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Our EQ Model Our model for emotional intelligence consists of 5 factors and several sub-factors that help people master their emotional reactions so they achieve their life goals. Our model consists of inward and outward components that influence our actions and reactions.

Our powerful plan for developing emotional intelligence in The EQ Difference helps people at all levels of the organization blends information from the cognitive and limbic brains. It's filled with workplace examples and practical suggestions.

Emotional Intelligence: The Next Step in Your Diversity Efforts At this point in the game, your company has probably done some initial diversity awareness. Perhaps you’re satisfied with your results and wondering what the next step might be. Or maybe, you’re wondering how you can get the message to hit closer to home and prove to have lasting and significant results with your workforce. Either way, the next step lies in profound fundamental shifts in our thinking so that the awareness seeps through to our behavior and actions. Once this shift occurs, diversity is no longer a program, but rather a way of life. What can you do to catapult you to this next level of acceptance? In The EQ Difference, Adele Lynn outlines the steps to greater emotional intelligence. Working with Franky Johnson, Lynn has combined the concepts of emotional intelligence and related them to diversity. “We believe that this is the next breakthrough in diversity. It challenges prejudice at the core,” said Lynn. “Prejudice stems from the way that people think and feel. Although some people are intentionally prejudice, many are prejudice by way of their actions and words, but not their intentions. This process forces you to challenge your actions and words so you live up to your intentions. Others speak of diversity and inclusion, but their actions speak exclusion. Emotional intelligences forces alignment between our words about diversity and inclusion and our intentions.” Emotional intelligence is your ability to manage yourselves and your relationships with other people so you can live your intentions. If it is your intention to count yourself among those who are overcoming prejudice, then, these steps


will help. Emotional intelligence demands self-awareness and then using that self-awareness to change how we think, feel, and act. Here’s a sample of the steps in action. 1) Recognize One of the hardest issues for most of us is to face the fact that prejudice or bias has seeped into our thinking. You have to examine your thoughts and your feelings. Pay particular attention to your thoughts about individuals. A great exercise is to finish the sentences….Blacks are… Hispanics are… Old people are… This activity will give you a good indication of the programmed thinking that your rational brain has adopted as “truth.” When you discover ill-conceived “truths” in your thinking, you’re in a better position to confront them for what they are. Your feelings are also significant indicators that will help you confront prejudice. When you are in the presence of different groups or people, how do you feel? Condescending? Fearful? Superior? Dismissive? Defensive? Confused? Suspicious? Pay attention, because feelings often precede actions and behaviors. So, this step involves facing the truth about your prejudice. Doug Reid, of Innovate a Phoenix based consulting firm, said that the most important thing for him to do is to clear his mind of these ill-conceived “truths” before he interacts with others. He said that is a powerful thing to admit to yourself. Mari Gonzalez, an independent translator, was born in Argentina, a place she says was not prejudice as the United States. In the three years she has spent in the US, she says, she has realized that Americans put people into “boxes.” She never knew about those boxes before, but over time, the presence of those boxes seeped into her being, and pretty soon, she says, she was putting people into boxes herself. “I feel bad about that,” she says. Her self-awareness helped her understand that she was falling into the trap, and it has helped her climb out of it. 2) Redirect Having the courage to admit prejudice is a great first step. Now, call upon yourself to redirect both your thinking and your emotions when it comes to people of different color, national origin, religion, etc. To confront those ill-conceived “truths,” ask yourself to find contrary evidence to reframe your thinking and form new and more accurate truths. Keep challenging your thinking and introducing new information. One of the very best ways to redirect your thinking is to get to know people who are the target of your prejudice. Spending time and openly exchanging ideas often is the best way to get past the initial emotional reactions that may poison your thinking and your behaviors. Also, redirecting also means deciding that you intend to treat people differently than you currently do. Once that intention to treat people differently is in your consciousness, you should consider it every time you encounter someone who is the target of your prejudice. Adele Lynn, author of The EQ Difference, relates a story about her own transformation. Years ago, on her first day of work, there was no desk for her, so her supervisor put her into the office of a woman — a black woman — who was on maternity leave and would not be needing her office for several weeks. Lynn looked around the office and saw a number of photographs staring back at her: parents, children, a husband. “I said to myself, ‘I’m in the middle of a black family,’” Lynn said. “So there were all these loving eyes looking at me.” Seeing that loving family was quite a revelation for a woman who had grown up only with stereotypes of black people. That was part of what started her transformation. The other part kicked in when the woman came to visit her co-workers and saw Lynn sitting in her office. “She eyed me up,” Lynn said, “and she made the decision: Should she be upset that I was in her office and taking over, or should we be friends? And with her big heart, this black woman decided ‘Let’s be friends.’” Thirty-five years later, that friendship still produces blooms.


