The Batter’s Box Summer 2012 – Issue 1
Fall 2012 – Issue 3 •
About The Batter’s Box
Charities & Sponsor Bar
Wiffle Ball for Dummies
DOs & DONTs
The Weekly Catch
James Salgado, Charm Reyes, & Jon Reyes
Coming Soon To a “Batter’s Box” Near You Every team will be offered a space every edition of the Newsletter to submit something funny... write about their game... whatever...and since we’re doing a newsletter every Tuesday of every week, you have plenty of time to come up with something! If your team doesn’t submit anything, and isn’t in the newsletter, talk to your captain!
Ideas for Team Submissions Then email them to me at email@example.com
When I say, submit something for your team, here are some ideas: • Play by plays of the game • Document the debauchery at the bar - i.e. describing someone’s amazing acting skills hobbling across the bar with a “sprained ankle” just to Ice a teammate. ] • Draw pictures!!!!! • Favorite quotes, poems, song lyrics, movie scripts, YouTube video, or motivational speeches! • Email chains from the morning after . • Funny pictures of you, your team, or something random on the internet • Give your team member awards - drunkest, loudest, person with the least shame, best off the face catch, etc.! • Anything. Really. Someone on your team is creative.
Submissions are due EVERY Tuesday by 7 p.m. ** If you need extra time, email me and just let me know.
Double Pitcher Contests
Backyard Sports Club’s email is: firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to working with all of you! DISCLAIMER: if you have problems with keeping your language in check, not bashing refs, being overly nasty to other teams, and other no-no’s, the Editor does have the right to not include your write up in the newsletter if the content is deemed inappropriate or out of line. We will try to screen write ups as they are received, will try to let teams know so that they have time to resubmit, but there is no guarantee. The easiest thing to do is to keep it clean, be nice, and remember this is all in good fun.
Announcements BYSC American indoor karting
WANNA ADVERTISE? If you have a business or an event that you want to get out to the league, email me with details.
We have AIK reserved for Tuesday, October 23rd from 7-8ish. For $25, you get 2 races (8 min. each.) Teams of 4. Minimum 1 guy/1 girl. It’ll be relay style where you switch drivers after your 8 minute race. If you can't form or find a team, sign up as a free agent. When: Where: Time: Why:
Tuesday, October 23rd American Indoor Karting 2736 North Mall Drive (by Lynnhaven) 7 PM – 8 PMish Cause it sounds FUN!
You can register on our website: www.backyardsportsclub.com
Hair Graphics Come out and get a true sports conditioning burn at Mt. Trashmore! You will learn Speed, Agility and Quickness techniques to improve overall Speed, footwork and quickness. Time: 9 AM – 10:15 AM Cost: $10 per person Where: Mt. Trashmore Instructor: Terence Boone Contact: 757-561-1923
Owner and Master Stylist, Joy Godfrey has been creating avantgarde looks for over 10 years. Educated by some of the leading companies in the salon industry; Vidall Sasson, Bumble & Bumble, Wella and Paul Mitchel, to name a few. She has a acquired a multitude of skills to give clients the exact look they want. Her work is inspired by the love of art and design specializing in texture cuts and creative color techniques. Joy believes that your hair is a very important part of your life, as well as your selfimage and personality and looks forward to working with you.
Hour Escape Massage Therapy 1427 Picadilly St., Norfolk, VA Everything from relaxation massages to injury rehabilitation. Swedish to Deep Tissue. We are all about customizing your massage to fit your specific needs. You deserve an "Hour Escape", you're worth it! Social Sports Club Special If you are a member of any Hampton Roads Social Sports Club you get $10 off your Hour long massage.. or $15 off an hour and a half! That's only $40 for an hour, or $55 for an hour and a half!! Call to book an appointment 757-717-1931 Gift Certificates available www.hourescape.massagetherapy.com
Pembroke Chiropractic Marcie Masterman from Friends Wiff Benefits work at Pembroke Chiropractic for Dr. Mark Soccio. Allow your body to “Fall Into Good Health” this season without the use of harmful drugs or surgery. Our holistic approach goes beyond the medical approach. Our first goal is to help you get out of pain as quickly as possible by assisting your body’s inborn ability to heal. Discover Chiropractic!
