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Hello and welcome to my compilation of the funniest feedback left for others on internet auction websites. I have spent hours minutes searching for these gems, some of which will have you rolling around on the floor, whilst others will have you you scratching your head in bewilderment. As hard as it may seem to believe, these are all genuine cases of feedback left for others. So take a deep breath and launch yourself into the weird and wonderful world of feedback. But be warned, it is 79 pages long long so you may need a break or 3. Enjoy it Rob Chiverton

p.s. Any usernames mentioned do not include the full username and have asterisks (*) to replace the missing letters or numbers. This is to protect the innocent (or guilty!!!)

Excellent DVD - even better when I remembered to turn the sound up.

Great Buyer ,Fast Payment, a Sellers dream! (1 Corinthians 1:18)

My girlfriend was asleep in minutes with this brill piece of work - thanks

If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn

Buyer had great legs and knew how to use them.


DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES!! great buyer, would trade again A+

Thanx 4 FINALLY giving me my wedding ring back, when are the auctions for the kids?

Excellent eBayer, very fast payment, I love him and wish he would come back home

User lied about girth. I haven't been able to sit down for a week. A+

Trapped me in web of lies, ruining my marriage & credit. Would trade again A++++

Respected me for who I was - not just for my body!

DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF PALESTINE!!!!! But otherwise great seller.

It really does look like a flashlight, and I could hardly tell it was used!

Biggest ferret I ever saw in clarinet; muffles sound but pleases children


Great sense of humour! Sending me a dead pet instead of a DVD! HAHAHA!!

Seller reversed paypal charges.... no wait that was me. GREAT DEAL!!!!!

Monitor arrived as described. I enjoy my 19" wall of radiation!!

Item arrived heavy. It must have enlarged while entering Texas.

Thank you. I'm on a low carburettor diet so this works to my benefit.

Thanks! My car is still a pile of junk but this book helps!!

Hope you like the toy. It's neither a gorilla, nor an alien. Discuss.

Had to wait for a kidney stone to clear before processing payment.

Most buyers say "Will buy from again" but it's all lies, except with this guy.


You touched me like no other buyer has. I'm filing charges for stealing my heart

Not sure WHY you bought this. It belongs in a bad art museum.

Midgets are scary and I hope you are not one of them.

Hope you enjoy the bad toys. Burning them would be fun.

Do not use Zip drive in the shower. You're good people.

Paid pretty perplexingly prompt per paypal!

TV Remote arrived. Not that I watch TV, but I like to know that I can use it.

Thanks for the monitor! Couldn't leave this feedback with out it. A+

Overly Prompt payment. I wasn't prepared for it. I'm more of a man now. Thanks.


I hope you have minutes of enjoyment from this painting.

Again, I hope you enjoy everything. Thanks a ten, or million, whatever.

I hope you like it. Live long without phosphates or prosper. I'm confused.

Professionalism, shessionalism. This guy paid me. He pays man. yeah. Good guy.

Prompt payment from a really swell guy. My brother would do business with again.

Thanks for buying the toy car. I'm throwing in the clumps of dust as a bonus!!

Paid on time, has a bunk email address, and he smells like a wet stamp.

Thanks for the manual. Too bad I bought a stolen 4 wheeler and it's gone now.

Lightning fast payment. I swear I heard thunder when it went through.


Fast payment. hope you like the item. Make a shrine with them or something.

Quick shipping, will buy from again Reply: Does it have to be something you want or will you just buy anything from me?

I got it. thanks. sorry for the delay in feedback. your patience is appreciated Reply: 5 years from now, you better be still appreciative of my patience.

He even sent the Shroud of Turin! I used it & now I have Jesus all over my face! Reply: Yes. Jesus is coming so grab your mop and towel folks.

Fast Pay. No Drama. I think I will name my next child after this buyer!

Just as advertised and shipped fast! I will shave my head and worship seller.

good deal Reply: NO! Great deal! Well for me anyway; you got some trash and I got some cash.

When I see you floating down the gutter, I'll give you a bottle of wine.


Your mangos are in the mail, along with the cat for you to "take care of."

Thanx for sending fast payment. But you didn't buy anything. I will send fish.

Uses teeth for GOOD not EVIL! All of them! Even that one way at the BACK!

Good transfusion...only took what blood he needed..what a great guy A+++

Three cheese burgers what a suprise all I ordered was a coke and fries.

The door was great...but whenever I use it I end up in Gary's cellar...HELP!

If I ever catch you in my bed again, I'll kick you out right then and there. Freak

You send a good frish, Mice Man. Preese send more frish to house. Sank you.

STAYS on his LEASH!!! WHINES to be let OUT!!! MAN'S best FRIEND!!!


Does NOT reveal classified government SECRETS!!! Brushes ALL his TEETH!!!

EATS all his VEGETABLES!!! Pleases his MOTHER!!! Takes out the GARBAGE!!!!

I lost my toy car in a sandbox once. Was it you?

I'm so glad you're not my daddy.

Ulysses is the best eBayer this week! He retains liquids for more than 3 hours!

If a tree falls on a car, and nobody likes fried chicken, am I a toy soldier?

May I swing on your jingle-jangling, oh so dangling bells?

I wish I could punch you in your fat bum! You're so tough, you'd still bid high!


Aren't you dead? It's SCANDALOUS of you to bid while currently dead.

I almost bid on your auction until I realized you were a decoy.

Tomorrow is not another day. It is the same day, but at a different time.

My tongue is stuck in my zipper!!! Can you help me?

I hope you're not from Argentina, because I've heard it's hot there. And South.

Once I had a fork that looked like a spoon. I called it a spoon. Was I wrong?

You are a carrot. However, I am not a potato. Ha, you are too slow.

Forget lactation! You made my child instantly pass the breast-feeding stage!

Have you found my jellybeans? I left them in your basement. Don't eat them!


I know you have my pants, because they're the only pair I own. Give them back!

There's nothing but love going through this keyboard.

I love to cook potatoes. They go wherever I go. Yes, I love to cook potatoes-Oh! Reply: I will bid on your potatoes, then I'll have you in my clutches! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Who the hell are you?! Why am I leaving feedback for you?

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME jazztime**** Great seller! Who cared for me when I was sick? You got it - jazztime did.

Great guy. Outstanding physique, extremely polite, very handy around house.

Has intestinal FORTITUDE!!! Eats PORTIONED meals!!! Enjoys NOURISHMENT!!!

I'll bid on you til there's nothing left but crumbs! Then I'll bid on the crumbs

Corn on the cob is nice, because the cob never shouts GET ME BEER, WOMAN!


Turn onto LaFayett St. and park. Get out. Run as fast as you can. Then hide.

The box you sent was open-proof. I had to use a BIG KNIFE and act MENACING. Bad!

If you can guess 3 of the foods in my retainer, I'll send you a free VEGETABLE.

Rainbows are pretty. I don't know why I shoot at them.

