bitchin’ kitsch At the time of publication, we considered the piece on this page appropriate. At this time, we would consider it reliant on fatphobia. It has been removed for that reason.
Issue #1 July 2010
contents july 2010. Are we Full Yet? - Scott Cook
The Absense Of - Tanya Haller
Yes These People Are Stupid - David Scott
Blind Worshipper - Scott Cook
Glenn Beck is a Jackass - Chris Talbot 6
Scott Cook - 17
mcfishenburger - 8
Funeral - Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.
Rush Limbaugh is a Cocky Motha F*cka - Chris Talbot
Dystopian Mockery of a Democracy - 7 Chris Talbot Savior Ghost - Scott Cook
Untitled 1 - mcfishenburger
Untitled 2 - mcfishenburger
Outside of a Book - Laine Jewell
Untitled 3 - mcfishenburger
Mind Your Head - Wlkn Fire
Waking Death - Jan Haskell
Science is Baffled - Caroline Reynolds 10 Untitled - Call it Macaroni
Surrogate God - Scott Cook
Bush Jr. - Chris Talbot
Obama - Chris Talbot
The City on the Hill - Jan Haskell
By: Scott Cook Intaglio Print
Instability, Crisis and Mishap - Scott Cook
on the inside front cover:
Merely Reflections Of - Chris Talbot
Untitled - Katie Kloth
Whatever - Colin Bares
Dead and Bloated - Scott Cook
Hangman - Scott Cook
Caroline Reynolds - 10
Laine Jewell - 9
on the front cover: Are We Full Yet?
The Absense Of
By: Tanya Haller Sintra Cut
on the inside back cover: Hangman
By: Scott Cook Printmaking Collage
about b’k: bitchin’kitsch is a zine for artists, poets, prose writers, or anyone else who has something to say. it exists for the purpose of open creativity. if you have something you want to share, please email it to email@example.com.
have an upcoming show, exhibit, or event that you want to spread the word about? have a local, friendly business that you want to advertise? well, we need dough to keep this publication going. bitchin’kitsch is offering crazy low rates of $5 for a fourth-page ad, $10 for a half-page ad, and $20 for a full page ad. book yours today by emailing chris at firstname.lastname@example.org.
david scott. Yes, People Are This Stupid By: David Scott
I’m sure everyone heard about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and how the conglomerate giant BP is using every idea that a 4th grader comes up with. First it was trying to plug it up with shredded rubber from tires and golf balls… after that obvious failure they tried pouring cement and mud into the spewing geyser which of course was fucking retarded as it was pushed back out via pressure. Now their latest idea is to cut into one of the blown out pipes with a diamond edge saw and put a cap on it. Of course the saw got stuck in there and is now leaking some more oil which they will try to fix by using another saw to cut into it but the best part is this won’t even help but most likely worsen the conditions by about roughly 20%. The only way to stop the leak as they announced since the beginning is to make a relief well which will not be completed until early/mid August. What the fuck is wrong with these idiots? Now I’m no expert in drilling or anything like that but wouldn’t it help if you just took a large mass of a single object and cram in on top. Not like a dome or any such thing. The reason they’re trying these dumb fucking ideas is because they don’t want to scrap the platform. A simple solution is to just cover the hole completely with a large object but that would prevent them from continuing to drill. The relief well that they are working on is to let off pressure from the main well and allow them to go in and repair it so that they may continue using it. The ecological damage is at a minimum. Once it reaches the Loop Current that is when it will get real ugly. The only coral reef in the United States will be destroyed along with the oil being poured into the Gulf Stream sending it towards the northeastern coasts. Not to mention if we get a single hurricane before the relief well is completed in August, which is guaranteed, the oil that passes through the Loop Current will be pulled up and spread out through Florida’s marshlands along with all other coastal areas. We have yet to see the worst of the disasters. After the hurricane hits and the fires start to appear from the damages only to be enhanced by the oil that was pulled with the storm. I only hope that I’m wrong on this hypothesis, truly I do.
Scott Cook Blind Worshipper Printmaking Collage
chris talbot, wayne wayne wayne jr.
Chris Talbot Glenn Beck is a Jackass Giclee Print
Funeral By: Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.
