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november / december 2017

Farrell Ramsey

A deputy & a chaplain

Want to be free? Learn to forgive

Liberty Quartet Ministry in 4-part harmony

Savor the Season The winning recipes

Farrell Ramsey serves as a deputy and chaplain with the Elmore County Sheriff’s Office


Contents November / December 2017 Features Columns The best gift: Man’s Toolbox: 6 10 Real Harmony and Freedom in forgiveness

8

Ambrose School: 23 years of growth

dissonance

Faith: 12 Challenging Russian “collusion”

22

Consider This: Do you fit in?

with 26 Outdoors Dougherty:

Randy-B Funk:

Holding sock drive

Christmas memories

15

Cover Story —

Volume 5, Number 6 Publisher Sandy Jones Editor Gaye Bunderson gayeb@sterlingmedialtd.com 208-854-8345 Sales & Marketing Kimberly McMullen kim.bcliving@gmail.com 208-713-6357 • Scott McMurtrey scott.bcliving@gmail.com 208-841-4583 • Sandy Jones boisechristianliving@gmail.com 208-703-7860 Cover Photo Drew Brown Graphic Design Carol Smiley

Farrell Ramsey 16 serves first responders Liberty Quartet:

18

Ministry in 4-part harmony

Departments 5

Your Daily Bread: A Christmas donation

14 Understanding Relationships: Love is a verb

Q&A

“People Are Good”

In Each Edition Publisher’s Corner: 4 The Sunday meal 20

Talking to teens:

24

Savor the Season:

28

The “s-word”

Winning recipes

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Contributors Molly Blakeman, Daniel Bobinski, Dan Dougherty, Terry Frisk, Leo Hellyer, Janet Lund, Joel Lund, Gary Moore, Dan Woodworth Distribution Specialists Idaho Distribution Services Website Design SEO Idaho Christian Living is committed to encouraging and instructing individuals in their daily lives by presenting stories of people in the Treasure Valley who are living on a foundation of faith in Jesus Christ and who serve as uplifting examples to others. Views expressed in Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by Christian Living to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2017 by Christian Living Ministries Inc. Christian Living is published every other month and is available in over 600 locations throughout the Treasure Valley, including most grocery stores, convenience stores, medical waiting areas, and churches. If your church would like additional copies please email us today at boisechristianliving@gmail.com Annual subscriptions available for $10/year. To start your subscription or give one as a gift send your check or money order, along with complete address information, and a phone number to call in case there’s questions about your subscription to Christian Living Magazine, PO Box 867, Meridian, ID 83680.

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 


PUBLISHER’S Corner

Making Sunday a special family day wiches or a pan of frozen lasagna. I recently read of a young single mom who has no family near her, and she invites friends in every Sunday Sunday nights are a favorite for our family. evening. Nearly two-and-a-half years ago when we We start with saying grace. Literally we form a lost our daughter-in-law, we started Sunday circle, grab each other’s hand and my husband, Night Family Dinner. I phrase it that way son and grandkids emphatically say “Grace!” because I do my best to make it an event then laugh hysterically as if it were the first time each week. Do I plan an activity? No, but anyone ever thought of this joke. I have to laugh with few exceptions I do try to make it like at their jest. Then we get serious about thanking the old fashion Sunday night dinner — the God for the food and for the life we share. full meal deal. We have great conversations. If things start to We clear all the stuff off the dining room lull, we pick a topic. Maybe it was what was the table. Turn off the television. Sit in our sermon on at church today? Or ask the grands favorite seats, and enjoy a time of food, felwhat they learned in Sunday School, or what’s lowship and laughter. Sandy Jones, Publisher going on at school or how their kung fu studies Initially this was to help our son and his Christian Living Magazine are coming. Anything that would cause strife or children through a time of grief. My hope discord is off limits. We specifically set this time was to bring the chaos of the busy weekends aside to affirm our family and grow closer. to a close, and return to our roots of love and support — a The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in bit of security in their uncertain world. We continue it today, him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my as it’s become our norm. We all look forward to our time song I praise him. — Psalm 28:7 (NIV) together each week, and on the rare occasion that something Recently I’ve focused on preparing my heart to be more comes up and we have to miss a Sunday, our grandchildren conscious of the many things I have to be grateful for. I’m not are quite vocal about their displeasure, insisting that we then talking about material things. I try to start each day simply by reschedule to Monday that week. thanking God for His love; His gift of salvation; His grace; for My only regret is that we didn’t start this tradition earlier. creating me, and blessing me in so many ways. Then throughWhen our kids were still home, we had dinner on Sunday out the day I thank Him for answered prayers, send up prayer night, but it was usually just another meal on another night for family or friends, or concerns on my heart. Grateful that in our home. When we started having grandchildren, the when Jesus died the veil was torn, and I don’t have to wait for thought crossed my mind, but I didn’t want to step on toes, or appear to be hogging the time all to myself. In retrospect, I someone to take it to the Lord for me! I can talk to Him all don’t think anyone would have thought anything of it, except day long. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all cirperhaps to have been inspired to start the tradition in their own homes. In The Word we are encouraged to break bread cumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. — 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV) together. As 2017 winds down, and we go into this holiday season We have gained so much as a family, and grown closer — a season of gratitude and celebrating the birth of our through this fairly new tradition. I highly recommend it. It doesn’t have to be a big formal meal; it can be soup and sand- Lord and Savior — I am grateful for you, our readers. If it were not for you, all we do here at Christian Living would be pointless. Thank you for inviting us into your homes and lives. And, as I’ve said before, I’m thankful for the businesses in our pages that make this possible; please shop them, and thank them for their support. May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas season, and until next time – God Bless! n By Sandy Jones

Your Daily Bread

Add donation to Christmas shopping list Our brothers and sisters who are victims of By Terry Frisk these catastrophes still need our help. In addition, As I am writing this article, residents in Housthere will likely be more events requiring aid from ton are still struggling to recover from Hurricane relief organizations. It may even involve our comHarvey; people in Puerto Rico are dealing with the munity. This holiday season, prayerfully consider devastation from both Hurricanes Irma and Maria; adding a donation to your Christmas shopping many Californians lost their homes due to fires. list to a charity supporting disaster relief or other The American Red Cross reported that it, along organization that provides assistance to those in with community and government partners, offered need. Don’t know which organization to donate shelter to over 1.2 million people and provided 6.5 to? There are a number of great charities to supmillion meals for victims of the three hurricanes. port, many of which are affiliated with religious WOW! These are numbers from just one relief organizations. Check with your church to see if organization. they either sponsor endorse a relief organization. There seems to be no shortage of disasters leaving You can also obtain information about individual people in need of help. In Idaho, we have been Terry Frisk charities from such watchdog groups as Ministry fortunate to avoid these types of catastrophic events. Watch, GuideStar and Charity Navigator. We should celebrate our good fortune by sharing with those vicChristmas truly is the season for giving. God gave us the ultitims who are not so fortunate. In Matthew 25:35-40, Jesus said: “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you mate gift of salvation through His Son. As we celebrate Christ’s birth, share the abundance that God has given us by supporting gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison those less fortunate. Your generosity will result in blessings both on earth and in Heaven. Have a joyous Christmas and pray for and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? peace. n When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe Terry Frisk is a partner in the firm B2B CFO, providing financial advisory you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will services to small businesses. He also counsels individuals on personal financial reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers matters through the Cathedral of the Rockies Budget Counseling ministry. He and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (NIV) may be contacted through e-mail at terry_frisk@msn.com.

A wonderful Sunday Night Family Dinner memory from November 2016 when Jason and Alexandra were home for a visit. Front row, left to right Jason, Joshua, Gabriele. Back row, left to right, Alexandra, Drew, Steve, and Sandy.

 November / December 2017 | Christian Living

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 


what’s in a name?

