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To boldly go where no alternative weekly has gone before.

Think About It

by Noah Stroup The Sacrifice of Multitasking

VOLUME 3 NUMBER 132:1• JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010

CONTENT S Opi n i on s a n d Editor ia ls , b e t h e y ours or yours , t h i s i s wh e re th e y be.


D ir t s t ir


Pe e ps, h om i e s , bros , f olks , f r i e n d s , you, me, we.


Ric ha rd B err y


Ne ws is re la tive d on't you th in k?

6 da

V inci g re e n e r y


J o u r n a l i st s c a l l th e m f e a ture s; we say it's th e word.


da V in c i Day s


We ' l l b e t h e judge. You be th e jur tr us t us r ig h t?

11 The Last Airbender


Am a t e u r p ro se, poetr y and fi c t i on st i l l h a s a h om e.

12 “This is Why I Howl” 13 Cro s s wo rd 14 B U MP

I t ' s t h e c alendar of al l t h i n g s A l b a ny, Cor v a l lis , L e b e n on , a nd P h iloma th .



Editor Stanley Tollett Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Noah Stroup Contributors Cindy Dauer, Dirtstir, Louis Keys, Joel Rea, Dan Tyler, Larina Warnock




Art Director Courtney Clenney Cover Illustration by Jake Dorr


Account Executive Noah Stroup


The Alchemist is published weekly by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339

On the Cover

Jake Dorr has had three of his paintings featured on the cover of The Alchemist before. In 2009, Alchemist Readers awarded Jake third place for Best Local Artist.

“My method for painting is simple: take the ordinary and make it come alive. I love to pursue line and color in ways that either distill or distort reality into its essence. Whether it’s a portrait or a vantage point from being out in the world, transferring what I see onto canvas is a process and a journey I can always appreciate.” -Jake

Alchemist Mission

As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves.

The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist.

JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010

In case you haven’t noticed, texting while driving significantly decreases your ability to text in grammatically appropriate sentences. You may have even found yourself explaining the situation, “Sry. Drving.” I suppose it also hinders your driving, but that view depends on your priorities. The problem of multitasking plagues us all. From the micro scale to the macro, our desire to be increasingly efficient with our time has overshadowed our desire to do things to the best of our ability. Heck, it might not even be a desire to achieve ultimate efficiency, but a need to maintain a constant stream of stimulation that leads us to watch a movie while checking our email with a laptop and sending texts with a cell phone. What is the sacrifice of multitasking? In the examples above, incidents of accidents have increased exponentially since the advent of the text messaging. So much so that Oregon law now prohibits you from putting your hands anywhere near your phone while in transit. With the second example, I may be able to say that I saw Jaws: The Revenge, but that doesn’t actually mean I watched it and can comprehend what it was I saw. It would be more appropriate to claim that I happened to be in the room while it was on, though my attention fluttered. If the Oregon legislature is interested in protecting my still beating heart, who is going to look out for my greater well-being? Who is dedicating the resources to ensure that I do comprehend Jaws: The Revenge? Who is making sure that I live up to my potential by forcing me to dedicate my focus while engaged in certain activities? A professional athlete is able to successfully compete on that level because of his or her ability to maintain focus for the duration of the match. A musician develops the skills to consistently deliver a high quality performance through dedicated, focused practice. It’s quite possible that the only difference between a professional and an amateur is this ability to remove the desire to multi task, allowing for complete devotion to mastery of one thing. Take a musician gone actor or a running back gone outfielder, for example. It’s rare that they are ever the greatest in both worlds. At best, they are equally above average in each discipline. At least in those cases, the crossover is somehow related; emotional projection for the artist and physical prowess for the athlete. What does this mean for the average joe like you and I? Are we capable of being fully productive members of a local economy, plus the number one dad, plus the world’s greatest husband? The demands listed for each of the roles we take on in an average lifetime would show that it’s impossible to achieve greatness in more than one discipline. While at work, you’re planning how you’re going to pick up the kids, get groceries, and cook dinner all before taking everyone to see your high schooler’s performance of Grease. Meanwhile, your boss has been trying to explain what you should be doing for the next five hours. All that and you haven’t thought of how your marriage is suffering at the hands of the first two. Should we really blame celebrities, politicians, and athletes when their personal lives become a storm of failure? They’ve attempted to focus on one specific thing that allowed them to achieve success. They’ve become the poster children of the American Dream. Yet, when they fail, we celebrate their failure with such grandiosity that you’d think it’d be crazy to want that reach that level of accomplishment. It’s much safer down here on Earth where we set our goals low and keep our expectations dim. Reduce the chance of failure and save yourself the risk of mass ridicule. It sounds like complete happiness suicide. Rather, let’s start focusing on what is truly important in our lives. What makes me happy? Once I figure that out, I can willfully admit my limits. I know I can’t satisfactorily complete goals while attempting them all at the same time. My failures at multitasking make me miserable. My happiest moments are when I am able to maintain my mental presence in a situation. Well, what’s your perspective on these questions?


To the people of the Willamette Valley,


beautiful conspiracy is taking shape here and now. You are, without even realizing it, already a co-conspirator. By the sheer act of reading these words you are a part of it, a part of we.

Conspiracy is derived from the Latin term “to breathe with”. As a community we are experiencing some erratic breathing, and if we continue along this path there is a risk of suffocation. There is a disconnection in Corvallis between the students of Oregon State University and the more permanent residents. There is also a disconnection between Corvallis and Albany. These schisms are degrading the quality of life one can experience here. So much is possible if we can help each other learn to breathe together, or conspire, for the mutual benefit of everyone involved. The potential for creating a new way is real, and The Alchemist believes the best opportunity is here, now... with you. So how do we go about accomplishing this? The manner in which it occurs is highly dependent on you (the community member, the business owner, the student, the artist) What The Alchemist aspires, or breathes towards, is to provide a forum and centralized resource to aid in the community in conspiring together for the good. Think of it as a sort of mental yoga class that starts every Tuesday and lasts all week in the minds of the readers. We need your help. In return we will give ours. We hope to learn and to teach us how to breathe together as a community. In our pages and through our fund-raising and community outreach projects we will raise the collective awareness about the expansions and contractions taking place in our community. The influx and exodus of the OSU students, the growth of local businesses and organizations and the political and economic fluctuations that effect our daily lives. As one of the most highly educated populations in the nation, most of you are familiar with the college experience. Certainly, those of you attending the various institutions of higher learning in the area are acutely aware. For many, years spent at university provoke more questions than a classroom can answer. What do I do with my life now that I have this knowledge? Where do I fit in the world. The more you learn in life, you realize just how little one can actually know. This is a common experience and an expansion and contraction in its own way. The Alchemist is a place where we can all attempt to answer these questions together. The world is shrinking every day with the advent of new technologies and transportation. At the same time it seems as though we are on the verge of a massive expansion, the extent and ramifications of which are yet to be seen. This next step is the most important thing that will happen in our lifetime. No contraction exists without a resulting expansion. Just as the tide rises up to lick at the sandy shore it recedes each time to prepare for its return. This phenomenon is itself a deep and gigantic breath of the ocean. As residents of the Willamette Valley we are blessed with an embarrassment of riches–our culture, our vegetation and wildlife, our delicious food and drink and most importantly, you, the people. We are the most precious resource of all, because the responsibility to be good stewards of this place falls to us. And thus, the conspiracy of The Alchemist is as follows. To change our lives for the better requires a close partnership between The Alchemist as a publication and You as a reader/ co-conspirator. We have taken the first step, but the next step requires your help. We cannot do this alone. Let us work with you to enrich our lives and our community. Let us provide you with information and entertainment. Let us learn and help us teach one another. Let us breathe... together. Yours truly and respectfully, Stanley Tollett Editor connecting good food & good people since 1970! South Corvallis 1007 SE 3rd St (541)753-3115 NEW! Open 7-9 North Corvallis NW 29th & Grant (541)452-3115 Open 7-9

pendent g roce i n r d e p e ries fo



t minds!