feral white heart steers wayward against grain of cast iron orchid pores. exiled to ocean's plastic mouth and capacity for deep water digestion. pale, copper skinned, floating disruption along the shores of a tartaruga mãe column. nerve endings fail like clockwork to a dual purpose tar sand turbine blade. planktain tusks come along in single file like southern toil in twos. keeping blame fixed red with god unthreading storm clouds at their seam. what bones of the open water lack calibration for uncommon shell to breathe salt and lime again, syncopated with square mile plots of raptor wing calls for distinct extinction games. it's the heat from swollen magnesium bubbling in charted triangles across cold turquois fields, ancient funeral towers to climb. in twos, single file; coming up from the sea. 6
Chris Talbot Rush Limbaugh is a Cocky Motha F*cka Giclee Print
Dystopian Mockery of a Democracy A Story of the Beginning of the U.S.A. By: Chris Talbot
Once upon a time in a nation close to home, a people came to settle the land where another people already lived. They decimated the native peoples, and enslaved others to do their work. They called themselves “slaves”. But they were really white boy settlers who felt they were taxed too much. The white boy settlers gathered their silver spooned, most privileged men, who oversaw the writing of a document they called “The Declaration of Independence”. They formed an army of misfits, criminals, indentured servants, and slaves to fight their battles for them, and put a man named George Washington in charge.Throughout it all, General Washington maintained civilian rule of the army, despite that the white boy settlers preferred to supply Britain who could pay, rather than Washington’s misfit army with their fake tender; which meant that the army had neither food or clothing half the time. Against all odds, and mostly because the French wanted to say fuck you to the British, this misfit Continental Army succeeded. And so this nation of white boy settlers, declared themselves free, and named themselves Americans. bitchin’ kitsch
scott cook, mcfishenburger.
Scott Cook Savior Ghost Intaglio Collage
mcfishenburger Untitled 1 Photograph
mcfishenburger Untitled 2 Photograph
laine jewell, mcfishenburger, wlkn fire, jan haskell.
Laine Jewell Outside of a Book Graphite on Paper
wlkn fire Mind Your Head Ink on Paper
Waking Death By: Jan Haskell
The stars on the window glisten Sunlight twist and bends I too twist and bend as I work my way from bed A life of motioon, a life of sudden stops My mind always alert, always aware
mcfishenburger Untitled 3 Photograph
You, the hidden, walking in the shadows. I knoow you, I know shadows I turn to see with just a glimpse as you fall back. Wondering is this just a game you play or is it I. Is there comfort in this chase of hide and seek Never fear or fright.
caroline reynolds, call it macaroni.
Caroline Reynolds Science is Baffled Collage
Untitled By: Call it Macaroni
Being as we were the only real warring party in both Iraq and Afghanistan, if we had not gotten involved, the death toll would not be so high. Going after a small group of militants is one thing. Taking over entire nations by "shock and awe" in metropolis is another. I can sympathize with a nation of peoples living under a tyrannical government, however, if a peoples do not wish to revolt in revolution, who are we to go in and subjugate them under our rule? It is a tired and insulting argument that we are heroes of democracy and that is our mission. Because it is a lie. We have partnered with tyranny as often as not. And while we are doing the supposed noble work of supposedly spreading freedom around the globe, huge chunks of our constitution were stripped away from us in the darkness of nights. In the name of safety, they said,and then started adding the word freedom to the beginning of every noun,as if freedom were an adjective. It is like me going to the beach and hitting people and making them wear shoes, and then taking your shoes and telling you, you can walk out of here with shoes on. I think I'll call them Freedom Shoes. 10
scott cook, chris talbot.
Scott Cook Surrogate God Intaglio Collage
Chris Talbot Bush Jr. Giclee print
Chris Talbot Obama Giclee print bitchin’ kitsch
jan haskell. The City on the Hill By: Jan Haskell
Many of us might wonder if the great republic has ended. We listen to the daily rhetoric of fear, and the constant bashing of both political parties by the political parties. Is it so hard to wonder what was the “City on the Hill”. Over the last three decades, many a great orator has clung and cling to the that utopia. But what is it, what are we to believe any more? Has the United States joined those republics of old, Rome and Athens, where power was not derived from the will of the consent, but rather the ability to control the mob. As we are now once again in an election cycle and on the celebration of our country’s independence, maybe it is time to revisit John Winthrop‘s “The City on the Hill”. John Winthrop coined the imagery of “The Shining City on the Hill”, 1628, not to be that of political or economic, nor was it about being a Super Power of weapons and might. On the contrary, for him it was one of theology and ideology. The city on the hill was the final spiritual evolutionary step for man. As he saw it,when man was kicked out of paradise, man was returned to a natural state of an animal. Therefore, the spiritual evolution of man was to evolve to a state of grace from that of an animal. The city would be one in which the community recognized through grace that they were sown together like a body. That if one part of the body suffers the whole body suffers, and when one part celebrates the whole celebrates. A community in which the individual would see each person as an extension of themselves, from ones family, to the community, and to the state. That the will of the individual was not of personal want, but rather that personal success was a gift that was to be shared with the community. Individualism and individual want was to be seen as our animal nature, something that was to be purged. That is to say, that when one excepted the covenant of grace through their personal relationship with God, their spirit would evolve from that of an animal to being a reflection of God’s love. This imagery is seen again on the road of America’s independence from the King and England. It was not, as most believe, about taxes. It was rooted in the belief that all things were gifts from the creator. That kings and princes of religion derived their power, not from divine right, but by the consent of the people. That government was a contract of the people for the people. With the main purpose of the government to secure that all are equal, and the individual intern through grace would be in constant participation to guarantee that the government never usurped its power to bring its people to a covenant of works. In the debate for independence, John Hancock held the deciding vote on whether the vote for independence would be one of majority, or that of unanimous. For him, the flag of America would not be that of Kane, that of brother against brother. Again, Thomas Jefferson, states these same ideas in the Declaration of Independence. That our rights are gifts of our creator, that these include life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And that it is by our consent we willing give power to the state. However, when the state oversteps its authority, the people have the right to change the government, “We hold these truths to be self-evident” So what has happened to America, “The City on the Hill”? We have de-evolved back to a covenant of works were the power is held by a few for the many, with the belief that if we serve well we will have salvation. We have not done away with the kings of old or the princes of religion. On the contrary, we have elevated them to where they feel they are untouchable. They divide us, pitting nonexistent groups, conservative vs. liberal, democrat vs. republican, R.N.C vs. D.N.C, as a means to keep us in line. Our choices are vote yes or vote yes. Our consent has been silently taken, and when there is a perceived victory, we dance in the streets, as the Hebrews danced around the idol of Egypt. The truth is if we are to have a real voice in our consent, we must see each election as a referendum. That an election is not just a yes or yes vote. True consent would be to see our vote as a vote on the system. If we really wish to change the way Washington works, get rid of the corruption, the behind the door backslapping, then we need to vote no or no confidence. Only by taking back our consent with a no vote can we start to see the “City on the Hill” as more than a talking point. Let us stop voting for the lesser of two evils. Let’s stop the non voting. Let us kick these kings and princes out. Let us vote no. 12
scott cook, chris talbot.
