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C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

APRIL 13, 2017 | VOL. 33

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N0. 49

How Donald Trump has increased interest in the lives and tactics of longtime tax resisters. By Mary Finn


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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY NEW TARIFF IN TOWN

Inspired by the Orange One, many Americans are now living their tax-resister lives out in the open. Cover illustration by Alex Fine, alexfine.com

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CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 17 A&E 22 DINE 28 CINEMA 30 TRUE TV 31 MUSIC 44 COMMUNITY

MARY FINN

Cover story A former campaign organizer during during Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential run, Finn is the Freedom of Information Act manager for Democracy in Crisis. She first got familiar with FOIA during her days as an intern at the Clinton Presidential Archive. Currently, she’s studying to be an archivist and librarian.

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

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Cover story, March 30, “Still Standing”

Unless Utah’s political class is stopped, it will execute the most ruthless grab of Native American land by the white power structure since the 19th century. We must stop Utah politicians from seizing Bears Ears and other public lands that belong to you and me and every other American citizen. Utah politicians—against the wishes of the vast majority of Utah citizens—are trying to steal national treasures, including habitat for endangered species and other wildlife, vital watersheds, national monuments, ancient petroglyphs and Native American sacred lands to sell and lease to their campaign donors. These donors are a tiny minority of Utah citizens, but they are supported and financed by out-of-state interests. Their campaign donations buy access by ensuring continuing political power for their legislating puppets. What do the puppeteers want for investing in the political careers of compliant politicians? They want to drill, mine, log and graze national treasures for private profit. They want their puppets to steal the birthright of every American to increase their own corporate profits. While 60-plus percent of the people of Utah oppose the legislative larceny being pushed by Bishop, Chaffetz, Lee and others, they are opposed by 80-plus percent of the owners of the lands—you, me and every other American citizen. With the full knowledge that they are acting against the will of the people, Utah politicians plan to pass their larcenous legislation with as little public scrutiny as possible. We can stop them if we throw open the shutters and let the sun shine in.

RJ DAVENPORT Via Facebook

Private Eye, March 30, “.05 Guide”

What a fine example of exercising a citizen’s right to complain, criticize, and log a grievance against one’s government. I’m sure the Legislature won’t come back to review this, as indicated in a signing statement by the governor, but at least it’s nice to know us liquor people are not alone.

JANIS WALTON

Via cityweekly.net

I remember, and has both cold and hot water lines running to it, so temp can be adjusted. I like it better than the Thai sprayers, actually.

This town needs an enema, to coin a phrase.

Via Facebook

RICHARD WERLING

Via Twitter Ignorance is a virtue to these people.

Most animals are flexible enough to lick their own anuses. This is a time for us to be grateful for our deficiencies.

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

Join us or go to hell, is the Mormon motto.

Must be a slow news day.

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

News, March 30, “Give Them Shelter”

The Ocho, March 30, “Eight campaign slogans for Sen. Orrin Hatch’s run for an eighth term”

Trump’s fluffer. Haha, douche bag.

CHARLES PROWS

They really are very good. I do always have to specifically ask that all the nasty bits (tendon, blood cake) be included in my bun bo hue. If I don’t, they leave it out for the white people.

John, great story about our screwed-up liquor policies.

CLARKE BERNTSON

@EYESAYS

CHRIS SPAG

SCOTT FRANDSEN

I’m disappointed in many of the residents of the SL Valley. These people are taking NIMBY to new levels.

TRAVIS HYSELL Via Facebook

Straight Dope, March 30, “A TP Tale”

You think .05 is bad? I have a commercial drivers license. My limit was .04 already; now I’m a .025. Stop bitching unless you bitch for all of us.

City Weekly sometimes runs “hard news” stories, but many more are informative, like this one. I think it’s interesting. One thing they have in Thailand that I really wish we had here are butt sprayers. After doing one’s business, a quick spray cleans away all the offensive material. My nether region never felt cleaner than it felt there.

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

JH THOMPSON, Ogden

DEAN MICHEAL HALLADAY

Some of us remember when you needed a special state ID card to purchase booze at the state-run liquor stores. By the way,

BENTON CLARK

Thailand got me, too, hooked on water cleansing. In our house, we have a sort of bidet attachment that fits between the toilet and the toilet seat. It was about $100, as

PAX RASMUSSEN

DUSTIN CLARK

STEVE DECARIA

I have one: “Politics made me rich.” Via Facebook

How about “Sure, you can buy my vote. How much we talking?”

MIKE BROWN Via Facebook

“Till death do us part.”

PHYLLIS ROBERGE MAYHEW Via Facebook He hasn’t done a damn thing for Utah in years. Why do people keep voting for him? He is a joke in Washington, D.C. Time to get someone else in there. A yes man where Trump is concerned.

ELLA BRADY WESTLEY Via Facebook

We need to get someone in touch with real life. Vote him out!

Via Facebook Can’t he just die already? [He’s] the epitome of what’s wrong with D.C. Via Facebook Yeah, seven terms is enough, but he’s better than the scourge of filth and perversion that has taken over Salt Lake County. The absolute disgusting putrid garbage known as the progressive left. I’m a classical liberal voting for Hatch.

JAMES DUBIN JR. Via Facebook

VINCENT SEBASTIAN GREEN Via Facebook

Dining, March 30, “Pho 2.0”

CHRIS KETH Via Facebook

City Guide 2017

Hey, Salt Lake City! Get out and love your town. <3 Thanks, @CityWeekly.

@TORREYHOUSE Via Twitter

Hey, this is pretty cool.

@THESOCIETYU Via Instagram Have to have.

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OPINION

Sex Legislation

In deference to porn-addiction crime fighter Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, let’s assume that Utah’s internet porn sites all get shut down—though it’s not the least bit likely. However, for sake of discussion, let’s say it happens. It’s done, over, kaput, gone. Since sex education in schools is discouraged, where do teens go for info? Legislators, I am told, expect they’ll get it solely from their parents. OK, you can stop laughing now. In a recent letter to The Salt Lake Tribune, a 20-year-old from St. George in favor of funding sex ed said, “The assumption that parents are experts on human sexuality and talk to their kids about sex is one of my biggest problems with Utah’s sex education. When the topic of sex education came up in one of my college classes, the professor asked how many of the students were educated on sex by their parents and a whopping three out of 40 raised their hands.” Learning about sex is inevitable. It comes from three places: blind experimentation, clueless classmates and unscientific but successful magazines. Presuming that parents will step in to fill the gap has failed. By not funding and supporting sex ed in school, legislators have abandoned professional curriculum content and assured that kids will learn about sex from the public marketplace. Kids today are getting sex education from places like Barnes & Noble, Amazon, public libraries and supermarket aisles of Target or Walmart. Peruse these places and you’ll find what I did—and, if you are among the culturally conservatives, will start hyperventilating. Let’s start with some of the many popculture magazines available for check-out at the local public library. Here are some direct excerpts from Cosmopolitan: “In our culture, we’re so used to instant

B Y S TA N R O S E N W E I G

gratification and always having something new. When you get tired of your phone, for example, you get a new one. You don’t see many people reimagining uses for their dated phones. The same ennui can befall romantic partners—gone is the erotic anticipation that used to surround sex. Instead of planning a special date beforehand, you just look at each other like, ‘Wanna do it?’” “‘Having the best sex ever with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re definitely the one for you,’ says Jenny Taitz, PsyD, a psychologist in Los Angeles. … Remember that one guy who hit all the right buttons for you in bed but stopped returning your texts? Well, your perfect match will keep the orgasms and daily check-ins coming.” “Sure, plenty of couples start off in a state of unbridled passion. You know: extra-hot, extraoften sex. After all, this is when you’re both willing to do all kinds of things to present your very best side in the bedroom.” Cosmopolitan’s March 2017 cover enthusiastically teased the following stories: “Our Biggest Sex Q&A—Answers to Your Most Private Questions!” “Hot-Body Secrets—You’re Gonna Love Being Naked!!” Here’s a couple from Women’s Health: “Easy Orgasms—Anytime, Anywhere. Learn the dirty little secrets to guarantee peak, powerful orgasms every time. You’re on a bus, or in a waiting room, so why not get some sex tips?” “Say hello to the new threesome: you, your guy and your toy. One-third of both men and women in our survey said they use toys during sex, and two-thirds agreed that they make nooky hotter.” Finally, an excerpt from Men’s Fitness: “Women can be shy about getting oral sex. They may be nervous about the smell or taste of their bodies. … It can be hard for

women to express their sexual needs, so encourage her to guide you by asking her to either moan when she likes it or show you with her own hand. For some women, cunnilingus is too gentle—they need it a little rougher than your tongue is able. So while you go down on her, try stimulating other areas, too—use two fingers inside her, caress the anal area or play with her nipples.” This is what we get from our online free market economy. Hold on—we haven’t even discussed what teens are learning at local retailers. Here are just a few of the educational items on display in around my neighborhood: “First Response Ovulation. Get Pregnant Sooner. Predicts your Most Important Fertile Days.” “KY Intense Pleasure Gel Stimulates and Intensifies.” “Male Genital Desensitizer. Lidocaine. Last longer, stay in the moment.” “Trojan Vibrations. Hot Spot vibrating ring of bliss condom.” As I said, these are just a few of many “arouses and releases” lubricants, and multi-textured condoms that are on display to educate teens, in addition to numerous ovulation and pregnancy test kits which have instructions that are, for many teens, their first exposure to sex. The information is available anywhere and everywhere; we are fools to think we can control it like liquor sales or shield our children’s eyes with a sexual Zion curtain. There’s only one tried-and-true way to manage what our teenagers learn about sex, love and procreation. We can preempt all the marketplace noise by funding and providing good, helpful, trained educator-controlled, in-school sex education programs. Sex ed might not be taught in Utah—but, one way or the other, it will be learned. CW

THE INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE; WE ARE FOOLS TO THINK WE CAN CONTROL IT.

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

How did you find out about the birds and the bees? Jeremiah Smith: Like every young Mormonraised boy—from the bad kids at school. Scott Renshaw: My dad got a couple of library books, gave them to my brother and me, and hoped we didn’t have any questions. Nicole Enright: In the classic Utah way, where your parents tell you absolutely nothing. So you find out mostly from your juniorhigh friends and improvise from there. Brian Plummer: Neighbor’s blurry HBO. Uncomfortable Discovery Channel programs with my parents (one time) and awkward fourth grade “education.” I’ve been scarred ever since.

Josh Scheuerman: The Cannonball Run II sometime around 1984. There’s a moment when the lead actress gets stranded and uses her best assets to get picked up while hitchhiking. I had no idea at the time why I would get in trouble for redrawing the scene in third grade, but it also kicked off my love of drawing.

David Miller: I was a curious kid and did some investigative work in a copy of Gray’s Anatomy my parents had. This just caused more confusion and I had to go ask my parents anyway.

Randy Harward: It was on the playground in first grade, while in a concrete tunnel writing graffiti—lyrics to “You Are My Sunshine”—in crayon. When I wasn’t scribbling wisdom for the people, I played kissing tag, and the lyrics were for a certain fourth-grade girl whose breath always smelled of SpaghettiOs. My graf accomplice said I should “screw” her. I didn’t understand. He enlightened me with words and gestures. That kind of leadership elevated him to the office of student body president in high school. Lisa Dorelli: Trial and error.


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FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

DW HARRIS

The Science of Brewing...

1200 S State St. 801-531-8182 / beernut.com www.facebook.com/thebeernut

Beer & Wine brewing supplies

Hours: Sun 10-5pm M-Sat 10am-6:30pm

Nancy McGahey knows a thing or two about resolving an argument. She completed mediation training in 1988 in New Mexico and volunteered for a parent-teen mediation program. A decade later, she began volunteering at Utah Dispute Resolution, located in a basement floor office in the Law and Justice Center at 645 S. 200 East. In 2004, McGahey was hired as executive director for the center, which handles more than 1,000 disputes in the course of a year.

Broadly, what is Utah Dispute Resolution?

We are a small charitable nonprofit mediation center, and our mission is to serve the state of Utah. We have our main office here [in Salt Lake City and] we have an office in Ogden. We conduct mediations and we also provide education and training in conflict resolution and mediation skills.

So you help people resolve their legal disputes outside the court system?

Yes. They can do it without attorneys or with attorneys. The legal system has really embraced mediation as a way for people to resolve their own disputes. How it primarily differs from going to court is that the parties retain control over decisions. In a court, a judge would make a decision. In mediation, the mediator facilitates the communication and helps parties come to their own decisions. It’s a voluntary process. Even when it’s ordered—and it’s increasingly ordered by courts, for family matters especially—the parties aren’t ordered to reach an agreement. They can choose to end the process if they don’t feel like they’re being well served by it. That’s the big difference.

Can you give an example of someone who might need your services?

Just about anything can be mediated other than crimes. On one end of the spectrum, we have a youth program. For example, two students in the high school maybe argued over a boyfriend or something and they can come together and reach an agreement. Or we have neighbor disputes. Two neighbors may be arguing over a fence line. We had one case where they were in disagreement about where to put garbage cans on pickup day. On the other end of the spectrum, we mediate divorces, divorce modifications, parentage orders. We have a big family program that addresses that kind of thing. We also have cases that involve consumer-merchant disputes, where, maybe someone feels like they didn’t receive the service that they had agreed to or thought they were purchasing. We receive a lot of requests from tenants wanting to mediate with their landlords over security deposits, or the apartment is not being fixed according to their expectations. Just about any kind of a dispute or conflict could come into mediation.

There is an open house on April 27, from 5-8 p.m. What can attendees expect?

It’s really a celebration of having passed our 25th-year milestone anniversary, and we’re inviting anyone to come and learn more about our process, meet our board of trustees, meet our staff, meet our volunteers. It’s also to thank all of our volunteers and all the people who have contributed so much time and effort over these 25-plus years to make this organization what it is today.

—DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS

dwharris@cityweekly.net


HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Miss Underpaid

Nationwide, but mostly in Utah, women just don’t amount to much. A report from National Partnership for Women and Families finds that women here are paid 71 cents for every dollar a man makes, amounting to an annual wage gap of $14,681. That's the fourth-largest in the nation. Don’t forget that Utah conservatives don’t believe there really is a pay gap. Just refer to an old Derek Monson article for the Sutherland Institute, in which he states that pay discrepancies are attributable entirely to behavioral differences between men and women, and discrimination accounts for a mere 5-to-7 percent of the gap. Oh, and women value “family friendly” workplace policies more than men. Still, neither The Salt Lake Tribune nor Deseret News saw it fit to interview a single man about the issue. Maybe it’s just a woman’s problem to solve.

Town Hall 'Thugs'

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APRIL 13, 2017 | 9

You have to hand it to the feds for finding something to stick to the Utah Transit Authority—or rather certain members of it—for misconduct and, you know, profiting at the expense of the taxpayer. The Salt Lake Tribune seemed OK after federal prosecutors reached a deal not to hit the agency itself if it will just hand over the incriminating evidence. The next day, former board member and developer Terry Diehl was indicted. But there are bigger fish, and Diehl seems a bit like a scapegoat. “How do you have an investigation and block out and clear the principals?” citizen advocate Claire Geddes asks. Worse yet is the Legislature’s fix: require Senate confirmation of board members. Really? How about making UTA a government agency? Not in Utah, where the road to transparency is paved with clouded intentions.

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Stick it to the UTA

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In his letter to the editor, Steven Pappas said The Salt Lake Tribune’s coverage of Rep. Chris Stewart’s Town Hall was disappointing. State GOP Chairman James Evans called the audience “thugs”—you know, because they were yelling at the honorable Mr. Stewart. The coverage in general made the Town Hall sound like some kind of mob event. But it wasn’t. Most of the audience was quiet. After all, it was stunning to hear Stewart come out of the box, asking how many had voted for Bernie, Hillary or @realDonaldTrump—and then to say he knows no one in the audience voted for him. Pappas wrote that the purpose was to learn constituents’ concerns. And Stewart joked that he’d never know, except for all the signs. Yes, there was yelling. But Stewart was adept in veering from the questions.