Don’t forget to like us on Facebook! Happy Healing! 757-490-5828
REMINDER: There is NO smoking at the fields! And please be discreet if you are drinking alcoholic beverages. Coolers and Solo cups are your friends!!! We do not want to lose these fields, so PLEASE respect the rules! Thanks Please send any requests for “Announcements” to email@example.com
Week 4 schedule – Thurs, oct 18th 6:30 Games • Clown Babies vs. Wiffskey Militia • Friends Wiff Benefits vs. Holey Balls In your MOUTH • Down Wiff It vs. Rec ‘N Ballz
Field 1 Field 2 Field 3
7:30 Games • Friends Wiff Benefits vs. Sons of Pitches • Ball Bangers vs. Wiffle While You Twerk • Make it Rain vs. Clown Babies
Field 1 Field 2 Field 3
Week 3 scoreboard Teams Down Wiff It vs. Wiffle While You Twerk Holey Balls in Your MOUTH vs. Rec ‘N Ballz Make it Rain vs. Wiffskey Militia Ball Bangers vs. Rec ‘N Ballz Sons of Pitches vs. Wiffskey Militia
Score 10-8 5-12 12-10 7-20 12-5
standings Team Name Sons of Pitches Down Wiff It Holey Balls in Your MOUTH Make it Rain Wiffskey Militia Rec ‘N Ballz Clown Babies Wiffle While You Twerk Friends Wiff Benefits Ball Bangers
4 3 4 4 4 4 2 3 2 4
4 3 2 2 2 2 1 1 0 0
0 0 2 2 2 2 1 2 2 4
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Please submit all scores and write ups about your teams to firstname.lastname@example.org
DWI as came ready to play and racked up the runs with steady base hits and excellent baserunning â€“ which was great considering that the wind wasnâ€™t there to take anything over the fence. Wiffle While You Twerk played a good game and really brought some excitement in the final inning. And props to their pitcher, Joe, for hanging in there despite taking a line-drive to the boys. And more props to Mike Mars for adding insult to injury by pegging Joe in the head shortly thereafter. - Christopher Robbins
We had them...til the top of the 3rd inning. Honestly, I think they probably paid off the ref. Maybe the ref just needed a Snickers bar or we haven't come down to a collective bargainig agreement to get the real refs back. After a couple of bad calls and a couple of errors on our behalf, it was hard for my team to come back. Rec N Ballz didn't even hit a single homerun. We simply couldn't stop their line drives. Just like that...and the game was over. Holey Balls still has 4 more games to improve and break our .500 record. Watch out Friends Wiff Benefits! - James Salgado
Team write-ups This week we had the double header. We played Make It Rain first. I would like to start out by saying I am so proud and happy with the play of everyone on our team. This weeks MVP goes to Colin Sheilds who had 2 in the park homeruns and as always an amazing day in the field at first base! Way to go Colin! Other notable playing goes to Jenn Cauldwell who made a number of great catches. One of which was one of the greatest catches I have ever seen. Jenn made the catch deep in left field as she was pinned up against the fence. Absolutely Stunning! Jessica Tocci also played great. She had an in the park homerun, along with her usual rockets that launch off if her explosive bat.
In the second game we played Sons of Pitches, and that is when the wheels fell of the wagon. Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with our team play. We had a 5-2 lead in the top of the 4th inning when the umps made two horrifically outlandish calls. There was a force play at 3rd, and the runner was safely on the bag. The female ump at 3rd base called the runner safe, but then was overruled by the ump at first base. Here's the thing, the fielder with the ball never touched the bag and was 2 feet off third when he caught the ball. How do I know, because I was the runner on second and had a clear view. As soon as the outrageously bad call was made, Ryan who was pitching, yelled WTF. The first base ump then took it personal and said," Oh nobody calls me a motherfer," and kicked Ryan out of the game. At that point we went from bases loaded with our # 3 batter coming up to bat, to the inning ending and our best player who plays 3rd base, pitches, and bats 4th in our lineup, out of the game! In a matter of seconds the umps made two insanely idiotic calls that were unfair, unjust, and unbelievably wrong. How can two umps make two blatenly bad calls? What makes it even worse was Jon Reyes was on our field when all of this was happening. Instead of taking charge and helping sort this mess out, he walked away! We are all super disappointed and outraged by how bad the system has failed us. We would like this situation to be addressed and handled appropriately. This definitely was not the first, second, third, or even therefore fourth time that we had grudge calls against us from that ump! Enough is enough, something has to be done!
