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Business, Arts & Society

Rio Grand Valley

Live like the rich Why crisis is good for management An angel in the Valley Relating to yourself Relating to others

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PUBLISHER

Eduardo Azcoitia

EDITORS

Teresa Heatherman Ronald Gross Anett Ramirez

CONTRIBUTORS

Ichak Kalderon Adizes Ph.D. Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D., A.T.R. Gordon Botting, Dr. Ph, CHES Christopher Brandemberg Ph.D. Howard Taras, M.D. Elizabeth Arias Hector Grajeda Francisco G. “Paco” Zarate Linda Guardiola

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8 Live Like The Rich Did you know that 1 percent of income producers pay 37 percent of the entire federal income tax, whereas the bottom 50 percent of the income producers contribute less than 4 percent?

12 Marketing in a Recession One of the biggest mistakes companies can make is dramatically reducting or eliminating their advertising and marketing budgets during a recession. Marketing is the one thing that can bail you out of deep water. Let it be your life preserver!

18 Poor Sleep Poor Grades Health care providers advocate that healthy children make the best students. Find out if students really do learn their best when they are healthy.

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20 In US, Hispanics live longer Researchers have seen signs of Hispanic longevity for years. Until recently, the government didn’t calculate life expectancy for Hispanics as a separate group. The first report to estimate Hispanic life expectancy in this country shows that U.S. Hispanics can expect to outlive whites by more than two years and blacks by more than seven.

22 Pounds and Inches Away

letters@cityharmony.com editor@cityharmony.com advertising@cityharmony.com

Although the HCG diet has been receiving a great deal of attention lately, it actually is not a new concept. In fact, the use of HCG as a diet aid was first discussed in a report that Dr. A.T.W. Simeons, a British physician who was studying obesity, published in 1954.

Business, Arts & Society

Rio Grand Valley

28 ,GHQWLÀFD\VXSHUDODLQÀGHOLGDG Miles de mujeres y hombres ven sus vidas destrozadas por la infidelidad. ¿Qué se puede hacer para evitarla? o ¿Cómo se puede superar este terrible suceso?

Live like the rich Why crisis is good for management

30 Juventud con experiencia Sugerencias para ayudar cuando se vuelven irritables 1. Jugar algún juego de mesa 2. Planear un paseo por el parque o museo 3. Salir a ver una película o ir a comer 4. Un pasatiempo es buena terapia 5. Asistir con ayuda en el hogar

An angel in the Valley Relating to yourself Relating to others

The content of articles contained in City Harmony Magazine solely reflects the personal opinions of the authors or contributors and doesn’t necessarily represent the official position of City Harmony Magazine. The publisher assumes no responsibility for errors and omissions appearing in the content or advertising within. The publisher reserves the right to accept or reject any and all content pertaining to advertising and editorial. Contents cannot be reprinted without the written permission of City

Harmony Magazine. City Harmony Magazine is a bi-monthly magazine with over 15,000 copies distributed throughout the Rio Grande Valley. Developed and published exclusively by City Harmony Publishing. City Harmony, does not assume any liability for any advertising, articles, photographs, or artwork. For advertising information or comments, please contact us at: City Harmony Publishing 3604 N. McColl Ed. McAllen, TX 78501. Tel. 1-877-392-7263.

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Why Crisis is Good for Management By Ichak Kalderon Ph.D.

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ompanies are experiencing turbulence and uncertainty in face of the global financial crisis, but is a crisis good or bad for organizations? People generally dread changes, especially if they are major and unexpected, but opportunity lies hidden amidst crises for the organizations that have prepared. So is a crisis good or bad? To answer this, I have a story: A mother or spouse often warns us, after taking a hot bath, to refrain from going outside when it is windy. They worry that we will catch a cold. In Finland, however, people relax in a sauna, sweat, then roll in the cold snow outside. They don’t get sick, but rather, they feel invigorated. Some people in Siberia, even the aged, will dig a hole in the ice on a lake or river, and then dive into the freezing water…and they do not fall ill. If I did that I would catch pneumonia and surely die. Why do such extreme changes invigorate some and threaten others? The cause of the illness is neither the wind nor the freezing water, but rather, unpreparedness for change. This phenomenon applies to organizations as well. Organizations that are prepared to deal with change are invigorated by it; those that are not risk death. This is Darwin’s theory of evolution. Allow me to relate one more story. The President of the company Porsche at the time, Peter Shultz, told me about something interesting that happened when he was first appointed President. He visited each department to introduce himself and become acquainted with each division. At the engineering department, he asked if the Porsche Company competes in Le Mans, which is the premier racing track for any sports car company. “No, we don’t,” they said. Since Porsche is a leading auto manufacturer within the sports car industry, Peter gave them a challenge, “build a car to compete in Le Mans and win.” The Engineers took the challenge seriously. They worked like ants, day and night, designed the engine and the racing car, tested it, and took their car to Le Mans to compete. Lo and behold, they won. A big, big celebration followed…but it was short lived. The racing committee unexpectedly changed the rules for the next year’s race and Porsche’s Engineers had to start from scratch to design and test a new car.

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As one would expect, morale plummeted. Peter had a different opinion, saying,” We should be happy they changed the rules. They didn’t change it just for us. They changed it for everyone. Who will win now? Who will succeed? Those who are faster and more effective in dealing with the change will succeed. The weak ones will die.” And here is the last sentence from his speech, which has become like a mantra for me: “When there is no change, THE MEDIOCRE catch up.” Change provides the opportunity to leave the competition behind. Change can be invigorating for the strong. Change provides the opportunity for the strong to out-pace the weak and sick. Change is the best ally if you are ready for it. INTEGRATE TO WIN. How should you prepare for the inevitable changes your company will face? First, let us understand what happens when there is change. An organization is a system and every system, by definition, is comprised of sub-systems. When there is an external systemic change, the internal organizational sub systems do not change in synchronicity; some change quickly and some change slowly. These discrepancies manifest themselves in what we call problems, and if those problems threaten the organization’s survival, we label them a ‘crisis.’ Thus, I suggest to you that all problems, of any magnitude, are caused by disintegration, which originates from change. And what is the “therapy” then? Integration. The more integrated the organism, or in this case the organization, the better it can survive the change. (Note

that the higher the rate of change, the higher is the rate of divorces and if there is a crisis, it accelerates the divorces). An organization should not wait for a crisis before integrating. It should simulate different scenarios and identify problems to deal with these problems before a crisis occurs. When the change or crisis happens, the organization will not panic because it will be ready as part its job. The military often performs these ‘maneuvers.’ Some organizations do “maneuvers” for earthquake or fire preparedness, but what about preparing for a liquidity crash, major inflation, or recession? What should a company do at the apex of a crisis? Some obese people get liposuction to avoid a heart attack, but if they do not change their eating habits, a heart attack becomes imminent. Companies weathering the crisis fire a certain percentage of their employees, like organizational liposuction. The “numbers” improve, but is the organism healthy? Why weren’t these unproductive employees fired before the crisis? Why didn’t the heart attack victim monitor his weight before the attack? “But there is a reduction in demand. We don’t need so many people now,” someone might say. So let’s assume you have been lean and mean and your employees are all ideally efficient and effective. If you fire them, what is it analogous to? Firing good people is not cutting fat; it is cutting muscle. Assume you have first class machines in your production facility. There is a reduction in demand. Are you going to sell, say, twenty percent of your machines, or idle them till the demand improves? Selling some machines, then re-buying and re-integrating them to reuse is immensely easier than firing good people, re-hiring and re-integrating new people later on. It takes time and resources to find and assimilate good people into your company’s culture. What then? If you have a seasonal business, then ask your employees to take some vacation, without pay, and hibernate during the “winter” of your business. People will prefer to take less income, than no income at all. In a time of crisis, preserve your assets; do not dissipate them. When the enemy attacks, circle the wagons rather than shoot at each other.


