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The

Drumpfster Fire

chronicles Week

14


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The

Drumpfster Fire

chronicles Week

14

A Talbot‑‑Heindl Experience LLC Zine By: Chris Talbot‑‑Heindl


April

22 2017

cientists and their supporters took to the streets for March for Science rallies on Earth Day to protest the policies of Drumpf and how they are ignoring the best-known science and trying to silent reports and scientists. There were marches and teach-ins in about 600 cities around the world. Drumpf doesn’t believe in climate change, believes vaccines cause autism, has cut staffing for science-based agencies, and has silenced government agencies working on science research.

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obert Proctor, a professor of history of science at Stanford University had this to say about the marches: ““The march is pretty unprecedented in terms of the scale and breadth of the scientific community that’s involved, and it does recall Physicians for Social Responsibility and various scientific groups against nuclear war in the Reagan era, that’s I think the most recent precedent. But this is even broader in the sense that there’s a broader perception of a massive attack on sacred notions of truth that are sacred to the scientific community.”

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rumpf once again proved that he has no idea what a Purple Heart is when he awarded one to Army Sergeant First Class Alvaro Barrientos. “When I heard about this, I wanted to do it myself,” he said, “Congratulations on behalf of Melania and myself and the entire nation. Tremendous job, congratulations.” My guess is that Barrientos would rather have his leg than the Purple Heart. Then he awkwardly held Barrientos’ shoulders as a photo op.

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rumpf took to Twitter to celebrate Earth Day with a tweet: “I am committed to keeping our air and water clean but always remember that economic growth enhances environmental protection. Jobs matter!”

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rumpf announced that he plans to hold a 100th day campaign rally in Pennsylvania since he’s not attending the White House Correspondents’ dinner as all other presidents have. “Next Saturday night I will be holding a BIG rally in Pennsylvania. Look forward to it!” No, I will not, thank you.

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April

23 2017

rumpf tweeted very presidentially about the spending bill and his Great Wall. “The Democrats don’t want money from budget going to border wall despite the fact that it will stop drugs and very bad MS 13 gang members.” And “Eventually, but at a later date so we can get started early, Mexico will be paying, in some form, for the badly needed border wall.”

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hite House Budget Director Mick Mulvaney went on the Sunday morning news to press Congress for funding for Drumpf’s Great Wall. He even went so far as to say that Drumpf might refuse to sign a spending bill that didn’t include money for his magic wall. If he doesn’t sign it, the government would be forced into another shut down. To cover his and Drumpf’s ass, he added, “I don’t think anybody is trying to get a shutdown. A shutdown is not a desired end. It’s not a tool. It’s not something we want to have. We want our priorities funded…And part of that was a border wall.”

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ox News anchor Sandra Smith was schooled by a farmer from Nebraska on the Keystone XL pipeline. She was talking the party line of creating jobs and reducing dependence on foreign oil. “But it’s going across America to be refined and exported, which is not for America’s use,” Art Tanderup, the farmer stated. “If they do not mix some high-quality crude with this, the best they get is poor-grade diesel fuel, which we can’t even burn in this country.”

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n a crazy interview with the Associated Press, Drumpf began by bragging about getting Aya Hijazi released, before the Associated Press reporter could even get a question out. She asked him how he managed it. “No, just – you know, I asked the government to let her out. You know, Obama worked on it for three years, got zippo, zero.”

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little later in the interview, he began bragging about his relationship with German Chancellor Angela Merkel – totally unprodded. “Yeah, it’s funny: One of the best chemistries I had was with Merkel.” Throughout his campaign, he referred to her as a “catastrophic” chancellor “ruining” Germany, and there was the hand-shaking incident.

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rumpf compared his success for Drumpfcare to Obamacare. “And you’ve got to understand, I’ve only been here now 93 days, 92 days. President Obama took 17 months to do Obamacare. I’ve been here 92 days but I’ve only been working on the healthcare, you know I had to get like a little bit of grounding right. Healthcare started after 30 days, so I’ve been working on healthcare for 60 days…You know, we’re very close. And it’s a great plan, you know, we have to get it approved.”

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April

23 2017

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hen asked about the 100-day plan he put out as a presidential candidate, he denied it came from him. “Somebody, yeah, somebody put out the concept of a hundred-day plan. But yeah, well I’m mostly there on most items.” He has pretty much failed on all of the legislative goals in his 100-day action plan and Contract with the American Voter – including Durmpfcare, the Muslim Ban, Drumpf’s Great Wall, draining the swamp, etc.

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he reporter asked if the spending bill arrive don his desk without funding for the wall, would he sign it. Drumpf stated, “I don’t know yet. People want the border wall.” In actuality a very clear majority of Americans don’t want the border wall. He then rephrased: “My base definitely wants the border wall, my base really wants it – you’ve been to many of the rallies…My base, which is a big base; I think my base is 45%.”

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e claimed during the interview that the Electoral College is “very difficult for a Republican to win” because it’s “so skewed” toward Democrats. In actuality, the Electoral College has a bias for Republicans due to gerrymandering and the fact that Democratic voters are usually concentrated in major cities. Republicans usually live in the sticks, so their votes count for quite a bit more than inner-city folk.