The best gift: freedom in forgiveness And so, feeling safer after I set that boundary, I went on living my Christian life and seeking after God. The holidays are upon us. It’s that time of But there was a problem. Every time someyear when families and friends tend to get toone called me “Daniel,” I would instantly gether to share meals and exchange gifts. And, correct them and say, “My name is Dan.” in addition to bringing gifts to these gatherings, In fact, it got to the point where I would be many of us also bring baggage. Let’s face it. almost rude about it. I really didn’t like the The people we love the most can sometimes name Daniel, but all my official documents, be the people who have hurt us the most. We such as airline tickets and mortgage papers, all have a sin nature, and with that comes a prorequired it. Arrgh. pensity to say and do things that aren’t always I remember getting into a small verbal kind — even to people we love. tug-of-war with a mortgage lender because I If you were raised in a loving and nurturing wouldn’t sign their paperwork with, “Daniel home, consider yourself blessed. If every friend Bobinski.” And then there was the time I you’ve ever had has been only kind to you, then was opening a bank account and the branch that would be a wonderful blessing, as well. But Daniel Bobinski manager was reading my name out loud off not everybody has that. And, I can’t think of my driver’s license. Even I was surprised at very many people who do. how high her eyebrows went up after I gritted my teeth and Perhaps you’ve heard it said that when you don’t forgive said, “My name is Dan.” And, the room became even more somebody, it affects you a lot more than it affects them. I’m tense after she asked what my mother’s maiden name was. here to tell you there’s a lot of truth in that statement. Not long after that I realized the source of my frustration My mother passed on nearly 10 years ago. Obviously, with hearing my real name. Every time my mother was upset she loved me, but she didn’t always know how to show it. I with me, she would grit her teeth and in a demeaning voice, doubt she truly understood me, and she often referred to me she’d say, “Daniel!” as stupid. Later in her life she became very controlling and That awareness rolled through my head for a few years, but even vengeful. Sadly, I don’t think she had a relationship with Jesus. I tried talking with her after I got saved, but she wanted the emotional pain was still too deep to deal with it. I didn’t feel safe letting down my protective boundary. no part of it. She would say things to try to control me, often Then something strange happened. Within a week’s time, following it up with phrases like, “It’s in the Bible,” when two good friends commented independently about how angry obviously it wasn’t. I got whenever the subject of my mother came up. These I’m not saying this to air my family’s laundry, I just want to friends didn’t know each other, but both of them told me the set the stage and say that after decades of increasing verbal exact same thing: “I think you need to forgive your mother.” and emotional abuse that continued after all the physical After hearing this suggestion twice in one week — and realabuse she dished out during my childhood, I had to draw a izing it was probably coming from God — I knew there was boundary and not talk with her anymore.

truth in their words. The thing is, I didn’t want to forgive my mother. She had hurt me a lot. But I had been carrying that pain around for decades, and it wasn’t going away. I decided my friends were right. During an evening later that week, I got down on my knees in front of the fireplace in my home. I didn’t know where to start, so I just asked God to help me forgive her. I asked God to help me pray — to search my heart and cleanse it of all unforgiveness toward my mother. It was a long evening. I think I spent three hours on that rug, crying and pouring my heart out to God, asking for a change of heart. Afterwards there were no fluttering angels or lights from heaven. I just felt as if I had prayed enough and that I didn’t have anything more to say or ask for. I went to bed, but nothing felt different. That is, until two days later. I forget where I was or what I was doing, but somebody called me “Daniel,” and I noticed that I didn’t flinch. I didn’t grit my teeth. I didn’t correct anybody. Then, the next day, somebody else called me Daniel, and it actually sounded good. Before long, I was introducing myself to people as Daniel, and correcting them (politely) if they called me “Dan.” Although I never reconnected with my mother (she died shortly after I forgave her), I’m confident that a cleansing took place in the spiritual realm. I’ve shared this story several times, and people tell me it’s a powerful testimony about how freeing forgiveness can be. And so, I thought that by sharing it here on these pages during the holidays, it might give readers throughout the Treasure Valley a glimmer of hope and a gentle nudge. I’m guessing there’s someone you’ll see this holiday season that has caused pain in your past. Pain that you might have quietly stashed away, or pain that might be gnawing at you on the inside. I’m here to say there’s freedom in forgiveness. Who knows? It might be the best gift that you give — and receive — this holiday season. n

 November / December 2017 | Christian Living

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By Daniel Bobinski

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Daniel Bobinski, M.Ed., runs two businesses. One helps teams and individuals learn how to use Emotional Intelligence. The other helps companies improve their training programs. He’s also a homeschooling dad, a best-selling author, and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. Reach him at daniel@ eqfactor.net or (208) 375-7606.

November / December 2017 | Christian Living 


Ambrose School

Twenty-three years and still growing By Molly Blakeman In 1994, five families gathered to consider founding a classical Christian school in Boise. The success of Logos School in Moscow, Idaho, had spurred dozens (now hundreds) of schools to open nationwide. Only three students in the 2nd grade arrived for class at Foundations Academy on the first day in the basement of Ustick Baptist Church. The school grew rapidly, to 35 students its second year and around 70 the third. Continuing to add one grade per year, the school graduated its first class of eight students in 2006. After two relocations, 10 years of design and five years of intensive planning and fundraising, all 12 grades moved into the school’s current building in 2009 and its name was changed to The Ambrose School. Currently, there are around 600 students in grades K-12 and around 50 full- and part-time faculty and staff. The Ambrose School is one of only 40 accredited schools belonging to the 280-member Association of Classical Christian Schools.

And unlike a public school, students are free to discuss and debate opposing views such as evolution to solidly prepare them to face an increasingly hostile world well armed with facts, logic, and persuasive arguments.

A rigorous curriculum

Ambrose students are expected to work hard. There is no “easy A” and focus is on progress. Is the student improving? Are they reaching goals? This leads to a sense of accomplishment for the student and incentive to continue improving. Parents are encouraged to guide their student to strive for goals rather than obsess over straight A’s or feel defeated after one failure. Ambrose graduates report that not only did these high expectations prepare them well for college, but that it

similar to those of English boarding schools. At Ambrose, think of houses as a club everyone gets to join. They are critical to forming a smaller community for every student and promoting mentorship between older and younger students. Incoming 7th grade students are inducted into one of six houses during the annual Upper School Retreat. Houses compete against each other in intramural sports and serve in the broader community.

Think. Believe. Serve.

Ambrose students are encouraged to “Think with Confidence. Believe with Courage. Serve with Compassion.” The newest school-wide service event is “Feed the Need,” partnering with Homestead Ministries and Boise Rescue Mission to package over 10,000 soup mixes and distribute them throughout the Treasure Valley. Students trade their uniforms for t-shirts and jeans and take shifts throughout one school day in September each year.

The Arts, Sports, and More

Ambrose puts on a traditional Christmas program each year, currently held at the Morrison Center and televised on Christmas Eve and morning. Music and the arts are central to training students in God’s objective standards for beauty. Students can choose from choral and orchestra groups. All students are trained in fine art and drama through imitation of the great masters, learning how the arts both reflected and influenced

Classical Christian Education

culture throughout history. In sports students learn to glorify God through teamwork, diligence, and self-sacrifice. Ambrose students can compete in volleyball, basketball, cross country, lacrosse, golf, mountain biking, and club soccer. Mock Trial is another area where classical Christian school students excel since they are well-practiced in logic and rhetoric skills. Ambrose and Logos repeatedly face off in the state tournament, with Ambrose taking the state title and placing sixth nationwide in 2016.

A new educational option for 2017-18 school year

In an effort to provide a classical education to as many families as possible, Ambrose is opening a new 2-day shared instruction model called the Bridge Program. These students will meet two days a week on campus with an Ambrose teacher, then work at home with a parent the other three days. This program is roughly half the cost of the 5-day program, and provides parents with curriculum, training, and grading. Students graduating from the Bridge Program receive an Ambrose diploma. This fall, the Bridge Program opened with grades K 8, and will expand to high school grades the following years. n Molly Blakeman is communications manager at Ambrose School. For more information, go to TheAmbroseSchool.org.