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Know Thyself:

Relating to Yourself, Relating to Others by Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D., A.T.R.

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ur first relationship is with ourselves. Our relationships with others reflect how we see and treat ourselves. Unless we can see ourselves honestly, we aren’t going to be able to really see and love another. Eastern spiritual teachers say that, “The world is as you see it.” In the West, psychologists are fond of saying it another way, “It’s all done with mirrors,” referring to the phenomenon of projection. In projection we see in others qualities we have disowned in ourselves. When this happens, we either hate the other person or we idolize them. If I’m a workaholic, I will criticize someone who knows how to play and have a good time, judging them as being childish. Or I may fall in love with someone who is playful (because I need to lighten up), only to turn against them “when the honeymoon is over,” and tell them to grow up and “get busy.” Either way, we miss the point. When there’s an emotional charge - positive or negative - in any relationship, that person is showing us something we haven’t seen in ourselves. They are mirroring a quality we’ve condemned or one we’ve longed for or need more of. (The workaholic needs to play more to get into balance.)

and consciously? I strongly recommend personal journal-keeping. It is the best self-reflective tool I know. Journaling is inexpensive and is readily accessible at all times. It is wonderful self-therapy and it greatly benefits relationships as well. It needs to be kept private and confidential, to ensure honesty and safety. This is crucial, otherwise it won’t work. Journaling exercises appear in all my books, and I assign personal journalkeeping in my clinical practices and my public workshops. The purpose of journaling is to reflect honestly on our own feelings, needs, wishes and dreams. For this is our responsibility, and ours alone. No one can read our minds, no one can take care of our feelings or determine our needs for us. Unfortunately many people go to love relationships expecting exactly that. “If he really loved me he’d know how I feel.” Or, “If she really cared about me, she’d do..... (you fill in the blanks).” There may be a chance that the person you love doesn’t or can’t love you. All the more reason to examine your needs and the relationship through journaling. You can blame and complain all you want. In the last analysis, how your lover or partner behaves doesn’t absolve you from knowing and meeting your own needs. Taking responsibility for meeting our own needs is what makes it possible to have a conscious, loving relationship. If we aren’t examining our own needs and getting them met on an on-going basis, we will expect our lover or partner to do it. We want the other person to be the good parent we never had. We want him or her to take care of our Inner Child’s emotional and physical needs. Or we may ourselves unconsciously fall into the role of the rescuing or controlling parent to our partner’s Inner Child (who may be needy, angry, demanding, flaky, addicted, etc.). That’s called co-dependence.

How can we see through our projections? How can we learn to see ourselves and our partner more honestly

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Through journaling, we can reparent ourselves, take responsibility for our own needs and free our partner to do the same. A journal exercise I recommend is the following: With your dominant hand (the one you normally write with), ask your Inner Child: How do you feel about this

relationship (or mention your partner’s name). If you are aware of your Inner Child having a nick-name or a name other than the one you use as an adult, then refer to him or her this way. With your non-dominant hand (the one you don’t normally write with), Let your Inner Child answer the question. It is common for this kind of writing to be very slow and awkward. That’s perfect because we’re talking to a little kid here, the part of you that never grew up and never will. It’s your emotional child-like self. Let your Inner Child print or write long hand and be patient. The effort will be well worth it when you see what he or she has to say.

You can’t have intimacy in a love relationship if your Inner Child (your emotional self) does not feel safe. This exercise has helped hundreds of my students and readers turn the corner in their love relationships. Either they find out the child does not feel safe and wants out. Or they find out that the relationship is safe, but that the Inner Child hasn’t had a chance to express its real needs. This is self-reparenting and it transforms lives and relationships. For more journal activities and information about this process, see my books, Recovery of Your Inner Child and The Power of Your Other.


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Live Like The Rich By Gordon Botting, Dr. Ph, CHES

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t some point in your life, I’m sure you said to yourself, “I wish I was really wealthy, “or I would like to live like a millionaire.” In your mind, you visualized living in a palatial mansion surrounded by lush gardens. Inside all the comforts you could dream of: a spacious kitchen decked out with state-of-the-art appliances, a luxurious master suite and a closet filled with the latest fashions, a bathroom furnished with massage tub and bidet. Housed in twelve-door garage, a dozen choice automobiles await you command to tour the town. Best of this entire mansion and all its amenities come equipped with gardeners to tend the gardens, chefs to prepare scrumptious meal, maids to tidy the rooms and chauffeurs to care for the cars. While you’re still dreaming, you see yourself lying in the beach in exotic locations, touring Europe or making a pilgrimage to the Far East, annual extravagant variations customary for the wealthy. Even if my picture of ultimate wealth was a bit much for you, I’m sure you have had your moments when you said to yourself, “Having a little more money would certainly help out our current situation”. However, the real truth is that the majority of millionaires live very modest lifestyles. In most recent book entitled, “Stop Acting Rich…. And Start Living like Real Millionaire”, Thomas J. Stanley, PhD, has discovered that the majority of millionaires live very unassuming and

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unpretentious lifestyles. As America’s foremost authority in the affluent, Stanley present the results of his interviews and surveys of the well-to-do, and the results are quite different than the assumptions you have of the rich.

Did you know that 1 percent of income producers pay 37 percent of the entire federal income tax, whereas the bottom 50 percent of the income producers contribute less than 4 percent? If you would like to live above your means and begin to live like the “rich and famous,” the let below contains the economic realities and principles of basic money management, which millionaires tend to follow. Accompanying these is the unrealistic assumptions the majority of the people believe are the core reasons most millionaires are wealthy. Assumption: Millionaires live in spacious mansions or at least in upperclass golf course neighborhoods. Reality: Approximately 90 percent of them live in homes under a million dollars. Actually, three times more millionaires live in houses valued at

less than $300,000. Most readers will be shocked that over 67,000 millionaires reside in mobile homes. Why So Frugal: In the United States most people believe real estate is an excellent long-term investment. It is true that homes usually increase in value, but large homes also have hefty expenditures such as heating and cooling, maintenance, property tax and insurance. Millionaires know purchasing a modest home in a middle class neighborhood decreases the pressure to not only spend money that could be invested in the stock market earning them more revenue, but reduces the social pressure to fit in a more expensive neighborhood. Assumption: Millionaires have many holiday homes and vacation residences. Reality: When it comes to secondary homes, 64 percent of millionaires surveyed have never owned a vacation home, a beach bungalow or a mountaintop cabin, let alone a lean-to or tree hut in the woods. According to the National Association of Realtors, the typical second home buyer has a median household income of just over $80,000. Why So Frugal: The majority millionaires understand the real cost of owning a second home, both in time and money, including commuting to maintaining, and furnishing the dwelling. Plus, millionaires do not want to be “locked into” having a holiday in Continued on Page 10


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the same vacation spot year after year. Assumption: Millionaires have lots of toys, such as boats, RV’s, etc., that most of us will never own in our lifetimes. Reality: More than 93 percent of those who purchased a boat are not millionaires. The majority if American millionaires have never own any type or watercraft, be it yacht or dinghy. Of the ones who did purchase a boat during their lifetime, they sold it and never again acquired another, What may surprise you more is two-thirds of deca-millionaires have never been in possession of a sailboat, schooner, cruiser or any other type of vehicle that floats.

