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==== ==== THE NEW 2012 JOB ==> Working Your Own Business Online From Home ==> ==== ====

So you say you like disaster movies. Well, boy do I have a movie for you that is the mother of all disasters. That's not to say 2012 is a bad movie. It's actually a reasonable entertaining movie. Long on special effects, but unfortunately, long on hokieness too (If that even is a word). And long in time at 2 hours and 38 minutes, which was about one hour too long, give or take a disaster or two. 2012 is just one disaster after another until your left at movie's end gasping for breath and hoping there's actually some air in our world left to breathe. 2012, which was directed by Roland Emmerich like he was directing a pinball machine, is corny and contrived. A "B" movie disguised as an "A" movie extravaganza. It's melodramatic in a funny sort of way. Predictable, but somewhat enjoyable, if you don't mind the stilted dialogue and less than believable secondary plot lines. If it had been produced as a "B" movie with less famous actors, this movie might have become somewhat of a bright spot. 2012 sadly short on even the slightest bit of suspense as to what will happen next. I actually sat back and said what was going to occur in the next minute of the movie, even to the point where I knew the mistress of the big, bad Russian billionaire would shoot him the middle finger as she sneaked onto the survival ark (yes, there's actually 3 survival arks) while he was stranded outside. The movie starts in 2009, when Scientist Dr. Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) travels to India to discover from fellow scientists that the earth's core temperature is increasing rapidly, He rushes back to America, and at a fund raiser, he accosts White House Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser, played brilliantly by the always reliable Oliver Platt, and hands him papers that basically say the world as we know it is going to end, most likely in 2012, because that's when some ancient Mayan calendar says it is going to end; December 21, 2012, to be precise. Anahauser informs the President of the United States Thomas Wilson (Danny Clover, who plays the entire movie with a look of shock and disbelief on his face. Morgan Freeman was much better) of the dire circumstances. By 2010, The United States and the leaders of 46 countries start a massive, secret project to build several "arks" to insure the survival of the human race. They decide that only 400,000 people will be able to fit on these arks, that are being built at Cho Ming, Tibet in the Himalayas. In order to fund these arks, without tipping off the normal citizens of the world, they decided to sell these seats for one billion euros per seat. So guess who's going to survive the oncoming catastrophe. Not people like you or me of course, but only the leaders of the world, their staffs, scientists involved in the project, and thousands of billionaire bags-of-wind from dozens of countries. Enter Jackson Curtis (John Cusak) in 2012, a Science Fiction novelist who wrote a book only 500

copies of which were sold, one of whom, amazing to Dr Helmsley, who carries the book around with him like a pet rock.. Talk about non-believability. Curtis is so unsuccessful as a writer, he presently drives a limo for a Russian billionaire Russian (Zlatko Buric), who unbeknownst to Curtis, has bought several seats on the ark, for himself, his annoying two brat sons, his pilot (Johann Urb), and his girlfriend Tamara (Beatrice Rosen), who is secretly banging his pilot. For animal lovers, Tamara is constantly clutching a tiny dog in her arms, which leads to the predictable "oh please save the little dog from destruction" scene. (Insert cheers here) Curtis is divorced and his ex-wife Kate (Amada Peet) is currently living with her boyfriend Gordon (Thomas McCarthy), who is a plastic surgeon (amazingly he did Tamara's boob job) and an amateur pilot, which comes in handy real soon. Also Curtis two kids are living with Kate and Gordon, Noah who is somewhat of a brat, and Lily, who still wets her pants at night and has a fixation with wearing hats, any kind of hats. Curtis arrives, hate of course, to take his kids on a camping trip to Yellowstone Park, where they meet Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson), a freaked out hippie who's doing a daily radio show that predicts the end of the world. He tells Curtis about a Mesoamerican Long Count Calender that says we are all finito on December 21, 2012. At first Curtis thinks Charlie is a little bats in the belfry, but changes his mind after Charlie shows him blueprints for the ark, and pictures of government officials from around the world who were murdered because they found out about the end of the world and the ark, and were about to alert the rest of us peons. Curtis rushes home with the kids and tried to tell Kate and Gordon abut the impending disaster. Before they can tell Curtis how crazy he is, the house begins to crumble and everyone rushed out to Curtis car. Thus begins a crazy car chase, where Curtis' car is being chased by the city of Pasadena crumbling behind them. They rush to a small private plane that Curtis had just rented and Gorden very shakily engineers the takeoff. Then they bob and weave through falling building and bridges to safely. But not for long. This is the start of one disaster after another. Too numerous to innumerate. Cities crumble like dust and tidal waves destroy national landmarks. The coolest one is where a tsunami destroys Washington DC, and the aircraft carrier The John F. Kennedy, carried on the waves, personally takes out the White House. (Too bad it wasn't occupied by today's residents.) Obviously 2012 is not Academy Award material. But it does take you on a wild ride, which is quite enjoyable, if you don't care too much that the plot is full of so many holes, it doesn't hold water as a top flight movie. I'll give 2012 two and a half stars out of a possible five stars. Only because the special effects are a doozy to watch.

A Vietnam veteran in the United States Navy, Joseph J. Bruno started out in the newspaper business in the 1970's as a sports columnist for the New York Tribune. During the 70's and 80's, Bruno was an associate editor for Boxing Illustrated and monthly contributor to Ring Magazine. In 1986-1987, Bruno wrote a sports column for the Times Herald Record in Middletown, New York. His articles have also appeared in Penthouse Magazine, Razor Magazine, Boxing Today, Boxing

World, International Boxing Digest, Referee Magazine and Inside Boxing. Bruno was elected Vice President of the Boxing Writers of America from 1982-86, and Vice President of the International Boxing Writers from 1980-89. In 2000, Bruno's first novel Angel of Death was published by Bruno's second novel, Find Big Fat Fanny Fast, has just been released in ebook form at, Smashwords and Amazon Kindle. website:

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==== ==== THE NEW 2012 JOB ==> Working Your Own Business Online From Home ==> ==== ====

2012 - The End of the World  

THE NEW 2012 JOB ==> Working Your Own Business Online From Home ==>

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