April 24, 2014 | Volume 3, Issue 29 | Baton Rouge, LA
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HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF THE BRIGHT LIGHT SOCIAL HOUR? page 6 THE 10 DEFINITIVE STAGES OF AN OUT OF TOWN FRATERNITY FORMAL page 7 FINDING LOVE IN TIGERLAND page 10
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2 editor's note
THE REGGIES RESURECTION sorrowful eyes, we tried to carry on and accept that
this would be just another bar now and that would
Delta Zeta Editor-In-Chief
be good enough. Reggie’s would still be a place of
Malena is a junior studying public relations and mass communications. You may contact her at mmore16@ lsu.edu.
As long as it was in Tigerland, it would still be our
As most of you who read our publication already know, the infamous Reggie’s stage was torn down and retired earlier this semester. It and all it’s former glory were sentenced to the Tigerland dumpster. And for what? The people demanded a change, but this was too far. It was as if Reggie’s manager was trying to wash his hands clean of the old stage and all it represented. Many students mourned the loss of their favorite place to “turn up” and “get ratchet.” With
Monday night mistakes and Saturday night shame. Reggie’s; stage or no stage.
again! It was a beautiful miracle!
According to Reggie’s bouncer and bartender Kristian Jessen, the old stage had a “smell” so to say, and cleaning out for a bar then rebuilding the stage would ensure a rebirth. And just like a flower blossoming in the springtime, the Reggie’s stage
Time passed, people drank, and we all moved on (or tried to), but then one glorious night it was back! Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the stage was rebuilt and restored to all its former glory. Like Christ rolling away the stone of his tomb, the stage arose from the tile and surmounted itself in its original territory. Women flocked to the stage seeking attention, regrets, and free booze. Men rejoiced at the
sprung anew and brought the spring following of faithful Tigerland disciples. So thank sweet baby Jesus, because this year we’ve been blessed with two resurrections: one holy and devout full of beautiful renewal, the other full of brand new debauchery. You decide which one will effect your Monday night, but I know where I’ll be.”
site of high school seniors losing their bar virginity
THE ODYSSEY AT LSU EXECUTIVE TEAM President Catherine Morrissette Kappa Delta
Sales Executives Miles Mitchell FIJI
Client Marketing Consultant Christian Fraught FIJI
CREATIVE TEAM Editor-In-Chief Malena Moreau Delta Zeta
Social Media Director Katie Zehnder Delta Delta Delta
Contributing Editor Apply Now!!!
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The Odyssey is a private entity not associated or governed by Louisiana State University or LSU Greek life office. The views and opinions shared in The Odyssey are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Odyssey and Olympia Media Group.
500 words on greek life
5 THINGS ABOUT THE GREEK SYSTEM YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN MEGHAN PRIETO Alpha Phi
Meghan is a freshman studying anthropology. You may contact her at email@example.com. Being in college, we like to think we know it all. We like to think we hold the whole world in the palm of our hands. Alas, this is not always the case. For example, did you know the oldest fraternity is 237 years old? Or that George W. Bush pledged Delta Kappa Epsilon? While there is still so much I don’t know, these are just a few of my favorite things I’ve learned about the Greek system. 1. There are 123 fraternities and sororities with 9 million members total. Nine. Million. Greeks. That’s almost 3% of the United States’ total population. I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel incredibly small and incredibly inspired at the same time. On the one hand, I’m just one person in a community of 9 million. But on the other hand, I’m part of a
community 9 million strong with some of the most successful, driven and ambitious people in the country.
executives belong to a fraternity. I would definitely say that these frat boys have got it goin’ on.
2. The Phi Beta Kappa Society is the oldest Greek letter organization. PBK was founded on December 5, 1776 at the College of William and Mary, making it a whopping 237 years old. Although PBK is an Honor Society and not a fraternity or sorority, they were the first organization to start the tradition of using Greek letters as a name, which is kind of big deal. Their motto was, “Love of learning is the guide of life,” and even had top secret initiation rituals and a special handshake. And if you’re wondering why 1776 sounds so familiar, that’s the year America declared its independence. So basically, Phi Beta Kappa is as old as the existence of the United States of America. Nbd. And while we’re talking about history and old things:
4. The youngest woman to ever be on the cover of Forbes’ Billionaires was in a sorority. Speaking for girls everywhere, I send much thanks to Sara Blakely, the wonderful founder of Spanx. Where would we be without her? Sara was a Delta Delta Delta at Florida State University, and graduated with a degree in communications. Not only is she gorgeous and motivated, but also she has a passion for giving. In 2006, she launched the Sara Blakely Foundation to provide educational financial assistance to entrepreneurial training. You go girl.