Did you know that there are over 715,000 professional entertainers in the United States, with an average yearly income of just over $5,600? Of that number only 61 percent have a positive income, with only 6 out of 10 even generating enough income to pay their expenses.

Why So Frugal: The same reason some millionaires do not have second homes applies to owning adult toys. Assumption: Millionaires not only drive the very latest luxurious automobiles, but they own the real exotic cars. Reality: During the last decade, the millionaires surveyed have NOT owned or leased one of the following prestige automobiles: Aston Martin (100%), Lamborghini (99%), Ferrari (99.7%), Maserati (99.6%), Rolls Royce (99.6%), and Jaguar (92.6%). What may surprise you more is that they have but purchased these less luxurious vehicles: Lincoln (93%), Audi (93%), Audi (93%), Saab (96%), Acura (89%), BMW (80%), Lexus (79%) and Mercedes Benz (75%). Eight-six percent of all expensive makes are driven by non-millionaires. The typical millionaire chooses a Toyota (11%) followed b Ford and Chevrolet. The median price paid by millionaires is in the $30,000 range, not the &75,000+ price rabble expected of this class.2

Did you know that one of the most profitable businesses is Pawn Brokering? Just maybe the hyper-spending or the would-be-wealthy has led to this enterprise being such a success. 2 Page 92 Why So Frugal: They were not looking for status, but for a vehicle that would cost less to maintain and be less noticeable to be broken into and stolen in a parking lot. Assumption: Millionaires always look like they are dressed for success by purchasing the top-of-the-line clothes, shoes and accessories. Reality: Millionaires shop for their clothes at a variety of stores and their favorites include: Macy’s (27%), Kohl’s (22%), Target (22%), and Costco (22%). With the ladies, Saks was on the bottom o the top ten places they like to shop. The top five included such retailers as Macy’s, T.J. Maxx, and Target. In Stanley’s surveys, the median range for the purchase of a suit was $299.50. It is a rarity that a millionaire buys a $5,000 suit;

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in fact, the radio is 1 to 900. Only 1 in 944 millionaires indicated that his favorite brand of shoes were “custom made”. The top five preferred brands were Allen Edmonds, Cole Haan, Johnston & Murphy, Florsheim and Rockport. Interestingly, when it comes to choose, 70 percent of millionaires have then resoled. Surprisingly, one in five millionaires wear a Seiko watch and far behind is another favorite-Timex.

The Bottom Line: The majority of millionaires, in large part, became prosperous because of their frontal lifestyle. Hence, by the time they reached the status or being really wealthy; they were so set in their ways they typically remained financially frugal. So if you are still single and desire to get married, then choose a spouse who is a tightwad. Stewardship Perspective: If you were a millionaire, owned a fabulous mansion with then spacious bedrooms and had all the luxuries previously mentioned, you still could only sleep in ONE bedroom, drive ONE car and eat ONE meal at a time. A true steward knows that life of need is better by far than a life or greed. References 1. Thomas J. Stanley, PhD, Millionaires, Bottom Line Personal, March 1, 2010 page 1 2. Thomas J. Stanley, PhD, Stop Acting Rich….and Start Living like a Real Millionaire, John Wiley & Sons, 2009. Items and pages as follows: homes: pages 43-45; secondary homes: pages 40-41; boats: pages 39; vehicles: pages 180-181; clothes: pages 70-73, 79-81; shoes: pages 68-69; watches: page 81.


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Marketing in a Recession By Dr. Christopher Brandemberg

When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Start Marketing When the economy goes for a dive, that’s the time for your marketing efforts to come up for a breath of fresh air. One of the biggest mistakes companies make is that when the money gets tight and cutbacks need to be made, advertising and marketing is the first to go – big mistake! Marketing is the one thing that can bail you out of deep water, so don’t get rid of it. Here are few steps you can take to insure your place in a changing marketplace. Get With a Plan First thing you just need to do is rethink your marketing plan. Ask yourself this: Are your current marketing efforts working for you? Do you have a mission statement? Has it changed? Is your marketing reflecting your goals? You might want to start by writing or re-writing your mission statement because all your marketing communications should flow from this, then revisit your marketing plan and change it if necessary. Become Flexible and Expand Since the marketplace changes all the time, especially in a recession (people’s money values change), your business should change with it. You might want to consider adding more services/products or alter what you currently offer to better fit your customer’s spending habits (such as a value package). Look for a need and fulfill it and if something is not working, change it. Be Direct When every penny counts you’re going to want to know how well those pennies are working for you. Direct marketing is the way to go because it is measurable, you can actually see your rate of return. With traditional print, TV and radio advertising, you just don’t know what your incoming numbers are. I’m not saying that these types of advertising can’t be effective but when the economy is in a slump you want to be able to see the results – stick with direct marketing for now. Share The Expense If you can’t afford to take on the brunt of a marketing campaign, go dutch. Find a company with a product or service that compliments yours and implement a cross marketing campaign together. It’s a win-win situation and it’s a great way to reach a new customer base. Customers are Key During a recession, a lot of your marketing should be geared toward the retention of your existing customers. Keep the customers you have happy and keep them coming back.

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One way of doing this is by implementing a loyalty program. This is a type of CRM (Customer Relationship Management) campaign that rewards and encourages loyal buying behavior, such as a supermarket savings card or a points program. You can then use the data you collected to address the needs or behaviors of your customers with future targeted communications. Providing customers with valuable information like whitepapers or an informative newsletter is another CRM tool that is a cost effective way to strengthen your customer base and brand. Go Forth and Prosper These are just a few tips on ways you can improve your sales and marketing in a tough economy. If you want to hear more or are ready to make some marketing changes to your business, call on the experts at Brandemberg 1-877-39 –BRAND (27263). They can help you implement your marketing plan and align your efforts with your business goals.


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It is a proven fact that in times of economic decline businesses that implement smart marketing campaigns come out ahead. Companies need to look at their current marketing plans and modify them to the changing business environment. For most, general advertising doesn’t work anymore, directly marketing to your ideal customer does. So, how do you do this? By hiring a marketing company that can reach those customers for you. Brandemberg is a unique marketing company made up of some of the brightest minds in marketing. Brandemberg specializes in direct and web marketing and prides themselves on getting your product or service in front of the right people. Give us a call today at 1-877-392-7263 and find out what Brandemberg can do for your business.

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An Angel in the Valley

io Grande Valley has a young talented girl with a “voice like an angel�. Her name is Yumi Castor. During 2009 Yumi was a featured singer for the international Christian Satellite. She taped about 14 songs and the program is being aired internationally to over 100 countries. She is also an Opera Soloist and performer for many private functions, and churches. Yumi, was born 12 years ago in McAllen to her parents Peter and Lilian Tayo Castor. Yumi’s first involvement in music was in 1999; she was just barely two yrs old that time. Now she has almost a full agenda with the tremendous amount of support from her mom. She was the youngest of the Edinburg SDA Children’s Choir. “I could remember those days when she would stand with the older kids who kept looking at them with amazement then she would sing out loud when the chorus part of the song came because that was the only part she knew, said Lilian Tayo. Yumi stayed in the choir until last year, 2009 but didn’t sing any solo until when she was about 9 yrs old. “I shall say that the beginning of singing solo was just kind of accident. I said accident because it was not plan at all�, said Castor. We were on vacation when she was asked to sing in a program church. Her mom was in shocked and worried. The practice time she had with that new song was just 30 minutes. Lilian Castor “prep� Yumi (my ever first time to bribe her with money). “I told her that I would give her $ 5.00 if she would listen to me and not sing at all. Maybe next time if you can practice well. But Yumi looked at me and told me that she would like to sing and that she didn’t want the $ 5.00 because she didn’t need it anyway...It was so hard for me to go to sleep that evening�.

