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THE BEREAVEMENT

Companion BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT & GUIDANCE

1

A N N UA L M AG A Z I N E 2 0 1 9 / 2 0


Harwood Park

The perfect setting to commemorate the life of your loved one

Crematorium and memorial gardens created and managed by the Austin family in the beautiful Hertfordshire countryside

01438 815555

www.crematorium.co.uk Keeping memories alive 2


Welcome It gives us great pleasure to introduce our 2019-2020 Annual Bereavement Companion. Our magazine is an allencompassing, bespoke and step by step guide filled with helpful information on what to do when bereavement occurs. Our guide aims to hold your hand, containing articles covering the process of registering a death, planning a ceremony, floral tributes, order of service, funeral receptions, grief support, financial advice and memorial keepsakes. For this edition, we have included a pet bereavement section. Having lost treasured pets ourselves, we felt it was important to remember the many different businesses who provide support to bereaved pet owners. Since animals are also our very best friends and in ours and perhaps in your case, a huge part of the family! We also hope you find comfort in our pet bereavement editorial, pieced together by our lovely writer, Catherine Rose. We know the loss of a loved one is very difficult, whether it’s sudden or expected, we can never fully prepare for our feelings of grief, or do not always know how to come to terms with loss. We understand the importance of getting support

for mental well-being, which is why we have included various charities, life coaches and counselling services to help with the grief process. We are keen to partner with many more charities to create awareness of their invaluable support. We are so pleased, due to popularity, our latest guide is a bumper edition of 56 pages. Also, our distribution locations continue to increase, creating more awareness of the allimportant bereavement support organisations listed. If you are an organisation that would benefit from advertising or distributing our magazine, please do not hesitate to contact us, we would love to help you. We hope our guide will make the process of dealing with bereavement that little bit easier. Our warmest wishes,

Emma & Gabriella,

Meadowview Media Limited

Contents: Registering a Death..................................................................................................................................................................4 Serving the Local Community for 10 Generations -Austin's Funeral Services...............................................................6 Considerations To Make When Choosing A Headstone - Offley Memorials..................................................................9 Loss of a Partner......................................................................................................................................................................10 Planning A Funeral Ceremony ......................................................................................................................................... 16/17 Investment Advice - Raymond James............................................................................................................................ 20/21 Macmillan................................................................................................................................................................................ 22 Layout of Order of Service....................................................................................................................................................24 Harwood Park.........................................................................................................................................................................26 Urns UK.............................................................................................................................................................................28/29 Floral Tributes.........................................................................................................................................................................32 East & North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity.................................................................................................................34/35 Making A Will.........................................................................................................................................................................36 Power Of Attorney..................................................................................................................................................................38 Coronor....................................................................................................................................................................................40 Signs of Comfort.....................................................................................................................................................................42 Organ Donation......................................................................................................................................................................44 Losing a Beloved Pet.........................................................................................................................................................46/48 Cradle National Charitable Organisation............................................................................................................................51 Useful Numbers......................................................................................................................................................................54

THE BEREAVEMENT

Companion BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT & GUIDANCE

1

A N N UA L M AG A Z I N E 2 0 1 9 / 2 0

Publishers: Meadowview Media Ltd , 24a Market Square, Potton, Bedfordshire SG19 2NP m: 07931 512 253 t: 01767 691 772 emma@meadowviewmedia.com www.meadowviewmedia.com

Design: Meadowview Media Ltd

Disclaimer: All adverts and editorial are printed in good faith, however, Meadowview Media Ltd can not take any responsibility for the content of the adverts, the service provided by the advertisers or any statements given in the editorial. No part of this publication may be reproduced or stored without Editorial: Catherine Rose, Austin’s Funeral Services, the express permission of the publisher. Macmillan Cancer Care, Hertfordshire’s Coroner’s Service, East & North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity, Lister Organ Donation Committee We would like to thank all the advertisers for 3 and Cradle National Charitable Organisation. supporting this publication.


Registering a Death... All deaths need to be registered with the registrar

Forms you will get from the registrar:

of births, deaths and marriages. This must be done

A certificate for burial and cremation. This is known

within five days in England, Wales and Northern

as the green certificate. This gives permission for the

Ireland and eight days in Scotland. These time-

body to be buried or for an application for

frames may differ if the registrar agrees to extend

cremation to be made and you should give this to

the period, or if the death has been referred to the

the funeral director.

coroner. A certificate for registration of death. You’ll need Where to register the Death:

this to deal with the person’s affairs if they were

The registrar’s office closest to where the person died.

getting a pension or benefits.

What you will need:

If the burial needs to happen quickly:

Birth certificate

Some burials need to happen within 24 hours of

NHS medical card

death, for example for religious or cultural reasons.

Proof of their address- example a utility bill

You can get advice from your local registrar or the

Driving licence

funeral directors about this.

Passport Getting copies of the death certificate:

Marriage or civil partnership certificate

After the death has been registered you can get a Don’t worry if you can’t find all these documents;

death certificate, which is a copy of the entry made

you will still be able to register the death without

in the death register. You will probably need a

them. The registrar will also want to know:

number of copies of the death certificate, for

The person’s full name (at the time of death)

example to give to any insurance, bank or pension

Any other names that the person used (e.g a maiden

company.

name). Any previous names they may have used like their maiden name.

You may also need to give copies to the executor or

Their date and place of birth including the town

administrator who is dealing with the property of

and country if they were born in the UK or just the

the person who has died. The registrar will work out

country if they were born abroad.

how many copies you will need.

Their last address, their occupation or their last occupation if retired.

If a death has been referred to the coroner you will

The full name of their husband, wife or civil partner,

need to wait for them to give permission before you

if they’ve died.

can register the death.

Details of any state pension or other state benefit they were receiving.

There is no cost for registering a death.

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Established in 1760 in Hitchin, Gatwards the jewellers is now the oldest family jewellers in the UK having passed through 7 generations of the Gatward family. 258 years since opening, the 8th generation – Charlotte Gatward is now in the business as her mother Lisa Gatward & aunt, Anna Gatward take a back seat. Over its long history, Gatwards has seen many changes. Originally watch & clock makers, Bradly Gatward, Charlotte’s great grandfather, was the last member of the family to make clocks. When his son, Willson, died at only 59, the business was carried on by his widow Sylvia until his daughters Anna & Lisa took over the reins. With ladies at the helm, the emphasis moved towards jewellery & today, Gatwards is recognised for fine diamonds & beautiful gemstone jewellery. Gatwards source jewellery from all over the world as well as here in the UK, providing the widest ranges to suit all tastes and budgets. Integrity and quality are core values of the business and all Gatwards gem set jewellery is hand selected by our experienced buying team from conflict free and award-winning suppliers. Gatwards also offer a range of jewellery services including valuations for insurance and probate,

repairs, re-modelling and re-mounting as well as buying and selling second hand jewellery. The award-winning team at Gatwards work hard to give all customers a memorable experience when they step into our medieval showroom. Having guided and advised our customers through 8 generations of the same family, maybe your grandparents or even great grandparents shopped at Gatwards?

20 MARKET PLACE, HITCHIN, HERTFORDSHIRE, SG5 1DU TEL: 01462 434273 5

WWW.GATWARDSOFHITCHIN.CO.UK


Serving the Local Community for Ten Generations Austin’s Funeral Service, established in 1700 in Stevenage, is still owned and operated by the Austin Family. We are proud to have served the community for ten generations. Over recent years the company has extended its services to include branches in Buntingford, Hitchin, Knebworth, Welwyn, Welwyn Garden City, Ware and Hertford.

Memorial Gardens, which include a beautiful lake and waterfall feature. Those wishing to lay their loved one to rest in a local churchyard or cemetery may like to consider the extensive range of traditional memorials available from AUSTIN’S own stonemasons, whose offices are located in Church Street, Welwyn.

Geo. W. Blow of Welwyn and Alfred Scales of Hertford were acquired by the company and until quite recently continued to trade under their original names. The family then decided that, to reflect their ownership, all funeral offices should trade as AUSTIN’S.

AUSTIN’S also provides a tailor made prepayment funeral plan designed to give peace of mind to families and individuals by relieving them of the worry of funeral expenses and arrangements. The Hertfordshire Funeral Plan, operated by an independent trust, is exclusive to AUSTIN’S and gives the opportunity of selecting and securing all aspects of the funeral service in advance.

The staff at AUSTIN’S ensures that families receive a superior quality of service, providing sympathetic and personal attention at these most delicate of times.

Our commitment to bereaved families has established AUSTIN’S as Hertfordshire’s leading, family owned and operated funeral director. Those working within our family business are proud to provide a standard of professionalism, dedication and depth of knowledge, recognized by members of the public, professionals and other funeral directors.

In 1997 the Austin family designed and built Harwood Park Crematorium and Memorial Gardens. Set in the beautiful countryside of Hertfordshire on the outskirts of Stevenage, Harwood Park is one of the few privately owned crematoria in the country. Funeral services are provided seven days a week in peaceful and tranquil surroundings. A wide selection of memorials is available for dedication in the twenty-five acres of

Further information may be obtained from any AUSTIN’S office or Harwood Park Crematorium. Telephone: 01438 815 555

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Offley O

Memorials

“A Family Business with Family Values”

- Nicholas Prutton

We work in partnership with our clients to ensure that whatever the budget, we can create the finest, most fitting lasting natural stone tributes

PLEASE CONTACT US FOR A FREE BROCHURE, FURTHER ASSISTANCE OR ADVICE.

Luton White Hill, Offley, Hitchin, Herts, SG5 3DL People’s memorial mason of choice throughout Herts, Beds & Bucks.