What's eating him?

Takeru Kobayashi, that guy famous for eating all those hotdogs seems to have been arrested for rushing the stage after an eating contest. He was watching from the audience because of a contract dispute with Major League Eating, when the audience’s chanting of his name prompted him to attempt getting on stage, resulting in charges of trespassing, resisting arrest, and interfering with police. Kobayashi said the MLE contract was restrictive because it banned him from non MLE competition in the US and Canada for a year, citing competitive eating as his only source of income. MLE chairman George Shea calls Kobayashi a “fearsome competitor” who “did great things for our sport”. Maybe Kobayashi should take some pointers from Dennis Rodman (Did someone say, “Who?”). It is not uncommon for professional franchises to restrict the activities of their investments. Bo Jackson’s career with the Chicago White Sox ended when he injured himself playing football for the Oakland Raiders. This is a blatant example of humans as chattel. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, it is simply the exchange of one’s time, talents and efforts for compensation, and sometimes the exchange rate sucks. That someone can call an exhibition of gluttony “sport” is a bit of a reach, though there are inherent injuries to overeating; diabetes, distensions, ruptures, and the loss of ability to process food and poop.

Suits me

The U.S. Justice Department has filed suit against Arizona’s new immigration laws. In their brief, the government stated, “Although a state may adopt regulations that have an indirect or incidental effect on aliens, a state may not establish its own immigration policy or enforce state laws in a manner that interferes with federal immigration law.” Arizona’s law interferes because it, “...disrupts federal enforcement priorities and resources that focus on aliens who pose a threat to national security or public safety. ... If allowed to go into effect, [its] mandatory enforcement scheme will conflict with and undermine the federal government’s careful balance of immigration enforcement priorities and objectives.” Arizona is applying state penalties to acts already illegal under Federal law. What are the federal “priorities and objectives” needing balanced? Focusing on the international drug and gun trafficking and de-emphasizing illegal immigration as prioritization of money and energy. I can’t blame them if the resources are limited, but focusing on guns and drugs is an Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms thing. Does ATF have budget problems affecting the performance of their duties? This year’s budget was $1.12 billion for 5,100 employees, with $18 million earmarked for 45 officers on the Southwest Border area. The Border Patrol had a 2009 budget of $3 billion for 18,000 employees. The Department of Immigration needs to enforce immigration. Yes, there will be overlap, Immigration officers will catch drug and gun runners and ATF will get “illegals”. If a state wants to emulate Federal law and enforce it in that state using that state’s resources, what’s the problem? Feds, enforce the Federal immigration laws fully or take the help and let Arizona do your job.


I survived another fourth of July. Got down just after dark to people watch. It was pretty surreal under the Harrison bridge and north. Strobe-like flashes and bursts reflecting phantoms and shadows across the clouds of smoke from the last round of citizen provided pyrotechnics. And field burning was banned? Smoking debris was strewn wherever one’s eyes landed. Moving north, the crowd became denser, more serious about their fireworks, the vibe unspeakingly discouraging others from lighting off their Oregon approved pathetic second (hardly) bests. They were here for the show. I settled on the Rivergreen office complex lawn just north of El Presidente, and had a view between some large trees. I tranced out staring at the dark patch of sky between the trees where the explosions occurred. Anticlimactic. Spaced right through it. And oddly, I felt as though I had unquestioningly participated in some weird ritual. Felt kinda good. –TCj

The Alchemist welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to our Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. YOUR VOICE: YOUR SCOOPS: YOUR WORDS: CONTACT US: 541.760.9207


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


O'pining Pints Several weeks ago when I first began thinking about


writing for The Alchemist, I called my brother Kirby, editor and reporter at large for the Hood River News, for some professional advice. “Wow!” he quipped, quickly followed with a “that’s great!” He has always had a penchant for writing and in particular for words, rather queer and obscure words that one might only expect to read in The New Yorker. “The first thing you need to do is to get yourself a name, sort of like a startup band; even before you play a note you gotta have yourself a name!” This is where we back-pedal 14 orso-years to about the time I was getting ready to hang my shingle for Corvallis Brewing Supply. Even back then he asked, “have you got yourself a name?” And so it goes these days, around family gatherings or during the initial stages of a phone conversation he will, with a curl in his upper lip that indicates a restricted chortle, ask me, “How’s ‘F.U.T.B.?” (That would be “Fill Up This Bucket”) His list of about 43 names for my vulnerable and tender start-up business included the likes of, “Mr. Foamal,” and “Gee, Your Beer Smells Terrific!” This past Father’s Day around the family dinner table the highly anticipated moment of discussion began with, “So, have you got a name for you column yet, because if you haven’t...well, WE’VE GOT A FEW RECOMMENDATIONS!!” From the list of 33 some of my favorites include, “The Mash,” “Joel’s Jabbles”, “I Have Comments,” “Keg o’ Comments,” “Hey You Kids Get Off My Lawn!,” “Flingin’’ Peat,” and “Mr. Foamal Ties One On.” Although I did not admit it in front of the Saturday, July family24th, because we9:00 all knowpm he’s nuts, I vowed to take on of one Brew of his selected names forRelease this column.Party The ALE-chemist Challenge Welcome to the first column of O’pining Pints, the with the Turntable Enabler everything about beer, wine, cider, mead, sake and all other things under the sun with somewhat related alternative news to the alcohol industry. This all began quite a few months ago with the strong arm of The Alchemist, Noah, telling me, “I don’t care what you write about, we just want you to write.” During my initial conversation with my brother Kirby I asked him, “how do you do it? What does it take to crank out a story week after week after week?” He said, “sometimes, I just sit at that keyboard and hit myself over the head with a hammer in order to get something out.” After a short pause he continued, “you know, someone once told me, “write about what you know and use what you know to find new things to write about.” I think that was just about one of the most profound things I had ever heard, at least in the early stages of my journalism career. Check in weekly with The Alchemist to see what sort of jabbles Joel has got. I’m quite sure that there will be some weeks when what you are reading looks like a hammer into the head and I do apologize! Profusely! So buy me a beer sometime, okay! Some things that you can expect and anticipate: Every week a review of one wine and one beer with an occasional hit on sake, mead, cider or other alcoholic review. Randomly, I’ll blow the foam off subjects such as local or new watering holes, specialty bottle shops, home fermenting topics. There will be interviews and discussions with brewers and wine makers and informative scoops on such topics as beer taxes and the meltability of cheeses on pizza. On occasion I’ll see what other folks, such as my Belgian beer drinking pal and beer Historian Kendall Staggs, have to say. As with any words, printed or said, there will be the occasional contention of disagreement and potential offense to you; thus the dangers of print. If you should come across something that you feel I should look into please contact me. Until next week, I’d appreciated it if you would all raise your glass, virtual or real, to toast Noah and for his dream for a legit weekly alternative rag serving the Mid-Willamette Valley! –Joel Rea


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


300 SW Jefferson Ave Corvallis, OR






2527 NW Monroe Corvallis, OR 97330 541-757-7221 Monday thru Friday: 11 am – Midnight Saturday: 5 pm – Midnight Closed Sunday

