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Legend & Lore ME TAKE ME HO

December 2010

www.LegendandLoreMagazine.com

The Take-Me-Home Waiting-Room Magazine

The History of Toilet Paper

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Welcome to the first issue of Legend & Lore! I spend a lot of time in waiting rooms because my wife and mother and a couple of neighbors all depend on me to take them to their doctors. I don’t mind doing that. But I do mind being bored silly by the shortage of good reading material in most waiting areas. There are only so many 10-year-old copies of People magazine I can stomach. (Not that I care about the people in People, to begin with.) And then, when I do find a magazine with an interesting article, someone has torn out a coupon or a whole page so I can’t finish the article. Having been in publishing as reporter, editor, and publisher for 40 year or thereabouts, and being a man of immense hubris, I figured there was no one better suited to fixing the problem than my very own self. Thus the birth of Legend & Lore. In creating this magazine, I had three goals in mind: 1. Publish timeless articles that won’t get outdated so if a copy of Legend & Lore should happen to linger around a waiting room for as long as 10 years the subject matter will still be fresh for a new reader. 2. Publish articles that don’t have anything to do with health care or diseases. People in waiting rooms have their own health concerns already and don’t want to read about someone else’s. 3. Put enough copies of Legend & Lore in each waiting room so people can feel comfortable about taking one home. That way they don’t have to tear out coupons and articles and leave a mutilated magazine behind. They can take it away and mutilate it in the privacy of their own home. A free magazine such as Legend & Lore has to be supported by advertising, of course. The one problem is that not many businesses are willing the shake the dice with a start-up publication. Understandably so. Start-ups are notoriously iffy, and people have lost money paying for advertising in a magazine that never gets published. Therefore, I want to give special thanks to the advertisers in this issue. Their willingness to take a chance with Legend & Lore has put it in your hands, and I hope you have the opportunity to buy their goods or use their services. In order of appearance: San Jacinto Valley Mortuary (page 4) is a small, family-owned concern, which means it can offer services and a level of caring the big corporate mortuaries are unable to offer. They have a pre-need program that is transferable to almost anywhere in the nation, and their whole-

body donation program can mean no-cost cremation in many cases. CashSavers (page 5) coupons can save you a lot of money. Imagine, to mention only one of their offers, spending two nights and three days at a deluxe hotel in a popular vacation locale for only the cost of the room tax! Leaves a lot of money left over for souvenirs and other goodies. A couple of years ago, I needed new batteries for my wife’s wheelchair. Every source I found wanted a bit less than the national debt for them. Then one day as I was driving down Acacia in Hemet, I saw Discount Batteries (page 7) and went in. I got both the batteries I needed for less than half what everyone else wanted for just one! So when you need a battery, try them first. You won’t be disappointed. Duran Furniture & Mattress (page 7) is another hidden source of bargains on good merchandise. When you’re in the market for a living room suite or bedroom set, check them out. Really great prices on quality furniture. Any homeowner in southern California will agree termites are a big concern. I know. I once introduced them to my house in a load of firewood. Luckily, I had a service contract with TAC Exterminators, and they took care of the problem pronto. They’ve been in business for more than 50 years, so they know their bugs. And if you’re a senior citizen, they’ll lop $25 off any service if you show the ad on page 7. There are plastic storage containers, and then there’s Tupperware, the company that started it all. They’re still the best. When you need some, call Anne Rovello (page 7) for quick, friendly service. Air Cable (page 8 and back cover) is your one-stop source for all things satellite. Whether you want Dish Network or DirectTV or satellite internet and VOIP, call them first. Their deals and service cannot be beat. Wanna get (almost) rich? Scoot over to Our Lady of the Valley Catholic Church on Thursdays and Fridays for bingo. They have big jackpots, and if you use the coupon on page 12, you’ll get a discount on early bird and double-action cards. A lot of spas call themselves “fullservice,” but Hands of Mercy Spas (formerly Health Rythms Medi-Spas) is the real deal. And the ambience: You have to go there to believe it. Relaxed, spacious, upscale. The prices are reasonable, too. If you take a toy or game in before Christmas, they’ll give you 10% off an hour massage. And if you show them the ad on page 12, you’ll get a free peppermint scrub with a one-hour massage. Fresh, locally grown produce beats the