I blame our loss on cold weather and Shane's blood alcohol level. Playing against Rec' N Ballz was the most disappointing experience so far. Already warmed up thanks to their first game at 6:30 Charm's team scored more than ten points in the first two innings. I thought we would have a chance to beat them after Jamie's grand slam. But Rec' N Ballz made it impossible for us to even tie the score after they hit a couple of balls over the fence. We'll see what Joe has in store for us this week. We are ready for anything! Bring it! - Nadia Kraft
Promoting Ball Awareness...Since 2008
Always a tough fight against a talented team like Wiffskey Militia. Their guys are all capable of hitting bombs or hitting solid shots all over the field which makes playing defense very difficult. And their girls make solid defensive plays and are smart on the base paths. Never any free plays against the Militia. They popped out to an early lead and were winning 5-3 through 4 innings. But in typical Sons of Pitches style, we were able to find our groove late and stretch out the lead. We held on to a 12-5 victory after a little fireworks with the umpires and some “interesting” calls that led to a domino effect of unfortunate events. Nevertheless, the game came and went and we were glad to get the game finished on a very brisk evening. The wind must have been blowing in because neither team hit any home runs. Shout out to whoever their girl in left field was that made three or four outstanding catches. - Will Buker
Damn it feels good to finally get a win or TWO under our belts this season! The game was getting heated against James’ Holey Balls after a call that didn’t go their way. Simma down James, young grasshoppa! They held a type ship up until the 4th inning, then we just ran away with it. Good job to the Ball Bangers, we had fun. Except for that stupid tall red head lefty ya’ll have! A little advice to the captain, you should toss that loser! Well good games to both teams we played. Great job to my team, and thanks for showing up! - Charm Reyes
Team write-ups What a downer! We lost to last season's runner ups Down Wiff It 10-8. It was hard fought on both sides, but our come back attempt fell just short this time. I hate losing, but I hate it even more when I lose to friends. Our sloppiness cost us this game. But even being down early, we put together some runs to make it close at the end. Have to give props to Down Wiff It, missing their captain and all. I am looking forward to seeing them again hopefully in the playoffs. Highlight of the night has to be getting hit by a line drive right straight to the babymaker. Imagine going to Cancun Mexico for vacation and drinking margatitas on the beach, well it felt like the complete opposite of that!! My team is as hungry as ever tho, so Ball Bangers watch out. Tell the Black Widow I got something for her on Thursday. - Joe Equitan Intense game. I told my team this was one of the best teams in the league. With all the new additions to the team this season it was going to be interesting to see how are team would do with such little experience. Right from the get go Wiffskey was hitting the ball over the place. We had to make some minor adjustments with our defense after the first couple of innings it just wasn't working for us. We got on a roll on offense which was the key to our win. The girls were hitting bombs and hitting good line drives to the outfield and our defense finally has come through. All in all it was a good game for both teams, and hopefully we will see them again later in the season. - Jon Reyes
Charities & Sponsor Bar
Drink Specials •
Wiffle Ball Well, since no one wants to read the official Backyard Sports Club Wiffle Ball rules, here is a simple Wiffle Ball for Dummies to help you out as the season starts out! •
• • • •
When running to first base, remember to run across the outside base. The reason for this is so the first baseman doesn’t crush you trying to tag you out. However, if you’re running to 2nd, you can touch 1st base and book it to 2nd.
Wiffle Ball Well, since no one wants to read the official Backyard Sports Club Wiffle Ball rules, here is a simple Wiffle Ball for Dummies to help you out as the season starts out!
NO CLEATS! Unless the ground is wet!
NO GLASS BOTTLES!
Wiffle Ball MOST IMPORTANTLY….DO NOT, DO NOT THROW YOUR TRASH BAGS WITH EMPTY CANS OR BOXES OF “ADULT BEVERAGES” INTO THE TRASH RECEPTICALS THEY HAVE AT THE FIELDS.
These DO NOT Go Into the Trash Cans at the Fields:
The Field Manager has already warned us about this, and if he has to tell us one more time, he will take away our drinking privileges at the fields…or worse, he can end up kicking us off these fields all together! So PLEASE take your trash bag full of cans, cups, and boxes with you!!!
The Dos and DONTs •
DO NOT bring alcoholic beverages to the field….or at least be discreet about it!
DO clean up after yourselves! Unfortunately, maid service was cut out of Backyard Sports Club’s budget due to the economy.