The starman


having one of the most pleasurable and awe-inspiring conversations of my life. I have the strong sense that I have been blessed with a rarified experience. I got to speak with a true visionary. And you can too. Richard Berry came to see the stars in an ironic way. It’s amazing really, and yeah I’ll say it...the stuff of legend. But I’ll just let Richard tell it. “When I was kid I was real nearsighted, they didn’t figure it out until the sixth grade that I had never been able to read the blackboard. When I got glasses and all of a sudden I could see stars and they were real. Years earlier my dad had gotten a little telescope that had been sitting in the attic for a decade and tanley ollett I said “Isn’t there a telescope in the attic.” Dad says yeah. So we got it out and I took it over, it was mine. It was pretty broken down, but my dad knew a local amateur astronomer, he showed me how to grind glass to make a telescope mirror. So I made a small telescope of my own, and then I made another one and another one.” Berry was 13 years old. But don’t call him a prodigy, he strongly believes that what he did is well within the capabilities of anyone that age. In fact, Berry has his hopes pinned on the possibility of inspiring some youngsters in the crowd at da Vinci Days. We were in agreement that the future of science and our continued exploration into the heavens is almost entirely dependent on the children of today. Perhaps you or your daughter or son will become the next When Berry looks up Carl Sagan, the next Richard Berry. at the night sky his Berry started studying experience is two fold. physics at the University “I look with two sets of Virginia, but quickly found his way back into of vision... his passion...astronomy. It’s kinda neat.” After matriculating, and gaining further degrees and experience working in the field with telescopes and at planetariums, Berry stumbled upon a magazine sitting around one day and decided to pick it up. Inside was an ad, Wanted : Technical Editor. It was at Astronomy Magazine. He worked there for the next 16 years. Gaining accolades and authoring a number of books about astronomy, one of which, Build your own Telescope, teaches kids young and old how to build their own telescope. When Berry looks up at the night sky, his experience is two fold. The amazing beauty that we all see when we lay on our backs and stare up on a clear night. But Richard Berry sees a little further. Because of his extensive experience studying astronomy, Berry is able to actually gauge his relative position in the milky way. “I look with two sets of vision. One is the sort of purely experiential. And the other is knowing or having a fairly good sense of what I’m looking into as I look into that space...It’s kinda neat.” said Berry. Berry sometimes refers to stars as ”those guys”, sort of like they are old friends. I can’t be completely sure, but I would be willing to bet that the stars feel the same about him. Personally I could listen to Richard talk for hours, days. I laid on the floor with my speakerphone on and was utterly enthralled. He brought me right back to my childhood, laying in a field in south Texas, staring up at the vast gorgeousity that unfurled above me. Mr. Berry’s masterful understanding of his field is without question. When you listen to him talk about the planets and stars, one gets the impression, accurately, that you are learning something profound with every sentence. But it is his patience, generosity and gentle tone that set Berry apart (from many great minds). He hasn’t lost even the tiniest bit of that childlike awe and giddy curiosity that fueled his inspiration since he first got glasses and was able to really see the stars. Come and sit with mouth agape and wide eyed wonderment as Richard Berry speaks at The LaSells Stewart Center at OSU on Friday, July 16 from 7:00 pm- 8:30 pm.


Illustrations by Santiago Uceda

Picture the cosmos Technologically-infused stylings emblazon da Vinci Days poster


tarting with ink and paper, illustrator Santiago Uceda scrolled out three sketches. Black and white drawings were awash

with symbols from Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks and inspired by Aztec images of the universe. Each outline had the same theme: the cosmos.

Before long, one of these musings would evolve into the 2010 da Vinci Days festival poster. After getting some feedback, committing to a draft, and creating a tighter rendition, Uceda–a Corvallis resident–uploaded the image to his computer and digitally added a mix of colors and textures. Using Photoshop, he played with several hues indy auer and schemes; he opened and closed the celestial body’s eyes. The resulting poster represents a hybrid of traditional and digital techniques. Uceda’s style has been classified by some as urban folk art. By invoking a sense of sublime wonder, the harmonic design appropriately represents the da Vinci Days festival – Corvallis’s celebration of science, music, and art. The theme for the event this year: the cosmos. In addition to sampling cosmic inspiration, Uceda incorporated elements from mid-20th century science fiction movie posters into the design, specifically those “campy” posters closely associated with the directorial works of Ed Wood. Uceda said his intent was to give the da Vinci Days poster “low-fi” appeal. This was not the Peruvian-born artist’s first foray into promotional works of art. Uceda has created posters for bands such as Built to Spill, Finn Riggins, and Jared Mees


and the Grown Children. His designs have also graced RYZ shoes and publicity materials for Billabong, Adidas, and the Society6 Portland poster series (featuring a cyclops bigfoot riding a bicycle in the rain). Along with his exhibition pieces, Uceda - a self-described outsider artist - regularly participates in private and group art shows. He is also a member of the Black Rock Collective, a sort-of digital artists’ guild. By day, Uceda is a senior graphic designer for Oregon State University. He’s lent his talents to the cover and layout of OSU’s Terra magazine, which chronicles the research efforts of students and faculty. He also works on other print, web, and motion graphics projects. Uceda trained as a graphic designer at California State University in Fullerton. He now lives in Corvallis with his wife and two children. They regularly attend the da Vinci Days festival. Having seen the da Vinci Days posters from years past, Uceda was inspired and wanted to add his own flair to the festival. Prints of the poster will be available at the da Vinci Days store located near the festival’s main gate. They range in price from $20 for a standard print to $50 for a collectable giclée print.

ho is Richard Berry? I’m still not quite sure, even after researching his career as an astronomer and editor emeritus for Astronomy Magazine, and



JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


Alchemist unveiled


wild-haired alchemist stands hunched over his work in the 10 x 12 foot windowless basement of the historic Benton


Building. The stagnant air fills with fumes as he continues his experiment; the gears of the printer whirl. Like many before him, this humble alchemist has a goal: take common elements and transform them into something valuable. For alchemists of the past, this endeavor usually involved turning lead into gold. But for our modern-day alchemist, Noah Stroup, it was more of a symbolic transmutation. His elements weren’t so concrete. Instead, he was working with the cultural components of Corvallis indy auer musicians, artists, writers, students, locals, and business owners. His gold: an independent weekly publication that would provide a forum for the voiceless while promoting the community. Stroup, an Oregon State University philosophy graduate and musician, recognized the potential for more arts and entertainment coverage in the area. So, he began to design his own experiment. One July morning in 2007, he wrote down his hypothesis on a Sessions beer coaster. “Corvallis Weekly,” it said, “Independent ‘art’ paper.” He took out a personal loan and bought a substantial Xerox printer, which he tucked into the breakfast nook at his rental home. He asked some local business owners to buy an ad to support the endeavor. He added some content. He created The Alchemist. Stroup designed, published, wrote for, and promoted The Alchemist. He stuffed issues in his backpack and then made rounds delivering it downtown. He drove around Corvallis


and distributed it to other locations too. Sometimes The Alchemist received a sincere welcome, other times it An Independent Weekly promoting the Arts and Minds of Corvallis. was sincerely rejected. One restaurant owner asked him not to bring it around at all; two others wanted it pulled when customers complained about the f-word, and a fourth told him, “Don’t bother leaving that here; nobody reads it anyway.” Stroup refused to be discouraged. He persevered and continued his quest. The weekly kept printing. Artists, writers, poets, creative-types and more started submitting material. A regular column was established; Stanley Tollett became the editor. Toward the end of the first year, Stroup developed the Alchy Awards, giving the readers a chance to nominate and vote for their favorite local businesses and token cultural icons in the area. After more than 52 weeks had come and gone, Stroup celebrated the one-year anniversary of The Alchemist with a party at Platinum, a Corvallis dance club. Stairway Denied, a Led Zeppelin tribute band for which Stroup is the lead singer, performed. He never thought he would make it that far. The Alchemist went on. Stroup brought on more advertisers. Beyond publishing the ‘zine every week, Stroup developed The Alchemist Brew Challenge. Local home brewers could enter their craft beers and compete for the title of the 2009 official beer of The Alchemist and have their beer on tap at Block 15. Portions of the proceeds from sales (around $300) went to the Linn-Benton Food Share. Look for the 2010 winner to be released at Block 15 this month. Continued on page 7

