The Batter’s Box Summer 2012 – Issue 1
Fall 2012 – Issue 4 •
About The Batter’s Box
Charities & Sponsor Bar
Wiffle Ball for Dummies
DOs & DONTs
The Weekly Catch
James Salgado, Charm Reyes, & Jon Reyes
Coming Soon To a “Batter’s Box” Near You Every team will be offered a space every edition of the Newsletter to submit something funny... write about their game... whatever...and since we’re doing a newsletter every Tuesday of every week, you have plenty of time to come up with something! If your team doesn’t submit anything, and isn’t in the newsletter, talk to your captain!
Ideas for Team Submissions Then email them to me at email@example.com
When I say, submit something for your team, here are some ideas: • Play by plays of the game • Document the debauchery at the bar - i.e. describing someone’s amazing acting skills hobbling across the bar with a “sprained ankle” just to Ice a teammate. ] • Draw pictures!!!!! • Favorite quotes, poems, song lyrics, movie scripts, YouTube video, or motivational speeches! • Email chains from the morning after . • Funny pictures of you, your team, or something random on the internet • Give your team member awards - drunkest, loudest, person with the least shame, best off the face catch, etc.! • Anything. Really. Someone on your team is creative.
Submissions are due EVERY Tuesday by 7 p.m. ** If you need extra time, email me and just let me know.
Double Pitcher Contests
Backyard Sports Club’s email is: firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to working with all of you! DISCLAIMER: if you have problems with keeping your language in check, not bashing refs, being overly nasty to other teams, and other no-no’s, the Editor does have the right to not include your write up in the newsletter if the content is deemed inappropriate or out of line. We will try to screen write ups as they are received, will try to let teams know so that they have time to resubmit, but there is no guarantee. The easiest thing to do is to keep it clean, be nice, and remember this is all in good fun.
Announcements Backyard Olympics Wheeler Dodgeball, Backyard Sports Club, and American Cornhole Association are proud to present the Inaugural Backyard Olympics. Teams are encouraged to sign up for all three events and go for the GOLD Competition. There will be social events Friday & Saturday to get to know the competition. Medals will be awarded to teams that compete in all 3 events. But Teams can choose to enter only 1 event. Registration will be up in MidSeptember. When: Where: Time: Why:
Feb 2nd 2013 – Feb 3rd 2013 Virginia Beach Convention Center 11 AM – 8 PM Cause it sounds FUN!
For more info search “Backyard Olympics” on Facebook!
Hair Graphics Come out and get a true sports conditioning burn at Mt. Trashmore! You will learn Speed, Agility and Quickness techniques to improve overall Speed, footwork and quickness. Time: 9 AM – 10:15 AM Cost: $10 per person Where: Mt. Trashmore Instructor: Terence Boone Contact: 757-561-1923
Owner and Master Stylist, Joy Godfrey has been creating avantgarde looks for over 10 years. Educated by some of the leading companies in the salon industry; Vidall Sasson, Bumble & Bumble, Wella and Paul Mitchel, to name a few. She has a acquired a multitude of skills to give clients the exact look they want. Her work is inspired by the love of art and design specializing in texture cuts and creative color techniques. Joy believes that your hair is a very important part of your life, as well as your selfimage and personality and looks forward to working with you.
WANNA ADVERTISE? If you have a business or an event that you want to get out to the league, email me with details.
Hour Escape Massage Therapy 1427 Picadilly St., Norfolk, VA Everything from relaxation massages to injury rehabilitation. Swedish to Deep Tissue. We are all about customizing your massage to fit your specific needs. You deserve an "Hour Escape", you're worth it! Social Sports Club Special If you are a member of any Hampton Roads Social Sports Club you get $10 off your Hour long massage.. or $15 off an hour and a half! That's only $40 for an hour, or $55 for an hour and a half!! Call to book an appointment 757-717-1931 Gift Certificates available www.hourescape.massagetherapy.com
Pembroke Chiropractic Marcie Masterman from Friends Wiff Benefits work at Pembroke Chiropractic for Dr. Mark Soccio. Allow your body to “Fall Into Good Health” this season without the use of harmful drugs or surgery. Our holistic approach goes beyond the medical approach. Our first goal is to help you get out of pain as quickly as possible by assisting your body’s inborn ability to heal. Discover Chiropractic!