3. Since 1825, all but three U.S. presidents were members of a fraternity. But really, how cool would it be to be able to say that you’re bros with Ronald Raegan, John F. Kennedy, or Franklin D. Roosevelt? Ronald Raegan was a member of Tau Kappa Epsilon, John F. Kennedy was an alum initiate of Phi Kappa Theta, and Franklin D. Roosevelt was a member of Alpha Delta Phi. On top of that, 85% of the Fortune 500
5. The Greek system is the largest network of volunteers in the United States. Every year, over 1 million hours are spent volunteering by Greeks throughout the nation. Considering there’s only 8,736 hours in an entire year, that’s a wholllle community service! No wonder why more than $4 million dollars are raised by sororities each year for their various philanthropies. Being in the Greek community, I have so much I’m proud of, and each day I find another reason why I feel so truly blessed to a part of such a strong, caring, and loyal network.
4 Scene on campus
KATfish for CASA RACHAEL GREENE Delta Zeta
Rachael is a sophomore studying mass communications. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. edu Spring Break may have been just around the corner, but that didn’t stop the hungry crowds from lining up for fresh fried catfish outside of the Kappa Alpha Theta house last Friday afternoon. Come on, fried catfish after class on Friday for only ten bucks? Count me in. Theta’s annual fundraising event included the works: a heaping plate of southern fried, local live music, and door prizes for the guests. The proceeds are donated to Capital Area CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) Association, a nonprofit organization that teaches its volunteers how to advocate for abused and neglected children in need of a safe home. Between the band and southern comfort food, there wasn’t a frown in the crowd!
Adventure gourmet eats
FOOD REVIEW: UNCLE E’S WINGS AND THINGS DOMINIK PECORARO Delta Sigma Pi
Dominik is a junior studying information systems and decisions sciences. I love food. I love going to find random hole-in-the-wall places to eat. The food channel might as well be the only channel I get on TV. I love Man vs. Food and Diners, Drive ins, and Dives. So I embarked on a quest to start finding places to eat with exceptional food. My first stop ended up being a place recommended to me by a brother of mine, Uncle E’s Wings and Things on Florida Blvd. I looked at their menu and figured this place looks pretty cool, with items including the Super Stupid and the Mr. Ridiculous burgers. I immediately planned on visiting and began dreaming of what I would gorge myself on when I got there. I called up a friend and we immediately left for lunch in
between classes. We drove across town and over the interstate to get to Uncle E’s, arriving at a small shopping center with a laundry mat and Uncle E’s cellphone and beeper shop. It looked like it literally was a hole-in-the-wall someone put a kitchen in. I walked in and immediately was met with a smell of seasoned meat cooking in the back. My stomach took control of my body as I gazed over the menu. I had done this a dozen times in preparation for my order; I had studied this menu inside and out before I got there so I would know exactly what I wanted when I walked in the door. But now indecision gripped my heart and my stomach. I was at a loss for words-it all sounded so good, I couldn’t possibly choose one without thinking another could be just as good as the smell coming from the back! After a long deliberation, I decided to go with my gut. I ordered a double cheeseburger with bacon and a fried chicken breast on top, with mayo and mustard on garlic Texas toast. My friend ordered a ‘Who Dat’. We received our tickets and sat in the next room, which was decorated similarly to a house being moved into. We watched an American Dad episode on the lone flat screen in the empty room as we waited. In a short 10
minutes, our orders were called out and we received our food. We unwrapped the burgers in foil delicately, only to find our meals packaged with minimal care. The sight was impressive: my burger was a massive pile of meat stacked onto a bun that would lean and teeter on the edge of collapse, the meat sizzled and let off a pleasant smell, the cheese melted and dropped off onto the foil in globs, my chicken breast sat atop the pile of ground meat with a slight glaze of mayonnaise and mustard. I picked up this monster as if I was picking up a venomous spider, careful not to disturb the giant as raised it. I took a bite and received instant gratification that only a quick and easy 4000 calories could deliver. The burger was seasoned and cooked perfectly, while the chicken on top was still crunchy and hot, the bacon and cheese melted together to add the final punch to my taste buds. The meat of all three animals combined and became the most delicious burger I have had in my life. While the décor is odd and the area the restaurant is in isn’t exactly close to campus, it’s worth the 15 minute drive to eat one of these behemoths on a bun. I wholeheartedly recommend you visit Uncle E’s Wings And Things if you’re feeling adventurous or are in dire need of the meat sweats.
6 Adventure music festivals
HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF
THE BRIGHT LIGHT SOCIAL HOUR?
Ordinarily, if I were to
read about an indie band that melds “southern rock, hard dance, psychedelic blues and deep soul,” I
probably wouldn’t even bother checking them out.
I was about three seconds away from quenching my thirst Bear Grylls style, when
my buddy handed me a half-empty bottle of suspiciously sour Dasani. I didn’t care;
I chugged it like a sorority girl with a Diet Coke and instantly felt better. I felt better
Will is a freshman studying marketing and English. You may contact him at email@example.com.
looking guy for like 30 seconds before my buddies stopped me, but I was still
Usually the place in a
band’s bio where it describes their music as a, “fusion of random genres,” is just the right place to stop reading (See The Magic Beans). I guess it’s a good thing I never read about The Bright Light Social Hour.
