sheath the sword FEBRUARY IS NATIONAL CONDOM MONTH. TO CELEBRATE, OUR WRITER TOOK THESE NEW RUBBERS FOR A TEST RIDE SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
One size does not ﬁt all when it comes to prophylactics: condoms need to cover the entire shaft. Magnums used to reign supreme as the king of large condoms, but there’s a new heir to the throne—LIFESTYLES KYNG ($11.99 for 12, www. lifestyles.com). I took this baby for a three-hour tour. The prelube lasted for a long time before we had to reapply, and my bang buddy loved that “larger” didn’t mean “thicker.”
TROJAN SENSITIVITY BARESKIN ($9.99 for 10, www.trojancondoms. com) claims to be 40 percent thinner than the average condom, and I believe it. Even though it felt barely there, it stayed tight—no slipping, no breaking. The lube was lovely, and the dude was impressed with the increased feeling the thinness provided. If you’re banging a Quick Draw McGraw though, I’d advise against going BareSkin—it’s that good.
The award for groundbreaking technology goes to SENSES ($13.99 for 12, www.sensiscondoms.com), whose condoms have two tabs that let you pull it down in one smooth motion, which is not only fun but also makes it impossible to roll on inside out. The Micro-Dot Ribbed version has raised dots on the shaft and ribs near the tip that I could actually feel! I tested this with a big dong, and while it was snug, it provided full coverage and got two thumbs up from my man. This is the condom everyone will be talking about.
TROJAN PLEASURES ECSTASY FIRE AND ICE ($11.99 for 10, www. trojancondoms.com) was totally not worth the $50 I had to drop on Plan B because it busted. I couldn’t feel the condom’s duel-action warming and tingling lubricant, but my partner said it felt like Icy Hot. Since he couldn’t tell it had busted, it must’ve felt natural, but no matter how good a condom feels for a guy, I’m not into paying for his pleasure.
Created by two French aristocrats, THE ORIGINAL CONDOM ($20 for box of 6, www.theoriginalcondom. com) is hyped as the prophylactic you’ll want to display. Everything about it screams luxury except the thing itself: it’s just a standard jimmy hat in a fancy package—an elegant faux jewelry box. The ﬁrst go was a literal bust, but my partner felt the break right away; he put a new one on, and we didn’t have any other problems. The rubber may be all show, but its makers have substance; the Web site is heavy on condom history (particularly France’s role), and the company is dedicated to both humanitarian and environmental causes. [CALLIE WATTS]
// BUST / 101
issue 67, portis de rossi