Winter 2014: Issue 1
Hampton Roads Crossfire 2
About “The Bench”
Double Pitcher Contest
15-17 Pictures 18
Tom Zuppke Please direct any comments or questions to your league representative.
Coming Soon To “The Bench” Near You Every team will be offered a space every edition of the Newsletter to submit something funny... write about their game... whatever...and since we’re doing a newsletter every Wednesday of every week, you have plenty of time to come up with something! If your team doesn’t submit anything, and isn’t in the newsletter, talk to your captain!
Ideas for Team Submissions Then email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
When I say, submit something for your team, here are some ideas: • Play by plays of the game • Document the debauchery at the bar - i.e. describing someone’s amazing acting skills hobbling across the bar with a “sprained ankle” just to Ice a teammate. ] • Draw pictures!!!!! • Favorite quotes, poems, song lyrics, movie scripts, YouTube video, or motivational speeches! • Email chains from the morning after . • Funny pictures of you, your team, or something random on the internet • Give your team member awards - drunkest, loudest, person with the least shame, best off the face catch, etc.! • Anything. Really. Someone on your team is creative.
Submissions are due EVERY Tuesday by 7 p.m. ** If you need extra time, email me and just let me know.
Double Pitcher Contests
Backyard Sports Club’s email is email@example.com. I look forward to working with all of you! DISCLAIMER: if you have problems with keeping your language in check, not bashing refs, being overly nasty to other teams, and other no-no’s, the Editor does have the right to not include your write up in the newsletter if the content is deemed inappropriate or out of line. We will try to screen write ups as they are received, will try to let teams know so that they have time to resubmit, but there is no guarantee. The easiest thing to do is to keep it clean, be nice, and remember this is all in good fun.
Advertisements WANNA ADVERTISE? If you have a business or an event that you want to get out to the league, email me with details.
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Hair Graphics Owner and Master Stylist, Joy Godfrey has been creating avantgarde looks for over 10 years. Educated by some of the leading companies in the salon industry; Vidall Sasson, Bumble & Bumble, Wella and Paul Mitchel, to name a few. She has a acquired a multitude of skills to give clients the exact look they want. Her work is inspired by the love of art and design specializing in texture cuts and creative color techniques. Joy believes that your hair is a very important part of your life, as well as your selfimage and personality and looks forward to working with you.
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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to firstname.lastname@example.org
Week 2 Schedule, Friday January 17th 7:00 Games • How I Hit Your Mother vs. Dodgballs in your MOUTH • East Side Baller vs. Dodgie Style • Not in the Face, We’re Models vs. Skeet Nation • Long N’ Hard Balls vs. Clown Babies 8:00 Games • Our Balls…Your Face! Vs. Bold Strategy • Stanger Danger vs. Balls in Your Face • Stingers ‘R’ Us vs. We Throw Wrenches • Sitting Ducks vs. Balls to the Wall
Court 1 Court 2 Court 3 Court 4
Ref: J. Equitan & Z. Darden Ref: T. Zuppke & S. Lane Ref: S. Stauffer & J. Soja Ref: J. Reyes & D. Henderson
Court 1 Court 2 Court 3 Court 4
Ref: B. Rose & J. Salgado Ref: J. Price & S. Solorzano Ref: D. Reyes & M. Moleski Ref: T. Williams & G. Harrington
Week 1 Score Board Teams We Throw Wrenches vs. Balls in Your Face Stranger Danger vs. Balls to the Wall Stingers ‘R’ Us vs. Bold Strategy Sitting Ducks vs. Skeet Nation Our Balls…Your Face! vs. Clown babies Not in the Face, We’re Models vs. Dodgeballs in your Mouth Long N’ Hard Balls vs. Dodgie Style How I Hit Your Mother vs. East Side Ballers
Will be updated..check the website tonight!