Yumi and her mom also visit people who are sick, or maybe lonely, in pain or in any kind of suffering. Yumi sings and pray for them. She is involved in collecting in kind donations like foods and clothes to help others. Even if she does not have any singing appointment, Yumi always practices for the benefit of her voice and also just in case, when the people would ask her to sing, at least she is ready, but pretty much, she is so honored having the constant singing appointments mostly in churches around the valley. Yumi does not watch TV. She does not play any kind of video games. If she uses computer is only for homework and other educational purposes. She uses her time as wisely as possible to play piano, to compose music or spend time talking with her mom

who tries to fill her time with positive activities as much as possible. “I joined the South Texas Opera Chorus (stlo.org) opera about 5 yrs ago. Yumi was just about 6 yrs old at that time. I used to put her in the corner and gave her the coloring books or some books to read in order for her to be quiet while I was singing during opera rehearsals. She was learning all the songs and finally joined the Opera Chorus. Eventually, Maestro de Oliveira, gave some small roles in Operas like Tosca, and La Boheme to Yumi, then she performed solo on stage at the McAllen Civic Center with a full orchestra under De Oliveira�s Conduction. For many years, she was the only child as choir member. “She knows her opera parts now much better than me�, said Castor. Last year too she was invited to sing the US American National Anthem at the Edinburg Roadrunner Baseball Stadium. In 2010 she is participating in an Annual church-planting Rally interpreting five songs and she is recording for a Christian DVD project.

Yumi’s Facts t'BWPSJUFCBOETJOHFS+FOOJGFS-B Mountain (gospel singer) t'BWPSJUFDPMPS#MVFCFDBVTFJUT comforting and my dad’s favorite color is also blue t'BWPSJUFTDIPPMBDUJWJUJFT%SBNB tIPCCJFT1BJOUJOH ESBXJOHTQPSUT (volleyball/basketball) after high school, I will be..a doctor in music or a neonatologist (doctor that provides care for premature & NICU babies)

Poor Sleep, Poor Grades by Howard Taras, M.D.

D

octors, nurses and other health care providers never fail to remind teachers, principals and other school professionals that children and adolescents can only learn optimally if they are healthy. But how true is this? In a series of six recently-published articles, the relationship between children’s performance in school and various health problems was examined. In each of these articles, the authors reviewed numerous published research studies to look for patterns. Of all the health problems investigated, poor sleep was among the most unexpected and definitive causes of poor academic achievement. Most children need at least nine hours of restful sleep each night. However, for many reasons, school-aged children may receive less than the recommended amount. The reasons

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for this shortfall include the working, eating, and bedtime patterns of students and their families, early school-start times, and childhood sleep disorders (such as disrupted sleep from snoring or breathing pauses, their sleep environment and sleep surface). Many adolescents and pre-adolescents (more than 40%, in many research studies) do not get adequate amounts of sleep. In one study of 1,000 students (grades 9-12), 90% reported feeling groggy from lack of sleep. And there is evidence that grogginess affects school performance. In another study comparing 150 high school students with high GPAs with their peers with lower GPAs, most of the higher-GPA students awakened later on school days, awoke earlier on weekends, had fewer night-time awakenings and


other signs of good sleep habits. It is not only adolescents who have sleep problems that affect their education. In one study of 132 third, fourth, and fifth graders, 43% had sleep difficulties lasting more than six months. Those with the sleep difficulties were more likely to have failed at least one year of school than those without sleep difficulties. Families with a child who is performing poorly in school or has a short attention span should consider whether any of the following problems occur at home with their child:

· Poor sleep patterns (late bedtime, early wake-up time) · Bedtime resistance that affects sleep hours or any other causes for delay in sleep onset · Any awakenings at night · Any breathing problems that interfere with sleep · An increase in daytime sleepiness. Any of these problems should be evaluated by a professional to explore the possible relationship between poor sleep and poor school performance.

DOES YOUR CHILD

‡5HIXVHWRFRRSHUDWHLQWKHPRUQLQJ" ‡*HWLQWRWURXEOHIRUQRW OLVWHQLQJ" ‡/RVHVFRQWURORYHU LQVLJQLILFDQWLVVXHV" ‡([SHULHQFHGLIILFXOW\ IRFXVLQJGXULQJFODVV" These Are Just a Few Signs of Sleep Deprivation.

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Many adolescents and pre-adolescents do not get adequate amounts of sleep. Medical research studies done by highly accredited doctors, has shown that insufficient & inadequate sleep may not only contribute to lower grades and a lack of motivation, but also may increase the odds of serious emotional & behavioral problems.

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[23


In US, Hispanics live longer

Report by Elizabeth Arias of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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diets and other habits blamed for wrecking the health of other ethnic populations. Certainly, past CDC studies have shown that Hispanics suffer some diseases at higher rates than whites, including diabetes and heart disease. But their death rates from those diseases were lower, not higher. Health researchers 100 have seen a 83.1 80.4 77.9 80 76.2 75.6 strong link 69.2 between 60 poverty, lack of education 40 and lifeshortening 20 health problems. 0 Hispanic NonHispanic NonNonNonfemale Hispanic male Hispanic Hispanic Hispanic Hispanics white female black female white male black male are Age in years

R

esearchers have seen signs of Hispanic longevity for years. Until recently, the government didn’t calculate life expectancy for Hispanics as a separate group. The first report to estimate Hispanic life expectancy in this country shows that U.S. Hispanics can expect to outlive whites by more than two years and blacks by more than seven. A new report relesased demostrate the strongest evidence of what some experts call the “Hispanic paradox” — longevity for a population with a large share of poor, undereducated members. A leading theory is that Hispanics who manage to immigrate to the U.S. are among the healthiest from their countries. Hispanics are the largest, fastest growing minority in the United States, accounting for 15 percent of the population. An estimated 40 percent of them are immigrants, who in some cases arrived after arduous journeys to do taxing manual labor. It takes a fit person to accomplish that, suggesting that the United States is gaining some of the healthiest people born in Mexico and other countries, said Dr. Peter Muennig of Columbia University’s school of public health who has studied life expectancy in different countries. Compared to the estimate for all U.S. Hispanics, life expectancy is nearly two years lower in Puerto Rico, more than two years lower in Cuba, and more than four years lower in Mexico, according to World Health Organization figures. However, experts say that immigrant hardiness diminishes within a couple of generations of living here. Many believe it’s because the children of immigrants take up smoking, fast-food

SOURCE: CDC/NCHS, National Vital Statistics System and Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, Medicare data.

Figure 6. Life expectancy at birth, by Hispanic origin, race, and sex: United States, 2006

disadvantaged in those areas: About 19 percent of Hispanics live at or below the federal poverty level — three times more than whites. As for education, fewer than 13 percent of Hispanics have a college degree, compared to 17 percent of blacks and 30 percent of whites. Experts say that immigrant hardiness diminishes within a couple of generations of living here. Many believe it’s because the children of immigrants take up smoking, fastfood diets and other habits blamed for wrecking the health of other ethnic populations and the American lifestyle is very sedentary. There are limitations to the report. For example, it could not completely account for all Hispanics who move back to their countries of origin to die. Until fairly recently, there was significant uncertainty about the accuracy of death records for Hispanics. Most health records only had data on blacks and whites. U.S. death certificates didn’t provide for a way to identify someone as Hispanic until 1989.