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rumpf then admitted that when he was attacking NATO and claiming that they did nothing, he didn’t actually know what they did. He also claimed that “back when they did NATO there was no such thing as terrorism.”

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lso during the interview, Drumpf attempted to rewrite history by claiming he never supported WikiLeaks: “Never heard of Wikileaks, never heard of it. When Wikileaks came out, all I was just saying is, ‘Well, look at all this information here, this is pretty good stuff’…I don’t support or unsupport.” Unfortunately for Drumpf, we have recordings of what he’s said, including on October 10, 2016: “Wikileaks! I love Wikileaks!”

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hen asked about the lies he’s told about Representative Elijah Cummings since becoming president, Drumpf offered this: “Well, he said, you’ll be the greatest president in the history of, but you know what, I’ll take that also, but that you could be. But he said, will be the greatest president but I would also accept the other. In other words, if you do your job, but I accept that. Then I watched him interviewed and it was like he never even was here. It’s incredible. I watched him interviewed a week later and it’s like he was never in my office. And you can even say that.”

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rumpf then compared his ratings to September 11th. “It’s the highest for ‘Face the Nation’ or as I call it, ‘Deface the Nation.’ It’s the highest for ‘Deface the Nation’ since the World Trade Center – since the World Trade Center came down.” He claimed that he accumulated 5.2 million viewers for a CBS talk show, although on top of that being an incredibly tone-deaf brag, doesn’t even appear to be true.

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April

24 2017

monument to a white-supremacist uprising was removed in the middle of the night in New Orleans by workers who were decked in masks and bulletproof vests due to death threats they received from white supremacists. This is the first of four statues to be removed from the city. “We will no longer allow the Confederacy to literally be put on a pedestal in the heart of our city…The statue was put up to honor the killing of police officers by white supremacists. Of the four that we will move, this statue is perhaps the most blatant affront to the values that make America and New Orleans strong today.” Mayor Mitch Landreiu said of the removals.

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rumpf instructed his advisers to make cutting the corporate tax rate from 35% to 15% a priority in his tax-cut blueprint. For comparison, The Talbot-Heindls’ are about $10k away from crossing the border into middle class and they pay 15% on their taxes. It is also lower than what Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan proposed. The nonpartisan Tax Policy Center estimated that Drumpf’s corporate tax plan he ran on during the presidential campaign would cost $2.4 trillion in ten years. That didn’t include this tax cut.

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he State Department website highlights and promotes Drumpf’s Mar-a-Lago estate (ahem…Southern White House). A blog post details the history of the resort and that the founder constructed it to be used by US presidents to “entertain visiting foreign dignitaries.” It claims that Drumpf is “belatedly fulfilling the dream of Mar-a-Lago’s original owner and designer” by hosting everything down there. What it doesn’t say is that Drumpf bought it outright in 1985 and gleans any monies brought in by hosting the “Winter White House” at the estate. Senator Ron Wyden tweeted to the State Department: “Why are taxpayer $$ promoting the President’s private country club?” Why indeed.

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rumpf is expected to order a review of all national monuments designated by Obama, including Bears Ears and the Stonewall Inn. The Stonewall Inn is the birthplace of the LGBT rights movement. When Obama designated it, he said, “Stonewall will be our first national monument to tell the story of the struggle for LGBT rights…I believe our national parks should reflect the full story of our country, the richness and diversity and uniquely American spirit that has always defined us…That we are stronger together. That out of many, we are one.”

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ress Secretary Spicer had a little help during the press briefing in the form of Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley and Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin. Ambassador Haley seemed to want to give participation points to Drumpf in relation to foreign policy, “I think that [the UN] are thrilled with the engagement that they had. And I think it shows that the President is very engaged on foreign policy, and they see that. The idea that he would sit down and want to talk to them about each of their countries and the Security Council collectively is massive for a President to be able to do this, and it was certainly helpful for the United States.”

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ecretary Mnuchin was asked about Drumpf’s anticipated tax reform. “What does the middle class gain if there is a simplification but also a loss of deductions, whatever they might be. If we lose the deductions, how does that help the middle class?” Mnuchin answered, “the average American should be able to do their taxes on a large postcard.” Which doesn’t really explain how that will save them any money, unless he anticipates paper becoming an insurmountable cost in the next year.

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April

24 2017

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e was asked how the anticipated Drumpf tax reform would be “revenue-neutral.” Secretary Mnuchin answered, “Again, what I’ve said before is, the tax plan will pay for itself with economic growth.” So, we seem to be in the trickle down method yet again.

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hroughout the press briefing, reporters tried to get a straight answer from Press Secretary Sean Spicer about whether or not Drumpf’s Great Wall was a hinging point in the budget negotiations. He kept saying he didn’t want to “get ahead of it.”

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ecretary Spicer bumbled his way through a question about DACA stating that Drumpf’s priorities are to deport those with a criminal record and that “he has a big heart.” The reporter then tried to clarify that statement that Drumpf made saying that DACA defied federal law and was illegal. Spicer couldn’t quite answer the question and kept talking instead of criminals and Drumpf’s big heart, then he abruptly refused to answer more questions about it: “I’ve just walked through the question.”

