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Word From The Editor... Controversy

Most random News of the week

Un-sung Hero(s) of the Week

Male Female Beauty Contest Winner Brighton’s Next Top Model beauty contest ended in hilarious controversy. The victor of the whole contest was actually a self proclaimed Ladyboy, she announced shortly after winning it! But were they really surprised? Brighton isn’t exactly known for its normality...I’m just surprised it wasn’t even weirder than that! Maybe next year a transgender Flamingo should enter and see if it can get itself a new prize! May we also remember that her name is Angkoorat..that’s an anagram of Kangaroo T!!! Well done miss sir lady man!

We all love a good hero, and this issue it is not just a good hero but a wonderful one. PC Sharon Price has shown amazing qualities in her ability to rescue an almost undeniably dead driver, whose car crashed into a bridge and burst into flames, hanging over the edge of the bridge, seemingly destined for a horrible death. The PC sprinted up to the car, endangering her own life to save the dangling driver from his torched Mercedes. She saved the day in a heroic act that all officers should aim to do. PC Sharon Price is a hero.

“You know what really grinds my gears, sexual moments in movies, your sitting there with your beer the tension is building, it’s side boob madness, then BAMMMMM cut to the morning scene. I mean WHAT THE HELL which jumped up movie director gets off on this stuff! Also why has no-one ever mated a platypus with a Velvet Worm can you imagine ahhhhhhh velvet platyworm.”

Last In Line What does it mean to be a US band in 2012? Being a US band at the moment is actually pretty hard. There is a huge music scene in America with a lot of local music, which makes it hard to stand out. That being said, there is also tons of opportunity to make it in this country compared to over seas. Will the world end this year? The world is not going to end, however there are going to be some big changes happening some good and some bad. At least that's what we think. Can you point to a specific moment as musicians and say 'that was when it became real'? We are still very young as a band, being together for less than a year, so we really haven't hit that point yet. We hope that point can come as soon as possible! If you could erase any band from music history, who would it be? Wow, this is really a hard question. We as a band would never wish bad on any other musician. History has shaped itself to where we are today, so by erasing a band from music history there could be some serious consequences. On the contrary, if we could bring any band back I think it would be Led Zeppelin. Their musical talent was unsurpassed and their songs are still played today and still enjoyed by the younger generations.

DirdyBoi What does it mean to be a US artist? It definitely means a lot of hard work being that there are so many Artists, you have to work harder to show your talent and outshine the others. What's the most inspirational thing you've seen? The most inspirational thing I have seen is watching a persons hard work pay off. That's pretty inspirational to me. I believe nothing is done by chance or luck but by hard work.


If you could delete a musician from history, who would it be? I don't even think I could think of an Artist I would delete because different Artists mean different things to different people . Just because I don't particularly like this artist doesn't mean another person shares my same sentiment. I would not want to deprive another of their Fav artist. How would you Cheer the world Up? That's a hard question because the world is such a vast and complex place. Everyone's need or perception of happiness is different. So to cheer up the World would pretty much seem like an impossible task. Thanks!!

Life after Liftoff How are you finding getting your feet into the music business? It is always a challenge, but it is one I (Lee Weiss) take with optimize. It comes with creating the love of art. Nothing ever comes easy and I am up for the challenge. I have always wanted to be a musician and dive into the music industry, so here I am fighting for everything I have. Describe your music for our audiences. I call it 'Alien Pop-Punk' it is a fusion between 90s pop-punk and 80s arena rock. It is a blend of my favorite artists Blink 182 and U2, best of both worlds. What are the advantages of growing as a band in the US? The advantages are touring, there are a lot of venue options in the US with the dense population. We can easily travel to a different cities and find new fans. If you could Cheer the world up, how would you do it? I would inspire everyone by our music to have fun, not take yourself too seriously and embrace each other for who you are and where you come from. We had the chance to pair up with an awesome organization, Defeat The Label who fights against adolescent bullying. In our latest music video Brand New Life, we shot a music video with high school students to stop bullying once and for all.

Throwing Gravity What does it mean to be a US band? Well we'd like to consider our music to be accessible for anyone and everyone in the world but we hope to bring back rock music here in the US and hopefully spread it around the world and rep our country and good as we can. Looking forward to our first international tour so we can rock everyones faces off!