Uses only nice, ROUND numbers, like $10 and $12. NOT $73.98

Santa brought me cookies for Christmas. I did not eat them. I sold them on eBay.

I'm originally from Japan. Becky rhymes with vegetable drawer in Japanese.

I am the walrus. I type using my flippers. Hee.

Whatchu say? You call me on da telephones and talkin SMACK about me? No no no!


Millenia ago your merchandise roamed free. I didn't bid then and I won't now.

Would you like a bowl of soup? Of course not. See?

Quack, Quack. I'm a duck. Shoot me.

I like my cars like I like my women - fast and expensive! Then I leave them.

I'm eating a helicopter, I mean a hamburger. Did you send this? DELECTABLE!

Say hello to Barbara for me. I've been watching her at night.

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME HUCKAPO***** Huckapo! That sounds revolting! I feel like spitting and washing my mouth now!

Good kitty/fish. Nice kitty/fish. Just stay right there... GOTCHA!


Remember when you spat in my mouth when I was sleeping? Well, I was awake. A+

REWARDING transaction! Sanitary, too !!!

Tub o jelly, 12 gallon belly, greasy layers, oh so smelly. VERY ENTICING.

Crabs and seagulls live on shores. I hope that doesn't make you ugly. We love u

I bet nobody tells YOUR bones what to do! Nobody Jones, that's who! ...What?

Rotilla is a GOOD name for my wife. Don't call her "Hey, STUMPY" again. EVER.

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME BEACHBABE***** I know where you have sand.

I was staring. You are majestic. You could be a lion and walk in tall grass.


Frogs in the backseat, hop, hop, hop. You're in the front seat, you're a cop!

I bid on your items and lost. Why should I even bother? I'll be outbid again. Boo

Your items carry HARMFUL DISEASES and VIRUSES. I think. I'm pretty sure. RARE! A+

All you do is fly around eBay. Go do something productive. Slacker.

There was NO REASON for you to call my house and yell at my children. Still, A+

I was once told that HOTDOGS are the foods of CHAMPIONS. Then I tripped and fell

My sister is almost as stone-dead as you, but not by much. RELIABLE & SAFE!

Gangrenous, festering, malignant bidder. How I loathe thee. Repulsive, but GREAT!

I was going to leave feedback, but the window's open and now I'm cold. Sorry? No!


I would rather be SLAUGHTERED for BEEF than forbidden to bid on your ITEMS!

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME earthbaby**** Has INTEGRITY! Refuses to live on the MOON! Retains his SANITY!

When I hear "George," I IMMEDIATELY think of your name - George.

Tony Two Toes! We went to school together! You stepped on a landmine! Remember?

Bubbley Gum, Bubbley Gum. If you chew it all day, your mouth feels numb!

Crustaceans live in the ocean. You're not like them!

When I open boxes of cereal, you should be inside. Yes, you're THAT GOOD!

Alice asked me to make you this sandwich. Here it is. I don't know. Ask her.

I am a robot. I bid on grease and computer chips.


Car won't start? Sell it on eBay. We won't know the difference. We're like that.

My dentist has one eye. You're so much better than that!

My kitten-cat is FRISKY. At night she sleeps in the microwave. I think it's cute!

I've carefully avoided typing the number 6 for 32 years now. Times change I guess.

Vermin and lice, vermin and lice. I say it once, and I say it twice.

If you sell cereal and milk separately, I will bid! Otherwse, it will get soggy.

I forbid you to wear the blue sock! HEED MY COMMAND!!!!!

Only the tops of trees grow.

1,2 buckle my shoe. 3,4 buckle my shoe. 5,6 buckle my shoe.


Enjoys WALKS thru the PARK! Greets MAPLE TREES with a smile!

Don't tell her, but Barry Manilow is spelled with an i, not an e. Thanx!!

Come to the trough. Feed on what's inside. No reserve. C'mon. It's waiting.

Pleasant smelling. Friendly.

Prompt, yet VAGUELY malodorous. Will CERTAINLY do more business. Has POOL!

I am fat. I have no goals. I have developed a smell. Please kill me. Thanks Mary!

You need NEW ARABIC FONTS. Huyawoo Huyawoo. (only cuz you deserve the best)

Auctions are tools of the Devil. Raise your reserve before he bids on your soul!


I'm sweaty. Are you sweaty? I smell MUSK.

The Pope bought his Pope Hat on eBay. You didn't know that, did u? OUTSTANDING!

When life gives you a lemon, put it on eBay and I will bid on it.

Not sure, but I think you peed on the stuff you sent. My dog keeps smelling it.

I was impressed by your TECHNIQUE. You sell and I bid. Very KEEN. Have my baby.

Celebrate the 30th anniversary of George Washington with me today! Bid on him!

I flew a plane in Switzerland. What did you do? Sat here bidding, didn't you!

You're 15 genes short of HUMAN. But I mean that in a good eBay way. Yes I do!

Happy little dove, how do you fly? No! Don't poop on my car!


Great transaction... Oh, I gotta go! A triceratops just crashed into my house!

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME WHO*** Knock knock. Who's there? Feedback. Feedback who? Feedback Who.

You are Barry Manilow! I know you are! I can hear you singing! Reply: O Andy, you came & you left without paying.

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME diet coke**** Refreshing you are. Delicious too! Rot my teeth you will. But I drink you still.

Tender Jill, how delicate you look in these photos. Oh, sorry. Wrong Jill!

Everybody Wang Chung tonight!

Crave what I have. Simper and beg. Feed you crumbs I will.

For some strange reason everything you sold me was illegal. Then I got shot. A+

Fascinating and wondrous is what you are. TWINKLES! Doesn't need SOAP!


You are much shorter than I would have guessed. Whose fault is that?

An eBayer with MORALITY. Never cheated on tests at school. I KNOW!

WEARS CLOTHES SNUGLY. Reads at a COLLEGE level! Uses BALLPOINT pens!

Braids his own HAIR. Does a METICULOUS job. Yesirree. YESIRREE.

Has a MYSTERIOUS TINGLY itch on lower left LEG. Otherwise, a SAINT!

Well MANICURED. Has VOLUPTUOUS POUTY lips. DEFINITION of class!

Very CHARITABLE. Donates money to many WORTHY causes. Has INNER BEAUTY.

FREAKY! Seller is FANTASTIC, but, somehow, REALLY DOESN'T EXIST AT ALL!

I need to MOW the LAWN today. INCREDIBLE! RISKY! Can I do it? Yes, thanks to you


LEMON-FLAVORED! This seller contains yellow number 4! I LOVE yellow number 4!

ROSY CHEEKS! My parents always told me rosy cheeks get high bids.

OBSERVANT. Knows where everything is. I call him Ted. Short for Tedrick.

Is HUMAN. Has increased capacity for REASONING. Not a MONKEY...HAS BRAINS...

FRISKY! Full of energy. I know who you're thinking: Not Pat. Yes, Pat!

