Page 1

Volume 2





this issue

an Entertainment, Social, Community Magazine with YOU in Mind


Ponnen Pienaar & Associates National Wills Week

Dr Leanne Reddy

Talks on Robin Williams

Kip McGrath

Education Centres Queensburgh


STOTT Respected Durban Artist

Making Waves in the Art World

Solo Exhibition Liquid Light: Forms Drawn from Water, reflecting on the social and symbolic value of water. Opens at artSPACE Durban on 8 September until 27 September. Feature Page 4-5

Fashion Health & Sport Home & Gardens Parenting Travel Food Money Matters Entertainment Teen Education

Be the Change!


Note from the Publisher Change Season

Letters to theEditor Talking Change

Hello ChangeNOW Supporters

I love the way our readers are reacting to the ChangeNOW Brand

Thank you Debra Maddocks and the Tyson Properties Team for embracing us on our August Cover, we wish you good health, lasting prosperity and continued growth.

It is Spring time, time for change!

As the leaves we saw fall and flowers we saw wilt are now budding into lush, green, picture perfect plant, we tend to plan our days and weekends differently. Our focus changes from the lulling moods due to dark, cold wintery winters, to brighter, energetic days of Springtime with cook outs and long awaited outdoor activities. Aside from the weather’s transformations that occur in the spring season, we are transforming our lives too. With the changes the Spring season brings, we learn to adapt positively to the changes in our environment and our health. No more lounging on the couch all weekend, watching sports or catching up on your series, you can now gather your friends and spend the time outdoors, picnicking or hiking in the lush parks Durban has to offer. Nothing is better than a day at the beach, looking out into the endless ocean or building sand castles with your kids. As Spring signifies growth, our thoughts should create ideas of growth in our businesses, our country’s economy, employment, healthcare systems. Take this spring season as a chance to participate in some community service, tending simultaneously to your environment as well as yourself. Help write a chapter of new beginning this Spring in creating positive outcomes for all areas of nature, development of our city and our health.

Be Safe & Believe in YOU! Publisher - Raj Maree Spread the Word. Be the Change.

– Raj Maree

Dear Publisher / Editor

I have been reading ChangeNow magazine for the past few months and I look forward to picking up my copy at the Westville Village Mall every month. I am enjoying the articles, the uplifting editorials on how we can better ourselves, by making better choices and embracing Change. Your columnists Dr Reddy and Christina Ponnen provides us with great insight on health and legal issues. Keep up the great work! “ChangeNow Magazine inspires me to be a better person” Selina Otez - Westville

Dear ChangeNOW Magazine,

Thank you for a wonderful free magazine. My husband always picks up a copy for us, as well as for my son’s family as it is a great read for the entire family. I love the recipes and have tried out quite of few of them, as I am an avid cook. Your young writer Tasha Lee is phenomenal and is a great inspiration to the young and old. She is so current with her findings. Sharon Chetty – Queensburgh

Dear Sir,

I would like to tell you your magazine is great! Interesting articles and advertisements. - Thank you. Mary Carey

If you enjoy reading ChangeNOW Magazine and want to be a part of the Change Generation, write to us



Raj Maree


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Bernice Stott Set Fire to the Rain: Street Child Surfer For five years the artist was the chairperson and a director of a street children’s organization. Through employing a full time surfing instructor, many street children engaged in the surfing programme. It was a transforming experience for them, they were able to kick their glue sniffing addictions, become healthy and have a new purpose in life through the sport. Many competed locally and others travelled overseas through the programme.

Bernice Stott

Respected Durban Artist

Art making feeds my soul: it is a place of meditation yet it provides me with an engagement of both my internal and external life.


Figure: L1320 x W730 x D700 Plinth: L800 x W610 x D610

Contributor - Illa Thompson

Respected Durban artist Bernice Stott is hosting a solo exhibition, Liquid Light: Forms Drawn From Water, reflecting on the social and symbolic value of water, which opens at artSPACE durban on Monday 8 September where it runs until 27 September. “The work in the exhibition alludes to a re-mythologizing of the mystique of water to counter a laissez-faire contempt for the earth’s water supplies. These works derive their inspiration from water’s unceasing ability to change shape and transform itself. Water is the liquid counterpart of light and seems to be the element out of which everything can be born,” she considers. Providing context to the exhibition, Stott further explains that “71% (percent) of the earth is blue - covered in water. Today, water has become a saleable commodity known as the ‘Blue Gold of the Future’ and is third in line to oil in its economic value. It is predicted that our sixth great extinction of life on earth will arise through water shortage.” Stott uses her art to communicate pertinent social issues. She has long been intrigued with the relationship between the female form and the world we inhabit and how this relationship is played out in mind, body and spirit. In Liquid Light: Forms Drawn From Water, Stott explores particularly our relationship with water as an embodiment of the environment. A keen surfer in her youth and a greater lover of the sea, Stott took her cue from the title of a song by British singersongwriter Adele, Set Fire to the Rain to evoke her passion for water. In this exhibition, the artist is attempting to represent water‘s liquidity in solid form: sculpture. Typically photography and painting are mediums more closely able to do this through their more traditional ability to capture light. “Water is the source and grave of all things in the universe.

During a trip to the Eastern Cape in summer, I saw torrential rivers in flood bubbling with mud and branches. Flooding and water scarcity are paradoxical situations for Africa and conservation of water remains a huge challenge for the continent. A large concrete wave (the mud of the Earth) flings up branches. It is supported by a galvanised steel metal frame and is visually counter balanced by a round bar “wave” with mosquito netting stretched and sewn into it.