Who is your favourite avenger? They all kick ass but its a toss up between Capt. America and Thor....hmmm have to say Captain America although he wasn't an original member of the Avengers his story is cool about how he was trapped in ice and got a second chance to kick some butt. But Thor can dish out some hurt.

What would you do if you were women for the day? have a nice little spa day or maybe play a rock show as an all chick band haha How would you cheer the world up? Well we have already started a high five epidemic at our shows so if you come to our shows come see us at the merch booth and we will dish you out a sweet dose high five awesomeness

The Front Bottoms Why should people listen to your music? We hope you would listen to our music because it’s fun, it’s not hard music to listen to and if you end up enjoying it then you have new music to listen to.

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be? If we could be anywhere right now I think it would be looking at Mount Rushmore. Never seen it so it’s added as a stop next time we are out that way.

What does the future hold for The Front Bottoms? The future for The Front Bottoms is to keep working hard, keep playing shows and putting out albums. We have some good ideas, we just have to work on getting them to you. NOBIG DEAL What does it mean to be a Us Band? To be a US band can mean a lot of things. In the 80s it was all about having huge hair and a very loud style and very loud attitudes. Never doing what anybody told them but doing what you wanted. The 90s was the grunge scene and being different and really bare to the bone rock n' roll. 2000s have been all about pop-punk, rebelliousness and just having fun. Now we believe it's all about just doing what you think sounds the best and just being original. People are a lot more accepting these days of differences and we are embracing that! What Pokemon would you be? If we could be a cartoon it would be POKEMON! We've all played since we could barely read and "We wanna be the very best, like no one ever was" :) We apply that saying to everything we do in music. Plus we're just a bunch of nerds who love Pokemon and video games! Who are your influences? We have many idols from many different styles of music including, Blink 182, All Time Low, Kings Of Leon, N*E*R*D, Relient K, The Strokes, Biggie Smalls, NWA, We Are The In Crowd but above all we want to emanate the skill, originality and passion of bands like The beatles, Led Zepplin, Guns n Roses and many of the other great rock bands of the 70s and 80s. How would you cheer up the world? How would we cheer up the world. If we could we would just use our skill in writing, recording, performing and passion for what we do to bring everyone in the world to a common ground, with the love of music. To show everyone that there's nothing that can bring such different people together than great music, and through that we could cheer up the world and just leave it in a better state than before we came upon it.

BorderlineFREE What does it mean to be a UK band? Being a UK band means a lot because of how exciting the music industry is within the UK right now. There's a lot of agression from artists and fans against Top 40 music which is dominating and attempting to kill off unsigned and emerging bands. The UK for us is definitely the birth place of rock and we're certainly a band ready to take it back. What’s your cartoon of choice? Our cartoon of choice would always be Family Guy. Family Guy is a pet favourite amongst the whole band and jokes from each new episode are always quoted in band practice and during live sound checks. What are you up to right now? Right now we are recording our debut mini-album. The record will have 7/8 tracks on it, including our single 'I Wanna Go' that was released 6 months ago, along with our next single 'Chains'. We will then be working on a couple of new videos as well as appearing at some of this summer's festivals including RedFest with Young Guns and Modestep. How would you cheer up the world? Cheering the world up is a dangerous question to ask... Half the band may chat your ear off for quite some time.

Bury The Ladybird What's your favourite mythical creature? We like this interview already! it's better than the boring, normal questions!! Tig: Unicorn Matt: Spyro the dragon Seb: Jesus Zach: God What does it mean to be a British band? Other than the funny accent? 'Smashing' - we cant imagine there is much of a difference to say, a US band. It is hard to work the live music scene nowadays over here anyway as the country isn't massive so there are only so many places you can play in a short time. How would you cheer the world up? Play a gig with a big bonfire, where everyone is invited, with beer (or shorts for the people with taste) and lots of marshmallows. What's next for Bury The Ladybird? We've just finished recording our album, our next music video and single for 'dear daddy' is out shortly... So release the album, keep gigging like we do all the time and hopefully world domination! Can you explain the name? Not really... Not in short anyway haha! It came about when Matt and one of our ex members literally did what the name spells out... I guess we could sound slightly more educate an claim it's a metaphor 'to forget about what we thought was natural and free before, until we became involved with music.' That, and it's an anagram for a BLT.