3) Reflect An important path to any type of self-improvement is reflection. Each day, we have an opportunity to reflect on our interactions with others as well as our intended outcomes. Reflection is a powerful tool for overcoming prejudice IF we use it correctly. Too often, we spend valuable reflection time justifying our actions. We lament, “I didn’t mean for Susie to feel hurt.” We justify our actions by hanging onto our good intentions. Instead, if we use our reflection time to consider the result that our words or behaviors caused, we’re in a much better position to redirect our behaviors in our next encounter. We’re not measured on what we intended, we’re measured on the impact, so that’s what we should consider during reflection. What did we deliver? Yet, reflection isn’t about regret. Each day presents a new opportunity to learn from our encounters and to try again. The biggest regret is to never face the truth and fail to confront your prejudice in the first place. David Gonzalez working with an advertising company watched as the casting director and the company used the power of reflection to redirect their prejudice. He says that once when he was casting for an ad for the U.S. Latino market, the casting director looked at the people Gonzalez had brought and concluded they didn’t look Hispanic. “What do Hispanics look like?” Gonzalez asked. That question forced the advertising company to look at the Latino market differently. The Next Step If your company is interested in digging deeper and taking the next step in your diversity efforts, emotional intelligence tailored to diversity can give your employees a very meaningful look at their thinking and it can give your company true inclusion – consistent intentions, words and actions. Sure, some people will want to hold onto their prejudice. For those, nothing may work. But for many who have good intentions, but just don’t know how to align their actions and words with their good intentions, emotional intelligence can give them the answer and a profound learning experience.

A Different Kind of Smart The ability to solve quadratic equations may be a function of a person's IQ, but the ability to deal with everyday job stresses, shifting priorities, demanding customers, and difficult co-workers is a function of EQ or emotional intelligence. In fact, those employees who score high on the EQ scale work with a different, yet vitally important kind of intelligence. That's not to say that intellect or IQ is not important. Incredible progress has been made in business over the years by applying our intellect to our toughest problems. We've engineered some of the very best equipment and machinery. We've reduced our costs. We've driven our productivity up. We've improved our processes based on sound facts. And, we've based our financial decisions on good solid data and reasoning power. So, make no mistake, intellect has proven invaluable and will continue to be invaluable to drive our businesses to success. However, if we want to soar beyond our present horizons, we must blend the progress that we've made in business using intellect and IQ with the invaluable competencies of emotional intelligence or EQ. It is our emotional intelligence that will solve our retention and morale problems, improve our creativity, create synergy from teamwork, speed our information by way of sophisticated people networks, drive our purpose, and ignite the best and most inspired performance from our people. So just what is emotional intelligence? With the risk of oversimplifying, emotional intelligence is the dimension of intelligence responsible for our ability to manage ourselves and our relationships with others. Included are skills that drive our internal world as well as our response to the external world. There are five components of emotional intelligence. They include: a well-honed timing for emotional expression and emotional control; empathy for others; social expertise that allows us to develop strong working relationships; personal influence that helps us advance our purpose with others; and an integrity that aligns us with our life's purpose. Each day in the workplace, an employee's emotional intelligence is put to the test. Most often, how an employee reacts to situations will build goodwill and co-operation with customers and co-workers or will further drive wedges