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ecretary Spicer was pressed about the 100 days promises, of which there were 103, and he has kept 6 of them. He had promised 10 pieces of legislation, of which only one was even introduced. Again, Spicer couldn’t answer and instead talked about all of the Executive Orders he signed. “But I don’t think there’s any question that the President has done a significant amount for the American people one the issues that he has put forward during the campaign.”

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he State Department removed the article from its website that advertised Drumpf’s Mar-a-Lago estate and resort club. It issued a formal apology for “any misperception.” “The intention of the article was to inform the public about where the president has been hosting world leaders.”

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April

24 2017

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rumpf backed down on his insistence that the border wall be funded. He told a group of conservative journalists that he might accept a spending bill that included money for border security instead of Drumpf’s Great Wall. A figurative, rather than literal wall.

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factory audit was released for Ivanka Trump’s fashion line, which showed that workers in a factory in China worked nearly 60 hours a week to earn $62. Ivanka Trump turns around and sells her dresses for $158 and blouses for $79. This, right after Ivanka tried to claim to be a champion of workers’ rights and the “buy American, hire American” bullshit.

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hite supremacists celebrated Confederate Memorial Day in Alabama and Mississippi.

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ill O’Reilly held a podcast on the same day he was supposed to return to work at Fox News. He decided that instead of an apology, he should claim to be a victim. “I am sad that I’m not on television anymore. I was very surprised how it all turned out. I can’t say a lot, because there’s much stuff going on right now. But I can tell you that I’m very confident the truth will come out, and when it does, I don’t know if you’re going to be surprised – but I think you’re going to be shaken, as I am.”


April

25 2017

rumpf took to Twitter to inform his followers of all the political goings-on. “Don’t let the fake media tell you that I have changed my position on the WALL. It will get built and help stop drugs, human trafficking, etc.”

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e also tweeted “Canada has made business for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin and other border states very difficult. We will not stand for this. Watch!” I guess we can add geography to the long list of things that Drumpf knows nothing about.

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hite House Advisor via nepotism, Ivanka Trump, was somehow featured on a W20 Summit Panel on women entrepreneurship, as the US representative for female business leaders. The other members of the panel included Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel, Canadian Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland, Netherlands’ Queen Maxima, and International Monetary Fund Managing Director Christine Lagarde. The audience wanted to know what Ivanka’s role was on the panel as well as in the White House. She said that her goal was “empowering women in the workplace.”

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April

25 2017

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he attempted to make a comment that Drumpf was some sort of feminist, calling him a “tremendous champion of supporting families.” The audience literally hissed at her. After all, this is the man famous for bragging, “grab them by the pussy” and who refused to shake Chancellor Merkel’s hand. The moderator asked her to respond to the hissing, “some attitudes toward women your father has displayed might leave one questioning whether he’s such an empowerer for women.” True to this administration’s form, she blamed the media. Ivanka responded that she “heard the criticisms from the media that’s been perpetuated.”

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rumpf announced that he would impose a tariff on Canadian lumber in retaliation for what he claimed was unfair treatment of American dairy farmers. The tariffs would be between 3-24% and imposed retroactively dating back 90 days. He also announced he was thinking about pulling out of NAFTA, which made the Mexican peso plummet.

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ress Secretary Sean Spicer had a little help during the press briefing, in the form of the Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross to explain the crazy tariff imposed on the lumber from Canada. “There is roughly $15 billion worth of softwood lumber used in houses in this country, and about 31.5% of that comes from the Canadians. So that’s roughly $5 billion a year. A 20% tariff on that is essentially a billion dollars a year. And the retrospective 90-day feature adds another $250 million to that on a one-time basis.”

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reporter asked Secretary Ross, “Mr. Secretary, Canada is an extremely close ally and a neighbor. Are you comfortable with how this has worked out in terms of what it means for the overall relationship between our two countries?” He answered that Canada has “generally” been a good neighbor. When pressed on what that meant, he responded, “Well, things like this I don’t regard as being a good neighbor – dumping lumber. And there’s a feeling in the dairy industry that they’re a little bit abrupt in the action they took the week before.”

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nother reporter asked, “The Canadian government said that those are unfair tariffs. And each time the case was brought to an international court, Canada won its case. What do you answer to this?” Secretary Ross answered, “I had nothing to do with the prior cases.” That’s reassuring.

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nother reporter asked, “Mr. Secretary, in other words, why not try to resolve this in not-so-public fashion? You’re coming in the Briefing Room. You’re obviously trying to flex the muscles of this administration. What would you say to the layman out there who says, why is President Trump messing with the Canadians now?” Secretary Ross responded that they make these sort of things “publicly all the time.”

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April

25 2017

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nother reporter tried to find out what the point of the large tariff really was. “It seems to me that the object of the 25% tariff on soft lumber coming out of Canada is not to raise wood prices, it’s to save and create American forestry jobs and loggers who are losing their jobs right now as a result of dumping. Has the administration done a study? Do you know how many American jobs are going to be saved by this tariff?” Secretary Ross: “I don’t have an exact total, but I can tell you it’s in quite a few states.”