I am new in America! Thank you eBay for wonderful wife! I will beat her often! Reply: You're Very Welcome.

My pet alligator is eating the crud you sold me. I hope you both encrustulate.

3 times in the last week I've soiled myself. YOU tell ME why.

If you were in the middle of a forest and got lost, would I still bid? YES!


I think about our transactions and how we bid so very deeply.

What's orange, brown, black, and red? Give up? They're COLOURS, stupid!

Is this feedback? I hope so, because if anyone deserves feedback, YOU DO.

If God was round, would that change anything? You're still great! A++++

Uncle Gravy once ate me.

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME sealevel*** Helicopters fly too high to bid on your items.

Why did you call your mum a furry, black ball of neutrons?

I am a car. I go vroom. Please put gas in me.


Nothing beats home cookin' except for your tremendous selling/buying experience!

Scrumptious deal! Oooeee! Sell it to me again! Yeah! Can you fly a helicopter?

God dammit! You have a big, fat flab-mo-chunk-behind.

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME God**** I threw an egg at you once, but it didn't hit you. I really meant it though!

I would like to shake your hand. I do not have any arms, though. I'm sad now.

Smooth transaction! I just wish you didn't smack my kid.

My dad was named Zack. He hit me. You never did. I like you more, in fact.

I bet when you were born, you sold something right away. You're SUPERB!


If I ever buy anything from a Zack, it will be YOU, mister! YOU! You're great!

I named my goldfish Zack, cuz you're so great. I only feed him onions now.

Fast shipping. Polite responses. Has all his teeth. Doesn't beat his wife.

Aliens will kill everyone but you. You are the best person on Ebay! You are God.

Butter tastes so good on bread. I enjoyed the sample you sent. I didn't share.

Don't hit me with that board like I was some kind of dolphin. Thanks. A++.

Thank you so much for the lovely deli-style pickle. Very juicy and crisp.

Thank you so much for the cola beverage. I drank it right away. The mailman saw me.

Arrrr. Swab the deck or walk the plank. It's your choice, matee. Arrr.


"Fiend!! Back to your cave!!" Also, you are a great ebayer!

Wow! This has to be the ROUNDEST coin I've EVER seen! Quite impressed. Thanks.

OW, MY FOOT! Look what you did to my foot! You mangled it! Yes, you did...A+!

If you could fit this man in a bottle... Wow. Just wow. He'd sell twice as much.

This guy is so great, I just wish I could live inside him and nibble his kidneys.

I ordered a car picture, but you sent me a live tuna fish! Great! I can eat it!

Exactly as described, well packaged, recommended Reply: Actually, I am rather well packaged, even if I say so myself.

Arrived from France in 3 days - impressive. Goods as stated. Reply: France ain't far you know. Its just that the postal workers move very slowly.


If Carlsberg did feedback it would not be any better than this man's

I WANT YOUR CLOTHES YOUR BOOTS AND YOUR MOTORCYCLE ASTA LA VISTA BABY Reply: Help, it's the Terminator!!! GET BACK IN YOUR VAT OF MOLTEN STEEL PUNK!!!

Hope to deal with you again. Thank you. Reply: OK, Lets take a look at what you could have won....

QUICK TO PAY ON THE WAYAAAA+++++++ Reply: Nice rhyme! You should ask Puff Daddy if you can do backing vocals for him.

Excellent Reply: 3 months to leave a one-word feedback! SHARPEN UP, MAN!

WARNING! KEEP THIS SELLER CLOSED AT ALL TIMES AND ONLY USE HIM IN AN EMERGENCY.

SMOOTH TRANSACTION. WOULD DO BUSINESS AGAIN Reply: Generous attitude, considering I gave him a 'free' neg! HA HA HA

I'd rather SLAM MY TACKLE IN THE POST OFFICE DOOR than deal with this guy again.


GREAT SALE IN ALL RESPECTS, CHEERS MATE & GOOD LUCK WITH THE SOLVENT ABUSE REHAB

Generally I try to avoid ginger folk at all costs, but this guy is SOUND.

HOUSTON - WE HAVE A PROBLEM. No we don't. We do like. Not. Hello?

quick payment a+ Reply: Dullest feedback comment yet! KEEP IT UP

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME legless*** I cant prove it but I suspect this guy actually HAS got some legs.

fast payment, good communication, friendly ebayer, thanks Reply: Yeah cheers love. Put the kettle on would you?

fast payment, good communication, friendly ebayer, thanks Reply: Is that washing-up done yet or what? Honestly, dont know why I bother, etc etc.

If there's somethin strange in yo neighbourhood, who ya gonna call? This guy obviously


Excellent fast payment A+++++++++++++++ Reply: 15 A plus's, not bad eh? PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT.

The 'Guantanamo Bay' of Ebay shops.

prompt payment thanks Reply: You're welcome love. Fancy going out for a drink sometime?

Cant stand it mate. worst CD I ever bought. HOWIE B is An idiot. Good sale though.

Item delivered to my neighbours house - by 300lb Stinger missile! EXCELLENT!

SMOOTH TRANSACTION. MANY THANKS. RECOMMENDED Reply: Knock your caps lock off man, folk like you are making my feedback page look shoddy.

Top Ebayer, Highly Recomended, Thank You Very Much xx Reply: cracking bum on this seller.

fast payment excellent ebayer highly recommended A+ Reply: Amazingly, I made a full recovery after this transaction & can now walk again.


Faultless transaction - a pleasure to deal with - nice haircut too!!!

Top quality trading - I nearly wet myself it was THAT good!!!!

Trade with this guy - he will make you STRONG!!

If this transaction were a country, it would be the good 'ol US of A

HABSORUTERY BRIRRIANT!

Top service - NICE TAIL !!!!!!!!!

So well packaged I had to call the bomb squad out to open it! AMAZING

Amazing trumpets! SERVICE GREAT TOO!!!!


Top notch - the levers are more beautiful than my mother. Top service too!

Buyers hair was charged with too much static electricity. Shocking! Reply: SHUT IT, FATHEAD Follow-up: Buyer tried to break into my house! Legal proceedings are now under way

quick and easy transaction - recommended - happy to supply to anytime Reply: Cheers! A signed photograph (of my bum) is on it's way to you. YO!

During sale, seller whooped like a one-eyed meths-addled space nut junkie. ACE!

Top 'classic' car freak and purchaser of nuclear bunkers!

Excellent ebayer on a tricky purchase Reply: I wouldn't say my mother-in-law was ugly, but the last time, etc......

Nice dress! Did you sew the sequins on yourself?" "No, just on the dress"

Can you smell onions?" "No." "What, not even when theyre really close?" "TAXI"


Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme! Reply: No, they've run out, I'll try at the car boot sale

Eddie are you OK, are you OK, are you OK Eddie? etc. Lovely.

Never met this guy, but his Mrs is quite fit. Thanks!

I GEEVE YOU TWOO CAMELS FOR YOUR WIFE SEテ前R! EH???