The first time I saw TBLSH, fortunately, I couldn’t read a thing if I’d wanted to.
Last year my late-night self was stumbling around Hangout, desperately searching for a show that I refused to believe was already over. When suddenly, there was this
overwhelming rhythm– one of those penetrating beats that seems to actually compel
you to move with its’ waves as they surge through your being. They call it “Shanty.” There could have been a line of naked girls behind me, but I still couldn’t have
than better– I felt amazing.
The rest of the show was un-real. I may have been grinding on some really feminine
coherent enough to realize that this was the second best live show I’d ever seen. Every song was better than the last– not one weak link in the whole set.
That day, I had to cross the phrase, “I’ve got to buy this CD,” off of my “Things
I’ll Never Say Again,” list. I actually bought their music– with money. That’s how
good this band is. Their self-titled album is almost as good as the live show. They
managed to pack a perfect concurrence of clean sounds and dirty vibes that gives it that certain something that just makes an album feel genuine. It’s no wonder how these guys swept the 2011 Austin Music awards, winning song, album, and band of the year. It’s more than the music that makes TBLSH such a great band; these guys have some serious stage presence, and so much energy!
A couple months back, they played a show at the Varsity in Baton Rouge that
gotten into that crowd quickly enough. I’m usually not much of a dancer, even after
was every iota as awesome as their Hangout set– and they were playing to 50
it...hard. It was hot out– like ‘I’ve never been this hot before’ hot. My Camelbak had
be busting a** for peanuts much longer. With a second album in the works, and
a cold one, but I immediately grabbed the first festival-girl I could find and got after run dry and I was starting to sweat off my buzz, but I‘d be damned if I was leaving that set for water.
people. Social chairs, book The Bright Light Social Hour immediately: they won’t
summer performances slated for Shaky Knees and Sasquatch, soon they’ll be too famous to play your little party.
THE 10 DEFINITIVE STAGES OF AN OUT-OF-TOWN FRATERNITY FORMAL HAYLEY NICOLICH Chi Omega
Hayley is a sophomore studying English and Spanish. You may contact her at hayleynicolich@live. com. Last weekend, I had my first experience with an out-of-town fraternity
formal...it was interesting to say the least.
I discovered from talking to friends about formals that they had attended
and from my own experience, that all formals follow a similar timeline:
1. You text your date about the plans. Depending on your punctuality
(or lack thereof), this either happens a week before, a few days before, or if you’re really just a go with the flow type of person, the day before. As we all know, boys are NOT like girls. Boys do not plan ahead, and boys
do not find joy in mapping out every detail of their weekends. Therefore, when you text your date/boyfriend about his formal, you will most likely
either get an, “I’ll let you know!” (he won’t) or an, “I’m not really sure yet” (he hasn’t even thought about it). You might not even get a response. Or, if you’re as lucky as me, you’ll get an “Uhhhhhh….”
2. You pack. Once you’ve given up on actually knowing what’s going
to happen in the next 48 hours, you attempt to determine what you need
for the weekend. This can take hours. What do you bring? Is there a pool at the hotel? Will you be swimming? Do you need an extra outfit for going out? Just like before, your date is no help in this area. He’ll probably tell you to just, “bring your dress and some shoes, or something.”
3. You drive there. If you don’t know your date at all, this is probably a
little weird. You might try blaring loud music or fake napping to avoid the awkwardness,
but most of the time it’s inevitable. Hey, this is usually when you get to know the person
you’re about to spend far too much time with. If you know your date, this is your chance to drill him with questions about the event, since he probably didn’t give you answers before.
4. You hang out. Once you arrive to the hotel, you probably have some time to kill
before the actual formal. Again, this can be incredibly awkward if you don’t know your
date. What do you do? Where do you go? Why aren’t any of your friends that are there
texting you back? Eventually, you and your date find something fun to do, and you start to get excited for the rest of the night.
5. You get ready. This, for me, is the worst part. I’m not sure how other girls roll, but
getting ready for me involves quality time with my illuminated makeup mirror and lots
of space to spread out my assortment of blushes, brushes and lipsticks. However, this is
obviously impossible in a tiny hotel room. You end up squished into a hotel bathroom
with a few other girls, keeping a sharp eye out to make sure none of your MAC eye
you’re well supplied with drinks and you have a pretty fantastic time. 7. You attempt to find a way back to the hotel. At this point, you realize how expensive
cabs really are. Unless you decide to brave the walk back, you pile into a car with what
feels like 400 other people and head back. There will probably be a pretty entertaining
drunken conversation of some sort with your cab driver, and you’ll (hopefully) eventually make it back to the hotel.