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n his introductory statement, Press Secretary Sean Spicer told some porkers: “Despite the historic obstruction by Senate Democrats, he’s worked with Congress to pass more legislation in his first 100 days than any President since Truman. And these bills deliver on some of his most significant promises to the American people.”

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eporters grilled Secretary Spicer on the Michael Flynn situation and he expertly evaded every question, including asking for updates and clarifications on statements he had made previously in other press briefings, such as that Michael Flynn was the “victim of a media witch hunt” that were found to be #altfacts.

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ournalists investigating the abuse, torture, and killing of gay men in Chechnya have uncovered evidence of four more prisons, meaning there are at least six prisons. The Drumpf administration has yet to make a comment on the situation.

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rumpf finally denounced anti-Semitism during the annual Holocaust Remembrance Ceremony speech. “We pledge – never again. We must never shrink away about telling the truth about evil in our time. We know that in the end, good will triumphs over evil.” He then added, “Those who deny the Holocaust are complicit in it.” This would include Drumpf, Spicer, and many of his administration.

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udge William Orrick of the United States District Court in San Francisco temporarily blocked Drumpf’s efforts to withhold money from sanctuary cities. Judge Orrick wrote that Drumpf overstepped his powers with the Executive Order by linking billions of dollars of federal funding to immigration. Judge Orrick said that only Congress has that power.

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eporters unmasked the creator of Reddit’s /r/TheRedPill subreddit, a forum for discussing pickup-artist techniques and Men’s Rights Activism. The founder of the forum is New Hampshire Republican Robert Fisher. Some of his posts include: “I’m going to say it – Rape isn’t an absolute bad, because the rapist I think probably likes it a lot. I think he’d say it’s quite good, really.”

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25 2017

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enator Mike Enzi told a group of high school and middle school students that it’s okay to be queer as long as you don’t tell anyone. If you are open about it, don’t be surprised if you get picked on or treated differently. A student asked hi, “What work are you and your comrades doing to improve the life of the LGBT community in Wyoming? How do you plan to help Wyoming live up to its name as ‘The Equality State’?” Enzi replied: “We always say that in Wyoming you can be just about anything you want to be, as long as you don’t push it in somebody’s face. I know a guy who wears a tutu and goes to bars on Friday night and is always surprised that he gets in fights. Well, he kind of asks for it.”

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he Drumpfcare 2.0 proposal allows states to waive Obamacare’s ban on pre-existing conditions. Republican legislatures however, decided that wasn’t good enough for their own health care, so they exempted their own insurance from this provision. Director of the Protect Our Care Campaign, Leslie Dach stated, “The best evidence yet that the new GOP repeal plan is a disaster for people’s health care is that the GOP exempted Members of Congress from living under it.”

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he United Nations contacted the Drumpf administration as part of an investigation into whether repealing Obamacare without an adequate substitute would be a violation of several international conventions. The letter was sent by Dainius Puras who has the title of Special Rapporteur on the right of everyone to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of physical and mental health. Puras wrote that “retrogressive measures taken in relation to the right to health are not permissible.”

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rumpf, ever the professional, decided to slam the Judge that ruled against his Sanctuary Cities Executive Order. “Once again, a single district judge – this time in San Franciso – has ignored federal immigration law to set a new immigration policy for the entire country.” This is of course an #altfact. Drumpf tried to set a new immigration policy; the judge followed the law to halt it.

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group of 13 current and former employees of Fox News sued Fox alleging years of “hostile racial discrimination.” 11 people filed a class-action lawsuit, and two others filed separate suits. Each complaint is against Judith Slater who was fired by Fox News in February. According to the lawsuits, Slater mocked the way people of color pronounced words like “month” and “ask,” called black men “women beaters,” and used racial stereotypes to describe Mexicans, Chinese men, and people of Indian descent. The class-action lawsuit described a cover-up culture at Fox News that enabled the hostile work environment to continue.

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he House Oversight Committee determined that Michael Flynn, Drumpf’s first National Security Advisor, may have violated federal law by not disclosing his dealings with Russia when he applied for security clearance to work in the White House.

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April

26 2017

rumpf took to Twitter early in the morning to chastise the judicial system some more, “First the Ninth Circuit rules against the ban & now it hits again on sanctuary cities-both ridiculous rulings. See you in the Supreme Court!”

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rumpf tweeted a happy birthday to Melania…with a graphic that had a 39 star American flag. In 1889, there were 39 states in the union, which finally answers the question of when Drumpf believed America was great.

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rumpf signed an Executive Order instructing Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke to review any national monument created since January 1, 1996. He claimed that revoking some of the national monuments would “end another egregious use of government power.” He also stated that revoking them would “end these abuses and return control to the people, the people of all of the states, the people of the United States.” What he doesn’t seem to know is that most Americans approve of and actually want more national monuments declared, not less.