Don’t forget to like us on Facebook! Happy Healing! 757-490-5828
REMINDER: There is NO smoking at the fields! And please be discreet if you are drinking alcoholic beverages. Coolers and Solo cups are your friends!!! We do not want to lose these fields, so PLEASE respect the rules! Thanks Please send any requests for “Announcements” to email@example.com
Week 5 schedule – Thurs, oct 25th 6:30 Games • Clown Babies vs. Wiffle While You Twerk • Friends Wiff Benefits vs. Rec ‘N Ballz • Down Wiff It vs. Sons of Pitches
Field 1 Field 2 Field 3
7:30 Games • Holey Balls in your MOUTH vs. Wiffskey Militia • Friends Wiff Benefits vs. Ball Bangers • Make it Rain vs. Wiffle While You Twerk
Field 1 Field 2 Field 3
Week 4 scoreboard Teams Down Wiff It vs. Rec ‘N Ballz Clown Babies vs. Wiffskey Militia Friends Wiff Benefits vs. Holey Balls in your MOUTH Make it Rain vs. Clown Babies Ball Bangers vs. Wiffle While You Twerk Friends Wiff Benefits vs. Sons of Pitches
Score 5-14 11-17 6-10 9-7 3-7 L-W
standings Team Name Sons of Pitches Down Wiff It Rec ‘N Ballz Holey Balls in Your MOUTH Make it Rain Wiffskey Militia Wiffle While You Twerk Clown Babies Ball Bangers Friends Wiff Benefits
5 4 5 5 5 5 4 4 5 4
5 3 3 3 3 3 2 1 0 0
0 1 2 2 2 2 2 3 5 4
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Please submit all scores and write ups about your teams to firstname.lastname@example.org
Team write-ups Let us begin this write-up by explaining a few things. On a night when we were supposed to play some wiffleball, Mike 'His Hairness' Mars failed to realize he had a scheduling conflict with his hair stylist and could not make it to the game. We understand. I mean, have you seen that hair? Come on. Meantime, Amy and Chris claimed they had some last minute conflict with work, but we all know what was really, really going on there. Krista went on a cruise. You've got wiffleball vs a cruise to the Bahamas and you choose the cruise? You should be ashamed of yourself! Lastly, Beth 'I swear I can reach the pedal' Pearson went on a scavenger hunt at the OV and has not been seen since. So there we were, the remainder 7 (i.e. responsible) teammates vs. Charm Reyeseses's stacked, lance armstronged, sneaky, ill mannered, merciless team. We lost the game, but kept it surprisingly close, being down by only 2 runs by the end of the 3rd. Truth is, we lost on purpose. The embarrassment that Rec N' Ballz would've endured if they had been beaten by a halfmanned Down Wiff It would've been too much to handle. See you guys in the play-offs! - Antonio Pazos Defense was the key to our victory in this game. We built a lead and almost game the game away in the end. Clown Babies started to get on a roll and were hitting the ball all over the place, but in the end MIR came out with a victory in the end. Clown Babies have some good talent on the offensive and defensive end. They might be a rookie team but they are starting to get the hang of it and I can see them only getting better. They are a great bunch of guys and girls b/c you can always know they try and close the bar down - Jon Reyes
Team write-ups ello and welcome to this weeks write up! The Wiffskey Militia had the pleasure of playing the Clown Babies for the second time this season. The first time was an impromptu scrimmage, which was a lot of fun on the dirt field. The second time was for real, and for the BIG W. We all know that wiffle ball is a social sport and that we play to have fun, but we also are a super competitive bunch of players that enjoy playing our best at all times. This week the team played great and were amazing. MVP goes to John Duncan for his hitting at the plate. John hit 3 doubles and 1 single, driving in 7 runs. Now that is impressive! Our heart of the team, 3rd Basemen Ryan Roebuck, Short Stop Joe Sorensen, and 1st Basemen Colin Sheilds played fantastic once again. Together they recorded 3 double plays. Freaking outstanding! Way to go team, keep it up. We all look forward to our game this week against Holey Balls in Your Mouth. Tic, Tic, Tic, BOOM!!! - Marcus Blagen
Never underestimate an Asian! Thats what I learned from our game with Wiffle While You Twirk last week. Although the game was pretty promising in the beginning Joe's team managed to score almost in every inning. Lots of pop ups created lots of outs for us. Jamie's hit (although it wasn't a home run) showed us that is also a pretty good runner. Good job Jamie for bringing us one of the 3 points that we scored. Great job on defense, especially in the 4th inning.The game was fast but fun. And Joe is still gonna be one of my best friends no matter how much I hate him right now. - Nadia Kraft