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The recent dispatch of Kim Jong-nam by VX poisoning is all over the news at the moment, and reports invariably describe VX as odorless and tasteless. How would anybody know what a substance this toxic tastes or smells like, short of a heroic self-sacrifice by the assessor? Even inhaling this stuff seems foolhardy to me, let alone voluntarily giving it a lick. —Mike Caudwell

Surely, Mike, you’ll recall the first principle of toxicology, distilled from writings of the 16th-century medical pioneer Paracelsus: “Sola dosis facit venenum,” or “The dose makes the poison.” Inhaled or ingested in great enough amounts, the idea being, any substance will take you down, including necessities of life like water and oxygen. Conversely, your body can process nearly anything in sufficiently small quantities and keep on kicking. Even an encounter with the notorious nerve agent VX can be survived, though I can’t discourage this kind of field research strongly enough. People have been sampling poisonous substances since antiquity—sometimes in hope of medical benefit, sometimes as research before slipping it in someone’s drink. One reason we know that certain poisons are tasteless and odorless is that such secret killers are especially prized by anyone who wants to off a foe undetected. The earliest poisons were herbal and generally distinct-tasting. Hemlock apparently tastes like parsnip, but more bitter and accompanied by a mousy smell. Aconite, also called monkshood and wolfsbane, was another poison known to the ancients; in testimony from an 1882 English murder trial, a medical examiner who’d tasted it reported that it created a burning and numbing sensation in the mouth—similar to the taste, he said, of an extract he’d made from the victim’s organs. Strychnine, used medicinally in Asia for centuries, wasn’t identified by Western science until the early 1800s; with its bitter taste and tendency (in high-enough doses) to cause dramatically convulsive death, strychnine was an effective way to kill but an ineffective way to not get caught. In 2006, the Hindustan Times reported that a goldsmith named M.P. Prasad, from the Indian city of Kochi, had in his dying moments left a suicide note providing valuable insight into the experience of ingesting cyanide: “It burns the tongue and tastes acrid.” But cyanide’s powerfully bitter flavor had long been documented, as it takes about a half a gram to fell a midsize victim. To some people, cyanide smells like burnt almond, but to others it’s odorless— there’s a genetic factor at work here. The assassin’s best friend, of course, is a poison that kills slowly, and if you’re going to get someone to ingest their cause of death over time, it had better be undetectable. Arsenic is perhaps the most notorious tasteless and odorless chemical, involved in a third of all criminal poisoning cases in 19th-century England. A dose the size of

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Toxic Test

a pea was enough to cause sudden death, though again the cagier poisoners doled it out more gradually. Meanwhile, though, other Victorians were ingesting arsenic on doctor’s orders—at low dosage, it was prescribed for conditions ranging from asthma to rheumatism to diminished libido. Some non-naturally occurring poisons have made their way into scientific awareness innocently enough, and their taste and odor properties were determined through accidental exposure. Thallium sulfate, a highly toxic compound with no smell or taste, was discovered in 1861 as a byproduct of sulfuric acid production. Doctors used it for years to remove the hair of ringworm patients; later, in greater amounts, it was employed to poison rats and, in a number of high-profile 20th-century cases, people. VX, by contrast, was a killer from Day 1. Originally developed as a pesticide circa 1952, it showed immediate promise as a topflight chemical weapon: viscous enough to stick to whatever it touched; hypertoxic enough even in minute amounts (say, 10 milligrams) to induce paralysis and respiratory failure via skin contact. (Malaysian officials say Kim Jong-nam’s attackers managed to rub it on his face.) Scary stuff, but there is such thing as a nonlethal dose, and plenty of people have been exposed to VX in military research and lived to get debriefed about it. According to medical historian Ulf Schmidt, in an unauthorized 1958 test, two British Army scientists had 50-microgram droplets of VX applied to their forearms. Retired U.S. Army psychiatrist James Ketchum, who in the 1960s conducted chemical-warfare studies at the Edgewood Arsenal research facility in Maryland, claims that the chief medical officer there would regularly startle lecture audiences by dipping a finger into a beaker of VX, then calmly scrubbing it off as he explained that the poison needed a little more time than that to soak in. But these guys were officers and scientists, and knew what they were dealing with; their rank-and-file test subjects signed up with no idea of what might happen to them. In a 2012 New Yorker article about Ketchum’s work at Edgewood, one former volunteer describes undergoing physical and mental agony after a tiny drop of VX was squirted on his arm and left there. So when the Army tells you VX has no odor—as in its pamphlet Toxic Chemical Agent Safety Standards—that information was bought at a significant price. n

Send questions via straightdope.com or write to c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.


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Taking its Toll Inside Ogden’s IRS connection. BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @DylantheHarris

DW HARRIS

A

The historic Boyle Warehouse Building near Wall Avenue and 23rd Street is now an IRS center in Ogden.

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of how things might work across the country.” Secondarily, thousands of IRS employees help support the local economy. “We get all those people there buying lunch and spending money,” he says. “That contributes to a collection of sales taxes.” As for the broad inimical attitude about the IRS, Christopoulos gets it. Taxes are taxes, he says, but the IRS’ impact on Ogden—offices where residents work and contribute—is undeniable and lasting. If the IRS were to, “worst-case scenario,” completely close its Ogden operations, Christopoulos says, rentable office spaces would remain for new business. The Standard-Examiner published an article last September that said the Ogden IRS complex had survived a round of closures that were scheduled to shutter all but two other federal processing centers by 2024. Citing an IRS figure, the story noted that the Ogden facility would remain open, despite the claim that the workforce there had shrunk by 1,400. Clifford confirmed the reduction. It was during a budget squeeze around 2010 when the IRS lost 17,000 jobs nationally. But, he revealed, in the coming years, Ogden will take on more of the business-processing duties. By 2020, the 32 million tax returns processed in Ogden is projected to balloon to 54 million. “We’re looking to increase in Ogden,” he says. “And that is a good-news story for us as much as it is for Ogden because we’ve had terrific success with hiring in Ogden. Just this year, we were able to hire almost 500 people, and we tend to get top-notch, talented people in Ogden.” CW

the Wage and Investment Division. “In all of the critical pieces of tax administration that IRS delivers every year, Ogden has at least a piece of and in some cases, a very significant piece,” he says. The agency is a major employer in town. While Ogden embraces the IRS and the jobs it provides, city officials are even more pleased with what the IRS has done to revitalize the area. Ogden City’s Director of Community and Economic Development Tom Christopoulos says the city had struggled to breathe life into a dilapidated block along Wall Avenue. The rundown district was tarnished with flophouses and boarded-up façades. Christopoulos likened it to a postwar ghost town. “Roofs were collapsed. There was barbed-wire fences around everything. It was quite a disaster,” he says. “No one went there.” Today, the area is experiencing a renaissance, thanks to the IRS, Christopoulos claims, by moving in and “clearing up tracts of land that were blighted.” The IRS operation has helped the city in two specific ways, Christopoulos explains. First, the federal government didn’t purchase the property, but instead agreed to lease it from a private landowner. Foregoing federal status, this allows Ogden to collect property taxes. Christopoulos says the city invested the tax dollars into redevelopment projects, such as renovation of the Junction and River projects, and a projected 750 new housing units. “The way they went about it and were willing to pay rent and make this a taxable entity, is a really interesting model

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are on the Republican Study Committee, and Rep. Rob Bishop, R-Utah, was among the 131 co-sponsors in the 114th Congress for House Resolution 25, named “The Fair Tax Act of 2015.” Among other sweeping tax reforms, that legislation would have outright defunded the IRS after fiscal year 2019. Problem solved, right? Not quite. Revile the IRS all you’d like, but the largest city in Bishop’s district, and home of his Utah headquarters, has a symbiotic 60-year history with the agency. Each morning, thousands of federal workers march into one of 10 IRS buildings in the greater Ogden area. The newest IRS operation is on a campus near the heart of Ogden’s historic 25th Street, which is lined with popular restaurants and bars, and quaint boutiques and galleries. At the corner of 23rd Street and Wall Avenue, a four-story, red brick building resembles a factory of yesteryear. An obsolescent ad for “American Food Stores” painted on the eastern side is weathered and chipping away. This edifice is one of three buildings that moved next to the historic district between 2003 and 2011. An LDS temple spire juts into the air a few blocks away, visible to the halfdozen IRS employees who are taking a smoke break on a recent weekday. Inside, employees process thousands of tax returns, mostly those filed quarterly or monthly by businesses. And many of the 20 million Americans who call the IRS each year needing answers about taxes end up talking to a person in an Ogden center, according to Jim Clifford, IRS director of customer accounts services in

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pack of fiscal conservatives did in 2015 what fiscal conservatives do. They proposed slashes to the federal government, the most glaring suggestion of which was to disband the IRS. Not reduce or restructure. Utterly abolish. The U.S. House group, called the Republican Study Committee, drafted a report titled “Fixing the Tax Code,” which detailed what they see as fundamental problems with the current tax structure. It’s a bold, but not outlandish, request coming from a coterie of conservatives who commonly call for smaller government. Plenty of politicians—mostly Republicans—have championed the closure of entire federal departments and agencies before, and the IRS, whose primary purpose is to collect taxes— another bulbous pea under the GOP mattress—is unpopular among constituents, and thus a natural target. The Pew Research Center conducted a 2015 poll that found, perhaps unsurprisingly, that the IRS was once again one of the least-liked government agencies. A cross-section of Americans gave the IRS a 42-percent favorable rating compared with a 52-percent unfavorable rating. The Social Security Administration, by comparison, which fell in the middle of the agency rankings, was rated 55 percent to 37 percent, favorable to unfavorable. (Congress, on the other hand, sank in the dregs with a 27-to-69 percent score.) As it were, the GOP committee members weren’t risking political points when they suggested giving the IRS the boot. At its core, the tax code, they argued, hurts economic growth particularly among middle-class families. Forbes, reporting on the GOP study committee’s tax proposal, noted that “while most taxpayers would balk at calling the IRS efficient, the agency collects $100 in federal revenue for every 35 cents in costs.” This contradicts the committee’s claim that the IRS is, “at best, an inefficient behemoth weighing down our economy.” And “at its worst, the IRS has shown a capacity for outright corruption and political targeting.” The Beehive State delegation agrees. All four Utah House representatives


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12 | APRIL 13, 2017

~ Spring Retreat ~

May 18 - 21 at the Homestead Resort

THE

CITIZEN REVOLT

OCHO

In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

TRUMP TAXES MARCH

WORK SHOPS • YARN TA STINGS MINERAL WATER • MOUNTAIN AIR Good Times | Good Friends | Great Yarn

The Wool Cabin Register at thewoolcabin.com

2020 East 3300 South Suite 11 SLC | 801.466.1811 | M-F 10-6, Sat 10-4

April 15 is looming for those of us who dutifully add up the profits and losses in our lives. Not so for our president, who has still given no indication that he will release his tax returns—even though 2016 can’t possibly be under audit. What is he hiding? Not even Rachel Maddow knows. Activists across the country are gearing up for a rally on Tax Day, calling on @realDonaldTrump to act transparently and release his tax returns. The Trump Taxes March isn’t just about papers—it’s about economic justice, about whether he and the rest of the super-rich are paying their fair share, and about how beholden our government is to corporate interests and the wealthy. Most important, it’s about how they have more influence than you. Salt Lake City & County Building, 451 S. State, 801-535-7600, Saturday, April 15, noon-2 p.m., free, bit.ly/2oalyxk

CITIZEN REPRESENTATION PANEL

We bet you love being called “thugs” for speaking truth to power. Here is an opportunity to safely grumble that your concerns are not being represented in Congress. An upcoming citizens panel turns the attention on "the representation or non-representation that citizens receive for their tax dollars." The event, dubbed Taxation Without Representation? WE PAY …. WE SAY! invites audience members to "engage with panelists in a lively, moderated discussion. Your views are then shared with Utah’s Congressional delegation." Salt Lake City Public Library, 210 E. 400 South, Saturday, April 15, 3-5 p.m., free, bit.ly/2oJWeiX

LGBTQ SUICIDE PREVENTION

Utah is a special place. From 2007-14, the youth suicide rate tripled. More concerning were the 32 young LGBTQ Mormons who took their lives in the three months after the LDS Church declared its latest same-sex policy. Stronger Communities: LGBTQ+ Suicide Prevention is a day-long American Foundation for Suicide Prevention chapter-sponsored conference to raise awareness about LGBTQ suicide risk, bring research findings to the attention of professionals and the public, and explore strategies for suicide prevention in local communities. The agenda includes plenary and breakout sessions with national experts on LGBTQ mental health and suicide risk. Little America Hotel, 500 S. Main, 801-230-7082, Tuesday, April 18, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., $50 (students, $25), bit.ly/2oJGlZV

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

@Bill _ Frost

Eight fun factoids about Easter:

8. The grass lining in Easter baskets is nutritious and delicious—dig in, kids!

7. For the sake of national se-

curity, Jesus, Santa and the Easter Bunny never travel together.

6.

Should anything happen to all three, next in the command chain is Michael Myers, Patron Saint of Halloween.

5. The tradition of dyeing

hard-boiled eggs honors Pass, the Goddess of Cholesterol.

4.

Originally developed by Acme Suppositories, Peeps were never meant to be ingested orally.

3. Easter bonnets are a tool

of the patriarchy to keep women chaste and/or preoccupied on Etsy.

2.

Lamb Easter dishes are a lie perpetuated by Big Mutton.

1. A chocolate Easter Bunny is

only as hollow as your soul. So, if you’ve read this far …


RE$IST

How Donald Trump has increased interest in the lives and tactics of longtime tax resisters.

By Mary Finn comments@cityweekly.net

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APRIL 13, 2017 | 13

But, for long-time resisters like Nippert, the decision not to pay taxes doesn’t depend on who is in the White House. It is a matter of personal conscience. As a child, Nippert had attended services at the Church of the Brethren. “When I was a kid, I knew my religion and stuff, and I was involved in a youth group, but I didn’t think too heavily about what was going on in the world or what that had to do with my religious beliefs,” he says. “I knew things were going on in the world but they didn’t seem personally relevant.” But then, as for so many, the Vietnam War engendered a crisis of conscience. He was lucky to get a draft deferment from the war by enrolling as a student at Ohio University and then transferring to Ohio State. The war plodded along and Nippert lived a parallel life as a Buckeye. He pledged a fraternity, but the brothers decided he wasn’t Beta Theta Pi material. “Looking back on it, I think they made the right decision,” he says. “That was a time when everything was changing. I was letting my hair grow a little longer, but the frats were still pretty conservative. There were weird things they didn’t like about me. I didn’t hold my cigarette the right way. And, you know, really, I was just a farm boy.” Around the same time, someone gave him a copy Joan Baez’ memoir, Daybreak.

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od Nippert grew up on a farm with 40,000 turkeys in the Appalachian Mountains in southeastern Ohio. He wanted to escape the life of a farm boy as quickly as he could. Nippert had big plans—become an engineer, move to the city and buy a red Corvette. That was 1967. Forty years later, he and his wife Linda live and work on a 100-acre, community-owned raspberry farm in Appalachia. He spends his days puttering around in a stainedglass shop that he runs with his neighbor. There’s no Corvette in his garage. Nippert’s life was fundamentally altered by his decision to break the law. He hasn’t paid his federal income tax, in full, since 1973. Nippert is one of approximately 8,000 Americans who openly choose to contest paying their full federal income tax. They don’t consider themselves to be criminal tax evaders; they prefer to be called war tax resisters. President Trump’s refusal to release his income taxes has fueled interest in tax resistance for some anti-Trumpers. “Take a look at Trump. Did he reveal his taxes? No,” Jay Sordean, a war tax resistance counselor in Berkeley, Calif., says. “I am sure he is hiding lots of crap. He is in this for himself and I am sure his taxes reflect his beliefs.”


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COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT

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14 | APRIL 13, 2017

“Some people who don’t pay taxes are just fruitcakes in terms of the reasons they are using to avoid paying taxes.” —Peter Smith

“Her book affected me a lot in terms of thinking about issues of pacifism and made me think about what I learned about non-violence from Church of the Brethren,” he says. In 1968, Nippert started hanging out at political meetings at Ohio State, where he learned more about draft resistance and non-violent protest. “I grew up being taught to think for myself, and once I started going to meetings and hearing people talking and hold strong opinions passionately, it kind of opened me up,” he says. “It caused me to ask, ‘What do I really believe in passionately? How am I supposed to live my beliefs?’” Initially, he got involved with a campus group that was doing draft counseling for people who wanted to escape to Canada, and helped them fill out forms so that they could register as conscientious objectors. But Nippert’s own conscience continued to gnaw at him. One night in 1969, he broke into “the Shoe,” Ohio State’s 66,000-seat football stadium. It was midnight. He’d climbed all the way to the top bleacher and sat there, alone, for a few hours. Enveloped by the all-American scene, Nippert thought about his relationship to his country. “I wanted to make the right decisions. I am not, and never have been ‘anti’ my country. Not at all,” he says. “I love my country. I thought that if I am not truly a pacifist, I should go register for the draft and serve. I am not going to walk around saying I am a pacifist, if I’m not willing to make a personal sacrifice. I am not a chicken. I can’t be just trying to get out of going to war. I have to really be for something. Sitting up there in the stadium alone, I came to my decision. I decided that I couldn’t kill anybody.” But there was more. “If I can’t kill someone, can I pay someone else to kill for me?” he asked himself. “I decided that I couldn’t do either and I really needed to live as a pacifist.” Two months later, Nippert dropped out of Ohio State and was called up for the draft. The draft board required documentation to validate his conscientious objector status. Nippert’s dad wrote him a letter of support. He had been a fighter pilot in World War II, captured and starved by the Nazis as a prisoner of war. In the letter, his father wrote, “As a farmer, we learn that each of us needs to plow our own furrow.” Nippert’s petition was approved, and soon after, he stopped paying his taxes.