Da Vinci Days greenery


hile the da Vinci Days festival seems to grow larger year, its ecological footprint is actually shrinking. Not only are festival organizers making major efforts

to reduce the amount of waste produced at da Vinci Days this year, attendees to the festival can learn about the latest in green technology, and are encouraged to use alternative forms of transportation to get to the festival. You won’t see trash bins overflowing with sticky, smelly garbage at da Vinci Days. In fact, you may see little if any trash that will end up in the landfill. “The goal is to become a zero-waste festival,” said Andrea Norris, outreach coordinator for Oregon State University’s campus recycling who also helps manage waste disposal at da Vinci Days. With the goal of sending no trash to the dump, the waste at the festival must either be recycled or indy auer composted. In order to reach this goal, all of the food vendors at da Vinci Days will be serving plates, cups, and utensils made of plantbased, compostable plastics. Instead of tossing these items in the garbage, festival-goers will be able to place them in the compost/yard debris bins. All the compost from the festival will be collected and taken to Allied Waste’s new compost facility near the Coffin Butte Landfill, according to Pete Lepre, campus recycling manger. For your disposal needs, there will be several waste stations around the food court and the festival. Each station will have three containers including a 35-gallon trash can, a 65-gallon recycling bin, and 90-gallon compost/yard debris receptacle. Not only will there be large compost bins, the waste stations will have signs explaining what should be deposited where. Also, volunteers will be monitoring the area to help ensure that people aren’t throwing recyclable and compostable materials in the wrong bin. Though the festival may not reach the goal of producing zero waste this year, it’s getting closer.



JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


“We are moving in that direction,” Norris said. “We are taking giant steps.” To help people understand whether an item is unrecyclable (garbage), recyclable, or compostable, da Vinci Days Executive Director Brenda VanDevelder has created three cartoon waste monsters. These monsters will be used to help educate festival-goers about the three components of solid waste. Monster Lil’ Eddie represents the garbage that ends up in the trash and landfills, Miles is the recycling monster, and Denson is the composter. Look for monster biographies and merchandise at the da Vinci Days store. While you can get a mini-lesson about recycling and composting at the waste stations and from the monsters, the entire area of the festival known as Green Town provides opportunities for attendees to learn about incorporating ecological awareness into their own lives. It teaches about green living and building, diverse aspects of sustainability (economic and social), as well as alternative transportation. Topics will include gardening, lighting, planning for the future, and new advances in hybrid and electric cars among other things. Continued on page 7

History cont'd from page 6

Sculptures in motion Graand Kinetic Challenge rolls with da Vinci Days


he kinetic energy of an object is the energy which it possesses due to its motion. It is defined as “the work needed to accelerate

a body of a given mass from rest to its current velocity.” The Gambit is a mutant whose primary ability is the manipulation of energy to convert the potential energy of non-living matter into kinetic energy. The conversion process, referred to as charging, often results in a violent and powerful explosion. The explosion is proportional to the size of the object. Brenda VanDevelder, da Vinci Days Executive Director, might not be thinking about the Marvel comics mutant super hero while she leads a citizen-volunteer an yler work-force of many working yearround in Festival planning and organizing the annual festival in Corvallis, Oregon. Indeed, the three-day sensory experience is inspired by the Renaissance man himself, Leonardo da Vinci, whose creative renaissance genius spanned art, science, and technology. However, based on the gruelling race course, thousands of shop-hours, and a driving goal to make the wackiest human-powered all-terrain vehicles on the Left Coast (which tend to collapse, explode, and otherwise fall into pieces en route) she might well have a summer blockbuster sci-fi film hero in mind...brought to life the third weekend in July on Oregon State University’s Lower Campus and downtown Corvallis. Da Vinci Days unleashes hundreds of outstanding artists, engineers, teachers, community organizations, and individ-



After printing 131 issues as an eightpage periodical on glossy paper, The MidWillamette Valley Alchemist has taken on a new form. What you are holding now is pure gold, in the sense that it represents the realization of Stroup’s experiment. As a result, Corvallis, Albany, Lebanon, and Philomath residents now have an outlet. People in the Mid-Willamette Valley have a venue to amplify their free speech. Together with editor Stanley Tollett, and graphic designer Courtney Clenney, they formed CorvAlcheMedia, LLC. Between the three and with the help of a few dedicated contributors, Stroup hopes to share his precious metal with more readers. From now on, The Alchemist Weekly of the Willamette Valley will be a new size and have a new look, but it will still have the same purpose: giving a voice to the community. Local contributions are still welcome, in the form of letters to the editor, artwork, opinion pieces, rants, raves, stories (fiction and non), poems, anything really. The Alchemist, as a publication, melds all these views and opinions together to form a valuable contribution to the community. That’s one connection to alchemy. The other is the name. Stroup says the title of The Alchemist, the leading local alternative print magazine in the Mid-Willamette Valley, was inspired by Paulo Coelho’s 1988 novel of the same name. As a child, Stroup had been given a copy of the book which tells the story of a young boy trying to fulfill his personal legend. Stroup admits that at eleven years old, he didn’t really understand the message. Years later, during the winter of 2007, Stroup took a cross-country train ride to his home state, North Dakota. He brought the book with him and re-read it. This time he didn’t miss the message.

uals in multiple venues in Corvallis with a dizzying array of events for kids of all ages, providing wild activities such as innovative art contests, as well as scientific and technological spectacles, and even demos of pioneering advances in sustainable living. This year’s festival theme, Cosmos, features businesses and organizations that are creating a healthier planet by incorporating sustainability into their products, services, or practices. Their exhibits educate attendees about how they can reduce the impact of their lifestyle choices. On Friday evening and Saturday morning, visitors can check out the Entek Grand Prix Electrathon for a peek into the silent and fast world of electric cars built by local and regional teams. Additionally, the Children’s Village hosts over twenty exhibits and activities for kids of all ages to explore art and science with other events including the Community Art Project Space Odyssey, a creative display of whimsical art, and Sidewalk Chalk Art on Saturday. There is, of course, a diverse musical line-up including evening performers and non-stop daytime shows including a poetry slam, but the raison d’être for this debacle is clearly the Graand Kinetic Challenge. Continued on page 10

Green cont'd from page 7

Festival parking will be easiest for those who choose pedal power instead of fuel, as cyclists can leave their ride with a da Vinci Days bike valet. Last year, the bike valets parked over 2,000 bikes for the festival. Organizers say they expect that number to increase. When you get to the festival’s main gate, the valets (mostly American Dream Pizza employees who are donating their time) will attach a number to your bike and give you a laminated copy of the number. They park your bike for you, and in the festival you go. If you can ride your bike to the festival, the bike valet is just one of the perks. “There isn’t a whole lot of parking in that area,” said Mark O’Brien, manager of American Dream Pizza downtown who has helped run the bike valet for the last few years. “Plus riding your bike is good exercise.” The festival also offers free shuttles around downtown Corvallis, the da Vinci Days festival grounds, and sites of the kinetic sculpture race which takes place in various locations around the city. Da Vinci Days hopes to become a model for other festivals in its efforts to reduce waste, educate its attendees, and encourage alternative transportation.