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Pounds and Inches Away The Skinny on HCG Dieting

In a report by British physician, Dr. A.T.W. Simeons, published in 1954 on obesity.

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lthough the HCG diet has been receiving a great deal of attention lately, it actually is not a new concept. In fact, the use of HCG as a diet aid was first discussed in a report that Dr. A.T.W. Simeons, a British physician who was studying obesity, published in 1954. Dr. Simeons found that an HCG injection did more than just help his patients lose weight. In fact, he found that the HCG helped to naturally reshape his patient´s bodies even if they did not engage in exercise while on his low calorie diet. He also observed that his patients could drastically reduce their caloric intake without experiencing irritability, hunger pains, headaches, or weakness while also taking HCG. Today, an increasing number of dieters, who have given up hope in their journey to permanently lose weight, are turning to HCG to help them lose those unwanted pounds and inches in problematic areas. What Exactly is HCG? The term HCG stands for Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin, which is produced naturally in the human body. The FDA terms HCG as a Hormone but it is a glycoproteic substance, which some believe should not be called a hormone, since it does not fulfill the concept of a hormone’s basic postulates. The FDA has determined that it is a safe drug to use, it has no negative side effects and provides no unfavorable results. In fact a number of positive side effects have occurred due to the loss of weight as they are directly related to weight an they are: lowered

blood pressure, lowered cholesterol and a more stable blood sugar in some diabetic type 2 patients. The vast majority of reported complications are related to the simultaneous overuse of HCG and HG (Human Menopausal Gonadotrophin) to provoke super ovulation in infertility cases. HCG Today Today, HCG is still recognized by many weight loss clinics for its abilities to help patients lose dramatic amounts of weight. The basic concept behind using HCG to aid in weight loss remains much the same as it was with Dr. Simeons´s initial studies, but it was recently taken to a whole new level with Kevin Trudeau´s bestselling book entitled “The Weight Loss Cures ´They´ Don´t Want You to Know About.” Although HCG has been around as a weight loss aid for over 50 years, it took Trudeau´s book to help spark new interest in its use. A great deal of controversy still surrounds HCG and whether or not it is effective at helping people lose weight. Nonetheless, there are many anecdotal records from people claiming that it has changed their lives. Pounds and Inches Away Is the brainchild of Linda Prinster, an advocate of the use of HCG protocol in the cure of obesity. After trying an HCG treatment herself, Linda was convinced of its effectiveness. Since then Prinster founded Pounds and Inches Away, a national HCG protocol centers that has locations in several states and has published several books; “HCG Weight

Loss Cure Guide” and “101 Worry Free HCG Diet Recipes”. She has helped hundreds of others achieve success on the protocol and finally lose their pounds and inches (typical weight loss of 20 to 30 lbs in about a month with no rebound or yo-yo effect.) for good. Unlike other HCG treatments that use injections or pills, Pounds and Inches Away decided to use the homeopathic version that is as effective as the other methods with additional benefits of accessibility and storage of the solution. Does this weight loss protocol work? And if so, why? What’s the difference that makes all the difference? Unlike Dr. Simeon’s Weight Loss Cure, most diets programs do not work because they do not address the root cause of obesity. The weight you lose on most diet and exercise programs is often not in “the problem area or abnormal fat deposits” like that seen in your neck, hips, thighs and buttocks. Most diet and exercise programs cause you to lose water, structural fat and muscle. People with excessive weight issues tend to share three similarities: 1. You suffer with a low metabolism. This means your body simply does not burn the food you eat as fuel as efficiently as someone operating with a higher metabolism. Naturally thin people burn calories and food quickly. Overweight individuals do not. To cure obesity, the challenge of operating with a low metabolism must be solved

Obese workers cost US 73 billion dollars a year

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bese workers cost US employers 73.1-billion dollars a year, much of it due to “presenteeism,” or being less productive on the job due to health problems, a study published early October shows. The dollar sum lost is the “equivalent of hiring 1.8 million workers a year at 42,000 dollars each, which is roughly the average annual wage of US workers. The study was led by Eric Finkelstein, deputy director for health services and systems research at Duke-National University of Singapore. Finkelstein and his team of researchers tallied medical expenditures, presenteeism and absence from work to put a dollar figure on the per capita cost of obesity among full-time US workers. Taking all three categories into account, the researchers calculated that the per capita cost of obesity was as high as 16,900 dollars a year for women who were roughly 100 pounds (45 kilograms) overweight, or had a body mass index over 40. For obese men with a BMI over 40, the cost was 15,500 dollars a year. By comparison, the cost of all three for normal-weight women and men

26 [ www.cityharmony.com [

was around 10,000 dollars a year. Regardless of weight, presenteeism was found to be “the largest single driver of the costs,” said the study, which was published in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine. It accounted for 56 percent of the total cost for obese women and more than two-thirds of the total for normal weight men. Presenteeism was defined as the average amount of time between arriving at work and starting work on days when an employee is not feeling well, and the average number of times an employee lost concentration, repeated a job, worked more slowly than usual, felt fatigued or “did nothing at work.” Medical expenditures due to obesity were calculated using a nationally representative survey from 2006. Obesity is defined as having a body mass index -- calculated by dividing a person’s weight in kilograms by their height squared in meters -- greater than 30. According to a study published in August in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, more than one in four US adults is obese.


and the weight loss cure does exactly that. 2. You are often hungry. A heavy person is physically hungrier than a naturally thin person. This is a real physiological response to the body requiring more fuel because of the increased size of their bodies. This is not a mental or psychological issue. It is a real physical issue that is addressed by the weight loss cure. 3. You often eat when not hungry. Compulsive eating, emotional eating and unnatural food cravings all fall into this category. This is a physical response that must also be addressed

and Dr. Simeon’s weight loss cure protocol also addresses this issue. In summary Using the Pounds And Inches Away weight loss program, all of these issues are addressed and handled easily. You can expect to lose an average of one pound per day with little to NO hunger.

You will lose the abnormal fat deposit and you will see your body transformed and reshaped (like a dramatic flattening of the stomach (especially men)) as if you had undergone liposuction. The beauty of it all is that you can do this with NO need for exercise. Satisfied losers (LOOSER means too big!) also report less aches and pains, overall feeling of wellbeing, and a huge confidence boost! Want to find out more about the HCG protocol? Call Pounds And Inches Away here in the Valley at (956) 205-0384 or (956) 205-0459 for a free consultation and start shedding your pounds and inches today.

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[27


South Texas Lyric Opera Opens 2010-2011 Season

by Francisco G. “Paco” Zarate

I

t’s that time of the year again. Two events have become legendary in South Texas. The older traditional event is the opening of deer season set for this year on November 6th. The newer traditional event is the opening of Giancarlo Menotti’s Amahl and the Night Visitors by the South Texas Lyric Opera (STLO). Two performances of this perennial favorite are scheduled for 8:00 P.M. on November 19th and 20th at the McAllen Civic Center. STLO’s artistic vision has always been the active engagement of the musical community of the entire Rio Grande Valley in performances of opera, oratorios and cantatas in South Texas communities. This vision has led the organization to choose the Menotti work as well as Giuseppe Verdi’s La Traviata for performances during the 2010-2011 season. Negotiations are still in progress for a possible performance of either opera in Harlingen, TX as well. It might be noted that Menotti’s opera brings with it the onslaught of the Holiday Season. Our annual attendance at Amahl and the Night Visitors brings out our yearning for Christmases past. As adults, it feeds on our images of a magical time in our former lives as children. The cold of winter, the bright star shining in the sky, the sound of Amahl’s pipe, the feeling that it is past Christmases-- all fascinate us as we hear the approaching Kings on their way to pay homage to the King of Kings. These sensations are heightened when we realize that poverty reigns in Amahl’s household (as it still does in so many Valley homes today.) We feel we know who can bring some relief to Amahl and his mother! It’s the Kings, of course! Menotti dwells on his own past as a child as we listen to the kings talking to Amahl. Amahl asks if they have royal blood. The kings answer “yes” but that it’s of no practical use. Menotti went on to portray King Casper as deaf, because he felt that this king must have never heard what he had requested for Sixth Night; i.e., the Feast of the Epiphany, since he never got it and got something different. Casper humorously answers questions with a “Eh! What did he say?”