A $YMBOLIC RESISTANCE

War tax resisters believe that we should be able to decide for ourselves when, if and how much we pay in federal tax based on our beliefs. They think we should able to decide how much we pay, or if we pay at all, when we don’t think the government is going to use our money to our liking. The IRS clearly does not agree. IRS Code 6702 requires the agency to maintain a list of “frivolous filings,” which “describes and responds to some of the common frivolous tax arguments made by those who oppose compliance with federal tax laws.” The IRS can fine filers up to $5,000 for attaching a letter of protest or writing directly on a tax form about any of the frivolous filing issues. War tax resistance is on the list. The agency did not respond to questions about tax resistance. “One doesn’t like to hear the word frivolous about an action we take so seriously, but I know it isn’t intended as a diss to us in particular,” says Ruth Benn, the national coordinator of the National War Tax Resistance Coordinating Committee (NWTRCC, pronounced “New Trick”), a group founded in 1982 in response nuclear proliferation. “Since they started the frivolous filing penalties as a result of war tax resistance, a lot of us did an action we called ‘cabbage patch filing.’ People filed dozens of 1040s instead of filing just one. The goal was to slow down the system.” Benn says all frivolous filings have been processed at the IRS facility in Ogden since the early 2000s. That’s when people in the network started noting the Utah return address. “Periodically, the IRS has reorganized its offices and consolidated functions in one place or another,” she says. “Some people who don’t pay taxes are just fruitcakes in terms of the reasons they are using to avoid paying taxes,” Peter Smith, a war tax resister from Indiana, says. “You know, like things that are never going to work.” For instance, there are some people in the states’ rights crowd who believe the Ninth Amendment protects them from the overreach of the federal government’s ability to collect income tax. For some odd reason, some filers claim that


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APRIL 13, 2017 | 15

“One doesn’t like to hear the word frivolous about an action we take so seriously.” —Ruth Benn

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COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT

the early 1960s. “During the Vietnam War, I knew that what the government needed to fight the war was money and people. I knew that I could resist with my money and so I did,” he says. For others, the catalyst was even more personal. Peace activist Cindy Sheehan—best known for her monthlong 2005 tent encampment protest outside President Bush’s Crawford, Texas, ranch—lost her son Casey to the Iraq war in April 2014 and stopped paying federal income tax. “After Casey was killed in the Iraq War, I looked at my then-husband and said that is the last time I am paying taxes. I am not filing or paying taxes to this government because they took something from us that they can never repay,” she says. “For years, I had funded the murder of so many people, including my own son.” She has ongoing federal liens against her for any future assets she might acquire but the magistrate in her IRS hearing took a sympathetic stance. “The judge looked up at me at the end of the hearing and said, ‘What you’ve done sounds like a real reasonable response to something that happened to you that was so unreasonable,’” she recalls. Many tax resisters view what they do as a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation. But the 8,000 war tax resisters don’t necessarily believe that they will stop all war. Not anymore, at least. Most of the people I spoke to for this article are now in their late 60s; they started their resistance wide-eyed and bell-bottomed, intending to starve the “war machine.” Now, most admit that’s not going to happen. “I don’t want to totally give up on change, but I don’t expect it in my lifetime,” Benn says. “What we do is going to someday turn things around. Like any conscientious objector, I think I have a role in showing another way. Through my tax resistance I am trying to show what is important.” War tax resistance is idiosyncratic; there isn’t a prescribed way to do it. Resisters do all they can to make it difficult for the IRS to collect what is owed. But for most, being a war tax resister translates to creating a simple, asset-free life. Though they don’t have a formal Utah bureau, nationwide, NWTRCC affiliate groups offer counseling to those interested in committing war tax resistance. Participants are guided to reflect on what they believe and to articulate

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if they write the phrase “nunc pro tunc”— Latin for “now for then”—on their 1040 form, they won’t have to pay income tax. “But the people who are out there who are honestly conscientious objectors and have legitimate reasons, we respect them and we say, go for it,” Smith says. Some people, for instance, refuse to pay their first $5,000 in federal tax because of what they refer to as a “Black Tax,” a version of self-imposed reparations taking the place of the 40 acres and mule promised by Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman at the end of the Civil War. Still, military spending is the most common issue. NWTRCC publishes an annual analysis of the federal budget in which they determine that about 50 percent of the federal budget goes toward current military spending, debt on past wars, upkeep of the nuclear arsenal and funding for homeland security. War tax resisters, like Nippert, use this figure as a guidepost when paying (or not paying) their federal income tax. But under Trump, military spending is poised to escalate. “Interest in tax resistance has been unusually active because of Trump’s election,” Benn says. “We saw a huge jump in our web stats since the inauguration. It is tax time and we have a president we don’t like. I mean, we aren’t like the Women’s March with 100,000s of people coming out. But, around the country, we are finding more interest in our workshops where there will be 20 people attending instead of the usual two. Local networks that don’t usually contact us have been unusually active. Some of the groups out there who are anti-Trump have come to us for ideas.” While the current political climate might have created a spike in interest in war tax resistance, many resisters interviewed for this story made it clear that their opposition isn’t grounded in partisanship but is based on a life of pacifism inspired by flashpoints like the Vietnam War, the 1980s nuclear arms race, American military involvement in Central America and the more recent wars in Iraq. Like Nippert, resisters tend to start out as activists and protesters in anti-war movements and then, ultimately, they ask themselves, “If I am so against war, then why am I paying for it?” “These are all conscious people who have chosen to stay out of the system,” Benn says. Smith, the tax resister from Indiana, served in the military for four years in


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16 | APRIL 13, 2017

COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT

Joseph Olejak

COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT

Rod Nippert

what they are looking for from their resistance. Then, they commit to the course of action that is the best for their life situation and their tolerance for risk. Jay Sordean, the Berkeley volunteer war tax resistance counselor, is selfemployed and doesn’t have withholdings taken directly from his paycheck. He also lives below the taxable-income limit. Sordean files his 1040 tax form every year, but he doesn’t include a check. He sends a letter of resistance with his form. In the 1990s, he got creative and sent palm-sized helium canisters that “looked like little cruise missiles” attached to his 1040, along with a letter of protest to the IRS, his senators and the Clinton White House. (Warning: don’t try this in the post-9/11 era.) War tax resisters who do receive a paycheck often hike up their withholding exemptions and end up having little or no money taken from their pay. Some people file and withhold $10.40 and they attach letters demanding a decrease in military spending, in an act of what is referred to as “symbolic resistance.” Like many resisters, Nippert put all of his assets in his wife’s name so that the house can’t be seized by the IRS. He doesn’t make enough money on the raspberry farm or in the stained-glass shop to pay personal income tax. Every war tax resister I talked to donates the money that should have been paid in taxes either to charities or one of the 50 funds, such as the People’s Life Fund, that redistribute the money for “life-affirming purposes.” Ann Barron, a resister since 2014 from San Diego, says, “I love paying taxes, but not for war. I pay my taxes, but not to the U.S. government.” The war tax resisters view what they do as patriotic. They openly commit civil disobedience, spawned by a love of country.

A NEW TARIFF IN TOWN

Tax resistance isn’t easy. Most resisters live in fear and experience financial uncertainty. The IRS wants the money it is owed and agents will do everything they can to get it, including placing liens on assets, seizing bank and retirement accounts and garnishing wages. For many resisters, the hassle and risk is worth the sacrifice. “It’s been worth it for me. One of the things about war tax resistance is that you have control over yourself. You can say no to the government and that’s not something many people can do because they feel kind of forced into paying. It is empowering for me,” Smith says. Nippert doesn’t worry so much about the IRS coming after him. “If you can be sympathetic to the IRS, it is getting much, much harder for them to collect taxes even for big amounts of money because the federal government is giving them less and less to work with,” he says. “I know that I am low-priority when they can’t even collect from people who owe a lot.” Still, the collection letters from the IRS can be relentless and filled with intimidating legalese. “I get the collection letters and they are a little scary,” Barron says. “One of the hardest things about tax resistance is that it is difficult to get the right legal information. My anxiety about the IRS was the first hurdle for me to get over in deciding to be a war resister. But now, I don’t feel fear. I made a decision to be public about what I’m doing. I feel a deep connection between what I believe and what I am doing.” What about jail? In 1846, in the most famous case of war tax resistance, author Henry David Thoreau was jailed for refus-

ing to pay six years’ worth of back taxes because of his opposition to slavery and the Mexican-American War. Since then, only a few dozen Americans have been jailed for war tax resistance. “Jail for war tax resistance is a myth,” NWTRCC’s Benn says. “The IRS doesn’t come and take you away. They just want their money. They don’t want people in jail.” Tell that to Joseph Olejak, a chiropractor and natural healer from Chatham, N.Y. Joseph started withholding his taxes from the government in 1992. “At first, the letters came more frequently from the IRS and the threats became more regular,” he recalls, “until, eventually, someone from the IRS showed up and said, ‘This is a civil matter now, but it will become a criminal matter if you don’t pay.’” Armed agents ended up storming Olejak’s office and seized his computers and records. In 2013, he was sentenced to serve weekends in county jail because he owed $242,000 to the federal government. The charges filed resulted in a felony conviction that caused him to lose his chiropractor’s license. For 26 weeks, he worked as a bookkeeper and advised clients on weight loss during the weekdays. On Friday nights at 6, Olejak checked into the county jail, changed into his jumpsuit and was fed “food that was so disgusting you couldn’t even call it food. It was a concoction of soy and meat-like substance over noodles,” he says. “It was so disgusting, sometimes I just fasted.” He checked out of jail each Sunday night and returned to diet coaching. Regrets about his choices? None. “Somewhere, somebody is not going to have a smart bomb dropped on their head because I withdrew some money from the system,” he says. As part of his plea deal, Olejak agreed to pay taxes in $100 monthly installments when he has the income to pay and was put on five years’ probation.

Aside from his highly aberrational jail sentence, Olejak suffered financial ruin. He can no longer practice as a chiropractor in his home state because of his criminal felony. Still, he sees himself as successful. “There are all kinds of success,” he says. “There is ethical success and financial success, and the two are not necessarily the same thing. This is not something that happened to me out of the blue. I made the choice. I made a conscious choice not to participate in war. I accepted the consequences and hoped that they would not be awful.” For Nippert, it’s turned out a lot better than “not awful.” “I don’t have any doubts about what I’ve done,” he says. “I think probably my overwhelming feeling is that this isn’t a direction I would have gone on my own, but it’s really turned out to be great for me.” Every morning, Nippert walks threequarters of a mile to his glass shop with his dog Candy next to him. He spends his days in the shop listening to Emmylou Harris, the X Ambassadors and Van Morrison. He and his wife, a recently retired elementary special-education teacher, usually have an unfinished puzzle on the coffee table that they work on together in the evenings after dinner. They are grandparents to 4-year-old twin boys. He’s got a birthday coming up. “People ask me what I want for my birthday. I don’t know. I mean it is not like I wish I had more money to buy more and more things,” he says. “When I was younger, I wasn’t concerned with money so much. I was just in love with a ’Vette, you know? But now, I’m just pretty happy. I am happy with the woods and my grandkids. I think the land is awfully healing.” But his son married a woman whose family owns a local car dealership. They usually have a few Corvettes in the garage. Maybe he’ll take one on a drive for his birthday. CW


People Productions: Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Upright Citizens Brigade

COURTESY THANKSGIVING POINT

Thanksgiving Point’s 13th annual Tulip Festival

APRIL 13, 2017 | 17

Spring has sprung. It’s that time of year when the sun shines longer and makes you feel stronger—a delightful season when flowers and trees start to bloom, and baby animals take their first steps. Families and lovers pick flowers for their loved ones. And what better place to do that than Thanksgiving Point’s 13th annual Tulip Festival? Drawing more than 100,000 visitors each year, it’s one of the biggest festivals in Utah. For 2017, nearly 300,000 tulips in hundreds of varieties have been divided into 15 themed gardens, according to Josh Berndt, director of communications for Thanksgiving Point. “The bulbs are imported directly from Holland for the most authentic feel possible,” he says. “The Tulip Festival is fun and unique, whether you’re a flower fan or not.” On the agenda are live music from Tulip Riot, the Tulip Fashion Show and more, plus a festival marketplace with vendors and food trucks from across the state. Wondering whether you should bring your kids? The Tulip Playland invites children to participate in crafts and games with the whole family. If you’re in the mood for dancing, hit the floor near the astonishing 65-foot waterfalls on April 28 with the Utah Swing Orchestra. Tulips, music, dancing and waterfalls—sounds like something from a magical fairy tale. Maybe you could create your own magic in the enchanted, 55-acre gardens. (Sulaiman Alfadhli) Thanksgiving Point’s 13th annual Tulip Festival @ The Ashton Gardens, 3900 Garden Drive, Lehi, 801-768-2300, through May 6, Monday-Saturday, 9 a.m.-8 p.m. (April 29, 10 a.m.-8 p.m.), $14-$20, thanksgivingpoint.org

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Even if you haven’t heard of Upright Citizens Brigade, you know the comedy legacy generated since its 1990s inception, with founding members including Saturday Night Live alumni Amy Poehler and Horatio Sanz and Veep cast member Matt Walsh. To this day, it rivals celebrated improv troupes The Groundlings and The Second City as a place to hone your comedic craft and get noticed by talent scouts. Now, UCB’s college-campus tours give the comedians a chance to perform for audiences around the country, while reaching out to the students for the show’s material. “My time at UCB has been and continues to be a wonderful, very productive comedy whirlwind,” touring company member Dhruv Uday Singh says in an email interview. “I believe in the old adage that the best way to be an artist is to find the artists’ commune and move in. For me, that place has been UCB.” Singh has been with the group for a year, and gets a thrill every time he’s asked to tour. Each time the group performs, they bring students up to talk about something from campus or home life, which they then incorporate into improv sketches. As an audience, this tour is particularly fun for us, as UBC rarely comes through Utah. “We don’t have a ton of time outside of the show, but I plan to eat at every restaurant our gracious hosts recommend [and] check out a bar where the cool kids hang,” Singh says. Who knows? You might see the next breakout comedian on stage before they make it big. (Gavin Sheehan) Upright Citizens Brigade @ Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, April 14, 7:30 p.m., $5-$25, tickets.utah.edu

SATURDAY 4/15

Celebrated playwright August Wilson’s Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom was the first in what later became a series of 10 plays called “The Pittsburgh Cycle,” which sought to provide glimpses into the black American experience of the 20th century. This beginning of Wilson’s cycle also serves as an ending: People Productions, Utah’s premier African Americanthemed theater company, is making the play its final show after 17 years. Based on historical character Ma Rainey— also known as “The Mother of the Blues”—the play takes place in a 1927 Chicago recording studio, where she and her band are working to turn her most famous music into something that will endure. Unfortunately—or fortunately for audiences—the recording is delayed, turning what would have been a quick session into a longer series of stories told by each member of the band. The story they tell is a bittersweet one, with a focus on morality, says the company’s Richard G. Scharine, co-founder and artistic director. “You have a situation where people are sort of making deals with the devil in order to get through life and to understand themselves. … So it’s very funny in some ways, because the stories that are told are funny, and the relationships within the play are funny,” he says. “But it’s also very much a tragedy. When you make a deal with the devil, you don’t always get what you think you’re going to get.” (Casey Koldewyn) Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom @ Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, 801-4852497, April 13-14 & 20-21, 7:30 p.m.; April 15 & 22, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; April 23, 2 p.m., $10-$15, peopleproductions.org

FRIDAY 4/14

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When avant-garde choreographer Ann Carlson had the set piece—a giant wall of white foam blocks—created for her latest work, Elizabeth, the Dance, she was not thinking about a policy proposal for our southern border, though anyone who follows the news might assume otherwise. Instead of being a symbol of modern obstruction, Carlson’s wall has an ancient quality—and, unlike the prospective border wall, this one breaks apart, shifts and moves along with Ririe-Woodbury dancers who perform with it during this world premiere of Spring Season. Most of Carlson’s work over three decades has been performed for audiences in New York and Los Angeles, where she’s made her home. Her previous work, The Symphonic Body, was choreographed at Stanford University and performed by students, staff and faculty. Carlson often works with non-dancers; even with animals. But Elizabeth, the Dance, is a nod to the long history of modern dance and the innovators whose exploration of the form has long inspired Carlson; her own choreography often walks a line between dance and performance art. For this piece, Carlson needed a company with a strong foundation in many variations and styles of modern dance. Her connection with RWDC goes back to the 1970s when, as a dance student at the University of Utah, she studied under founders Joan Woodbury and Shirley Ririe. Last year, Carlson called the company’s artistic director to ask if they might help stage her next big piece. This is a wall worth building (Katherine Pioli) Ririe-Woodbury Dance Co.: Spring Season @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, April 13-15, 7:30 p.m.; April 15, 2 p.m., $15-$45, artsaltlake.org

FRIDAY 4/14

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Ririe-Woodbury Dance Co.: Spring Season

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

BETH BRUNER

DANIEL CHARON

THURSDAY 3/13

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, APRIL 13-19, 2017

FRANCINE DAVETA

ESSENTIALS

the


A Really Modern StoneAge Family A new Flintstones comic combines rock puns with biting social commentary. BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