01462 8372 371

www.offleymemorials.co.uk • info@offleymemorials.co.uk


Considerations To Make When Purchasing A Headstone A memorial can provide a focal point of affection and remembrance. It can be a celebration of a life and often headstones are as unique as the person’s life they are commemorating. It can also mark the sense of loss, love and respect felt for a family member or friend.

Who can supply a memorial?

Most choose to contact a memorial mason local to where their loved one is buried or interred. They will be able to offer guidance on the various stone alternatives, their suitability to your needs as well as advising you of the materials, finishes and sizes permitted by the local Burial Authority. Offley Memorials Ltd have over 40 years experience in providing lasting natural stone tributes so have a wealth of knowledge that they are happy to share. With samples in the office as well as brochures and a vast gallery of completed works, you won’t have far to look for inspiration! Going direct to a stonemason is often the most cost effective way of purchasing a memorial although you may also wish to contact the funeral director who arranged your loved ones’ service as some offer in-house memorials although most outsource to local masons. Privately owned cemeteries tend to supply their own limited range of memorials offered as part of a burial or cremation package. It is highly recommended that you check with your preferred supplier that they hold a license for the Register of Qualified Memorial Fixers (RQMF). This is a widely recognised accreditation across the country and all memorials must now be fixed in line with the NAMM code of safe working practice.

What type of memorial is suitable for my requirements?

There are guidelines to follow in cemeteries and particularly in churchyards which will govern the type, size, material and design of your natural stone tribute depending on whether it is to mark a burial or cremation plot. It is important to be aware of the individual characteristics of each stone and their suitability to meet your needs. Whether you are looking for a new memorial or replacement, or to add an additional inscription, a fee will be charged either by the council or your local parish. Offley Memorials have an up-to-date list and will be able to advise you accordingly. They will also be well placed to guide you on any maintenance requirements which will help you to make the right choice at the beginning of the process, as well as ensuring that your memorial stays in the best possible condition over the coming years.

How long do I have to wait before placing a memorial on the grave?

New burial graves can take a while to settle, especially if there are extremes in the weather i.e. heavy rain, snow or a long dry summer. In chalky and clay areas, this settlement can take even longer so it is recommended that you wait a minimum of 12 months before placing a memorial on your loved ones grave. Some cemeteries have a different foundation system meaning that you can place a headstone straight away. Offley Memorials will be able to advise you on the scheme in place at your chosen cemetery. It is worth being aware that to place a headstone too soon would put it at greater risk of subsidence which in turn could cause great distress and additional costs to

correct and should therefore be avoided. Stone tributes to mark a cremation plot however can be sited as soon after the interment as you feel ready, due to there being less ground disturbance.

How long does a memorial take to order?

Offley Memorials hold stock of the most popular designs and colours which means they can process these often within around 6-8 weeks, whilst more unusual headstones will be made to order. It is worth bearing in mind these can sometimes take approximately 12-16 weeks so it is recommended that you start thinking about new memorials around 6 months after burial. Cremation stones can be planned and ordered soon after interment.

How do I clean a discoloured memorial and refresh the inscription?

If you already have a natural stone tribute, Offley Memorials appreciate that these can deteriorate over time and suffer from general wear and tear from both the elements and wildlife. If you live too far away or find it difficult physically to manage the work required, they offer a comprehensive range of maintenance services to help restore your memorial to its original beauty. Services include: • re-levelling • cleaning

• repairing

• repainting inscriptions • refreshing designs

• adding additional inscriptions After an initial inspection, they will provide you with a report containing a photograph of the memorial in its current condition along with advice on any remedial work. On completion, images are provided of before and after the restoration project so that you can see the transformation. A client recently said "The before and after pictures are nothing short of miraculous!"

What happens to an existing headstone to allow for an additional burial/interment in the same grave/plot?

This is worth checking with your funeral director as everyone works differently. Most funeral homes will automatically contact their own stone mason unless you specify otherwise. Be aware that at this point it is often assumed their mason will carry out the additional inscription work as well as the removal and storage of your memorial. However if you have a preferred memorial mason whom you would like to undertake the work on your behalf, perhaps for example the firm that supplied you with the stone initially or one that has been recommended to you, it is imperative that you contact them directly within a few days of death and notify the funeral director of your intention. Advise the mason of the funeral date once you have one and they will arrange removal of the memorial in good time. Offley Memorials regularly facilitate removals and subsequent additional inscription work and are able to work on these at 9short notice and at very competitive prices.


Loss of a Partner... Family Life Following the Loss of a Partner Adjusting to living as a family without your partner can seem overwhelming and you should not feel ashamed to seek out support. At a time when you may still be in shock, there may be children that need support and numerous practical issues to deal with. If there are children involved, much of your energy will be focused on them. However, it is important that you have support too. Many people benefit greatly from bereavement counselling. Even if you have never needed counselling before, it can be very helpful at this time and is certainly not a sign of weakness. Taking time out for yourself is vital. After all, you cannot be strong enough to care for others if you don’t care for yourself first. Talking and remembering is important. Telling your children about your feelings and encouraging them to express theirs won’t hurt them and is, in fact, a helpful part of the grieving process as you adapt to a new routine in your daily lives. Sharing the positive memories you have of your partner can also be healing. Cruse Bereavement Care (www.cruse.org.uk) is the UK’s leading national bereavement charity with a local network that can give you coping strategies, while their website www. hopeagain.org.uk is specifically targeted towards children and young adults. The charity Gingerbread (www.gingerbread.org.uk) also provides an established support and advice network for single parents. You will want to spend as much time as possible with your children. If you are working, talk to your employer to see if they will offer extra time off as part of your contract. Many employers will give you paid compassionate leave (although unfortunately there is no legal right to do so). If they don’t and you can’t afford to take unpaid leave, ask about taking paid annual leave or if you are struggling and cannot yet face returning to work, you could be eligible for sick leave. Speak to your GP.

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When it comes to organising short term childcare or help with household tasks like shopping, don’t be afraid to ask friends and relatives for help. Although people often find it difficult to talk about bereavement, most will be happy to give you practical support at this time. Coping financially can be a tremendous worry after the loss of a partner. There will inevitably be financial arrangements to be made, particularly if your partner was the main breadwinner. Financial support is available, so make sure you get the help you deserve for you and your family. If you were married or in a civil partnership you could be entitled to specific bereavement benefits. Turn2us is a national charity that offers help with financial support during a crisis at www.turn2us.org.uk. The website has useful information about bereavement allowance, bereavement payment, widowed parent’s allowance and the funeral payment fund. If you work, investigate your employment rights, any benefits and tax credit entitlement (your local Job Centre can help you with this). Don’t forget that after registering a death, you will need to inform several government departments about your bereavement. Fortunately, the government has made this simpler with their Tell Us Once service which will notify Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs (HMRC), the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP), the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA), the Passport Office and your local council for you. When you register the death, the registrar will be able to tell you if the service is available in your area and give you a unique reference number. You can then either phone (the registrar can supply you with the telephone number) or simply log on to www.gov.uk/ after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-andtell-us-once/ and follow the instructions.


A Truly Heartwarming Book... While the main purpose of this annual is to deliver practical advice, we are also happy to introduce an inspiring new book by Julie New: The Grief Garden Path. Julie New is a highly experienced personal recovery coach, who helps people to find new ways forward from emotionally devastating experiences. Julie’s own experiences of loss have prompted her to write a book that will deliver feelings of hope to anyone who is experiencing the pain of grief.

“Julie has written this insightful and heartfelt book from a powerful place … We often lose sight of ourselves when we are grieving, so it is vital we find a way to nurture our souls.” How many roles will you play today? Linda Magistris, The Good Grief Trust Parent,CEO/Founder, boss, taxi, shoulder-to-cry-on, cook and bottle washer? When did you Losing someone lovetime is without doubt one of the hardest lastwe take to nurture yourself? challenges we ever experience. It can feel impossible ever to feel true happiness again, or to know help anyone else Imagine yourself in how a beautiful garden; who is experiencing thethe paralysing of grief. you are centralpain tree spreading your

theyears sunshine, appreciating the Julie New hasbranches worked forin many as a personal recovery coach, lovely flowers growing around you. Using helping people to overcome particularly difficult times. Thanks in part to her own experiences of grief, she has found positive ways tothis help the powerful metaphor of the garden, herself and solittle manybook otherswill to move of with helpforward you tofrom getthe inpain touch loss, to rediscover happiness they deserve. thosethefeelings. In her previous book, Who Are the Flowers in Your Garden?, Julie New, Relationship and lifestyle coach Julie gave her analogy of life being like a garden. It is vital it is and inspiration behind Forever, to nurture everything in your garden – yourChanges life – in order to allow you come into the garden, to all the plantsinvites to flourish andto thrive.

The Grief Garden Path is easy to read, with plenty of practical advice, which you can dip into whenever you have time. The foreword is by Linda Magistris, founder of the Good Grief Trust (www.thegoodgrieftrust.org).

At a time when you might not feel able to join a group in order to share your own feelings, we are sure that you will find it inspirational to hear about how others have coped with the pain of losing a loved one.

WHEN A SPECIAL FLOWER IN YOUR GARDEN DIES THE GRIEF GARDEN PATH

Julie says, “It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey of grief is personal and individual. However, there are similarities for everyone in the process of grief. My aim is to help everyone to understand that there really is some light at the end of the tunnel, and to help them on their journey towards it.”

Chapters include information about the ‘grief path’, outlining the types of grief you will experience. You’ll find simple exercises you can follow to help you going forward, with tips to help you feel better, even on your worst days. And you’ll be able to share personal stories from people who have experienced the loss of people very close to them, including their own tips on how to cope with grief.

listen to the inspirational stories she has to

This book uncovers theto good griefflourishing garden path.personally With clear and tell and start explanations about the grieving process, touching real-life stories, and practical advice on the importance of self-care, this book provides real hope to anyone who has lost someone they love.