stuff you get at the grocery store any day. So go to one of the farmers’ markets advertised on page 13 to get some. You’ll also find other vendors who sell interesting and unique items you can’t find at the usual retail establishment. If you want to get a Christmas gift for the person who has everything, the farmers’ markets are the places to find it. I’ve known the owners of Bobby’s Hideaway Café and Koko Beach Restaurant in Carlsbad for more than 20 years. Whenever we go to North County, we make sure to have breakfast or lunch at Bobby’s (real homestyle Chicagoland cooking) and dinner at Koko Beach (the ribs and prime rib are fantastic). The food at both places is unsurpassed and affordable (see ads on page 15). Of all the Mexican restaurants in Hemet, La Casa Vieja (page 15) is at the top of our go-to list. Stop in for Burrito Monday. Huge burritos at prices you won’t believe. When you’re in the mood for a leisurely drink in a friendly neighborhood bar, try Bacardee’s (page 15) in Hemet. Completely remodeled and under new management, Bacardee’s is also the only tavern in Hemet that offers the California lottery’s Hot Spot game. For music and dancing, you have to give Tap Daddy’s (page 15) in San Jacinto a shot. It’s in the Farmers Corner Shopping Center (the largest all-cedar building in the nation, or something like that). When you’re in the Palm Springs area, be sure to make the time to have a libation at the Fireside Lounge (page 15). Until now that we’ve blabbed about it, it’s been “the best-kept secret in Palm Springs.” Since it’s in a light industrial area near the airport, you don’t have to fight the crowds and parking problems you always encounter downtown. Those are the adventurous folks who trusted me enough to get into the first issue of this magazine, making it possible for you to read and, I hope, enjoy it. Give them your business. Be sure to visit our website. There you’ll find printable coupons and other good stuff, not to mention our bookstore of the strange and unusual. In closing: Thank you for picking up this copy of Legend & Lore. Let us know what you think of it and how we might improve on it. We welcome your comments.

Charles Wesley Orton Publisher


The History of

Toilet paper It's one of the things we take for granted--until we reach over and find...there isn't any! In this article we trace toilet paper's history from its origins in China to today, with some interesting No. 2 diversions (e.g., what famous writer told his son to use pages from classic literature for wiping?). by Everett North The Chinese, who gave the rest of the world spaghetti (a good thing), ice cream (a really good thing), gunpowder (a mixed blessing), and Pekingese dogs (the value of which depends on whom you talk to), also, as most of us know, invented paper. A natural offshoot of this invention was its use in posterior cleanliness. So, by extension, it could be said that the Chinese also invented toilet paper. The date of paper's invention is recorded as A.D. 105, but its first use in the toilet is reported as being A.D. 857 by one source and A.D. 1391 by another. The former date

The famous traveler Marco Polo spent 17 years in China starting about 1271 and wrote extensively about paper money, but nary a word about paper in the toilet. December 2010

might be closer to the truth, given that the use of toilet paper in China was reported by Suleiman al-Tajir, a Muslim traveler and merchant six years earlier, in A.D. 851: "They [the Chinese] are not careful about cleanliness, and they do not wash themselves with water when they have done their necessities; but they only wipe themselves with paper." We are also told that in the 6th century A.D., the Chinese scholar Yen Chih-t'ui, wrote (supposedly on paper): “paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from the Five Classics, or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes.” So the date of China's first use of paper for toilet purposes is vague. One thing does seem certain, however, and that is the Chinese were the first to use paper as a toilet necessity. As a side note to this report concerning using the printed word for hygiene, 1,000 years later in England, Lord Chesterfield had no such compunctions when it came to paper on which the classics were printed. In a letter to his son, he wrote, “I know a gentleman who was such a good manager of his time that he would not even lose the small portion of it which the calls of nature obliged him to pass in the On the average, a person tears off 5.9 sheets of toilet paper per visit. Legend & Lore Magazine