Mutineers Explain your name to us. The name came about as a reaction to all our previous musical projects, we all came together as a bunch of rather frustrated mid 20s men looking to start something new, our current bands were all at the end of their shelf life so to speak, and I guess the meaning of a mutiny is that you're all reacting to something to a degree.......of course after having the name now for a couple of years it tends to take on a new meaning as you progress, but at the time of picking the monicker definitely seemed appropriate...and luckily it sounds very cool and looks good in print, on t-shirts, posters and so on. How would you explain your music? I think that's a question nearly all musicians dread because it's always so hard to explain the exact nature of the sound... mainly we're always looking for that melodic & memorable hook that people will go away singing...intelligent lyrics are a must within our songs and a good hooky riff is always a bonus. We like to layer things when recording so that it sounds lush and big, so lots of extra guitars, backing vocals, name it! At the time of writing and recording the album we were listening to a lot of good 80s guitar pop, the likes of Cure, Bunnymen, New Order, Smiths ect, all definitely influence our music....the newer stuff is a bit more rhythmic and funkier, but not in a James Brown sort of way...

Would you ever make a sex tape? We've already made one! check out <> it's all very foot fetish based!

What's so good about being a british band? Well apart from Mikey who is from Denmark, yes we are all British but i'm not quite sure what large bearing it really has on our music...i'd say the main bonus is that the British culture is well engrained into guitar music, which is the sort of stuff we are making...other than that I'd say we're into just as much American music as we are British...

Monet How's it feel to be a British band, has Britain still got a rock scene? "Personally, I don't think Britain's rock scene has been as strong as it is right now in a very long time. There are so many talented upcoming bands out there, and of course we are honoured to be a part of it all." Snog marry avoid? The Queen, Obamas Wife (Michelle) or heather mills "Snog Obamas Wife, marry Heather Mills and avoid The Queen (it's not hard really, is it?)." What music has inspired you guys? Who's your favourite band to chill and listen to? "Our inspirations as a band include anything from Snow Patrol to Nirvana, (we all have completely different tastes) however right now I don't think you can go far wrong with a bit of The Script." Any type of musicians you really hate? Like a kop out band? Or an awful pop artist? "I wouldn't say that there is any one type of artist that any of us HATE, but singer-songwriters are becoming quite annoying in the sense that nobody wants to be in a band anymore! At least it seems that way." Finally if you could Cheerup the world in one way what would you do? "End world hunger and poverty; someone has to do it.“ Is there more to come from Monet? "At the moment we're just really trying to focus on getting 'The Chase‘ EP out there as much as possible, however we are working on a number of new songs which we are looking to demo over the next couple of months with a view to releasing a single towards the end of summer, along with some merch!"

White Moor What does it mean to be a British band? I (Benny) grew up listening mainly to British artists. The Brit-Pop era was especially influential for me, it was a driving force me to begin writing and performing my own songs. I think its important to write songs that are true to yourself and believe this should reflect who you are and where you are from, there is nothing worse than fake accents and made up subject matter. How stereotypically British are you? I can safely say not one TV or hotel room window was harmed on our last tour..!! In WhiteMoor, we’re all in aspired by British artists from old and new. I would say we are pretty British sounding certainly with my guitar tone anyway as I use a Rickenbacker 330 through an Orange AD30, cant get much more British sounding than that. What's the future plans for you? Our plans for the immediate future keep us in the studio, working harder than ever on our second album. Yeah, we're working hard on the follow up to our now critically acclaimed debut album. It has a lot to live up to but its sounding incredible already.

