THE WALLET 1992 Season 4, Episode 5
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Kramer lights his hair on fire. That slug line alone should trigger a guffaw right off the bat. Elaine, George and Jerry are sitting down and discussing her current boyfriend who happens to be her “svenjolly” shrink. He is just one in a litany of her kooky paramours. Kramer comically bursts into Jerry’s apartment seeking a torch for his cigar. He turns on a stovetop burner, bends and leans in with cigar in mouth, and draws several times to light it up. A moment later, puffing away and standing above the threesome, we see a ferocious smoke cloud emanating from the top of his head. He lets out a wild scream and frantically runs into the bathroom to douse his smoldering dome. That highly anticipated scene occurs about sixteen minutes into the episode. It never fails to illicit a giggle attack even though we have seen it many times.
THE BUBBLE BOY 1992 Season 4, Episode 7 “The Bubble Boy” storyline revolving around an unseen character is a benchmark moment in the show. The classic confrontation over a game of Trivial Pursuit between George and the crass “boy in a bubble” is one of Jason Alexander’s best turns. The episode starts as a simple weekend getaway at Susan’s family lakeside cabin but quickly becomes a catastrophe. The plot points include Elaine’s heartstrings getting tugged at by The Bubble Boy’s emotional father while an indifferent Jerry eats a sandwich; the ensuing madcap race to “make good time” by George en route to the cabin; Jerry’s futile battle with a coffee shop waitress over an autographed photo he would like returned; and Kramer’s decision to enlist Jerry’s girlfriend, Naomi (who possesses a cringe-worthy “Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer” cackle), to insinuate themselves into the cabin weekend, even though they are mostly unwanted, are some of the highlights.
Early in the episode, George passed along a box of Cubans that were given to him by Susan’s father. Kramer is elated by his score and enjoys the cigars throughout the show. The long-suffering Susan, who in the course of several seasons endured many comedic assaults by Kramer and George, would soon pay the price for George’s generosity. Kramer breaks into the cabin with Naomi while the others are persevering through their madcap journey upstate. Kramer and Naomi set out for a night swim but he carelessly leaves his lit cigar near some newspapers, and the fire destroys the cabin. The rest of the party arrive shortly thereafter and watch in astonishment as the cherished cabin burns down. The kicker: Kramer bolts and rushes towards the inferno while screaming, “My Cubans!”
THE CALZONE 1996 Photo courtesy of Alamy Images
Season 7, Episode 20 Elaine’s boyfriend du jour, the smarmy Todd Gack, was supposed to score some authentic Cuban cigars for Jerry so he could pass them out at George’s impending nuptials. The three hundred dollars Jerry paid him garnered a virtually unsmokable Peruvian product. Elaine and Jerry are lamenting the whole Gack situation while seated on his sofa. Elaine comically chomps the cigar she’s stuck in the corner of her mouth, leaning back, legs up on the coffee table. She poses, “What kind of a name is Todd Gaaaaack anyway?” Her delivery of this line is spit-take inducing worthy. Additionally, she wonders aloud why the inferior Peruvian cigars are so terrible. Jerry replies, “It’s like trying to smoke a chicken bone.”
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