The classical method is based on the “Trivium” — an understanding that no matter how your child learns, he or she goes through three phases. In grades K-6, students are excellent at memorizing (Grammar Stage). In grades 7-8, students become more argument-oriented. They are ready to be taught logic and critical thinking (Logic Stage). In grades 9-12, students become independent thinkers and communicators particularly concerned Like students everywhere, Ambrose students love to show their enthusiasm for their school’s teams. Here, students cheer on their basketball squad. (Photo provided by Ambrose School) with their appearance to others. To this end, classical education teaches them rhetoric, the art of speaking, communicating, and writ- wasn’t until their junior year of college that they reached the same level of academic rigor that was expected of them at ing (Rhetoric Stage). The education culminates in a senior Ambrose. thesis and defense and a class trip through Europe. Up until 1900, everybody received this style of education. Then along came John Dewey and the progressives who Isn’t a Bible class enough? sought to transform public schools into training grounds Classical Christian schools teach from the perspective that for jobs. Today, many schools still state their primary goal as the real power is in teaching ALL subjects from the perspec“college and career readiness.” Ironically, although Ambrose tive of the Christian worldview. Classically educated students does not list college and career readiness as one of its goals for will not distinguish between God’s creation and science; a graduate, this educational style nevertheless leads to students between God’s order and mathematics; or between Church who outscore every other school in the Boise area on college history and world history. Throughout the curriculum, an preparedness exams such as the SAT and ACT (see http:// inseparable association exists between the subject and its theambroseschool.org/academics/measuring-success/). Creator. Conventional education operates on the philosophy that Hogwarts & Houses education is neutral — that it merely conveys fact and that Thanks to J.K. Rowling, Ambrose is often referred to as facts do not require a spiritual context. Classical Christian “Hogwarts” partly due to the building and uniforms, but education believes that facts can only represent truth when also because all 7th - 12th grade students belong to “houses” taught from a Christian worldview. There is no neutrality.

 November / December 2017 | Christian Living

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 


Real Man’s Toolbox

Bridging the gap from dissonance to harmony By Leo Hellyer There are two musical terms that have a lot to do with our lives on a daily basis. These two terms are “harmony” and “dissonance.” According to Merriam-Webster, harmony is described as melody, congruence, agreement, accord, tranquility. At the same time, dissonance is described as lack of agreement, or a mingling of sounds that strike the ear harshly. As we look at our individual lives, our wonderful country, or the world in its entirety, we can see and experience harmony and dissonance in many ways. My first experience with harmony and dissonance was back in Leo Hellyer the early ‘70s as a member of the first Madrigal Choir at Boise High School. Mr. Howard Low guided a group of dissonant young voices, personalities and priorities into a close-knit harmonious group of musicians. This is definitely proof that what is dissonant does not have to remain that way. It does take hard work, focus and faith. As we live our lives individually, as men and women, in families, work groups, church groups, political parties, races,

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ethnic groups, and nationalities, we all experience different levels of harmony and dissonance. To a great degree, the level of harmony or dissonance in our lives depends on how we live our lives, and where we get our strength and direction from. As Christians, we are in a place to change the world. If we would refer to the Bible for the answers to the harmony and dissonance in society today instead of television, politicians, or world leaders, we could truly change the world. If all of the Christians in the world would act as God shows us to in His scripture, others would see and experience true harmony, and would be jealous of those living in harmony. If the readers of Christian Living Magazine will read and live by the few verses listed here, we can begin making changes in society right here where we live. Romans 12:16-18 (ESV): Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 1 Peter 3:8 (ESV): Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Romans 14:19 (NASB): So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV): Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Ephesians 4:16 (ESV): From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the

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body grow so that it builds itself up in love. John 3:16 (ESV): For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. This time of year most of us concentrate on what we are thankful for. The chief thing that we should be thankful for is the evidence of God’s unconditional love that is evidenced by God sending His Son to us. As we celebrate the birth of the Savior, we need to express how thankful we are. We need to be bold in Christ. When you are greeted by others, boldly greet them by saying, “Happy Thanksgiving” and “Merry Christmas,” but do so in love, not in distaste or conflict. Let this dissonant society feel and hear the harmony and love from the Christian believers. If we want to have a positive impact on this world that we live in, we must be seen and heard. There are clear words for us to follow in the gospel of Matthew that we should live out. Matthew 5:14-16 (ESV): You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. We can and should be the light in a world of darkness. Let’s go to the Lord in prayer. Let’s ask God to show each of us how he wants us to lighten up this dark world. In Ezekiel 22:30, the word of the Lord came to Ezekiel and said, “I

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searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.” The Christian men of America, along with our Messianic Jewish brothers, responded to a similar call on October 4, 1997. This was an event called Stand in the Gap, and was held in Washington, D.C. on the mall from the Capitol to the Washington Monument. I fully believe that our country needs a similar group of men who are believers in Jesus Christ to assemble themselves where they are and stand in the gap and be heard. We need to be seen. We need to be the light of the world. Men, please pray to God Almighty and ask Him how He wants you to stand in the gap and be the light of the world. n Leo Hellyer is a non-staff pastor with a local church and has been married to his wife Norma for 44 years. The couple volunteered with the Boise FamilyLife Ministry Team for 20 years. They are both employed by Boise Rescue Mission Ministries, Norma at City Light Home for Women & Children and Leo at River of Life Rescue Mission. Leo is also the President and Chief Firearms Instructor with Helping Hands Firearms Training LLC. If you have questions about Real Man’s Toolbox, or need other assistance, Leo may be reached at silverplate426@ msn.com or 208-340-5544.

November / December 2017 | Christian Living 11


Challenging Faith

My Russian collusion (with writers, that is) Capture the Kraken

By Joel Lund It Began Innocently Enough One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from a Russian. Since reading it in Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s “The Idiot” years ago, it has stayed with me as the most comprehensive and challenging truth assertion I’ve ever encountered in a novel:

Don’t let us forget that the causes of human actions are usually immeasurably more complex and varied than our subsequent explanations of them.

Joel Lund

And since reading “The Idiot,” I have colluded with Russians. Well, Russian writers, anyway. And to my knowledge, those are the only Russians I’ve had any interactions with (for the benefit of the NSA).

In my last article I addressed the growing challenge of engaging in this social-media-fueled world we live in without “releasing the Kraken,” a giant sea creature of ancient legend. Like the Kraken, empowered by its alien rage, the various Body Politicks seem to have an endless supply of rage, hatred and ferocity directed at those that do not ascribe to their worldview. Consequently, just this year we’ve seen mass shootings, bombings, terrorist attacks, and national saber rattling, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Vietnam. Pretty depressing, right? As people of faith, what is an appropriate response to this? While I do not have access to all the answers to the hard questions people ask, I do have access to the Answer. And happily, so do you.

Three Secrets to Taming the Kraken Perspective

First, it’s crucial to be clear on where all of the anger is coming from. It’s a strong emotion. Many people have trouble with it…with feeling it, with feeling out of control because of it, or with dealing with it when others’ express it. According to Brené Brown, it is liberating to recognize that anger is often the expression of a much stronger emotion: fear. And fear is most often flying under our consciousness. What are we, the body politicks, most fearful of ? Scarcity. Not having enough. Not being enough. Not powerful enough. In “Daring Greatly,” Brown writes that the greatest cultural influence of our time is “our culture of scarcity” and that we see evidence of it now every day:

Embrace Your Inner Politick?

It wasn’t that many years ago that the world existed without Facebook. Or Twitter. Or any other kind of “social media.” Now, it’s virtually impossible to use those avenues of communicating without being subjected to the Body Politick. [Sorry, I just took a moment to exhale a looooong, sad sigh.] I suppose it’s inaccurate — laughably so — to refer to “Body Politick” because there’s not just one. Now there are countless bodies. And this is not a good thing. Originally, “body politic” (the correct spelling, by the way) meant simply “a group of persons politically organized under a single governmental authority.” In other words, it originally meant “nation.” Now it’s about “wrong,” “deluded,” “racist,” “stupid”…and words that don’t bear repeating here. Least we think that the United States is the only country fracturing into many little nations of body politick, frenzied and antagonistic to all the others, Canada and many European countries are facing this same turbulence of violent politick.