Standings Team Name
Stranger Danger You’re Killin me, Balls! Dodgie Style Sloppy Seconds Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth! Clown Babies Anywhere But the Face Not Your Average Joes Sons of Pitches Silent Assassins Snack Pack City Rings Around Uranus Ballsagna Long N’ Hard Balls Long N’ Hard Balls Long N’ Hard Balls
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 be0updated..check 0 0 0 website tonight! 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
T 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 the0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Dodgeball is here!! Well, that was the sentiment from about half our team since the majority of Bold Strategy is new to the game and wasn't sure what to expect. With that in mind, I think this week went about as well as we could have hoped. We were matched up against Stingers 'R' Us who did not come out to mess around! We traded blows through the first 4 games and then lost the 5th to go down 3-2. The good news at that point was that all our of newbies were starting to get the hang of it! We managed to reel off 4 straight wins and sail off into the night with a victory. Stingers put up a hell of a fight and deserve high praise for their effort. Instead of singling anyone out, I want to congratulate all of Bold Strategy on an awesome opening night...even my brother-in-law Kenny, who almost killed a girl within 60 seconds of taking the court for the first time! With any luck he'll actually hit someone on purpose this week. - Z. Darden
The Mafia ices Balls to the Wall. A new season and a revamped named for the Stranger Danger Dodgeball Mafia, brings out a new attitude for the team in Black. While The Dodgefather Tom Zuppke was bus having a sit-down with James and Jon, The Mafia was hitting the mattresses with Balls to the Wall. Despite Capo Kelli Medlin being MIA, team consiglieri John Wilkinson was able to get the new wise-guys Tom, Mike, Jason, and Lauren ready for action. (rumor has it is that Capo Medlin was negotiating a hit on Skeet Nation captain Mike Maleski). What resulted was a colossal beat down to the team in Navy Blue. After giving up an opening game loss the Balls to the Walls team, the mafia showed their ruthless shylock business by rattling of several consecutive wins. - S. Lane
Last year we were known as SnackPack City. We decided to change our name, color, and attitude this year. With almost half of our team new, I wasn’t sure how we were going to come out throwing and dodging but I must say I couldn’t have been more proud of my new “A” squad. The first couple of rounds were a little rough since a few players on our team had no idea the actual rules.. Trey and Joy.. (and yes I told everyone to read the rules but who actually does that). The girls actually threw the ball and threw it hard, they weren’t afraid to jump, dive, and talk smack! This week I have high hopes that we continue our awesomeness now that we understand the rules of the game! And on a side note, Tina, please remember to wear the right color and wear it proud as one of our top cheerleaders, Props to Casey and Krysta who got the proper color memo. - J. Price
Ah skeet skeet skeet. Good start by Sitting Ducks as they only trailed 2-1 when we went on a skeet streak finishing with a 10-2 win. Skeet Nation was led by Caren, Jrod, Eric and Adam. Caren single handedly took care of the Sitting Ducks like she was participating in skeet shooting. Jrod, Eric and Adam did a great job blocking and catching. Meghan, Meaghan, Cori, Marc, and Andrew provided catches and pictures that keep you laughing. I cant leave out the facials that J Smooth, Rich Butts, and Mike provided... facials league wide... we shall provide... ahh..... skeet skeet!!! - M. Moleski
Well not a bad first week for the Stingers. We lost 4-6 but did pretty good for coming back from the off season. A couple new people on the team this year…Great Job Sara and Hunter glad to have you on board. You both seemed to catch on quick and played excellent. As for the rest of you slack returners (j/k) I will leave you with a quote from a classic… MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch, LET’S GET IT ON!!! - S. Stauffer
Let's just say for us dodgeball brings back childhood memories and nightmares of last season. Dodgeball teaches us life lessons of teamwork, accuracy, and competition. This season we hope to learn and build on the five d's of dodgeball, "dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge." With the first week behind us, we take time to reflect on our game, different strategies and our opponents: 1. The Kamikaze - the one who no matter what sprints for the ball first 2. The Bully- the one who targets who they feel is the weakest link 3. The Liar - the one who ALWAYS claims the ball never hit them 4. Mr. Honesty - the one who is almost too honest it's suspicious 5. Mr. Personal - the one who goes after those they have personal issues with, outside of dodgeball 6. The Under the Radar Guy - the nonathletic one who becomes the Michael Jordan of dodgeball 7. The Woman Hater - the one who always tries to get the girls out and no matter what, throws rockets 8. The Tippler - the one who likes to drink alcoholic beverages before the game and who's actions are unpredictable 9. The Joker: the one who likes to clown around 10. The Ninja: the one who likes to do acrobatic flips, splits and deflections Which one are you? - A. Mason