8. You eat. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that drunk eating isn’t a good idea. It’s always
a good idea. If your night goes anything like mine did, you wake up to your date waving fried chicken in your face and you scarf it down happily before passing out again.
9. You sleep. You probably only sleep approximately 2-3 hours, but you relish every
second of it. After the night you’ve had, all you want to do is slip into a coma for a few days.
10. You wake up, want to die and go home. An alarm goes off at 11:30, and you all
shadow gets stolen. The upside is that this is the point where you usually crack a cold one.
scramble to get out of the hotel before checkout at 12, trying desperately to ignore the
6. Finally, you go to the actual event. This can go so many ways. If you have friends
category 4 hurricane. You suffer through the car ride home, hiding behind huge sunglasses
that are also attending the event, you most likely spend the night hanging out with them,
taking 8 million Instagrams, hugging at least one of them while she cries about how mean her boyfriend is, and dancing terribly to “Drunk in Love.” If your date is an OK guy,
pounding in your head and the fact that your hair looks like you just went outside in a and gripping a large Dasani water bottle. You feel like you’ve been hit by a train, but you realize that it’s totally worth it because of the fun you’ve had.
8 500 words on greek life
RICHARD COLEMAN: BIG MAN ON CAMPUS, BIG MAN ON STAGE CHARLES MANNING Delta Chi
Charles is a freshman. You may contact him at ????@tigers.lsu.edu. It seemed we were interrupted almost as much in 3 minutes by his friends as I am in my entire day. I could see that Richard Coleman, former Greek of the Week, was known around campus...Either that, or I was just more of a loser than I thought. It’s easy to understand why Coleman, 22, would be so recognizable around campus. Richard has accrued an impressive portfolio of on-campus involvement, including serving on the Bengal brigade, advertising for LSU student media, and being a campaign assistant for Student Government. Coleman is now a 4th year senior set to graduate in May, seemingly an accomplishment in it’s own these days, and is
a brother of Theta Chi fraternity. He pledged his junior year, and was pledge class president. Over the next four semesters, he held numerous chair positions, among them philanthropy chair, public relations chair and social chair. He also held the prestigious, and ever-coveted, position of Pledge Educator. “What a lot of people don’t see is the business side of things,” said Coleman. Yet he feels it was well worth it. “I’ve spent two years Greek, and two years non-Greek; the two years Greek were way better.” Coleman commented, “I’ve learned to work with a big group of guys, which was great for me, being the only male member of my family.” “I’m getting some lifelong friendships for sure,” said Coleman, amused as he reminisced upon some of the most memorable moments with his brothers, equal parts hilarious and painful, which he promised to share with me another time. “They’ve been — and it sounds cliché — a second family to me.” A family it turns out Richard would need. Coming from Dallas, adjusting to life here would be difficult for just the ordinary student, but Richard was intent to be
extraordinary. “Everybody goes through a point in college where they get a little depressed,” Coleman said. “They get very homesick, even I went through that.” “That’s when I turned to my faith again,” said Coleman, who now holds leadership positions at The Refuge. But there’s still one thing you may not know about Richard. Actually, you probably do. He sings. Not just in the shower, or whenever Wagon Wheel comes on after that ill-advised Natty shotgun. Yea, we all remember that even if you don’t. He’s been touring with LSU Accapella for three years now. Coleman even managed to land a role in Pitch Perfect, so chances are you’ve seen him sing. “It was really cool, being on set,” he said. “I got to do the cup song with Anna Kendrick.” Whose number, of course, Richard politely declined to give me. “I truly learned how to be a musician and not just a singer.” For any prospective or current Greek music students, Richard has one piece of advice. “Don’t go on a bus trip when you have a performance the next day,” Coleman joked. “I made that mistake, it was painful.”
500 words on yik yak
YIK YAKKING Attention all Greek students not affiliated with my
to keep them on ice for you. It is also apparently common
If you think this is inaccurate, go download the latest
While I’m sure we can all agree that most of these
chapter: my organization is superior to yours.
indictments are groundless and completely unfounded,
smack talking and you’e sure to feel 17% worse about
amusing. Hidden beneath the heaps of arbitrary fraternity
community as breeding grounds to proliferate anonymous humanity. They call it “Yik Yak,” and its both the greatest and worst thing of all time.
According to the live-updating stream, every Lambda Chi
is about eleven years old and four feet tall, Tony Montana
is the house mom for KA and Sigma Chi, and every night
is “Brokeback Mountain night” at Sig Ep. Other ridiculous but entertaining accusations range from the idea that Fiji’s intramural basketball team is easily more athletic than the
Harlem Globetrotters, and if you have any severed limbs
lying around, our friends in DKE will be more than happy
DIMITRI SKOUMPOURDIS ???