NO BALL GAMES - BY ORDER

Good eBayer - Car as discribed, Thanks Reply: Car described as 'Pile of junk' by my neighbours. Cheers

Top Communication - Fast Payer - Top eBayer Thanx :o)) Reply: SHUT UP

Who's that gut lord marching! You should cut down on your porklife mate!!!! etc.


I'll have the soup to start, then the salmon terrine, thanks. OOOOFFF! My spine!

Enthusiastic bloke, top payer. Reply: YEAH WHATEVER.

Paid same day - excellent buyer, many thanks Reply: I paid the same day, and bought excellently. this lad is telling you the FACTS.

What a hero. Even gave me dad a cup of tea! You cant ask for any more than that!

I HATE TRAFFIC POLICE !!!

Once had a love, & it was a gas - soon turned out, had a heart of glass etc etc

I AM OZYMANDIAS, KING OF KINGS, LOOK UPON MY WORKS YE MIGHTY, & DESPAIR!

Payment received OK Reply: Gordon bennett, cheer up!


Help, I think I've left the iron on...!

This man is crazy !! I haven't disappeared but Manchester isn't near Paris...

Excellent.. This lad is one ugly bloke though. Looks like that plonker Shearer Reply: Honestly, what a cheek. I am gonna lamp him.

Messy garden, needs to get some new turf down and smarten it up a bit.

Lives an awful long way away from me. Too far really, to be honest with you.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS GUY'S FACE

Easy transaction. Clearly a rampant southern jumper-wearing poncy twat however.

Won item, promised to collect, then vanished. Avoid. Typical garlic muncher.


"ONLY HIP-HOP CAN SAVE US NOW"

Good, wholesome, nuggety seller. A+++

FEEDBACK LEFT FOR USERNAME standtallman*** SELLER STOOD TALL & PROUD LIKE A BEACON OF HOPE TO THOSE SUFFERING FEAR & DESPAIR

YO SISTA! GET ON THAT TRAIN OF REPENTANCE BEFORE IT LEAVES YO' STATION!

ARE YOU FEELIN' THE HEALIN'? YEAH! COME ON!!! REACH OUT FOR THE LORD I TELL YUH!

BOGUS 'LANDFILL PASSION CRIME' SUBVERTS SUBURBAN UTOPIA - THOUSANDS JOBLESS!

Item arrived quickly, so, you know, glory be to god in the highest for that.

RIP. Tupac 'Dr Puff Biggy' Smalls, 1757-1996. It's kinda har' witchu not aroun'.


Great buyer. So good I accidentally shafted myself for £10 on the shipping cost.

From Paris to Berlin, and every disco I get in, my heart is PUMPIN' FOR LUURVE

“Word up!” everybody say - when you hear the call you gotta get it under way.

Buyer paid rapidly with ‘ThievingscumPal’ - excellent jorb!

Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet – just a man and his will to survive

Item never received. Apart from that, perfect transaction.

So I paid with like, paypal, Y'know? And he was just kinda like "Okay what-ever"

FAST PAYER. GREAT BAYER. LEO SAYER.


Sporadic shelling and sniper fire near sellers home did not delay transaction A+

Item arrived, very well packaged, in GENUINE HUMAN SKIN! Superb!

yes...yes...YES....OH...YESSSS - OH, MY GOD YESSS- AAAAAGGHHH! Very good indeed. Reply: I think it's time for a cigarette!! Follow-up: ZZZZZzzzzzz……..snore……..zzzzzzz…. etc.

Lovely, pert sale. Firm and pink with just a hint of ‘bounce’. Magnificent.

A+ USA Ebayer! If you want lawsuits, high school shootings etc, look ELSEWHERE.

Yes'day. I was walkin' through the hood. An' I seen somethin'... an' it hurt me.

Delivah this thro' yo audio, ghetto mafioso, grow hydro, bag it up yo.

PLAYED HARD KEPT IT TIGHT OUT BACK & LANDED A GOOD RESULT AT THE END OF THE DAY.


Nice seller - seemed VERY clean at the time of sale.

Absolutely NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER from this seller. Total load of junk. Reply: Have a look at this person's feedback and draw your own conclusions. Follow-up: Yes, feel free to look at my 126 positive feedbacks at any time.

Helpful, tolerant and in fact, very attractive seller! Will go far! A+

It was after winning THIS item, that I began regularly self-harming. Good sella.

THE POAST MAN BRORT THE ITEM TOO MY HOUS WEAR I LIV. THANKS

"Hello?" "Yeh its me. I wanna give you some good frequencies." "Go on." "170..." Follow-up: "...2042...64...400..." "400?" "Yeah." "Right, I'm comin' over." "Do that."

Sella delivered item himself, arriving in an amazing 40ft motorised tin whelk!

Only one word can accurately describe this seller: “YAH MO B THERE”!!


“Like a circle in a spiral…..like an egg on Rod Hull’s face…” etc. GREAT SELLER

SPEEEED DEMONNNN! Pull over boy an' git yo' ticket right!!! Yowwwww! ACE SELLER!

OPEN THE DOOR GET ON THE FLOOR EVERYBODY DO THE DINOSAUR! IT'S WAS (NOT WAS)

'SPACE-SEX DISCO AUCTION FUNK-JOCKEY' FOR THE NEW GENERATION.

He said 'Captain!' I said 'What'. He said 'Captain!' I said 'What?' Follow-up: He said 'Captain!' I said 'What!!' He said 'Captain!' I said 'WHAT D'YOU WANT!!'

Seller claimed to be vegetarian but was caught scoffing a big mac during sale!!

Good item, price etc but BOWEL-SHATTERINGLY SLOW delivery. 6 weeks!

Even better than meeting Tommy Vance on a Hoseasons holiday. A+


THE NEXT 4 LINES WERE LEFT AS 4 SEPARATE FEEDBACKS FOR THE SAME PERSON WILL IT BE CHIPS OR JACKET SPUDS? WILL IT BE SALAD? OR FROZEN PEAS? WILL IT BE MUSHROOMS???? FRIED ONION RINGS? YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE. A+

FAST delivery X²+3X+2=4 solve that then.

BRING THY CHILDREN UNTO ME AND THEY SHALT BE 'REPAIRED' (Derek 4:19)

'DAMN I wish I was your lover'. What a great song that was.

You got big dreams. You want fame. Well - fame costs.... Follow-up: ...And right here's where you start paying - IN SWEAT!!!!!

A+ USA SELLA. However I'm giving a 'protest neg' over illegal US-led Iraq war.

"Is this guy a good seller?" IS J-LO A TALENTLESS BAGGY-4RSED WAILING BINT? YES!

A seller of such stature, the Nobel Peace Prize surely beckons.


"RELENTLESSLY EFFECTIVE"

HASSLE FREE SALE. I GAVE SELLA SOME HASSLE, FREE OF CHARGE.

GLOWING RED HOT SPUDS OF LOVE. TREMENDOUS.