Being a solo artist, what pressures do you have on you? Not much to tell you the truth. I don't feel like a solo artist because my fiancĂŠ and I both promote for the band. I just got signed to WHOA LABEL and they are very flexible. They make being a band fun. They are hooking me up with internationally distribution for my upcoming album "Forever & Ever & Ever After" which is going to be huge. They also supplied me with PR and a radio deal. Being a solo artist means I can write about whatever I want. It's also a lot more rewarding because you don't have to deal with lazy, opinionated band members. The biggest perk is when you're solo you make more money than a band that has 5 or even 6 members in it. I have made smart decisions and I'm in good hands with WHOA. What do you love about being an american artist? Well I love being an American I am proud to be one. Right now it probably would benefit me to tour in the UK since it's illegal to steal music there now. Being an artist in America is hard right now because the country is scared the economy will crumble. So kids don't come out to shows like they used to 5 years ago. Once we get new leadership I think people will become more brave and not be so scared to spend money. Do you often get branded 'up and coming-? Yes, named me one of the top unsigned bands of 2011, Billboard wrote an article about me saying they see big things from me in the future. Also Kings of A&R acknowledged me as up and coming and gave me a free feature. Then WHOA LABEL came to me with an offer I couldn't refuse. So I guess I was up and coming. Now I'm here and here to stay. You have a very 'hands-on' approach with fans - how does that affect your music? Well I read and respond to every message and I do my best never to miss a tweet as well. I don't use getting bigger as an excuse to ignore the fan that got me where I am today. I'm grateful for all of their continued support. How would you cheer the world up? Well that's my master plan and it's already in the works. My new album "Forever & Ever & Ever After" is going to make people see the difference between love and love ever lasting.

What does it mean to be a British band today?

I think it's a pretty exciting time be in a British band at the moment. When you look at all of the bands based here and have a look at where they are playing, not just in Britain but around the world it's pretty impressive. I think that's largely down to how good the bands over here are at the moment, it's not a fluke or anything like that! I think the success of others is making everyone else realise what can be achieved and the whole world right is now loving what's coming out of our little island!

What is the most inspirational thing you've ever heard?

It depends what inspires you really. I think for me it's having people that i look up to telling me that they are proud of something that I've done, for me that makes me try even harder.

How much has the internet affected you as a band?

Hugely, I think without all the social networking sites and YouTube we wouldn't be where we are right now. I think it's absolutely key for any band starting up. I think once people know who you are and you're in every magazine and every music station going it's easy to live off a reputation but starting off being a new band you need something to build on and for me the Internet is the best platform to begin building.

How would you cheer the world up?

When everyone's pissed off at life I'd just make them listen to Party Hard by Andrew WK over and over, if that didn't cheer them up then they are never going to be happy anyway!

What is your favourite meal?

I love a good Nandos me, I didn't think I'd get on that train but I really have. I get cravings if I haven't had one for a week!

Far be it from me to start a personal attack on the older member of society but surely they shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be judged as the fashion icons of today, so how come an increasing number of un-evolved half minded hipsters have flocked to the bargain bucket at BHS to pick up some horrendous brown leather coats. This is not a fashion statement, its a fashion disaster. Burn them on sight!

Do you wake up thinking boy, do I wanna look like a giant inbred knob? Then here this is the fashion item for you. These are the latest derogatory items, that allow you to show your high level of maturity and great taste in trashy women. Do not hesitate to enter your closest low end sport clothing retailer to pick up your ticket to the top of the tramp list. This winter we have experience many horrible things, lengthy snow fall, a recession that is crushing the British economy, but worst still the permanent disgust that we face after see the new craze for the â&#x20AC;&#x153;fashionable manâ&#x20AC;? Man Uggs, aside the one benefit of warm feet, these sheepish monsters are and should remain, for the female market, If nothing is done to stop this trend winter 2013 could be far worst than first predicted.

Music What do you get if you combine possibly the greatest British rock band of all time, the undisputed kings of grunge, and a hard rock specialist? You get 3 of rocks superstars; John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin), Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters), and Joshua Homme (Queens of the Stone Age), all in one band, Them Crooked Vultures. This meant that the trio had a lot to live up to when creating a studio album in 2009. They were labelled the “Super group of Super groups” with Jones on Bass, Grohl on Drums, Homme on Lead Guitar & Vocals, which had set the stage for a mammoth recording to come. Luckily for fans around the world they didn’t disappoint. Right from the opening track “No One Loves Me & Neither Do I” Homme’s guitar riffs run wild providing an interesting & quirky start, then before you know Call Bloody incredibly Crazy it It Grohl’s explosive drumming on “New Fang” causes the album to take off. The ferocity goes into real overdrive during “Elephants” with fast-paced riffs, huge drum fills, and an incredibly groovy & powerful bass line Jones. is aclear to seeofthat mainthe driving behind the album is Homme as the album screams QOFSTA at Infrom January this It year, large crowd crazythe with familiarforce buzz of excitement times with the amount of heavy guitar involved. All of the members would agree it is not their best work AWOL fans were preparing to see their generated respectively; it becomes slightly unattached in the middle before a very good finish. However, put into context this favourite band cause some the by the presence of all members of thegiants band, of rock an experimental, hard-hitting, piece of work should be havoc given at massive credit. From a casual jam between London Relentless Garage, but then the with the exception of one, very important fun rock album has emerged. There is by far enough star quality in there to make it Strangeland a must listen,isespecially for not particularly very fans figure of each individual member’s band. thethey prospect oftell a 2nd album in 2012 there is the likelihood of a heroic of lead singer Aaron Brunoown was man.With Maybe forgot to him they were strange. Nor isagain. it all that risky, or chance fora damning people to listen some old starting, fashion, rock, from some of rock’s performers struck ill by case of thetomanflu. buthard for just a second, it seemed that finest