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(Reminds me of a humorous rendition of a letter written in Spanish to the Three Kings and about “un par de medias coloradas” which the writer got instead of a bicycle.) Then, there is the quest for gold. The Kings begin the ensemble “Do you know a child the color of earth the color of gold?” which points toward a catharsis for all listeners at its conclusion. A miracle brings a cure for Amahl who has stood up to the Kings’ servant for trying to hurt his mother when she was caught trying to steal the gold. As Amahl finally leaves with the Kings to find the Christ Child, we return to the plaintive sound of Amahl’s pipe and we listen enthralled at what we have seen and our certainty that we can experience the magic once again during the next Christmas season. The children attending performances clap with joy at Amahl’s exit to find the Christ Child and to present his crutch as a gift to Him. (It is estimated that 13,000 school-aged Valley children have attended performances of the opera since STLO’s initial production in 2005.) STLO avails itself of beautiful sets and beautiful voices in its production of Amahl and the Night Visitors. It often reaches its artistic vision by using local talent. Amahl will be sung this year by young diva Hannah Urias who attends McAllen Memorial High School. The Mother will be entrusted to soprano Madeleine Elizondo. Vincent Contrell and Andrew Broadaway will sing Kings Balthazar and Melchior, respectively. The talented chorus is composed of dedicated singers who train weekly throughout the year. Although their harmonies would rival a group of mastersingers, they also form a quasicorps de ballet as demonstrated by their rendition of a tarantella for the Kings’ entertainment. The orchestra is composed of accomplished musicians from throughout the Rio Grande Valley and northern Mexico and their music-making is magical and transformational. As to Verdi’s La Traviata, the public might wonder why it is selected for production so often. In a phrase, because we can relate to its characters. It might be noted that Verdi Continued on page 26


had a personal stake in writing this opera. He had lived with soprano Giuseppina Strepponi outside the bonds of matrimony and this lends something biographical to the story of La Traviata. Violetta could well have taken on the identity of Peppina, as Verdi called La Strepponi. However, the similarity in the stories stops there. Verdi eventually married Peppina to please Catholic Italy whereas Violetta never married Alfredo. Instead, she sacrificed her happiness to preserving his family’s honor. La Traviata is a story to which we can all relate. In the final analysis, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. And the music, what a feast for our ears-from the familiar Libiamo (brindisi) to Ah! forse lui, from Di miei bollenti spiriti to Dite a la giovine, from Alfredo, Alfredo di questo cuore to Addio del passato, and from Parigi, oh cara! to Prendi, questo e l’immagine-- it’s a whole lifetime portrayed in song in the short span of two hours. In contrast to Amahl and the Night Visitors, the roles of Violetta, Alfredo, and Germont père will be sung by professional artists (more about casting later) while the comprimario roles will be taken by local talent. The chorus will perform again with the orchestra.

Both productions will be under the direction of Maestro Mazias de Oliveira who is the Founder and Musical Director of STLO. His intimate knowledge of every detail of an opera-from singing to conducting to set design to stage direction-guarantee that the audience will experience a memorable performance. The wardrobe mistress is none other than Edinir de Oliveira, President of the Board of Directors of STLO. One important fact, however, is that STLO cannot survive on ticket sales alone. It needs your financial support through donations that are tax-deductible for IRS purposes. STLO is a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) corporation. If you are as passionate about this art-form as I am, please help by mailing your monetary contributions to STLO at P. O. Box 3690, McAllen, TX. 78501-3690. Note that STLO maintains high artistic standards. These transcend our conscious level and take us to a plane in that part of our subconscious that harbors the world of opera. To paraphrase Stephen Brook in Opera Quotations, ponder this: opera lovers are fanatical about great singing; it is the most exhilarating experience, greater than deer hunting (and, perhaps, even the bedroom.) Hope to see you at the opera!

Why Children Should Be Exposed to Art t,JETMFBSOUPFYQSFTTGFFMJOHT XJUIPSXJUIPVUXPSET t,JETEJTDPWFSUIBUUIFSFJTNPSFUIBOPOFSJHIUBOTXFS  multiple points of view. t4DIPPMDBOCFGVOoQMBZJOHDBOCFMFBSOJOH t,JETMFBSOUPDPMMBCPSBUFXJUIPUIFSDIJMESFOBOEXJUI adults. t"SUTCVJMEDPOmEFODF#FDBVTFUIFSFJTOPUKVTUPOFSJHIU way to make art, every child can feel pride in his or her original artistic creations. t,JETMFBSOTUPUIJOLDSFBUJWFMZ XJUIBOPQFONJOE

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rt education can play a major role in a child’s academic and social development. Researchers tell us that getting an early start in the arts can make a real difference in the lives of children. They naturally love art – painting, drawing, making music, the theater. List of benefits of exposing children to art: t"SUTCVJMEDPNNVOJUZ4DIPPMTXJUIBWBSJFUZPGEJïFSFODFT can celebrate the arts as one community. t"SUTJOUSPEVDFDIJMESFOUPDVMUVSFTGSPNBSPVOEUIFXPSME t,JETMFBSOUPPCTFSWFBOEEFTDSJCF BOBMZ[FBOEJOUFSQSFU

The human brain consists of two parts, the left and the right hemisphere. The brain to be efficient, need both parts to be efficient. The left-brain is used in logical thinking and analytical processes. This is typically what is trained in school work that consists of math, reading and science. The right brain is used in emotional perception, intuition and creativity. It is the right brain that is mainly used when a person is involved in creative endeavors such as making art. It is this part of the brain that typical school environment neglects to train. By stimulating and exercising the right hemisphere of the brain, the arts strengthen the connection between the hemispheres. Children should be exposed to the arts as their cognitive skills mature so that their right brain will be as developed as the left, and both hemispheres work in tandem, thus achieving the full potential of the mind. Children who regularly participate in a comprehensive arts program have more chances of participate in math or science fair.

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[29


City Harmony Events Faithful Path International

Celebrates Fund Raising Dinner The Dockery residence hosted the first banquet for FPI where about 250 people gather to raise funds to build a community center in Fort Liberte Haiti. Also FPI has a local Medical Clinic in Edinburg TX where patients with low income and no insurance are treated free of charge. Dr Murali Namidi & Dr Christina Bui

Dr. Dona Cooper (center) with some members of the board

Alyssa Gonzalez

Eduardo Azcoitia and Anett Ramirez

Dolly Vinsant Hospital

Briefing Meeting For The Dolly Vinsant Memorial Hospital San Benito Enterprises along with National Health Care Development Partners & Nueterra Healthcare hosted a briefing meeting about the New Hospital plans in San Benito TX.