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that’s not common these days, while the other interprets his meaning so narrowly that there can’t be mutual understanding. Are you listening to others or reflexively snapping back? If your inclination is to snap back, your fear is wagging you. It’s time to build an emotional firebreak.

Compassion

Third, it’s crucial to remember that we have much more in common than not. And once we allow ourselves to look through a lens that asserts that truth, we’re able to connect. We’re able to listen. We’re able to see the fear in the other and feel compassion for them. For we know how terrible that feels. Are you open to looking through the eyes of another’s fear?

Russian Collusions for Peace

Dostoyevsky nailed it. We do well to internalize that “the causes of human actions are usually immeasurably more complex and varied than our subsequent explanations of them.” There are reasons beyond what we can see that explain why people might believe/express/protest something that we don’t. Go ahead, collude with Dostoyevsky, because internalizing this truth increases our empathy. So does adding more perspective. If you haven’t yet, make a point of seeing the PBS miniseries, “Vietnam.” It provides an astonishing lens for understanding current events. Finally, the Answer meets our deepest anxieties and massive scarcity bias. Gently, we’re called to boldly greet Abundance. From Isaiah 41:10: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I

am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Let not your heart be troubled. Rather, act as an ambassador of compassion. Collude for perspective. Be the voice of composure. Dare greatly, empowered by the Answer who upholds you. n Joel Lund is a certified master coach and business marketing expert. Are you a business owner? Check out his newest enterprise, PurposeDrivenAcademy.com, an online business accelerator. Owners and entrepreneurs using the academy quickly break through to higher revenues, with less work and more fun. Download his (free) simple 10-step guide for living with more purpose and joy: www.prepareforrain.

…the environment that not only explains what everyone is calling a narcissism epidemic, but also provides a panoramic view of the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that are slowly changing who we are and how we live, love, work, lead, parent, govern, teach and connect with one another. Fear, powered by an unchallenged belief that you’re not (fill in blank) enough, has become the tail wagging the dog. What are you most afraid of ? Let’s assume for a moment that every single angry person in Social Media Land (and everywhere else)…is actually afraid. Is your fear more worthy than theirs? Is their anger going to win you over? Why would your anger win them over?

Composure

Second, it’s crucial to self-monitor. When our emotions are stirred up to the boiling point, it is all too easy and common to fall hostage to them. Like a single lightning strike can eventually consume thousands of acres, so our anger seeks to sustain itself on nearby fuel. So, how much fuel do you have stored up? I’ve seen friends on Facebook going at it, one trying to convey a viewpoint

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 13


Understanding Relationships

Is your love a noun or a verb?

part of the equation, but perhaps the more important part of the equation is becoming the right person. In 2007 the movie “Juno” was released. This Then there is the whole thing of staypopular movie was about a teenage girl who ing together, but not in love — staying in a became pregnant, her struggle not to abort marriage vs. staying in love. We don’t want but to give up the baby for adoption, and all to just be in a relationship to survive. We the associated issues. In the movie the teenage want to find that special someone to do life girl, Juno, asks her father (who is divorced and with — to be in love with — “till death do remarried) a couple of questions: “I guess, I us part.” Too often that’s not what we have wonder sometimes if people ever stay together modeled for us and therefore we find ourfor good…like people in love…Dad, I just need selves asking the Juno question. to know that it’s possible for two people to stay Fortunately, Jesus speaks directly to this. In happy forever.” John 13:34 he gives us the answer: “A new All of us at some juncture of our lives ask command I give you; love one another. As I that same question. And, in spite of how bad Gary Moore have loved you, so you must love one anothour current situation is or the situation we er.” It’s easy to gloss over this familiar verse, grew up in, or in spite of the societal marriage to think, “So what? That’s it?” But notice statistics, down deep we think it is possible for carefully what Jesus does. He takes a word we normally use us — at least we want it to be. We want to be able to answer as a noun and makes it a verb. It’s an imperative. It’s a comJuno’s questions with a “Yes.” mand. Normally we think in terms of falling in or out of love. It’s not hard to fall in love. It’s been said that the only If Jesus was our marriage counselor and we went to Him requirement for falling in love is a pulse. With the proliferation of social media and online dating services, it’s easier than because we were having “heated fellowship,” according to John 13:34 He would say, “Do you love your spouse?” ever to connect with someone. According to one source from “Well, I used to.” two years ago, there are over 91 million people worldwide And Jesus would say, “No. No. You ‘used to’ is a noun, not a using dating apps. We could probably say that it’s never been easier to fall in love…but, it’s never been more difficult to stay verb. Are you loving her?” “No, but we’re married.” in love. We seem to be equipped to fall in love but not to stay And Jesus would say, “You’re confusing a noun and a verb. in love. Yet that’s what we want — to stay in love. What you’re really saying is that you’re not feeling it. You Our society today has a low threshold for relational pain. have to do it before you feel it.” If it becomes too painful, for whatever reason, we simply get Our relationships start off with the feeling of love. In the out. We say to ourselves that the reason we’re not happy is that we simply married the wrong person — we chose poorly. beginning, feeling love is the engine that’s driving the relationship train. But what Jesus is saying is that love as a noun So, we abandon that relationship and set out on what we (feeling) has to be the caboose on the relationship train. Love hope is a more “selective hunt” that will bring us the hapas a verb has to be the engine. piness we so desire. Choosing the right person is certainly a By Gary Moore

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If we want to sustain and grow love in our marriage relationships, we have to stop treating love as a noun and start treating it as a verb. Love, as a verb, is active, purposeful action done daily. The foundation for a long-term relationship is to make love a verb. The goal isn’t to recapture a feeling. The feeling of love was the engine at the start of the relationship, but for the relationship to be long-term, it has to become the caboose. The answer to your question Juno is “Yes,” but only if we make love a verb not a noun. n Gary Moore is currently a part-time staff member at Cloverdale Church of God in charge of Adult Education. He’s served as associate pastor there for the past 11 years. He’s principal of .003 Coaching, providing life coaching, couples’ coaching and business coaching locally and around the country. He also does a weekly radio program on KBXL 94.1FM on Fridays at 8:45 a.m. called Life Point Plus. He may be reached at pastorgary@cloverdalechurch.org.

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Randy-B Funk holding sock drive Randy-B Funk, 14, is once again holding his annual sock and stuffed animal drive — known as S.O.S. Socks and Stuffies Drive — to benefit the River of Life Men’s Shelter and City Light Home for Women and Children in Boise. The drive launched October 26 and will end December 23. The drop-off location for new socks and stuffed animals is Postal Express, 1740 E. Fairview Ave. in Meridian next to Fred Meyer. Randy-B has also held food drives in the area, beginning when he was 12 years old. His parents are Randy and Michelle Funk.

November / December 2017 | Christian Living 15


Farrell Ramsey Serving others as a deputy and chaplain By Gaye Bunderson First responders frequently see the worst of life: car wrecks, suicides, human cruelty. It can affect them at a deep level. Farrell Ramsey is there to make sure they can cope and carry on, with both their careers and their lives. He is a source of warmth in an otherwise frequently cold profession. Ramsey is a certified law enforcement officer and chaplain with the Elmore County Sheriff ’s Office. Originally born and raised in North Carolina, his father was pastor at Pleasant Valley Baptist Church in Mars Hill. Ramsey met his wife Janet there — he was 6 and she was 5. “She’s my childhood sweetheart,” he said. Ramsey followed his father into the ministry, and in the 1990s, when residents of the Pine-Featherville area wanted to start a church in the community and needed a pastor, he took the job. He was married to Janet by then, and two of the couple’s children came with them, while their oldest child remained behind in North Carolina. Ramsey was trained in logging and tree-trimming and worked for the Forest Service as projects came up. He and Janet held church in their house on Sunday and homeschooled their two children on weekdays. The small, home-based church was called Boise River Baptist. There was a one-room schoolhouse in Pine at the time, and the teacher there attended church at the Ramsey home and helped them out with homeschooling. Ramsey also joined the Pine volunteer EMTs, which led to his becoming a