Special flower with bleed new title 2.indd 1

£12.99

JULIE NEW JULIE NEW

£12.99 ISBN

www.julienew.co.uk www.julienew.co.uk

The Grief Garden Path A beautifully illustrated hardback gift book, will be published during Grief Awareness week, 2–9 December 2019. It is available to pre-order by emailing: julie@julienew. co.uk

24/10/2019 14:58

Julie is always happy to hear from anyone who is struggling to overcome personal setbacks. You’ll find her contact details on her 11 website: www.julienew.co.uk


Bringing memories to life in film.

Movie Memoirs Ltd • Leave something unique for loved ones to remember you by. • Share interesting & exciting tales of your family history or a loved one you recently lost. • Professional & friendly service providing you with the opportunity to preserve your memories in the form of a documentary.

01767 261 413/07835 506 204 www.movie-memoirs.co.uk director@movie-memoirs.co.uk

With over 10 years as busy funeral florists we know how to get the best from our flowers. You can choose one of our own designs in our online collection or you may prefer to discuss a more personal design with us. Either way we are happy to help. Free local delivery t: e:

Coming to terms with loss through compassionate touch

Shiatsu Massage • restores balance between mind & body • is deeply relaxing • relieves stress & anxiety • helps you to move through grief Hitchin, Hertfordshire

01438 871 871

DoeWarnes

enquiries@daizy.co.uk

FwSS, RSME/T, ITEC

07981 115418 doe@doewarnes.co.uk www.doewarnes.co.uk www.haelantherapy.co.uk

www.daizy.co.uk

FUNERAL RECEPTION Chesfield Downs is set in 162 acres of stunning countryside. Set apart from the busy, fast paced local town, Chesfield Downs is surrounded by rolling fields and magnificent views. The Conservatory has its own private bar and patio area with breathtaking views across the course, creating a comfortable and peaceful environment for your friends and family to gather.

Contact:

Our Events Manager Chesfield Downs Golf Club, Jacks Hill, Graveley, Hertfordshire, SG4 7EQ

We are the perfect venue for all sizes of funeral reception, from smaller intimate gatherings to larger groups.

T: 01462 482 929 E: chesfielddowns.eventsmanager@theclubcompany.com

At this difficult time, let our experienced and attentive team take care of your catering requirements.

www.chesfielddownsgolf.co.uk

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Superior Memorial Keepsakes

Footprints and Whispers is a family business run in partnership with its sister company Love2Donate: In Memory. The aim of both companies is to ensure bereaved families receive a safe and reliable service, with sympathy and compassion being at its forefront. It is also their stated intent to raise as much money for charity as possible. With regards to Love2Donate: In Memory, families have raised over £5 million in memory of loved ones through individual Tribute and Donation pages, and Footprints and Whispers make a contribution from every sale to Birmingham Children’s Hospital Charity in favour of the Eye Department.

If you would like further information about Footprints and Whispers or would like to view our range of memorial jewellery, please visit our website: www.footprintsandwhispers.co.uk

When a loved one is no longer with us, many people want keepsakes to remember them by. Physical objects help us feel a deeper connection, even when our loved ones are gone. This sort of sentimentality has been shared in every culture throughout history, and jewellery is one of the most popular ways to keep those we’ve lost close to our hearts. Today, memorial keepsakes come in many forms, and can mean different things for everyone. Some ideas include engraved pendants, lockets for storing ashes or photos, gemstones made from ashes, jewellery made with a lock of hair, bracelets with charms, or memorial cufflinks.

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Planning a Funeral Ceremony... Many people are unprepared when it comes to a death. It is not something we like to even think about, let alone make plans for, but putting arrangements in place now can make everything run more smoothly when the time comes resulting in less stress for everyone at what is already a difficult time. With a move away from traditional funerals and new options increasingly available, more people than ever are arranging unconventional and very personalised services to honour and remember their loved one.

Final Wishes Find time to talk to family or close friends about your wishes and the type of service you would like. For example, do you want a memorial service or a celebration of your life? Do you want to be buried, cremated or something more unconventional? Are there any special pieces of music, songs, poems or readings you want included? It is possible to leave a side letter with your will (a copy can also be given to your solicitor if you have one) where you can give details of any arrangements you would like made, for instance, you may prefer burial to a cremation or you might want a special type of coffin - wicker, for example or a tailor-made casket. Traditionally, most people will opt for either a cremation, or burial in a churchyard/multi-denominational cemetery. However, it may be that you don’t like the idea of a traditional funeral or even having a service at all. It is now possible to break with tradition completely and make some unusual requests. You can ask for some of your ashes to be put into a firework for a big send off ! Or you can have your ashes made into ‘diamonds’ and set into memorial jewellery for loved ones. Eco friendly funerals are growing in popularity. Perhaps you are attracted to a simple green or woodland burial.

One company in the US will compress remains into a ‘reef ball’ which is then placed into the ocean to provide habitat for marine life. If there is a place that is particularly special to you, you could ask for a destination funeral where family and friends travel to your favourite location to scatter your ashes. You can also request that attendees wear certain colours or attire rather than the traditional dark ones. Some people even have themed parties with attendees dressing up in honour of the deceased’s favourite characters. This can do a lot to help diffuse the grief that loved ones will be feeling at the time. In the same way, when it comes to transport, you don’t have to opt for the traditional black hearse. You can have a horse drawn carriage, a motorcycle with a specially adapted sidecar or even a double decker bus! Visit https:// www.funeralcare.co.uk/arranging-a-funeral/personalisingthe-funeral/transport-for-the-funeral-service/ for details. If you don’t have a close relative or you have concerns about discussing what can be a distressing topic with your family, you could instead discuss your wishes with a funeral director in advance. You can then keep the name of your chosen funeral director and your agreed plans in a safe place with your will and any other important documents. Some funeral directors accept payment in advance which can remove financial worries for your family when you die. Speak to several. As with weddings, there are now companies that offer photography or videographers who can capture the ceremony. This can be useful if there are family members or friends who are unable to be there, and tributes to the deceased can be forever recorded in honour of their memory. If someone in your family dies without leaving

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instructions, before making any plans it is important to check whether they have:

and where you have a wake or reception, is entirely at your disposal.

1) A pre-paid funeral plan or arrangements with a local funeral director. 2) Left instructions for their funeral with their will. 3) Arranged for their body to be given to medical education or research. 4) Agreed to donate their organs.

A funeral service held in a religious establishment or crematorium chapel is not a legal requirement although completing the necessary paperwork and the appropriate disposal of human remains are (for example, you are not allowed to have a burial in your garden).

One and two are particularly important when there is not enough money in the deceased’s estate (money, property and possessions) to cover funeral costs as it will fall to the family members to do so. There is no doubt that funerals are costly so you may want to think about setting some money aside now to cover at least part of the expense. Alternatively, you could consider taking out a funeral plan.

Different Types of Funeral Other cultures deal with death very differently to us. For example, in southern Indonesia, funerals involve the whole village in rituals which can last for days. The deceased is kept at their home and the body cared for until it is time for a sacrificial bull to take it into the afterlife. In New Orleans, it is traditional to have a jazz funeral with a procession dominated by music and dancing. And in South Korea where space is dwindling for burials, ashes are made into ‘death beads’ which are then displayed in the home. While in Ghana, some coffins have become popular to resemble cars or animals. In Tibet and Mongolia many people still choose the tradition of having their bodies dismembered and left on a mountain top which they believe helps the spirit enter the air – a process known as sky burial. In certain Indian cultures, there is a strict ritual of mourning which can go on for many weeks. Family will initially gather at the deceased’s home. A shrine will be erected with a photograph and flowers, and home-cooked food shared.

If you would like a church service, you will need to speak to the Church Vicar, Priest or Rector of the Parish. Many churchyards do not have room for new burials, but it is possible to have your service in the church of your choice with a burial or cremation elsewhere. The Vicar or Rector can also oversee the burial or cremation service, working alongside the funeral director. Local authorities run most crematoriums, and these have congregational buildings or chapels where you can hold a service with music and readings. Brochures explaining the rules and charges will be available at the crematorium of your choice. If you opt for burial, you or your family will need to purchase a plot. This can also be done in advance and there may be double plots available should you wish to be buried in the same plot as your spouse when the time comes. If you or your family would like a headstone, look at the church or cemetery regulations regarding their policy on memorials. Some cemeteries have quite strict regulations about what can be put on a memorial and what can’t. As previously mentioned, following cremation, ashes do not have to be interred and there are many ways of honouring a loved one besides opting for the traditional urn. For more information on every aspect of planning a funeral service, visit:

www.funeralservicesguide.com

Food is an important part of funeral customs across the world. Following a funeral service in Estonia for example, they will eat bread and pastries and drink vodka at the graveside. We tend to opt for a simple buffet but what food you serve, whether you make it yourself or hire a caterer,

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Offley O

Memorials

“A Family Business with Family Values”

- Nicholas Prutton

There are guidelines to follow in all cemeteries and churchyards which will govern the type, size, material and design of your natural stone tribute. Permission must be sought before a memorial of any sort can be placed and Offley Memorials will happily guide you through this process.

Plaques which lie flat on the ground and are flush with the grass often mark a cremation plot. They can incorporate a flower container if size allows.

Children's upright memorials are often smaller in size due to the reduced dimensions of the graves they mark. From foot and handprints or a personalised dedicated message/drawing from big brother or sister, these can be personalised in many ways.

Tablets (sometimes referred to as a desk or wedge) sit flat on the ground. The back of the stone is higher than the front creating a slanted surface for the inscription.

Headstones are vertical in stature and can also be carved into heart and book shaped designs. They are more commonly fixed to a matching base which in turn sits on a concrete foundation below ground level. These can be personalised with any statue, design or photograph.

Vases can be placed directly on the ground, mounted on their own plinth or fixed to the base of an existing memorial. They can have inscriptions, carvings and etchings on the face if required.