Black pebbles in our shoes…the smell of the chilly atmosphere…the ever flowing shots of fireball…the second playing of Copperhead Road…and of course, the dodgeballs in DA FACE! Dodgeballs in your MOUTH is back for the third season and we are aiming for the prize. With a team of veterans and rookies, we are able to beat Not in the Face, We’re Models. We won every game but one. In typical fashion, our ladies were the last people standing and closed a couple of games. Our team will only get better as we knock off the rust and gel as a team. - J. Salgado
Our first game was a learning experience. We are a group of athletes playing together for the first time gauging each others ability. You best believe next time we’re aiming for your face. - D. Reyes
I have to give credit to my team for being troopers with so many of them haven't played dodgeball before. My only advice was to dodge the ball and throw as best you can. We played one of the better teams in the league and hopefully we learn from this game and get better. Our hands off to Skeet Nation for a good game they played fare most of what I saw and not too much arguements during the game. Some trash talking but that was to be expected. Next we will work on trying to catch and throw. Go Ducks!!!!! - J. Reyes
The great lyricist, Toby Keith, once wrote “I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once,as I ever was.” Never was this truer than for the Clown Babies in their opening game of the season against Our Balls….. Your Face!!! After opening with a win in the first game, things quickly took a turn for the worse as the Clown Babies began to fall apart both literally and figuratively. Our Balls took the next three games, and the Clown Babies could never recover falling 6 games to 9… sixty-nine, hehe! Dan Youngsma suffered a foot injured which could only be described as somewhere between Kevin Ware and Anderson Silva… in other words, a mild sprain. Mickey McDonnell made like Alex Smith of the Kansas City Chiefs and put on a show which was nothing short of “elite.” Though like Smith, his efforts were not quite enough to lead his team to victory. Weeks of trash talking between head Baby, Gabe Harrington, and Balls commander, Joe Equitan, made the loss all the more humbling for the Clown Babies. However, instead of sulking and wallowing in their defeat the Clown Babies made like Fraggle Rock and danced their cares away, worry’s for another day! Birthday boy Will Hinton led the festivities, despite being too young to remember the classic 1980’s children’s show. Bruised, battered, and buzzed; the Clown Babies headed home to ice their wounds and study film, looking to emerge victorious in week number two! - D. Heatwole The Mafia ices Balls to the Wall. A new season and a revamped named for the Stranger Danger Dodgeball Mafia, brings out a new attitude for the team in Black. While The Dodgefather Tom Zuppke was bus having a sit-down with James and Jon, The Mafia was hitting the mattresses with Balls to the Wall. Despite Capo Kelli Medlin being MIA, team consiglieri John Wilkinson was able to get the new wise-guys Tom, Mike, Jason, and Lauren ready for action. (rumor has it is that Capo Medlin was negotiating a hit on Skeet Nation captain Mike Maleski). What resulted was a colossal beat down to the team in Navy Blue. After giving up an opening game loss the Balls to the Walls team, the mafia showed their ruthless shylock business by rattling of several consecutive wins. - J. Wilkinson
Soooo…here it goes. I have never written a “team write up” before (Jamie was supposed to write it but he’s out at Trivia), so Charm popped my cherry on this one. Our game was the “big talk” of some thread on BYSC group page. I think we had well over 30 comments between Joe, Gabe, Jordan, and Jonell. We just HAD to win…if we didn’t, we wouldn’t hear the end of it from those Clowns. The games started off neck and neck with a few bad calls from Jon Reyes…uh hum…but our 2nd team did not let the Clowns get ahead of us! We played hard, and they did too. Eddie had a little bit of a roid rage, but Amanda called him out and was able to set him straight. I would say our MVP was Megan! Just messing, but the teacher in me thinks that every player on our team did a great job for our first match! Of course, Not Your Average Joes…wait what is our name again? So many names with the words face, balls, on, in, I don’t even remember. Balls in …Your Face? Maybe. Anyway, well, we won! Boom! In YOUR FACE, GABE! - M. Farabaugh
Over half of How I Hit Your Mother has never played dodgeball before, but that didn't stop us from putting up a fight Friday night against the Eastside Ballers. While we didn't win, we played well together and did win some matches. We learned that Alison's aggression extends beyond the wiffleball field onto the dodgeball field, as she had choice words for Eastside Ballers who didn't play by the rules. One of our newbies jumped and slid with incredible finesse- you can now call him Spider Monkey. Then last but not least, there's the fact that Tiger Woods' twin brother is on our team. That's right, hat and all. All in all, we had an awesome time on the field and after at Krossroads. Oh, and we had perfect attendance. I guess everyone is really gunning for the Perfect Attendance superlative. - B. Rose
No One is Safe, Bwahaha
No more rumors. No more rumblings. No more checking social media outlets. The day has come. The day you have all waited for with bated breath is upon us. What has been held from us, the Backyard Sports Club family, for months can now be told.
