April 3, 2014 | Volume 4, Issue 26 | Boulder, CO
www.theodysseyonline.com | @Odyssey_CUNEW | Instagram: OdysseyCU | Facebook.com/TheOdysseyColorado
GREEKS GOT FIRED UP FOR ST. PATRICK’S DAY pages 8-9
WHAT YOUR “SEX NUMBER” SAYS ABOUT YOU page 4 THE 8 PEOPLE YOU SEE AT THE GYM page 6 IF THERE WASN’T A PICTURE, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN page 10 St. Patty’s Day shenanigans at CU. Photo credit: Hailey Collins (Pi Beta Phi)
2 editor's note
WHY I’M HOOKED ON OIL PULLING ERIN MAJOR Gamma Phi Beta
Erin is a junior studying psychology pre-med. You may contact her at Erin.K.Major@colorado.edu.
You know how sometimes while passing a car accident, you can’t help but stare? One time while I was riding the Buff Bus my freshman year, we hit a biker while driving on Regent. As we all got off the bus, we couldn’t help but look to see the damage. For some reason, we humans have this weird fascination with everything gory, disgusting, and just plain weird. Which explains why I was drawn to oil pulling, the latest craze sweeping the nation. Or at least sweeping the humble abode of Erin and Becca, since my roommate and I have been doing it at least once a week. Oil pulling is strange, gross and fascinating all at once. The process involves taking a tablespoon of your favorite
organic oil (my favorite is coconut), putting it in your mouth and swishing it around for a solid 20 minutes. When I first heard about it, I thought it was insane. I saw my roommate doing it in the kitchen, a mouth full of oil trying to explain the benefits to me. I went into my room and decided the stress of midterms was really getting to her and that she might be going crazy. The next day, one of my friends posted an article about it on Facebook and I read it in shock and awe. Why would anyone willingly put oil in their mouth, swish it around and keep it there for almost a half hour? But I was curious. I forced Becca to join me, as we set a timer for 20 minutes and plopped a tablespoon of oil in our mouths. My first thought was, “This tastes weird. I think I’m going to throw up.” But I garnered the strength to keep going. While oil pulling, you are supposed to swish the oil in your mouth for the entire 20 minutes. Five minutes in, my jaw started to hurt. The minutes felt like hours and I realized that this definitely wasn’t for the faint of heart.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot I was even doing it and the timer buzzed, startling me out of my reverie. The benefits of oil pulling are infinite. Aside from whitening your teeth, ridding your mouth of bacteria, and preventing diseases, oil pulling has also been linked to helping hangovers, helping with migraines, and ridding your body of all toxins. According to globalhealingcenter.com, oil pulling was “an ancient Ayurvedic remedy for oral health and detoxification.” It also serves as a 20-minute break from the monotony of our everyday lives, and it’s surprisingly relaxing. You also get a lot more done when you have to be silent for 20 minutes. I recommend that everyone try oil pulling at least once. I’ve already noticed some of the benefits, and I actually look forward to doing it now. If you’d like more specific instructions and information on this new trend, head over to http://www.thewellnesswarrior. com.au/2012/04/oil-pulling-my-new-morning-ritual/. Now go get hooked!
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Ideas debate & discuss
Kappa Alpha Theta Kendal is a freshman studying speech, language and hearing sciences. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. With Greek Week quickly approaching, the tensions and competitiveness between sorority houses are at an all time high. As a freshmen, I am fairly new to Greek life. So far, I have experienced Homecoming Week, formals, date dashes and mixers. However, I have yet to experience the infamous week full of Powderpuff, volleyball and football competitions, SongFest and philanthropic events known as Greek Week. As Greek Week quickly approaches, sororities are starting to get competitive with each other, and for good reason. The winning team of Greek Week has bragging rights for a full year, so sororities and fraternities are rigorously preparing for the event in April. In the midst of all the friendly competition, tensions often rise and the competition becomes more intense.