into tenuous relationships. When an employee can master appropriate internal emotional reactions to situations and also master his external response, the employee is working with a high level of emotional intelligence. Too often, feelings of self-doubt, frustration or anger will take over and control a person's outward expression in a particular situation. How many times have you heard a person say, "I just couldn't help it, I was just so frustrated I had to react the way I did?" As an employer, it's important that you recognize that those reactions can also paralyze the work that gets done. Underlying tensions and emotions make their way to every meeting and every encounter in the workplace. Yes, I know, you have probably been taught that emotion doesn't belong in the workplace. But the reality is that it's inescapable. Emotion is present in the workplace. Everyday. Everywhere. Therefore, as you have improved your business by way of applying intellectual resources, now is the time to recognize that you can also make dramatic improvements that will help you reach your business goals by improving the emotional intelligence of your workforce. Unlike IQ, which tends to remain fixed throughout a person's lifetime, emotional intelligence can be improved over time.

A Quick Overview of Emotional Intelligence What is it? The workplace need no longer linger in darkness regarding the factors leading to great performance. More than 25 years of research in the neurological field and specific study about the factors that contribute to success in the workplace, have resulted in break through perceptions about intelligence. Quantifiable data on performance in a myriad of industries and organizations has resulted in a body of study called emotional intelligence. These years of study have named and identified the “intangibles” that predict success in the workplace. Emotional intelligence explains why despite equal intellectual capacity, training, or experience, some people excel while others of the same caliber lag behind. So, what exactly do the gifts of emotional intelligence comprise? Although the language, models, and depth of this subject differ among the experts, the general thesis supported in these works is consistent. Five families or areas emerge as central to the Emotional Intelligence. They are:

1. Self- Awareness and Control – This competency comprises two separate skills. The self-awareness component demands intimate and accurate knowledge of one's self and one's emotions. It also demands understanding and predicting one's emotional reactions to situations. The self – control component requires full mastery of being in control of emotions rather than allowing the emotion to control the person.

Examples of Positive Workplace Behaviors:   



Accurate self assessment of skills Acceptance of developmental needs Professional composure even in stressful situations Accurate knowledge of emotional reactions

Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors:   



Exaggerated strengths and weaknesses Denial of developmental needs Angry outburst or flippant comments or sarcasm when angry Tears of frustration, anger, or manipulation

2. Empathy – Empathy requires the ability to understand how others perceive situations. This perception includes knowing how others feel about a particular set of events or circumstances. The understanding associated with


empathy is both cognitive and emotional. It takes into consideration the reasons and logic behind another's feelings or point of view, while also allowing the empathic party to understand the feelings the person has.

Examples of Positive Workplace Behaviors: 



 

Appropriate comments to others in times of stressful situations Able to active listen the person's situation or concerns Sensitive to the timing of comments Raises issues or concerns in an appropriate manner

Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: 





Inappropriate comments which can erode relationship Insensitivity to difficulties or stresses of coworkers or customers Will often criticize others in a demeaning way such as saying they are illogical or over reacting

3. Social Expertness – Social expertness is the ability to build genuine relationships and bonds with others. Social expertness allows people to genuinely express feelings, even conflict, in a way that builds rather than destroys relationships. Social expertness also demands that one read social situations for readiness, appropriateness, and spoken and unspoken norms.

Examples of Positive Workplace Behaviors:   





Develops friendly relationships with others Will confront issues in a constructive manner Follows through on promised actions because relationship is primary Initiates positive actions that will benefit another person Viewed as helpful

Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors:  

 



Often questions motives Is isolated or not well liked by co-workers or others Confronts like a bull in a china shop or not at all Struggles to determine social norms and acceptable behavior Often displays poor timing of comments

4. Personal Influence – Personal influence is the ability to inspire others through example, words, and deeds. Personal influence is the ability to read situations and exert influence and leadership in the desired direction. Personal influence is also exhibiting outward actions for one's visions, missions, core values and beliefs.