Kinetic sculpture from da Vinci Days 2005 photo by: Andy Purviance


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


Leonardo's reprise History comes alive through da Vinci Days


he stellar explosion of art, science, technology, music, and food known as da Vinci Days will once again fuse together the elements that compose Corvallis on July 16-18. In its 22nd year, the festival will

include a galactic collection of happenings. The weekend line-up features a kinetic sculpture race, community art displays, electric car races, an acrobatic dance troupe, and a variety of musical acts and performances, to mention a few highlights. “It’s a celebration of Corvallis,” said Kavinda Arthenayake, president of the da Vinci Days board of directors. “The festival encapsulates who we are in three days.” In addition to the events, people gravitate to da Vinci Days for the vast array of demonstrations, informative presentations, and hands-on opportunities. In the area of the festival known as Green Town, people learn about the latest in compostable plastics and hybrid cars. Inside the Art Exhibit zone, attendees meet local creative types and get involved in the Mid-Willamette Valley arts community. For the youth, there are opportunities in the Children’s Village to juggle, practice martial arts, and make jewelry. This year, the festival theme is the cosmos. Cosmic inspiration will radiate throughout various elements of the festival. Keynote speaker and astronomer Richard Berry will discuss the declassification of the space object formerly known as the planet Pluto. Participants in the community art project will represent indy auer a visual space odyssey with rockets, stars, moons, and other celestial objects. Also, the essence of the cosmos has been captured by local artist Santiago Uceda, who designed the festival poster this year. The main festival grounds and most of the events revolve around Oregon State University’s lower campus fields, though a few activities are planned for other locations. Be sure to check the schedule and consult the festival map to pinpoint sites and times of events. So what propels this annual festival of technological artistry? If you break it down, the calculations are pretty impressive. Some 1,000 volunteers grease the festival gears by offering their assistance and expertise. The volunteers do everything from changing out compost and recycle bins to running a  poetry slam. “Volunteers are really the backbone of the festival,” said Brenda VanDevelder, executive director of the da Vinci Days festival since 2005. “It wouldn’t be possible without them.” Of those volunteers, 750 help propel the “Graand” Kinetic Challenge. For this race, competitors pedal their sculptures on wheels around Corvallis. The course pits the art-racers through a variety of terrain including mud, water, sand, and asphalt. Besides the volunteers, approximately 200 festival-goers will contribute a piece of work to the community art project. Another 160 people will participate in the sidewalk chalk art event, and about 50 people will march and ride in the kinetic parade. All together, around 20,000 people are expected to attend da Vinci Days. For all of those people, there will be 75 exhibitors, 20 portable toilets (serviced throughout the weekend), and some 2,000 bicycles parked by the da Vinci Days bike valet. Between entertainment and amenities, the festival will cost around $300,000 this year. Approximately 60 percent of the festival cost is paid for by admission fees. A weekend pass



JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


da Vinci Days 2010 FRIDAY



costs $15, a day pass $10. The remainder of the budget comes from donations, sponsors, and grants. da Vinci Days is a non-profit organization. So why the name da Vinci Days? “It seemed to fit,” said Keith Mobley, a festival founder and the man widely credited with developing the concept and name for da Vinci Days during early planning sessions in 1988. Mobley, who was an assistant to the OSU president at the time and was active in the Corvallis Chamber of Commerce, had been reading about Leonardo da Vinci. “Da Vinci was strong in science, but he was also strong in art,” explains Mobley. Mobley recognized that da Vinci - the  Italian Renaissance man who was a painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, geologist, botanist, and writer - embodied all that is Corvallis. Others agreed. “It made perfect sense for Corvallis,” said Charles Vars, who served as the Corvallis mayor from 1987 to 1994. “It was the integration of community interest, activities, and economic lifeblood.” Using da Vinci as the figurehead, the festival parasol was extended to cover the university, progressive local business, innovative private industry, and members of the arts community. Because of da Vinci’s broad scope of interest, nothing seems out of place at the festival. “I love that we can add so many things and everything fits,” said VanDevelder. “It’s all about creativity” So da Vinci makes sense. But why did they want a festival at all? “Portland had the Rose Festival; Albany had Veteran’s Day. Corvallis needed a signature event,” said Tom Ahlers, who owned Town and Country Realty at the time and was also active in the chamber. “Every town, whether big or small, has a signature event.” After the idea was conceptualized, Ahlers, Mobley, and a group of dedicated locals began building support for the festival. They hired a director, Laurie Hendrick, and pitched the idea to the community. The city, county, university, CH2M Hill, Hewlett Packard, and local business owners all got involved. The arts community came, and the first year was a success.  “It was good for the morale of the city,” said Hendrick, who noted there was a void in Corvallis at the beginning of the summer that needed to be filled. As well as attracting local researchers, business people, industry insiders, and artists, the festival’s variety of events pulled a diverse group of attendees. Families, scholars, young professionals, and retirees all attended. Many say da Vinci Days still has that draw.

“It appeals to everybody,” said Dick Toliver, a Corvallis resident who has attended the da Vinci Days with his daughter since 1989. “There is something for people of all ages.” How has da Vinci Days continued to thrive? Many believe while it has grown, it has stayed true to the original vision. The initial goal was not only to entertain, but to inform. Meaning the exhibitors are there to teach you something, not sell it to you.  “It’s an educational festival at the core,” said VanDevelder. “It’s about being open to learning.” While the backbone of the festival is the educational component, combining that with music and food sets da Vinci Days apart. “People really enjoy the fact that you can go and listen to a talk about volcanoes or space. You can hear great music, and get a beer and a piece of pizza,” Hendrick said. “It’s that diversity which makes it really successful.” Why does Corvallis need da Vinci Days? A festival like this helps to build the Corvallis culture, even in a busy, bustling and fragmented world. “We live in a time of fractured community,” VanDevelder said. “This event helps bring people together.” As the festival organizers look to the future, they plan to keep the festival fresh and reflective of the community by adding new events. “We are innovative,” Arthenayake said. “We keep re-evaluating what we need to be as a festival.” A focus this year will be reducing the amount of garbage produced that weekend in an attempt to become a zero-waste festival. VanDevelder doesn’t anticipate that da Vinci Days will achieve that goal this year, but it will be a step in the right direction.


