Dispatches MONTELIMAR | BLACK JOKE
I had been puttering across France via the rivers and canals for what seemed weeks when suddenly I felt out of my depth. I had joined the River Rhone which, after weeks of slow meandering on canals, commenced to now push me purposefully south at remarkable speed. It was late July and extremely bloody hot. I sped down the river wafted on by the sweet scent of lavender in the surrounding fields. Every night I would collapse into my bunk in an exhausted, baked stupor, flayed by the sun and feeling like an overcooked steak, but very happy. The longed for south was here at last. I was being driven forward by a desire to see my girlfriend who was based on the coast. On this particular evening, I reached Chateauneuf lock near Montelimar as the evening shadows lengthened. It was time to stop, drink a beer and cook dinner. But no, the lock was set open. Lock keepers sometimes did this for you – although on the Rhone it was not normal. Still, I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to progress still further. Avignon beckoned! I sped toward the gates of the huge, intimidating lock gates. Just as I was entering an alarm sounded and two barriers crashed down almost on top of my boat. A voice crackled over a speaker system beseeching me ‘Retirer, RETIRER!’ I glanced behind me and saw the huge bulk of a large freighter headed for the lock. This was no riverboat, it was a fully fledged seagoing ship somehow transplanted into the midst of rural France and now bearing down on my tiny boat. I slammed the boat into reverse. My boat has a long keel and doesn’t do backwards but I knew it HAD to do reverse. For once in its life the boat behaved impeccably I backed out at extreme speed and slid back into the lock layby, flung a line on and watched this huge leviathan enter a lock that seemed smaller than the ship. I cracked open a beer and drank it with the gusto of a man reprieved. Silence fell, the night enveloped the boat and I slept, profoundly content.
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OCTOBER 2021 Sailing Today with Yachts & Yachting