part of the area search and rescue team. In 1997, Robbin Ellis, then the resident deputy in Pine, needed a reserve deputy and asked Ramsey if he’d fill in. Back then, it was only a parttime volunteer position, but Ramsey stepped up to help Ellis out. In 2002, he became a full-time deputy “in the hills,” as he refers to the PineFeatherville area, and continued to pastor the church. He eventually studied at POST, or Police Officers’ Standards and Training, in Meridian; in 2007, he started working as a patrol deputy at the sheriff ’s office in Mountain Home, leaving the hills and taking a job in the ‘city.’ “It was pretty quiet when I left up there, but it was getting really busy,” he said, attributing the increase to a heavy influx of tourists. The church he started remained in Pine and is now known as Mountain View Community Church; Ramsey and his wife brought Boise River Ministries down to Mountain Home. Now 62, Ramsey decided to continue his dual careers in law enforcement and ministry after newly elected Elmore County Sheriff Mike Hollinshead asked him about working as a deputy sheriffchaplain. “The two jobs are more similar than you’d think,” Ramsey said. “I love what I do; it’s the best job in the world.” He holds a “cop church” in his Mountain Home house. “Cops fall between the cracks in

church services,” he said. He explained there are several reasons for this, including: they work odd hours; they carry pagers that may go off during a service; and they tend to have strong personalities. All that makes Ramsey’s church perfect for them. “We can work with their weird schedules, and pagers can go off — even mine,” he said. As for their so-called strong personalities, Ramsey has nothing but admiration for anyone in the first line of defense when danger arises. “They’re a special breed, and I love them,” he said. “They can’t be thinskinned. They’re under extreme stress.” When he is called out to any sort of crime scene, whether a DUI crash or a homicide, he is also there for crime victims; but, he said, “My first concern is for deputies. Cops are different. They can’t come apart at the scene. You have to be a rock.” He wants to help the people who have to be strong for others’ sake. “They need to deal with the stress or they’re going to come apart,” he said. Out on the street, officers may project an in-control persona, but when they speak to Ramsey in his capacity as chaplain, nothing is off the table. “As first responders, they have to be objective and thorough, but the emotions are there. I want to be their safety valve. They have to be okay on the scene, but when they come into my office and we close that door, what is said in the office, stays in the office,” Ramsey said. Even in smaller communities such as Mountain Home these days, heinous crimes are sometimes committed.

Farrell Ramsey is both a law enforcement officer and a chaplain with the Elmore County Sheriff ’s Office. He leads a “cop church” every Sunday at his home. (Photo by Gaye Bunderson)

Elmore County Courthouse Photo byLarry D. Moore CC BY-SA 3.0.

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“There is no ‘Mayberry R.F.D.’ anymore,” he said. The sheriff is fully behind Ramsey’s work. “What Farrell does is very valuable to this agency. He brings an avenue to officers that deal with stress and emotional issues. He gives them an open door that they can go in and deal with it,” Hollinshead said. “He goes to their house and talks to them and helps them start the healing process. It helps them deal with the emotions of our day-to-day job that we deal with, the visuals, the things we see.” Did Ramsey originally picture himself in the role he’s now been cast in? “I’d like to say I planned this cop church,” he said, “but it just happened. It fell into my lap. I believe God designs us for what he wants us to do.” He admits he deals with the same potential for burnout as any other person in law enforcement, despite the “chaplain” in his title. He said he copes by being a fitness buff and by living with his best friend. “My wife is my No. 1 go-to person,” he said. She is involved with outreach as well. “She counsels with some of the ladies. She’s instrumental in working with cops’ spouses,” Ramsey said. He asserts that, despite everything, studies still show the primary reason people choose to work in law enforcement is to help other people. In that way he’s right: being a deputy and a chaplain aren’t as different as you’d think. n

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 17


Liberty Quartet

A ministry in four-part harmony By Gaye Bunderson Ministry is at the heart of everything Liberty Quartet does. Though the group’s members sing and entertain, their core purpose is service, and Southern gospel is the means by which they get their message across. Royce Mitchell was one of the group’s original founders in 1995. At the time, he served as a music minister at Boise First Church of the Nazarene, then on Liberty Street. When he got the idea to launch a musical group, three other men from the church joined him and Liberty Quartet was born. “Those first three original members were ‘weekend warriors,’” Mitchell said. “They worked jobs during the week and spent weekends in ministry with the quartet. It wore them out.” Over the next 22 years, the group would have 14 different members who came and went; Mitchell stayed with the group the entire time. The current group has three full-time members, and one member who works another job. Liberty Quartet doesn’t put on shows. “We don’t like the word ‘show,’” said Mitchell. “We’re a ministry.” They minister in nursing homes, prisons, and other nontraditional venues, reaching out to those who need to hear the word of God and to know they’re unconditionally loved by the Creator. “There’s a base (of supporters) that gives to the ministry every month, making it possible for us to sing in places like nursing homes,” he said. They have performed for as few as four people and for as many as 25,000 during a San Antonio faith-based conference. They are a non-demoninational group. Other members include: • Paul Ellis is a nine-year member of Liberty. As a pastor’s kid, he sat next to his mother and listened to her alto voice sing songs of worship. He started traveling and singing with groups in his teens. He is Liberty’s lead singer. • Derek Simonis is Liberty’s newest member, having recently moved here from Illinois. He started singing gospel music at an early age, being influenced by his mother, a pianist and music teacher. He is a baritone. • Philip Bratton is a six-year member of Liberty. He was raised in a minister’s home with a music-loving family. His parents sang, his father wrote music, and Bratton and his seven siblings performed together when Bratton was only 5. He is a tenor. Mitchell also started singing at an early age, performing at 13 with a group called The Gospel Four. He began singing in church at age

6. Though he now sings bass, he joked, “I was a tenor back then.” Members go through an extensive audition process before being accepted into Liberty. “We get a feel for their spirit, as well as their voice,” Mitchell said. The men climb into an Eagle Entertainment Coach and take to the road for their music and ministry commitments. “It’s like a family,” Mitchell said. Liberty music is featured regularly at AbundantRadio.com; the group’s CDs are for sale at LibertyQuartet.com; and there is an office with a staff at 55 SW 5th Ave., Ste. 100, in Meridian. Despite all that formality, Liberty is still a faith-based group that relies on God first and foremost. “It’s exciting. I wouldn’t change it. The Lord is providing,” Mitchell said. There have been occasions of miraculous provision, including “thousands of dollars to keep the ministry going,” said the co-founder. Liberty Quartet is one of two full-time Southern gospel quartets in the West; the other is Keepers of the Faith, based in Spokane. Southern gospel is a genre of Christian music sometimes known as “quartet music.” Mitchell said, “It’s evolving. … It’s traditional, and it’s contemporary.” It can “hit a bunch of styles,” he said, including swing, country, and barbershop quartet — “there’s nothing quite like four-part harmony.” Liberty has its own recorded instrumental music it uses for performances, or the men sometimes perform a cappella. For CDs, Liberty performs vocals in Boise at The Mix House. Instrumentals are done in different parts of the country, such as Tennessee and Georgia, and songs are written for the group by people from all over the country as well. Sometimes one person will write the lyrics, while another writes the music. All the moving parts are then brought together for the CDs and performances. Liberty has performed with the Gaither Vocal Band, among others — something the men all enjoy.