Dimitri is a ??? studying ??? You may contact him at ???@lsu.edu.
knowledge that every Phi Psi still plays with Furbys.
app since “Erodr” to use the close-quartered LSU Greek
there is an element of total randomness that is beyond stereotypes that litter the vast majority of Yik Yak’s content,
Lion King chilling on the Parade
Grounds right now? Maybe I shouldn’t have smoked that free cig from the homeless man living in the dumpster,” and immediately forget about your academic failure.
Consider the possibilities that come into play with a Yik
are perfect gems of awkward and inappropriate humor
Yak “handle.” There’s something special about reading a
wasting phone apps rotation.
ya slowly” that really can’t be replicated on anything else.
that make downloading the app worth a spot in your time-
message from a toilet at Reggie’s whispering, “I’ll infect
I’m talking about the post that comes in around 5 p.m.
It will be interesting to see if Yik Yak can beat the one
on a Monday that reads, “To the guy jacking off in Herg 327, turn down your porn, some of us are trying to nap.”
Or maybe you just finished a particularly taxing exam,
dejectedly board the purple bus, pull up Yik Yak and read
a post that reads something like, “Why is Rafiki from
month survival test of failed apps. I’d be lying if I said I
wasn’t curious just how many posts that look something
like, “lol so drunk I just wrestled a Portugese Man O’ War with my bare hands YOLOSWAG” pop up during Spring Break.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF YIK YAK? Panhellenic organizations as a whole. Users then have
NATALIE RECH Delta Gamma
Natalie is a frehsman studying communication disorders. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
the option to “up” or “down” the comments, which
ultimately decides the comments’ fate of becoming popular or being removed.
In the “Rules & Info” subcategory, the Chicago
geniuses behind the Yik Yak app request that users, “make sure that they are posting quality content.”
In this day and age, there is
Furthermore, the rules state not once but twice that users
among the young adult population to distract us from
If Yik Yak’s makers thought that the app would be
targeting other yakkers or groups of yakkers, then they
always an entertaining, new iPhone app circulating
should, “not bully or specifically target other yakkers”.
our studies and decrease our face-to-face communication
used for anything other than bullying or specifically
From Candy Crush to Lulu to Flappy Bird (and its
more affluent, fun-loving cousin, Fratty Bird), there is
always something new to download if LSUsecure (RIP) allows it.
The newest app on the horizon of the decadence
of society is Yik Yak, an anonymous social media
outlet that allows students to post comments about whatever they want. From personal observation, most
of these comments target individuals and fraternal and
have entirely too much optimism and faith in humanity up there in The Windy City. Also, they underestimate the breeding ground of vulgarity and gossip that is the modern college campus.
The app, which is intended for adults ages 17 and
up, has, of course, spread to high school and middle
school campuses faster than illness spreads though
the Miller Hall air vents. School administrators have banned Yik Yak from many high school and middle
school campuses in lieu of bomb threats in Georgia
and California, which circulated through the app and caused both schools to evacuate.
Yik Yak’s “Top Yaks in My Area” feature allows LSU
students to view comments specific to the Baton Rouge
campus. Contrary to the severity of the yaks written by
high school students, LSU’s yaks are trivial and crude,
and most of them include some sort of sexual reference. While these comments aren’t anything comparable to a bomb threat, they could still be considered harassment. Some of the yaks, however, are just plain hilarious.
I asked a few members of the Greek community
about their opinion of the app. Jayce Genco, a freshman
member of Sigma Nu fraternity, summed up his thoughts in two words: “It’s stupid.” Katie Borque, a
freshman member of Delta Gamma sorority, stated that,
“I think Yik Yak is just another social media fad… It will pass and fade just like any other, but while it’s here, it is detrimental to people’s reputations and character.”
We may never know the true identities of yakkers
around campus, but we can control the app’s effect as a whole. That being said- if you’re going to yak, keep
10 500 words on late night love
FINDING LOVE IN TIGERLAND There’s
thing that happens to almost every girl the very
moment they walk into the unknown of Tigerland
— they become hopeless romantics.
ANGELA BAUTISTA Chi Omega
Anna is a freshman studying mass communications and public relations. You may contact her at email@example.com.
Now although I’m not
a consistent proponent of “love,” I must admit that I have fallen to the whims of the idea that some boy will
up with someone in the middle of the bar. In your heart, you would describe the moment to be as if, “we were the only ones there.” Ooookay. Just because you kissed a toad doesn’t make him much of a prince in the end. He’s
still a toad. Remember, before you’re ready to kiss a guy who deems himself to be
worth your time. And if he’s sweating profusely, I think it’s a safe sign for you to just back away.