Good seller! Although reminiscent of 'Zammo' out of Grange Hill.

YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! RIDE 'EM COWBOY! BAKED BEANZ SELLA!!!!!

DVD BOUGHT IN GOOD FAITH - TURNS OUT TO BE A PIRATE COPY. PIKEY SELLER Reply :- didn't know anything about DVD COPY? mate,no copy on ebay,be wise Follow-up: SELLER IS GUILTIER THAN LEE HARVEY OSWALD.

The "Burton's Wagon Wheels" of sellers! What does this mean? I do not know.

"SOUP" - erb!!!!!!


'Fuel saver max'? 20BHP 'power chip'? WORTHLESS TAT 4 SACKLESS GULLIBLE PLONKERS.

mounting lug woz bust off, but lamp unit in better nick than my old one, so OK. Reply: This was described as a second hand item Follow-up: good job it was too! Or I would have negged your ass right outta town.

NICE ONE - Here's your 'free feedback' mate!!!!! HA HA HA! GET A JOB! Reply: ITEM WAS FREE OF CHARGE. WHY LEAVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK? Follow-up: FOR A LAUGH. THAT'S LIFE KID. GET OVER IT.

Item delivered - WHILE I WAS ON HOLIDAY!!!!! AMAZING!!!

GREAT ITEM GREAT SELLER GREAT PACKING GREAT SCOTT WHO LET THESE GOATS IN HERE

CAUTION: THIS SELLER IS A JOCK

GREAT SELLA, NO PONCING AROUND LIKE SOME OF THEM

At only 250g, easily one of the lightest sellers on the bay. GOOD WORK


As they say in Italy: BELLA SELLA! & justa wan cornetto, spaghetti, Dolmio etc

Gold medal service?' This seller merits a PEARL NECKLACE any day of the week.

Seller carefully weighed before and after sale: no serious discrepancy found.

NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A SELLER - VOLUME 198

GREAT SERVICE, but item was a bit useless - info is already on a speed camera website Reply: Err I dont think so! This an 80 page book - not an advertising web site! Follow-up: Quote: 'Try to stay below the limit when driving in an unfamiliar area' – Useful !!!

BUSTY NAKED LESBIAN WARRIOR VAMPIRE SELLER OF DOOM! TERRIFIC! Ebay needs more! Follow-up: Sorry, my mistake - seller is in fact NOT 'Xena warrior princess'. Apologies.

EAR BIDDER - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!

This lad quite literally BEAT OFF ANOTHER BIDDER in order to secure item!


Item quite literally CAME THROUGH MY LETTERBOX shortly after payment.

remarkably, item took a NEGATIVE AMOUNT OF TIME to arrive Follow-up: N.B. If you are Stephen Hawking, I invite you to disprove the above statement. Reply: I'M AFRAID I'M NOT STEVE HARDING,CHEERS

Ace bayer. A true 'BAY ICON'. In fact I would even say, a '100% RAGING BAYLORD'.

No feedback/contact/payment, no idea, SACKLESS FAT BIDDER- AVOID Follow-up: Wisely, bidders contact details are false, so I'm unable to napalm-gas his home.

Seller successfully convinced me to give up crime - FOREVER.

GREAT supplier of weapons-grade uranium 234. (and dance/house compilation CD's)

GREAT! item arrived in 4 days, not bad considering it came from URANUS

Item fired from 8" cannon, thro' the front of my house seconds after payment.


seller confirmed no children or animals were maimed during transaction Follow-up: Seller later admitted 2 goats HAD been slightly injured, but had recovered OK.

MOST TOAST POSTED FROM COAST TO COAST - WWW.TOASTBYPOST.CO.UK

Ace packing - item suffered only minor charring during re-entry to earths atmosphere!

Move over Peter Sellers & Monica Seles, - here's the new 'king of sellers'

Item parachuted into my yard by Russian fighter jet, moments after payment - ACE!

MEGA! I think it's safe to say this seller does NOT have a ÂŁ300/day crack habit.

YEAH YEAH YEAH, heard it all before.

EXCUSE ME, I'M MICHAEL WINNER. MICHAEL WINNER? YES THATS RIGHT - MICHAEL WINNER.


ITEM ARRIVED SO QUICKLY I NEARLY WET MYSELF.

MENTAL, seller sent goods before I had even been born.

PHEW WHAT A SCORCHER

I will leave feedback later. Reply: No,leave it now! Follow-up: Right, stuff you, I'm not leaving any now!

DID YOU SPILL MY PINT? Follow-up: Lets solve this outside eh?

TOTALLY RELIABLE,GREAT EBAY CONTACT,USE THEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Follow-up: Use but don't abuse, I am not a telephone box.

I NEVER LEAVE FEEDBACK.

Do I look like I'm made out of wood?


Seller was extradited to Spain on war crimes charges before sale was completed.

TOP BAYER, much better than your average Welshman

'My name's Friday". 'D'you take a lot of kidding about that? Almost never

This program has performed an illegal operation and will shut down, etc.

OOH, I COULD CRUSH A GRAPE……

"Its been emotional"

WHICH WAY TO THE ALLOTMENTS ME LADS

Les champignons sont sur le table. Zut Alors, trés bon Ebay pommes de terre. Follow-up: AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!! CALL SECURITY!!!


a man of few words, but the purchase went well enough.

Hes a nice man, a very nice man, a very very nice man

TOP LAD, polite, prompt payer. Lives in Cornwall, we can't have it all !!!!!!!!!!!

TOP LAD # NO MESSING # HE DID EXACTLY WHAT IT SAID ON HIS TIN Reply: After you, other men are mere mortals!

Sold his car to me after I won it in an online auction. Fair enough.

The oohmegooleybird is born without legs and known for its cry upon landing.

I would definitely do business with you again! Thx for all your help! Reply: I'm afraid we will be far too busy milking the croissants.

She makes me eat all my greens but I'd rather chew on a Conservative.


Great e-bayer! issued prompt refund for lost items!! Reply: In future we will put US bound items into bottles and throw them into the Atlantic

Soon I will fulfill my ambition to be the 1st potato into space.

item as described, very happy thanks Reply: item was always very happy despite its psycotic episodes.

tap dancing, a way to burn off calories and look stupid

Tapeworm, every fat person should own one

Good seller so reluctantly I released his wife and children

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours penguin

I volunteered to deliver meals on wheels but they wont let me use my deathstar.


It may only have one eye but boy you dont want to make it angry !

Lovely item except for the incident with the marrow and Aunt Maud

Buyers addiction to sucking garage air lines proved dangerous

I had a session with my personal trainer. Everytime he said sit I bit him.

The instantaneosity of your instant payment has left me permanently bewildered. Reply: The intensity of your instant coffee has left me permanently braindamaged.

We have nice children. 3 are strawberry flavour and 1 cajun spicy grasshopper.

Bootiful. Like popping Bernard Matthews into a pre heated oven.

I tried iron tablets for my tiredness but then developed METAL fatique.