In a secret meeting back in July, representatives from the BYSC met with officials from the National Dodgeball League Federation of the United States of America, otherwise knows as the NDLFUSA. In said meeting, after many Zima's, Smirnoff Ices and lumpias were had, the NDLFUSA agreed to be the parent league to BYSC. Thanks to this agreement, those of us who are gifted with the God given ability to play America's REAL favorite pastime, at the highest of levels, will now, finally, have the opportunity to do so. However, there's more at stake than just individual players getting picked up by a team in the NDLFUSA. Not only can players get signed, whole teams will have the opportunity to advance to the next level. This system of relegation is not exactly a replica to that of the English Premier League but is similar -- FOUR teams in the BYSC will get moved up to the NDLFUSA while the Bottom Four of the NDLFUSA will get moved down to the BYSC. What determines how teams in BYSC get bumped up to the Big Leagues? Good question. Here is a list of factors that HELP determine a teams advancement to the NDLFUSA: 1) Team Record: Plays a big part in the decision to bring up a team but may not be the deciding factor. 2) Teams Ability to Drink: Lets be honest, this is probably the biggest factor in determining who gets brought up or not...but don't quote me on that. 3) Teams Attractiveness: The BYSC can't be sending teams up to the Big Time who can't put fans in the stands. 4) Complaining Factor: How prone is your team to arguing/complaining with the refs? Shouldn't be a huge issue but has to be mentioned nonetheless 5) Miscellaneous: Anything else deemed necessary to help determine a teams advancement to the NDLFUSA. Each week I will write up the teams in the BYSC who are likely to move up. This to is not an exact science and is sure to change on a week by week basis but seeing as though I am never wrong, it probably won't. So there you have it. It's all there, at least most of it I think. Anywho, if you have any questions, comments or concerns aim your inquiries to the BYSC email, and I will address them in my next write-up.
Friday January 17th Contest
“ROLL DEEP” The team who has the most teammates and friends at the bar will win the double pitcher contest. Make a Facebook invite, send out flyers…do whatever you have to, to get your team, friends, and/or family to Krossroads. We will do the final headcount at 10 pm. Good luck to all the teams!
Charities & Sponsor Bar www.backyardsportsclub.com
Drink Specials •
$3 Fireball Shots • $7 Domestic Pitchers • $2 Jello Shots (Chichos) $2.50 Kamikaze Shooters (or similar) • $3 Domestic Bottles
Provided to Each Winning Team • •
1 Large Pizza & Pitcher @ Chichos OR 20 piece wings & Pitcher @ Krossroads
CARPE FREEZUM at the coolest event of the year! The Polar Plunge® Winter Festival is Special Olympics Virginia’s largest fundraiser, attracting more than 10,000 people to an otherwise deserted beachfront in February. Individuals and teams, alongside our athletes and thousands of community members, experience heartwarming and bone chilling extremes as they take the plunge into the icy Atlantic Ocean in the height of winter!
About Special Olympics Special Olympics Virginia is a year-round program of sports training and athletic competition for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. We serve more than 10,000 athletes throughout the Commonwealth. Thanks to a statewide volunteer network of more than 20,000 and the support of generous partners throughout Virginia, athletes pay nothing to participate. And with nearly 2,000 events annually, including seven state-level competitions and numerous extreme fundraisers like the Polar Plunge, we invite everyone to join us in our mission to open hearts and change minds about people with intellectual disabilities. 7
Chesapeake, Virginia Backyard Sports Club, Hampton Roads Crossfire League