A few sororities decided to set up a progressive dinner together to ease some of the tension and reiterate to everyone why we joined a sorority in the first place. The dinner allowed us to take a step back and served to remind everyone that at the University of Colorado we support all Greeks. Alpha Chi Omega, Delta Gamma, Kappa Alpha Theta and Kappa Kappa Gamma all came together mid-March to have dinner together. The girls who attended were mixed into groups with members from each sorority that was participating. The groups walked around the Hill together, having appetizers at one house, salad at the next, the main course at one and dessert at the last. The progressive dinner gave sorority members a chance to reconnect with friends they met during recruitment in their Rho Gamma groups. It was a unique opportunity to take a step back from all of the Greek Week madness and rekindle friendships that may have faded after joining different houses on Bid Day. It was also fun to revisit different houses that many of us had only seen on house tours during recruitment.
Although seeing old recruitment buddies and poking around in other sorority houses was fun, the main goal of the progressive dinner was to unite sororities and to create a more inclusive environment in Greek life at CU. The competitiveness of Greek Week can easily divide sororities and we all know that isnâ€™t what Greek culture at CU is about. As a Greek community, we are a unique group of leaders who work hard every day to support and encourage each other to make the world a better place. Being involved in your own separate houses, itâ€™s very easy to grow distant from members in other houses. Events like the progressive dinner allow sorority members to unite again and keep us moving forward as an unstoppable force. Sorority members have high hopes and goals for future progressive dinners. We want to host it on a bigger scale and involve even more houses and sisters. Hosting a dinner, or similar events, is no small task. But in the end itâ€™s worth the extra hours people put in because it unites sorority members from many different houses and helps to keep Greek life at CU inclusive and positive.
4 Self health & fitness
WHAT YOUR “SEX NUMBER” SAYS ABOUT YOU MELANIE SCHULTZ
Kappa Alpha Theta
Melanie is a freshmen studying journalism and mass communications. You may contact her at schultzmel@ gmail.com.
People assume that the higher a person’s sex number is, the worse of a person they are. A sexual past tells someone not who someone truly is, what their favorite book is or what their dreams are. It tells of how much someone enjoys sex or of certain situations they were placed in. In college, there is so much pressure to have one-night flings and to keep meeting more and more people. Sex must be a compliant, mutual activity between two coherent individuals. If we take away anything from the film Easy A, which is about a girl who pretends to sleep with less-than-desirables in her school, it’s that numbers matter. And that you can even be socially ostracized for them. Having a large number of sexual partners could be a red flag for those in the dating realm, not to mention it may threaten your health. But having a low number has its own stigma: people who have slept with few people may be social awkwardly, a closeted freak or (gasp) religious. A person’s number is inconsequential. I understand that people are worried about being “normal,” but are you going to decide how many sex partners to have based on the say-so of an article you read online? What good will this information do in your real life? However, it seems that for many their number and especially a partner’s number actually does matter. Many people believe that a persons number is important because it tells partners right off the bat if their values coincide. In college, there is a lot of pressure when you’re alone with someone you are attracted to. College is about having fun and meeting new people, so women feel like all guys just want a one-night stand. But never give in to peer pressure just because you think your number should be in competition with others! You have the right to refuse to have sex and you don’t have to justify your decision. But saying “no” to sex can seem stressful because it involves a lot of intense feelings. It can tap into fears about rejection, physical attractiveness, the relationship, your expectations, sexual inexperience, the power balance in a relationship and other sensitive issues linked to self-esteem. Don’t expect your partner to know what you’re thinking — you need to say what you want or don’t want. How you say no will vary according to whether you’re dealing with a
potential partner you’ve just met or your partner in a longterm monogamous relationship. You don’t have to give a reason for saying no to sex, but giving a reason could help to protect your partner’s feelings and help him or her to understand. The reason doesn’t have to be very specific, but people usually cope better with finding out they can’t have what they want if they know why. The fact is, whether your number is four or 40, it says nothing about you or how you are in bed or how much you enjoy sex. People have sex in a variety of different ways and for all different reasons. A woman who has only had sex with one person may have met her husband young or she may only have sex with those with whom she is in love with. A woman who has been with 40 may have just as well loved all 40 men. We just don’t know and we can’t judge. A woman’s number means very little
except how many people she has had sex with. In the end, that number does not define us. It is not who we are. A woman who has been with one person is no more a prude than a woman who has been with 100 is a whore. It’s time we get past these notions. It used to be that women who embraced their sexuality and had sex with many men were shamed. Now, women who have only had sex with a few are accused of not embracing their sexuality. The pendulum has gone too far in the other direction. Sexual freedom means having the ability to dictate what we want from our sex lives. My number of partners are mine just like another person’s 32 partners are theirs. Neither number defines us or says who we are as people or are as sexual beings. It’s just a number, baby.