T

he year is 2017, and there are a lot of things I never thought I’d have to say—like “President Trump” or “There’s a new Star Wars movie this year, too?” But what I’m having the hardest time wrapping my head around is the amount of time I’ve spent telling people they need to read the comic book adaptation of The Flintstones. I know; I’m just as surprised as you are. I never thought I’d be writing this, but you need to read it. Why? Because it’s like nothing you would expect, but simultaneously everything you’d expect. Written by Mark Russell and brought to life by artist Steven Pugh, The Flintstones was relaunched last year by DC Comics. The first trade paperback collection just came out—representing issues 1-6. Yes, you get all of the bad “rock” puns you can shake a Neanderthal’s fist at, but you also get some fascinating and biting social commentary. This version of the Flintstones’ story shows the town of Bedrock as the foundation of all civilization. They’re making all the mistakes one would make in forming the first civilization, and the writer and artist are able to inform us about our current society as well. For instance, marriage equality. Back in the time of cavemen like Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, sex caves were the preferred order of things. Monogamous marriage was a bridge too far. Fred and Wilma end up at a couples retreat at one point, and it’s invaded by protesters

big SHINY ROBOT

screaming about how unnatural their union is. War and the treatment of veterans are topics, too. Before the town of Bedrock can come into existence, Fred, Barney and the rest of their friends are sent to war against the Tree People. The Water Buffalo lodge is no longer just a troupe of bowling buddies, but a veteran’s support group that helps Fred through his PTSD and existential crises. No issue is off-limits for the creative team. One of the more poignant storylines takes us behind the curtains of consumerism. In the classic cartoon, every standard kitchen appliance or bit of technology is actually a prehistoric animal that sits in a closet when not in use. The cave people of Bedrock don’t regard the lives of animals as worth anything beyond their utility, but as an audience we catch glimpses into their inner lives. In one of the best scenes in the first collection, we’re given a beautifully colored look inside a closet where the armadillo bowling ball and baby-elephant vacuum cleaner ponder the nature of their lives and what their purpose really is. Is friendship a possibility between objects? Are they objects? Should we be thinking more about the lives we’re affecting when we buy cheap appliances? Are the people who made them sitting in quiet closets debating their own slave wages and pondering their existence? The series is a poignant slice of social commentary, and every issue in the collection forces the reader to think about the world around them. But it doesn’t miss any of the playfulness of the original cartoon, either. It references just enough to keep fans interested, jabs at the years of Flintstones commercialism (including the vitamins), but it dives so deep that any reader even half-interested in philosophy will come back again and again. Like I said, I never thought I’d be telling you this now, but here we are. While the trade paperback collects the first six issues, the series is scheduled to continue until Issue 12. You can get it at any of the fine comic shops in the area, and it’ll have you saying “Yabba-dabba-damn, that was good.” CW DC COMICS

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A&E


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moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

PERFORMANCE THEATER

Blithe Spirit Jewett Center for the Performing Arts, Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, 801-484-7651, April 13-15, 7:30 p.m., westminstercollege.edu/theatre Body Project Randall L. Jones Theatre, 300 W. Center St., Cedar City, 435-586-7700, April 12-17, 7:30 p.m., suu.edu/pva Captain AmericanFORK Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through June 3, times vary, desertstar.biz Crazy For You: The New Gershwin Musical The Empress Theatre, 9104 W. Main, Magna, 801-347-7373, April 14-29; 2 & 7:30 p.m., empresstheatre.com Cutie and The Beast Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through April 22, 7:30 p.m., theobt.org Disney’s Aladdin Jr. Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-572-4144, through April 28, Friday-Saturday & selected Mondays, 7 p.m., drapertheatre.org Disney’s Beauty and the Beast The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855944-2787, April 14, 7:30 p.m., through May 20, theziegfeldtheater.com Hand to God Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through May 14, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 p.m. & 6 p.m., saltlakeactingcompany.org I Am My Own Wife Good Company Theatre, 260 25th St., Ogden, 801-564-0288, April 14-30; Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Saturday-Sunday, 4 p.m., goodcotheatre.com The Ice Front UMFA, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-6961, April 14-15; 2 & 7:30 p.m., pioneertheatre.org Lionel Bart’s Oliver Center Point Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, April 14-May 13; 2:30 & 7:30 p.m., centerpointtheatre.org The Lion King Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801-355-2787, through April 16, artsaltlake.org Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, 801-485-2497, April 13-14 & 20-21, 7:30 p.m.; April 15 & 22, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; April 23, 2 p.m., $10-$15, peopleproductions.org (see p. 17) To Kill a Mockingbird Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, April 15-May 22; 12:30, 4 & 7:30 p.m., hct.org The Two Noble Kinsmen Babcock Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-7100, April 13-16, 7:30 p.m.; April 15 matinee, 2 p.m., theatre.utah.edu

DANCE

Ballet West: Journeys and Reflections Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, through April 15, Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Wednesday, 7 p.m., balletwest.org Ririe-Woodbury Dance Co.: Spring Season Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801355-2787, April 13-15, 7:30 p.m.; April 15, 2 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see p. 17)

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Utah Symphony: Bronfman Plays Beethoven Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-3552787, April 14-15, 7:30 p.m., utahsymphony.org

Justin Chouinard manipulates 35 mm and 16 mm film into folded, torn images, with accompanying audio distortions, in the multimedia exhibition These Ribbons Are Substratum, through April 22 at Utah Museum of Contemporary Art’s A-I-R Space (20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, SLC, utahmoca.org).

COMEDY & IMPROV

Bert Kreischer Wiseguys, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, April 13-15, 7-9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com ImprovBroadway 496 N. 900 East, Provo, 909260-2509, Saturdays, 8 p.m., improvbroadway.com Improv Comedy Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 435-327-8273, Saturdays, 9:30 p.m., ogdencomedyloft.com Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., laughingstock.us Marcus and Guy Wiseguys, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, April 14-15, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Off the Wall Comedy Improv Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-5724144, Saturdays, 10:30 p.m., drapertheatre.org Open-Mic Night Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, every Wednesday, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Quick Wits Comedy 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-824-0523, Saturdays, 10 p.m., qwcomedy.com Sasquatch Cowboy The Comedy Loft, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 435-327-8273, Saturdays, 9:30 p.m., ogdencomedyloft.com Upright Citizens Brigade Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, April 14, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu (see p. 17)

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Carol Wilson: Stillness on Shaking Ground Barnes & Noble, 1104 E. 2100 South, 801-4632610, April 15, 1 p.m., barnesandnoble.com Dustin Steinacker: Writers of the Future Vol. 3 Barnes & Noble, 7157 Plaza Center Drive, West Jordan, 801-282-1324, April 15, 1 p.m., barnesandnoble.com


moreESSENTIALS

SPECIAL EVENTS TALKS & LECTURES

1 Million Cups Impact Hub, 150 S. State, Ste. 1, 385-202-6008, Wednesdays through June 14, 9 a.m., hubsaltlake.com Enemy Alien Internment Across America, Family History Library, 35 N. West Temple, 801364-8259, April 15, 3-5 p.m., utahculturalnews.com

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

WSU Luau Shepherd Union Atrium, 3910 W. Campus Drive, Ogden, April 14, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., weber.edu Thanksgiving Point’s 13th annual Tulip Festival The Ashton Gardens, 3900 Garden Drive, Lehi, 801-768-2300, through May 6, MondaySaturday, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; April 29, 10 a.m.-8 p.m., thanksgivingpoint.org (see p. 17)

FARMERS MARKETS

Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through April 22, Saturdays, 10 a.m.2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org

SEASONAL EVENTS

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Clean Comedy & Impressions

Tickets Selling Fast!

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Adrian Bangerter: Reflections Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through April 14, artatthemain.com Art Walk Sugar House, multiple locations, April 14, 6-9 p.m., sugarhouseartwalk.org Brent Godfrey: Observation A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 801-583-4800, through April 22, agalleryonline.com Celebration of the Hand 300 South (between 200 West & 200 East), 801-906-8521, through April 28, craftlakecity.com Ed Napia, Rad Cuch & Wahid Migoli Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Ste. 125, 801-328-0703, through April 14, accessart.org Embracing Diverse Voices: A Century of African-American Art BYU Museum of Art, N. Campus Drive, Provo, 801-422-8287, through April 29, moa.byu.edu Focus: Photography by Jessica Hernandez Sprague Library, 280 W. 500 North, 801-594-8680, through April 14, slcpl.org From the Heart: Expressions in Fiber Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South,

West Valley City, 801-965-5100, through April 26, culturalcelebration.org The Future Isn’t What It Used to Be UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 13, utahmoca.org Gary Jacobson: Some Thoughts UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 6, utahmoca.org Gemma Joon Bae: When I Called You By Name You Came to Me and Became a Flower Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, through May 25, slcpl.org Groundbreaking: Innovations in Clay Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435649-8882, through April 16, kimballartcenter.org Imagining UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801328-4201, through April 15, utahmoca.org James Stewart Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, April 17-May 13, 10a.m.7p.m., artatthemain.com Justin Chouinard: These Ribbons Are Substratum UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through April 22, utahmoca.org (see p. 20) Kendra Hitchcock: Ubiquitous Sprague Library, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through May 6, slcpl.org Liberty Blake: Paper Collage Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8284, through April 14, phillips-gallery.com Michael Workman: Helper Paintings David Ericson Fine Art, 418 S. 200 West, 801-5338245, through April 14, davidericson-fineart.com Off the Map Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Ste. 125, 801-328-0703, through April 14, accessart.org RE Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., 801-230-0820, through April 30, urbanartsgallery.org Rebecca Campbell Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through April 15, modernwestfineart.com Robotic: Drawings by Carter Johnson Day-Riverside Library, 1575 W. 1000 North, 801-594-8632, through April 29, slcpl.org Rod Heiss: Let Paint Be Paint Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-594-8623, through April 27, slcpl.org Rona Pondick & Robert Feintuch: Heads, hands, feet; sleeping, holding, dreaming, dying UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through July 15, utahmoca.org Sleeping Giants + Untold Tales: Paintings by Matt Monsoon Gallery at Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through April 14, slcpl.org SOS Save Our Seas: Mixed Media Artwork by Lori A. McPherson SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through April 14, slcpl.org Subject Abject Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7272, through May 12, heritage.utah.gov Utah At War SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through April 22, slcpl.org

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Neighborhood House Easter Egg Hunt & Carnival Neighborhood House Children’s Day Center, 1050 W. 500 South, April 13, 4:30 p.m., nhutah.org Payson Easter Egg Hunt Sports Complex, 800 S. Main, Payson, April 19, 9 a.m., paysonutah.org A Kid’s Place Dentistry annual Easter Egg Hunt Liberty Park, 900 S. 700 East, April 15, 9 a.m., dentalprosutah.com/a-kids-place

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ALL THE NEWS THAT WON’T FIT IN PRINT

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Friday June 23, 8pm

APRIL 13, 2017 | 21

Long-long-long-read Interviews With Local Bands, Comedians, Artists, Podcasters, Fashionistas And Other Creators Of Cool Stuff. Only On Cityweekly.net!


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22 | APRIL 13, 2017

G

TO THE GR EE

SUNDAY MUNCH

K!

E

E M T

DINE

Easter Feaster

Here’s where to get your bunny brunch on. OMELETTES | PANCAKES • GREEK SPECIALTIES

Lunch & Dinner

HOMEMADE SOUP • GREEK SPECIALS GREEK SALADS • HOT OR COLD SANDWICHES KABOBS • PASTA • FISH • STEAKS • CHOPS GREEK PLATTERS & GREEK DESSERTS

Beer & Wine

THE OTHER PLACE

RESTAURANT OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

MON - SAT 7AM - 11PM SUN 8AM - 10PM 469 EAST 300 SOUTH | 521-6567

BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @Critic1

S

ince I grew up in a not-very-religious family, Easter was always a bit puzzling to me. Hard-boiled eggs? Bunnies? Baskets? As a kid, I tend to remember it being sort of a sucky holiday. Christmas and birthdays ruled; Easter, not so much. Of course, once I got older and learned the biblical underpinnings, it made more sense—sort of. I’m still trying to figure out the eggs and rabbits. Well, like most holidays—and rightly so—Easter has become another occasion to feast. I don’t just mean colored eggs and fluorescent Peeps. More and more restaurants open for the special Sunday nowadays, and many offer festive menus, kids activities, live entertainment and the like. With a couple more days of planning to go, there’s still time to pick from any of these tempting options, strap on your best bonnet and paint the town pastel. I don’t know if there’s any precedent for it, but the idea of oysters on Easter sounds like a damn good one to me. Bambara (202 S. Main, SLC, 801-363-5454, bambara-slc.com) hosts its brunch from 10 a.m.-3 p.m., plus a special Easter evening from 5:30-8 p.m. The brunch features an oyster bar, carving station, made-to-order omelets, pastries and desserts, in addition to specialty cocktails. I’d show up just for oysters and the duck confit hash. At Caffé Niche (779 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-433-3380, caffeniche.com), Chef Andy Morrison’s focus is on farm-fresh foods, and that is true of his holiday brunch, as well. From 8 a.m.-3 p.m., guests can enjoy specials like his crab-and-avocado strata, wild mushroom scramble, carrot cheesecake with housemade ginger syrup and candied walnuts, mimosas, bloody marys and more. For added Sunday fun, play Adrian’s cocktail roulette: Adventurous guests select a spirit and are surprised with a custom-made, one-off cocktail. The brunch buffet at Finca (327 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-487-0699, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., fincaslc.com) features classic breakfast items, as well as Spanish-inspired dishes such as tortilla Española, seafood and meat paella, French toast with local infused vanilla-orange honey, and lots more temptations including housemade desserts. Over at The Gateway, Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar (20 S.

LITTLE ROCK PHOTO

Breakfast

400 West, SLC, 801-355-3704, He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows when f lem i n gsstea k house.com) offers a set-priced ($44.95) threeyou’re awake. Never mind, that’s the other creeper. course menu which includes an appetizer, entrée and dessert. Chef Dave Jones is also set to prepare a Among the many delightful options are special four-course luncheon at Log Halobster bisque, housemade burrata salad, ven (6451 E. Millcreek Canyon Road, SLC, cinnamon-apple brioche French toast, 801-272-8255, noon-5 p.m., log-haven.com). California-style steak-and-eggs, Ora King Menu choices include New York “Manhatsalmon salad and crème brulée—not to tan” cut steak, roast leg of lamb, fontina mention featured cocktails like the bacon- arancini, spring asparagus soup, baby pea and-blue cheese bloody mary. risotto, lemon-pressed Tecumseh Farms Ogdenites might want to scoot over to chicken breast and grilled swordfish. Hearth (195 25th St., Ogden, 801-399-0088, Weather permitting, Oasis Café (151 S. 500 hearth25.com) for 10 a.m.-1 p.m. brunch— East, SLC, 801-322-0404, oasiscafeslc.com) especially if you’re looking for a not-so- celebrates with a unique brunch out on traditional option. The menu boasts beef their lovely courtyard patio from 9 a.m.tartare, burrata, pear-and-goat-cheese 3:30 p.m., including items such as a prime salad, espresso-rubbed elk and eggs, saf- rib carving station, cheese blintzes, crab fron salmon, Scotch eggs Benedict, bacon- cakes with mango salsa, a selection of salGruyère breakfast pie and desserts. Now ads, pastries and desserts, plus a chocolate that’s my kind of feast. fountain for the kids. Well, OK, adults can To describe the Easter brunch buffet at frolic in the fountain as well. J&G Grill (2300 Deer Valley Drive East, At Deer Valley’s Stein Eriksen Lodge Park City, 435-940-5760, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., (7700 Stein Way, Park City, 435-645-6455, jggrilldeercrest.com) as lavish is a vast steinlodge.com), Easter activities abound understatement. The St. Regis restaurant this year. There’s an egg hunt in the Lodge offers items such as char-grilled wagyu tri- with candy, toys and special surprises; a tip, caprese eggs Benedict, smoked salmon petting zoo with an adorable lineup of baby rillettes, paté, lavender-scented French animals on the lawn; and then brunch at the toast with blueberries, golden beet and or- Glitretind restaurant from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. ange salad with arugula and fresh ricotta, I probably don’t need to go into the minutisautéed baby squash and mushrooms, and ae of Chef Zane Holmquist’s bodacious cresmoked cheddar potato gratin—just for ations at Stein’s—they're literally worldstarters. A kids’ egg hunt takes place on the renowned. And for Easter, it gets even slopes from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. better. ’Nuff said. Kimi Eklund is pulling out all the stops One of the lovelier spots to enjoy for her brunch at Kimi’s Chop and Oyster springtime brunch is at Mark Eaton’s House (2155 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801- Tuscany (2832 E. 6200 South, SLC, 801946-2079, kimishouse.com) with a smörgas- 277-9919, tuscanyslc.com)—especially out bord of items ranging from Swedish caviar on the gorgeous patio and courtyard. From eggs, spicy shrimp ceviche and mini quiche 10 a.m.-2 p.m., enjoy an omelet bar and muffins, to roasted prime rib, herb-crusted waffle station for custom-made breakfast-y leg of lamb and poached salmon with herb delights, plus honey-glazed ham, carved crème. And that just barely scratches the prime rib, a seafood bar, salads and surface of Eklund’s holiday gifts. housemade pastries. CW


Contemporary Japanese Dining

18 MARKET STREET • 801.519.9595

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Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 BRING THE FAMILY UP EMIGRATION CANYON THIS WINTER

-Creekside Patio -87 Years and Going Strong -Breakfast served daily until 4pm -Delicious Mimosas & Bloody Marys -Gift Cards for sale in diner or online 4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

FOOD MATTERS BY TED SCHEFFLER @Critic1

CHELSEA NELSON

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Taste Tix

Taste of the Wasatch doesn’t take place until Sunday, Aug. 6. However, it’s never too early to get your tickets for this immensely popular charity event, since the yearly food and drink extravaganza is bound to be a sellout. By purchasing tickets before May 1, you'll be in the running to win a stay at Solitude Resort that weekend. Hosted by the resort and co-sponsored by Nicholas & Co., Taste of the Wasatch features dozens of chefs and restaurants, wine, beer and other beverages, live entertainment, silent and live auctions and much more. Proceeds benefit local nonprofits working to fight hunger and food insecurity issues in our communities. To purchase tickets— a portion of which is tax-deductible—visit tasteofthewasatch.org.