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All waters are associated with birth and are symbolic of the Great Mother; the universal womb and the feminine principle. As prima material, water is refreshment, fertility and the fountain of life. We respond to the ebb and flow of the tides, the circulatory movement of blood, the sap of life in plants as opposed to the dryness and static condition of death,” Stott reflects. “In the universal origin myths water is always present. In Greek philosophy, water was believed to be the original substance that all things were made from. Jewish, Christian and Islamic origin myths agree it is the original substance. Water is a sacred element in Hinduism and in many other polytheistic religions. In Christian symbolism, water signifies regeneration; renewal; cleansing; sanctification and baptism. In many other cultures water is of great significance in magic or religious rites. It is revered as the power of life and death a symbol of life-giving and life-destroying; it can both unite and divide.” Stott responds to these contemplations with a series of sculptures in mixed media – all looking at water – from birth to the moon; from fish to tides; from waves to mythology. Water is considered literally, spiritually and symbolically in this intriguing and bold one-woman exhibition. • Stott has completed a post graduate degree in Drama which was followed by a Masters in Fine Arts at Durban University of Technology. She has been teaching in the Drama and Performance Studies Department (UKZN) for several years. Stott says, “Art making feeds my soul: it is a place of meditation yet it provides me with an engagement of both my internal and external life.” • artSPACE durban: 3 Millar Road. Karen Bradtke, Director Claus Bradtke, Manager Tel: 031-312 0793 Gallery Hours: Mon - Fri 9h00-17h00 Sat and Pub Hols 9h00-14h00 • The walkabout is on Saturday 13 September at 11.00 am.

Making Waves in the Art World Solo Exhibition > Liquid Light: Forms Drawn from Water Sea Dive

Aqueous Fish

This work arose from a play making project with my drama students exploring stereotypes of people e.g. “Black people don’t swim.” Through watching swimmers in pools and the sea, my observation contradicted this particular stereotype. I used materials associated with African craft to heighten the visual irony of the stereotype.

Fish movements are mesmerising. Dreams are like little fish waiting to be hooked up from the unconscious to the conscious, to be understood. We all wait patiently at the shore of consciousness for the fishlike revelations. An exhibition of Paul Klee’s work at the Tate Modern (January 2014) inspired this fish series. “Capable of drifting into artistic reverie as if gently slipping underwater, Klee noted in his diary that his painting were like dreams flowing beneath the waking surface of life.” Ed Martin, K and Ronnberg, A. 2010. The Book of Symbols.

L530 x W400 x D210 - x3

71% (percent) of the earth is blue - covered in water. Today, water has become a saleable commodity known as the ‘Blue Gold of the Future’ and is third in line to oil in its economic value. It is predicted that our sixth great extinction of life on earth will arise through water shortage. [ChangeNOW Exclusive Interview with Bernice Stott] I must say, that you are quite an acclaimed fine artist to have been involved in such extensive solo or group exhibitions showcasing your work both nationally and internationally. How has your exhibitions evolved your work?

Exhibitions have given me more confidence and helped me to address the issues of working consistently and keeping productive.

Your solo exhibition, Liquid Light: Forms Drawn from Water, how was this concept born?

As a teenager, I was a surfer and in love with the ocean. My son, Rylan focused on waste water purification in his biotechnology university studies. When Blaise, my second son graduated he became a green economist specialising in climate mitigation. At home, the many conversations around the dinner table were about water as a social issue, my interest grew because of their sway.

Which artists or professionals have been your influences?

Many artists and professionals have influenced me; it is difficult to single out people. Andries Botha and George Holloway as sculptors have had the most recent impact on my development as a sculptor. Lliane Loots, the choreographer/dancer and founder of Flatfoot Dance Company is for me, a model of female imagination and artistic integrity.

What has been the challenges that you have faced as a fine artist?

Countless forces align on the side of not creating. I have

needed to become a creativity self –coach which requires me to renew every day, the pact I have made with myself; my creativity matters.

What advice would you like to give to young up and coming artists?

As Stravinsky said “I can’t wait for inspiration, I have to work ahead of it”. Somehow all the best ideas come out of the process. Be playful and be prepared to discard some of the rubble. Most importantly have a supportive relationship with yourself.

Apart from exhibitions, where can we find your work? Are you listed with any art dealers?

Art Source South Africa are my agents and my website is my go-to project when I have finished this exhibition!

What do you enjoy more painting or sculpting?

Each of them gives me different satisfaction. I majored in painting and I have been painting longer than I have been making three dimensional work. It feels more familiar. Sculpture draws out the learner in me to find out how to do it. Traditional modes of sculpture have been hugely challenged by digital technology and new materials emerging on the market.

Which is your favourite piece that you have created ?

It is a painting of myself as a child taken from a photograph. Deeply personal, it captures the quintessence of my childhood. 083 343 8994 • 031 209 8436 •

Photo credits: Andrew Griffin Photographer • +27 83729 5239 • •

L750 x W400x D750

Looking healthy and being in great shape is important. As a fitness professional myself, I can’t stress enough the benefits of exercising and how it benefits all facets of our life. But, your appearance isn’t the only metric that matters in this world. Looks don’t last forever, they fade over time. Having a superficial mindset limits you on the great people you can meet in this world. A healthy look is important, but displaying great character and personality is most important.Great character and personality isn’t defined by how much you deadlift, how much you weigh, or how much money you have. You can look good while adding value to your character and personality by improving on these areas below:

The Simplest Ways To Look Good Without CHANGING Your Appearance

Be your own person Do you sacrifice your identity to fit in with the mainstream? Do you get uncomfortable going against the majority? Are you a sheep who blends in with the flock? Or, are you a wolf, who stands out from the pack? Being yourself is about having your own ideas, opinions, and thoughts. Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and hobbies, regardless of what everyone else thinks. No need to put a mask on and be someone else. Be 100 percent independent We rely on others for support and decision making too often. Putting your happiness, along with other facets of life, in the hands of others in hopes of discovering fulfillment is a terrible idea. It’s up to you and only you to discover fulfillment and happiness. Take responsibility






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CHANGENOW MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 2014 for your life and make decisions without relying on someone else. Free yourself from hanging in the birdcage.

more beautiful to the world when you quit seeking validation from the world. Your approval is the only jury.