Legend & Lore

The Take-Me-Home Waiting Room Magazine

Published monthly by Clear Lake Media, Inc. 881 Majela Lane, Hemet, CA 92543 951-213-9556 Website www.LegendandLoreMagazine.com Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Charles Wesley Orton charles@LegendandLoreMagazine.com Advertising Sales Brian Groen Menifee, Canyon Lake, Sun City, Lake Elsinore 951-741-9998 brian@LegendandLoreMagazine.com Mike Walden Corona, Riverside, Norco, Moreno Valley 909-354-7682 mike@LegendandLoreMagazine.com Mark Freeborg Temecula, French Valley, Murrieta 909-354-7682 mike@LegendandLoreMagazine.com Charlie Blaauw Temecula, Murrieta 951-326-6507 charlie@LegendandLoreMagazine.com Charles Wesley Orton Hemet, San Jacinto. Beaumont, Banning, Palm Springs, San Diego County 951-213-9556 charles@LegendandLoreMagazine.com Subscriptions US$24/12 issues to U.S. address; US$30/12 issues to other countries. Contents copyright 2010 by Clear Lake Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 3


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The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 1973

States--particularly a shortage of gasolineDecember 19, 1973: A date that -so one could to a degree excuse the reminds us you can never underestimate reaction of the public to this joke, which the intelligence of the American public. many took seriously. By noon the next day, On that night, Johnny Carson, host of not a single store in the country had any the popular Tonight Show, cracked a joke Serving All of So. California toilet paper on the shelf. about an imminent toilet-paper shortage. Regular Hours: 9-5 M-F A few nights later, Carson told his The joke was based on news reports that Available Any Time of Day or Night viewers his statement had been a joke, the federal government was having for Consultation and Scott Paper even went on the air with difficulty getting bids from toilet-paper a video showing their toilet-paper plants suppliers. This led to the idea that maybe Z Only Veteran-Owned running at full capacity, but both efforts the United States was facing a shortage of failed to stem the toilet-paper-buying toilet paper. Mortuary in the Valley binge. So far as the American public was So Johnny Carson made the following Z Family Owned & Operated concerned, the toilet-paper shelves were observation during his monologue: “You Z No-Cost Body-Donation empty, and that spelled “shortage.” know what's disappearing from the Program Available The whole thing finally blew over after supermarket shelves? Toilet paper. There's about three weeks, when merchandisers an acute shortage of toilet paper in the Z Hospice Discount were once again able to fill their shelves United States.” Z Convenient In-Home with toilet paper. One has to remember that this was Arrangements (We Come to You) during a period of shortages in the United

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necessary house; but gradually went through all the Latin poets in those moments. He bought, for example, a common edition of Horace, off which he tore gradually a couple of E-Mail Myth A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge . "We'd like to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted. "Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave," she said to him! He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus." 4

pages, carried them with him to that necessary place, read them first, and then sent them down as a sacrifice to Cloacina [Roman goddess of sewers]: this was so much time fairly gained and I recommend you to follow his example . . . .” Back in China, the first paper made specifically for use in the E-MAIL

Legends & Myths DEBUNKED

The Founding of Stanford University The president wasn't touched. He was shocked. "Madam," he said, gruffly, "we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery." "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard." The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?” Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about. You can easily judge the character of Legend & Lore Magazine

toilet was nothing like today's perforated rolls, being single sheets measuring two feet by three feet square, and being manufactured solely for use by the emperor. Having read this tidbit, one initially wonders two things: 1) Why was it so big? Did the emperor have a huge back end?; and, 2) If made solely for others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them. The Truth From Stanford University’s website: Leland Stanford, who grew up and studied law in New York, moved West after the gold rush and, like many of his wealthy contemporaries, made his fortune in the railroads. He was a leader of the Republican Party, governor of California and later a U.S. senator. He and Jane had one son, who died of typhoid fever in 1884 when the family was traveling in Italy. Leland Jr. was just 15. Legend has it that the grieving couple said to one another after their son's death, "the children of California shall be our children," and they quickly set about to find a lasting way to memorialize their beloved son. The Stanfords visited several great universities of the East to gather ideas. An urban legend, widely circulated on the Internet but untrue, describes the couple as poorly-dressed country bumpkins who decided to found their own university only after being rebuffed in their offer to endow a building at Harvard. They did visit Harvard's president but were well-received and given advice on starting a new university in California. From the outset they made some untraditional choices: the university would be coeducational, in a time when most were allmale; non-denominational, when most were associated with a religious organization; and avowedly practical, producing "cultured and useful citizens" when most were concerned only with the former. December 2010