Garden Kerb memorials often incorporate an upright headstone or carved book whilst providing a small enclosed area for chippings. Soil can also be provided if natural planting is preferred as can a solid cover slab for ease of maintenance.

Cremation memorials often consist of a combination of a carved heart, book and vase. They can also be vertical headstones like those which mark a burial grave but are normally scaled down in size to conform to regulations.

Full size kerb memorials usually cover the entire footprint of the grave and can be as ornate or as simple in design as you like. These sit on concrete landings for support and can be finished with either chippings, a cover slab or earth for planting depending on your preference.

PLEASE CONTACT US FOR A FREE BROCHURE, FURTHER ASSISTANCE OR ADVICE.

Luton White Hill, Offley, Hitchin, Herts, SG5 3DL People’s memorial mason of choice throughout Herts, Beds & Bucks.

0146218372 371

www.offleymemorials.co.uk • info@offleymemorials.co.uk


Planning... Planning Ahead for Peace of Mind Arranging a funeral for a loved one can be a distressing experience for family and friends. Quite often the wishes of the deceased have never been discussed and it is left to grieving relatives to second guess what they may have wanted. Hertfordshire’s leading independent funeral directors Austin’s, offers an exclusive, pre-payment funeral plan which enables you to have the funeral of your choice and your family to avoid any emotional or financial stress. Unlike many other plans, the Hertfordshire Funeral Plan is bespoke so arrangements can be as simple or elaborate as required. And whatever choices you do make, you can rest assured that you and your loved ones will benefit from the exceptional customer care that Austin’s is renowned for. How it works If you are considering a plan, our funeral arrangers will be happy to guide you through the options. They will go through the details in the same way as any other funeral and will provide you with a written estimate. The cost is based on Austin’s current price list and is fully inclusive of all Austin’s charges. You will receive a draft plan of the arrangements for your approval. You may wish to discuss your wishes with family and friends and any changes can easily be made prior to finalising the plan.

Austin’s Funeral Directors are proud to support Stevenage Community Trust

Once you are completely happy, and payment has been made, you will receive a certificate outlining all the details of your plan. When the time comes your family simply informs us that you have a Hertfordshire Funeral Plan and we will take care of everything. Frequently asked questions • Is the plan secure? Although the Hertfordshire Funeral Plan is operated in conjunction with Austin’s Funeral Service, its fund and administration are protected under an independent trust. • Must I be in good health to take out a plan? No. A Hertfordshire Funeral Plan may be taken out by anyone regardless of age or state of health. • Can I change my mind about the arrangements? Yes. Changes may be made by contacting Austin’s. • What happens if I die away from home or on holiday? The plan will cover returning you from anywhere in the United Kingdom, to your home area. Should you die whilst overseas, the plan includes collecting you from any UK port or airport. • Will the plan completely cover the cost of my funeral? Yes. Providing that the funeral arrangements are carried out in accordance with the details of your plan, no further funeral director’s charges will be incurred. The complete funeral service

www.austins.co.uk

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01438 316623


Bereavement Article 2018 A4 Double.qxp_Layout 1 13/06/2019 11:24 Page 1

Don’t let finances cloud your memories You may think it is unlikely that investment advice would be needed when dealing with the death of a loved one, but sadly, worries about money often surface at difficult times. This is especially true if the person who died usually managed the family finances. You may find yourself dealing with unusually large sums of money through inheritance, which can be a daunting and sometimes overwhelming experience. You may have well­meaning friends and family offering to help but what may be best is sympathetic, impartial professional advice from people who understand investments. Based in Hitchin, the local branch of Raymond James Investment Services are a family run business located in the town centre. Headed by Susie Bewell and Faye Silver, who together have over 40 years experience in financial services. Backed by an excellent team, Susie and Faye offer sound planning and investment advice tailored to your needs. They will look at your financial situation and discuss your concerns, answer your questions and make realistic suggestions. They pride themselves on speaking plain English, not ‘investment jargon’ as, even if you've never dealt with investments before, it is important you understand the choices available. Even if you are not yet dealing with loss, you may still have concerns about what will happen in the future to your finances or the care of a family member. Whether you need to explore ways to fund care home fees or options around selling the family home, Raymond James can help you plan for and address these difficult decisions when they arise.

Risk Warning. With investment, your capital is at risk. The value of investments and the income from them can do down as well as up and neither is guaranteed. Raymond James Investment Services Limited is a member of the London Stock Exchange and is authorised and registered by the Financial Conduct Authority Registered in England and Wales No.3779657. Registered office: Ropemaker Place, 25 Ropemaker Street, London EC2Y 9LY. 20


A family business basedbased in Hitchin, headed by Susie BewellBewell and Faye who who A family business in Hitchin, headed by Susie and Silver, Faye Silver, together have over years experience in financial services. together have40 over 40 years experience in financial services. All initial meetings are FREE, so if you questions then please give usgive us All initial meetings are FREE, so ifhave youany haveinvestment any investment questions then please a call on 01462 422507. a call on 01462 422507. We have freea‘Drop­in’ on theonfirst of each Just come to thetooffice and and We ahave free ‘Drop­in’ theFriday first Friday of month. each month. Just come the office talk over or book freeaimpartial meeting at a time suittoyou. talkyour overconcerns your concerns or abook free impartial meeting at ato time suit you.

For more informa�on visit:visit: www.rjwealthmanager.co.uk or or For more informa�on www.rjwealthmanager.co.uk www.facebook.com/RJISHitchin/ or call on 01462 422507 www.facebook.com/RJISHitchin/ orthe calloffice the office on 01462 422507 21


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KNEBWORTH GOLF CLUB

Let us help you remember and cherish your loved one... At Knebworth Golf Club we do all we can to provide the atmosphere, where you can cherish and fondly recall the life of your loved one with friends and family. In picturesque surroundings and with experience in hosting funeral receptions and wakes, we can assist you with all arrangements ensuring your day is stress free at this difficult time.

Choose from a range of catering options: • A range of Buffet styles • Cream and afternoon Tea • Our Head Chef is happy to create a custom menu designed just for you We are situated just a short 5 minute drive away from Harwood Park Crematorium. Please call the office for a personal quote on 01438 812 752 or email us at:

We have two different function rooms, firstly our conservatory which overlooks the beautiful views of the golf course with access to the outdoor patio area and can hold up to 150 guests.

e: office@knebworthgolfclub.com w: www.knebworthgolf club.com The Knebworth Golf Club Limited Deards End Lane, Knebworth Hertfordshire, SG3 6NL

Our second function room, the Dining Room is suitable for more intimate functions and can hold up to 35 guests.

Please call the office for a personal quote on 01438 812752 or email us at office@knebworthgolfclub.com

www.knebworthgolf club.com

23


Order of Service...

How to Layout the Order of Service Funeral and memorial services are difficult times in anyone’s

departed.

life and putting together an order of service can be hard. You will want to include a variety of things in tribute to your

Songs, Music, and Poems – You should include the titles

loved one and you will need to speak to family members

of any songs or poems, as well as the authors or composers.

or friends who are happy to do the eulogy (the main

You should also include the reader’s name and relationship to

remembrance speech) and readings.

the deceased.

When you have decided on the type of funeral, who will be

Readings - This area is used to list who will be speaking the

playing a role and what you would like to include, you will

eulogy or ‘in memory’ speeches. Again, you should include

need to create a printed order of service. Those in attendance

each speaker’s name in the correct order, as well as their

will use this as a means of following the proceedings.

relationship to the departed.

Order of Service Cover

Prayers (if it is a religious ceremony) – List who is leading

The front cover of the funeral order of service is usually used

the prayer.

as a space for a picture of your loved one. The cover should also include the person’s full name, their date of birth, date of death, and the time and location of the service. You could add a short poem or quote too.

Hymns or Other Music - You can include lyrics if you want attendees to join in the singing. Committal: Blessing or Final Words – Include the name of

Order of Service Content

the Rector/Vicar or the person who is leading the close of the

The inside of the order of service pamphlet can include an obituary, favourite poems, Bible verses, and/or songs and music in the order in which they happen. You could also include a page that gives a timeline of the service. This will

service here. You could print out the words if there is enough space.

Closing Music

list the speakers and the order and/or times of readings,

The above is only a guide to the traditional Order of Service.

prayers or music, the eulogy and closing remarks. It will

If you are not having a religious service or have opted for

usually look something like this:

something more unconventional, you will want to supply a printed guide and memento to your attendees that reflects

Arrival Procession – This is usually done to music and the

this.

order of service should include the name of the piece of music or song (whether you have chosen classical or pop).

By Catherine Rose

Introduction – ‘We are here to celebrate the life of…..’

We can create beautiful personal, bespoke design and print

You can also include the timeline of service listing who

for your Order of Services, please contact:

the speaker or speakers are and their relationship to the

gabbi@meadowviewmedia.com tel: Gabbi 07931 512 253

24


The

DUNCOMBE

ARMS

The Duncombe Arms Waresley FAMILY-OWNED FREE HOUSE Situated in the picturesque village of Waresley, The Duncombe Arms is perfectly placed to host a personalised and private funeral reception to remember and celebrate the life of your loved one. Catering for up to 100 people, we can supply tailor-made hot and

cold buffets, afternoon tea or a full sit-down menu. Smaller gatherings can be accommodated in our cosy Snug Restaurant or larger ones in our air-conditioned Reading Room Restaurant. In addition, we have a lovely, peaceful garden overlooking the village church and plenty of parking at the rear.

We have experienced staff who will listen and ensure your reception goes smoothly at this difficult time. Please telephone our patron head chef Daniel Rose on 01767 650764 for enquiries and pricing or pop in and speak to our front of house manager.