Be positive No one wants to hang out with a negative Nancy. Being negative brings no value to your life.Stressful events will occur, but you can control how you respond to those stressful situations. Will you be negative (the easy way out) or will you find the silver lining? Positive people attract other positive people. You are the company that you keep.

Be kind At times, we’re stressed, frustrated, confused, annoyed, and mad at various things in life. We take our frustrations out on the world. Admit it, you’ve taken to social media to share a nasty opinion on something that made you mad. You’ve treated a stranger like dog poo because you were having a bad day and got stuck in traffic. Who wants to hang out with people who are ugly, selfish, and treats others less than human? Practice compassion and sympathy, instead of reacting negatively to situations or talking about someone.

Be confident “You’re awesome”. I wake up every morning, telling myself this in the mirror as I prepare to tackle the world. Not to be narcissistic, but to remind myself that I’m good enough and deserve good things. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing what everyone else is doing, then feeling inadequate afterwards. Whether it’s fitness and being lean enough; climbing the corporate ladder; working on your new business or going after that girl, who you fear is out of your league. Take a step back from this noisy world, and choose yourself. Remember, you’re good enough already. Keep your chin up, shoulder back, and walk like the superstar you are. Be comfortable without the spotlight It’s not always going to be about you. The sooner you realize this, the better your life is going to get. People who are comfortable with themselves don’t need constant attention in order to feel wanted. You become much

Be passionate about something (anything!) It’s sad to meet people who are going through the motions of life without anything that is getting them excited. Passion is an attribute that everyone finds sexy and magnetic. Passionate people have energy and enthusiasm that rubs off on anyone they run into. Everyone wants to be around passionate people. It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, it matters that you’re doing something about it. Be bold and adventurous Don’t be that person whose full of regret. If only they did ‘this & that’, then life would be this way. There’s people who dream and take action. However, there’s people who dream and keep dreaming, failing to take action. We call those people pretenders.


The most attractive people in this world are those who understand life is about exploration and self-discovery. Staying within our comfort zones is not an option. People who continue to improve themselves and take chances are more attractive than those who sit back and wish for everything. Be decisive and act with intention Knowing what you want out of life and taking action towards it are qualities that will increase anyone’s attractiveness. Being hesitant, timid, and afraid to take action are qualities of people who are insecure. Decide what you want and go after it with relentlessness. Acting with intention shows you have purpose and confidence, which anyone of quality will find irresistible. Practice gratitude “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson It’s easy to forget the simple things in life and take for granted things such as: breathing, health, friends, music, knowledge, freedom, food, and many others. We become pre-occupied with our daily struggles and focus on what we don’t have, that we forget to give thanks to what we already have. People who are grateful for what they have are happier and more attractive, since it’s not always about adding superficial items and keeping up with the Jones’s.

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BMW International Polo Series 2014 International Polo Series to debut BMW i3 and i8 ahead of SA launch

Midrand - Style, sophistication and prestige have come to define the annual BMW International Polo Series. This exhilarating tournament is set to kick off with the first test at the Durban Shongweni Club on 7 September 2014 and the second test at the spacious Waterfall Polo Estate, Johannesburg on 14 September 2014.

This year marks a milestone in the event’s heritage as BMW South Africa celebrates its 25-year partnership with the South African Polo Association. “As one of the longest-running consecutive sports sponsorships in South Africa, we are yet again proud to be part of the 2014 tournament. Our brand represents dynamism, innovation and beautiful aesthetics. With that, the characteristics of the BMW International Polo Series certainly mirror the BMW core values,” said Mr Antonio Antela Martinez, BMW South Africa’s Director of Sales and Marketing. “This year will also mark the first official public appearance of the BMW i3 and BMW i8 ahead of their local launch next year. With these cars, the BMW Group is revolutionising individual

mobility,” added Martinez. The BMW i3 is the first “born electric” premium vehicle to combine customerfriendly electromobility with typical BMW driving pleasure in an urban environment. On the other hand, the BMW i8 is the BMW Group’s first plug-in hybrid vehicle and combines the driving performance of a high-performance sports car with the fuel consumption and emissions of a small car. The BMW i3 and BMW i8 will go on sale in South Africa in March 2015. This year spectators can look forward to the compelling tests that will see the USA national polo team and recently announced South African team compete for victory. The American visitors have previously toured South Africa and have been victorious on three of their five visits. “The synergy of controlled speed, passion and highly-developed skills shared by BMW’s fleet of magnificent cars and South Africa’s top-rated polo players combine to make our partnership a perfect match,” commented Mr Mark Davies, President of the South African Polo Association.

“We have enjoyed fantastic backing from BMW for 25 years and this has enabled us to grow and expand the development of both the sport and the event, which is the envy of polo associations all over the world,” he continued. Tickets for the match at the Shongweni Club will start from R80 per person for the West Bank General Admission and R50 per person for the East Bank General Admission.

National Wills Week


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With spring, we think of new beginnings. Of new life. Fresh green leaves on the trees, little lambs frolicking in the fields, birds singing as their young leave the nest.

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It’s a funny thing that spring brings with it a desire to make changes, to freshen up. We talk of “spring cleaning.” Some old things we no longer use, get pensioned. This makes room for new things to take their place. Maybe we freshen up the walls with paint. Now that often means the curtains need to change. Or new bright cushions need to be invited in to give a new look to the lounge. We look at our cupboards. Out go some clothes, too small or too big or too out-of-date. In come some new shirts, blouses, skirts, and trousers. We may take a look at ourselves. Change our diet, go for exercise, take up a new hobby, read new books. All of these make for changes of a different kind- changes for ourselves. Life takes on an additional sparkle and, like the birds, we sing – maybe just an inner song. We are in the flow of the abundance of nature … of spring, of new growth, and new life. And we give thanks!