Scott Cook Instability, Crisis and Mishap Intaglio Collage
Merely Reflections Of By: Chris Talbot
beautiful/intoxicating/spiritual in non-religious sense i think tom robbins had not seen a quaker wedding when he accused religion of war/violence paperbag puppets; a walk in the mistydrizzlerain excited exclamations what are you looking for? n. asked; t’s answer: my childhood j. gave me a much needed perspective enema; anecdotal and announced our joint privilege m. seemed chipper on the phone, and didn’t seem to notice my vocal strain; this made me feel empty my dreams took on a lucidity and ; and i felt heartbeat/clenchedthroat happy summer pointlessness has taken on new dimensions 14
katie kloth, colin bares. Untitled By: Katie Kloth
Jimi's on the wall, and christ is in my bag so many distractions plague my undone mind~ The cantaloupe before waits to rot, to be cut, to be consumed, by my jagged good-for-nothing mandible... A glass jar with the secret to my ambition sits in front of me~~ do i drink, or do i stare? I'm tempted 2 ponder all day, until the guilt of society once again comes knocking on my door and tries to wear my shoes to work... I'm trying to wear my SOUL to workeluding the dehydration, examination, excitation of the hyper-stimulated stratosphere marketing to my every weakness Bleak, is not my initial rxn, but I feel the subtraction in my outward emotion, w/ complete disregard to the justice instilled from my rising sign... Try, try, and try to fail, and people just dig the economic upturn, feeding the beast that perpetuates the unhappiness- the unsettling, the disgusting systematic condition of social struggle-A pretentious Re-marxist state of affairs at hand On your dinner table- you are able to un-succumb to the fears of queer disillusionment~ ebonically driven to ride the pride of ego in stride, my gait never lengthens the hopeThe hope to die, the hope to stop, the hope to stop dropping rhymes about a hierarchy that chimes tyrannical freedom Eat my anarchy and I'll try your PIECE of mind pie that sweetens the blow with every exhale of the toxins that govern my every-day life. Rebuttal. Dispute. Connect. Act. Believe. Deconstruct. Simplify and REDUCE your minds' eye, to a bowl of soil, for that is where the new age of enlightenment can be birthed. WAGE. I am used up. The rain in my brain has been reclaimed by the clouds, and my voice is hoarse from shouting... shouting for years, for a decade; I soldier on, and so will you, and the earth will without us too PEACE You have shriveled me so, a raisin in the sun, a rocky structure eroding over time~ the positive energy that has been spent through enthusiasm has now been reduced to a rhyme, and that is all I have left, and all that I have left, is all for you.
Whatever By: Colin Bares
There is no better path than the one you are on. You cannot help but make the best decisions for yourself at any given point in time. So stop worrying and start giving a shit. Whatever you are compelled to do is what you should do. Dissatisfaction of every manner comes from recognizing the dissonance created by an incoongruity between reality and your personal ideal. But fuck that. bitchin’ kitsch
scott cook, index. advertisers Renewsical Bitchin’Kitsch
13 4, 18
At the time of publication, we considered the piece on this page appropriate. At this time, we would consider it reliant on fatphobia. It has been removed for that reason.
Scott Cook Dead and Bloated Intaglio Print 16
Bares, Colin Call it Macaroni Cook, Scott Haller, Tanya Haskell, Jan Jewell, Laine Kloth, Katie mcfishenburger Reynolds, Caroline Scott, David Talbot, Chris Wayne Jr., Wayne Wayne
15 10 5, 8, 11, 14, 17 2 9, 12 9 15 8, 9 10 4 6, 7, 11, 14 6
the bitchin’ kitsch, a talbot-heindl project 1735 division st, stevens point, wi 54481 www.talbot-heindl.com