“It’s so much fun to share ministry with other groups, to see their talent, to see how God is working through them,” Mitchell said. The group often performs at church services. “We are ministers,” he said. “Sometimes we’re there to minister to the staff of the church, including the pastor. We all need encouragement. Fellowship is part of worship. “Some people think if you’re working for the Lord, you shouldn’t experience burnout. (I find that) if you do experience it, you’re doing something wrong, something for ‘self ’ and relying on yourself too much rather than on the Lord,” Mitchell said. He explained that when he hits the wall, he looks inward. “I ask, ‘What am I doing wrong?’ The Lord has shown me where I’ve gone off-track. Those have been some powerful moments.” Liberty Quartet’s schedule can sometimes be exhausting, driving through the night to get to ministry performances, where people are waiting to hear them — often many people. “It’s a big responsibility,” Mitchell said. “We’re on the road 200 days a year.” The singer-ministers have witnessed some amazing acts of God. Many people have come to the Lord through their

work, while others have had their faith renewed. “One gal...her son had just committed suicide, and she was driving to identify his body. She was ready to give up on the Lord. She had one of our CDs playing in the car, and she heard the song ‘Thank You Now.’ She knew the Lord still cared.” All the lyrics to every Liberty Quartet song can be found on the website, including “Thank You Now,” which includes the verse: “Lord, so many times you’ve proved just how good you are to me.” Six of the current or past 14 members of Liberty Quartet are military veterans. Though many former members have moved on from Liberty, none have moved on from ministry. Three are concert artists, while others serve as music ministers at their churches. But they are all — every one — still involved in ministry in some way. Liberty Quartet will hold a Christmas concert, called “The Wonder of Christmas,” beginning at 6:30 p.m. Sunday, December 10, at Valley Shepherd Church of the Nazarene at 150 W. Maestra St. in Meridian. For more information, go to http://www.libertyquartet.com/the-wonder-of-christmas. The group already has a full 2018 schedule, which can be viewed at http://www.libertyquartet.com/events. n

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 19

Members of Liberty Quartet are shown during a performance. Members are, from left: Derek Simonis, baritone; Paul Ellis, lead; Philip Batton, tenor; and Royce Mitchell, bass. The quartet travels frequently, but will be home in the Treasure Valley for a Christmas performance on December 10. (Courtesy photo)

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Q&A

Author writes book titled ‘People Are Good’ By Gaye Bunderson Editor’s note: Local author and editor, AnnaMarie McHargue, is releasing her “People Are Good” stories on November 14. McHargue, along with her sister, Anita Stephens, created the book to highlight the good ways people impact the lives of those around them every day. Below is a brief Q&A with McHargue. Q. What made you want to write this book? A. In 2016 I found myself in a tough job situation that was throwing my work life off balance. My home life felt off, too, as the political landscape that included endless bickering from both sides of the aisle left my extended family divided. The constancy of these situations began wreaking havoc on my normally positive thinking. I started to lose focus, and my lifelong work as an editor no longer brought me joy. But it wasn’t only me. I saw my friends struggling and sad. For whatever reasons, 2016 was a tough year for so many. One night in October, I felt myself becoming more and more frustrated, and more negative in my thinking, regardless of the subject matter. This was so very unlike me that I knew something had to be done. I had to change my narrative. I had to focus on the good. But how? That night, I kept saying to myself (or, really, God was saying to me), these are hard times, but people are good. My friends are good. My family is good. My husband is so very good. It was time to change my focus. “People

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Are Good: 100 True Stories to Restore Your Faith in Humanity” was born out of that thinking. It was time to start thinking about the many good things, and people, who surround us each day and whose tiny acts of kindnesses are changing the world. Q. How long did it take you to complete? A. The book from idea to published work will be exactly a year. The day after I decided to start the project, I contacted my sister (who is my sounding board and confidante, as well as my business partner) and asked what she thought. She said the book was a must! Q. How did you connect with the people who are profiled? A. Part of our website, wordswithsisters.com (Words With Sisters), included a form page where we asked people to send us their stories and where we outlined some extensive criteria for submitting a story. For example, the story had to be true. From our networks, as well as the networks of several of our friends, stories came streaming in. We spent a week in the spring narrowing down the stories that best exemplified someone’s meaningful act of kindness and the impact that gesture made on the recipient. We removed stories that discussed someone’s good character or lifetime of goodness, as we wanted instead to highlight how simple, one-time acts could change so much. I started rewriting the entries and my sister edited my work. Q. What are some of the other books you’ve written or plan to write? A. Because we received so many beautiful stories, there certainly is the opportunity for “More True Stories” at a later time. Until this point, however, I have been the editor of over 300 books and countless dissertations. Becoming a writer or author had never been part of my plan. n “People Are Good” is being published by Aloha Publishing in Eagle. For more information, go to https://www.alohapublishing.com.

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November / December 2017 | Christian Living 21


Consider This

Belong, believe, become: fit in By Dan Woodworth

him. Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew’s house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus’ followers. “What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff ?” Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: ‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.”

November and December are known as the holidays or holiday season in the United States. Thanksgiving and Christmas are the peak days. How do most of us feel during the holidays? If you are like me, I spent many years feeling awkward. Let me explain. Because of not feeling like I fit in, I really did not enjoy the Thanksgiving and Christmas times. I felt like there were unrealistic expectations and pressure to perform to be accepted. Many times we feel guilt or shame because everything is supposed to be perfect. As I have been praying, meditating in the On September 27 I received an email from Dan Woodworth Word of God and memorizing the verses a friend I had not heard from for 40 years. where Jesus healed people in the Gospels and He saw my article in the September/October the disciples healed people in the book of Acts, I noticed issue of Christian Living. He was asking if he knew me and something. that my name rang a bell in his memory. I wrote him back The truth I kept seeing and hearing was the people that Jethat day and said I was the first person sent to seminary from sus healed by Himself and through His disciples felt like they a newly formed church in Boise about 40 years ago. did not fit in. In fact, those people would make most of us feel During the afternoon of October 1, we got caught up by extremely uncomfortable being around them before they were talking for two and a half hours on the phone. Both of us had healed. similar experiences in the pastoral ministry. Both of us told Can you imagine a leper or someone who had a contagious each other that we never felt like we fit in. disease coming to a church meeting? How about a blind Near the end of our conversation I prayed for him and person or a mentally tormented person? Or any other person he prayed for me. When he was praying for me, he started who was healed in the New Testament? crying. Then I started crying. That spiritual and emotional None of the people that Jesus healed fit in. How many of us connection we experienced was a very deep healing for both feel like we don’t fit in? of us. In the Gospels, the only people who felt like they fit in were I sent him another email on October 2. Below you can see the ones who opposed Jesus. some of the content: Let’s look at His Resurrection Words in Matthew 9:9-13 in The Message: Thank You so much for allowing me to share my whole heart with you and for sharing your whole heart with me. Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collectI feel like a boy in kindergarten who is learning and loving the alphabet ing taxes. His name was Matthew. Jesus said, “Come and having fun at recess with a new friend. FREEDOM! along with me.” Matthew stood up and followed Since we moved back to Boise in January of 2004, I have had to

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stand alone “covering” My Most Beautiful Beloved Bride, Irene. Now I feel “covered” by you. Your love, grace, mercy, compassion, peace and joy have brought real safety and security to me. I feel like I can relax with you as Faithful Friend. You have my back. He emailed me back on October 3 and wrote: You leave me speechless, edified, exhorted, and comforted. Those simple words brought deep healing to my spirit and emotions. I felt like I Belong. I felt like I Believe. I felt like I can Become. I believe with my whole heart that He wants you to experience the same thing! My spiritual mentor and pastor for 26 years, Ann Wright, went to heaven on May 5, 2003. About a week before she was called home, she told her daughter that I was strong enough and she did not need to cover me anymore. From that point 14½ years ago until I received the email I previously described, I have grown by standing in the love and grace of our Lord. He has empowered me to stand in the victory of His crucifixion and resurrection. Many times I have had to stand alone. So have many of you. When my Faithful Friend started praying for me after we reconnected in the first email on September 27, I finally realized why I have felt like I have not fit in. Our Overcoming Living Lord revealed to me that He created me not to fit in. I saw that I can be who He created me to be. If my values don’t fit with a

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person or group, I am betraying myself by trying to fit in. Most of us have attempted to fit in. We can choose not to spend our time or energy doing that stress anymore. We can let our Living Lord help us find people who can earn our trust and respect our values. Dr. Brene’ Brown, a research professor of social work from the University of Houston, is an expert in the areas of courage, vulnerability, empathy and shame. She has the God-given ability to express in clear, concise and compelling words what I have felt in my heart for years. I believe she is a prophetess to the world and the Church. She has proven through research and her own personal healing journey that we have tried to perform to please people so we can be accepted. In her newest book, “Braving the Wilderness,” she proclaims powerfully that: True belonging is a spiritual practice and it’s about ability to find sacredness in both being a part of something, but also the courage to stand alone. If you need me to be someone different than who I am, it’s not gonna

Continued on page 31

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Talking to teens

Oh no, not the uncomfortable ‘s-word’! By Janet Lund

Talk About Fake News

Sex. It’s the one topic parents don’t want to talk about with their teen. Yet everywhere kids go they are being bombarded by the topic. On TV, radio, movies, social media, etc. It’s talked about 24/7. The ongoing message...“Everyone is doing it!” On the other hand, parents do talk about it to each other…especially moms. On social media and website blogs moms are discussing it. It’s very eye-opening to see what they say. One woman wrote, “Kids are going to have sex. That is just the way it is.” Women blog about teenage sex as if it is just a fact, like gravity.