All our delicious dishes are freshlymade from local produce in our fivestar hygiene rated kitchen. We cater 25 for any dietary requirements.

THE DUNCOMBE ARMS Eltisely Road, Waresley, Cambs. SG19 3BS Tel: 01767 650 764

www.duncombe-arms.com


Harwood Park... Keeping Memories Alive Nestled in the Hertfordshire countryside on the outskirts of Stevenage, Harwood Park Crematorium and Memorial Gardens is a place of peace and tranquillity. It is owned and managed by Austin’s, Hertfordshire’s leading independent funeral directors, and has been serving the local community for 15 years. In this relatively short period of time it has become the preferred choice for many bereaved families and now carries out over 2,200 cremations a year. The crematorium was a labour of love for the late John Austin who was the ninth generation of his family to run the 300-year-old company. For over 30 years he campaigned for a local crematorium but having failed to convince the cash-strapped authorities of the need for such a facility he finally decided to build and run it himself. Having fought so long and hard, John was determined to provide the community with a first class service and facilities. He had visited crematoria all over the country and was exasperated at what he perceived to be a lack of thought and consideration for the needs of the bereaved and their loved ones. He decided that at Harwood Park the needs of the mourners would be paramount. This meant not only providing a personal, caring and compassionate service but also getting the practical things right

Austin’s Funeral Directors are proud to support Stevenage Community Trust

including ensuring mourners did not leave a service to be confronted by the next group of mourners; providing state of the art music technology; making sure the administrative offices were away from the chapel and placing the catafalque (on which the coffin rests) off-centre so mourners are not forced to look at it but can instead look out a strategically placed window over rolling countryside. “Dad was passionate about getting Harwood Park right,” explains his daughter Claire who is now managing director of Austin’s. “And his efforts have been appreciated by so many people over the years. The gardens are beautiful and our dedicated gardeners make sure that they always look stunning and welcoming.” Mourners are offered a variety of ways to commemorate their loved ones including memorial seats, dedicated trees and shrubs, a rose garden with plaques and stone memorials. In addition to Harwood Park, Austin’s has eight funeral arranging offices throughout Hertfordshire. It has recently won a number of prestigious international and local business awards including business of the year at the Hertfordshire Chamber of Commerce and Industry awards and medium business of the year at the Hertfordshire Business Awards.

The complete funeral service www.austins.co.uk

26

01438 316623


MOSAIC FLORAL Gary and the team welcome you to the refurbished Fox & Duck in Stotfold, just a short drive from Hitchin, Bedford and the A1(M) Junction 10. At the Fox and Duck we pride ourselves on using locally sourced produce in our restaurant. Our restaurant and

a florist with a difference

outside space is surrounded by beautiful countryside. We also have ample parking at the Fox and Duck.

• Over 25 years floristry experience • Small independent business • Free local delivery

Our friendly and caring staff will look after all your needs at this difficult time. Our Buffets costs start from just £7.50 per head.

our friendly staff are here to help you at this difficult time offering a wide range of floral tributes that can be tailor made to suit any requirements.

t: 01462

440772

18 Hermitage Rd, Hitchin, Herts SG5 1BT

For more more information Contact Gary on:

email: info@mosaic-floral .co.uk

t: 01462 732434 e: info@foxandduckstotfold.co.uk Fox and Duck, Arlesey Road, Stotfold, SG5 4HE

www.mosaicfloraleffects.co.uk

www.keepsake-jewellery.com info@keepsake-jewellery.com Cremation Jewellery, filled with tiny portions of a loved-one’s ashes assures that family memories will always be nearby for those wanting to preserve them. Urns UK are proud of their extensive range of jewellery on offer. We seek out the innovative, the lovely and the unique so that you are able to find that perfect keepsake to honour your loved one. Ashes can either be infused into the actual design or can be held in a small chamber. We offer a variety of materials from precious metals such as gold and silver to stainless steel and solid wood. Ashes can either be infused into the actual design or can be held in a small chamber. Both cremation jewellery and keepsakes offer consolation whilst at the same time enables the wearer to express devotion to loved ones.

27


About Urns UK… When someone close to your heart passes away, the sorrow can be overwhelming. Finding the perfect final memorial for them can be a deep and abiding comfort. A resting place that speaks to their personality – and the bond you shared with them – is priceless. Here at Urns UK, we’ve spent more than a decade helping families like yours find the right memorial for their loved ones.

Memorials of all kinds Our wide range includes stunning urns and caskets for the home or for scattering, biodegradable urns for water or earth burials, and durable sculpture urns for the garden. Our materials are of the highest quality, from gorgeous ceramics to warm wood and intricately hand-etched brass.

butterfly designs to angels, lilies, and even golf, it’s easy to find a memorial piece that says something about your loved one. Designs come in many sizes, allowing for adults, couples, children, and smaller, palm-sized ‘keepsake’ urns. We also have a beautiful jewellery range for those who would like to keep their loved one close to their heart. We understand that now might be the most difficult time of your life, and we’re here for you. Know that you can reach out to us for help and advice at any time.

We seek out beauty and individuality in every piece, so you can trust us to help you find something truly fitting for your loved one.

A meaningful resting place We believe everyone deserves a resting place that speaks to their personality. From

28 Call Us: 01923 220273


www.urnsuk.com

•29 info@urnsuk.com


WELWYN GARDEN CITY GOLF CLUB Let us help you make the last goodbye a little easier….. Coming to terms with the loss of a loved one is always difficult and the added pressure of organising a funeral reception can cause unnecessary stress at an already difficult time. Here at Welwyn Garden City Golf Club we aim to do everything possible to reduce the pressure on you. Our dining room is the perfect setting with amazing views over the golf course and you will have exclusive use. Alternatively we have a lounge bar with a patio area which also looks out on to the golf course.

We offer a range of catering styles and packages to suite your requirements, and would be happy to discuss your individual wishes.

Please contact Eve Drake, our F&B Manager, for further details:  01707 325243

 eve@wgcgc.co.uk

 www.wgcgc.co.uk

WGC Golf Club, Mannicotts, High Oaks Road, Welwyn Garden City AL8 7BP

30


Large enough to cope small enough to care. Allow us to take the stress away from you. Providing food for all your needs using Local Fresh produce. We can tailor make your buffet to suit all of your dietary needs. Able to cater for the whole event including staff & supplies. Contact Jan on:

01234 742 762

Mob:

07958 223 073

Email to: benedickterscaterers@gmail.com

The Old Dairy, 1 Church Road, Wilstead MK45 3HH

www.benedickterscatering.co.uk

Blooms of Baldock When you lose a loved one, saying goodbye is not easy. Giving flowers can be a fitting way to pay tribute to those we love. Let the flowers for the funeral say what words alone can not.

Whether you need something small like a posy, or a large coffin spray, Julie at Blooms of Baldock can advise you on the different types of tributes available.

07747 195 325 www.bloomsandballoonsofbaldock.co.uk

31


Floral Tributes... Facts On Funeral Flowers Although it is now customary for many people to request that relatives and friends attending a funeral donate to a charitable cause rather than spend money on flowers, floral tributes nevertheless remain an important part of the funeral service for the immediate family. A professional display of beautiful flowers coupled with a heartfelt message, however simple, can help express feelings of loss as well as honouring your loved one.

• If you would like a single floral tribute from the family to accompany the coffin, this can take the form of a coffin spray or for Christian burials, you can opt for a cross made up of a single flower type such as rose or lily. Either of these can be placed on top of the coffin throughout its journey. Floral lettering (such as ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or the name of the deceased) remains popular and these will usually sit at the side or rear of the coffin on its journey to the service and carried in on arrival separately.

• Don’t feel you have to stick with white or cream for a funeral unless that is your preference. In the same way that you can include uplifting music at a funeral service, colour adds impact to flowers and can send out the message that you are celebrating your loved one’s life. Lime green, purple, orange, red and yellow can all be appropriate as funeral arrangements. You may want to choose a colour or a flower that was a favourite of the deceased. Bear in mind that some flowers may not be available throughout the year.

• Flowers that are available all year should be cheaper and are usually long-lasting. Lilies, roses, carnations and gerbera come in a wide choice of colours and will give a touching display whatever the season. These also all make good main flowers. Remember that larger lilies such as calla require seven days to open and flowers need to be properly conditioned for 24 hours before use, so place orders as early as possible to have the flowers you want looking their best.

• If you are struggling to choose an appropriate tribute, florists will have catalogues that contain ideas and pricing for funeral flowers. Please note that photographs are usually taken of the largest sized tribute so if the size

32

you order is smaller, it may not look quite the same as the picture. If you know what you would like - perhaps a bespoke design such as a teddy or animal or an arrangement to reflect a hobby of the deceased, etc. do give plenty of notice to your chosen florist as more complex tributes may need a specially prepared base to be made which adds to the time needed to create them.

• Most florists will deliver your flowers to your chosen funeral director free of charge so that the tributes can be included with the coffin in the hearse. This will usually be around two hours before the funeral although you can have them delivered to your home should you so wish.

• Whether you are ordering flowers in person at a florist, over the phone or through a website, take time to think about the message you would like to incorporate with your tribute beforehand, so you can plan your words while you are not under pressure. If you feel lost for words, there are some beautiful poems that have been written for these difficult times and florists and funeral directors can both give you ideas for messages.

• If you end up with a lot of flowers after the funeral, you could consider giving them to a local hospice or old people’s home, bringing some joy to others out of a sorrowful day. You may also like the idea of having some of the funeral flowers dried afterwards and incorporated into a picture along with your loved one’s photograph. These can even be given as memorial gifts to family members. Several companies offer this service or if you like crafts, you could try doing this yourself using a simple flower press. By Catherine Rose


L E T C H W O R T H

G O L F

C L U B

E S T .