Diagram from Seth Wheeler’s patent application for his perforated and rolled toilet paper.

the emperor, did he hog it all and not share it with the empress?) But then we're also told the paper was cut into three-inch squares and perfumed. That answers one question, but we still don't know whether the emperor shared it with anyone. Further research reveals a slightly different story. According to another source, in the early 1300s the area of today’s Zhejiang province produced 10 million packages of 1,000 to 10,000 sheets of paper each year. That's a lot of toilet paper. If you do the math, you'll conclude this was no cottage industry. All this paper was made by hand, not by machine. So thousands of people must have been involved. Also, one could assume that all this toilet paper wasn't only for the emperor. And it would appear that it wasn't. This same source tells us that in 1393 records show that 720,000 sheets of the two-by-three toilet In the United States, each citizen uses an average of 23.6 rolls of toilet paper per year. This creates a $2.4 billion industry that sells 26 billion rolls of toilet paper annually. December 2010

Legend & Lore Magazine

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paper were produced for the imperial court, in total. Just for the emperor and his family (see he did share!), 15,000 sheets of special, perfumed soft paper was made. Interestingly enough, the famous explorer Marco Polo, who traveled to China in 1271, spent 17 years there, and returned to Europe with the secret of spaghetti and other Chinese marvels, didn't mention toilet paper at all in his writings. He spent hundreds of words on Kublai Khan's use of paper money, but not a single word on the use of paper for anal hygiene (unless one subscribes to the notion that today's paper money might as well be used as such). One could suppose that such a mention by Marco Polo might have been superfluous. One hundred years before his birth, paper was already Today, more than 5,000 different companies produce toilet paper around the world. December 2010


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being made in Sicily, so we might assume that some of it was by then finding its way to the privy, although there is no documentary evidence to that fact. Toilet paper as we know it today was, like so many inventions of the Industrial Age, the product of Yankee Ingenuity. First there was Joseph C. Gayetty of New York City, who in ADVERTISER SPOTLIGHT

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1857 began selling sheets of paper specifically for use in the toilet. He advertised his product as “Gayetty's Medicated Paper, a perfectly pure article for the toilet and for the prevention of piles.” The “medication” mentioned was aloe vera, so today's toilet papers impregnated with the same substance are not the first to do so! The paper was made from hemp and was sold in packages of 300 sheets for 50 cents. Toilet paper that was perforated and on a roll was developed--and patented by--Seth Wheeler, of Albany, N.Y., in 1871. He didn't start selling the toilet paper until 1877, however, and then it was under the aegis of his company, the

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760-805-7840 Albany Perforated Wrapping Paper Company. Each roll of Wheeler's toilet paper was, by 1884 or thereabouts, sold singly in canisters. Meanwhile, across the Pond in England, Walter Alcock introduced the pleasures of rolled, perforated toilet paper to Britons in 1879. Also in 1879, back in the U.S.A., Scott Paper Company started producing rolled and perforated toilet paper. At this early date, “toilet paper” was a sensitive moniker, so the company sold it as “Waldorf Paper,” named after the New York City hotel of the same name. It wasn't until 1935 that toilet --continued on page 14

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Toilet paper doesn’t always come on a roll. Here is a package of French toilet paper from the 1960s. (Gerard Janot, Wikimedia Commons) Legend & Lore Magazine