THE TIMELINE OF ST. PATRICK’S DAY PREPARATION FOR AN ENTHUSIASTIC IRISH GIRL
I write this assuming everyone is Irish, or at least is willing to pretend to be Kappa Alpha Theta Irish for a day or two. If Tori is a freshman studying you’re not Irish, no worries; inegrative physiology. You we’ll welcome you with may contact her at viba0131@ open arms. Rather, with colorado.edu. one open arm because the other one will be holding a Guinness. Here’s a timeline of preparation experienced by all the enthusiastic Irishman out there, like me!
March 18 (The Day After) On this day, the enthusiastic Irish girl lays in bed, licking her wounds while completely disregarding the green paint in her hair. Though the whole time, she is thinking up plans for next St. Patrick’s Day weekend. She promises herself that she will keep all of her green attire she bought for this weekend in a special place so as not to lose it. But of course, most of it will be lost and a Target run will have to be made. (Ok, so we’re going to skip a few months here because let’s face it, not even the most die-hard St. Patty’s day enthusiast prepares for an entire year.) Sometime in January There’s a blizzard outside and this Irish girl’s eyes are not smiling. But all she needs to do is snuggle up with a cup of tea and some Netflix to remedy the situation; maybe watch that old Disney Channel movie Luck Of The Irish or, worse yet, Leprechaun. She remembers that St. Patrick’s day and the warm, sunny weather of day parties and drinking will soon be upon her. February 17 (one month away!) This day is tweet-worthy. The tweet will probably go something like “YAY! Only
one month until my favorite holiday! Sláinte! (enter clover emojis here).” By now the Shamrock shakes have blessed the counters of McDonald’s and the enthusiastic Irish Girl has made a trip to Target and Party City to find the cream of the crop of St. Patrick’s Day attire. This means beads, socks, bandanas, hats, glasses, cups, shirts, you name it. March 10 (one week away!) The enthusiastic Irish Girl can barely contain her excitement! She has planned her outfits for each day of the weekend and the tweets have escalated in number and urgency. She has made sure all of her Irish music is fully loaded onto her iPhone so she can be ready to jig for joy at any moment. If this girl is 21, then she has already picked out her alcohol for the weekend and by this I mean she’s purchased a bottle of whiskey to pregame with and maybe a six-pack of Guinness to look cool while carrying around, because why buy alcohol when she can drink for free at any frat party? March 16 (it’s tomorrow!) By this time, enthusiastic Irish Girl has probably been celebrating her heritage for two or three days. She has already been to the town St. Patty’s Day parade and it was just as small, but fun, as it has been for the past 10 years. Today, she gets a package in the mail from her mother. What could it be? YES! It’s a loaf of her mother’s delicious Irish brown bread. This recipe has been in the family for years and never fails to satisfy a hungry tummy. March 17 (St. Patrick’s Day!) Ah, finally! The day enthusiastic Irish Girl has been waiting for since last St. Patty’s Day. If it’s a school day, she’ll wear green even to her classes, because there’s no shame in having a little Irish pride. After classes, enthusiastic Irish Girl will throw on her beads, hats and every other green thing she owns and hit the bar or party scene with her favorite people. Hopefully, she remembers her green food dye so she can drink festively all day long.