Keane – Strangeland

Regretfully, he called the gig off, with hope of Aaron Bruno had gone AWOL. Come on, you returning very soon. thought we’d make it through without a pun? On the 28th May he returned, the hero, Alas, the man arrived, and with him, he metaphorical cape in hand. But first the bought a new sense of eccentricity and support acts had to warm the crowd up. passion. Invaders were a good band, with some good In Aaron Bruno, AWOL has a leader. AWOL hooks and some interesting sounds, but all in have a saviour and AWOL have a king. The all, they were fairly average and made our passion he puts into every song, despite its staff want to buy a pizza instead of sticking bizarre screaming and awesome shouts, is around for the next band, Arcane Roots. awe inspiring and breath-taking. The bouncy Now, we have nothing against the band, feel of Kill Your Heroes was intoxicating, infact, previously they have performed very encouraging the crowd to move their asses. well, but its the hay fever season and the ol’ There were no highlights, apart from the one. sinuses were playing up and frankly, the Sail. Incredible noises, dancing. The man arena was giving us a headache, so we went was in the crowd, not on stage. And it was off to find some pizza. And pizza we found! In fitting. He was a part of the crowd, the leader a lovely little shop, in Islington, the pizzas are of his little army. Growing army. The set was 7” big and cost just a pound. Up yours a ferocious display of musical talent, and a dominoes! beautiful display of a man who is exceptionally proud of who he is, and how he So we enjoyed our pizza and made it back in is, and where he is. The underdogs of the time for the kings of whatever genre they music industry are, together, kicking ass. belong in, AWOL. The set was a quick start,

Upcoming Artists

Arcane Roots are a band with the world at their feet; with a genre that is neither Progressive rock, nor Math rock, not Metal, but all at the same time, they tick all the right boxes. They possess a good live atmosphere, and an even better recorded sound ... Arcane Roots are going to be this space Cheer Up!!!!

outgoing. On this newest album the songs are very relaxing, the feel is very chilled out, and very Keane. Incredibly Keane. I would love to pretend that this album is full of substance, and fun, but no. If you want an album full of lullabies this could be the one for you. The first highlight of the album doesn’t arrive until the fifth song ‘On The Road’ which is rich will jolly tunes and piano rhythms that make you want to stand and swing, or swing and stand, or maybe just dance. You can’t stay still listening to it, is directly polarised to the first four tracks, whose names I won’t even mention (mainly because I fell asleep listening to them and can’t remember what they were called). As quick as the album gets going,it stops going. Track six is back to the


Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit Little Mix Cannonball Enter Shikari Ghandi Mate Ghadni Billy Lockett We are young- Fun. Balance Looking for a catchy up-beat song that’s ridiculously Military Wives annoying then here is the song Choir - Wherever you should be listening to, because You everyone Are deserves to divulge in some mellow Green madness Day–now Jesus and again.of Suburbia

slow format that this album seems to attract. Millions of listeners will forget this song, even in it’s (nearly) larger than a mouse chorus. It does try to get going, but, despite the heart-warming feel, it doesn’t do much for me. Maybe it does for you? But probably not. Right Keane, win us back with the next song. Oh no...It’s dreary. Black rain. Aptly named. It’s boring. Neon River isn’t much different – at least this one tries to get going with some extended vocals...but it’s not wonderful. Back on to a good song, the likes which we remember all the way from track five. Day Will Come deviates slightly from the previous songs on the album, with a more upbeat string of events that maybe throws out some hope for this album. Then they do it again. Twice in a row. Two actually upbeat songs that catch the listener’s attention

Rita Ora (feat Tinie Tempah) Yes! Finally a song to hit the charts that is exciting, catchy, fresh and creates epic drops that will blow your mind! The combition of Tinie and Rita is perfectly matched , music at it’s best!

following one another. Maybe you should skip the beginning and start at track ten, because In Your Own is a wonderful song that shows the loveliness of the Keane lads.