 LEO 500


 PRIUS PLUG-IN HYBRID ELECTRIC VEHICLES for complete schedule including times visit

Illustration by Santiago Uceda


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


Sculptures cont'd from page 7

The race features moving works of art, pedalled by humans over a rigorous, all-terrain course by teams of fun-loving racers. These masterpieces of engineering move in all kinds of ingenious ways and are sculpted into all sorts of fantastic shapes such as sea anemones, school buses, flying pink elephants, slices of cheese, and yellow submarines, just to name a few. Moreover, the racers and their pit crews are part of the art, decked out in costumes, while trying to out-compete each other in the scramble towards the finish line. Graand Kinetic Challenge teams are out to prove their sculptures are the best in several arenas: Art, Engineering, Speed, and Pageantry. Their biggest test is the racecourse itself, over which, racers must ride ten miles of city streets, across a man-made sand dune, then half a mile of sundried, clay pasture, through 200 feet of deep, thick, sticky mud, and finally, down two miles of the Willamette River. All of this under pedal power with no help from their friends (or spectators)! Sculptures must carry the following items at all times during the Race: A flag, prominently waving in the breeze at all times, which symbolizes an important aspect of the team’s philosophy of life, the universe, and everything. One copy of the final and official da Vinci Days Graand Kinetic Challenge Rules in a water tight container. A whistle for every pilot while on the water for safety—as required by the State of Oregon. A team song/chant demonstrating cunning rhyming technique, utilizing the team name and the words da Vinci, kinetic and Corvallis, to be performed on demand by the Judges. A thematically appropriate, comforting, and/or cuddly stuffed animal, preferably bearish and of fabric composition. At the Friday night judging, teams run a gauntlet of Art and Engineering and end their evening on the Shady Stage, performing their required team song. The four categories that determine overall scoring are Artistry, Pageantry, Engineering, and Timing. Scores are tallied at the end of Sunday’s events and using highly complex mathematical formulas, every team receives some type of award!

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The Artistry Judges gather information during the Friday judging and throughout the Race. Judging is based on the creative craftsmanship of the entire Sculpture and includes such things as use of color, costumes and 2- and 3-dimensional artistic designs (including gratuitous moving parts). A team receives a score between 1 and 10.


Pageantry Judges will be watching teams from the Friday judging and throughout the weekend. Judging is based on such things as humour, theatrical appeal and thematic role playing. A team receives a score between 1 and 10.


Engineering Judges will be at the Friday judging, the Saturday morning Tech-Check, and throughout the race. Each judge has his or her own technique for collecting this information, so racers must be prepared to answer questions about, and to demonstrate, their Sculpture. Engineering judging is based on the creativity of the Sculpture design for dealing with various course obstacles, ingenious ways of solving problems, imaginative use of materials, and quality of construction. A Sculpture falling apart or failing to negotiate an obstacle leaves a definite negative impression. A team receives a score between 1 and 10.


Teams must get the sculpture across the finish line for each section without resorting to non-human power to qualify. The team with the best time after penalties will receive ten points, the slowest team will receive one point and all others points will be distributed accordingly.


Thurs. July 15th. 6 pm Tom Chase Acoustic

Sat. July 17th. 6pm Jerry Peacock



Entertainment by local DJ The Turntable Enabler SATURDAY JULY 24TH 9:00 PM

300 SW Jefferson Ave - Corvallis, OR


*Weather Permitting


Proceeds of sale of our brew go to charity


Supplies & Ingredients for Home Fermentation Enthusiasts

119 SW 4th St. Corvallis, OR 541.758.1674 JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


“Where the back alley meets the high road.”

214 SW 2nd Street Behind the Downtown American Dream Pizza 753-7373


his movie has a lot of controversy around it, more than any I’ve seen around a movie in a while, and it’s a fricking kid’s movie!


Some people are so worked up about different issues they have with it that it’s really pretty funny. People in general seem pretty split about their opinions on the quality of the movie: the critics hate it because they don’t get it, and they fear what they don’t understand, and the older diehard fans, of the immensely popular anime inspired Nickelodeon show it’s based on “Avatar: The Last Airbender” (the film had to drop the word Avatar from the title because of legal issues with James Cameron’s film) hate it because of small changes it made from the source material. The changes are so trivial though; some, are complaining they changed the pronunciation of the names and ethnicity of some characters. All the more, some are even calling it racist, which is ridiculous; films change the race of characters all the time from their source material, it’s only not okay when they change the ethnicity to white apparently. None of the changes effect the quality of the film or story in any way. Those people are making themselves look like giant nerds bitching about a beloved show that they’re too old to be obsessed with anyway. The people this film was made for, the young fans, seem to love the movie and I loved it to. I love movies that bring

Blown away by Airbender by: Tim Hellman out the kid in me and raise a real genuine nostalgic feeling. That’s one of the main reasons I love film. The movie tells the story of a fantasy world where everything is divided into four kingdoms: Air, Water, Earth and Fire. In each kingdom the people have the ability to control that element. Like in any world that man inhabits, the people that think they’re more powerful than everyone else, fire, want to enslave the rest of the world. The only people that can prevent them from doing this are Avatars, people with the ability to control all four elements, but when they’re all killed off by the Fire Nation the land goes into slavery. The only hope of the world lies with the one remaining Avatar, a child (played by newcomer Noah Ringer) who went missing a hundred years ago. The movie opens when a sister and brother of the Water Nation (played by Nicola Peltz and “Twilight’s” Jackson Rathbone—both white unlike the characters in the TV show) find the Avatar still alive in a frozen cube of ice. The problem is that the Avatar, named Aang (however you pronounce it) only learned the power to control air before his kingdom was slaughtered. It’s up to the brother and sister, Katara and Sokka, to take him to a teacher of each nation in order for him to learn the other abilities before the Fire Nation finds him and takes him captive. Most obsessed with doing this is the jealous Fire Nation lord’s son (played impressively by “Slumdog Millionaire’s” Dev Patel) who was exiled from his kingdom. The movie is kind of complicated at times and it’s one main flaw is that it’s so fast paced it doesn’t leave the viewer time to digest information and therefore it’s easy to get lost. I think the writer and director (M. Night Shyamalan) relied to much on the assumption that most viewers already knew the mythology of the TV series and

would therefore be able to keep up. It’s also a kid’s movie and even though this movie would have been much better as a more fitting epic film length, at least 2 hours and 20 minutes, that would have been too long to hold a child’s attention. Consequently the film was cut down to an hour and 43 minutes. Because of this it sometimes feels like there were missing scenes that would have explained things more thoroughly. It feels like you’re watching an edited version of a movie, and I can’t wait for the extended Blu-ray cut. Even though I sometimes didn’t know what was going on, I still loved every second of it! Visually it’s amazing and one of the best looking films I’ve ever seen in the theater. The cinematography is by Academy Award winner Andrew Lesnie (cinematographer of visually stunning films such as “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, “King Kong,” and “The Lovely Bones”) so every scene in the movie looks beautiful. It also has some of the best 3D I’ve ever seen and I definitely recommend seeing it that way, even though it was an after thought converting it to 3D. The score music (by James Newton Howard) is very sweeping and emotional and the directing by Shyamalan is amazing. Like George Lucas, his writing can get a bit corny, and the dialogue here is pretty weak, but his directing is breathtaking. He treats everything so serious and ‘epic’. That’s what I love about the film; it doesn’t patronize or talk down to kids, it treats them intelligently and with respect. Some of the acting and dialogue, like I said, is a bit cheesy but that’s only to make things more relate-able to children. The movie itself is a near masterpiece. It has everything that inspired me to be a filmmaker as a kid. It’s completely imaginative and creative and kids, as well as the kid in you (if you let it), should be captivated.

Fleecing of the Oregon Country Fair by: Dan Tyler


hat do you get when you take a bunch of hippies-who-have-devolved-into-yuppies and set aside a dusty, hot, fairground,

layer it with ropes, Port-a-potties, and No Smoking, No Dogs, No Alcohol, No Video-cameras, No Parking, and No Vending-Without-a-Permit Signs, etc, ad nauseam? The once fabulous-now-homogenized-for-the-IKEAtized-masses Oregon Country Fair! I suppose for the lemmings who cower inside their pastel, suburban, gated communities 362 days of the year, the spectacle of the Country Fair is titillating (pun-intended) and WOW-ing.