2991 E. 3300 S. | 385.528.0181

A Proper Anniversary

Avenues Proper (376 Eighth Ave., SLC, 385-227-8628, avenuesproper.com) turns 4 years old this month, and the restaurant is celebrating with an anniversary dinner on Sunday, April 30, starting at 6 p.m. Guests can expect a lineup of some of Proper’s favorite beers brewed on their original in-house five-barrel system, including this year’s release of the Avenues Annual Kettle-Soured Saison. The menu features dishes such as confit melon soup, steamed sable fish and three-way rabbit paired with Freaky Deaky Dutch Kuyt Oat Ale, Avenues Annual Saison, Ostara Triple IPA, Gruit Belgian Dubbel and Chai Hulud Saison. There’s even an interesting intermezzo of Gose with JellO shots. The cost per-person is $75 for food and $20 for the optional beer pairings. Reservations are required and can be made by calling Avenues Proper.

Award Winning Donuts

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

SALT LAKE'S AWARD WINNING INDIAN CUISINE since 1990

RESERVE OUR BANQUET HALL FOR YOUR EVENT!

Riverhorse Brunch

Riverhorse on Main (540 Main, 435-6493536, riverhorseparkcity.com) in Park City serves up brunch this Easter Sunday and then picks up again, after a spring hiatus, with weekly Sunday brunch beginning May 14. From 10:30 a.m.-4 p.m., patrons can dig into entrées like cheddar-cheese biscuits and gravy, smoked salmon scramble, seafood Cobb salad, shrimp-and-cheddar grits, huevos rancheros and much more. Quote of the week: “I live on soup, not on fine words.” —Molière

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Easter Cocktails & Mocktails

Springtime libations guaranteed to make your bunny hop. BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @Critic1

I

is an excellent non-alcoholic refresher that will appeal to both kids and adults. To make a blackberry-lemon mocktail, begin by mashing a 1/2 cup of fresh blackberries with a 1/4 cup of sugar in a small sauce pan to break the berries down into pieces. Add 1 cup of water and a 1/2 cup of lemonade and bring to a simmer. Cook over medium-low heat for 10 minutes. Strain the liquid into a container and add the juice of 1 lemon. Refrigerate; once the fruit liquid has cooled, divide it into four glasses filled with ice cubes. Top each glass with club soda or seltzer and mix. Garnish with lemon slices, mint leaves and whole blackberries. I really like this simple (almost healthy) Buzzed Bunny Easter Cocktail from the website gigglesgobblesandgulps.com. Into a shaker with ice, grate 1 small piece of fresh ginger root. Add 1 ounce of sweetened pineapple juice, 3 ounces of fresh carrot juice, the juice from 1/2 a lemon, and 1 ½ ounces of gin (try local Beehive Distilling Jack Rabbit Gin). Shake vigorously and strain over ice into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a mint sprig and lemon slice. Ever tried St-Germain? Each bottle is individually numbered and reflects the year (or “vintage”) that the elderflower blossoms used to make it were picked in the French Alps. This gorgeous-tasting liqueur is one of my absolute favorites. A very simple but delicious drink for your Easter

DRINK outing is the Left Bank Martini. Into a cocktail shaker with ice, pour 1 ½ shots of gin, 1 shot of St-Germain and 1 shot of sauvignon blanc. Shake, strain into a chilled martini glass, garnish with a lime zest twist and toast to your good taste. Another of my favorite springtime sippers comes courtesy of the folks at Tommy Bahama Rum. It’s called the Velvet Rosa, and it’s as tasty and lovely as it sounds. Pour the following into a shaker with ice: 2/3 part Tommy Bahama White Sand Rum (or your favorite white rum, such as local distillers Dented Brick, Outlaw, Distillery 36 or Sugar House), 1/3 part peach schnapps and 1 part cranberry juice. Shake and strain into a chilled Champagne flute. Top off the drink with Champagne, Prosecco, cava or other sparkling wine. Garnish with a small, delicate flower, if you wish. This cucumber-and-mint fauxjito is a refreshing, non-

alcoholic take on the mojito that both adults and kids can enjoy. In a cocktail shaker, muddle together 6 thin slices of English cucumber with 6 large mint leaves. Once muddled, add 2 ounces of fresh lime juice and a 1/2 ounce of agave nectar; fill with ice and shake well. Strain into an ice-filled Collins glass, add 4 ounces of club soda, stir and garnish with a cucumber slice and sprig of mint. Ready for the punchline? Here is a very easy, pleasing Champagne punch recipe that you could modify to suit your tastes. In a large bowl, pour 1 bottle of chilled sparkling wine like Champagne, cava, prosecco, etc. (or use fruitflavored sparkling wine). Slowly (so it doesn’t fizz up too much) stir in 3 cups of cold ginger ale and 2 tablespoons of orange liqueur (such as Triple Sec). Garnish with fresh basil leaves and a couple handfuls of frozen cranberries, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries or a combination. Add some ice to the bowl and serve. CW

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n recent years, Easter has become a popular brunch holiday when we gather with friends and family to enjoy food and drink and the promise of warmer weather. Given that it's also synonymous with spring, we should look toward lighter, fresh-tasting libations for the holiday meals. Here are some great cocktails and mocktails that are perfect for springtime sipping. The colorful holiday often involves egg hunts and kids, so let’s not leave out those who are not yet of legal drinking age. Here

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

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APRIL 13, 2017 | 25


GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Amour Café

This quaint café near Liberty Park comes to us from John and Casee Francis, the owners/founders of Amour Spreads, which makes award-winning jams and marmalades. And the espresso beverages, in-house baked pastries, small plates, breakfast items, gelato and more—all made with fresh, seasonal ingredients—are just as praise-worthy. Need more motivation to visit? How about this: Pastry and dessert chef Amber Billingsley is in charge of the kitchen. 1329 S. 500 East, amourslc.com

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Copper Kitchen

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The newest venture from Ryan Lowder (owner/chef of downtown’s Copper Onion and Copper Common) is in the shiny new Holladay Village Plaza alongside new iterations of other locally owned restaurants and retail shops. Copper Kitchen in Salt Lake City has a boisterous brasserie feel to it—a big, bustling eatery featuring the type of cuisine that has garnered so many fans of Lowder’s other restaurants: steak frites, braised lamb shank, duck confit croquettes, beef bourguignon and noodles and lots more. 4640 S. 2300 East, 385-237-3159, copperkitchenslc.com

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Followers of Chef Nick Watts’ Chedda Truck, which he took to the streets of Salt Lake City in 2012, should be thrilled to know there’s now a full-blown restaurant. Watts’ fresh-ground, 100-percent natural Angus beef burgers are intended for the adventurous, with options like the “Silly Round Eye” (beef, pastrami, Swiss cheese, kimchi and fry sauce) or the “Kill Me Softly” (beef patty with blue cheese, bacon, arugula and cranberry sauce served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut). Those with more cautious palates will like the “Old Faithful”: a just-greasy-enough beef patty with classic cheddar cheese, caramelized onions, ripe tomato slices, green leaf lettuce and fry sauce. 26 E. 600 South, 801-906-8779, cheddawasted.com

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BREAKFAST and LUNCH

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Chef/owner Michael Richey’s new restaurant specializes in wood-fired pizzas, housemade pastas and an eclectic array of sharable plates called “Urban Picnic” items. A great place to start is with a quartet of Richey’s caviar pillows—airy but crisp taro and potato puffs topped with American sturgeon caviar, crème fraiche and minced chives. The silky house-pulled mozzarella dish is delectable with thin-sliced zucchini rounds, bathed in a purée of basil, zucchini and parsley, sprinkled with minced chives and crunchy olive tapenade. The kitchen is equipped with an imported Italian pasta extruder, which produces fresh noodles with tremendous taste and texture; try the bucatini with rabbit, tossed in just enough sage and garlic cream sauce to flavor the thick bucatini pasta without burying it. The menu typically lists five pizza choices; this is not a “create your own” pizza joint. To get the best sense of the amazing housemade crust, order the Milk Run—essentially a Margherita pizza, with nothing more than tomato sauce, house-pulled mozzarella and basil. For something less typical but equally delicious, order the Tuscarora topped with crisp sunchoke pieces, fingerling potato, pancetta and housemade ricotta and mozzarella. Reviewed March 23. 126 S. Regent St., 801-359-4011, firesideonregent.com

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28 | APRIL 13, 2017

FILM REVIEW

Kid Stuff

CINEMA

A lovely child performance anchors the satisfying family drama of Gifted. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

FOX SEARCHLIGHT

I

f you’re going to make a movie with a cute kid, you’re going to make it easy for a lot of people to love your movie. You’re also going to make it easy for a lot of people to hate it. Film history is packed with precociously adorable children who made a splash, from Shirley Temple and Jackie Cooper to Drew Barrymore and Macaulay Culkin, and they’ve proven a reliable way to give viewers—as the kids say these days—all the feels. But the moppet-based movie also is fraught with peril. What if “cute” crosses the line into “irritating?” What if the story builds so much around the youngster that it’s hard to find anything for grown-ups? By making a young character preternaturally adult-like, are you avoiding the work of figuring out what a kid is really like? Gifted, directed by Marc Webb from a script by Tom Flynn, manages to dodge most of the pitfalls, largely by finding the right kid for the job. Mckenna Grace plays Mary Adler, a 7-year-old math prodigy who has been raised by her uncle, Frank (Chris Evans), since Mary’s mother—herself a brilliant mathematician—committed suicide when Mary was an infant. Frank wants to find a way for Mary to be a normal kid, sending her to school for the first time in first grade, but Mary struggles to fit in with her chronological peers. And when Frank’s mother Evelyn (Lindsay Duncan) appears, meeting her granddaughter for the first time and insisting that she get the advanced tutoring to nurture her gifts, it appears that Frank might have to fight even harder to keep her in that “normal” life. If there’s a major sticking point in Gifted, it’s in the character of Evelyn, and her role as the film’s primary antagonist. A haughty academia-trained Brit who disdains the life chosen by Frank—he repairs boat engines in south Florida—she feels like a daytime soap-opera version of the manipula-

tive doyenne, with her acidic asides about Frank’s working-class living conditions. There’s some potentially intriguing psychology tangled up in the character, whose own aspirations in scholarship were sidetracked by family life, which could have made for a great thorny dynamic between Frank and Evelyn. Instead, Flynn’s script seems mostly interested in creating a melodramatic villain whose awfulness is exaggerated even by the way she treats pets. It’s fortunate, then, that Evans is around to provide a more earthbound balance in that relationship. The erstwhile Captain America deserves more credit for the soulfulness of his acting, and Gifted gives him opportunities both dramatic and comedic to wrestle with Frank’s uncertainty over whether he can do right by Mary. Frank’s relationship with Mary’s first-grade teacher (Jenny Slate) might be of the purely functional variety, but there’s an easy chemistry between them that makes it more of a shame when Slate all but disappears from the film at around the halfway mark. Evans, however, continues to provide the steadying influence that keeps Gifted feeling real, even as the narrative comes to focus on a courtroom custody battle with all of the accompanying “and isn’t it true?” moments. The real star here, however, is Mckenna Grace, who does everything right with a role that’s not an easy sell. Mary could come off as obnoxiously un-kid-like, particularly in the early scenes where she struggles to

Mckenna Grace and Chris Evans in Gifted.

fit into her new classroom, and Webb does play a couple of these moments for broad punch lines. But Grace brings a radiant nofront-teeth smile to the performance, and surprisingly sharp comedic timing. There’s just as much conviction in her giddy reaction to visiting a hospital maternity ward as there is in her wrenching despair at the prospect of being taken away from Frank. Flynn’s script isn’t really prepared to dig into the potential life consequences of being curried for “specialness,” and Webb’s frequent use of jittery hand-held camerawork aims for a street-level grittiness that’s just not there in the material. As family drama, on the other hand, Gifted delivers a satisfying emotional payoff. That’s all thanks to a convincing interplay between Evans and Grace, and the kind of child performance that makes you want nothing but the best for her, too. CW

GIFTED

BBB Chris Evans Mckenna Grace Lindsay Duncan Rated PG-13

TRY THESE Little Man Tate (1991) Jodie Foster Adam Hann-Byrd Rated PG

Vitus (2007) Teo Gheorghiu Bruno Ganz Rated PG

(500) Days of Summer (2009) Joseph GordonLevitt Zooey Deschanel Rated PG-13

Snowpiercer (2013) Chris Evans Jamie Bell Rated R


CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. COLOSSAL BBB There’s goofy high-concept, and then there’s goofy high-concept mixed with goofy allegory—yet somehow it mostly works here. Anne Hathaway plays Gloria, an alcoholic writer who gets kicked out of her New York apartment by her fed-up boyfriend, and retreats to her upstate hometown, where she reconnects with an old schoolmate named Oscar (Jason Sudeikis). Oh, and she eventually figures out that she controls a giant monster that appears in the middle of Seoul, South Korea. Writer/director Nacho Vigalondo finds plenty of weird humor in the improbable scenario—like local citizens reacting to events half a world away— and manages to navigate through several tonal shifts. Mostly, however, he’s trying to craft a story about people who do (or don’t) figure out how to take responsibility for the damage their actions leave in their wake. Vigalondo might never quite figure out the pacing that would allow his climax to feel truly resonant rather than weird and jarring, but maybe it’s OK to make a film about dysfunctional relationships that just happens to be a kaiju movie in its spare time. Opens April 14 at Tower Theatre. (R)—Scott Renshaw

SPECIAL SCREENINGS RANCHER, FARMER, FISHERMAN At Main Library, April 18, 7 p.m. (NR) THE SALESMAN At Park City Film Series, April 15-16, 8 p.m.; April 17, 6 p.m. (PG-13)

CURRENT RELEASES GOING IN STYLE BB.5 It exists solely as an excuse to watch Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin perform together—but you do get to watch them perform together as three financially strapped octogenarians plotting a bank heist. Director Zach Braff tries to add a timely punch of working-class anger at Big Finance, which feels like an odd fit for the mostly frivolous caper. And the biggest laughs rest on the supporting shoulders of Josh Pais, Christopher Lloyd and Kenan Thompson. Caine, Freeman and Arkin get relatively little interesting to do, but they find an easy chemistry in that way that savvy veterans can make something out of nothing. It rolls pleasantly and unsurprisingly, a comfortable curtain-call moment for actors who probably deserve better. (PG-13)—SR LAND OF MINE B.5 The title refers both to somebody feeling possessive about his land and about land mines—and if you expect it to get any subtler, you’re in for a long 100 minutes. In May 1945, Danish army captain Carl

SMURFS: THE LOST VILLAGE B A Smurfs movie franchise began only in 2011, and it’s being rebooted already? This pure-dumb all-cartoon entry follows Smurfette (Demi Lovato) into the “Forbidden Forest” to find a legendary lost Smurf village and discover her “purpose” as sole woman in a world full of men. Even with this overt attempt at feminism, she still ends up a damsel in distress who needs rescuing, and still hikes through the forest in impractical heels. Arrival in said lost village—similar to the psychedelic trippyness of Trolls—quickly descends into an even more head-scratching idea of feminism that puts Smurfette on a pedestal and excuses the one-note nature of her male compatriots. She “can’t be defined by just one word,” but they can? Not a good message for the little ones. (PG)—MaryAnn Johanson YOUR NAME BB.5 It might be easier to figure out how good Makoto Shinkai’s movie is, if it were easier to figure out what kind of movie it is. Initially, it plays out as body-swap comedy à la Freaky Friday, as students Mitsuha (Mone Kamishiraishi) and Taki (Ryûnosuke Kamiki) wake up sporadically in one another’s lives. Wackiness ensues, including the kind of second-act musical montage you’d expect from the live-action equivalent. Then the narrative takes a dark turn, and the comedy disappears into a sometimes confounding mix of timetravel, romance and disaster movie. Shinkai seems to be reaching for profundity about connections transcending space and time, and crafts some lovely moments in the process. He simply takes the crazier parts of his story too seriously for something that begins with someone incredulously squeezing his/her own boobs. (PG)—SR

GIFTED BBB See review on p. 28. Opens April 12 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

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FILM • FOOD • NEIGHBORHOOD BAR SHOWING: APRIL 14TH - APRIL 20TH

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FRANTZ BBB François Ozon begins with psychological mystery, then bends it into an intriguingly complex look at nationalism. In a small German town circa 1919, Anna (Paula Beer) still mourns Frantz, the fiancé she lost in the Great War. At his grave, she finds French soldier Adrien (Pierre Niney), who has his own history with Frantz. Ozon gets clunky with his symbolism, including the elbow-nudge of the Frantz/France homophone. But while it initially appears that the narrative will build to revealing the nature of Adrien’s relationship to Frantz, Ozon drops that bombshell only half-way through, allowing the story then to evolve into a study of survivor guilt and uncertainty about how to move on, tangled up in an exploration of how the villains of a war are only obvious depending on where you’re standing. Strong performances by Beer and Niney give Frantz the humanism it needs to push through the director’s occasional heavy hand. Opens April 14 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—SR

TOMMY’S HONOUR [not yet reviewed] Fact-based story of the 19th-century father and son (Peter Mullan and Jack Lowden) who pioneered golf in Scotland. Opens April 14 at Megaplex Gateway and Megaplex Jordan Commons. (PG)

Rasmussen (Roland Møller) commands a group of formerly occupying German soldiers in the dangerous work of defusing German land mines on Danish beaches. It would be irritating enough if Rasmussen’s narrative arc—gradually seeing the Germans as deserving of respect—were the only by-the-numbers thing going on, but this is a story built around the tension of men engaged in a task where death might come at any moment, except that it’s excruciatingly clear exactly when somebody will get blown up. You couldn’t wring less anxiety out of this premise if you tried. (R)—SR

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THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS [not yet reviewed] Something something family something something VROOM VROOM. Opens April 14 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPARK: A SPACE TAIL [not yet reviewed] An animated space monkey tries to save the universe, like you do. Opens April 14 at theaters valleywide. (PG)


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| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

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0 | APRIL 13, 2017

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Robot Roll Call!