Playlist Rudimental- Feel the Love Train- Drive By Pitbull-Back In Time

Foo Fighters-Best Of You

RihannaWhere have you been Looking for poor serving of Rihana, the iconic superstar seems to have hit a snag in her perviously amazing catolouge of hits, this song fails to create any great reaction and I’m sad to say is unlikely be remebered

Backing Jake This week I decided to jump on Ethan, like a true man he smiled and took it, the jump was so powerful that as you can see it blew Lloyds hair and Frances’ dress! BOOM!! 7/10

Wacky Ideas Period Songs Well since most of our ideas are centred round periods, we thought we’d have another shot (PLEASE DUNCAN VALENTINE READ IT)! When a girl is on her period, a guy needs to know so he doesn’t go swimming in the red sea, and a girl needs cheering up, since she is swimming in the red here’s the solution. Ice cream van music, every time the period begins! Think about it? LALALALALALALA now girl is happy and guy is dry! We’ve cheered you up, right?

Taxi fun Taxi companies should start running party taxis – we know they have ‘limos’ but what about a cheap version? Cramped into a tiny little corsa necking champagne watching a really small television from the dark ages, showing reruns of Bullseye...sounds like a party and a half, right? And its cheap! WOOOOO MONEY!

Paedophile Repellent Are you fed up of dirty paedos sniffing at your day and raping your children? Well here is the idea of a lifetime. Essence da leeman. Get the smelliest bastard you know, let’s call him Jack, and then rub his armpits with a sponge (especially good at absorbing ugly smells), and wring his towels. Then put the smells into a scented candle, and then leave it burning near your door. You’ll repel everybody, and you’ll repel the paedo’s too!!!

RussellBrand @rustyrockets I’m drinking virgin coconut water. Slut coconut water mysertiously not on the menu. *Next Tweet* This coconut is no longer a virgin and I am no longer welcome at this restaurant

Jessica Simpson @JessicaSimpson I can't wait for the day I can walk in heels again! My feet feel homesick!

I was walking past a restaurant the other day, and I suddenly thought this. Why on earth do we feel the need to tip waiting staff after our meal? I mean, yeah, sometimes they can be nice and friendly, but at the end of the day they get paid for that, that is a job requirement. I mean, if we’re tipping them on how nice they are, just give them something other than money, they get that at the end of the day; a nice little card saying ‘Well Done, You Did a Super Job’ or something entirely patronising like that. Frankly, it probably exists because there is some old dirty man out there once decided he wanted to pay upfront to buy out some lovely waitress he fancied, and then it got misunderstood as a tip and he never got what he paid for. Well, maybe. But honestly, it is a mystery as to why nurses, and workers that actual make a difference don’t get tips, but people that walk from one end of a restaurant to another indeed do get extra dosh for their ‘hard’ work, but for a nurse to get a tip…well the only nurses that get tips these days are the bloomin’ strippers who get a fiver tucked into their pants, for no reason. So next time you go to a restaurant, tell the waiting staff to shove it if they want a tip, or to save a life or two.

UK Vs USA: The burger of lard v. the English fry up The panic is over, I am back. No longer will you have to read the astronomical lies and accusations by Mr Gareth Davey. NO longer will you have too endure the endless boring drivel that Mr Gareth Davey thinks is ‘hilarious’, for you see he was batmanned as a young child (if you do not know what that is then shame on you!!). The big cock up his arse lead to years of Gareth eating his own faeces, shoving bananas down his japs eye and even pretending to be Heather Mills long lost leg. Understandably this has lead to Gareth losing the full function of his mind therefore what he wrote last week should be ignored … apart from Prince Taz, that happened. Now back to the recipe.