Item was in breach of local fashion bylaws and was immediately exiled.

Grope an ebayer if you spot them in the post office queue next to you

OK A+++++++++ NO PROBLEM SERIOUS AND FAST Reply: You just made my hearing aid explode !

Thanks Man, dem is very cute hangers, and dey got here soo fast. Reply: Our new range of portable gallows are sprinkled with glitter for extra cuteness.

nice item, well packaged .thank you Reply: On arrival the aircraft carrier appeared larger than the photo had suggested.

Beautiful and an absolute bargain! Cheers! Reply: It was one of our more successful genetic experiments, a goodlooking bladder

Remember a porpoise is for life not just for bathtime.

Let he who is not slim cast the first scone......

excellent seller would use again thanks Reply: Yes, please re-use your seller as land fill sites are in short supply


Full throttle delivery. The engine ran on holy spirits. Reply: If I'd known that I'd have drained & drank the petrol tank and walked to the Post Office

Hell yeah, perfect, I'm very happy with this deal Reply: We wonder if you will be so happy when you unwrap it and find the mother in law

If dissatisfied with your gospel choir please return it in the envelope provided.

Good to see our new teleporting jiffy bags seem to arrive before we've sent them.

This young seller is so nice, lovely item. lovely price..........Super fast delivery too. Reply: We would have been quicker but we stalled on the earwax plains of Exeter.

What a seller he's so fine. I paid, he sent, and now it's mine. Reply: Enjoy the false teeth. Grandma doesn't need them anymore.

Thanks,recieved my boots didn't fit but my mate loves them:-) Reply: Buy a saw off us so that you can trim your feet to your desired size.

Many thanks,have a good time Reply: We always have a good time if nurse leaves us the little purple pills.


It was an experience we'll never forget, like being molested by a drunk goldfish.

I'm so excited I think I'll go eat some lentils!

Fantastic - quick delivery, excellent condition + nice extra. Reply: Glad you liked the extra. Found him wandering on the set of Day of the Dead.

Now you've bought our electric tepee can I interest you in a gas powered canoe?

The magic beans don't work. Can we have our cow back ?

Enlightenment is hard to attain living in a cereal box.

I shed no tears as I peeled its skin for I loved the onion no more.

Guess it was better than a tickling from a Polynesian ear wax fairy


These are really nice and are just as the title describes them. Reply: We always try to accurately describe our used Andrex on a wipage scale of 1-10.

Received packed well. perfect. Reply: Luckily it was only a 60ft well, the 120ft model is much harder to bubblewrap.

This year for my holiday I'm having a vacation from hygiene.

As the mushy pea avalance descended only the ladle of speed eating could save us

If at first you dont succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Today received!! Reply: It took a big jiffy bag to get the Today into but we managed eventually.

My first attempt at mind control failed as the radish was too strong willed.

The queue of pensioners at the Post Office were no match for my newly acquired snowplough


Like extreme sports ? Then try mountain gorilla waxing.

I'll have to hide this when mother comes to tea

Yep..fine and as advertised Reply: The Yep came from our best herd that graze on the hill. Does it miss it's mother?

The remote control slippers will need recharging after 8 hours of usage.

great little frog for the collection. Reply: Its not often we sell our Frenchmen but your cells & security were approved.

Now I know I shouldn't use a blowtorch to reboot the PC.

Our 1st order was for a supersized George Bush burger but the dragon was fine.

Funky baby, thanks, quick delivery Reply: yes delivery was quick, she was only in labour for 2 minutes but weighing 16 stone we'd say the baby was more chunky than funky.


Optimistic for a solution to the jam problem. Reply: Unlikely as I soaked the cd in jam for days before we posted it.

Received my straitjacket and I love it!!

Mummy doesn't enjoy a drive thru MacDonalds now we've sold the bulldozer.

I've not had as much fun since the vacuum cleaner attachments were confiscated!

Very quickly received Reply: Didn't want it hanging around for long. Not with that flea infestation.

Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes Reply: Put your strait jacket back on or you'll catch a chill.

I try to make my body a temple so why does it look more like an amusement park ?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown too ?


Bring me another saxaphone Mr Turnip.

It is FAN-TASTIC ITEM, MANY THANKS I LOVE SQUIRRELS!!!! Reply: Now theres a first, a nut which likes squirrels !!!!

I love it - thanks for the surprise Reply: You found the hidden panel containing the 40 Albanian refugees then.

Fine old dragon-well packaged Reply: glad the mother in law arrived in one piece.

The silver-backed line-dancing queen title is one I hold dear.

More fun than lawn mowing a field of jelly.

Very good Reply: Hope you like it as much once we actually post it to you.

Mummy won't swim in her white bikini since that incident with the Titanic.


Thanks for the prompt shipping! Looks like it might be authentic! Reply: Was authentic. Fell off his face during rendition of Thriller!

Where did you come from ? Can't talk now the squirrels are watching....

Delivery good, item could moonwalk

Visits from the tooth fairy I didn't mind. It was the eyeball fairy I dreaded.

GREAT ITEM, WELL PACKED AND SPEEDY DELIVERY!! VERY HAPPY Reply: Packing that nuclear waste by products took some doing we can tell you.

Our new hang gliding hippo couriers aim to impress.

I had a fairytale wedding..........I married a dragon.

I use to be schizophrenic but we're alright now.


I wouldn't say she's fat, she's just a well-tuned speed-eating competitor

Quick delivery nice note added to cd, many thanks Reply: my mistake, it was meant to be a compliment slip not the ransom note

Item was received damaged, but seller refunded full amount. Honorable Ebayer. Reply: Item failed to pass the new hammer test imposed by US customs.

Communicated through a wall of barbed wire candy floss

Delivery times have improved since we fitted a nitrous kit to the steamroller

We don't recommend dressing the crocodile in a kilt........

Today I struck lucky while drilling for custard in the back yard.

Angel is so happy at the box and fan that she cried. Thank you so very much. Reply: Normally its my armpit smell that brings tears to the eyes of my buyers.


Late train service due to marshmallows on the track

Very fast prayer mat - quicker than my flying carpet

Cute skirt, I intend on buying chains for it. Reply: Wise. When we unleashed it on the postie it rampaged for 2 days.

Another one for my collection, Thank you , hope to deal again. Reply: Your collection of Mongolian Yak nosewarmers must be coming along nicely by now.

Quick delivery, hope to deal with again, thanks Reply: delivery speed due to the brakes failing on my tricycle

Feedback left for 3 items Really pleased with item. Thank you Reply: Eh ? Wot ? Really pleased with item. Thank you Reply: Speak up my batteries flat.....Wot ? Really pleased with item. Thank you Reply: Not at all young man. Pass my bedpan will you ?

I'm not antisocial, I'm just allergic to bathtimes.

It came from the sky like a 747 cashew nut of lust.


Very nice, thanks. Reply: Your welcome, said Merlin the Magic Pig, todays feedback assistant.