Solution on page 14

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The Day Grandma Burned the Outhouse Down by Everett North When I was a child, we lived in a neighborhood of modern houses with indoor plumbing, including flush toilets, but our house was the only one that didn't have either one. The house was a three-room summer cottage on the banks of the Chippewa River in Eau Claire, Wis. There was a kitchen, a small bedroom, a living room, and a glassed-in porch that overlooked the river. My parents slept on the porch. My sister and I had bunk beds in the small bedroom. We had cold running water in the kitchen. If we wanted to bathe, my mother heated water in a large teapot on the stove and poured it into the kitchen sink, mixing it with cold water from the tap to the right temperature. We would stand at the sink and take a sponge bath. In the summer, we bathed in the Chippewa River. The outhouse was in the front yard, about 40 feet from the front door, near the street. It was a oneholer. As a child, I feared sitting on that hole. I just knew there was a monster down there among all the excrement. The monster would one day pull me down there and I would disappear forever. Along with that fear was the simple fear of just somehow falling down that hole and being unable to escape. The primary reason we lived in that cottage was that my father didn't make much money. The rent on the cottage was $25 a month, one-quarter of my father's monthly take-home pay (and, to put it into perspective, this was less than half the average wage in the area at the time). My mother handled the family finances because she was more frugal than my father was. She could pinch a penny and turn it into a dime. She didn't buy toilet paper unless it was absolutely necessary. The Sears and Ward's and Penney's catalogs were just fine, thank you. The index pages of the catalogs were the first to be used because they were printed on uncoated paper similar to newsprint. You would crumple a page in your hand 10

to soften it up a bit, then use it. The rest of the catalog, with its color illustrations, were printed on coated paper. You had to spend extra special attention in crumpling these pages to make them soft. If you weren't thorough, when you wadded the page to use it a sharp corner would gouge your backside. Every summer my mother would buy a couple of crates of peaches and pears for canning. Each peach and each pear was wrapped in tissue paper. These squares of tissue paper were saved and put into the outhouse. Compared to catalog pages, these tissues were the next best thing to commercial toilet paper; probably just as good. The one thing our outhouse didn't have was art on the walls. You might think this statement humorous, but it isn't. Both sets of my grandparents, who farmed about 40 miles north of Eau Claire, and who also had no indoor plumbing, had art on the interior of their outhouse walls. Of course, this might depend on your definition of art. When you sat in their outhouses, you had the opportunity to ponder and appreciate the picture illustrating the top half of one or more wall calendars. The calendars were never for the current year. They were hung in the outhouse because either my grandfather or grandmother just liked the picture. They also would see a picture they liked in a magazine and cut it out and glue it to the outhouse wall. From the number and variety of such artworks in my maternal grandparents' outhouse, I'd venture to say they probably had the bestdecorated outhouse in all of Barron County. A final anecdote about outhouses will round off this little treatise on outdoor plumbing. My father's parents often battled. On several occasions my father's mother would get so angry she'd hitchhike into town and take a bus to Minneapolis and get a job as a waitress somewhere. A couple weeks later my grandfather would track her down and bring her back Legend & Lore Magazine

home, where they lived in dĂŠtente until the next time things blew up. track her down and bring her back home, where they lived in dĂŠtente until the next time things blew up. Although they had their difficulties, divorce was never an option. Until the day Grandma burned the outhouse down. They still used a wood-burning cook stove, and one very cold winter's day Grandma shoveled the ashes from it into a coal scuttle and dumped them down the outhouse hole. What she didn't know was that there was at least one hot coal among the ashes. A couple of hours later, the outhouse was completely involved in a five-alarm fire and was shortly reduced to charred wood fallen into and over the outhouse hole. My grandparents didn't get a divorce over this matter, but relations for a time were even colder than the temperatures outside. One thing you don't do-because you can't--is dig a new outhouse hole in the ground during the winter in northern Wisconsin. The frost level goes down to six feet. Even the Ancient Astronauts who helped the Egyptians build the pyramids would find the job difficult. Conceivably, you could auger a hole in the ground and drop a halfstick of dynamite into it and set it off. That would give you a nice hole. But my grandfather didn't know any Ancient Astronauts and he didn't have any dynamite. He just cleared up the disaster scene as well as he could and erected a jerry-built shelter around it--just enough to keep snow off the seat and the cold wind off one's buttocks. In the spring, he dug a new hole and built a brand-new outhouse. Oh, yes. When I was eight years old my mother's frugality paid off, and my parents bought an old farmhouse in Chippewa County. This house had indoor bathroom facilities--lavatory, toilet, and a real bathtub! Not until after college did I ever again live in a house without a flush toilet. But that's another story for another time and another place.