TV

Go! So ... No.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 returns; Fargo spins another frozen fable. Mystery Science Theater 3000 Friday, April 14 (Netflix)

Season Premiere: While MST3K O.G.s Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett continue their movie-mockery biz at a staggering pace with Riff Trax, Mystery Science Theater 3000 proper still is missed. Netflix, proving that not all popcultural reboots are heinous abominations, picked up the 1988-99 series after creator Joel Hodgson sparked a revival firestorm via Kickstarter. Hodgson has also recast the show, with comedian Jonah Ray as the new astro-host on the Satellite of Love, as well as new ’bot voices (Hampton Yount and Baron Vaughn as Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, respectively), and Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt as MST3K’s new “Mads.” Exactly which cinematic disasterpieces the crew will be viewing and skewering in these 14 fresh episodes currently are unknown, but who cares? New MST3K!

Doctor Who Saturday, April 15 (BBC America)

Season Premiere: After Series 10—that’s U.K. for Season 10—latest Doctor Peter Capaldi is outta here. For his final go-round of 12 episodes, Capaldi is joined by a new companion, Bill Potts (Pearl Mackie), while Nardole (Matt Lucas) and Missy (Michelle Gomez) are still around, as are those steel salt-shakers of evil, the Daleks. With Capaldi set to exit Doctor Who after the 2017 Christmas episode, the question of “Who’s going to be the next Doctor?” has dug up a whole lotta British actors you’ve never heard of, but also a few intriguing U.S.-known quantities: Former Agent Carter Hayley Atwell, Supergirl’s David Harewood and The IT Crowd’s Richard Ayoade. After 50-plus years of white guys in the lead, could we finally get a female or black Doctor? Nah, it’ll probably be a ginger.

The Leftovers Sunday, April 16 (HBO)

Season Premiere: Now that Rectify is done, The Leftovers could claim the Most Depressing Show on TV crown—or at least battle it out with Mama June: From Not to Hot. While the existential drama—about those left behind after a seeming Rapture took 140 million from the planet, if you recall—did

lighten up in Season 2, there’s still plenty to ennui-on about in this third and final run: The seventh anniversary of the event is looming; the pesky Guilty Remnant cult has invaded Kevin’s (Justin Theroux) new Miracle, Texas, hometown; Kevin Sr. (Scott Glenn) is searching for an apocalypse-stopper in Australia; and creator/producer Damon Lindelof has asked the “Critical Community” to not spoil anything else. Fine. Except for this: Australia does not exist. (Look it up!)

Veep Sunday, April 16 (HBO)

Season Premiere: In these stoopid political times, the phrase “Now, more than ever” gets tossed around frequently in regard to art-imitates-life shows like House of Cards, The Man in the High Castle—hell, maybe even The Last Man on Earth (which was the first series to “kill off” the Trump administration, after all). But it’s modern comedy treasure Veep that will carry the burden of detracting from real politics, and Season 6 continues to go gloriously blue while largely ignoring the New Orange Order. Ex-President Selina Meyer (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) might be out to heal the world in public, but she’s out for private, personal vengeance against old pains-in-the-ass like now-Congressman Jonah Ryan (Timothy Simons): “I want to let you know that I will destroy you in ways that are so creative, they’ll honor me for it at the Kennedy Center.” Now, more than ever.

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Fargo Wednesday, April 19 (FX)

Season Premiere: It’s been a while—16 months since the end of Season 2, give or take—but Fargo has earned its Game of Thrones-esque lag time. Season 3 is set in 2010, and concerns the soon-to-be criminal misadventures of “The Parking Lot King of Minnesota,” Ray Stussy (Ewan McGregor), his bridge-loving parolee girlfriend, Nikki Swango (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and Ray’s loser brother, Emmit (also MacGregor). On opposite lawful sides of this motely trio of hilarious clothes and hair are this season’s Endearing Cop, Gloria Burgle (Carrie Coon), and Greasy Villain, V.M. Vargas (David Thewlis). It’s another taut tale of small-town good vs. evil vs. dim and, since Fargo is an anthology with no obligation to keep characters around for next season, anyone could meet their bloody end at any time. Yes, even Gloria’s doughy deputy (doughy Jim Gaffigan).

Listen to Bill Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.


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w/ Bleached Tuesday, April 18, 8 p.m. The Depot 400 W. South Temple 801-355-5522 $23 presale; $30 day of show ($2 surcharge for under 21) All ages

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THE DAMNED 40TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR

$1,100! CASH POT!

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Damned. Originally released on the storied Stiff label in 1977, it was reissued in a deluxe 30th anniversary edition by Castle in 2007. To mark the band’s 40th, the record—incidentally, the very first British punk album—has been remastered and reissued on vinyl, CD and digital by BMG as part of their Art of the Album series. The group—of which Burns and Vanian are the only remaining original members—performs it in its entirety on this tour, along with selections spanning much of their 10-album discography. Most of which, of course, is in the soft-focus of the past. Isn’t there no time like the present? The reissue and the tour would say so, since they provide a chance to delight old-school fans and court young ones. Burns’ teenage daughter, however, remains unimpressed with her dad, even if he’s punk royalty. “She used to say, ‘Dad, when you pick me up from school today, don’t wear your stage clothes. It’s getting me in a lot of trouble. Everyone’s laughin’ at me.’” Burns says fame isn’t what the last four decades were about, anyway. “The whole thing about punk rock is there’s no styles; we’re the same as the audience,” he muses. “We’re often to be seen mingling with the audience in the bar before the show, gratefully accepting drinks. The great thing about punk rock is anyone can do it. Instead of paying to see the Sex Pistols or Green Day or The Damned or The Stranglers—do it yourself. What punk rock basically says is, ‘Make somethin’ of yourself.’” CW

YOU CAN’T WIN, IF YOU DON’T PLAY

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ouring is such a blur,” Captain Sensible says. That’s what every band says—because it’s true, and increasingly more so as the miles, shows and years fly by. The guitarist and his band, legendary English punk-rockers The Damned, have four decades of touring under their studded belts. How do you celebrate 40 years of that? By doing it some more. Sensible—born Raymond Ian Burns— requested a Skype interview. Such are the benefits of 21st-century tech: talking face-to-face across long distances without long-distance charges. On blind phone interviews, you can glean details about the interviewee from sounds: their words, cadence and quality of speech, background noises. Actually getting a glimpse of them in their private residence is incredible access, especially when you’re speaking to a legend. Burns, 62, sits at a desk, looking fairly normal. He lacks his trademark red beret, and rectangular eyeglasses supplant his ostensibly omnipresent shades, but he does wear his red jersey with black horizontal stripes. Like ordinary folk, he frames himself in a vertical sliver, forgetting video is meant to be viewed in landscape. Then again, you don’t become a punk legend by kowtowing to convention; you play loud and fast, wear mismatched clothing, defy authority. Recalling a past visit to Salt Lake City, where he was told he couldn’t drink on the street, Burns says, “I’m a confirmed yobbo, so I didn’t like that rule much.” Yobbo is British slang for words like “ruffian” or “hooligan.” Speaking calmly with lotsa glottal stops, Burns explains further. He didn’t learn much in school, and didn’t fancy doing a normal job for the rest of his life. “I was a toilet cleaner when punk rock saved me from a life of drudgery,” he says. “This is a lot better. There’s a lot of travelin’ involved, but all the beer’s free. I like that a lot.” Burns’ stage name is ironic for a yobbo. Although he’s heard the question innumerable times, and the information is certainly online somewhere, he doesn’t mind explaining it. Prefacing the story by expressing gratitude at being able to play guitar in exchange for money and beer, he says he made a point to drain every bottle—so you can imagine the effect. One day, while crossing the French border, Burns was “in a bit of a state”—piss-drunk, hair matted with two eggs someone cracked over his head at breakfast. Members of the band’s entourage complained that Burns’ behavior would irk customs agents and land them in prison. “Someone said, ‘You’ve got a right bloody Captain Sensible, there,’” he recalls. Like the eggs, the name stuck. “It’s good for a punk rocker to have an outlandish name, innit?” Burns says. “That’s my advice to anyone out there who wants to twang a guitar for a living—just give yourself an amazingly daft name. It worked for me.” That gives short shrift to Burns’ accomplishments with The Damned, which he co-founded with singer Dave Vanian and drummer Rat Scabies in 1976. The band developed a loyal following from their first album, the Nick Lowe-produced Damned Damned


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New Expanded Hours for Rye: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm Friday and Sunday from 6pm-11pm

Free ticket Tuesday at Rye! 1 entree = 1 ticket at Urban Lounge (while supplies last) www.ryeslc.com

APR 13: KRCL PRESENTS 8PM DOORS

REAL ESTATE MARY LATTIMORE TRIBUTE NIGHT THE BULLY

SYN.AESTHETIC HANDZ 8 PM DOORS

APR 18: BITCHIN 8PM DOORS

JOSEPH MICHAEL PEDERSEN SARAH LITTLE DRUM THE SPIRAL JETTIES

APR 19: QUIET OAKS TOUR SENDOFF

8PM DOORS

PANTHERMILK HARD TIMES

APR 20: NETWORK AFTER 6PM DOORS EARLY SHOW

WORK PARTY

APR 20: SLUG LOCALIZED 9PM DOORS FREE SHOW

BRAIN BAGZ HOT VODKA SEASON OF THE WITCH

APR 21: SCENIC BYWAY 8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

HEAVY DOSE TBA

APR 22: ALT NATION’S ADVANCED 8PM DOORS

PLACEMENT TOUR

MISSION 888 COAST MODERN

COMING SOON Apr 24: Betty Who Apr 25: Devin The Dude Apr 26: Tim Kasher

Apr 27: Love & Hustle Apr 28: James McCartney Apr 28: Sadistik

ike most of Cat Leavy’s fans, I became acquainted with her through New Shack—her collaboration with Eric Robertson. Not too long ago, I was jamming to the duo’s 2016 self-released Eingang EP while extolling its virtues for City Weekly’s local music issue. Now, in what can only be explained as music-geek serendipity, I’ve stumbled upon yet another reason to admire Leavy. Back in mid-March, she released the song “Red James” via Bandcamp. It’s an explosive introduction to Madge, Leavy’s upcoming solo project. “Red James” is one of those debuts that demands your immediate attention—a pure jolt of effervescent electropop that draws wattage from the work of Matt & Kim and Broken Social Scene. Not only is it one of the most impressive musical debuts to come out of Provo, but the fact that Leavy wrote, recorded, produced and mixed the song herself is enough to turn it into an anthemic herald of a new, female-driven era of local music production. “I was raised doing competitive piano, but it was pretty intense,” Leavy says in a telephone interview. “I actually burned out on that as a teenager and swore off music entirely.” She rediscovered her musical side while pursuing a master’s degree in art theory. Initially exploring music as a hobby, she connected with Robertson. “When I met Eric, I was writing a lot of songs but never planned on singing them,” she says. “He really encouraged me to sing more.” Since meeting, New Shack has recorded two well-received albums and built a strong

SHELLY ROSE

APR 15: PHUTUREPRIMITIVE

FREE SHOW

New Shack’s Cat Leavy goes solo but continues to work for and with others.

L

THE HOUND MYSTIC BEACHMEN THE BOYS RANCH COOL BANANA 8 PM DOORS

8PM DOORS

Mad Madge BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

APR 14: THE BEATLES

8PM DOORS

MUSIC

following. This led to an invitation from the Ogden Twilight Concert Series to open for Miike Snow’s upcoming performance on June 29. Now Leavy is becoming a bit of a musical powerhouse: In addition to working on New Shack and Madge, she also coowns and operates Bone Shack Studios with her partner, Chris Bennion of synthpop duo Coral Bones. Currently, they split their time between recording other artists and doing licensing work for TV and commercials. Opening a music studio has also given Leavy the opportunity to position Bone Shack as a safe haven for the more ostracized communities in the music industry. “I really enjoy working with female and non-binary artists and I think the LGBTQ, female and non-binary scene in Utah needs support and a safe space,” she says. Like Stephen Cope of Studio Dada, she says her goal is to work with more underrepresented local artists. With this foothold in the local music community, Leavy helped activist and musician Dylan Lewman (aka DeelanZ) organize the upcoming Divinity Concert on April 14, which will raise money for Planned Parenthood—though New Shack had to cancel their appearance for personal reasons.

Cat Leavy

Leavy’s solo work with Madge emphasizes being an independent female artist and producer. “The most recent statistic I read said that the number of successful female producers in the U.S. right now is so low that it’s statistically immeasurable,” she says. “As a woman working in the music industry, it was important to do something on the production, audio engineering and mixing side.” She is quick to share the credit with artists like Salt Lake’s Bobo, aka Kari Jørgensen, who came to Salt Lake’s Hel Audio to master her album Smoke in the Elevator, which she recorded and mixed herself. “Her music is fantastic,” Leavy says. Thus far, Leavy’s work as a musician is a positive and empowering example of how the marginalized communities within the recording industry can step up to write, perform, record and produce their own music—and so far, it sounds great. “I’m excited to be in that club,” she says. “As women, we’re socialized to be submissive. I hope I can help other female and non-binary artists to do this. There’s a lot against you, but there’s nothing stopping you.” CW

day n o M s ’ e i Grac

Session

z The Jaz ay and id ll a H David Quartet. w/ Host Vespers sit-in ians to ic s u m l ca ge for lo e band! Open sta th h it w :00pm 0pm-10 :0 7 | y 21+ onda Every M er | Gracie’s is v o C No

Join us for dinner and drinks. Relax on our award winning, heated/misted patio and deck with a seasonally inspired cocktail, an ice cold beer or choose from our extensive wine and spirits selection. Take in a game of pool, shuffleboard or corn hole. Watch the game on one of our 40+ Full HD TV’s, listen to live music, cut the rug on the dance floor or belly up to the bar for intelligent drinks and strong conversation. There is something for everyone here at Gracie’s Gastropub. Open 365 days a year.

326 W TEMPLE | IN THE HEART OF DOWNTOWN | GRACIESSLC.COM


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APRIL 13, 2017 | 33


LIVE

SHAWN BRACKBILL

BY KIMBALL BENNION, RANDY HARWARD & BRIAN STAKER

THURSDAY 4/13

Real Estate, Mary Lattimore

This is not Sunny Day Real Estate but, in their own way, this New Jersey band is as tuneful as that ’90s not-Nirvana outfit. They also apparently can’t get you a good deal on a three-bedroom rambler or, as the swanky hand-written signs on traffic islands say, help you earn up to $100K a year selling their namesake. And for a band from the land of Springsteen, mobsters and self-made Oompa-Loompas, this ensemble is of a more English mien. First, there’s the absurd humor of a horse just chilling on the soundstage, not the least bit spooked by the cameras, lights or lip-syncing band members in the video for the “Darling”—the first single from their new album In Mind (Domino Records). They even give their temporary equine

DJ Quik

JUDCHUKS VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

34 | APRIL 13, 2017

bandmate acting credit, under the stage name “Like No Other aka Moose.” Also, in the video, they all wear blue shop-class coats, a unity in apparel that’s a nod to the early Beatles, whom they also resemble in their slightly quirky melodicism—as well as that of XTC, with heaping helpings of the breezy alt-jangle of The Railway Children. Classically trained Philadelphia harpist Mary Lattimore opens. (Brian Staker) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $18 presale, $20 day of show, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

FRIDAY 4/14 DJ Quik

You gotta wonder how many millennials think this is a new EDM artist with an affinity for flavored milk who kicks out jams that sound like lactose intolerance. You know, instead of a dude from Compton who’s logged three decades in the rap game—since dropping his first mixtape in eighth grade—and worked with the likes of Snoop Dogg, Eazy-E, Tupac Shakur, Suge Knight, Ice Cube and Bizzy Bone. Quik’s also worked with Wiz Khalifa, but we won’t hold that against him, ‘cause the man’s a double-threat, armed with bars and studio skills that he’s wielded on nine of his own albums as well as albums by Ludacris (The Red Light District) and Jay-Z (The Black Album). Anyway, Liquid Joe’s has Quik on their outdoor stage—as the bumpin’ old-school jam from Quik Is the Name (Profile, 1991) goes—“Tonite.” (Randy Harward) Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 7 p.m., $25 presale, $30 day of show, all ages, liquidjoes.net

Real Estate and playing guitar? You might assume the result is some kind of Spinal Tap-esque joke, but Brant Bjork, founding member of Kyuss and Fu Manchu, has membership in a kind of weed ’n’ wah-wah brain trust. As a key part of the evolution of the genre, he knows how to keep it from getting bogged down in unmelodic ruts and, on occasion, add a little humor. Since he’s from SoCal, there’s a concern with partyin’, never taking anything too seriously and kneeling at the altar of the ’70s: “Keep keepin’ gone,” he preaches on “The Greeheen” from his eighth solo release, Tao of the Devil (Napalm Records), which hit the streets last September. Accompanied on tour by his Low Desert Punk Band, Bjork is heavier than thou. (BS) In the Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 7 p.m., $15, 21+ inthevenueslc.com