As always, there are always exceptions to the rule – that in some freakish way we
actually get exactly what we
see me across the dance floor, maybe noting how he finds me to
want. For instance, my big
met her boyfriend at Mike’s
where he kept on
buying her drinks
b ro t h er, a n d then
all night until she
picked up the hint.
couple of shots to
muster the courage,
dating for almost
he’d sweep me off
ten months now.
my feet and I would have
But we all
have to learn the
harsh realities of
such Rom Coms
like He’s Just Not
trouble of finding
that Into You. We
have to stop thinking
we’re going to find the
guy of our dreams out
on Thirsty Thursday.
We all do it. We spend hours
The actual average
upon hours getting ready to go
guy who goes out has
into a dark, airless and jam-
probably got only one goal in
packed room for the better part
mind – to catch some booty like a
of four hours. Only to leave such
hungry predator. Don’t let your parents
classy establishments like Reginald’s
ever meet this dude.
Upscale Bar and Lounge or Michael’s
Night Club empty handed or worse with a
your heart by throwing out some horribly cheesy line, or
even better, just coming up from behind you and start dancing
with you. You brush off the fact that he hasn’t even asked for your
name, but convince yourself, “Why do we need names when we’re too busy swimming in each other ’s eyes?”
Not to forget to mention that inevitable twist of fate when you end up hooking
I’ve successfully shot down your
In the moment, you’re excited. The thought is
Then you meet someone, he seems nice – probably caught
shouldn’t go out now that
guy who’s only going to hump and dump us. beating in your head that “Tonight might be my night.”
romantic ventures at JL’s. I’m a huge fan of Tigerland
when I have the time and energy for it. That goes without saying
I’m equally as big of fan of getting ready to go out. When and where
else am I going to wear that all too overpriced yet all too cute pair of
Aztec printed shorts?
Go out with a group of your friends and have the time of your life. If you end
up meeting a friendly guy who wants to buy you a drink, there’s no harm in
that. If you even get his number, even better. Just be sure to leave your dreams
of fairy tale endings at the door with the bouncers and that $5 you paid for cover.
500 words on life
10 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU WILL FIND ROAMING THE LAKES IN THE SPRING LUCY HARRISON Kappa Kappa Gamma
Lucy is a sophomore studying mass communications. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org As the weather heats up and the hours of daylight increase, the amount of people who can be found running (or at least trying to run), biking, or even just walking the lakes increases as well. Here’s a list of the ten different types of people that you’ll see around the lakes during these lovely days of spring. 1. The Competitive/Intense/Slightly Terrifying Runners: Unlike most of us, these people ain’t playing when it comes to running the lakes. They’re fast, they’re focused, they’re dedicated, but mostly they’re annoying for making us normal people look so bad. 2. The Equally Terrifying Bikers: Whipping through people walking together, zooming around the corner out of nowhere, choosing to bike through traffic instead of
a perfectly good sidewalk...bikers around the lakes can sometimes be the worst.
3. The Nauseating Couple that Walks the Lakes Hand in Hand: That can’t even be comfortable, what with sweating and everything? Everyone gets you’re a couple, so how about you be normal and walk the lakes side by side instead of hand in hand. 4. The Large Groups of Girls Who Think of Walking the Lakes as Social Hour: We’ve all done it, but that doesn’t mean it looks normal for 4+ girls to crowd together and gossip for two miles. But hey, at least we’re getting some exercise in. 5. The Annoyingly Fast High School Runners: Members of the U High track team can often be found running (or more accurately, sprinting) around the lakes as the weather heats up. How it’s possible for some of these fifteen year olds to be so fast, I’ll never know. 6. The Shirtless Guys Who Consider Themselves God’s Gift to Earth: Yes, we get it, you’re in shape. But do you have to be such a show off about it? (Girls who choose to run in only a sports bra and spandex can also fit into this category).
7. People Who Walk Their Dogs Around the Lakes and Are Constantly Being Harassed Because of It: I am so incredibly jealous of dog owners, and I’ve found myself stopping them to pet their dogs and inform them of just how jealous I am on more than one occasion. Here’s to hoping I’m not the only person guilty of this. 8. The Incredibly Old People Who Are Faster Than Most Of Us (Or Maybe Just Me): I swear, I was lapped by a man older than my grandfather while running the lakes the other day. I have to respect his athletic ability at such an advanced age, but that doesn’t mean I have to like being lapped by him.
9. The Adorable Members of the Mother’s Club: During the early afternoon hours, you can find the members of the Mother’s Club jogging around the lakes. Props to them for taking time out of their day to stay in shape and looking cute while doing it. 10. The Courageous Paddle Boarders/Kayakers: Those few souls brave enough to enter the grimy waters of the LSU lakes can often be seen kayaking or paddle boarding during the spring. It looks fun and all, but I’m not sure I’ll ever work up the nerve to enter that murky lake water.