Mariannhill Monastery Family Market The Mariannhill Monastery Family Market is back But this time it is Bigger and Better. With a variety of different Stalls, Entertainment and Tours around the Monastery.

Fun for the Entire Family! Time : 9.00am – 13.00pm Date: EVERY Saturday.

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What is a Will? A Will is a specialised document containing instructions about the distribution of the testator/ testatrix’s (person making the Will) property upon their death. Any person aged 16 years and older who is mentally capable of appreciating the consequences of their actions at the time of making the Will is competent to make a Will. For a Will to be valid it must be executed and witnessed in accordance with legal requirements. Why is a Will important? Guardianship of your minor children, if any, might the most important reason to make a Will. It is important to nominate a person who you wish to become the guardian of your children should you and your spouse pass away. It is also advisable that you tell that person of your wishes. Another important reason to make a Will is that it presents you with an opportunity to acknowledge and provide security for your loved ones and to provide gifts to charities close to your heart, should you wish to do so. What happens if you fail to leave a Will? If you fail to leave a Will or you leave an invalid Will, your estate will devolve in terms of the rules of intestate succession. Your Minor children’s inheritance will go into the Guardian’s Fund, a state controlled body. What happens if you do not amend your will after divorce? A bequest to your wife will not fall away upon divorce. A divorced must have a new will drafted after the divorce otherwise your divorced spouse will benefit as indicated in the Will. Types of Wills Standard: A Will made by one party. Joint Will: A joint Will is made by two parties, usually spouses. The joint Will stipulates that in the event of one of the parties passing away, the estate will be left to the surviving party. The Will also stipulates what will happen to the estate when the surviving party passes away or if both parties pass away simultaneously. Appointing an executor Every deceased estate must have an executor. You may choose anyone you wish to, to be the executor. If the testator/ testatrix fails to appoint an executor in his/her Will, the Master of the High Court will appoint an executor on your behalf and this can create in delay in the administration of your estate. Special Bequests Giving a special bequest to someone is one of the important reasons for leaving a Will. Here you can leave money to the charities that you wish to amongst other things. Please note that you must set out specific details so that your estate can devolve in the manner that you want it to. Trusts A testamentary trust derives from the valid Will of a deceased. A testamentary trust can provide a way for the minor children’s inheritance to be protected until the minor children are capable of fending for themselves. IMPORTANT! It is National Wills Week 15-19 September 2014. Contact us to have a basic will drafted for FREE during this period.

Pick & Pay Hyper 5km Fun Run/ Walk to raise funds for The Sunflower Fund The run/walk starts at the Amphitheatre in front of SUNCOAST and goes along the boardwalk to the Durban Spa Vacation Resort and back. Pre-registration is recommended. Registration takes place at Pick n Pay Hyper in Durban North on Saturday, 6th and 13th September between 10am to 5pm and at Suncoast Casino, Hotels and Entertainment, outside Mugg & Bean on the Boardwalk on Saturday, 13th September from 1pm to 3pm and at the SUNCOAST SunZone on the morning of the race, Sunday, 14th September, from 7.30am to 9.00am. Prize-giving will take place directly after the race and five substantial lucky draw prizes will be awarded. People of all ages and fitness levels are encouraged to participate as all money raised will be used to help children and young adults diagnosed with leukaemia. Come join in the fun and help The Sunflower Fund reach their target of 3000 participants.

Celebrating an Incredibly Successful Sunflower Fund Golf Day in association with Rodel Financial Services and Tyson Properties. On Tuesday, 5th August, 172 golfers played in perfect conditions at Mount Edgecombe Country Club. The R127 052 raised will give hope to more patients requiring a bone marrow stem cell transplant as funds will be used to recruit more committed, healthy donors to the South African Bone Marrow Registry. The larger the Registry the more chance children and young adults, diagnosed with leukaemia, have of finding their lifesaving match. It was the eighth consecutive year that Rodel Financial Services was the main sponsor.

Bashni Govender, Naritha Kasavalu, Thevi Naidoo and Kanthi Naidoo

Nico Smith from Round Table Southern Africa with The Sunflower Fund's Allison Naidoo and Stephanie Berry and Pushie Pillay from Pick n Pay Hyper are getting ready for the Hyper 5km Fun Run/ Walk for Charity on Sunday, 14th September starting at 9.30am. The entry fee is R50 and includes a Sunflower Bandana.

The Sunflower Fund would like to thank Pick n Pay Hyper, SUNCOAST and Round Table Southern Africa for making the event possible and for their ongoing support. For more information contact The Sunflower Fund Durban Office on 031 266 1148 or email Allison Naidoo on

Tyson Properties was this year’s co-sponsor with Vibrant Direct so ably assisting The Fund with registration and raffle sales on the day. John Allan compered the evening and entertained all during prize giving and dinner with his many rugby stories. After a really moving tribute from parent, Baron Tanner who lost his son last year to leukaemia at the age of 16, a successful prize giving and auction was conducted.

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DEPRESSION The sad passing of actor Robin Williams on 11/08/2014 came as a shock to the world. More so was the fact that he ended his own life, having suffered with Depression for years. Tinseltowns’ classic comedian, always with a smile upon his face – afflicted by the silent killer, Depression. Depression is more common in females than males with the average age of onset being 40. Of note, there is a slight increase during adolescence (for the child and parent!!!).The underlying cause is thought to be due to an imbalance of chemical neurotransmitters in the brain. There is,however, also a genetic predisposition. A few of the common symptoms include a feelings of sadness or emptiness; decreased interest in previously pleasurable activities; decreased/increased appetite with weight loss/gain; insomnia/ excessive sleeping; tiredness ; feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt; inability to concentrate; thoughts of death. There are also other features that can mask underlying depression eg. Ongoing/recurrent gastrointestinal, cardiac or back pain for which no cause can be determined; school difficulties, antisocial behaviour; substance abuse; poor hygiene and even memory loss, confusion in the elderly. So you see – depression may not be a straightforward diagnosis. It often involves getting to know the person well, observing them and involving their families in the diagnosis and treatment thereof.


