Jokes What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roami ng Catho lic.
I hate when I wish on a star only to re alise af ter ward that I just wished on an aeroplane.
I think the harde st part of solvin g a Rubik’s Cube is not ge t ting all the lit tle sticke rs stuck to your fingers .
Fool people into thinking you have a social life by not t wee ting for a fe w hours.
I’ve always wante d to be a comed ian, but I’m scared of being laughe d at. I got chat ting to a lumbe rjack in a pub. He seeme d like a decent sort of feller. Someo ne asked me today, “How long have you actual ly worke d here?” I replied , “Since the manag ement thre atened to sack me…” A lit tle birdie told me my golf skills are impro ving.
I’m not flying a kite. The kite is walking me on a le ash.
A man goe s into a librar y and asks for a book on probabilit y. The librarian says, “Well Sir, it might be on one of those shelve s over there.” I’m at a point in life where enjoyi ng lots of bars just me ans good phone signal .
I’ve insta lled a sk yligh t in my apar tmen t. The peopl e who li ve abov e me are f uriou s.
My wife said she doe sn’t want much for her birthday. She said: “Just some chocolate and a fe w lit tle surprise s will do.” Kinder Eggs it is then. Air t raffic cont rol: “What’s your height and position?” Pilot: “I’m 6f t tall and in the pilot’s se at.”
Fina lly, af ter a long wait my cof fee has arri ved, de spite it not bein g wha t I orde red! Still… be t ter lat te than ne ver.
The C&K FUNdraising Magazine Issue 29 – 2019