Janet Lund

The Real Deal

Premarital sex among all teens is not a fact. Boys and girls are not victims of their hormones. However, their need for love is a fact. God created all of us to be in relationship with each other and with Him. We need each other. We need Him. We need love. Unfortunately, there are a lot of teens out there not getting the love they deserve at home. This leaves them feeling two things: 1. Unworthy of love 2. Desperate for love

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places So, they search for love in people outside of their home. Feeling unworthy of love leads kids to accept whatever

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form of love they can find. They would rather have something that at least seems like love than to not have it at all. That is often why kids engage in sexual activity. They are mistaking someone else’s lust for love. Sadly, this is a costly mistake. I observed firsthand the damage it causes. When I was doing youth ministry, two members of my youth group, despite our “sex talk,” chose to have sex with classmates during their first year in college. They both confided in me how devastated they were once their partners broke up with them. One girl immediately chopped all her hair off and became extremely depressed. The other needed counseling and anti-depressants to get through the experience. It was painful to watch these two, bright, talented young ladies in so much pain after making that one decision.

Home Needs to be Where the Heart Is

So, how do you keep your kids from looking for love in all the wrong places? By making sure your teen is getting all the love they deserve in the right place, at home. Here is how you can do this: 1. Communicate daily your love for them. 2. Make time daily to be a respectful listener, no matter how immature they may sound. 3. Strive daily to understand by reflecting back what you are hearing them say, and then ask questions. These three things will show your teen your real love. It will also make it much easier for you to engage your teen in a conversation about sex.

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How to Talk about the S-Word

When you do have that conversation: 1. Make it clear that despite what is broadcast on TV, movies, music, novels, online, or even gossiped about at school, “No, not everyone is doing it.” 2. Communicate the significance of two people becoming one. Sex not only involves giving your body but also your heart and soul to the other person. In the Bible, the Hebrew word for “glue” is used to describe the sexual union of two people. When people break up they are ripping themselves apart to become two people again. It leaves huge emotional scars. That is why it is important to understand sex is something sacred. 3. Marriage was created to be a safe place where we can be vulnerable with another person without fear or shame. It is where we can be naked both physically and emotionally. 4. God created sex to be shared between a married couple so they can have a whole lot of fun and make babies, too. Hence, people get pregnant when they have sex! It is kind of like married couple recess! 5. Sex is a beautiful thing at the right time with your Mr. or Mrs. Right.

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Extra Perks

PLUS! There are also many positives for waiting until marriage: 1. Freedom from sexually transmitted diseases. 2. Avoiding teenage pregnancies. 3. Freedom from painful experiences and flashbacks. 4. Freedom from comparing past lovers with your spouse. 5. Pure, innocent fun! Teach your kids that they aren’t victims of their hormones. Everyone has the power to say no to sex. It is not like gravity, and it isn’t something that everyone is doing before marriage. Help your teens maneuver their way through one of the biggest decisions to adulthood by talking to them about sex. Sex is worth the wait, but your kid doesn’t know that unless you tell them. Love. Inform. Celebrate. You’ve got this! n Janet Lund is a relationship coach who specializes in nurturing the bond between moms and their teen/pre-teen daughters. She leads moms through coaching, speaking, and songwriting. Janet has spoken and performed in Canada, the United States, and Norway. Follow her on facebook.com/momkeepcalm and visit her website momkeepcalm.com for parenting tools and words of support to be a calm mom.

November / December 2017 | Christian Living 25


Outdoors with Dougherty

Childhood memories from Christmases past and asked if he could come in. I got to sit on his lap and tell him everything I wanted. As he left, my mother handed him his overcoat. I said, Winter is here and, soon, another new year. “Wow, that’s neat, Santa! You got a coat just like I pray God will bless you and have His hand my dad!” With a “Ho! Ho! Ho!” he shuffled off of protection over you. May you feel His into the storm. presence and may 2018 be a year of peace That Christmas we were in Portland at my and contentment. Grandpa and Grandma Johnsons’. I was turnI always enjoy this time of year, with ing 6; Christmas is my birthday. Brother David Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the beginning was 11, Doug 9, and baby brother Tommy 6 of the New Year. A time to be with family months. I got just what I asked for — a Davy and friends, party and play, and watch the Crockett outfit, coonskin hat, and a flintlock bowl games. (That’s more of a man thing.) plastic rifle. You old timers will remember Davy Watching the excitement of the grandCrockett was a big deal. Fess Parker played him kids brings a smile to my face. Where have on Disney, and “The Ballad of Davy Crockett” the years gone? I can vividly remember all Dan Dougherty was a hit song. those times of anticipation, excitement and We weren’t supposed to play with guns around wonderment growing up. Do you remember Grandma. She didn’t think kids should have guns as a toy. being a Santa-believing child? Those times were magical. She grew up quite conservative. Her dad was a Free MethodLike everybody else back then we always had a “real” tree. ist minister and five of her six brothers were either pastors We would decorate it, and the presents would start collecting or missionaries. My dad was a minster and conservative, but under it. Presents from parents, grandparents, friends, family, realistic! and church members (perks of having a pastor dad). I always My grandpa took me aside and with a smile told me to had to wait for the one special present — the Big One. It came from Santa. With my brothers I would hang my Christ- keep out of her sight when I played with the toy gun and not to point it at people. He said if she accidentally saw me and mas stocking and go to bed. I would rush down Christmas asked what I was pointing at, “Tell her a bear with rabies.” morning with expectation. Santa never disappointed me. The next day I was in the kitchen pointing my rifle at my My kindergarten year, Mike Jones, my neighbor and friend, tried to educate me. He was older, a first grader. He informed reflection in the window. Grandpa was getting a glass of buttermilk out of the fridge. Grandma walked in and gave me a me that Santa was really my parents. They put the gifts out troubled look. I had not yet learned to keep my mouth shut after I was asleep. I was crushed. I went home and asked my and to only volunteer information if asked. I blurted out, “It’s mom. She told me as long as I believed in him, he would okay, Grandma, I’m shooting a bear with ‘babies.’” Grandpa come. A couple days later there was a knock at our door. For some about choked on his milk. Grandma gave him a disgusted look and walked out. unknown reason I beat my brothers to the door to answer Grandpa came over to me and said, “Rabies, r-rabies.” I it. They just sat there smiling...weird. At the door, in a snowasked, “What is that?” He said a disease that makes animals storm, was Santa bundled in an overcoat. He said my name

foam at the mouth and die. If they bite another animal, that animal will have it too. I didn’t say anything, but it scared me. I had thoughts of vampire animals. That was my last Santa-believing Christmas. I think with the help of my brothers and my increased reasoning power, I figured it out. I still got Christmas stockings and, as I got older, they were often filled with a box of shotgun shells, a knife, duck call, or something else hunting- or fishing-related. My large Santa presents were items like duck decoys, shell vests, or down coats. An activity I enjoyed over the years to promote the Christmas spirit was caroling. Our church youth group used to go to old folks homes and senior retirement centers for a singand-greet. We would sing, read the scriptures of the Christmas story, and mingle. Not all of our songs were religious. I haven’t found any Bible verses relating to “Frosty the Snowman” or “Jingle Bells.” They were not our grandparents, nor we their grandkids, but for an hour it seemed like it. It not only made their day, it made ours too. Two years ago our church choir went out one evening in the Cloverdale area of Boise. (Prevented by weather last year.) We split into two groups and caroled. The weather was not bad for the time of year. Luckily it was not windy. Everyone was so nice. As we sang, some would sing along with us. We left a 10 dollar Fred Meyer gift coupon at each house. This year when the Christmas season returns, celebrate it.