Treatment of depression is multifaceted and long term. It involves the use of medication eg antidepressants together with cognitive behaviour therapy, group and family therapy. The antidepressants can take from 4-6 weeks to establish an effective level in the body and this should be maintained for at least 6 months to be effective. Long term therapy in necessary to prevent relapses.

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In memory of Robin Williams… who made us laugh until we cried!



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A recent issue of Keeping up with ADHD, the newsletter of the Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support group of Southern Africa, has this advice on praise and encouragement: Encouragement and praise might at first glance seem like the same thing, but they are actually very different.


Praise is usually linked to the result rather than effort, for example “Your project was the best ever – it’s brilliant!” Praise is usually only given to very capable children – those with ADHD are far less likely to receive it. Too much praise can stunt confidence and discourage learning. Excessive praise often loses meaning, and loses its force. When everything is wonderful, then nothing is… The hidden message in praise is that children are only worthwhile when they do what is wanted from them. Praise is also judgemental, and children who are frequently praised feel frequently judged. This works against them developing their own judgements. Praise usually creates a dependence on adult approval. All the child learns from typical praise is how best to please adults. Possible results are that they learn to measure their worth by their ability to conform. In some cases they rebel instead.


All children can benefit from encouragement, which focuses on the effort rather than the results. For example, “I can see that you put a lot of work into this – well done!” Most of us can recall teachers who used praise that meant much more than just compliments. The message that encouragement sends to the child is that people trust him to become responsible and independent. Possible results include children learning the courage to be imperfect. They are more likely to develop self-confidence and learn to feel responsible for their own behaviour. Dr John Taylor, a US child psychologist, gives this advice. Here’s how to build children’s self-esteem while challenging them to reach their potential:

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Encouragement is more than just words

Words are just one of many different things giving clues of the underlying attitude of a person who is encouraging another. Their tone of voice, their actions, opinions, as well as their psychological atmosphere give further clues. All these things affect the spoken word, with the result that the message can be either encouraging or discouraging – even though the same words have been used.

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Encouragement is not a gimmick

There is nothing sneaky, tricky, or phony about it. Encouragement is more like “food” than “medicine”. A steady “diet” of encouragement over a long enough period of time will strengthen the child (or adult) and help them cope better during stress. They would also be less likely to lose self-esteem under stress. Encouragement involves a balance between independence and dependence. Encouraging actions and statements can be combined. A combination of encouraging actions and statements “bathes” children in encouraging influences.


Encouragement is love

Encouragement helps children feel good about themselves and others. Self-love and love of others are forms of the same love-energy. People who experience encouragement can learn to encourage themselves. They evaluate themselves and their progress; and depend less on feedback from others.

When encouraging words can be discouraging

In some situations, encouraging phrases could stifle feelings and block communications, making these words discouraging. The way to deal with this would be to give: (a) An opportunity for feelings to be aired. (b) Empathy and asking “… and then?” Encouragement is contrary to many roles and traditions in our society. Our society is generally highly discouraging. * Information adapted from an article titled Encouragement – Some Points to Remember. Visit

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Celebrate Spring & Outdoor Grilling

Curry & Ginger-Rubbed Lamb Chops with Apricot-Lime Sauce The sweet tang of the Apricot-Lime Sauce contrasts with and balances the earthy, hot flavors of the curry-ginger paste. The sauce and paste make a versatile combination that's equally suited to grilled beef or pork.

Apricot-Lime Sauce


• 2 1/2 tablespoons curry powder • 1 1/2 tablespoons minced peeled fresh ginger • 1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 1/8 teaspoon black pepper • 8 (6-ounce) lamb shoulder chops, trimmed • 1/2 cup Apricot-Lime Sauce

• 2/3 cup apricot preserves / jam • 1/2 cup fresh lime juice (about 2 limes) • 1/3 cup raisins • 1/3 cup chopped fresh mint • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar • 1/4 cup tomato sauce • 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce • 1 tablespoon hot sauce • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper



Prepare grill. Combine the curry, ginger, oil, salt, and pepper, rub paste evenly over lamb. Place lamb on grill rack, and cook 4 minutes. Turn lamb, brush with 1/4 cup Apricot-Lime Sauce. Cook for 4 minutes. Turn lamb, and brush with 1/4 cup sauce. Cook 2 minutes, turning once.

Melt the preserves in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Remove from heat.


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Buzz Places Around Durban Tonic

offers a great pop-up restaurant for Durbanites that are longing for foodie adventures! Contributor Shirley Berko Durban was the host to the International Union of Architects World Congress, the UIA2014 4-7th August. This occasion has been the catalyst to the launch of all sorts of wonderful things, such as Rivertown, and yielding offshoot initiatives like Instawalks, markets and, delightedly, pop up restaurants. Zak & Tonic had positioned their little pop-up restaurant at a rooftop garden in the middle of Durban’s busy CBD. This garden intrigued me because after some research I discovered that it’s an initiative, called Priority Zone, that has been in existence since 2010. And I had no idea. It is situated on top of an “eco-bulding”, one that utilizes rain water, worm farms, vegetable tunnels, solar energy, recyclable materials and a “green roof” by growing edibles and indigenous succulents. It is a 1300m² urban farm. It is awesome. Zak & Tonic are two friends who are passionate about delicious food. They decided to pursue their foodie dreams through their newly formed food platform aptly named after themselves - “Zak &