The speed of the Charge of the Light Brigade was 60 watts.

Arrived on time and the cd was in good condition Reply: arrived sometime and the cd made a good coaster.

Joe's jetski was riden by a stetson wearing hippo on the Atlantic journey

Lovely item, thanks. Reply: No it wasn't. It had no manners and kept hogging the tv remote.

Unfortunately the letterbox goblin ate the parcel before I got to the door.

Super fast payment!! Higly recommend!!!!! Reply: Can't recall this Higly ? Did he work for the Foreign Office ? Or Burger King ?

Cheers for taking our Moldavian pop sock collection away!!!


Pleased your happy with the carved Latvian toilet roll holder.

Theres no way I can teach that cow to breakdance. Not in those boots.

ø¤º°**º¤ø....ø¤º°*** GREAT TRADE, bestest wishes, mily*** º¤ø....ø¤º°**º¤ø Reply: Your feedback is making me feel seasick.

Your breast enlargement pills seem to have only worked on my bottom.

One by one the garden gnomes steal my sanity.

After being mugged by a 5 year old in Mothercare, I left security work.

Quick transaction,great item...GREAT EBAYER!! Thanks. Reply: Forget the compliments, just give me coffee and no-one gets hurt.

Von Trapps were easy. Getting the live 'hills' in there was the problem Reply: Warning. This sellers sanity is running on low. Buy from him now.


Great aadvark. Lovely pumpkin. Super fast strawberry. High on recycled daffodils

Brilliant skirt, brilliant service, brilliant wrapping, BRILLIANT!!!!!!! Reply: careful, with all those brilliants you'll have someones eye out!!!!!!

Excellent service very efficient, would recommend to to my granny! Reply: We now offer a full range of incontinence pants & ear trumpets just for granny!

This feedback reply has been fully screened for infectious diseases.

I ordered death by chocolate. The waiter drove over me in a Cadbury's lorry.

Wow! Quick delivery! Dunno what I'll do with 20 tons of gravel though... :-)

Computer dating worked for me, I married a ZX81 Spectrum.

Excuse me while I move my steamroller off of the postman.


Thank you A+ Reply: Don't mention it. Because the squirrels may be listening......

The footprints of life crossed my jam toast right before my eyes........

My body is a temple. It has a 1000 years of cracks & needs restoration.

I fed Mummy's rock cakes to the dog. He doesn't beg anymore.

What a fat dominos player

Item arrived in trenchcoat & shades wiv false passport. Reclaimed Expenses.

The banana boat fled from the pirates of the strawberry ship.

It wasn't our fault. The dog was the one driving at the time.


He's so quick he pays before the auction starts and buys things I haven't got yet Reply: Today we will be bidding on the items that you're buying next Thursday.

woof woof, thanks Reply: stop trying to chat up my chain smoking Beagle

Wonderful experience! Top seller, lots of fun! Would come back for more! Reply: Always welcome back to experience the annual sock sniffing championships !

A rolling stone gathers no Stirling Moss.

Divorce turned out to be a wife changing rather than life changing experience.

After sinking the Titanic the iceberg lettuce hid in a greengrocers.

The woodworm of astonishment has devoured my disbelief Reply: He's also devoured my dinner. Greedy little man.

Stunning dress, well packaged, speedy delivery & friendly seller - thank you! Reply: We had to stun and sedate the dress as it refused in climb into the mailing sack


Crazy Colin's career as a crustacean careered off course near Canterbury.

Sent the next day, great service, knew what was goin on and when! Thanx! Reply: You got it 6 hours after I posted it ? Never knew Royal Mail had a teleporter

Thankyou - Excellent!! & your feedback has kept me entertained for hours.. Reply: Feedback?? We don't leave any. That's the armadillo's responsibility.

Do not attempt to leave feedback while tightrope walking.

I LIKE THIS PENDANT ALOT I SHALL WEAR IT TO WORK WITH PRIDE. Reply: Made from the finest nuclear waste by products.

Luckily her collagen enhanced lips cushioned the fall.

Cook with washing up liquid to save time later doing the dishes.

Next door, Seals keep us awake with incessant clapping & honking bicycle horns.


Difficult to describe the bewilderment of my wonder. Must be ferret season.

Excellent ebayer thank you welcome back anytime Reply: We stole everything worth nicking the 1st time we came round. Follow-up: Your response has me baffled I have no idea what you're on but can I have some?

Rapid folding money delivery by Owl. The night postman was too slow. Amazed Reply: We had to send the owl as the millipede had just taken his boots off.

Swift delivery and delighted with the item. A1 eBayer Reply: Glad you like it. I had to sit on it for 8 weeks before it hatched. A1 Egglayer

Lovely trousers quick delivery Thankyou Reply: But we sent you a step ladder ? You sure the trousers aren't the postman’s ?

Matrixhusband. Starring Keanu Reeves in a apron, armed with a Dyson. Cert PG.

Bid now, bid lots, worry about bankruptcy later.

Love the jacket, quick delivery, no problems, thanks, A+ Reply: I love my straitjacket too. Mines blue with lace trim.


I always thought that an intelligent blonde was called a ladrador ?

LIGHTENING DELIVERY THANKYOU. Reply: The lightning was harder to box than the thunderclaps but we still managed.

I'm confused. Consumate the marriage doesn't mean eating the in-laws ?

The item arrived very well and quickly. Thank you. Reply: The item was fully innoculated for the trip. Glad it arrived well & rabies free.

How was I to know the walrus would need extra insurance ?

Give up running. Become a tortoise and you'll live longer.

Love the drawing, now can I have some of your famous feedback? Thank you xx Reply: This friendly buyer has a human touch. Face like a bulldog chewin a wasp though.

Norbert failed his 3 point turn as he couldn't find reverse on his rhinoceros.


Madam, put your HANDS UP and step AWAY from the chocolate !

Rickshaw delivery velly welly packaged ar so

No problem exists that cannot be solved by the power of a doughnut.

Some say I'm bizarre, I think I'm more of a flea market though.......

Prompt delivery. Nice piece. Pleasure to do business with this seller. Reply: Glad you liked your piece. What happened to the other broken bits ?

How am I supposed to type when the sleeves of this jacket tie up at the back ?

Thanks for the jeans! They are exactly how you described them! Reply: Wow - like jeans you mean !!!

Has more panache than pie an mash.


Fast shipping, good communication, nice item as described. Thankyou! Reply: Nothing slows our shipping. Not even wheel clamping our spaceship.

We skipped the light fandango in favour of peaches & mango.

Thanks Great packaging - took me all morning to open it! Reply: Next time I'll also list chainsaws to make life easier for you.

Great item, and super-fast delivery. a seller I hope to be able to use again Reply: Yes we are reusable and eco-friendly. Eco's been my mate for years now.

EXCELLENT EBAYER--GOOD PERSON TO DO BUSINESS WITH--A1 Reply: The complex art of cut & paste feedback is a joy to witness.