26 November / December 2017 | Christian Living

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By Dan Dougherty

www.boisechristianliving.com

Members of the Dougherty family in 1955. The parents are Jim and Doris. (Photo provided by Dan Dougherty)

Never forget the Reason for the Season. Without the birth, there would have been no resurrection. I hope “Merry Christmas” remains your key phrase for the season. May the holidays be a true time of thankfulness and celebration. Make sure you attend your church’s Christmas service or program. If you do not have a home church, ask friends for recommendations, or choose a church near you and check it out. If you still need to get in the Christmas mood, come over some evening to Caldwell and view the lights on Indian Creek or take in the annual Light Parade. n

November / December 2017 | Christian Living 27


Savor the Season

Grandmothers’ recipes win holiday

contest

By Gaye Bunderson Nine taste testers chose the winner in the 1st Annual Christian Living Magazine Savor the Season Recipe Contest. “There was only one vote difference between first and second place. It was very close,” Sandy Jones, Christian Living publisher, said. The winning recipe is Gramma’s Horn Cookies, submitted by Bonnie Wallace. Runner-up is American Home Pecan Pie, submitted by Cheryl Smith, who also contributed her Grandmother Pauline’s pie crust recipe. Bonnie Wallace, 76, said she enjoyed Gramma’s Horn Cookies as a child every Christmas, when her grandmother, Mabel Decker of Nampa, made them for her family. The delicious cookies continue to be an annual family favorite, and the recipe continues to be passed down through the generations. It is with great joy that Bonnie shared this recipe with our Christian Living readers. Cheryl called her grandmother’s pecan pie recipe “simple to make, and tasty.” “Having Grandma Pauline at my parents’ house during the Christmas holiday season was a huge part of my family’s traditions. Grandma’s pie-making skills were exceptionable,” Cheryl said. “What made Grandma’s pies so enjoyable was her ability to make flaky pie crust. Hands down, her pecan pie was the best.” Both Cheryl’s grandmother and mother reached a point where they were no longer able to keep up the traditional pie-making, so Cheryl and her sisters stepped in to help out, using Grandma Pauline’s well thumbed and timeworn recipe book. Thanks to everyone for their submissions. We hope you’ll try the winning recipes this year, and next year, submit one of your own for others to enjoy. n

Savor the Season Winner Gramma’s Horn Cookies Submitted by Bonnie Wallace Ingredients: 4 c. flour 2 c. sugar ½ lb. filberts, ground fine ½ lb. walnuts, ground fine 1 lb. butter Directions: Knead all ingredients until batter is mixed thoroughly. Shape dough into balls in the palm of your hand, the size of walnuts in their shells. Roll into a 3- to 4-inch log, and then shape into a crescent. Test bake 3 or 4 samples in a 400 degree oven 5 to 8 minutes; do not overbake. Cookies should be lightly browned. Continue shaping dough and baking until gone. Let cool 10 minutes on wire racks, and then roll in superfine powdered sugar.

Savor the Season Runner-Up American Home Pecan Pie Submitted by Cheryl A. Smith Prep time: 10 minutes Baking time: 50-55 minutes Ingredients: 3 eggs 1 c. sugar 1 c. light or dark corn syrup 2 Tbsp. melted butter or margarine 1 tsp. vanilla ¼ tsp. salt 1-1½ c. pecan halves 1 unbaked 9-inch pastry shell

Above is a photo of pages taken from Grandma Pauline’s cookbook.

Directions: Beat eggs slightly in medium-sized bowl; beat in sugar. Blend in corn syrup, melted butter or margarine, vanilla, salt, and pecans. Pour into unbaked pastry shell. Bake in hot oven (400° F.) 15 minutes; reduce heat to moderate (350° F.); continue baking 35-40 minutes or until browned and slightly puffed. Cool before serving. 490 calories per serving (1/6 of 9-inch pie) Source of Vitamins A, B, C Tested in The American Home Kitchens

Pie Crust Submitted by Cheryl A. Smith Ingredients: Directions: 2 c. flour Mix the ingredients and then 2/3 c. Crisco or other shortening roll the dough to fit the pie tin. 4 Tbsp. ice water

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Consider This

Sunday Morning Services & Sunday School 9:30 AM & 11:00 AM

be successful. Our worth and our belonging are not negotiated with other people. We carry those inside our hearts. Choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast and easy. There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary and we’ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone somewhere will say, Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness. This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, I am the wilderness. People are afraid of the wilderness, but when you get out there you’ll find some people like us out there and it’s so free.

CALDWELL

Boise

CHURCH DIRECTORY

CloverdaleChurch.org

3/4-17

3755 S. Cloverdale Boise • 362-1700

Family to grow fruitful in Jesus Sunday Morning Service 9:30

Sundays 9:30 a.m. Bible Classes 10:45 a.m. Worship 615 N. 9th Street • Boise

(*Must be 21 or older)

1/2-17

Loyal To One Ministry Serving the least, the lost & the forgotten.

(208)884-8599 www.loyalto1.org

1/2-17

Come Join Us for Sunday Services at 10:30 AM 232 N Main St, Meridian

(208) 631-4438 capitolcitychristian.org

1/2-17

MERIDIAN

208-286-9438

Commongroundbikerchurch.com

MERIDIAN

MERIDIAN

All Bikes & Hot Rods Welcome Meeting at Busted Shovel Bar & Grill — 704 N. Main • Meridian

600 N. Ten Mile Rd. Meridian, ID

For information on adding your church to this directory, please call 208-713-6357 or email: boisechristian living@gmail.com

You are invited Sundays...

Worship Service 8 am, 9:30 am, 11 am Bible Study 9:30 & 11 am Children’s Church 11 am

The reason I shared those quotes from Brene’ Brown is because I believe vulnerability is a critical aspect of life that we need to explore in the Church. Courage requires vulnerability. Shame is driven out through vulnerability. So many believers are trapped in shame because of fear. We are afraid to let people know how we really feel because we feel they will reject us. Perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18) Jesus gave us a new commandment that supersedes all of the others. Listen to His Loving Wonderful Words in John 13:34-35 in The Message: Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my

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disciples — when they see the love you have for each other. How does Jesus love us? He loves us as we are! Then He transforms us as we experience His perfect love. If we love each other the way He loves us, we don’t have to fit in! We can BE! Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLB) This Thanksgiving and Christmas let the Holy Spirit lead you to the right people at the right place in His healing transforming time to fulfill His perfect plan! Let Him, and safe people He has chosen for you, love you and heal you. Then do the same for someone who feels like they don’t fit in. We can choose to embrace Thanksgiving and Christmas as a celebration of His love for us, in us and through us! Belong – Believe – Become! Dr. Dan Woodworth earned his Doctor of Ministry (DMin) degree from the King’s University in Los Angeles in 2009. His passion is to encourage and empower people with the transforming power of hope and

healing to become all they are created to be. He and his beautiful bride, Irene, have planted three churches. They are in the process of creating a cross/cultural, cross/generational healing community solving pressing problems in Boise and beyond. He may be reached at dan@ danwoodworth.org.

Join us Wednesday Nights at 6:45 pm for: • AWANA - Pre-K - to 6 grade • Youth Group • Adult Bible Studies Pastor Clint Henry: clint@centralvalleybaptist.com

centralvalleybaptist.com

The Sanctuary

1/2-17

30 November / December 2017 | Christian Living

Sunday Service 10 AM Wednesday Service 7 PM New Location! 212 W. Main Street Middleton • 546-9845 Scowboychurch.com

1/2-17

MIDDLETON

Cowboy Church

www.boisechristianliving.com

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