Tonic.”... friends & lovers of pure, good, food. They served breakfasts, and it was a fab spot for a late lunch.This was a fabulous setting to grab some nosh, enjoy the breeze and be surrounded by the city skyline while downing an ice tea. The murals were as notable as the surrounding greenery and view. A lot of love has gone into this place. To me this was largely been a hidden gem. “We were completely overrun with people on day one (Monday 4th) - in fact so much so that we sold out our supplies and had to go re-stock and cook in prep for the rest of the week. Many would think- how chaotic or disorganized... we beg to differ! We are super proud of our lovingly prepared fresh food and we quite honestly couldn't have done more to prepare for the numbers that hit 77 Monty Naicker as they did over the four days!Exclaims Tam Kirkwood, aka Tonic. Durbanites are longing for foodie adventures! Zak & Tonic announced to many recently that they have now launched their series of monthly pop up events. The objective is to provide yummy extraordinary food - their spin on certain nationalities cuisines or cooking styles. Zak & Tonic will also share all sorts of other exciting foodie (ad)ventures and it looks like there will be a many more after the huge success of the roof top restaurant at 77 Monty Naicker Road.

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Pets Could Benefit Your Children Should you get your children that puppy or kitten that they’ve been asking for? Research has shown that there are many benefits to owning a pet. Evidence suggests that it is to your children’s advantage to have a pet, but you should also consider whether it will be to the animal’s advantage to form a part of your household. Your choice of pet (and the decision whether to get a pet at all) will depend on how much time, energy, money and space you and your children have to offer it. Your children’s ages and the amount of responsibility they will be able to take with regards to the pet, will also play a significant role. This handy little quiz from Discovery Kids lets you answer questions about your lifestyle and pet preferences and then tells you what animal will work for you. It might give you some idea as to what kind of pet to get – however, it is not always extremely accurate. More on how to choose a pet in an upcoming blog post. For now, let’s have a look at the benefits of owning an animal.


These days children spend a lot of time in front of the television or computer. Depending on the type of pet, a furry friend could get your children up and about, which would provide the exercise a growing child needs. “Whether it is to walk the dog, bring the rabbit out to munch on some fresh greens or to push the guinea pig around in a toy stroller, pets get kids outside to exercise,” writes Susan Cumberland for School is Easy. From experience I can add running and pulling a string behind you for your kitten to catch. It’s the cutest thing, and you’ll soon be breathless from exercise and laughing!

Improved health

The stress relief that pets provide is

beneficial to your health and that of your children. The therapeutic effects of stroking a pet, fulfilling the “basic human need to touch”, should not be underestimated, writes Lawrence Robinson and Jeanne Segal on HelpGuide. org. “Playing with a pet can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, which calm and relax.”

that strengthens the child’s immune system. Fields also reports that, according to some studies, “babies with dogs or cats at home have fewer colds and ear infections during their first year than babies living in pet-free homes”.

This is probably why studies have found that “People with pets have lower blood pressure in stressful situations than those without pets”. The American Heart Association has even linked the ownership of pets to “a reduced risk for heart disease and greater longevity,” Robinson and Segal report. When pet owners do have heart attacks, research suggests that they survive longer than those who do not have animals. Parents might be worried that pets will actually cause more health problems than they help to reduce. What about the allergies? And germs? Kids Health does warn that there is the chance that dogs and cats can spread infections. “For example, pets that are often outdoors easily pick up ticks, which can carry diseases such as Lyme disease.” But they are adamant that “this shouldn’t stop you from owning a dog or cat”. You simply need to use effective preventative treatments.

When a child is going through a difficult time, a pet can provide emotional support. “A pet can be a wonderful comforter and companion,” writes Cumberland. This is supported by the fact that a study highlighted by Jason G. Goldman in an article for Scientific American found that “those kids who turned to their pets for emotional support were less anxious and withdrawn than those who didn’t”. Children feel that animals will never judge them and will always love them unconditionally. That is why “kids can even open up and share their deepest feelings with their pets that they might not be comfortable sharing with anyone else”. This can be a valuable emotional outlet. The emotional development of children can be improved by owning pets, writes Goldman. They develop self-esteem and empathy. He highlights a recent paper by researcher Megan K Mueller of the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University, titled “Is Human-Animal Interaction (HAI) Linked to Positive Youth Development?”. The article, based on her examination of the data from a longitudinal study, finds that “the higher the level of attachment between a teenager and animals, the higher they scored on measurements of emotional connectedness in general”. Furthermore, “adolescents who had animal experience were more likely to see themselves as important contributors to their communities, such as taking on leadership roles in organizations, or doing community service”.

In fact, research has found that, “babies raised in families that have pets may be less likely to get allergies and asthma”. Lisa Fields writes on WebMD that if a baby is exposed to a dog and/ or cat before the child is six month old, he/she might not develop allergies or asthma. Scientist Susan Lynch explains in an article by David Heitz for Healthline that “the theory is that dogs introduce organisms from the outside into homes, exposing children to germs and bacteria they otherwise might not experience until later in life”. It is actually the exposure to germs and bacteria

Emotional development and support

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Juliana Weiss-Roessler writes on the dog whisperer Cesar Millan’s website, Cesar’s Way, that dogs teach children about love and loyalty. “There are few (if any!) species on earth that boast the devotion that comes naturally to a dog. Coming home to that happy face and wagging tail every day without fail can help your child develop confidence and self-esteem.” Animals are often vulnerable and dependent on us. Sometimes they get sick and eventually they will become old and frail. From this, your children will learn patience and compassion, Weiss-Roessler writes. These values will permeate to their interactions with “those who suffer from disabilities, the elderly, and younger children”.