1 9 0 5

FUNERAL PACKAGES

The perfect venue to celebrate the life of your loved one with packages tailored to suit all budgets

Letchworth Golf Club set in picturesque grounds features a wonderfully equipped lounge, bar & function rooms ideal for holding wakes & receptions to celebrate the life of your loved ones. With a first class catering team we can also sympathetically prepare a selection of buffets or a specific menu request you may have.

For further details and to make a booking, please contact the office.

Letchworth Golf Club Letchworth Lane, Letchworth Garden 33 City, Hertfordshire, SG6 3NQ. Telephone: 01462 683203 | www.letchworthgolfclub.com


Lister Hospitalʻs Butterfly Service Ensuring no one has to die alone… It is recognised that in the final days and hours of a person’s life it is not always possible for staff or family members to sit with dying patients. In early 2016, the Palliative Care team at The Lister Hospital estimated that between 15 to 20 patients were dying alone in the Trust every month. With the support of the East & North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity, the award-winning Lister Butterfly Service is now in its 3rd year and growing from strength to strength, making a fundamental difference to the way The Lister Hospital provides end of life care. Ward staff found that working closely with the team of volunteers freed up their time to care for other patients, safe in the knowledge that there is someone providing support to patients who are dying. Working with volunteers around end of life is recognised by the Care Quality Commission (CQC) as good practice. At present, the Lister Butterfly Service has 31 volunteers who cover 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. We are currently training more volunteers so that we will see a time where there will be support covering the whole day,

every day. A number of families had sent in thank-you cards to the service. In one card, the Butterfly Volunteers were described as ‘angels with butterfly wings.’ This word cloud is taken from words used in the thank-you cards. The larger words represent words that were used more often in the cards.

Going forwards, our aim is to develop the service and support even more people who are in their final weeks and months of life. This will give patients someone to listen to, giving peace of mind that they are being heard and supported, especially if their families are spread far and wide, or they feel totally alone. All this would not be possible without the generosity of friends, family and the local community who have supported the 34

Lister Butterfly Service with their donations. A final quote from, Angela Fenn, the Butterfly Service Co-ordinator, explains why the service is so important:

I believe everyone deserves to be recognised and to celebrate their life, even if it is just for a short time. Personally, I want to die knowing that my life has had a meaning, been worth living, knowing that I did make a difference and I believe that is in the heart of everyone. So along with the amazing team of Butterfly Volunteers, our aim is to continue to spread the word of how we can make a difference to someone who has found themselves alone in this last chapter of their life.”

Angela Fenn, the Butterfly Service Co-ordinator


Helping To Provide Extraordinary Patient Care East & North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity raises You can make a donation in the following ways: funds for the Lister, New QEII and Hertford County Online: www.enhhcharity.org.uk/donate Hospitals and Mount Vernon Cancer Centre. The Charity helps to fund projects including the Lister Butterfly Service, Lynda Jackson Macmillan Centre and Lister Macmillan Cancer Centre. By making a donation or fundraising for the East & North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity, you will help to fund state of the art equipment, innovative research, specialist staff training and the improvement of patient areas across our hospitals.

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Registered charity number 1053338


Making a Will... How Do I Make A Will? We spend our lives working to provide for ourselves and our loved ones. You may have a house or a flat in the UK or overseas, shares, savings, and investments, as well as your personal possessions. All these assets are referred to as your ‘estate’. It’s important to have a will if you have children, your own property, savings, investments, insurance policies or you own a business. Making a will ensures that when you die your estate is shared according to your wishes. Not making a will means you die ‘intestate’ and your estate is divided up according to law. This also happens if your will isn’t legal i.e. does not conform to the laws governing the making of a will. If you have children under 18, making a will ensures their security by naming who you want to take care of them in the event of your death and making provision for that care. WHAT HAPPENS IF I DIE WITHOUT A WILL? If you die without a will, the complex rules of intestacy will divide your estate in a certain way and your money may not go to those who you wished to benefit. For example, if you live with someone and are not married or in a civil partnership, they will not automatically inherit your estate, nor will any stepchildren. In the case of jointly owned property, depending on whether you are joint tenants or tenants in common will dictate whether your partner inherits your share of the property, so without a will, things can get complicated with partners and families left facing financial difficulties. Dying intestate also means that your estate will not be disposed of in the most tax-efficient way with a large proportion of your money going to the government. HOW DO I MAKE A MAKE A WILL AND DO I NEED A SOLICITOR? There is no obligation to use a solicitor in drawing up your will, providing you adhere to the laws governing wills which is a legal contract. This includes having the will signed, dated and witnessed. However, it is advisable to seek a solicitor’s advice to ensure that you do not make any mistakes which may be costly and time consuming later.

In making a will, you should think about the following: • First you must list what you have in your estate, and then you can decide how your estate should be shared out between beneficiaries (who gets what). • Consider what will happen if any of your beneficiaries die before you do. • Discuss who will look after your children (if you have any) and how this will be funded. • You will need to name an executor, that is the person who should carry out the wishes contained in your will. Ideally this should not be a beneficiary and can be your solicitor. • Any other wishes you may have, for example if you want to be buried or cremated. • You can additionally write a side letter to go with your will listing any personal items that you want to gift to specific people, and you can also detail any funeral wishes you may have. WHEN SHOULD I CHANGE MY WILL? Once you have made a legal will you should review it regularly to make sure it reflects your wishes, especially if you: • Get married / enter a civil partnership • Get divorced • Have new family members come along that you wish to benefit, for example, a new partner, new children of your own, stepchildren, nieces, nephews, or grandchildren • Buy a new property, business or gain an expensive asset. HOW DO I FIND A SOLICITOR TO HELP MAKE MY WILL? To find a solicitor who can help with making your will, visit the Law Society’s website: www.lawsociety.org.uk/. The Citizens Advice Bureau has useful impartial advice on making a will and explains the laws of intestacy. Visit: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/wills/

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Giving you a nd you r family peace of mind for the future

Your local advisors with a personal, friendly approach WILL WRITING SERVICES, POWER OF ATTORNEY, TRUSTS, LIFE COVER, RETIREMENT PLANNING, FUNERAL PLANS, PROBATE, MORTAGES AND CONVEYANCING With over 20 years’ experience in financial planning, we help you to protect your family and your finances for the future.

It’s free to talk to us - if you are unable to make it in to our office, we are happy to arrange a home visit. Why not get in touch and book an appointment.

Call us on 01462 615233

info@willtrustandprotect.co.uk

www.willtrustandprotect.co.uk

17a High Street, Shefford, Bedfordshire SG17 5DD

37


Power of Attorney Understanding Power of Attorney... Although you may be fit and well now, there could

Before 2007, Power of Attorney was known as

come a time when you will need the help of your

Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA). Although it has

partner, adult children or a trusted relative to manage

now been replaced by LPA, if you have EPA it is still

your finances or healthcare and make decisions on

legal but only covers wealth and property. Unlike LPA,

your behalf.

EPA doesn’t have to be registered until you have lost the mental capacity to manage your affairs (as verified

It is now becoming increasingly common to take out

by a doctor or solicitor). But your attorney(s) can

a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) which gives your

still act on your behalf prior to registration with your

chosen person or people the legal right to act for you

agreement.

following a decline in your health or mental capacity.

Since EPA was replaced, if you want someone to

If you give more than one person Power of Attorney,

temporarily make decisions for you due to short-term

for example your children, you can stipulate whether they act jointly or severally.

incapacitating illness, you can take out an Ordinary

There is no minimum age at which you can take out

be registered but will automatically expire before its

a Power of Attorney although many people find it

end date should you lose mental capacity.

Power of Attorney (OPA) which also doesn’t have to

convenient do this when they make or update their will.

Being an attorney brings responsibility to manage the donor’s affairs honestly, transparently and in their best

There are two types of Lasting Power of Attorney: one

interests. That means keeping their finances separate

which covers property and wealth; and one which

from your own.

covers health and welfare. Most people take out both in a single document.

If you don’t have a Power of Attorney in place and become mentally incapacitated, your loved ones will

Giving someone LPA over your property and wealth

need to make an application through the Court to act

means that they can legally help you manage your

on your behalf which can be long and costly. It can

bills, banking or even sell your property to pay for

also mean money gets tied up as no one knows or can

your care fees; while a health or welfare LPA allows

legally prove what your wishes were before you were

your chosen attorney(s) to make decisions on your behalf about your medical and healthcare.

incapacitated, for example if you develop dementia.

LPA must be registered for a small fee with the Office

still of sound mind – not after - and they end in the

of the Public Guardian before it can come into force.

event of your death.

Powers of Attorney can only be set up while you are

Your solicitor can do this for you as part of drawing up Catherine Rose

the LPA.

38


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Coroner... Hertfordshire Coroners Service Hertfordshire Coroners Service provides

• • • • • •

investigatory and administrative support to Coroners for the jurisdiction of Hertfordshire, in accordance with the Coroners & Justice Act 2009. The duties of the coroner are: • To investigate the circumstances of the deaths of all persons whose bodies are lying within his

Deaths abroad of British citizens Suicide Acute alcohol poisoning Bone fracture within 3 months of death Industrial accidents Deaths during operations, anesthetic or surgical procedures

Hertfordshire Coroners:

jurisdiction where he has reason to believe that the death was violent, unnatural, of unknown

Senior Coroner: Mr Geoffrey Sulllivan

cause or if the deceased died in custody or in state

Deputy Coroner: Mr Graham Rollason Danbury

detention.

Assistant Coroner: Dr Frances M. Cranfield

• To decide whether a post mortem examination is necessary for the purpose of the investigation and if so to give directions to the appropriate

Assistant Coroner: Mr Edward Solomons Assistant Assistant Coroner: Jacques Howell Assistant Coroner: Alison McCormick

pathologist. • To hold an inquest with or without a jury

Coroners are independent judicial officers. Coroner’s Officers investigate deaths on behalf of the Coroner and liaise with the bereaved and professionals involved in the case.

as required under the Coroner’s and Justice Act 2009. • To notify the registrar of the findings of the inquest or that an inquest is not required.