30 [ www.cityharmony.com [


La mesa esta servida

LOLO’S SMART CUISINE Es muy aventurado este tipo de cocina simplemente por estar fuera de lo convencional. Y por ello vaya el reconocimiento. En la preparación de cada platillo solo se utiliza ingredientes de alta calidad y como resultado los alimentos contienen un alto nivel nutritivo. El principal propósito de este restaurante es beneficiar la salud y ayudar a prevenir cierto tipo de enferme dades. El menú es interesante además de las combinaciones que tiene cada platillo cada uno cuenta con la información nutricional (nutrition facts). Uno de los platos más populares son los tacos de tilapia. Además tienen platillos especiales cada día. Cuenta con una decoración simple dando la impresión de natural y fresco. El precio va paralelo a la calidad de los ingredientes, es una Buena opción si quiere probar algo diferente y nutritivo. EL PASTOR GRILL Con una excelente decoración al estilo mexicano compuesta de hermosos candiles, piezas de cobre colgadas en paredes cubiertas de piedra y con una agradable música de fondo hacen un ambiente ideal para disfrutar con amigos y familia. La comida es exquisitamente deliciosa. La especialidad de la casa es el cabrito. Su menú cuenta con una amplia variedad de platillos y especialidades mexicanas. Al llegar lo primero que sirven son tortillas tostadas, frijoles negros con queso blanco y unas salsas con sabor 100% mexicano, en especial, la hecha en molcajete es una delicia. El personal muy amable, atento y rápido. El servicio y la calidad lo hacen altamente recomendable. El precio para algunos poco accesible pero vale la pena disfrutar esta comida de vez en cuando. Cuenta con Bar y música de piano en vivo los fines de semana a partir de las 6 de la tarde y área para comer en el exterior. FRIDAS GRILL & BAR Es uno de los establecimientos en la famosa calle 17 que recientemente abrió sus puertas. Con una excelente decoración y ambiente hacen de cualquier velada ya sea romántica o con amigos una experiencia inolvidable. Los platillos son decorados y creados a cargo del Chef Eleazar Rodríguez quien se esmera en deleitar a los paladares más exigentes. Después de una deliciosa comida con el autentico y tradicional sabor mexicano y unas tortillas de maíz recién hechas se puede seguir disfrutando del lugar en una área al aire libre donde cada fin de semana hay música en vivo para bailar bajo las estrellas a ritmo de cumbia, bachata, salsa, merengue entre otros. Del bar le sugerimos probar alguno de los refrescantes cocteles que se preparan tales como sangría, chamoy margarita o cucumber Martini. Es un lugar ideal para eventos privados. El menú es amplio y variado sin embargo ciertos platillos no están disponibles ya que todavía se [ [31 están haciendo algunas modificaciones.


Identifica y Supera la Infidelidad Por: Linda Guardiola

Miles de mujeres y hombres ven sus vidas destrozadas por la infidelidad. ¿Qué se puede hacer para evitarla? o ¿Cómo se puede superar este terrible suceso?

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ra un mes de enero cuando mi aun encuentra en casa. esposo llego y me dijo se acabo todo, Estudios sobre mujeres infieles realizados ¿Qué señales evidencian quiero el divorcio. Fue desconcertarte por Journal of Couple and Relationship infidelidad por parte escuchar eso después de 12 años de Therapy, muestran en sus resultados que existe de la mujer? matrimonio y tres hermosos hijos. Mi primera una especial propensión en las mujeres para t/PTBMFTJOQFSGVNFZFO pregunta fue “¿hay alguien más?” y claro la ser infieles a sus parejas, donde el total de ocasiones hasta cambia el respuesta fue negativa y con todo el dolor que mujeres infieles a la relación es del 45% al 55%. aroma sentía en ese momento le dije: “Yo me encargo El hecho de constatarse un mayor índice de de averiguar”. infidelidad femenina no es la única conclusión t#VTDBSPQBTFYZRVFMBIBDF lucir más atractiva Efectivamente a las dos semanas lo de los estudios, sino también que ellas son comprobé. Mi confianza en él era absoluta mejores infieles que los hombres; su cautela, t"MMMFHBSBMBDBTBQPOF y por ende me costó asimilar y creer lo que inteligencia e intuición son armas naturales a en silencio el teléfono había pasado. A mi mente llegaron muchas la hora de no ser descubiertas ante una falta en t4FNVFTUSBSFOPWBEB preguntas. Pase noches en vela llorando y la relación. tratando de entender que lo había llevado a Otro término para la infidelidad conyugal t4FSFBMJ[BEFQJMBDJØOEFGJOJUJWB cometer una infidelidad. Tristemente es una es adulterio. La Nueva Enciclopedia Británica o profunda situación muy común en nuestra sociedad. dice que: “el adulterio parece ser tan universal t4JFNQSFUJFOFEJOFSP Cada día familias se desintegran y como y, en algunos casos, tan común como el o por lo menos ya no pide consecuencia los hijos sufren la separación matrimonio”. De hecho, la investigadora t1BSBEFTQJTUBSTFWVFMWF de los padres. conyugal Zelda West-Meads establece que, amargada con el marido La infidelidad puede describirse como la peor aunque muchas veces el adulterio nunca llega y nada que él hace la satisface traición que sufre el ser humano ya que las a descubrirse, “toda la evidencia señala que promesas que en algún momento se hicieron estas estadísticas están creciendo” t1SFTFOUBDBNCJPTSFQFOUJOPT en el estado de ánimo han sido quebrantadas. Y por lo general el dedo acusador está completamente sobre Como se puede evitar la infidelidad t)BDFQMBOFTZOPMPTDPNVOJDB el que comete la infidelidad sin embargo no El matrimonio no es nada fácil, se requiere t4FQSFPDVQBQPSNFKPSBSTV debería ser así ya que la infidelidad se da como de mucho amor, empeño y dedicación. En un físico (se inscribe en el resultado de una crisis en la pareja en la cual la libro leí esta frase “como hacer que dos seres gimnasio) persona que es infiel sale en busca de aspectos imperfectos tengan una vida maravillosa”. no precisamente sexuales como se piensa Definitivamente nunca es tarde para aprender sino también de tipo emocionales, mentales y después de un divorcio he aprendido mucho. y físicos. En resumen, se desea aquello que no se tiene y que Además de los consejeros matrimoniales que en ocasiones temporalmente la otra persona se lo podrá proporcionar. por vergüenza o falta de tiempo no visitamos, también existe Siempre ha existido un mito de que el hombre tiende más a en el mercado una cantidad infinita de libros relacionados al ser infiel que la mujer debido a que tiene una mayor necesidad tema, internet es otra excelente fuente de información pero sexual. Hoy en día la mujer es infiel mucho más de lo que que pasa muchas veces creemos que lo sabemos todo y peor imaginamos y de igual manera sale en busca de lo que no aun asumimos que nuestro matrimonio marcha bien o al