Education and reading

In 2012, psychologist Gail F. Melson found that owning a pet improves a

More recently studies have found that pets can help children with autism and other learning difficulties. “Autistic children often rely on nonverbal cues to communicate, just as pets do. And learning to first connect with a cat or dog, for example, may even help an autistic child in their interactions with people,” writes Robinson and Segal. It is also believed that “playing and exercising with a pet can help a child with learning disorders stay alert and attentive throughout the day”. As was pointed out earlier, interaction with pets reduces stress – exactly what children with learning disabilities need with they feel frustrated by the challenges that they face. Children who are learning to read, and especially those who have a bit of trouble mastering the skill, have been used in studies to examine the effectiveness of reading to a pet. “This can be a fun experience for kids especially if they get nervous reading in front of other kids and adults,” writes Cumberland. This exercise could help them become better readers. There are many benefits to owning pets, but still the decision shouldn’t be taken lightly. Choose wisely and do what’s best for not only your children but also for the potential pet. Remember, if it is not possible for you to have your own pet, your children could still experience the benefits of this special human-animal relationship with pets belonging to family or friends.

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If your children want a pet, they’ll have to take responsibility for caring for it. Responsibility is one of the values that owning a pet can teach a child. “By giving your child the responsibility for their pet this will help them take care of other responsibilities like homework and prepare them for a future job,” writes Cumberland. However, responsibility needs to be age appropriate, warns Susan Dawson of Veterinary Expert. “At age 3 years a child can help an adult fill food bowls. By 5 years he or she can take on some basic grooming tasks under adult supervision as well as start helping clean the pet’s living area. As a child moves into primary school they can become involved in walking a dog with an adult. Keeping pet care responsibility age and developmentally appropriate is not only necessary for the safety and welfare of the pet, but the child as well, both physically and emotionally.”

child’s understanding of biology. Goldman writes that “Pre-schoolers who had cared for goldfish were more accurate when responding to questions like ‘does a goldfish have a heart?’ They also more easily transferred biological information from one species to another, inferring that baby frogs get bigger just like goldfish do”.






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The Most Powerful Career Advice

The Most Powerful Career Advice By Amber Stanley

“Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses… on your powers, instead of your problems.”- Paul J. Meyer Life in the real world is different from being a student. Challenges are inevitable as well as failures. However, if you focus on your strengths and use your weaknesses to improve yourself, nothing is impossible to a determined person.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”- Winston Churchill You are young. It’s okay to make mistakes. If you get into a wrong career path, or you meet a bad boss, or you’re dissatisfied with your job, it’s okay that’s normal. In the span of your career journey, you will surely make mistakes and fail many times. You’re still inexperienced so enjoy exploring life. Fix your mistakes and learn from them, then move forward- That’s the joy of learning.

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”Albert Einstein

Everyone wants to be successful in life.

Everyone turns into a Yes-man to get a job after college. That is why many people go through their careers hating their job or jumping off from one company to another. People go to university to get a degree and to pursue their passion and interest. Unfortunately, once they step outside the university they make choices different from the things that they want to be. They seem to become oblivious of their own goals. University doesn’t only prepare you for a job rather it’s a preparation for life. A college diploma will open doors of opportunities. It will show you how to get there. But remember, your destination — your future success — are yours to choose. Whether you’ve tailored a long-term plan or you see new possibilities for your future career, these powerful pieces of career advice will empower you as you encounter difficulties in facing reality.

But instead of running behind success, aim for excellence. Strive for it and eventually you’ll become successful.

“Think big and don’t listen to people who tell you it can’t be done. Life’s too short to think small.”- Timothy Ferriss

Dream big and act on it to make it happen. Do what you’re passionate about and embrace it. Whatever you enjoy doing make it your profession. Satisfy your inner interest before others. It’s you who can make your dream come true and not them. Take a chance and trust yourself.

“In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.”- Sid Caesar

You can concentrate on your goals but do not forget to have life. Study effectively and work hard but don’t forget to relax and enjoy a bit. Go out with friends and have quality time with your family. Pursue your goals while living a balanced life.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”- Eleanor Roosevelt

Envision yourself living to your dream and figure out how you can achieve it. If you dream to become a business

person, teacher, doctor, nurse, engineer, etc. then plan how you’re going to reach it. No matter what life throws at you, keep going and live to your purpose.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”- Confucius

Do something that you have talent for and you love doing. Using your interest as your basis in finding your career path will help you determine the right direction towards your goals. If you love your profession, you will have a great time doing the job and less likely to experience stress.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”- Les Brown

There will be moments when you doubt your own ability to succeed. You lose enthusiasm and drive to keep going. But instead of letting yourself defeat by your own fears, why not give yourself a fair chance to do everything that you can. You never know where your courage will take you.

“Desire! That’s the one secret of every man’s career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire.”- Bobby Unser Having a strong desire or will is what



That Every College Student Needs To Know

keeps you from achieving your goals. If you desire to succeed in life, you can do everything to make your goal a reality. This gives you hope, inspiration, and driving force to move forward and accomplish something.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.”- Anatole France

A dream without action is dead. Having dreams without believing on it is useless. If you dream make sure it’s big, plan on how to get it and be confident that you can reach it. If you desire to get a particular job, even if it seems impossible to achieve, never stop believing and do your best to get it. You can start from taking small steps until you reach your goal.

“We become what we think about.”- Earl Nightingale

While you’re young, have a clear vision of your future. Even though you’re still clueless with your destination just think of what you wanted to become. Fill your mind with positive thoughts, dreams, and beliefs so that it would manifest into your life. Stop worrying, stop complaining. Do not let the idea of “what if’s” corrupt your dreams. You might not control everything that may happen to you but you have a choice to take it or leave it behind.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”- Ernest Hemingway

It’s good to have a goal so you know where you’re heading at. However, aside from focusing on your destination, it’s the long journey that will matter in the end. The goal of most college students probably is to have a good career. You study hard to complete your education and acquire the skills needed for your job application. Of course, you can set your eyes towards your goal but do not forget everything you’ve learned and experienced while you’re on your way there.