After all, they have car-pooled all the way to the $7/day parking lots, moo-ingly crammed onto the free buses to the grounds, and forked out twenty-five bucks (never mind the ubiquitous TicketsWest add-on fee!) so they have every right and expectation to be dazzled, right? In my opinion, it falls father short. Neither a rave, nor a desert-party, nor even a miniBurning Man, the Fair has become way too big, way too populous, and way too regulated. The themes have become ordinances and


mediocratized for the stale semi-smiles of the otherwise sedentary families, who flock to the Fair to escape (if even for a day) their 500 + channels of DirecTiVo. Sadly, expectations are deflated, and a knowing look–daresay a grumble–tremors through the Crowd as they realize they could have gotten all this and more comfortably air-conditioned back home watching “America’s Got Talent!” Alas, Country Fair, for I knew you once upon a yesteryear: hedonistic, naked, smaller, and fun. Or, maybe I’m a cynic.

JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010



"This is Why I Howl by: Louis Keys


I can attest to associating with some wild souls who have run rampant through this seemingly quaint town, “Drug-crazed” un-hip smooth cats loitering around life seeking some sort of fix to fit a personality of tribe, who brightly enthralled eyes + minds as a ravishingly beautiful unicorn, once restrained by invisible bars though the elaborated unicorn will always run free, who lept over building building buildings sky rocketing sky rocketing sky rock-et-ing high, who stretched flat on the sexiest lawn outside the lounge contemplating the rambling thoughts of time, who robotically walked delirious halls brainlessly sliding feet toward conventionality, who pounded away spontaneously tuning into the musical sounds of the sub-conscious, who pushed water-logged boards up + down shitty streets yelling seven to the world, who sprawled out stoned by the creek trees and the most everloving green grass, who mad hated the house leaning in leaning in—gone, who pissed with the free flowing wind for the mother f***ing joy of nature, who shook total insanity on an overlooked stage for only a dollar a day, who time + time again until the end of all days be known to smoke dope + rap, who spat for anarchy inside the schools suppressing white walls protesting conformity, who after years of going + going seems to have finally thrown up old arms saying “F*** it” who would show astounding enthusiasm whenever the green bugs came flying in, who grouped around on white sands to fall sluggishly forward spilling all but two and a half beers, who lumber-jacked + chopped down a tree solely to provide stammering souls with a glowing warmth, who congregated into one surprising tribe celebrating any occasion that involved a bottle, who listened + enjoyed the crazy pondering brain-work of one genuinely sane individual, who captivated all eyes dumbfoundingly gazing left wondering what exactly time will tell, who stayed patiently underneath a moon-roof calmly waiting for the aliens to stop by, who telepathically knew the era of black shirts


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010

was done with tossed over + thrown out, who blasted off into space wandering towards some utopia of self-acceptance, who lime lit the flowers pastures and barnyards of the cityscapes thundering towers, who pizzaed around life un-speakingly raising the eyebrows on everyone’s faces, who sang humorously to the fat red choir about the lack of his god-damned steak + eggs, who as a rolling seal fell tumbling shaking the very sidewalk, who did more than just un-willingly torture the there for you ghost of always, who blew the black pipe in the snowy laden landscape of peaceful solitude, who wept tears of grief for the coolest cat to date, who laid with one eye closed under the sun + the moon, who let one glide while another gliding whilst merging they learned to fly, who would shoot the stars of discard watching golf in the early dawn of day, who let positive vibrations seep out of mind affecting close to heart thoughts, who righteously picked one apple two apples three four five in splendor of bright life, who jumped grabbed + hoisted to the top of a pride sending smoke signals to the high heavens, who counted mouthwatering candies savoring the elusive fragrance of the sweet treat, who shuffled to stutter to leave little eyes and a rattling brain in many faces, who half-mindedly scurried around seeking trouble in the midst of the morning for a kick or two, who smoked blunt after blunt to sit in a car full of haze and the speakers emit colors, who hopped train after train then getting off one day rarely ever stepping back on the contraption, who traveled with thumb out gaining experiences that last longer than a life time, who beaten + battered stumbled drunken + bloody becoming part machine through a metal skull, who usually is partially expected to follow through due to a series of small games, who with the dark surrounding climbed a silhouetted tree intoxicated just to pick a cherry, who cascaded down the close to treacherous slopes of the twenty-ninth happening hills,


who casually set fine words upon each other creating a façade that would fool anyone, who drove + drove on solid streets from here to there returning with no money and a pocket full of stars, who had an abstract stream of consciousness flow furthur on forward without ever having to speak, who night + night beneath a warm sheet of stars delved deeper into consciousness an overwhelming sense of self, who painstakingly journeyed into the unknown with promises of smiles rainbows and lots + lots of ecstasy, who clapped happy bright eyed + ecstatic through + through, who sank their teeth into a delicately insinuating peace of fruit, the juiciest of all, satisfied till eternal death with the lingering taste of beauty left of soft lips.

Editor note: Louis Keys is a pseudonym and this poem is an original piece although Keys gathered inspiration from “Howl” by Allen Ginsberg.


We interrupt this program...

Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig

1. Flow partner 4. They might recede 8. Blood disorder that causes fatigue 14. Virtual adoption 16. Bit of hanky-panky, generically 17. Drama about an anonymous soldier who blogs about juicy military scandals? 18. Old actress RenÈe of “La BohËme” 19. Shallot cousins 21. A studio apartment generally has one 22. Cantonese cooking vessels 25. Comedy about a government takeover that’s alternately wellorganized and absurdly sloppy? 28. Roadside resting spot 29. Place with spinning classes 30. Connect with, commercially 31. “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” author 33. Christmas songs 34. Sitcom that gives the backstory on getting to know a bug? 40. Doesn’t permit 41. Japanese city with geisha 42. Significant other 45. “By the way ...” 47. Likely to get asked out, probably 48. Reality show in which

psychoanalysts compete? 50. Figure (out) 51. “Real Love” singer Watley 52. Broke 54. They may carry out of bakeries 57. Drama about actress Arthur’s trip to Asia? 61. Setting of a 1975 “Thrilla” 62. Unrest that may occur after an act of police brutality 63. De Tocqueville who wrote about America 64. Some specialists 65. Paternity suit evidence


1. Part of a stress test 2. Restaurant that may charge a corking fee, for short 3. Little bullets 4. Cheshire Cat expression 5. Putting on airs 6. Unit of electrical resistance 7. “Fear Street” author R.L. 8. Botanist Gray 9. Homer’s neighbor 10. Options for those dealing with personal demons? 11. Color for many a ‘70s car or suit 12. Decorate with jewelry, in slang 13. Musical instruction to resume speed

15. Those, in Tijuana 20. Likewise 22. One may be made after blowing out candles 23. No longer duped by 24. Be sure 26. God, abroad 27. Actor Lindo in several Spike Lee movies 29. Sign before Cancer 32. Forecasting term coined in January 1996 33. Gov. David Paterson’s purview 35. One with a golden parachute, perhaps, briefly 36. Abraham’s father 37. Island where “Lost” was filmed 38. Definitive ring victories 39. Some are made of straw 42. Word before bottoms or party 43. Unconcerned with right and wrong 44. Renovated 45. Twice, Robert Kennedy’s assassin 46. Person who just can’t get enough 49. Mother of pearl 50. Prepare for a bout 53. French articles 55. Fedotowsky of “The Bachelorette” 56. Carrier to Oslo 58. Auction entry 59. Forever, more or less 60. “Death ___ Funeral” (2010 Neil LaBute film)