December 2010


It’s in the Numbers

December 2010

Legend & Lore Magazine

11


No Toilet Paper? No Problem! Just Grab a Goose. Or Something. Those of our readers familiar with literature of the Renaissance know that some of that literature is pretty racy. Chaucer's Canterbury Tales is chock full of dirty jokes. Bocaccio's Decameron is primarily the tale of homosexual lovers. And Rabelais' Gargantua and Pantagruel touches on--ahem--sensitive subjects. A case in point for our current purposes is the experience of Gargantua in trying various means to clean his back end after defecation. Gargantua found paper wanting, saying, “Who his foul tail with paper wipes, Shall at his ballocks leave some chips.” In the end (no pun intended) he determines that “the neck of a goose, that is well downed” is the best article to use. Whether the goose is still alive or whether the neck is still attached to the goose is a matter of conjecture. As a general rule, before toilet paper, people just used whatever was at hand: sticks, leaves, moss, wool, water, seashells, and et cetera. The ancient Romans were partial to using a sponge tied to a stick. In fact, each Roman soldier was issued his very own sponge-on-a-stick implement. The sponge was, of course, rinsed well after use. In the public toilets of Rome, these sticks were kept in a pail of brine between uses. Interestingly enough, the Roman stick has had a modern upgrade called “The

Comfort Wipe,” a “wand” that lets you wipe yourself without having to touch the toilet paper. For millennia, people in the Middle East have used their left hand (washed thoroughly afterward). Therefore, to touch a Middle Easterner with one's left hand is considered an insult. Some people also contend that this prohibition is the basis for shaking hands with the right hand, rather than with the left. European royalty during the Middle Ages and beyond used scraps of woolen cloth or linen or lace, while the rest of the populace still relied on leaves, grass, etc. In Japan, seaweed and special toilet sticks called chu-gi were used in the 8th century A.D. Later, in what is known as the Edo period (ca. 1603-1868), the Japanese followed the Chinese in developing a special toilet paper. When paper did finally become more common in the Western world, newspapers and some books, once read, were fair game for use in the privy. On the North American continent, before the proliferation of newspapers, corn cobs were the preferred item (one hopes they were fresh, rather than dried out). In the late 1800s and through the early 1900s, the pages from mail-order catalogs such as those from Sears were in great demand. As indoor plumbing became more widespread, and as incomes among all

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Featuring Buckhorn Bob’s Popcorn Palace. All natural. No preservatives. 9 flavors popped on site. Free samples: “We make your mouth feel happy!” Garcia’s Roasted Peanuts. Roasted peanuts without salt, dried fruit, flax seed, nuts, natural seeds. KG Garden Art. Drought-tolerant plants, succulents, planters, art prints. We also will plant and maintain succulents in your landscape. Tupperware from Anne. Visit us for the latest Tupperware specials and to book a home party or other Tupperware event.