Mummy was pleased wiv her purchase. Only 1 'Does my bum look big in this ?'

great e-seller Reply: I don't sell e's. I do a nice line in horse tranquilizers though.

Is playing I-Spy cruel to the visually challenged ?


I use to be a dyslexic fish but I'm all batter now.

RECIEVED ITEM THANKS! LOVE IT! ;o) Reply: Damn ! Another satisfied customer !

I thought I waz smart til I met my friend plankton........

Very pleased with both service and goods received would definitely recommmend! Reply: I'll let you know when I've got the next batch of Ugandan platespinning dwarves.

Delighted with purchase!!cheers!! Reply: Glad you liked it. It was the walrus who insisted I sell it.

I tried to go to eBayholics Annonymous but I missed the meeting so I could bid on yer stuff

Basil cunningly fitted his racing sloth with nitrous oxide for an easy win.

fastest transaction yet Reply: Our new Mongolian Yak delivery service is a success then ? Very pleased.


Attempting to juggle 5 wildebeest was just taking things too far.

Really great item, well packaged, fast delivery! Highly recommended 100%! Reply: You'd have got them even quicker if my elephant hadn't had a flat battery.

Received this morning - great addition to my collection - thanks Reply: I'm glad your collection of Guatamalian ear-muffs is rapidly expanding.

HOPE THEY ARE WHAT YOU WANTED Reply: What have you posted me?? Britney AND Christina in the same box ? WONDEROUS !

Brilliant speedy service - item arrived safe and sound Reply: Hope the giraffe ducked as it went through the doorway.

Upon entering the workplace, stimulate your fellow employees with a yodel.

Time is a great healer....but a lousy beautician.

Fast delivery, well packed, excellent condition. Reply: Fast delivery, well packed, choice of 3 toppings. 9 or 12 inches. Deep pan.


Wooooowww.Awesome buckle plus FREE belt!!!!Can't beat that!!!THANKS Reply: That explains why my trousers kept falling down on my way into work today.....

Very friendly and helpful, highly recommended. Reply: Only friendly to you. I poke my tongue out 2 everyone else cos they can't see me

Great buyer - fast payer - friendly and communicative. Reply: He means I paid quick but then I wouldn't shut up !

Playing 'The Wheels On The Bus' as the wedding anthem proved unpopular.

Goods safely received and a bargain - thanks Reply: On the way to post it I was mugged by an idiocy of reality TV contestants.

Superb seller, fast and friendly, great packaging. Reply: Are you physic or just spying on me ? Cos I haven't posted your parcel yet.

SMOOTH TRANSACTION.....THANX FROM THE REBEL COMMAND CENTER Reply: Thanx for the free moonshine. Boss Hog and Cleatus say hi !

Good reliable seller. A Bentley amongst a sea of Ladas and Skodas.


Another five of my turtles are delighted to join your minagerie! Reply: Next time I will mainly be buying aardvarks. They eat less.

Living next door to a black hole proved detrimental to receiving parcels.

Buyers control during the emergency landing of the watermelon was impressive.

Excellently wrapped Bavarian yodelling snails, available in 3 different flavours

Craig's bargains included buying the holy grail and the moon for only a quid each

We converted to the religion of illumination and now we worship light switches.

They say give the dog a bone......So we dug up the postman.

Now that you are a regular you qualify for discount on all our whelk lingerie.


Great buyer & also available for hire as a scarecrow on Wednesdays.

Non Paying Bidder. Buyer was unable to sell enough lucky heather or clothes pegs to pay us.

I liked this buyer so much I had his head stuffed & mounted on my living room wall Reply: Could you send my head back please? I'm lost without it...

Parroticularly good buying bird. Paid us with pieces of eight.

Buyer spirited me away in a celestial levitating mango.

Diamond Dave don't misbehave. A buyer so good we’re gonna hide him in a cave.

If thoughtfulness were weight this buyer would b da Rik Waller of da WalrusWorld

Seller refunded after the elephant got lost in the postal system.


Uncle Wainwright kept me up all night by force feeding me Werthers Originals. Reply: I don't know what came over me.I'll stick to humbugs in future.

Nice item. Sorry that our sabretooth cow savaged your carrier pigeon.

Thankfully this Jade was nothing like the one off of Big Brother

Payment quicker than a politician putting in his expense claim.

The inclusion of a free liontamer was greatly appreciated upon opening the box.

Despite repeated attacks with a bug spray the item still hovers by the back door

After explaining that winning meant paying, everything went slowly !!!

Chas was very quick to seal the deal, even though Dave was nowhere in sight.


Immaculately turned out item. Arrived wearing a top hat & rabbit skin loincloth.

Couldn't have been happier. Not even if delivery was by a roller skating bear.

We racked our brains real hard and came up with................Ta

Item arrived that fast we had to call the paramedics to give it oxygen.

These replies were all for the same person from 1 buyer Wrong item. Useless. The brains of an amoeba. Wrong item. Has the business sense of an alcoholic babboon. No item. May your armpits be infested with the fleas from 1000 camels. No item. Probably steals sweets from babies in prams as well. Wrong item. Bid on this seller's items if you have an IQ of less than 10. Wrong item. Seller has the personality of a tapeworm. Wrong item. Seller puts the cow into cowboy. No item. Our stupid pills obviously work cos we bought from this seller.

Rolled into town strapped to the side of a giant wagon-wheel. Reply: Hey Gringo, You wanna buy my seester???!!!

A1 tunes, floated to us on balloons.


Allowed us to collect. I had the whopper wiv fries. She had a PVC burger.

You can run & you can hide but the feedbacks gonna find you.....

I went to bed and woke in the magicshed. It was cool, green and bubbly.

Quick payer, great ebayer, has hair like Leo Sayer.

Not so scary when you suss he's got the word rusk in his username

Well packed Internationally sent items. Took ages to unwrap the dancing girls.

Once they were men, now they're giant land crabs.

How deep would the ocean be without sponges?


Delightful.......even though it did bite me when I opened the box.

Delightful demon to deal with. Marvellous horns. Cleans them with Mr Muscle.

Good new ebayer. Still glowing like a Readybrek man.

Good buyer. Quick response & payment. Ideal for the kitchen or bathroom.

Good buyer comes fully fitted with quick payment options. Also available in red.

Gargle everyday to see if your throat leaks.....

Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.....

Yippee !!! More boxes. These ones are for my navel fluff and earwax collections! Reply: Your monkey droppings have been despatched


Superb seller. Nice item packed securely with stale wotsists. Yum Yum ! Reply: Its a Lie, the Wotsits were fresh!!!

If life were like a box of chocolates, this seller would be a walnut whip.

Excellently packed by Santa's moonlighting elves.

Excellent honest seller. So nice I'm going to live in his garden.

Yes, you’ve made it to the end – Congratulations, now go and take a lie down. Hope you liked it Rob

 Copyright ChivvyBooks 2006 - Unauthorised copying prohibited Anyone found copying this material will be sent to bed early without any supper


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