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.”- Chris Grosser

Successful people didn’t wait for oppor-

tunities to knock on their doors. They created it that’s why they’re reaping what they have sown. Apply this truth to your life and you’ll definitely accomplish everything on your own.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”- Jim Ryun Staying consistently motivated in reaching your goals will eventually become your habit. If you continuously do things properly then you’ll keep going until you get to your destination. When you’re motivated, you have a reason to do what you love.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”- Thomas A. Edison

Failures happen to anyone and yes, it happens all the time. Don’t feel hopeless after failing many times. You just have to understand perfectly the purpose of failure in your life in order to realize that it is something you need to succeed. Giving up will stop you from achieving greatness and making a difference. So instead of thinking about quitting, why not take it as an opportunity to make things way better?



ASL Ice Bucket Challenge

by Tasha

If you haven’t already seen half the world throwing ice-cold water on themselves then you might want to start scrolling through your social media accounts. The Ice Bucket Challenge is a wonderful awareness campaign where people from around the world even celebrities are taking on the challenge and then donating money to the ASL Association. ASL is a neurodegenerative disease that affects all the nerves from the brain to the spinal chord. Towards the later stages of the disease the patient may become completely paralyzed. The bucket challenge is a way to display support but unfortunately many members of the youth have found it as a scheme to receive a few extra followers on their social networks. So though it is a terrific campaign it seems to lose its focus, show your support and take up the challenge but make sure you donate as well because every little coin is worth something.


Lee Mare

R-U-A Change_Setter. September 2014 Change-Setter

Call me bias if you like because she is a good friend of mine but I can’t think of any other young individual who deserves this title more. She is a kind hearted and open-minded young woman who is not afraid to let the world know that she is a feminist. Tamika Thumbiran is 17 years old and is a student at Westville Girls’ High School. She is a young, passionate, and independent woman striving to help mankind with hope and dreams to truly change the world some day. Tamika is one of the most inspiring teenagers I’ve ever met, her passion and love for community service is infectious and she has always been there to greet everyone with a friendly smile. She has an insane passion which I would like to refer as an obsession for cricket and Japanese anime.’ Her role model is the one and only Sachin Tendulkar and those of you who know this amazing lady would have heard the enthusiasm that drips out of her mouth like honey when she refers to cricket and Naruto. To a young lady who never fails to motivate and bless everyone she knows with her wisdom and kind words. Tamika Thumbiran Change_Setter September 2014

E. T. @ChangeNOW_teenz

Change is Essential ... The Loom Band Craze

The new “Loom Band Craze” really had me trailing back down memory lane to my primary school days where “Scooby Wire” was the coolest thing. “Loom Bands” are the new obsession from the younger generation; the exciting colours and new patterns are great. Though teenagers may think this craze is completely pointless many teenage girls have no problem wearing their little siblings new designs. Some people have gone as far as making dresses and key rings to gloves and purses. They’ve become a little trend where everyone is wearing one or someone is making them and selling them. They’re charming little friendship bracelets and may just be a way to support your siblings.

Change is Beautiful ... The Maze Runner

Based on the novel by James Dashner the movie sets the scene in the future where Earth has become an apocalyptic world. Thomas wakes up and suddenly thrown into a life size maze and has no memory of his life before that moment or the world that lurks behind the walls of the maze. He along with a group of boys starts to discover their purpose as well start planning an escape from the maze. Staring Dylan O’ Brian, Will Poulter and Kaya Scodelario, make sure you catch this action packed adventure on the 19th of September at cinemas.

Changing Thoughts ...



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Witness Hilton Arts Festival

Trevor Noah's Nationwild - Durban

Air Guitar

Shall We Dance

Hilton College: 18 – 21 September Booking opens 22 August KZN’s premier arts festival: the 22nd annual Witness Hilton Arts Festival, boasting a magnificent array of the country’s foremost performing and visual-arts in a well-appointed festival atmosphere. The festival invites the crème-de-lacrème of what is hot in the creative industries in SA.

Catalina Theatre, Wilsons Wharf: 21 Aug - 12 Sept Air Guitar, the celebrated mini-musical is back with a newlook super-charged cast this August at the Catalina Theatre. Written and directed by Themi Venturas this very popular show was last seen in Durban at the Catalina Theatre 10 years ago.

Discovery Music At Makaranga

Makaranga Garden Lodge Kloof: 14th September Music At Makaranga is back featuring GoldFish and friends. The picturesque Makaranga Garden Lodge creates an ideal back drop for an outstanding family day.

Gospel Music

Moses Mabhida Stadium 28 September 2014 Come worship with us and see the foundation of your passion shaken, the door of your prison open and the chains that bound your life for so long being closed. Better is not enough the Best is yet to come.


Suncoast Casino: 26th - 28th Sep 2014 New Market - Golden Horse Casino: 19th - 21st Sep 2014 South Africa's favourite comedian, Trevor Noah, is going on tour and bringing some of his friends along! NationWILD is the first of its kind. This comedic tour will visit 7 cities from August through to November 2014 and showcase the comics that Trevor has deemed SA's funniest

The Natal Playhouse: 5-13th September 2014 This annual showcase started in 1991 and is probably the longest standing annual production in Durban. It is presented by the Playhouse Company in association with the South African Dance Teachers` Association. Produced and directed by Neville Letard and Caryl Cusens.

Jomba! Contemporary Dance Experience - Durban

Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre 27th August – 7 Sept 2014 A world class dance theatre that challenges audiences out of passive lethargic viewership in asking that you come to the myriad festival offerings with the intention to be shocked, surprised, entertained

White Mountain Festival Central Drakensberg

White Mountain Lodge: Sunday, 28th September 2014 KZN's only acoustic music festival, it's known for its relaxed, family-friendly atmosphere, plentiful amenities and beautiful surroundings. On offer are top acoustic performances ...

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Change Now Magazine - September 2014  
Change Now Magazine - September 2014