DO be friendly to the Refs: Please do not yell at them…just remember, you’re the one that will look like a jerk if you yell at them.
DO NOT be “that guy.” We do not own Uno Chicago Grill or the premises around it; so when you do something stupid, you’re not excluded from any laws just because you are wearing a Backyard Sports Club t-shirt.
DO NOT leave a fellow wiffleballer behind; we take care of our own. Don’t let your teammate drink like a champ and drive home. Find the closest decent looking guy/gal, introduce them, and have them go home together.
DO NOT be bitter. It’s super important that if you end up having a “sleep over” with a fellow wiffleballer, be cool with them for weeks to follow. We’re a small community, you’re gonna end up seeing them all season! When they drop you off at your car, hug it out, smile…and say “hi” the following week.
DO NOT try to guess that persons name!
DO go to our sponsor Bar, Uno Chicago Grill. It’s what the cool kids are doing.
DO NOT fight! This is a fun league, HAVE FUN! If you fight, fun’s over for you, you’ll be kicked out.
DO always wear your Backyard Sports Club shirt. I know laundry once a week may be too much, so it’s cool if you go a couple weeks without washing….unless you’ve got bad B.O. like Robbie Wright!
DO NOT smoke at the fields!
**DISCLAIMER** Nothing in the Backyard Sports Club Newsletter is to be taken seriously, except for the schedules and scores! Please send scores, recaps, pictures, questions, funny quotes, and/or any information that you would like to be added into the week’s newsletter to email@example.com
The weekly catch Brought to you by Joe Equitan
Jon reyes â€“ Make it rain It is a true honor to be writing this about our next weekly catch, the patriarch of BYSC himself, Mr. Jon Reyes. If last week's catch Jamie Hopkins is the mayor of friend zone city, well Jon Reyes is the governor of the state it is in. This guy is always surrounded by beautiful women so ladies, you have some stiff competition. I know most women likes men who takes charge. Well this guy most definitely does. If you date him, you wont have to worry about figuring out what kind of fun activities you can do as a couple. Jon Reyes will have a spreadsheet made just for it. Plus, what woman doesn't like a man who will still look like hes 28 at 45 years of age? So ladies, look at the pics above, sleep on it, pray on it, spit on it and cram it in. Or maybe just the first 3 things..
Nadia kraftâ€“ ball bangers For our second catch of the week, I present to you the Black Widow herself, Ms Nadia Kraft. Gentlemen, the pics above speak for themselves. She's beautiful, she's Russian and she's not mail-ordered. What more can a guy want? But beware because I know her real identity. She's actually president Vladimir Putin's daughter. Shhh..Im risking my life by revealing this. But Im doing so because it is a national security issue. Don't break her heart or screw her over for you will be risking nuclear war with Russia. And since we live in a naval port city....just saying be careful. But she is still a worthy catch despite the dangers that comes along with it. So men, take this girl out to a nice dinner of beef stroganoff and some shots of vodka and it will be sure to make for one fun evening.
E r r d a y I ’ m
w i f f l i n
W i f f l e w i f f l e w i f f l e
Wanted: the reyesesesâ€™
2 Cup Flip Cup is the game! My brother and I took on the 3 teams below and shattered their hopes and dreams of becoming professional flip-cuppers. I must say one of my proudest moments is taking out Robbie Wright. It feels great being the CHAMPION in this relationship! LOOOOOOSER!
? YOU CAN BE NEXT
Squishy faces So my wonderful fiancé got me a new camera that takes awesome pictures of things in fast motion. These are some of the pictures I took of the lucky few I asked to make squishy faces! My favorite goes out to Chris Halburt from Rec ‘N Ballz, it looks like he’s in a wind tunnel! And of course Nadia’s had to turn out like she just took off a helmet and is shaking her hair out, like one of those sexy chicks in the movie Torque!
Not so happy yankees Game 4: Yankees vs. Orioles
Uh oh. A Rod is coming up to bat…nervous Nellies!
Another strike out for A Rod in the bottom of the 8th! They can’t even watch!
Dougie Fresh doesn’t look too happy with the Yankees performance.
I think Jamie’s had about enough of this game.
Oh, the look of disappointment on their faces……
Dougie’s girl, Sabrina says boo to the Yankees’ performance tonight!
Norfolk, Virginia Backyard Sports Club, Blue Diamond Divisions