Brant Bjork

SATURDAY 4/15

Brant Bjork, Royal Thunder, Black Wizard

What happens when the drummer for several highly successful stoner-rock bands goes solo and records an album singing

MATT GRAYSON

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS


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FREE SHUTTLE TO ALL R S L HOME GAMES FROM SUE’S STATE LOCATION

APRIL 22, ATL VS RSL WATCH ALL RSL AWAY GAMES AT A BAR NAMED SUE

HIGHLAND QUINN BROWN PROJECT MORGAN WHITNEY

& THE GOLD

+1 420RTY HERBAN EMPIRE & SUN DIVIDE PA

APR 21

REGGAE, GREEN SHOTS, & WHISKEY

KARAOKE

HOME OF THE “SING O’ FIRE” SALT LAKE’S HOTTEST KARAOKE COMPETITION

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BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $1,500 POT

SUN & THURS

OLD WEST POKER TOURNAMENT STARTS @ 7PM

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FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUE

STATE live music

2013

THE GLUE BOYS

FRI SAT

2014

MUSIC THAT’LL STICK TO YA!WITH MEMBERS FORMERLY OF CHRIS LEDOUX’S BAND

SLOW RIDE

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BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $1,550 POT

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RICK GONZALEZ

CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAY WITH

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Nellie McKay

SATURDAY 4/15 Nellie McKay

LGBTQ rights—and the fight for trans equality especially—sometimes get unfairly dismissed as asking for too much too soon. But that only makes sense if you assume that LGBTQ folks have only existed for as long as they have publicly demanded society’s recognition. That’s why stories such as Billy Tipton’s are so important, and singer/pianist Nellie McKay tells his tale well. Tipton was a jazz bandleader in the mid-20th century who lived his public life as a man, but only after his death was discovered to have been born biologically female. Although Tipton wasn’t particularly well-known during his career, A Girl Named Bill—McKay’s cabaret-style show about his life—illuminates his music, career and the time in which he lived. Buy an extra ticket and take a bathroom warrior you know from the “too much too soon” crowd. Maybe they’ll learn something. (Kimball Bennion) George S. & Dolores Doré Eccles Center Theater, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 7:30 p.m., $29-$79, all ages, ecclescenter.org

River Whyless

TUESDAY 4/18

River Whyless, Y La Bamba

Folk band River Whyless makes a stop in Utah with a new appreciation for the wilderness just across the border. The Asheville, N.C., band spent a week last year at the Seedskadee National Wildlife Refuge in southwest Wyoming in a partnership with the federal government that produced their latest single, “Hold Me to Ya.” Like any good folkie, River Whyless communicates a reverence for public land with a personal touch that eludes the trap of propaganda, a possible liability when artists team up with the feds. They even used a mason jar filled with water as an instrument to recreate the sage grouse’s mating call, a natural oddity that comes from the way a male undulates his chest to impress the ladies of his species. For those not as into sage grouse, River Whyless happens to play an interesting bluegrass variation with a futurist bent that sounds great live and on their latest album, We All the Light (Roll Call). They’re joined tonight by Portland indie folk-pop band Y La Bamba, touring in support of Ojos Del Sol (Tender Loving Empire). (KB) The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., $15, 21+, thestateroomslc.com

HOME OF THE “SING OF FIRE” SALT LAKE’S HOTTEST KARAOKE COMPETITION

STARTS @ 7PM

8136 SO. STATE ST 801-566-3222

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

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FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

ETHRO WATERS

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live music

FRI SAT

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LIVE


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APRNIDL 22 4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

MORE EAR CANDY FROM

& DAVERSE

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

LIVE Music thursday, april 13

BILL AND DIANE

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 4/12

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Thursday 4/13

Reggae

at the Royal

friday, april 14

PENROSE

reggaeloution vocal reasoning

saturday, april 15

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DJ LATU

Weeknights monday

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OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

$

5

amfs & long islands 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

friDAY 4/14

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4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

Live Music

no need jah donkey

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

Tuesday 4/18

Great food

Live Music

ginger and the gents green adjective lost by reason saturday 4/15

open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

Coming soon $

5.99 lunch special

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BIRTHDAY BASH

MONDAY - FRIDAY $

10 brunch buffet

SATURDAYS FROM 11AM-2PM

4/20

420 Party

thrive royal bliss reggae set animo cruz, dj street jesus

Royal bliss 19th anniversary party

4/21 $

12 sunday funday brunch $3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

5/13

fortunate youth

fuel marcy playground

6/9

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

asuu.utah.edu/news/wmf


THURSDAY 4/13

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JUSTIN HIGUCHI VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Jana Kramer

THURSDAY 4/13 LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) The New Wave (‘80s Night) (Area 51)

LIVE MUSIC

Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Après Ski (The Cabin) The Beatles Tribute Night feat. The Bully + Beachmen + The Hound Mystic + The Boys Ranch + Cool Banana (The Urban Lounge) Break on Through (The Cabin) Channel Z (Club 90) Divinity—a benefit for Planned Parenthood, feat. First Daze + DeelanZ + Micah Willis + Rabbit (Kilby Court)

has arrived!

FRIDAY, APRIL 14TH

CATTLEDRIVE BAD RUMORS THE BLACK SHEEP BROTHERS 9PM | 21+

801-265-9889

GREAT

FOOD & DRINK

SPECIALS

4.13 4.14 4.15 4.17

BOOKENDS STONEFED STONEFED OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

4.18 4.19 4.20 4.21 4.22

JEFF CROSBY KAPIX LAKE EFFECT FAT PAW DARIUS JACKSON AND THE MIGHTY TEXAS BLUES BAND

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

APRIL 13, 2017 | 39

4242 S. STATE

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE at

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY

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SATURDAY, APRIL 15TH

9PM | 21+

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Patio Time

FRIDAY 4/14

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Above and Beyond + Yotto (Park City Live) Bastille (UCCU Center) Cinamon Hadley Fundraiser feat. IMPXVIII + IMAGE DOWN + Starbass + Zombiance + DJ Morbid Kitty + Reverend 23 (Metro Music Hall) Dirtyphonics (Sky) Harlis Sweetwater Band (Funk ’n’ Dive Bar) Jana Kramer (In the Venue) see above Live Music at El Chanate (Snowbird) Oceano + Slaughter to Prevail + Aversions Crown + Spite + No Zodiac (The Loading Dock) Real Estate + Mary Lattimore (The Urban Lounge) see p. 34 Social Conduct + Purely Infamous + Ethan Stewart + Flint and Steel (Kilby Court)

Jana Kramer had a steady acting career before she became a star country singer. One of her more famous roles was for playing Alex Dupre on the hit television show One Tree Hill, and that’s where the actress-turned-songstress signed her first music contract. While on the show, she released promotional songs such as “Holding Out for a Hero,” “I Won’t Give Up” and “Whiskey.” She released her self-titled debut album via Elektra Nashville in 2012, which yielded her first hit single “Why Ya Wanna,” nominations for three American Country Music Awards in 2012—New Artist of the Year, Single by a New Artist and Music Video by a New Artist—and an ACM win for Top New Female Artist in 2013. Since then, Kramer has had several hit singles and released a second album, Thirty One (Warner Music Nashville, 2015) and appeared on Dancing with the Stars. Kramer was originally slated to perform in SLC last October, but the show was rescheduled for this week. (Hillary Reilly) In the Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 8 p.m., $27 presale, $30 day of show, 21+, inthevenueslc.com


AMAZING $8 LUNCH EVERY WEEKDAY! Saturday & Sunday Brunch, Mimosa, and Mary THURSDAY:

FRIDAY:

Talia Keys @ 8:00

DJ ChaseOne2 @ 9:00

SATURDAY:

SUNDAY:

DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00

Sleep in! Brunch served ALL DAY!! MONDAY: Micro Monday & Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00! TUESDAY:

Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck! @ 9:00 WEDNESDAY:

PIG-EON @ 7:00, then VJ Birdman on the big screen

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AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am - 1:00am

DJ Quik (Liquid Joe’s) see p. 34 Dru Hill (Park City Live) Jana & The Rebels + Dead Zephyrs (Ice Haüs) Jelly Bread + TBD (The State Room) The Led Zeppelin Experience feat. No Quarter (The Depot) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird Resort) Michael Barrow and the Tourists + Our Olde Soul + Emily Bea (Velour) Rage Against the Supremes (The Spur Bar and Grill) Red Shot Pony (Brewskis) Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

SATURDAY 4/15

Sin City Souls (The Canyons) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) State Champs + Rookie of the Year + The New Low + The Archives (The Complex)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist)

SUNDAY 4/16 LIVE MUSIC

Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Après Ski (The Cabin) Breakfast Klub (The Canyons) The Changing Lanes Experience (Park City Base Area) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird Resort)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Red Cup Event w/ DJ Juggy (Downstairs)

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LIVE MUSIC

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40 | APRIL 13, 2017

CONCERTS & CLUBS

HOURS

FREE LAYAWAY

10AM TO 7PM

MONDAY– SATURDAY CLOSED SUNDAY

NO

CREDIT NEEDED

90 OPTION DAY PAYMENT

MODEL CLOSE-OUTS, DISCONTINUED ITEMS AND SOME SPECIALS ARE LIMITED TO STOCK ON HAND AND MAY INCLUDE DEMOS. PRICES GUARANTEED THRU 4/19/17

A Perfect Circle + Prayers (Maverik Center) Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Après Ski (The Cabin) The Atlas Grove (Lighthouse Lounge) Backyard Revival + Bliss Witch (Johnny’s on Second) Brant Bjork + Royal Thunder + Black Wizard (In the Venue) see p. 34 Channel Z (Club 90) The Cold Hard Cash Show + TBD (The State Room) For the Win + Rookie of the Year + The New Low + The Archives (The Loading Dock) Cory Mon (The Cabin) Jordan Matthew Young Band (The Spur Bar and Grill) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird Resort) Live Trio (The Red Door) Metal Dogs (Brewskis) Nellie McKay (Eccles Center Theater/ Park City) see p. 36 Nirvana Mania (Metro Music Hall) Phutureprimitive + Syn.Aesthetic + HANDZ (The Urban Lounge) Please Be Human (Park City Base Area) Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon) Show Me Island + The Anchorage + Scheming Thieves + Crying Over Cleveland (Kilby Court)

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE (THURS) PHOENIX SOFT TIP DARTS

DIAMOND POOL TABLES LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

DART SUPPLIES PAINT NIGHT (THURS & SAT)

3425 S. State St. Suite D 385-528-2547 Mon-Thurs: 11am-11pm Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-10pm


RANDY HARWARD

BAR FLY

Jeff Dunn plays Tron for the first time, wonders why he sucks at it.

THE ATOMIC ARCADE

LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Iron Kingdom + Kantation (Club X) Riley McDonald (The Spur Bar and Grill)

Cabin Fever & Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

WEDNESDAY 4/19

LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Open Mic (Velour) Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51)

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

APRIL 13, 2017 | 41

Bitchin’ + The Spiral Jetties (The Urban Lounge) Carlos Emjay (The Spur Bar and Grill) The Damned + Bleached (The Depot) see p. 31 River Whyless + Y La Bamba (The State Room) see p. 36 The Wailers (Metro Music Hall) The Walters + Summer Salt + The Boys Ranch + Pacificana (Kilby Court)

Fat Paw (Garage on Beck) Jordan Matthew Young (The Spur Bar and Grill) Live Jazz (Club 90) Mindscar + Hooga + Dipped In Whiskey (Club X) Ne-Hi + Peach Dream + Sales & Co. (Kilby Court) NoNeed (The Lighthouse) Quiet Oaks + Panthermilk + Hard Times (Kilby Court) Shaud DaVenom + Kong Tutrag + The Big Homie T-Low (Metro Music Hall) Spawnbreezie (The Complex)

“UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

| CITY WEEKLY |

TUESDAY 4/18

LIVE MUSIC

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment

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“I gotta pocketful o’ quarters/ and I’m headed to the ar-cade/ I don’t have a lot of money/ but I’m bringin’ everything I made.” For many of us, those words from Buckner and Garcia’s 1981 hit “Pac-Man Fever” make us ravenously nostalgic for the days when we could enter dark dens of pretty lights and funny sounds, and nobody was dancing unless they hit a new high score (or for the truly talented, a kill screen) on Galaga or Donkey Kong. The Atomic Arcade in Holladay caters to those of us who miss the days before arcades like Trolley Games, Chuck E. Cheese and ShowBiz Pizza Place, with their rows of epilepsy-taunting cabinet games like Tron and Asteroids, became casualties of the game-console explosion (cue Pac-Man death sound). The nickelcades of the world tried to revive these joints, but under a different business model that appealed more to children—with more lighting to minimize accidents, and a focus on ticket-spewer games like Skee-Ball, which meant neglecting the vintage cabinet arcade games they’d supposedly brought back. Not so The Atomic Arcade, located beneath the biker bar Cruzrs and across the street from A Bar Named Sue. Stocked with all of the above games, as well as NBA Jam, Pengo and even classic pinball machines, it’s a place that owner Chris Wright keeps nice and dark, allowing the lights, sounds and dreams of past joysticking glory their proper setting. Even better, it’s open daily from 10 a.m.-1 a.m. on a turnkey basis, meaning it’s rarely staffed. You just show up with cash, convert it to quarters and play until you form calluses—or, if you’ve been knocking back shots and suds at Cruzrs or Sue—sober up. (Randy Harward) The Atomic Arcade, 3939 S. Highland Drive, Holladay, 10 a.m.-1 a.m., 21+, cost: pocketful of quarters

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

© 2017

ER UH

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

45. Words heard after opening a gift, maybe 46. Like a deal that won’t happen again 47. Is connected with 49. Wyoming senator Mike 50. “Under Siege” star Steven 52. Crowd sound 56. Jerk 58. Opposite of melted 60. Popeye’s ____’ Pea 62. Web programmer’s medium 65. Alphabet trio 66. Diva’s accessory

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APRIL 13, 2017 | 43

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

Last week’s answers

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1. 1987 #1 hit with the lyric “Soy capitán, soy capitán” 2. Assuming even that 3. Buff 4. “La Toilette” artist 5. Cry with “humbug!” 6. Newcastle Brown and others 7. “Heaven forbid!” 8. Kiting need 9. ____ tear (knee injury) 10. Eton johns 11. Like sweatshop work 12. “That’s my intention” 13. Thwarts 18. Feds who nabbed Capone 19. Go a few rounds 24. An I.Q. of about 100, e.g. 26. Like some monuments: Abbr. 30. 14-time NBA All-Star Duncan 32. “____ insist!” 35. Spoiled 37. High-elev. spot 38. Come ____ surprise 39. “Stupid me!” 40. The 13 of PG-13 and 17 of NC-17 41. Having a knack for 42. “Am I dreaming?!” 43. Add to one’s scrapbook

SUDOKU

DOWN

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1. English professor’s deg. 5. Items checked at the airport 9. 2013 Robert Redford film “____ Lost” 14. “Scratch a lover and find ____”: Dorothy Parker 15. Bushels 16. Take for one’s own 17. Um ... this clue was originally “1973 Robert De Niro film” but two letters went missing in the answer and the clue was fixed to read “Take one’s time hitting TV’s Oz or Phil?” 20. First-stringers 21. Barbershop sound 22. ____ folder 23. “Sideways” Oscar nominee Virginia 25. ____ empty stomach 27. DiFranco who created Righteous Babe Records 28. ____-ray Disc 29. “Just kidding!” 31. Tombstone material 33. High point of a European ski trip? 34. Part of a certain cage 36. Fusses 37. Uh ... this clue was originally “Boxing great” but two letters went missing in the answer and the clue was fixed to read “What Italians called a Spanish Surrealist’s mother?” 41. Datebook data: Abbr. 44. Pointer, e.g. 45. Inside-the-Beltway sort 48. Feinstein and Wiest 51. “I’m With ____” (2016 presidential campaign slogan) 53. Prefix with lateral 54. Two of nine? 55. Georges 57. Tone down 59. Free throw avgs., e.g. 61. Galifianakis of “The Hangover” 63. “That’s ____ I’m willing to take!” 64. Er ... this clue was originally “Aviation pioneers” but two letters went missing in the answer and the clue was fixed to read “Aviation pioneers’ soups?” 67. Parisian girlfriends 68. Buckshot and such 69. ____ suit 70. “It is better to give than to receive,” e.g. 71. She “drank champagne and danced all night,” in song 72. Inner: Prefix