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rumpf was particularly interested in overturning the Bears Ears monument to open up the pristine area for oil and gas leasing. “I’ve spoken with many state and local leaders, a number of them here today, who care very much about preserving our land and who are gravely concerned about this massive federal land grab… And now we’re going to free it up, which is what should have happened in the first place…And tremendously positive things are going to happen on that incredible land, the likes of which there is nothing more beautiful anywhere in the world.” The only thing that can happen if it is not a monument that can’t happen if it is oil and gas leasing, ranching, timber harvest, and mining – all things that would destroy the “incredible land.”

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he Super Republicans of the House Freedom Caucus gave its approval of Drumpfcare 2.0, which is a more conservative version of the first. The latest proposal allows states to obtain waivers from federal mandates including the one to cover preexisting conditions, essential health benefits (including emergency services, maternity care, mental health, substance abuse services, etc.). The latest polls show that 62% of Americans support nationwide insurance coverage standards and only 33% would leave the standards up to the states.

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ress Secretary Sean Spicer had a little help for the press briefing in the form of Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin and Director of the National Economic Council Gary Cohn. Director Cohn framed the explanation of Drumpf’s tax reform as a benefit to lower- and middle-income Americans, although all independent studies have shown it would disproportionately benefit the super wealthy.

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April

26 2017 continued

ecretary Mnuchin then took over and seemed to be trying to say that if the corporate rate was lowered, fewer companies would “leave trillions of dollars offshore.” The Drumpf tax reform plan involved a one-time opportunity to bring offshore money to the US without a penalty. Drumpf’s tax proposal changes the corporate rate from 35% to 15%.

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hen asked specifics about Drumpf’s tax reform, Director Cohn complained. “We are working very diligently with the House and the Senate on coming up with the final details of the bill. You’re going into very micro-details on some of these.” A reporter had to remind him, “And very important ones.”

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reporter asked, “Exactly a year ago, then candidate Trump was asked if he believes in raising taxes on the wealthy. He said, ‘I do, I do, including myself, I do.’ So my question is, why isn’t he doing that? And will the President end up paying more or less taxes as a result of this plan?” Secretary Mnuchin avoided the question. “I would comment that our objective, okay, is the reduction of taxes will be offset by significant reduction of deductions in other items so that the effective tax rate is what we’re focused on.”

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he Drumpf Tax Plan reduces the number of individual tax brackets from seven to three and lowers the top rate by nearly 5% easing the tax burden on the super rich. It neglects to say where the brackets begin and end. The other brackets are 10% and 25%, which is a huge jump. The justification for this change came from White House Economic Adviser Gary Cohn, who stated that reducing the number of tax brackets simplifies the tax code. Which is ridiculous. That only involves looking at the damned table in the back of the booklet.

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he Drumpf Tax Plan also the alternative minimum tax, which makes it harder for the super rich to pay less tax. Drumpf was affected by the provision to the tune of $31 million in 2005, so he is now killing the provision. The Drumpf Tax Plan also repeals the Inheritance Tax, known by wealthy Republicans as the “death tax.” The repeal of this regulation will help rich people say filthy rich.

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he Drumpf Tax Plan itself was a one-pager with bullet points that appeared to be a list of wishes rather than a “plan,” considering there was no phase-in periods or dates. That didn’t stop Director Cohn from touting it as a landmark page. “We have a once-ina-generation opportunity to do something really big. President Trump has made tax reform a priority, and we have a Republican Congress that wants to get it done.” Such a priority, he wrote up an entire page!

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nder Drumpf’s Tax Plan, the Waltons from Walmart would receive $53 billion in tax cuts, the Koch Brothers would receive $34 billion, and Drumpf’s children would receive $4 billion. The relief that any lower or middle class individual would receive would be negligible and they would pay for it later down the road with a loss of services.

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26 2017

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epublican House Representative Randy Weber sobbed as he prayed for god to forgive America for marriage equality and abortion along with 20 different members of Congress. He begged god to forgive lawmakers for trampling “on Your holy institution of holy matrimony and tried to rewrite what it is, and we’ve called it an alternative lifestyle. Father, oh Father, please forgive us,” while awkwardly performance crying and then asked for forgiveness for “killing the most innocent amongst us.” Other members of Congress that participated were Republican Senators Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Chuck Grassley, and Republican Representatives Franks, King, and Jordan.

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he Drumpf administration’s Department of Homeland Security opened a hotline for anyone who wanted to report crimes committed against them by “removable criminal aliens” in its latest witch hunt. Hilariously, Americans around the country used it to report space alien and UFO sightings. Officials at the US Immigration and Customs Enforcements complained, “There are certainly more constructive ways to make one’s opinions heard than to prevent legitimate victims of crime from receiving the information and resources they seek because the lines are tied up by hoax callers.” Not under this administration there isn’t.

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rumpf told Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that he would not terminate the North American Free Trade Agreement hours after an administration official said he was going to sign an order that would pull out of the North American Trade Agreement. He then claimed to be revamping the agreement single-handedly. “It is my privilege to bring NAFTA up-to-date through renegotiation…I believe that the end result will make all three countries stronger and better.”