Promoting Ball Awareness...Since 2008
This game was over before it started unfortunately. FWB wasn't able to get enough people to the field so it was ruled a forfeit. But we played a light scrimmage game with them and 4 of the members of Rec N Ballz and had a good time. My father was in town from Florida and got to see the ridiculousness that is wiffleball. He enjoyed himself watching the shenanigans. Looking forward to a championship game rematch from last season this week against Down Wiff It. - Will Buker
I do have to give credit to Antonio and the mini version of Down Wiff It. They held us to a tie game of 2-2 until the 3rd inning. But then we took a page out of Honey Boo Boo’s book and each had some “go-go juice”. That kid is onto something cause we ran away with the lead to defeat Down Wiff It 14-5. I don’t think any home runs were hit this game, stupid wind! And I do have to call out Antonio for molesting Jonell Toth on the field…suuure Antonio, you were just trying to tag her out and not grab her boob! I do have to admit though, those boobs are hard to miss. If Jonell only had a smaller wooty (white girl booty) and boobs, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten out 2 times. I can’t remember who it was that threw the ball and hit her in the butt, but I’m sure he had is eyes closed, and it still managed to hit the wooty! Anway…great game to both teams, and YES, Antonio…we will see you in the playoffs! - Charm Reyes
Team write-ups We started on top, and Wiffskey Militia finished on top. That’s cool though – I’ve personally always thought it keeps it interesting when you can switch it up a bit. I mean we can’t do ALL the work…that gets really tiring. (Your mind went there, not mine).Special shout out for our first timers going all the way. It took them both several decades, but Natalia and Kari can both now say without blushing, they have official ‘scored.’ Props. And some notable “most likely’s” of the game: Most likely to not actually see the ball he catches – Gabe. Most likely to crawl seductively for outs – Kevan. And most likely to be checking into his house on Shore Dr after the game has started – Tim. We’re probably going to need to have a team strategy sesh about moving foursquare further down our priority lists. More immediately important though, refusing to be just another notch on Wiffskey Militia’s bedpost, we HAVE strategized a proven winning game plan for our next fun night stand with WM – Nautica Jeans for everyone. It’s like magic - THE JEANS CAN’T BE BEAT! Supposedly there was only a 40% chance of rain last Thursday. Lies. In what we initially thought was going to be the lowest scoring wiffeball game OF ALL TIME…Make It Rain broke the seal in the 4th(?), 5th(?) inning (…who knows, Amanda wouldn’t share the score sheet and had separation anxiety from the pen), and then MIR just couldn’t stop the stream…of scoring. We know, we know…Warren left his dodgeball skills on the Bayville tennis courts, remember that time it would have been really cool to catch that ball, Scott?, and we acknowledge…its weird when that one guy doesn’t wear shoes and that other guy yells out random numbers while cheering…to people not wearing numbered jerseys. It can’t rain forever though…bc what we may lack in sheer wiffle talent, we MORE than make up for in innate dance party startup ability (you’re welcome for those photo ops). We were born wobbling and remain undefeated in the style that is Gangnam, and that’s what’s REALLY important. It’s true bc I just put it on Wikipedia. BAM. Great talk. See you out there. - Brannon Smith
Great game for team twerk. We played a very clean defensive game and beat Ball Bangers 7-3. It was our send off game for our teammate Kevin Keefe who just went on a 2 month deployment. Shout outs to Ashley B, Tom, and Wade for providing the bats. Great defense from Zac Gordon and Kevin V. It was a defensive struggle almost the whole game we were just lucky enough to put together a couple of good innings offensively. Now looking forward to our double-header tomorrow against the up and coming Clown Babies and the always dangerous Make It Rain.
- Joe Equitan
Charities & Sponsor Bar
Drink Specials •
Wiffle Ball Well, since no one wants to read the official Backyard Sports Club Wiffle Ball rules, here is a simple Wiffle Ball for Dummies to help you out as the season starts out!
