THE CHRISTIAN’S HOPE CAN NEVER FAIL
2214 S Greenwood Drive Apt #9 Johnson City, TN 37604 865.724.9956 email@example.com
early-20’s, female. Charlene’s roommate. Short and busty. Slightly intoxicated.
21 years old, female. Hope’s closest friend and Hillary’s roommate. Caring with a bad sense of humor. It is her birthday.
mid-20’s, female. Charlene and Hillary’s good friend. Insecure and a bit lost, but with a fiery temper.
mid-20’s, male. Hope’s date, tall, skinny and physically overbearing. A devout Christian who constantly tries to convert others to his beliefs.
mid-20’s, female. Thin, wears skimpy clothing, and is heavily made up. Heavy partier, promiscuous, and drunk.
SETTING The outside patio of a house where a birthday party is taking place.
TIME The present, late evening.
THE CHRISTIAN’S HOPE CAN NEVER FAIL (Late evening, outside patio of a small one story house. Streamers, balloons and a banner that reads ‘Happy 21st Birthday’ are set. Music can be heard softly in the background. HILLARY, already slightly intoxicated and never without a cup in her hand, and CHARLENE are watching while JENNA dances nearby...) HILLARY I can’t believe that hoe-bag, Jenna is here. Does she even know it’s your birthday? CHARLENE I doubt it. She’s so wasted right now she probably doesn’t even know whose house she’s at. HILLARY I wanna know who invited her skank ass. There is no way in hell I’d of told her about it. CHARLENE I bet it was Zach, or Bryan, or one of her other “fuck buddies”. HILLARY Well, she better not do anything to mess up your party or I’m gonna be pissed. CHARLENE Yeah, like at Dan’s Halloween party when she puked on the couch. HILLARY Or like at Hannah’s Last Day of Summer party when she locked herself in their bedroom with Lauren’s boyfriend. 3
(JENNA exits...) HILLARY (cont’d) Oh, she’s such a bitch! CHARLENE I know! Lauren was crying for the rest of the night after she walked in on them. HILLARY Did anyone even know who the hell the guy was? CHARLENE No, I don’t think so. Lauren said she’d met him from some class she was in or something, I don’t remember. He wasn’t from our school though, I know that. (HOPE and JOEL enter. He is holding a small box...) CHARLENE Hope, I’m so glad you made it! HOPE Happy Birthday, Char! Of course I made it! I would never miss your birthday party. (HOPE hugs CHARLENE...) HOPE (CONT’D) Hey Hill, how are ya? (HOPE hugs HILLARY...) HILLARY (slurring slightly) I am phenomenal (hiccup) CHARLENE (changing the subject) I’m so glad to see you! It’s been awhile, what have you been up to? HOPE It has been a long time hasn’t it?
CHARLENE Well not really, just a few months, but never mind that, how are you doing? HOPE I’m good, I’m really good. I’ve been keeping busy with work and watching my nieces and the church choir and... HILLARY ...Church choir? When did you start going to church? HOPE A few months ago, that’s where I met Joel here. Joel, this is my good friend Hillary. JOEL Nice to meet you, Hope’s told me a lot about you. HILLARY Oh, really? (Jokingly) Well, it’s all lies. Don’t believe a word she says. (JOEL politely smiles but is obviously not amused by HILLARY’s remark. HOPE interrupts the uncomfortable silence...) HOPE ...and this is CHARLENE, the birthday girl. JOEL Nice to meet you and Happy Birthday. (JOEL hands CHARLENE the small box he walked in with...) CHARLENE Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything. (CHARLENE opens up the small box...) CHARLENE (CONT’D) ...It’s a gift card to LifeWay Christian Store. HILLARY (laughing) 5
Christian Store? Oh come on, you know Charlene’s... CHARLENE (quickly interrupting) ...Thank you, Joel. It’s a lovely present. Why don’t I steal you away for a moment and introduce you to some of the other guests? HOPE Good idea! You can meet some more of my friends. JOEL Sure, I’d like that. HILLARY I’ll do it! HOPE (to CHARLENE) Uhh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. (as HILLARY leads JOEL to the other side of the patio...) CHARLENE (to HOPE) She’s harmless, plus it will give us a chance to talk (HILLARY and JOEL can still be seen, but not heard) CHARLENE (cont’d) Okay, what was all that about? You know I’m Jewish. HOPE I know, I just forgot to mention that to him and I didn’t know he had bought anything. CHARLENE Still, that is an odd gift to get someone you don’t know. HOPE Well, he’s just really devoted to his religion and I guess he just assumed that we all went to the same church or something. 6
CHARLENE He’s really not the type of guy I’d pin you for Hope, a devout Christian. You were usually more into the “bad boy” types. HOPE Yeah, well I guess I’m just changing a little and the “bad boys” I’ve dated in the past didn’t really work out so well. CHARLENE Are you still hung up about what happened with Ritchie? HOPE No, I’m over him. It just really hurt to have someone I trusted and really cared about betray me like that, ya know? CHARLENE Yeah, I know. Guys our age just seem to cheat all the time, or at least whenever they see a slutty girl around. HOPE That’s why I like Joel, at least I know I can trust him. CHARLENE I hope so. HOPE Okay, that was lame. (HOPE walks over to where HILLARY, JOEL and the other guests are...) CHARLENE Oh, come on. It made you laugh...just a little...on the inside? (CHARLENE follows...) JOEL ...and that’s why as a Christian I choose to be saved by the Grace of God through my savior Jesus Christ. (Silence...)