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April

27 2017

rumpf took to Twitter in the early hours to send out a torrent of tweets accusing the Democrats of trying to shut down the government, destroy the military, and more. “The Democrats want to shut government if we don’t bail out Puerto Rico and give billions to their insurance companies for OCare failure. No!”, “I want to help our miners while the Democrats are blocking their healthcare,” “I promise to rebuild our military and secure our border. Democrats want to shut down the government. Politics!” Etc. What’s funny about this is that Democrats have working to try and avoid a government shut down. Drumpf threatened it earlier by saying that he might not sign a spending bill that didn’t include funding for his beloved Great Wall.

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he Pentagon launched an investigation into ex-Drumpf National Security Advisor Michael Flynn’s foreign money and whether he received permissions to do it. The Pentagon advised retiring officers from receiving payments from foreign governments because he could be recalled to military service if needed. Documents released show that he was explicitly told in 2014.

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27 2017

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rumpf told Reuters in an interview that he thought being President would be easy. “I loved my previous life. I had so many things going. I actually - this is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.” He followed up that with a brag about his Electoral College win, because of course he did: “Here, you can take that, that’s the final map of the numbers. It’s pretty good, right? The red is obviously us.”

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uring the interview he also stated that we could get into an armed conflict with North Korea. “There is a chance that we could end up having a major, major conflict with North Korea. Absolutely.”

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e also tried to explain what happened with his dramatic NAFTA switch: “I get a call from Mexico yesterday, ‘We hear you’re going to terminate NAFTA.’ I said that’s right. They said, ‘Is there any way we can do something without you – without termination?’ I said, ‘What do you want to do?’ He said, ‘Well, we’d like to negotiate.’ I said we’ll think about it. Then I get a call, and they call me, I get a call from Justin Trudeau and he said, ‘We’d like to see if we can work something out,’ and I said that’s fine. Because I’ve always – I’ve been very consistent. It’s much less disruptive if we can make a fair trade deal than if we terminate.”

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epublicans decided not to push for a vote for Drumpfcare 2.0 without the votes, and began changing the narrative. House Speaker Paul Ryan said, “We’re going to go when we have the votes,” and added that they wouldn’t be constrained by “some artificial deadline.” What he failed to mention was that the deadline was imposed by Drumpf and themselves.

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ress Secretary Sean Spicer was asked what specific changes Drumpf wanted to see in the NAFTA renegotiations. “I think when you look at the various sectors – it’s obviously being a multilateral agreement – there are areas in Canada, sectors where there’s agriculture, manufacturing, services – that we look on both of them, where I think there’s both a modernization, recognizing the world has changed, and also some trade imbalances and issues have come up, and also, frankly, some areas that fall outside the scope of NAFTA as it was negotiated at the beginning that I think we want to look at it.” Clear as mud.

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reporter asked about the Drumpf tax cuts, “As you know, under both the Reagan and Bush administrations, concerns about tax cuts-fueled deficits were dismissed with promises of growth, and we’re hearing that same sort of rhetoric now…What’s different about the President’s plan that won’t lead to the same sort of ballooning of the deficit?” Spicer answered: “Number one, we outlined those principles yesterday. We’ve got a lot of work with Congress, and I think it’s moving in a very positive direction. There’s a lot of pay-fors, as they call them, in this proposal that will continue to be refined as we move forward in negotiating with Congress. So there’s a lot of things.” In other words, nothing. They’ve got nothing.

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ress Secretary Sean Spicer implied that 401(k)s would start to be taxed under Drumpf’s tax reform. “So the Secretary of the Treasury and Director Cohn yesterday both talked about the current plan right now both protects charitable giving and mortgage interest, and that’s it.”

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ater in the day, the White House clarified that 401k retirement savings plans would not be changed through Drumpf’s tax reform. 54% of the country will be happy to hear it. Guess they should have revealed with more than a one-pager with no specifics.

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rumpf hosted his first meeting with the 2017 Teachers of the Year and of course made the whole thing a weird spectacle as only Drumpf can. Typically the event consists of the National Teacher of the Year giving a speech, the president spending time talking with the teachers, family members of the winners meet the president, and a full ceremony in the East Room or Rose Garden.

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nstead, Drumpf hosted it in the Oval Office, inviting the teachers to stand around him while he sat in his chair while their family members were placed in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building and not provided with water or amenities. The teachers were led in the Happy Birthday song to Melania. Drumpf briefly introduced the National Teacher of the Year and gave her a trophy while still seated. He didn’t invite her to make any remarks. A parent of one of the teachers said in an email: “There was no planning, no care, no water in the hot rooms, and no respect for the families… One state coordinator who had been working on her job since 1999 said it was a disgrace and the most terrible thing she had witnessed.”

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epublican Senator Dean Heller introduced legislation that would severely gut the Endangered Species Act, just one week after the Science March. Instead of basing listing on the best known science, it would require Congressional approval for the listing of any species as threatened or endangered by the US Fish and Wildlife Service. Any listed species would automatically lose listing after five years no matter what the science said the condition of the species was in.