6 Humor lol
THE 8 PEOPLE YOU SEE AT THE GYM There are a lot of different types of people you will definitely run into at the gym, some more than others, especially in a college rec center. Almost always entertaining, you can find one or more every time you drag yourself to the gym. Some stereotypes are true, others aren’t. But, at the gym you are bound to run into at least one of these people. Really don’t want to be there. They feel most comfortable walking very slowly on the treadmill, sitting on a machine while texting, picking a new song on their pump up playlist or sitting in the Mind and Body room in the dark, on a mat, “stretching.” Way too into their music or the television. Not going to lie, this is definitely me. I usually end up staying on a cardio machine for more time than I planned just so I can get mad at the news and end up almost yelling at the television. These people are usually found on the cardio machines for more than the maximum time limit or sitting on a bench watching the television on the wall. Easily distracted. Also, probably me. These are the people who do one set of an exercise, get bored, or see something else they want to do more and get up to do that, never coming back to their original machine. They can also be found talking to friends, playing a game on their cell phone or randomly walking through the gym trying to find something to do next. Take on more than they can handle. Let’s face it, at every gym there is that guy who tries to lift more than he probably should and usually ends up hurting himself. He should be using 20-pound weights, but there are tons of cute girls around so he tries to use a 50-pound weight to impress them, ending up dropping the weight on his feet. But he doesn’t cry, of course, because who cries at the gym? Not this guy. The grunter. You can always tell when this guy is lifting any amount of weight. The music seems to get quieter as he grunts to show off how much he can lift and to prove his manliness. Every single rep he does deserves a loud grunt, just so everyone can see that he has been working out. The yoga guys. These are the ones who are especially popular in Boulder. You can find guys and girls in a yoga class, or not, doing their yoga stretches because who wouldn’t want to be caught doing a downward dog in the middle of the gym? Really don’t have time to be there. You usually find them on the elliptical or the bike, with note cards in their hands, a book over the television and a huge stack of papers in their lap. They don’t have time to be at the gym and should be studying, but are trying to cram in that one last workout. At the gym all the time. You know ‘em. You love ‘em. You see ‘em at the gym every single time you’re there. No matter what time of day you go, no matter what day you go or where you are in the massive gym, they are always there. Day or night, their natural habitat is the gym. You start to wonder if they even go to class or if they are majoring in muscles.
Odds are, you know at least one of these people, if not more. Everyone has that one friend.
Alpha Delta Chi
Layne is a junior studying english literature. You may contact her at layne. email@example.com.
MARCH MADNESS FOR ALL LAURA MISHKIND Gamma Phi Delta
Paris is a sophomore studying journalism. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sugar, spice and everything nice: this is what most men consider to be the basic components of the female race. While it’s flattering that they think we are incredibly sweet, these ingredients fail to include competitiveness, strength, a love of sports or independence. There’s more to women than the stereotype and people tend to forget this. Many people consider sports to be reserved for men. However, women love basketball or football just as much as the next dude lying on the couch, sipping a beer and watching the game. I, for one, have grown up loving sports. I’ve always watched baseball, college basketball and football. I understand
the rules of the game and when applying to colleges, I made sure they had a basketball and football team. I have always noticed how sexist some people can be when it comes to which gender really understands the concept and rules of sports. Not only do men make assumptions about women and sports, but women do it to themselves as well. With the beginning of March Madness, people have started creating their brackets to predict who will win it all. There have been articles written by men and women about how women can also participate. The authors recommend that women do their research and look at books and websites like “March Madness For Dummies.”
While some may not see what the problem is, I see it very clearly. Women should not have to have guides to help them figure out how to participate in March Madness. If you love basketball and have been following it, you shouldn’t have to look at other people’s brackets to figure out what teams you should put in yours. If you don’t understand basketball that’s fine, but maybe don’t try to participate. Of course, you can watch the game, but don’t try to talk like you know which teams are going to win. It’s fine to ask questions, every now and then, but not every time a player hits a three or fouls another player. Women who are interested in learning more about sports should do a little research or just start watching the game. That’s totally acceptable. You shouldn’t try to make up a bracket if you haven’t been watching because you’ll just look silly, not cool. Use your best judgment. Women are smart and capable of doing anything they want, but if you’re trying to hard to impress people with your basketball knowledge when you really don’t have any, you’ll just continue perpetuating the stereotype that has been placed upon us women.
8 Scene on campus
GREEKS GOT FIRED UP
FOR ST. PATTY’S DAY
Greeks get green for St. Patty’s Day in Boulder.
Scene on campus
10 Scene on campus
IF THERE WASN’T A PICTURE, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN LEA HAMILTON Chi Omega
Lea is a senior studying mass communications and studio art. You may reach her at lea.hamilton@ colorado.edu.
tonight’s big party. At first glance this can seem interesting for our overindulgent lives, but when you get into the thick of it, there’s really no escape.