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¿Qué señales son clave cuando existe una infidelidad por parte del hombre? t/PUJFOFRVFTFSUBOPCWJPDPO encontrar lipstick en el cuello de la camisa. Los comportamientos extraños son una clave perfecta. Eso si OPIBZRVFEFDJSOBEBTØMP observar la conducta. t%FVOEÓBQBSBPUSPTF preocupa por su físico y pasa horas en el gimnasio t-MBNBEBTNJTUFSJPTBTBM teléfono celular o “se equivocaron de número”, incidente que ocurre con frecuencia. t$BNCJBFMQMBOEFiNFOTBKFT de texto” a ilimitado y “a tí te envía uno al día”. t&MUFMÏGPOPDFMVMBSEJDFDVFOUB con un “password” que desconoces. El día que encuentras que no está bloqueado te das cuenta que el “voice mail” también tiene un “password”. t&ODVFOUSBTiEJGFSFOUFwSPQB interior a la que le has visto por muchos años t6OBUBSEFUFMMFHBDPOGMPSFT u otro detalle y te sorprende tanto que te preguntas ¿acaso olvide nuestro aniversario, es mi cumpleaños? t4FNVFTUSBNVZBMFHSFZ amable o bien descarga todo su nerviosismo en los hijos

menos mejor que otros. Nos olvidamos de buscar consejos, ayuda profesional, ideas o tips para hacer que nuestro matrimonio mantenga esa chispa y el compañero no fije sus ojos en otra persona. Son muy frecuentes los rompimientos de parejas con más de 10 años de relación y mucho se debe a que cada uno olvida su función dentro del matrimonio. En la actualidad son mayores las parejas en la que ambos trabajan y las tareas de la casa deben ser compartidas para no agregar tensión a la relación y esta pueda ser armoniosa e igualmente un buen ejemplo para los hijos. Como se supera una infidelidad “No obstante, cuando una persona es engañada por su pareja, sufre inmediatamente tres heridas: 1) dolor por el abandono (celos); 2) humillación (narcisismo y autoestima heridos); 3) rabia (odio, rencor, deseos de venganza)” Conforme a un artículo publicado por el psicoterapeuta y Escritor José Luis Cano Gil, la progresiva cicatrización de estas heridas exige vivenciar el siguiente proceso:

1. Expresar, desfogar las emociones ocasionadas no sólo ante la propia pareja, sino también con otros familiares, amigos, etc., que acompañarán y compartirán el dolor de la persona y le darán ánimo y consejo. 2. La persona engañada y su pareja infiel deberán afrontar con coraje el suceso e investigarán conjuntamente por qué se ha producido, es decir, cuál fue el significado de la infidelidad. 3. Resolver a fondo, si se quiere y se puede, todos los problemas encontrados. Si la pareja se ama y son lo suficiente maduros para completar este proceso, las heridas en ambas partes se disiparan gradualmente, la confianza estará presente otra vez y la relación puede llegar a ser mucho mejor. Pero si se dan muchos tropiezos en el proceso la ruptura llega a ser definitiva. “Naturalmente, la persona engañada puede optar desde el comienzo por el deseo de salvar el amor o por la separación. Pero cuando queda indefinidamente atrapada en un intenso amor-odio que la atormenta, paraliza y deteriora cada vez más la relación, entonces es muy aconsejable una psicoterapia”, advierte Cano Gil. Las mujeres principalmente se ven afectadas por la secuela que deja la infidelidad. Es un dolor agudo, interminable, que dura meses e incluso años después de dicha infidelidad, y que llena el corazón de estas personas de rabia, celos retrospectivos, inseguridad, desconfianza, resentimiento. La infidelidad no respeta clase social, está presente en todas partes y en todos los estratos socioeconómicos. Lo importante es prestar atención a la pareja, cultivar la relación, estar abiertos a resolver cualquier conflicto y buscar ayuda profesional.

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Juventud con Experiencia Por: Anett RamĂ­rez

El otro lado de la moneda

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l ser humano en muchas ocasiones siente que al llegar a cierta edad se convierte en un ser improductivo o casi un estorbo. Mantenerse activo física y mentalmente le ayudara disfrutar esta etapa de la vida y de igual manera le proporciona satisfacción el poder seguir siendo útil. Es de gran inspiración ver como personas aún en silla de ruedas o en una cama pueden seguir mostråndose felices y aún en la condición que se encuentran son fuente de motivación y sabiduría que adquirieron con el paso del tiempo, lo cual los convierte en buenos consejeros para nuevas generaciones. Un estilo saludable le ayudarå a prevenir enfermedades cardiovasculares, estimular la memoria, reducir las probabilidades de cåncer, reducir accidentes por falta de condición física axial como patologías degenerativas tales como el Altzeimer y de esta manera tener un corazón jovial y lleno de energía. Algunas ideas de actividades 1. Asistir a clases de Yoga, Baile 2. Cocinar nuevas recetas 3. Viajar o dar paseos al aire libre 4. Tomar fotografías 5. Jugar golf 6. Servir como voluntario 7. Hacer manualidades 8. Tomar clases de arte, música o pintura 9. Leer y escuchar música 10. Disfrutar la compaùía de amigos y familiares 11. Jardinería 12. Formar grupos de lectura La felicidad depende de la actitud Algunas personas de la tercera edad prefieren vivir en sus hogares que residir en las casas para ancianos. Una de las principales razones es por la depresión que algunos pueden sufrir en esos sitios. Prefieren disfrutar su jardín, convivir con gente de todas las edades y estar en contacto con la sociedad. En cambio otros no tienen la opción de elegir o simplemente les parece mås cómodo. Sin embargo actividades como las antes mencionadas y otras que se

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Como se sabe, la moneda tiene dos lados, y en este caso lidiar con este grupo de personas que por factores como la edad, enfermedad y la falta de optimismo se vuelven irritables. Existen momentos de enojo, tristeza, coraje y el estado de ĂĄnimo se vuelve muy cambiante debido a la EFQSFTJĂ˜ORVFTVGSFO Es importante que reciban amor y un trato amable. Se necesitan dosis de paciencia. En edad ya avanzada se vuelven como niĂąos y SFRVJFSFONBZPSBUFODJĂ˜O&T difĂ­cil aceptar que se llega a ser dependiente de ciertos aparatos y de la asistencia de otra persona para actividades cotidianas. Esa impotencia MFTDBVTBGSVTUSBDJĂ˜O1BSUF del envejecer felĂ­z tambiĂŠn depende como vivieron aĂąos anteriores. La familia y amistades son de gran ayuda pero tristemente por la misma irritabilidad estos se alejan.


4. Un pasatiempo es buena terapia 5. Asistir con ayuda en el hogar Los seniors citizens a la vanguardia en la tecnología Debido a la popularidad y al fácil acceso al Internet este grupo de personas se ha visto muy entusiasmado en navegar por la red, además que la gran mayoría de los empleos en la actualidad requieren conocimientos básicos de computación. Estadísticas recientes muestran este auge, 72% de americanos entre 50-64 años y 37% mayores de 65 años usan el Internet regularmente, aprovechando los beneficios de la tecnología como enviar correos electrónicos, socializar en la red, hacer videoconferencias, participar en los llamados “blogs” y encontrar información de cualquier tópico. Algunas frases Cuando envejecemos, la belleza se convierte en cualidad interior. Ralph Waldo Emerson Cuando me dicen que soy demasiado viejo para hacer una cosa, procuro hacerla enseguida. Pablo Picasso organizan en estas casas de retiro proporcionan distracción, entretenimiento y aprendizaje. En cualquiera de las situaciones la actitud frente a la vida es lo que determina el ser o no ser felíz. Sugerencias para ayudar cuando se vuelven irritables 1. Jugar algún juego de mesa 2. Planear un paseo por el parque o museo 3. Salir a ver una película o ir a comer

Envejecer es todavía al único medio que se ha encontrado para vivir mucho tiempo. Charles A. Sainte Beuve No envejezcas antes de tiempo: valora la vida hasta el final. Zenaida Bacardí de Argamasilla No me siento viejo porque tenga tantos años tras de mí, sino por los pocos que tengo por delante. Ephrain Kishon Pocos saben envejecer. François de La Rochefoucauld, Duque de Rochefoucauld

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