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epublicans in the House decided to stop the Drumpfcare 2.0 rush because they didn’t have anywhere near enough votes to get it done before Drumpf’s 100th day. House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy fibbed and stated, “We are not voting on healthcare tomorrow…We’re still educating members. We’ve been making great progress.” He also claimed that they had never intended on voting on it before the 100th day, which, of course, was the big push.

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April

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n a move of supreme irony, Republican Wisconsin lawmakers introduced a bill that would force University of Wisconsin to punish students – with suspension or expulsion - who used their free speech to protest or heckler speakers. The legislation is named The Campus Free Speech Act.

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he Environmental Protection Agency is getting a complete overhaul to reflect the anti-science, anti-climate change views of Drumpf and EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt. “As EPA renews its commitment to human health and clean air, land, and water, our website needs to reflect the views of the leadership of the agency,” it said in a statement. This just one week after the Science March and one day before the People’s Climate March.

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rumpf signed an Executive Order to direct the Department of the Interior to “reconsider” several safety regulations on offshore drilling that were implemented after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill – one of the worst environmental disasters in US history. It rolls back the Obama administration’s attempts to ban oil drilling off the southeastern Atlantic and Alaskan coasts. It narrows the boundaries of federally-protected marine sanctuaries to open them for commercial fishing and oil drilling.

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he Executive Order also aims to remove regulations on oil-rig safety. The Obama administration had placed safety regulations on pieces of equipment that had failed during the 2010 oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and were responsible for the deadly BP oil rig explosion. Secretary Zinke is totally on board, “There’s no set goal. But if there’s areas that are acceptable, that have resources, and local communities are for it and states are for it we could include it in the next five-year plan.”

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he Executive Order also directs Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross to conduct a review of all marine sanctuaries created in the past 10 years, possibly overturn them, and not to create any new sanctuaries. The most probable outcome would be an overturning of Obama’s creation of the largest marine sanctuary on the planet, done last year.

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n extended study of the Washington DC school voucher program, DC Opportunity Scholarship Program – a federally funded voucher program – found that students who attended a private school through the program did worse on standardized tests than their public school counterparts who did not use the vouchers. The only exceptions to the rule were students who attended poorly performing public schools – whose scores were equal those those who attended the program. So, school vouchers allow students to achieve the same level of expertise as poorly performing public schools. The report came as Drumpf and Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos press Congress to divert hundreds of millions of dollars into a voucher program.

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ath scores among those who used the vouchers were 7% lower than students who attended public schools. The one positive thing that students in the voucher program received was a safer school environment. Secretary DeVos called for the private schools to improve their performance. “These schools need to improve upon how they serve some of DC’s most vulnerable students.”

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rumpf announced that he was appointing an opponent of abortion, basic science, contraception, marriage equality, and any common sense to the Department of Health and Human Services. Charmaine Yoest, a woman who believes that abortions cause breast cancer and that scientists are “under the control of the abortion lobby” sounds like the best person to be part of the Department of Health and Human Services in the Drumpf administration…

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ongress approved a one-week spending measure to avoid a government shutdown right before Drumpf’s 100 day, proving they could be minimally useful and competent.

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rumpf proclaimed May 1 as “Loyalty Day” to “recognize and reaffirm our allegiance to the principles” that he believes that White House represents. “The United States stands as the world’s leader in upholding the ideals of freedom, equality, and justice. Together, and with these fundamental concepts enshrined in our Constitution, our Nation perseveres in the face of those who would seek to harm it,” the proclamation reads. What he failed to realize is that Loyalty Day has been a holiday since the Eisenhower administration.

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rumpf’s security decided that it was one rule for him and one rule for everyone else for his speech for the National Rifle Association. Guns aren’t threatening, unless they are by Drumpf apparently – they were banned from his speech.

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uring Drumpf’s speech at the National Rifle Association was pretty crazy, and he resurrected his Pocahontas comments in regard to Elizabeth Warren. He was congratulating himself and the members of the NRA for electing the only candidate who came to speak to them (himself) when he said, “I have a feeling that in the next election you’re going to be swamped with candidates. You’ll have plenty of those Democrats coming over and you’re going to say, ‘No sir, no thank you…no ma’am, perhaps ma’am – it may be Pocahontas, remember that.”

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rumpf also promised the National Rifle Association that he would “come through for you,” before bragging about his Electoral College win. His speech came after the NRA watched hours of videos attacking Obama, Democrats, Hillary Clinton, and anyone who has ever advocated gun control measures. “You have a true friend and champion in the White House,” he announced.

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rumpf threatened to terminate the US-Korea Free Trade Agreement (Korus) negotiated by George W. Bush because he believed it was created by Hillary Clinton. “It’s a horrible deal. It was a Hillary Clinton disaster, a deal that should’ve never been made.” He stated that if South Korea didn’t agree to a renegotiation, he would terminate it. South Korea’s Trade Ministry said that it had no plans to renegotiate and they were not notified of any official requests for negotiation.

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ecretary of State Rex Tillerson spoke to the United Nations Security Council. He stated that North Korea’s nuclear and missile programs needed immediate attention. “The more we bide our time, the sooner we will run out of it. All options for reacting to future provocations must remain on the table. He said that “failing to act now on the most pressing security issue in the world may bring catastrophic consequences.”