As technology has made huge progress and advances in our world, so has social media. With the aid of technology, social media has made it easier for everyone, not just people in our generation, to share their entire lives with the world. You can write and show people what you had for lunch, what you did for spring break, or even what outfit choices you have for
Studying photography throughout college, I’ve always valued the craft of taking a quality photograph, whether it’s up in a studio or captured through photojournalism. As I grew up through and with my photography, Facebook helped me display that growth and experience. I loved to post images of my friends I had worked really hard on to edit and I only posted photos I thought were meaningful and that told a story. This was before Facebook and Instagram became an integral part of our lives. Now, these two applications are so frequently used in the photo-sharing world, it’s fair to say, if there wasn’t a picture, it didn’t happen. Like many other girls in college, I feel a sense of massive remorse when I learn about a party I didn’t go to, through
photos on Facebook. I frantically think back to where I was when it was going on, why the girls look so cute in their outfits and why the heck I didn’t go. After seeing the photos I vow to myself that the next party... no, the next outing I take, I will take photos that make me look like I spent a weekend on a beach and just flew my clothes in from some posh store. This photo epidemic does more than just cause stress to over eager college kids. It completely closes out the market for quality photographers for newspapers, magazines, websites and a lot of other media sources. Who would want to pay money for photos that you could’ve received yesterday, via email, from a kid with a cell phone who could care less about a career in photography? As fun and attention-getting as all of these photo-sharing technologies can be, we are starting to forget the roots of what is making all of this possible. People who take more Instagram’s and photos than I can count have come up to me numerous times asking what ISO is or what the shutter speed does. I still love the art of photography, no matter where it comes from, but photography has become less of an art to the general public and more of a chore. Everyone wants their lives to seem enviable and the camera is the first and best way to do that. I have no problem with people wanting to feel better about their lives through Facebook, but let’s reflect back once in a while to beautiful art and the creativity of photography before the Brannan filter.
OXFORD SAY WHAAATTT? The Oxford English Dictionary recently added a whole bunch of cool, hip new phrases to its most recent edition (900 to be exact). I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, 900 new words?!? Is that even a real thing?” The answer is: barely.
In past updates, many culturally valuable words such as “twerk,” “selfie” and “srsly” (Yes, it is srsly spelled like that.) were added to what was once an educational tool. This is the direction that English language is headed, and we should all be ashamed and afraid. We just can’t have nice things, can we? I spent a little time this week on putting together a list of some remarkable phrases on which I could offer some sassy commentary. Bestie (n): A person’s best friend; a very close friend First off, may I be the first to say that if you actually use this word, you should focus harder on graduating middle school. Secondly, after reading the definition of this word I am conflicted about the meaning. The first part talks about a best friend; your numero uno, your PIC, the person you call when you wanna binge on Netflix and eat lots of carbs. But then the second half of the definition refers to a “close” friend. A close friend is someone that I would consider acknowledging in a public place, someone who might get more than just the generic “Happy Birthday” wall post.
By Laura Selak
Scissor-kick (v): to perform a kick, which involved a scissorlike motion of the legs, as in swimming or soccer. Here, I’ll use it in a sentence! “I have an overwhelming urge to scissor-kick whoever put this word in the dictionary.” Wackadoodle (adj.): crazy, mad; eccentric Please stop and imagine how silly you would feel if you yelled this word at someone with whom you were arguing. Go ahead, say it. Whisper it in a stranger’s ear if you’re feeling especially creepy today. (Don’t.) Honky-tonker (n.): a person who owns, works in, or frequents a cheap, sleazy bar or nightclub, typically one where country music is played. $5 to whoever can find me a sleazy country nightclub first…. Also, I wonder if one day a future fourth grader will be filling out his/her vocab list and will have to look up the word “Honky Tonker.” *shutters* Herogram (n): a congratulatory message from an editor praising a journalist’s work. In later use also more generally: a message expressing praise, encouragement, or congratulations. Very sad that this is not in fact Instagram for heroes because that would be a must-follow.
“OMG, Batman’s eating sushi!” “Spiderman’s #wcw was Mary Jane again #ugh” “Wonderwoman’s selfie Sunday was #literallyperfect”
12 Self health & fitness
15 THINGS ONLY BEST FRIENDS DO: WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE SOULMATES MELANIE SCHULTZ
Kappa Alpha Theta
Melanie is a freshmen studying journalism and mass communications. You may contact her at schultzmel@ gmail.com.