The Yanks When I think of an American, I think stereotypically. Abortion hating, death penalty loving, Mitt Romney supporting rednecks who weigh enough to worry St Lucia! That’s why the burger of lard is perfect for the food off! Un paso: Find someone called Gareth and kick them very hard! Paso dos: Show your support for Mr Romney by running over some people (make sure they’re dead) and spit in a few peoples faces. Afterwards buy some burgers ya’ll. and some other stuff, I don’t know improv guys! De tres pasos: Take 5 minuets to recover from the rare walking experience, you don’t want to pull a muscle o.0. De cuatro pasos: Crack open a beer and wack you’re burgers on to a BBQ for 10 minutes, add seasoning for some flavour I think, * flicks through Jamie Oliver’s burger cooking recipe book*, yeah do that thing I said. Cinco pasos: You deserve a break; mould a busty woman out of lard and perform your nasty, sexual desires you randy, tubby man … it’s all the action you’ll be getting this year chap. De seis pasos: Chop up those other things that you bought and chuck them onto the Barbie, I doesn’t matter what it is just chuck it onto the BBQ. Siete pasos: Once that stuff is cooked use a saturated knife to slice open a bun. Tenderly place the meat and veg between the buns making the bun all succulent and moist, phwor can you resist my sensual writing! I should write a porno. Ocho pasos: I don’t really know what else to say apart from eat it dingus. Oh and vote Obama American readers!! Cause, well you know, he’s not a Republican.

The English Fry up Now for a golden recipe, just like your old mama used to make ya! Nothing can possible beat an English fry up. Thus the fry up in my opinion has already wonStep one: Get ridiculously drunk the night before planning on making the epic fry up. Step two: Wake up in a drunken daze and attempt to walk to the kitchen. Step three: If you make it to the kitchen (well done) put two bad boy pork sausages in the oven for 15 minutes Step four: Put black pudding, plum tomatoes and bacon into a frying pan. Step five: Chop up mushrooms and put them into the frying pan Step six: Find someone called Gareth and kick them very hard! Step seven: Put hash brown into the oven for a while, im not really sure how long they take to cook really; when they’re brownie looking I guess they are done Step eight: Put beans into a pan and bread into the toaster, I’m not going to tell you what to do next, you should be able to work it out. Step nine: When everything is cooked … put onto a plate and smother it in ketchup and mayo!!! Not BBQ sauce, I hate BBQ sauce! Then pour a cup of OJ to drink with your meal IN AN ANILITICAL CONCLUSION, The fry up is godly cuisine at it’s best because it tastes amazing and always cures a hangover! If anyone disagrees we shall have a cook off of death!! m1iNq02Kz0 This is a crazy, crazy sport/activity. Incredible! It was such a rush when I did it! I wasn’t in this video but I did it! I DID IT!! I AM GOD! But no seriously it’s off da fuckin’ CHAIIIIIIN SWWt9IC7mGs&feature=fvwp&N R=1 this next one I wasn’t involved in and it looks crazy as shit! I can’t tell if it’s fake or not but it looks SUPER Badass! I mean... who thought you could actually do that? Reminds me of those weird lizards that can run really fast along water! Increyableu! Y8RdYCHhdLY This is incredible! I would just like to know how people get into it and what the fuck happens when you fuck it up... maybe you end up like this...

Good question! Anyway our last sport is incredibly... pointless... but actually very funny and my personal favourite... WdA you watch this shit and you may or may not laugh... I’m not guilty...

So now I has gotz tuuu compair USA to Britain....

Siiiiiiiiiicccccccccccckkkkkkkkk So we have the main sports of Both... on one hand Britain has... Football (actually with the foot) Rugby, cricket all of which are very popular in other countries in Europe and around the world! The US ( home of the free, Land of the brave) has American Football( with the hand) Baseball, and Basketball... all these sports are actually fun to play when up for it and hugely popular in their nations! Soccer and/or Football is the only real sport popular in both countries... but most popular in the US of A is American Football... In Britain it be Football!

So we compare the two ci?