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44 | APRIL 13, 2017

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Before visiting Sicily for the first time, American poet Billy Collins learned to speak Italian. In his poem, “By a Swimming Pool Outside Siracusa,” he describes how the new language is changing his perspective. If he were thinking in English, he might say that the gin he’s drinking while sitting alone in the evening light “has softened my mood.” But the newly Italianized part of his mind would prefer to say that the gin “has allowed my thoughts to traverse my brain with greater gentleness” and “has extended permission to my mind to feel a friendship with the vast sky.” Your assignment in the coming week, Aries, is to Italianize your view of the world. Infuse your thoughts with expansive lyricism and voluptuous relaxation. If you’re Italian, celebrate and amplify your Italianness. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) It’s closing time. You have finished toiling in the shadow of an old sacred cow. You’ve climaxed your relationship with ill-fitting ideas that you borrowed from mediocre and inappropriate teachers once upon a time. And you can finally give up your quest for a supposed Holy Grail that never actually existed in the first place. It’s time to move on to the next chapter of your life story, Taurus! You have been authorized to graduate from any influence, attachment and attraction that wouldn’t serve your greater good in the future. Does this mean you’ll soon be ready to embrace more freedom than you have in years? I’m betting on it. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) The heaviest butterfly on the planet is the female Queen Victorian Birdwing. It tips the scales at 2 grams. The female Queen Alexandra Birdwing is the butterfly with the longest wingspan: over 12 inches. These two creatures remind me of you these days. Like them, you’re freakishly beautiful. You’re a marvelous and somewhat vertiginous spectacle. The tasks you’re working on are graceful and elegant, yet also big and weighty. Because of your intensity, you might not look flight-worthy, but you’re actually quite aerodynamic. In fact, your sorties are dazzling and influential. Though your acrobatic zigzags seem improbable, they’re effective. CANCER (June 21-July 22) Picasso had mixed feelings about his fellow painter Marc Chagall, who was born under the sign of Cancer. “I’m not crazy about his roosters and donkeys and flying violinists, and all the folklore,” Picasso said, referring to the subject matter of Chagall’s compositions. But he also felt that Chagall was one of the only painters “who understands what color really is,” adding, “There’s never been anybody since Renoir who has the feeling for light that Chagall has.” I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will be the recipient of mixed messages like these. Praise and disapproval might come your way. Recognition and neglect. Kudos and apathy. Please don’t dwell on the criticism and downplay the applause. In fact, do the reverse!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) For over a century, the Ringsaker Lutheran Church in Buxton, N.D., hosted rites of passage, including 362 baptisms, 50 marriages and 97 funerals. It closed in 2002, a victim of the area’s shrinking population. I invite you to consider the possibility that this can serve as a useful metaphor for you, Libra. Is there a place that has been a sanctuary for you, but has begun to lose its magic? Is there a traditional power spot from which the power has been ebbing? Has a holy refuge evolved into a mundane hang-out? If so, mourn for a while, then go in search of a vibrant replacement. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Most people throw away lemon rinds, walnut shells and pomegranate skins. But some resourceful types find uses for these apparent wastes. Lemon rind can serve as a deodorizer, cleaner and skin tonic, as well as a zesty ingredient in recipes. Groundup walnut shells work well in facial scrubs and pet bedding. When made into a powder, pomegranate peels have a variety of applications for skin care. I suggest you look for metaphorically similar things, Scorpio. You’re typically inclined to dismiss the surfaces and discard the packaging and ignore the outer layers, but I urge you to consider the possibility that right now they might have value. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You’re growing too fast, but that’s fine as long as you don’t make people around you feel they’re moving too slowly. You know too much, but that won’t be a problem as long as you don’t act snooty. And you’re almost too attractive for your own good, but that won’t hurt you as long as you overflow with spontaneous generosity. What I’m trying to convey, Sagittarius, is that your excesses are likely to be more beautiful than chaotic, more fertile than confusing. And that should provide you with plenty of slack when dealing with cautious folks who are a bit rattled by your lust for life. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Until recently, scientists believed the number of trees on the planet was about 400 billion. But research published in the journal Nature says that’s wrong. There are actually three trillion trees on Earth—almost eight times more than was previously thought. In a similar way, I suspect you have also underestimated certain resources that are personally available to you, Capricorn. Now is a good time to correct your undervaluation. Summon the audacity to recognize the potential abundance you have at your disposal. Then make plans to tap into it with a greater sense of purpose.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) The poet John Keats identified a quality he called “negative capability.” He defined it as the power to calmly accept “uncerLEO (July 23-Aug. 22) “Go Tell It on the Mountain” is the title of an old gospel song, and tainties, mysteries and doubts without any irritable reaching now it’s the metaphorical theme of your horoscope. I advise you to after fact and reason.” I would extend the meaning to include climb a tall peak—even if it’s just a magic mountain in your imagina- three other things not to be irritably reached for: artificial tion—and deliver the spicy monologue that has been marinating clarity, premature resolution and simplistic answers. Now is an within you. It would be great if you could gather a sympathetic audi- excellent time to learn more about this fine art, Aquarius. ence for your revelations, but that’s not mandatory to achieve the necessary catharsis. You simply need to be gazing at the big picture PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Are you ready for a riddle that’s more enjoyable than the kind as you declare your big, ripe truths. you’re used to? I’m not sure if you are. You might be too jaded to embrace this unusual gift. You could assume it’s another one of VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) If you were a snake, it would be a fine time to molt your skin. If the crazy-making cosmic jokes that have sometimes tormented you were a river, it would be a perfect moment to overflow your you in the past. But I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope you’ll banks in a spring flood. If you were an office worker, it would be welcome the riddle in the liberating spirit in which it’s offered. If an excellent phase to trade in your claustrophobic cubicle for you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised as it teases you in ways you a spacious new niche. In other words, Virgo, you’re primed to didn’t know you wanted to be teased. You’ll feel a delightful itch outgrow at least one of your containers. The boundaries you or a soothing burn in your secret self, like a funny-bone feeling knew you would have to transgress someday are finally ready that titillates your immortal soul. P.S.: To take full advantage of to be transgressed. Even now, your attention span is expanding the blessed riddle, you might have to expand your understanding of what’s good for you. and your imagination is stretching.

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CONTACT US NOW TO PLACE YOUR RECRUITMENT ADS 801-413-0947 or JSMITH@CITYWEEKLY.NET For more Employment Opportunities, go online to www.utahjobcenter.com

WE ARE HIRING Merchandising Odgen, Salt Lake, Provo

Be the face of Core-Mark, the first line of customer service and a partner for the retail store in ensuring the store reaches its sales and profitability potential. You’ll be the liaison between the customer and Core-Mark. You’ll work independently and be responsible for the maintenance of product displays in our customers’ stores by rotating product, invoice check-in, and of course, merchandising. SLCJobs@Core-Mark.com

HIRING KITCHEN HELPER, LINE COOK, DISH WASHER $10-$15 PER HOUR; SERVERS $3-$5 PER HOUR PLUS TIPS. ASSISTANT MANAGER $15-20 FULL AND PART TIME AVAILABLE!

HIRING THIS WEEK Animal Feed Buyer (Salt Lake City, UT)

S ON U W FOLLO GRAM A T S IN

FLAGGERS

Lots of work available!! We need certified flaggers. Extra pay if you have own equipment and vehicle. See our website at www.alltradestemp.com. Apply in Salt Lake or Ogden between 8am and 1pm.

HELP!!

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Delivery Driver - Class A Salt Lake City, UT based Class A Delivery Driver with customers throughout Utah and surrounding areas.We’ve got: AC, good equipment, natural gas, employment stability. Home most nights Warehouse (Nights) As a Warehouse Person (Nights), you will accurately select products within the warehouse by performing essential responsibilities, required at the warehouse. Must be able to to lift and or move up to 60lbs *Training is paid at $12.00 per hour After training, pay is based on an incentive calculation (avg. $14.00 - $28.00/hr.) SLCJobs@Core-Mark.com

DRIVERS WANTED

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City Weekly is looking for a Driver for the Bountiful/Davis County area. Drivers must use their own vehicle, be available Wed. & Thur. Those interested please contact Larry Carter: 801-575-7003

Director, Research and Development: Infrascale is currently looking for a Director, Research and Development. The principal place of employment for this position will be at our office in Murray, Utah. Applicants must have a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science and three (3) years of experience in Computer Science. Will accept a bachelor’s equivalent based on a combination of education and experience as determined by a professional evaluation service. CONTACT: Please direct all questions and applications in response to this ad to Nicole. Email –

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All Trades has immediate need for experienced construction laborers, carpenters, form setters, concrete finishers, painters, drywallers and MORE! Good pay, lots of opportunity!

**SIGN-ON BONUS!!!** Generous Benefit package

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We need lots of it! If you need work, extra work, or a different job come see us! Check out our web site to see what we do - www. alltradestemp.com. Apply at:

Core-Mark, a Fortune 400 company that’s pioneering the delivery of fresh food and growing opportunities for you.

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EEK W C L @S

Purchase animal feed such as fodder/hay for resale or export; Negotiate contracts with buyers of forage; Arrange for transportation & storage of purchased products; Maintain records of business transactions & product inventories, reporting data to company. 40hrs/wk, Bachelor’s in Animal Sciences or Related Req’d. Resume to JHS Investment, Inc., Attn. Sangyole Kim, 4561 S Jupiter Dr. Salt Lake City, UT 84124


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Public Notice: University of Utah hospital will be destroying medical records with dates of service prior to March 30, 1987. If you would like access to your medical records prior to destruction, you must contact the facility at 801-581-2704 before April 28, 2017. After that time the medical records will no longer be available.

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Our Future

Growing SLC: A Five-Year Housing Plan is a swell read, just released by the SLC Housing and Neighborhood Development Department. The city is a relatively small place where most people come to work and then go home at night to the ’burbs. The housing plan projects that we’ll add 30,000 to the current population of almost 191,000 by 2030. What’s kind of unique about our city is that we have a high proportion of millennials and minorities and a low number of senior citizens. We’re at the top of opinion polls as a favorite place for millennials because we have a vibrant downtown and great tech-business opportunities. On the f lip side, we’re losing the battle to other cities from a lack of available housing. The report states that SLC is in the beginning stages of a systematic housing crisis affecting middle-income households, and that “exacerbating the housing crisis are local barriers to housing development.” No shit. Many of our zoning regulations are archaic, and supported by NIMBY neighbors who never want change. Here’s an example: areas of single-family-only zoning. Homeowners don’t want tiny back yard houses, basements turned into motherin-law apartments or any more illegal Airbnbs on their streets. The five-year plan cites three goals: 1. Update zoning regulations, getting good data to decision makers and removing impediments to housing development. 2. Increase housing opportunities by funding affordable housing, stabilizing low rents and increasing home ownership possibilities. 3. Eliminate housing discrimination and align resources to create areas of housing opportunity. Right now, the report states that 7,500 households in SLC need help paying rent. The University of Utah found that the average rent for studio apartment is currently $1,000; $1,100 for a one-bedroom and $1,450 for a two-bedroom. Further, between 2010 and 2020, nearly as many apartment units will be built in the downtown area as in the previous 100 years. According to the Ivory-Boyer Construction Report last year, permits were issued for nearly 3,000 multi-family apartment units in the city. Relatively few new homes went up. The only way to get additional housing is to build more densly on the few plots available. Read for yourself at slcgov.com. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

Poets Corner

BORRO WED TIME

We’re all just living in a time long gone, That’s yet to be written, buts been gone sooooo long. SO LONG! Is the song I sing, News today. Does it bring... Fresh baby breath? Gentle spring rain? Question marks? Going insane? Tears of love? Triumph? Joy? Anguish? Broken hearts? A baby boy? It’s all been written--now we’re living it out. When they read the book--what DID you shout? I GIVE! I TAKE! I LOVE! I AM! I CARE ABOUT YOU! My fellow man. Sunset. Alpenglow.

KENNETH CORBET T Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

#cwpoetscorner

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World’s Coolest City Recently, in Dubai (the largest city in the United Arab Emirates), Dubai Civil Defense started using water jetpacks that lift firefighters off the ground to hover in advantageous positions as they work the hoses. Also, using jet skis, rescuers can avoid traffic altogether by using the city’s rivers to arrive at fires (and, if close enough to a waterway, can pump water without hydrants). Even more spectacularly, as early as this summer, Dubai will authorize already tested one-person, Jetsons-type drones for ordinary travel in the city. The Ehang 184 model flies about 30 minutes on an electrical charge, carrying up to 220 pounds at about 60 mph.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

n In March, Ghanian soccer player Mohammed Anas earned a “man of the match” award (after his two goals led the Free State Stars to a 2-2 draw), but botched the acceptance speech by thanking both his wife and his girlfriend. Reportedly, Anas “stumbled for a second” until he could correct himself. “I’m so sorry,” he attempted to clarify. “My wife! I love you so much from my heart.”

WEIRD

Latest Human Rights Convicted murderer Philip Smith (a veteran criminal serving life for killing the father of a boy Smith had been sexually abusing) escaped from prison in New Zealand with the help of a disguise that included a toupée for his bald head—before being caught. Prison officials confiscated the toupée, but Smith said a shiny head behind bars made him feel “belittled, degraded and humiliated” and sued for the right to keep the rug. (In March, in a rare case in which a litigant succeeds as his own lawyer, Smith prevailed in Auckland’s High Court.) n In March, star soccer goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes de Souza signed a two-year contract to play for Brazil’s Boa Esporte club while he awaits the outcome of his appealed conviction for the 2010 murder of his girlfriend. (He had also fed her body to his dogs.) He had been sentenced to 22 years in prison, but was released by a judge after seven, based on the judge’s exasperation at the years-long delays in appeals in Brazil’s sluggish legal system.

n Peacocks are “well known” (so they say) to flash their erect, sometimes 6-foot-high rack of colorful tail feathers to attract mating opportunities. However, as researchers in Texas recently found, the display might not be important. Body cameras placed on peahens at eye level—to learn how they check out strutting males—revealed that the females gazed mostly at the lowest level of feathers, as if attracted only to certain colors rather than the awesomeness of the towering flourish.

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Least Competent Criminals Thieves once again attempted a fruitless smash-and-grab of an ATM at Mike and Reggie’s Beverages in Maple Heights, Ohio, in March—despite the owner’s having left the ATM’s door wide open with a sign reading “ATM emptied nightly.” Police are investigating. n Boca Raton, Fla., jeweler “Bobby” Yampolsky said he was suspicious that the customer who asked to examine diamonds worth $6 million carried no tools of the examination trade. After the lady made several obvious attempts to distract Yampolsky, he ended the charade by locking her in his vault and calling the police, who arrested her after discovering she had a package of fake diamonds in her purse that she likely intended to switch. Great Art! At what was billed as part of a cancer fundraising event at the AvantGarden in Houston in February, performance artist Michael Clemmons and a partner, working as the act Sonic Rabbit Hole, had the elegant idea that one give the other an enema on stage, but there was a “spraying” accident. Viewers were led to believe the procedure was authentic, but the artists swore later that the sprayed contents were just a protein shake. “What I did is not all that [extreme],” protested Clemmons. “I don’t understand why I’m getting the attention for this.” The Passing Parade Two convicted murderers imprisoned in Nepal married each other in February, though it will be at least 14 years before they can consummate. Dilli Koirala, 33 (serving 20 years for killing his wife), and Mimkosha Bista, 30 (with another four years to go for killing her husband), will be allowed to meet (just to talk) twice a month until Koirala’s term ends. A lawyer involved in the case said the marriage, though odd, was perhaps the last chance either would have to meet a suitable match.

Thanks this week to Jim Weber, Caroline Lawler, Bob Stewart, Chuck Hamilton and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

HOME LOANS MADE BRIZZÉE Julie Bri-ZAY, makes home buying ea-ZAY Loan officer NMLS#243253 Citywide Home Loans NMLS#67180

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APRIL 13, 2017 | 47

Spectacular Errors! In March, jurors in Norfolk, Va., found Allen Cochran, 49, not guilty of attempted shoplifting, but he was nowhere to be seen when the verdict was announced. Apparently predicting doom (since he had also been charged with fleeing court during a previous case), he once again skipped out. The jury then re-retired to the jury room, found him guilty on the earlier count and sentenced him to the five-year maximum. (Because of time already served, he could have walked away legally if he hadn’t walked away illegally.)

Julie “Bella” Hall

| COMMUNITY |

Mating Strategies The Apenheul primate park in Apeldoorn, Netherlands, is engaged in a four-year experiment, offering female orangutans an iPad loaded with photos of male orangutans now housed at zoos around the world, with the females able to express interest or disinterest (similar to swiping right or left on the human dating app Tinder). Researchers admit results have been mixed, that some males have to be returned home, and once, a female handed the iPad with a potential suitor showing, merely crushed the tablet. (Apps are not quite to the point of offering animals the ability to digitally smell each other.)

Most Competent Criminal An astonished woman unnamed in news reports called police in Coleshill, England, in February to report that a car exactly like her silver Ford Kuga was parked at Melbicks garden center—with the very same license plate as hers. Police figured out that a silver Ford Kuga had been stolen nearby in 2016, and to disguise that it was stolen, the thief had looked for an identical, not-stolen Ford Kuga and then replicated its license plate, allowing the thief to drive the stolen car without suspicion.

Med Students

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Awesome! The Cleveland Street Department still had not at press time identified the man, but somehow he, dressed as a road worker, had wandered stealthily along Franklin Boulevard during March and removed more than 20 standard “35 mph” speed limit signs—replacing all with official-looking “25 mph” signs that he presumably financed himself. Residents along those two miles of Franklin have long complained, but the city kept rejecting pleas for a lowered limit.

Leading Economic Indicators It turns out that Layne Hardin’s sperm is worth only $1,900—and not the $870,000 a jury had awarded him after finding that former girlfriend Tobie Devall had, without Hardin’s permission, obtained a vial of it without authorization and inseminated herself to produce her son, now age 6. Initially Hardin tried to gain partial custody of the boy, but Devall continually rebuffed him, provoking the lawsuit (which also named the sperm bank Texas Andrology a defendant) and the challenge in Houston’s First Court of Appeal.

All saints, sinners, sisterwives and...


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| CITY WEEKLY • BACKSTOP |

48 | APRIL 13, 2017

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City Weekly April 13, 2017  

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City Weekly April 13, 2017  

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