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n an interview with Fox News, Drumpf challenged the separation of powers. He dismissed the “archaic” rules of the House and Senate. “You can’t through a process like this. It’s not fair. It forces you to make bad decisions. I mean, you’re really forced into doing things that you would normally not do except for these archaic rules.” He continued about filibusters and obstruction and suggested that he wants more power and that he should change the rules. Makes one wonder what he would think if he didn’t have a majority in the House and Senate…

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April

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orth Korea launched a missile mere hours after Secretary of State Rex Tillerson led his ministerial meeting of the United Nations Security Council. But the test ended in failure. It flew for several minutes reaching 44 miles in altitude before failing.

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he changes to the Environmental Protection Agency website began, which involved removing climate data and science information from public view after being a staple of the site for two decades. Fact sheets about greenhouse gas emissions and how different demographic groups are affected by the emissions was also removed. A statement claimed, “We want to eliminate confusion by removing outdated language first and making room to discuss how we’re protecting the environment and human health by partnering with states and working within the law.” This on the same day as the People’s Climate March.

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undreds of thousands of people took to the streets around the nation for the People’s Climate March to protest Drumpf’s grotesque and unprecedented assault on environmental protections. One of the more popular chants included, “Resistance is here to stay, welcome to your 100th day.”

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rumpf celebrated his 100th day in office with a campaign rally speech in Pennsylvania filled with lies, babbling, and egomaniacal self-congratulations. He once again had to tell a porker about the attendance of his rally, claiming that he “broke the all-time record” for the arena, and that people were waiting outside to get in, despite all the photographic evidence showing that half of the seats were empty.

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e began is speech by slamming the media and congratulating himself for not attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. “A large group of Hollywood actors and Washington media are consoling each other in a hotel ballroom in our nation’s capital right now. And I could not possibly be more thrilled to be more than 100 miles away from the Washington swamp, spending my evening with all of you and with a much, much larger crowd and much better people.” There was no mention of how he was, just months ago, one of those shitty Hollywood types.

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e went into his standard “fake news” statements, slamming “the failing New York Times,” CNN, and MSNBC. “Their priorities are not my priorities, and your now priorities. If the media’s job is to be honest and tell the truth, the media deserves a very, very big fat failing grade.”

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e covered his Great Wall, congratulating himself for it and blaming Democrats. “If the Democrats knew what the hell they were doing, they would approve it. Obviously they don’t mind the illegals pouring in, the drugs pouring in. They don’t mind.”

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avid Gergen, a political analyst who advised Republican Presidents Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, and Ronald Reagan, as well as Democratic President Bill Clinton had this to say about Drumpf’s speech in Pennsylvania: “I think this is the most divisive speech I’ve ever heard from a sitting American president…He treated his other listeners – the rest of the people who have been disturbed about him or oppose him – he treated them basically as, ‘I don’t care, I don’t give a damn what you think because you’re, frankly, the enemy.’…I thought it was a deeply disturbing speech.”

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he event ended with the Rolling Stones’ song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

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amantha Bee held the Not The White House Correspondents’ Dinner to fund the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ) for a free press. In her monologue, she discussed the importance of free speech and a free press. “I know your job has never been harder. POTUS has convinced 88% of his fans that you are an enemy of the people. You basically get paid to stand in a cage while a geriatric orangutan and his pet mob scream at you. It’s like a reverse zoo. But you carry on. You dig up misdeeds and fraud by the powerful, you expose injustice against the weak, and you continue to fact check the president as if he might some day get embarrassed. So tonight is for you! Tonight the president screams at a pen that Katy Tur is not in. Cheers!” asan Minhaj performed at the White House Correspondence Association’s event, which Dumpf decided to give a pass. “We’re living in this strange time where trust is more important than truth. And supporters of President Trump trust him. And I know journalists, you guys are definitely trying to do good work. I just think that a lot of people don’t trust you right now. And can you blame them? I mean, unlike Anderson Cooper’s bone structure, you guys have been far from perfect.”

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e went on to explain how they all have to be more perfect. “Because you are how the president gets his news. Not from advisors, not from experts, not from intelligence agencies. You guys. So that’s why you gotta be on your A game. You gotta be twice as good. You can’t make any mistakes, because when one of you messes up, he blames your entire group. And now you know what it feels like to be a minority.”

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inhaj then discussed the importance of free speech, especially for minorities in this country. “Even the president is not beyond the reach of the first amendment. But the president didn’t show up! Because Donald Trump doesn’t care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that comes to his head refuses to acknowledge the amendment that allows him to do it…In four hours Donald Trump will be tweeting about how bad Nikki Minaj bombed at this dinner. And he’ll be doing it completely sober. And that’s his right. And I’m proud that all of us are here tonight to defend that right, even if the man in the White House never would.”

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appy 100th day! We all didn’t even die!

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Profile for Chris Talbot-Heindl

The Drumpfster Fire Chronicles Week 14  

A zine about the fourteenth week of Drumpfster Fire's reign.

The Drumpfster Fire Chronicles Week 14  

A zine about the fourteenth week of Drumpfster Fire's reign.

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