Monster Raving Nice? Key policies at this moment in time? Key policies at this moment in time ! Keep my car key safe, lock the front door, and only give the key to my heart to somebody who deserves it ! Apart from that we would insist that our currency included a 99p coin ! We would also open research on Sat-Nav 'Space Hoppers' for exploring the Looniverse How does it feel being the only elected MRLP member? Only elected member ! But I'm not. Yes I am on the Fleet Town Council where I live in Hampshire at the moment, but also 'Mad Mike Young' is a councillor on the Isle of Sheppey, and Nick 'The Flying Brick' Delves is a councillor in Kirk Ireton in Derbyshire ! But success in Town and Parish councils is nothing new to us. The first being myself in 1987 on the Town Council of Ashburton in Devon, held the seat for 13yrs and as recently as 1998-99-2000 I was the Town Mayor, yes, the Millennium Mayor, was chairman of the Council and a Lord of the Borough, all on the Loony Ticket. Over the years we have had many, many, more successes on councils all over the country, but that seat in parliament so far still eludes us ! Where do you feel the party will be in 10 yrs times? In 10yrs time ! Hopefully I shall be Prime Minister ha ha, or at least have a seat in Parliament. I will probably become the President of the Party and a new dynamic young leader will lead us forward to rule our Looniverse.Its very encouraging the amount of younger people are suddenly realising that Politics can be fun, even all the Press, TV, Radio and other media all express a sigh of relief when they know we are standing at elections, "at Least it wont be so boring now" the usual comment ! And of course when 2022 comes along and all our dreams come to fruitition we shall paint the Town Red ! ! ! Or at least the House of Lords to match their red gowns !


Did you feel you ran a successful Bradford west election?

Bradford West By-election 2012 Of course it was a success,111 people wanted us to represent them in Parliament, very astute people, the fact that 18,000 probably got it wrong remains to be seen. WATCH THIS SPACE, remember where you heard it first ! ! ! If you had the chance to Cheerup up the world, how would you do it? Cheer up the world ! Probably answered that above, certainly do our very best as always to keep everybody smiling. Do you know 'if a smile was a vote' we would win by a landslide. The world is already cheered up, its just the wrong people running it in many cases ! so lets all give the world a cheer, hooray, and next time vote LOONY, oh, you cant nobody stands in our area I hear you cry. Well YOU can, no excuses are there ! go to - fill in membership form, done, that easy !

Howling 'Laud' Hope Party Leader

Another Bite for Burton Tim Burton’s latest cinematic experience, presents the bright and buzzing 70s, full of vampires, witches and werewolves coming out of the ashes of the 1960s black and white soap opera. Derived from an American series with basic cinematography and mediocre performance (accept the portrayal of Barnabas, which was exceedingly enjoyable) it is typically something that Burton would pick up and shake around a bit. As a Tim Burton fan, the gnarled trees, extended fingers and shattering glitter balls, are enough to enjoy the feature. It is the style which makes it, not the cheesy romance or the amateur father and son bonding. The beginning lacks depth, as it is telling a story – I feel when Burton begins this display of family and has a new tale to tell, that this is when the audience can truly depict the director and his intent and therefore the film becomes more compelling. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter star (surprise, surprise), although they do not disappoint, personally both making the film successful with their star presence and obvious compatibility with each other and the director. All together the crazy costumes, amazing cast and extensive sets disguise the substance that ‘Dark Shadows’ is obviously lacking. The end seemed rushed, a lot happened in a short space of time, though this is respectable considering it has come from a series with over 1,000 episodes. The humour flopped instead of flew the advert suggested ‘laugh out loud’ comedy but instead only produced witty one-liners; these mainly delivered by Depp and only managing to make a stifled chuckle here and there. The old series itself is slow and murky, the film though, perhaps not fantastic and not everyone’s cup of tea (or coffee), does in fact shed a new light on vampires (no sparkles in this movie) and also reveals new faces (Bella Heathcote) and older (Christopher Lee) which show great diversity and bring them back onto the contemporary film scene. Someone once said that ‘It is the actors that make the film’ and in this case I agree 100%!

Hot meets Hobo

“Old guy that you just would”

“It's Dumbledore?”

Daniel Simonson What angers you the most as a person in society right now? Rabbits How could you solve this problem? Give them more carrots What superpowers would you have if you could? I would love to be able to fly. Or moonwalk Do you have any weird hobbies? I go to Benicio Del Toro's website all the time to see what he's up to or working on Movies or books and why? Movies. Because I forget my life for a second. Books I think about my life instead of reading what it actually says on the page. What do you see in the near future for your career? Hopefully I will be better at stand up.

How would you cheer the world up? By high fiving strangers when I walk past them.

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CheerUp Issue 6  

The greatest face off, in the history of music... UK Vs USA Let Battle Commence