Seth Wheeler’s Packaging Claims

THIS forming machinery, where all water is PAPER WILL BE removed, carrying with it all that may FOUND INVALUABLE AS have been added with a view of medicating. Only a trace is A PREVENTIVE AND CURE FOR Over 50 Vendors discoverable by chemical analysis. So - HEMORRHOIDS Something for Everyone! frequent were the calls received by us AND IS THE ONLY REALLY Organic Produce for a Medicated Toilet Paper, that we MEDICATED TOILET PAPER instituted a series of experiments to EVER PRODUCED, Honey l Eggs l Crafts determine if such an article could be MANUFACTURED ONLY BY THE Bakery Goods l Jewelry produced, and if so, whether we could ALBANY PERFORATED Hats l Kettle Corn discover a rapid process and WRAPPING PAPER CO. Pet Supplies & Lots More! machinery to manufacture it at a cost ALBANY, N.Y., U.S.A that would place it within the reach of Price per Roll of 1000 sheets, REBATE COUPON the general public. The first we have FIFTY Sun City Shopping Center $2 Back on Any Purchase demonstrated as practicable. The CENTS. Cherry Hills Blvd. at Bradley Rd. of $2 or More second, also, so far as the process and West of I-215 Redeem with Mkt Mgr manufacturing by machinery, and we Paper properly medicated is of great Featuring believe that it will be conceded that value in surgical practice, but the Buckhorn Bob’s Popcorn Palace. All natural. No preservatives. 9 flavors the value of the product, considered attempts to produce a Medicated Toilet the price, is remarkably low. There Paper have resulted only in a so-called popped on site. Free samples: “We make your mouth feel happy!” will be no question as to its being article, differing in no way from J&A Coolers. Hand-tied theme blankets and neck coolers. medicated; its appearance indcates it, ordinary paper. That Toilet Paper as a KG Garden Art. Drought-tolerant plants, succulents, planters, art prints. We and as a matter of fact fully twenty per vehicle for remedies for Hemorrhoids also will plant and maintain succulents in your landscape. cent of its weight is due to the would be of great value in that regular My Soft Sheets. Luxury sheets at an affordable price. Six-piece sets in 800, remedial agents it contains. Only those application would be assured, is 1,200, and 1,600 thread count. www.mysoftsheets.com. indorsed [sic] by the medical obvious, and innumerable attempts Tupperware from Anne. Visit us for the latest Tupperware specials and to profession are used, and of these the have been made to medicate it, but book a home party or other Tupperware event. most valued. The incorporation of so hitherto without success. Its lightness Tykes Non-Dairy Ice Cream. 12 flavors made from natural ingredients, large a percentage with the paper seeming to preclude application to the including lemon, chocolate, mango, strawberry lemonade, and more. necessarily increases its cost, but our finished sheet, all attempts have been process is so rapid, and the machinery made thro' the admixture of drugs with so efficient, that there is little the pulp. As many of the most valued additional expense. We offer this paper agents will not unite with water, few The manufacture of toilet paper today is not denuding our at a very slight advance over the price are available, and of those only the forests. Very few of the trees used for toilet-paper pulp are from of our plain paper, making due cheapest, on account of the excessive allowance for the actual cost of the amount of water with which the pulp virgin stands; most toilet paper trees, if we can use that term, are remedial agents. is diluted, preparatory to passing to the from tree farms or from second-growth stands.

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December 2010

Legend & Lore Magazine

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December Word Search: ‘Tis the Season

U N D R M M M I N C E P I E I H T N X

S F E A S T S A N T A C L A U S X I E

Y Q G R A D N E L A C P I S Q T M B Q

H Z D R A C A B P R E K C A R C S O Q

H D V W N J D G U S Y V W B Y Q S R E

S Y J N A T B L U U R T R E E F A H I

CRYPTOPINION© _ _ _ _ _ _ _ C K R F O M S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ X O D O M D R _ _ _ _ _ _ _ C H Y C P U L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ U A X X R M D _ _ --K O

T O B N T R L E S N I T H Z H O L L Y

X M J S I C T I T V A P G Y G G R Y P

J Y L I V B U X W R F L O R A C E A E

A U N N I O R T O D C E E R E W K K L

W E V I Y I E O L E T P L M T J A E Y

G T K N D N Y Y O I V U U L E N R N D

N I Z G M G G I N H E D N W L I C N N

I D R H F D I G L V Q D A I T Y C I C

K E P A H A P I I Z S I P B S C D D O

C M J O U Y G T E Q Z N C O I C Z Y X

O L T Z O H S F K R E G P X M B L A K

T O P F T E R E P M A H V E I E T H X

S G K S F N A Z K E K A C C C Q P G D

by Sylvia Platt

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ V O S D D T C D M R I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ X C G X C A H N C S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ O X O S L R S D T O _ _ _ _ _ _ R B X C A H. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ R M K O I O M S C M L

paper users could sit and wipe without fear. In that year, Northern Tissue advertised the first “splinterfree” toilet paper. During World War II, the creative types at St. Andrew's Paper Mill in England weren't letting Hitler's War distract them from innovation. In that year they introduced the first two-ply toilet paper. Most toilet paper sold today is of the two-ply In the United Kingdom, each person goes through 10 rolls of toilet paper per year, which comes to an annual market of 600-million rolls per year. 14

O L J G T X K F N L V E U E O G C R U

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variety. So that’s the history of toilet paper, a Chinese invention that has become as necessary as food and drink for most of us. And a good thing, too. Sources and Additional Information The Toilet Paper Encyclopedia, http://encyclopedia.toiletpaperworld.co m/ Toilets: Then and Now, Part 06: History of Toilet Paper, http://www.wordinfo.info/words/index /info/view_unit/3949 Legend & Lore Magazine