WHY GREEK? I suddenly realized that I knew no one. None of my
myself into a close-knit group of friends. However, after
surrounded by hundreds of excited girls, I just felt
the only feeling that way. I’s soon found that close group
Anna is a freshman studying mass communications and public relations. You may contact her at email@example.com.
even ten close friends surrounding them, laughing and
Why go Greek? I was asked this question by many
Now I heard Bid Day tends to be awkward, so I didn’t
telling you to choose one house but all of your friends
to come, I still felt alone. Of course, people welcomed
extremely personal decision. Every chapter has a variety
different people throughout the summer before I began rush.
My answer was simple: to meet new people and be
a part of something great. I went into rush and fell in love with my sorority. It was the first house I looked
for when I received my schedule each round and it was the only name I wanted to read on Bid Day.
On Bid Day, as I was running to my favorite house,
friends had chosen the same sorority. Though I was
awkward and alone. Most people had one, two or having fun. I was just thankful we were assigned “Bid Day buddies” so I wasn’t completely by myself.
think too much of it. However in the following weeks
me and talked to me, but not enough time had passed to where I had become extremely close friends with some of these girls. I mean, I had only known them for about a month, and I’m not exactly an extreme extrovert.
I began to question if I’d made the right choice, or if
I should’ve gone what all my high school friends went.
I’m not particularly shy, but I’m also not one to throw
some time passed, I discovered that I was definitely not
of girls I’d been looking for and realized I was exactly where I needed to be. There was no other sorority that I needed to be a part of.
Moral of the story, go with your gut. If your gut is
are choosing another, choose the one you want! It’s an of girls and you’re bound to fit in somewhere. Although
choosing a house that my friends didn’t choose left
me feeling awkward and vulnerable, it forced me to branch out, become more outgoing and step out of my
comfort zone, qualities I dearly needed to improve on. No matter what sorority or fraternity you choose, you
will find some of your best friends and you will know you chose what was best for you.
12 The list listicles
5 TIPS TO MEND YOUR BROKEN FRIENDSHIP AYANNA JONES Sigma Alpha
Ayanna is a sophomore. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let’s face it girls. We all go through our fair share of friendship issues. For most girls, I’m pretty sure girl drama started with the elementary school friend that was dared to buy the same Lisa Frank notebook that you already had. Or maybe it started with your middle school best friend kissing your crush. Either way, we have to admit we sometimes let the smallest things affect our friendships in the most negative ways. When it comes to girl drama, nothing is off limits! Even our dearest friendships can fall victim to it. Somebody said this, you heard that and before you know it, you hate your best friend’s guts! Fixing a friendship may seem difficult but these 5 tips may make it a bit easier. 1. Make time to actually discuss the issue. This step is
the most important! If you never make time to sit down and talk to your friend, the issue could escalate beyond the point of no return. Nip it in the bud early! Clear out your schedule and invite your friend out for lunch or a coffee date at Starbucks. Go to the meeting with a clear and open mind. If you think that you know the ending before the meeting even starts, it could influence the way you handle the situation. A face-to-face meeting with your girl could be all that you need in the first place. 2. Listen to her side of the story. Every story has two sides! Don’t think that yours is the only one worth hearing. Give your girl the chance to express how she feels before you take a turn. Just sit back and sincerely listen. This will allow you to put her side into perspective. It also gives you time to gather all of your thoughts. 3. Acknowledge how you feel. Now it’s your turn to go. Sit up straight and make eye contact. Do whatever it takes to get your point across. Don’t be afraid to say exactly how you feel. Ladies, this is not your go ahead to be a total psycho. If your friend was defensive when telling her side, it’s okay. Kill her with kindness.
It will show her that you are there for more than just a confrontation.
4. Apologize. Many people think that spitting out an apology is simple but it can be one of the hardest things for people to do. If you started the drama, own up to it and admit that you were wrong. If you talked about your friend out of anger, take responsibility! It would be better if she heard it from you rather than some one else. Apologize even if you weren’t the dramastarting culprit. It shows that you are over the drama and willing to forgive. 5. Discuss ways to solve future problems. Discussing ways to solve problems can save both parties from experiencing all of the extra drama that may occur in the future. Tell each other about things that might make you uncomfortable if they are done within the relationship. Agreeing on what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship draws a clear line in the sand of friendship. If your friendship is important you should always be willing to extend an olive branch and work things out. If it’s meant to be then everything will fall right into place!
FROM THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN KATHRYN DUNLAP
and you still have NO CLUE what you want or if you are in the right place. The stress of finals, added to the
plentiful supply of parties, exchanges, and formals all
Kathryn is a freshman studying digital advertising & marketing. You may contact her at kdunla3@ tigers.lsu.edu.
a massive toll on you.
trying to deter you from getting those grades up takes One of the most frustrating parts about going through
your freshman year is looking around, seeing all your
At some point in all of our college lives, we wake
friends from home as well as girls in your sorority
here?” No I don’t mean in a random frat house following
parties. You’re left feeling unsure if you made the right
up one morning and think, “What the heck am I doing
posting tons of cute pictures at the pool and at date
a night of heavy partying.
decision or if you even fit in. But the greatest advice I
I mean on a relaxed Sunday that you spent with your
friends. Everything is going good and then you get
home that evening and have that freak out. That, “oh
my gosh my freshman year is almost over and what
am I even doing in college,” freak out that happens spontaneously and usually when you thought you were doing great and had it all figured out.