Everyone has that one person who is definitely their bestie, but are they your soulmate? Best friends help us to find our true identities. They are family without really being family. I don’t know what I would do without my best friends. It’s been hard for me being away from my BFFs since I moved to Boulder, but being best friends with someone means your friendship doesn’t change no matter how far apart you are. Every time I see the besties, we pick up right where we left off. However, being in college means making new connections and finding more best friends. I met my soul sister (and a Theta sister) while sitting in Macky Auditorium to hear a guest speaker at a PanHellenic meeting during the Fall Semester of 2013. We randomly sat next to each other. Every single word I said, she thought was hilarious. Everything she said, gave me the giggles. We complimented each other. She’s the blonde to my brunette. After the meeting, we walked back to Libby dorm together, because we both coincidentally lived in the same dorm. It was a sign from the Greek gods. Zeus wanted us to be best friends (So did Hades, but he’s kind of rude, so we’ll stick with Zeus). There are so many things that your bestie understands that no one else does. Your best friend is someone you can lean on whenever you need them. They worry when they don’t hear from you. They will drop everything to help you. Your BFF is just the best. Here are 15 things that only your best friend will understand:
1. When you say something that comes off really mean even though you didn’t intend for it to. She knows you don’t really have a filter on your mouth and sometimes are a lot sassier than you realize. 2. When you don’t feel like doing anything and just want to chill. Best friends don’t need activities to have fun. 3. When you really need to just get out and do something.
She might not want to go out, but she will for you if you need to.
7. Why you don’t like someone, even if you don’t really have a good reason for it. Solidarity, sister. 8. What you’re thinking. If you don’t telepathically communicate with your BFF, something is wrong. 9. What your various facial expressions mean. Who talks
with words anymore?
10. When you do really weird things. She embraces your
weirdness, and usually joins in.
4. When you are upset and need to cry without explanation
11. What you really mean when you’re saying things that don’t make sense to anyone else. No one can translate your language except her.
5. When you’re being really, really honest… If anyone can
12. When you’re totally over guys at the moment. Girl power.
6. When you’re being delusional and need someone to tell it
13. When you have a dumb idea but need someone to
of what’s going on. Her shoulder is there whenever you need it. be straight up with her, it’s you.
like it is. She will lay some truth on your ass, with tough love.
support you anyway. She might tell you it’s a bad idea, but she’ll let you do it anyway because it makes you happy.
14. When it’s 1 AM and you’re both exhausted form doing homework and you just keep looking at each other and cracking up.You know you’re in the quiet section of the business library. 15. When you feel ugly, fat, or just had a royal failure of a week and you think the world has forgotten you. Your best friend will always be there, supporting you, and telling you just how gorgeous you are. A best friend is someone who you can put all vanities and petty cares aside with and just be yourself. A best friend is someone who will notice if you change around others, but feel proud that they are themselves around you. A best friend never leaves you, at least not for a very long time. A best friend is someone who you can love enough to write an article for. So go and call up your besties and make sure you tell them just how special they are, because if you made it through this list and understood every single one with a friend in mind, you know they’re a keeper!
14 Humor lol @totalfratmove: Informing the police officer that you’re a Criminal Justice major and everything is under control. #TFM @itsWillyFerrell: A cop stopped me and said “license please” so I offered him a donut and said “I donut have one” and we laughed and laughed and I’m arrested. @totalsratmove: Saying “hashtag” out loud. #TSM @CollegeTownLife: If someday we all end up in jail for downloading music illegally, I can only hope they split us up by genre. @tbhjuststop: here’s to all the kids who
have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
woke up like this. (Anxious, grumpy and vaguely hungry)
@CollegeTownLife: I hope I did better on my midterms than I did on my bracket
@MileyCyrus: Stank you. Smelly much.
@ p ie r r e m o n te z 9 2 : L e f t m y win d o w s halfway down before class, and I get back to my car to see that I have a ticket and someone stole my decal @om_srat: How to potentially kill a sorority girl: Insult her cooler. @CollegeTownLife: I think my liver just put in it’s two weeks notice @SororityProblem: I woke up like this, I
@UberFacts: In the Harry Potter movie, Ron’s Patronus is a Jack Russell terrier, which have been known to chase otters Hermoine’s Patronus is an otter @_ShitNobodySays: I don’t know let’s Yahoo it. @BarackObama: “We’ve got to make sure that every woman has the opportunities that she deserves. When a woman succeeds, America succeeds.” —President Obama