Examples of Positive Workplace Behaviors: 



 

Attentively listens to ideas, concerns or objections Validates concerns or objections of others before stating his /her position Does not insult positions of others Asks for assistance toward goals or objectivesl

Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: 

 



Quick to dismiss or insult ideas that he/ she disagrees with Does not encourage others' ideas Tells or expects others to follow rather than ask opinions or attempt to dialogue Does not work to build consensus

5. Mastery of Vision/ Purpose - Mastery of vision and purpose requires that the individual have the ability to set personal direction and goals based on a strong personal philosophy. The ability to move with passion toward life's goals are also essential to mastery of vision. This inner compass also provides resilience and strength to overcome obstacles. It is the inner motivator and the guardian angel of our purpose. When our actions and words are consistent with this personal philosophy, it is our sense of authenticity. When inconsistent, it is our sense of stress and discomfort.

Examples of Positive Workplace Behaviors:    



Is self assured in career / life direction Accepts setback as temporary obstacles Attempts to learn from mistakes Sense of composure and confidence in opinions central to life mission Focused attention

Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: 



 

Constantly second guesses career / life choices Often will display lack of direction in career / life choices Jumps from one interest to another Will often think that the someone else should give them the answer to life/ career choices


Your Front Line Bankers, Emotional Intelligence, and Your Bottom Line Your frontline employees face a daunting task every day: to serve customers who, for one reason or another, range from irritating to rude, and to send them away with a good banking experience. Those customers can trigger defensive behaviors in bank employees, such as stubbornness, sternness, sarcasm, even meanness. What your tellers and loan officers should want to do to, even with the unpleasant customer, is to complete successful transaction for the both the bank and the customer. To do that, they must understand that their customers might be carrying burdens they don't know about. That's empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the perspective of others, and it's one of the foundations of improving one's emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to understand that something in that rude customer's day gave him the attitude he brings in. Maybe traffic has put him behind schedule. Maybe she has been denied a promotion she deserved. Maybe a child or an aging parent is sick. Maybe he just hasn't had good experiences with banks in the past. Understanding that customers bring their personal baggage into your branch is the first step in your tellers' and officers' developing a positive relationship with them.

So, how should your frontline employees improve their empathy? First, they should ask themselves these questions:

       

What triggers might be present that are disabling my empathy? What questions can I ask so that I can gain insight into this person's perspective? Am I listening to build an argument or to further my case, or am I listening to understand? Am I at risk for not understanding the perspective of the other person? Is my intention to empathize with the other person's perspective? What assumptions must I challenge if I intend to be more empathetic in this situation? What can I do immediately to learn about this person's perspective? * What situations in my own life can I draw on to understand this person's perspective? What did I do well to empathize with the others in this situation?

The answers to those questions might help them to improve their relationships with challenging customers. How can they improve their empathy in general to help them improve their relationships with everyone: customers, colleagues, family, friends and others in their lives?

There are many things to do, but for the purposes of this article, ask them to focus on these Eleven Steps to Improved Empathy: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

When someone is talking to you, ask yourself what emotion is underlying his or her words. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Can you understand his/ her point of view even if you don't agree with it? Try to anticipate the emotional reaction of other people in a given situation. Watch people's non-verbal reactions to you. What do you think they are feeling? When someone says something you disagree with, actively listen to his or her statement. Do so in a nonjudgmental way. Notice the reaction that this precipitates. When someone says something you agree with, stay silent about your views and draw the other person out and ask them to tell you more. Watch a television without the volume. Record it for later review. Try to read the emotions that the characters are portraying. Watch the show again with the sound to determine how accurate you were in your assessment. When listening to someone, ask that person to clarify the feelings behind his / her statement, not just the facts.


9.

List ten people you think are extremely empathetic. Observe their interactions with others and list the qualities, both verbal and non-verbal, that you observe. 10. List ten people who you do not think show sensitivity to others. Observe their interactions with others and list the characteristics, both verbal and non-verbal, that you observe. 11. Ask someone who you think is very empathetic to coach or mentor you. There are other ways to improve your empathy. But these should put you on the road to making your bank branch more inviting to customers, and they should have your customers coming back to you.

Andrew Morton Managing Consultant

“Your Complete HR Solution�

Tel: (011) 472 2996 Fax: (011) 472 3009 Cell: 083 454 7602 e-mail: andrew@thehrhub.co.za web: www.thehrhub.co.za

EmQ  

Our model for emotional intelligence consists of 5 factors and several sub-factors that help people master their emotional reactions so they...

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