ADVENT BOXINGDAY SINGING CAKE DINNER EVE STOCKING CRACKER LIGHTS FESTIVE HAMPER MERRY MISTLETOE ROBIN TINSEL YULE

CALENDAR CAROL BOX CARD CRACKER PUDDING TREE FAIRY FEAST GREETING HOLLY MINCEPIE NATIVITY SANTACLAUS TURKEY YULETIDE

Toilet Tissue through the Ages, http://www.angelsoft.com/tissuehistory .html Blame it all on Johnny Carson, by Steve Silverman, http://www.theplumber.com/toiletpape rshortagefun.html The Toilet Paper Shortage of 1973, http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatt helongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/t rivia74.html Toilet Paper Shortage Because of the 2003 Southern California FiresFiction!, http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/t /toiletpaper.htm Fascinating Facts about the Invention of Toilet Paper by Seth Wheeler in 1877, http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inv entions/toiletpaper.htm Japanese toilet paper “Drop” is the scariest toilet paper you've ever seen, by Serkan Toto, http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/05/2 7/japanese-toilet-paper-drop-is-thescariest-toilet-paper-youve-ever-seen Japanese publisher prints horror novel on toilet roll, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news topics/howaboutthat/5381234/Japanese -publisher-prints-horror-novel-ontoilet-roll.html Aboriginal classic play smuggled out of jail reaches European stage after 30 years, by Ian Herbert, http://www.independent.co.uk/artsentertainment/theatredance/news/aboriginal-classic-playsmuggled-out-of-jail-reacheseuropean-stage-after-30-yearsDecember 2010


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650737.html Britons lead the way in toilet paper use, by Bruno Waterfield, 05 Feb 2007, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl dnews/1541657/Britons-lead-the-wayin-toilet-paper-use.html Hemp Paper Chronology, http://www.hempmuseum.org/SUBRO OMS/HEMP%20PAPER%20CHRON. htm 74 Interesting Facts About China, http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/0 5/04_china.html History of Toilet Paper, http://www.nobodysperfect.com/vtpm/ExhibitHall/Informa tional/tphistory.html Next Month History of the Pretzel

Legend & Lore www.legendandloremagazine.com October 2010 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know Anything About TAKE ME HOME!

From Monastery to Mall: History of the Pretzel

From Monastery to Mall. A Short History of the Pretzel: How this universal treat worked its way from an obscure medieval Italian monastery to every shopping mall in the world.

December 2010

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Toilet Paper As Literature and Advertising The printed word in the form of books, catalogs, and newspapers was never meant to be used in the privy, although people certainly found that a good use for it. Recently, however, some toiletpaper manufacturers turned the tables, in a manner of speaking. They are manufacturing toilet paper with slogans, pictures of politicians (just choose the ones you don't like), and actual stories. A case in point is the short story Drop, written by Koji Suzuki, Japan's answer to Stephen King. The entire story is printed on rolls of toilet paper and takes up about three feet of the stuff. Here we have a situation tailor made for the person who likes to read while seated on the porcelain throne. It's also very good for Hayashi Paper Corporation, the toilet-paper manufacturer, since each reader is going to use at least three feet of toilet paper, which is quite a bit more than the average 20 inches most people use at one sitting. Suzuki's short story is not the first venture into readable toilet paper for Hayashi Paper. It previously printed rolls with earthquake-survival information. Cervantes wrote Don Quixote while in prison, Adolph Hitler wrote Mein Kampf while in prison, and Kevin Gilbert wrote the play, The Cherry Pickers while in prison. The big difference among these three is that Gilbert wrote his play on toilet paper and smuggled it from an Australian Legend & Lore Magazine

Bored on the throne? Solve a sudoku puzzle!

prison where he was serving a life sentence for murdering his wife. (Most of us will probably agree Hitler should have written his opus on toilet paper, too.) The play premiered in Australia 30 years after the play was written, and one year after Gilbert died. Toilet paper featuring business advertising, interesting designs, slogans, and even one's monogram has become quite popular. A good source for a wide selection of such novelty toilet paper is a New Jersey company called Just Toilet Paper (http://www.justtoiletpaper.com/). Go on over there and browse. You'll be amazed at what they have to offer. If nothing else, be sure to read the article, “Entertaining in the Bathroom.” 15


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