HILLARY Well, on that note, can I get anyone something to drink? JOEL Oh, a glass of water please. HILLARY Hope? HOPE Yeah, water sounds great. HILLARY Just water? HOPE Uh huh. HILLARY Oookay. (HILLARY stumbles as she tries to get up...) CHARLENE Hill, I’ll get the drinks, you just sit down and chat. HILLARY I’ll take a jack on the rocks. CHARLENE Really? (pause) Well, okay. (CHARLENE goes to the liquor table to get the drinks...) HOPE You better take it easy, we all know what a good drinker you are. HILLARY I know, I’m such a lightweight. It’s ridiculous. CHARLENE (laughing)
Yeah, she is! By the time I’m halfway done with my first drink, Hill’s already chugged hers and is falling into the walls. (CHARLENE hands out the drinks...) HILLARY What can I say? It happens. (HILLARY wastes no time finishing her drink...) HILLARY (CONT’D) Like the time Hope came home drunk and fell into the closet, you remember that? HOPE No... HILLARY (laughing) Oh, that was so funny. You were fine, just standing there, and then all of a sudden you just completely feel backwards for no reason. JOEL Hope, I didn’t know you drink? HOPE I... HILLARY ...Hell yeah she does! She can drink all of us under the table. Ain’t that right, Hope? (CHARLENE takes the rest of HILLARY’s drink away...) HILLARY Hey, give that back! HOPE Umm...Joel, can I talk to you for a minute, in private. JOEL I think that is a good idea. 9
HILLARY Oooooh, bow-chicka-bow-wow. CHARLENE (to the group) Oh, don’t worry about them. Hillary, why don’t you tell everyone about the time you passed out when you were on the phone with your sister? HILLARY Well, I just had my fifth Jello shot... (JOEL and HOPE walk to the other side of the patio...) JOEL Hope, you know I disapprove of that kind of behavior. HOPE I know, but the time she was talking about was difficult for me. I had just caught my boyfriend cheating on me, in front of everyone, and was really upset. I knew drinking wasn’t going to fix anything, but I just wanted to escape all my problems for a moment. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, but it’s what I thought I needed at the time. I realize now that it wasn’t and so I don’t act like that anymore. JOEL Well, if you understand now the errors of your ways and choose to follow the path of the lord from now on, then I will continue to be with you. But you need to know that I will not stay if you choose differently. HOPE Oh come on, you’ve never had a drink before or done anything unchristian like? JOEL No, I haven’t. I choose to follow down the path of god and live strongly by his words. (Loud puking is heard from offstage. JENNA enters, wiping her mouth...) JENNA 10
Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt...Joel? Joel Kinsley, is that you? How’ve you been baby? I haven’t seen you since Hannah’s end of the summer party when we had our special alone time. You remember that? Oh, I know by that look on your face that you do. How could you forget, we must have been in there for hours before that girl of yours realized we’d been missing and decided to come looking for you. I can’t say I ever really felt sorry for her, though. She should have never opened that door if she didn’t want to see you spreading my legs up over my head like that. Well, I guess it wouldn’t have hurt for us to lock the door while we were doing our business, but hey, I don’t mind putting on a show. The look on her face wasn’t one of enjoyment like my usual audience though. Oh, what was that girl’s name again? Lizzy, Laney,... HOPE Lauren? JENNA No, that’s not it. HOPE Yes, it is. Her name was Lauren. JENNA Yes, Lauren that was it. Are you still with her baby? Well, I guess I can see that you’re not since I haven’t seen her here all night. I’m also guessing that you’re available now since I don’t see you out here with anyone special. If that’s the case, or even if it’s not, here's my number. Call me if you ever want to sneak off again. Tootles! (JENNA exits...) JOEL Ahmm...well...umm HOPE Following the path of god, huh? JOEL (stumbling through his response) Well, you see, she wanted to learn more about the Christian faith and asked me to teach her. It was too loud in the living room so we went into one of the back rooms. I was 11
just giving her an insightful view into the christianic beliefs. HOPE Uh huh, and I guess she just returned the favor and gave you an insightful view into her vagina! (HOPE walks back to CHARLENE and HILLARY. JOEL takes a moment to gather himself, then pulls out his phone and dialâ€™s JENNAâ€™s number...) JOEL Hello, Jenna? (End Play)