Southtown Live presents... Friday July 16 8pm

Marty Baggen









4 7

Saturday July 17 8pm





Coin Realm of the

3 5




6 2

2 1




6 8


Sunday July 18 8pm

Hendrikz McLeod


Reservations: 541-754-6958 THE ALCHEMIST

JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


13 tuesday

Tom’s Peacock Bar and Grill, 125 SW Second St. Jonny Dark and the Wondertones 9:00 pm, FREE


Peacock Bar and Grill East, 76 E. Sherman St. The Brand 7:00 pm, FREE


Carnegie Library, 302 Ferry St. SW Story time with puppet show 10:30 am



15 thursday

Philomath Community Library, 1050 Applegate St. Preschool story time 10:00 am to 10:30 am


Corvallis Benton County Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. Toddler Story Time 10:00 am Central Park, 8th and Madison Corvallis Community Band Music from the Movies 7:00 pm rehearsal, 8:00 pm performance


Lexington Park, 3000 21st Ave. SE Fun in the Park 10:00 am to 12:00 pm, FREE Crafts and Games for kids aged 3-10

OSU Goss Stadium, 430 SW Langton Pl. Corvallis Knights vs. Portland Stars 6:35 pm, $5 - $8 Ralston Park, 925 Park Street J.T. & the Tourists 5:30 pm, FREE Philomath Community Library, 1050 Applegate St. Bedtime story time 7:00 pm

14 wednesday Albany

Albany Public Library, 2450 14th Ave. SE Story time with puppet show 10:30 a.m.


Corvallis Benton County Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. Infant Story Time 10:00 am Block 15, 300 SW Jefferson Ave. Terry Robb 7:00 pm, FREE


Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE Rough Jazz 8:00 pm, FREE





Linn County Fair, 3700 Knox Butte RD Sawyer Brown 8:30pm Reserved seating $20.00 price includes fair admission Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill, 124 Broadalbin St SW Young Buck, Yung Royal, A.F.F.I.L.I.A.T.E.S. 8:30 p.m., $20


The Beanery, 500 SW Second St. Joe and Sue Martinez 8:00 pm Bombs Away Café Dessert First 7:30 pm Cloud 9, 126 SW First St. DJ Doctor Ellis 10:00 pm, FREE Crowbar Rooftop, 214 SW Second Street Tom Chase 6:00, FREE Papa’s Pizza, 1030 S.W. Third St. Northwest Banjo Band 6:30, FREE

Ready to work at intersector Workspace? Call Sheri Dover (541) 602-6215

Cloud 9, 126 SW First St. Beer and Blog 5:00 pm


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010

To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to our Bump Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.

129 NW 4th Ave

Enoteca, 136 SW Washington Ave. Wine Tasting 6:30 pm, $10 OSU Bookstore, OSU Campus Molly’s Revenge with Rebecca Lomnicky 12:00 pm, FREE


Corvallis, OR 97330


Best Happy Hour Best Cocktail - Best Pizza 214 SW 2nd - Behind Downtown Dream - 753 7373 THE ALCHEMIST

16 friday Albany

Linn County Fair, 3700 Knox Butte Rd “Ugliest Dog of Linn County Pageant” 2 pm, Entry forms/info at Albany Civic Theater, 111 First Ave. W. “The Further Adventures of Hedda Gabler” 8:00 pm, $8 to $11 Linn County Fair, 3700 Knox Butte Rd Gin Blossoms with The Rembrandts 8:30 pm, Reserved seating $20.00 price includes fair admission Movies by Moonlight Behind Cappie’s, 211 First Ave W. Gaslight, 1944 7:00–11:00 pm (movie starts at 9:00), FREE


The Play Factory, 442 SW Second St. Janikea 2:30 pm, $3.50 per child Central Park, 8th and Madison Ave. MusicCafe Rock School: Camp Bands 7:00 pm, FREE Cloud 9, 126 SW First St. AstroTek Electro Boogaloo 10:00 pm. FREE daVinci Days Festival OSU Lower Campus, 11th and Madison The Cabiri Performance Troupe, 5:00 p.m. Rootdown, 7:30 p.m. Grupo Fantasma, 9:00 pm $10 - $15 for adults, $5 - $10 for kids Fireworks Restaurant and Bar, 1115 SE Third St. The Marty Baggen Band 8:00 pm, FREE


First Alternative Co-Op, 1007 S.E. Third St. Wine Tasting 5:00 pm

LaBamba Mix Night Club, 126 S.W. Fourth St. PRIDE La Bamba 8:00 pm, $3 Wanted Saloon, 140 NW Third St. Latin X Night 9:30 pm, $2 WineStyles, 2333 NW Kings Blvd. Friday Flight Wine tasting 5:00 pm

Matt the Electrician, 6:00 Intervision, 7:30 pm The Dirty Dozen Brass Band, 9:00 pm Fireworks Restaurant and Bar, 1115 SE 3rd Coin of the Realm Orchestra w/Int’l Fiddle Champion Zach Konowalchuk 8:00, FREE

18 sunday

17 saturday


Linn County Fair, 3700 Knox Butte RD Gallagher 8:30 pm, Reserved seating $15.00 price includes fair admission


Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE Hashem Assadullahi 8:00 pm, FREE Linn County Fair, 3700 Knox Butte RD Grand Funk Railroad 8:30 pm, Reserved seating $20.00 price includes fair admission


Big River, 101 NW Jackson Ave Three Finger Jack 8:30 pm, FREE Cloud 9, 126 SW Firts St. Abolitioninst and The Autopsies 10:00 pm, $3


daVinci Days Festival OSU Lower Campus, 11th and Madison The Charlie Brown Juggling Show, 11:00 am, Shady Stage Space Neighbors, 12:00 pm, Shady Stage The Cabiri Performance Troupe, 12:30 pm, 2:00 pm, and 3:30 pm The Flow, 2:30 pm, Shady Stage daVinci Poetry Slam, 3:00 pm, 11th and Jefferson, Mangiamo Bistro Voodoo Mountain Zydeco, 4:00 pm Fireworks Restaurant and Bar, 1115 SE Third St. Hendrikz McLeod 8:00 pm, FREE

Crowbar Rooftop, 214 SW Second Street Jerry Peacock 6:00 pm, FREE daVinci Days Festival OSU Lower Campus, 11th and Madison OSU Steel Drums, 10:00 am, Shady Stage Ukranian Dance-Arts Center Globetrotter Camp, 11:00 am, Shady Stage Adams Elementary Marimba Ensemble, 12:00 pm, Shady Stage Rhys Thomas Science Circus, 1:00 pm, Shady Stage The Cabiri Performance Troupe, 11:30 am, 12:30 pm, and 3:30 pm Common Pulse, 2:00 pm, Shady Stage pseudoboss, 4:00 pm, Shady Stage Opal Creek, 5:00 pm, Shady Stage

19 monday Corvallis

OSU Goss Stadium, 430 SW Langton Pl. Corvallis Knights vs. Cowlitz Black Bears 6:35 pm, $5 - $8

Thursday, July 15th Rough Jazz 8:00 pm Saturday, July 17th Hashem Assadullahi Ensemble 8:00 pm Friday, July 24th Fiscus 8:00 pm Saturday, July 25th Parish Gap 8:00 pm

(541) 928-1931 140 Hill St. Albany, OR


JULY 13-JULY 19, 2010


The Alchemist Weekly  

Alternative newspaper in Corvallis, Oregon.