Contact details:

Examples of deaths that are reportable to the

Hertfordshire Coroner Service

coroner are:

The Old Courthouse

• Doctor not in attendance

St Albans Road East

• Transport and road collisions • Drugs or alcohol/poison

Hatfield, Hertfordshire

• Sudden infant death

AL10 0ES

• Homicide

Telephone 01707 292 707

• Industrial accidents

Email coroner.service@hertfordshire.gov.uk

40


Peace of mind for you and your family The Hertfordshire Funeral Plan is a bespoke, pre-payment plan exclusive to Austin’s which takes care of your wishes and simpliďƒžes the arrangements for your loved ones.

01438 794420

MO NDAY - F R I DAY ON LY

www.austins.co.uk

Planning ahead for peace of mind 41


Signs of Comfort... Across many cultures going back as far as the Ancient Egyptians, there is a long-held belief that when a loved one dies, they may send subtle physical signs back to the living to let them know that they are still around. There is often a consensus of experience which, when perceived, can offer the bereaved much reassurance. We look at the most common. Animals, Birds and Insects People frequently report unusual encounters with animals, wild birds (particularly robins), or other creatures after a loved one passes. It is common to see butterflies in unexpected places and both these and dragonflies are symbols of the afterlife due to the fact they undertake metamorphosis. Such occurrences will often be notable and will always leave you with the sense that they are somehow significant. Music A piece of music that was a favourite of your loved one or a song that was special to you both may suddenly be playing somewhere at an opportune moment. Feathers and Flowers Some people report seeing white feathers or flowers in unexpected places. When my own father died, I was abroad, so my sister put a white rose in his hand as a token from me in my absence. After his funeral, I kept finding white roses around the house. I even found one in my shoe! To this day I can’t rationally explain where they came from. I heard a similar story of someone who kept coming across poppies after a close family member died suddenly on Remembrance Day. Rainbows Native American Indians believed that the rainbow is a symbol of the afterlife. I also saw far more rainbows than usual for up to a year after my father’s death, the first appearing on the horizon as my plane touched down in the UK just after he died. Meaningful Objects Some people report strange incidents with significant objects. Perhaps a photograph or a favourite book of the deceased keeps falling from the shelf. One friend told me of an incident where an old birthday

42

card from her late grandmother to her- flew out of a drawer on her birthday, as if wanting to wish her many happy returns. Electrical Interference People have reported strange behaviour in household electrical devices when a family member has passed on: the TV turning on by itself, sometimes when a previously favourite programme was on; and lights flickering or switching themselves on and off. There are also cases of people receiving telephone calls shortly after someone has died with only white noise at the other end of the line when they answer. Invisible Touch Have you ever experienced the feeling that someone is stroking your hair, touching your arm or sitting beside you when there is no one there? Some people believe that this can again be a sign that the departed is reassuring you at that moment. Smells If your loved one smoked, you may suddenly smell their brand of tobacco in the air, or perhaps you sense their favourite perfume or the brand of soap they always used. The ability to smell fragrance linked to a deceased loved one is called clairgustance. Dreams A loved one can also visit us in dreams where they sometimes give us signs, messages or gifts. These dreams can be very vivid, emotional and unlike your usual dreams. If you experience any signs like these, you are not unique. Cherish and accept them for what they are and the comfort they bring. Sceptics will argue there are rational explanations, but until we have more understanding of life and death, it is wonderful to think that our loved ones may somehow still be with us. Catherine Rose Have you experienced signs following the death of a loved one? Contact ‘The Bereavement Companion’ if you would like to share them. email: info@meadowviewmedia.com tel: 07931 512 253


43


Organ Donation... What is a Donation? Is there anyone that can’t donate? The donating of organs and tissues needs to be done safely to protect both the donor and the recipient. Each case is assessed on an individual basis. Currently, the only restrictions are:

Donation is giving an organ or tissue to help someone who needs a transplant. Transplants can greatly enhance the lives of other people, but this relies on donors. There are two types of donors: living and deceased. Organ donation helps save the lives of those with damaged organs. Tissue donations can be used to treat many life threatening conditions.

• Those aged over 85 years old. • Those who have Creutzfeldt- Jakob Disease (CJD), or • A cancer that has spread in the last 12 months. What about religion? All the major religions in the UK support the idea of organ donation and transplantation. It is important to talk to your family and make them aware of your decision regarding donation. Further information regarding specific religions and donation can be found on the website listed below.

What can be donated? The following organs can be donated by an individual:

How can I help? Your family’s consent is needed for a donation to go ahead. It can be difficult to make this decision, so letting them known now will make it easier for them in the future. So please, have a chat with your loved ones about your decision either way or once you’ve signed up to the register, share this decision with your family.

• Heart • Lungs • Liver • Kidneys • Pancreas • Small bowel In addition, tissues such as corneas can be donated which would help restore sight to someone that is blind.

To register, please call:

0300 123 23 23 or visit: www.organdonation.nhs.uk

Editorial provided by Lister Organ Donation Committee

44


Posy Bowl Florist has been established for 40 years, specialising in a bespoke, modern and traditional funeral tributes. Please Call us at the shop we will help create a fitting tribute. Alternatively visit our Funeral photo gallery on our website for inspiration.

01480 212 939

Email: flowers@posybowlflorist.co.uk Website: www.posybowlflorist.co.uk 52 St.Neots Road, Eaton Ford, PE19 7BD

Bookings For 2019-2020 Bereavement Companion Magazine

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Looking for a Venue? We offer warm, respectful funeral receptions where friends & family can come together to express their condolences, share memories & raise their glasses. Our friendly team are on hand to arrange catering & any special touches you may wish to add to the day.

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45


Losing a Beloved Pet... Pets can become an integral part of the family. Routines are often based around them which become comforting daily habits and their individual characters grow to be as familiar to you as those of your loved ones. It is therefore very difficult when their generally much shorter lives come to an end and we have to say goodbye to a much-loved friend and companion.

Perhaps you have more than one pet. Sometimes, it is not only you and your family that grieve the loss but your other pet/s may also show symptoms of grief having lost a companion that they have played, slept or eaten with. Some vets recommend that when it is time for a pet to be put to sleep, your other pets should be present.

Often it is made more difficult as your grief can feel every bit as strong as losing a family member, but people’s understanding and sympathy is usually not as forthcoming for an animal. “Never mind, you can get another cat…dog…etc.” is not really something you want to hear when to you, your pet was irreplaceable.

Just as when you are grieving for a person, there is no set length of time that it is appropriate to mourn the loss of a pet. No matter how many pets you have, each is special in his or her own way and although pain will lessen with time, you will continue to miss their presence no matter how many years elapse. It is important to give yourself time to mourn and not be hard on yourself.

Older people can particularly struggle with the loss of a pet who has been a companion at a time when many of their friends and perhaps a partner have passed on. Pets give us unconditional love and do not judge us like our fellow human beings. For these reasons, the depth of grief at losing a pet can be deeper than you imagined.

Some people hold a funeral or memorial ceremony. If you feel lost for words, there are beautiful poems and quotations available on the internet dedicated to losing a pet which can be shared at this time. There are also now many ways you can remember a beloved pet, from customised pet memorials including gravestones and urns to tasteful jewellery which incorporates some of your pet’s ashes. One company, Furbaby Casting does pet paw mouldings so that you can forever capture their footprints.

Because our pets rely on us for their care and wellbeing, it is incredibly common to feel guilt when a pet dies, especially if you have had to make the difficult decision to have your pet euthanised. It is perfectly normal to question yourself: “Did I do enough?”, “Could I have done more?”, “Did I make the right decision?” And even “Was it my fault?” Some people remain haunted by the final image of their pet before death. Because our pets put their whole trust in us, it can be extremely distressing to think that you might have let them down and hard to shake feelings of blame. However, if you do feel like this, it is a sure sign that you greatly loved your pet and will have done everything possible to have enabled them to have a happy stress-free life. This is what you should focus on.

46

If you have lost a pet and are struggling and need support, just as with human bereavements there are charities you can contact. The Blue Cross runs a pet bereavement support service. Telephone 0800 096 6606 or email them through their contact form at: https://www.bluecross.org.uk/ pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss.

Catherine Rose


Offley O

Memorials

“A Family Business with Family Values”

- Nicholas Prutton

We are all pet owners at Offley Memorials and our animals have all in their own way, stolen our hearts and have very much become a part of our family.

Furbaby Casting Unique Castings of your Pets Paws Welcome to Furbaby Casting. We are dedicated to making every furbaby feel like a superstar by casting and framing their paws for all to cherish and admire.

We understand that it is never easy to experience the loss of a beloved companion.

If your furbaby is still with you I would be honoured to visit you before you say goodbye. Or if your baby has passed I will visit your home, Vets practice or Crematorium as soon as possible. I make all memorial castings a priority. The process is the exactly the same as living pets, and you can be assured that I will look after your furbaby and give him or her a last cuddle if you would like me too. Please do not hesitate to contact Belle on: t: 07525 131 908 e: furbabycasting@icloud.com (Please do not use facebook to contact me as I may not receive your message.)

For more information on how we can help you commemorate your faithful friend, please contact us on:

Luton White Hill, Offley, Hitchin, Herts, SG5 3DL

People’s memorial mason of choice throughout Herts, Beds & Bucks.