You call home because you’re paranoid if you’re in the
right major, or if that scuba class you took will actually give you any credit to graduation. I’ve been there. It’s
terrifying to think that almost a whole year has gone by
ever received was no matter what it looks like from the outside, it really isn’t that great. Everyone is worried about getting a B in those classes and everyone is pissed
off that no matter how many times they try to hit the
gym, those late night drunk McDonald’s runs started to take their toll.
A friend in this past Fall texted me to say she missed
me and that she was jealous of how much fun I was
having. But no joke I had cried myself to sleep two nights
before that. I realized that although I was unhappy on the inside, I was trying to give off the expectation that
I was having the time of my life. With the wrapping up of freshman year, I am lucky to
say that I have had fewer and fewer of these freak outs.
But the best thing I can tell to those who might still be worried that they aren’t ‘killing college’:
STOP LOOKING AT SOCIAL MEDIA FOR VALIDATION
Don’t get me wrong, Instagram is probably my third
love behind Jesus and tortilla chips, but it can definitely affect how you’re feeling about your own situation.
It’s a great way to see what others are doing and how
cute someone’s new top is, but it also creates a false
appearance of your friends lives. Remember that no one
is going to be posting pictures of the hard times. They are only going to put up the ones that they can slap a filter on and look tan.
Stop comparing your experiences to your friends’
lives that you’re only witnessing through the screen of
your iPhone. Odds are, they have a few of those freak
outs on their tab. College is an adjustment. They never said it was easy but they promised it would be fun.
THE HALF SIZED
MONSTER There is a monster plaguing our campus. Nay, our country.
BAILEY WAX Chi Omega
This beast uses its victims to incite fear and Bailey is a freshman. You may disgust in the hearts of contact her at email@example.com. innocent people. People run. Children cry. Can nothing stop this fiend? And what is this tyrant’s name you ask? It pains me to even write its name. Just two words. Two words that send shudders down my spine. Crop. Tops. Now you may feel like that first part was a little dramatic, but I assure you, it was completely warranted. There’s nothing that ruins a walk through campus or a night out or a quiet trip to the grocery store quite like an unnecessary crop top. Especially this time of year, when your tummy hasn’t seen the light of day in six months. Your stark white belly is not what I want staring at me while trying to go about my business. So to help with that (and to help with all of humanity), I’ve devised a quick little test. The crop top test. Question one: Is the crop loose fitting or tight on the part of your abdomen that isn’t exposed? If you answered tight, no crop top. If you answered loose, proceed. Question two: Is your eye line from bottom of crop top to waistband uninterrupted, or is there pudge in the way? If your view of your pants is disrupted by your Pillsbury doughboy, you probably shouldn’t be wearing a crop top. For all you out there who have now been deemed unable to rock the crop, don’t take offense! I myself cannot rock it and I fully accept that. I suggest you do that same. But don’t feel too bad. The inability of a crop top is not restricted to just you. Even the girls who passed the crop top test should probably take a second look in either the mirror, a calendar or their current location. Is it July? No, no it’s not. Are you currently at a music festival with a camelback strapped on? No. No you are not. Now do you look fantastic in that crop top? Most likely. Yes. You probably do. But those of us who don’t would genuinely appreciate a month of oversized comfort color t-shirts before you show off your impressively low metabolism (which is why you’re so tiny because we all know your main food group is McDonald’s). There is a time and place for everything. I don’t wear turtlenecks in April or white after Labor Day and so on. So in the spirit of fashion rules, let’s all take a breath and respect the crop top. When it’s time, it’s time. And if you can rock it, by all means rock it! But if you can’t, grab a t-shirt and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and come on over.
14 Humor lol
YIK YAK’S OF THE WEEK Brace yourself the caterpillars are coming
There’s a lot of sexual tension when
they massage your head in the back
room of the haircut place next to Mellow...
Spring testing=thirsty high school girls
My GPA is so low I couldn’t even get
my parents the student discount on
our car insurance My trash can is filled iwth empty
popcorn bags and used condoms
This spring break I will live off nothing but beer, lunchables and fiber one bars
because I like sex and my girlfriend
Spring orientation today= open
I need a grilled cheese right now in
LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE
the worst way
Just some dude brushing his teeth in the Middleton bathroom
season at Tigerland tonight
Oh ya going to Tigerland tonight? Guess it’s time to play hide n seek!
Remember, legal in Louisiana is 17