NO CLEATS! Unless the ground is wet!
NO GLASS BOTTLES!
Wiffle Ball MOST IMPORTANTLY….DO NOT, DO NOT THROW YOUR TRASH BAGS WITH EMPTY CANS OR BOXES OF “ADULT BEVERAGES” INTO THE TRASH RECEPTICALS THEY HAVE AT THE FIELDS.
These DO NOT Go Into the Trash Cans at the Fields:
The Field Manager has already warned us about this, and if he has to tell us one more time, he will take away our drinking privileges at the fields…or worse, he can end up kicking us off these fields all together! So PLEASE take your trash bag full of cans, cups, and boxes with you!!!
The Dos and DONTs •
DO NOT bring alcoholic beverages to the field….or at least be discreet about it!
DO clean up after yourselves! Unfortunately, maid service was cut out of Backyard Sports Club’s budget due to the economy.
DO be friendly to the Refs: Please do not yell at them…just remember, you’re the one that will look like a jerk if you yell at them.
DO NOT be “that guy.” We do not own Uno Chicago Grill or the premises around it; so when you do something stupid, you’re not excluded from any laws just because you are wearing a Backyard Sports Club t-shirt.
DO NOT leave a fellow wiffleballer behind; we take care of our own. Don’t let your teammate drink like a champ and drive home. Find the closest decent looking guy/gal, introduce them, and have them go home together.
DO NOT be bitter. It’s super important that if you end up having a “sleep over” with a fellow wiffleballer, be cool with them for weeks to follow. We’re a small community, you’re gonna end up seeing them all season! When they drop you off at your car, hug it out, smile…and say “hi” the following week.
DO NOT try to guess that persons name!
DO go to our sponsor Bar, Uno Chicago Grill. It’s what the cool kids are doing.
DO NOT fight! This is a fun league, HAVE FUN! If you fight, fun’s over for you, you’ll be kicked out.
DO always wear your Backyard Sports Club shirt. I know laundry once a week may be too much, so it’s cool if you go a couple weeks without washing….unless you’ve got bad B.O. like Robbie Wright!
DO NOT smoke at the fields!
**DISCLAIMER** Nothing in the Backyard Sports Club Newsletter is to be taken seriously, except for the schedules and scores! Please send scores, recaps, pictures, questions, funny quotes, and/or any information that you would like to be added into the week’s newsletter to email@example.com
The weekly catch Brought to you by Joe Equitan
Natalia semenova – clown babies Oh yes, another weekly catch and this time we have some new blood. Gentlemen, I present to you Natalia. No, not Nadia (that’s her cousin)...NATALIA. This is the second week in a row I’m writing about a Russian girl. The influx of beautiful Russian women invading our shores is troublesome....SAID NO MAN EVER!!! Even though Backyard Sports Club is starting to look like the McDonald's on 22nd street during the summer season...kidding.please don’t send the KGB after me. Natalia is awesome. If you don't see her with her fellow clown infants at the bar, she's most likely on the dance floor doing the wobble. Super smart girl too. She's an ODU grad and carries an MBA along with 2 other degrees. She's probably a Russian super agent who knows, maybe the movie Salt with Angelina Jolie is based on her life? But seriously, men don’t be afraid to ask this girl out. She's laid back, awesome, beautiful, smart and likes to have a good time. DO IT!
E r r d a y I ’ m
w i f f l i n
W i f f l e w i f f l e w i f f l e
Slight resemblence? Maybe it’s just the glasses, I don’t know?
Happy are we?!?
Don’t think too hard! You too, Pazos! Creeper!!! WTF?!?!
Roman Goldsteyn: “I’m gonna teabag Baham, oh yea!” Ashley Burress: “You fall on me Roman, I’ll cut you!” Jonell Toth: “Chris, drink some, I’m drunk!” Chris Halburt: “I want what she’s drinking!” Rob Baham: “Sir, I like the way you talk” (think Sling Blade) Robbie Wright: “Yay! Picture!”
B y s c w i n e f e s t
t a b l e
B y s c r a c e
n i g h t
Norfolk, Virginia Backyard Sports Club, Blue Diamond Divisions