01462 372 371

www.furbabycasting.com

www.offleymemorials.co.uk • info@offleymemorials.co.uk

www.urnsuk.com info@urnsuk.com t: 01923 220273 Finding the perfect resting place for a departed pet is one of the most important decisions a family will need to make. We know how much you will treasure the memories of your pets after they are gone. Here at Urns UK, we can offer you many choices to help to honour the life of your faithful friend. We offer urns of all sizes and

materials such as brass, wood and resin. Some of our sculpture urns are suitable to be kept indoors or outdoors. You may decide to scatter most of the ashes and retain a small portion in a keepsake memorial or a piece of jewellery. We offer many types of jewellery from actual paw prints through to infusing the ashes in the actual

47

piece. Sharing the ashes between family is also a popular choice, whereby each family member chooses a fitting keepsake urn to safely house the ashes The options are endless and at Urns UK and we are more than happy to help you find an urn as unique as the pet it will serve.


48


designed & arranged to reflect your memories. Chatting with me about your loved one can help, visualising how the house was always filled with fragrant freesias, that orange was their favourite colour, maybe they had a passion for garden roses, or their farming life may lead us to a corn filled wreath. I will take the time to listen to your stories that will allow me to sympathetically create a design that is deeply personal to you.

Floristry is about people, the flowers are just the stunning accomplice. Funeral flowers are special, our final gesture in a life lived. Our last goodbye, we love you, we’ll miss you, thank you for everything we were together‌ When choosing these flowers it can be difficult to know where to start. Some funeral directors have details of set designs that can make your decision making simpler. However for me I like to help you choose a tribute that is especially

49


KNEBWORTH HOUSE, BARNS & PARK KNEBWORTH BARNS • KNEBWORTH PARK • HERTFORDSHIRE • SG3 6PY

FUNERAL PACkAgES Minimum numbers apply.

to suit all budgets

The beauty and serenity of the setting here at Knebworth house is a natural choice to celebrate the life of someone close. The Barns provide an exclusive area to meet, set in the grounds of Knebworth Park and offers use of its 250 acres of parkland. Our team fully appreciate that this is an extremely difficult and stressful time for you and your family. We are sensitive to your situation and will sit down with you and make suggestions to help ease the burden and make sure things meet with your expectations. We have a wide range of packages to suit all budgets including fork and finger buffets but are more than happy to create something more tailored to your individual requirements.

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION OR TO MAKE A BOOKING, PLEASE CONTACT THE SALES TEAM ON 01438 813 825, OR yourevent@knebworthhouse.com

50


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cradle@earlypregnancyloss.co.uk Cradle is a national charitable organisation, providing early pregnancy loss services to the NHS for bereaved parents. Cradle launched its NHS service at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital baby loss conference on the 16th July 2019 and presented for the first time Cradle Comfort bags. Each comfort bag contains practical and beautiful things, however the most important item in the bag is the letter ‘Dear Friend’ The letter will immediately signpost Women from their hospital beds to support provided by Cradle ambassadors, who themselves have all experienced early pregnancy loss.

Alice Wright - Ambassador for Lister and Bedford Hospital

Cradle was founded by Louise Zeniou who lost her baby due to an Ectopic Pregnancy in 2015. Cradle today has a growing team of 30 early pregnancy loss ambassadors, providing a range of services to support anyone affected by the loss of a baby. Cradle has two local ambassadors Alice Wright and Tara Moverley. Alice is the Regional Cradle ambassador for Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire, and suffered a missed miscarriage in 2017. Alice carried her baby, unknowingly, for weeks after her baby had passed. At her scan Alice was told “your baby has no heartbeat”. Alice wants her loss to mean something and hopes to help anyone affected by baby loss. Contact Alice via Twitter: cradle_alice Facebook: Cradle: Beds & Herts. Tara had a miscarriage in 2013 and ectopic pregnancy in 2015.Tara joined Cradle so her losses have a purpose as well as raising awareness of Ectopic Pregnancy. Contact Tara via Twitter: CradleTara

Cradle Comfort Bag

51

Tara Moverly - Regional Ambassador for Luton & Dunstable Hospital & surrounding Trusts


At Hello Flower we understand how difficult it can be to organise funeral arrangements of a loved one. An experienced member of staff can offer guidance in helping you choose your individual flower arrangements from sprays to wreaths.

If you’re worried about a bereaved child or young person, call us.

Freephone National Helpline 08088 020 021

Hello Flower Florist & Gift Shop 66 Hitchin Road, Arlesey, SG15 6SA

01462 621507

winstonswish.org

www.hello-flower.co.uk

Winston’s Wish is a Registered Charity (England and Wales) 1061359, (Scotland) SC041140

Mindfulness, Self-Love, Self-Care, Social Connection, Strengths, Emotions, Goals/Learning, Purpose/Meaning, Mindset, Motivation, Gratitude/Kindness, Resilience. Bereavement is change which ripples out through all in life, even our youngest. Often, we need time to talk and explore our emotions and pathways forward. Our children and teenagers need this time too. 1:1 coaching can help young people understand their emotions and move mindfully around trauma onto growth. Positive Psychology approaches wellbeing from a different perspective. What do we have to feel grateful for, what are we already good at, what relationships do I have for my support network, and how can I use these to help myself and move forward positively? While working with children sessions are practical and playful. Children’s Courses and School Wellbeing Events also available. Ages 4 years (Reception) through to sixth form. Contact Catherine - Positive Psychology Practitioner MSc iMAPP - 07971 858346 chillyourbeansinfo@gmail.com - chill-your-beans.co.uk Free call to find out if coaching is right for you 52


Beautifully Designed andPrinted

FUNERAL ORDER OF SERVICE BOOKLETS Meadowview Media have been producing funeral order of service booklets for over 25 years, creating a bespoke & personal special keepsake, portraying the life of your dear lost loved ones. We also produce other funeral design products listed below. Order of Service Designed bespoke booklets with personal pictures and order of service, printed on quality card stock. Attendance Cards These can be left on seats for friends and family to sign their name. This helps you to know who attended the service. Thank You Cards Bespoke cards designed with your special message, thanking those who attended the service supplied with matching envelopes. Posters Mounted photo to display at the service & funeral reception.

For any further information or quotations please call: Meadowview Media Limited • t: 07931 512 253 e: gabbi@meadowviewmedia.com • www.meadowviewmedia.com 53


Useful Numbers... Samaritans: 116 123 (this number is FREE) Macmillan Cancer Support: 0800 107 4448 Citizens Advice Bureau: Letchworth 01462 411 1444 Citizens Advice Bureau: Luton 01582 731 616 Citizens Advice Bureau: Mid Bedfordshire 01767 601 368 Citizens Advice Bureau: North Herts & District 0845 688 9897 Cruse Bereavement Care: www.cruse.org.uk www.hopeagain.org.uk 0808 808 1677 Gingerbread: www.gingerbread.org.uk 0808 802 0925 Turn2Us: www.turn2us.org.uk Garden House Hospice: 01462 679540 Keech children’s hospice: 01582 492339 Hertfordshire Coroners Service: 01707 292707 Lister Hospital Bereavement Service: 01438 284208 / 288463 / 284185 Organ Donation Registration: 0300 123 23 23 Alzheimer’s Society: 0300 222 1122 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 or www.ageuk.org.uk/homeandcare Carepod: www.carepod.co.uk or 0843 479 0130 Care Quality Commission: www.cqc.org.uk/ Find Me Good Care: www.findmegoodcare.co.uk Mind: www.mind.org.uk 0300 123 3393 or Text 86463 Calm: 0800 58 58 58 www.thecalmzone.net Julie New Personal Recovery Coach: www.julienew.co.uk julie@julienew.co.uk Chill Your Beans: 07971 858346 chillyourbeansinfo@gmail.com East & North Herts Hospitals’ Charity: www.enhhcharity.org.uk 01438 285182 Winston's Wish: Freephone 08088 020 021 or winstonswish.org Cradle: cradle@earlypregnancyloss.co.uk 54


S TEVENAGE GOLF & CONFERENCE CENTRE

Stevenage Golf & Conference Centre offers a warm and welcoming venue for funeral wakes and receptions to celebrate the memory of a loved one. The Centre is set in beautiful countryside around the village of Aston with close proximity to Harwood Park and boasts excellent parking facilities and a seated patio area that offers panoramic views of the Golf Course and surrounding picturesque countryside.

We have a choice of buffets or alternatively our Chef will be happy to provide menus that are tailored to your personal taste. If you would like to view our rooms and discuss your requirements further please do not hesitate to contact us on:

01438 880 223

With personal empathy and unique attention to detail our dedicated team offer a warm, friendly, sensitive and adaptable planning service that is designed to make this difficult time a little easier. We have two rooms, our John Jacobs Room is light and airy with views over the patio and golf course. For a more intimate wake our Champions Gallery offers a warm and cosy space.

Stevenage Golf & Conference Centre Aston Lane, Stevenage, Herts SG2 7EL jane.watts@sll.co.uk 55


Personal, caring and independent. The complete funeral service 224 4 hhour our sservice ervice

Private P i C Chapels h l off R Rest

Memorial Stonemasons

Funeral Plans

Own Crematorium ST EV EN AG E • 01438 316623 H IT CHIN • 01462 438422 KNEBWO RTH • 01438 812365 BU NT IN G FO RD • 01763 274111 WELWYN GARDEN CITY • 01707 390018 WELWYN • 01438 714686 H E RT FORD • 01992 582052 WARE • 01920 468551 LET C H WORTH • 01462 684292

www.austins.co.uk

Harwood Park

The perfect setting to commemorate the life of your loved one

Crematorium and memorial gardens created and managed by the Austin family in the beautiful Hertfordshire countryside.

www.crematorium.co.uk

56 Serving the local community for ten generations

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The Bereavement Companion  

The Bereavement Companion magazine is an all- encompassing, bespoke guide filled with useful information on what to do when bereavement occu...

The Bereavement Companion  

The Bereavement Companion magazine is an all- encompassing, bespoke guide filled with useful information on what to do when bereavement occu...

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