April 24, 2014 | Volume 4, Issue 29 | Boulder, CO
www.theodysseyonline.com | @Odyssey_CUNEW | Instagram: OdysseyCU | Facebook.com/TheOdysseyColorado
??? page ? ??? page ? ??? page ?
Riley Pepia (Gamma Phi Beta) catches the ball in a game of Powderpuff. Photo credit: Peter Anderson
2 editor's note
LIVE OUT YOUR DREAMS THIS SUMMER ERIN MAJOR Gamma Phi Beta
Erin is a junior studying psychology pre-med. You may contact her at Erin.K.Major@colorado.edu.
Finals are fast approaching and summer vacation is right around the corner. For some of us, summer is a time to relax in the sun (with sunscreen of course!) and catch up on all the fun things that we’ve set aside because of school. Every year I vow to make the most out of my summer and to make it spectacular. Because how many summers do we have left to ignore the responsibilities that come along with being an adult and live out our dreams? Every summer I try to coordinate around my summer classes or my work schedule to do something adventurous and fun. I always want to do something big, to travel to another state, to take a road trip with my best friends, or to accomplish one of my goals, like hiking a fourteener. But each year, I find that my friends and I spend most of
our time relaxing — with relaxing being a polite word to describe lounging around watching reruns of Sex and the City. As fun as this can be, it’s nothing like the adventure I was hoping for.
When people create bucket lists, they always include amazing, crazy, and inspiring things to cross off of their lists. Skydiving, writing a novel, or traveling to another country top some people’s lists. Other goals include meeting your idol, changing someone’s life for the better, or learning to play an instrument or speak a foreign language. The goals that we set for ourselves speak to the heart of human nature. We crave experience, adventure, and knowledge. So why are we wasting our precious time not doing what we want? Aside from money, fear is one of the biggest factors stopping us from reaching our goals. We let the fear control us, telling us that we are not brave enough, not smart enough, or not confident enough to accomplish whatever it is that we want. But once you move past the fear of the situation, living your life and crossing things off of your list comes easy. Another aspect of ourselves that inhibits us from living
out our dreams is the fear of change, and perhaps the laziness to create a change. Relaxing, lounging around, or procrastinating (whatever you’d like to call your form of laziness) is always the easiest route to take. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve put off writing a paper until the night before, skipped a meeting or a talk that I was interested in because I didn’t want to make the effort, or changed plans with a friend because I just wanted to catch a few more hours of sleep. But when I have actually written my paper ahead of time or attended a conference or met up with an old friend, I’ve always thought to myself, “I should do this more often.”
We are only allotted a certain amount of summer vacations in our lifetime, and our supply is quickly dwindling. There is no better time than now to live out your dreams and take advantage of being young with few responsibilities. Summer is the perfect time to travel, learn a new skill, or go on an adventure. So this summer, I plan to go on the adventures I’ve planned no matter what, and to cross off a few more things on my bucket list. And I plan to take this attitude throughout the rest of my life, even when I am a real adult and don’t have any more summer vacations to use up. Soon enough, I’ll have to start a new bucket list!
THE ODYSSEY AT CU EXECUTIVE TEAM President Mal Doss, Gamma Phi Beta
CREATIVE TEAM Editor-In-Chief Erin Major, Gamma Phi Beta
Contributing Editor Apply Now!!! WANT TO JOIN OUR SUMMER SALES INTERNSHIP TEAM? Please contact Matthew Tobe at Matthew@olympiamediagroup.com for more information.
Social Media Director Katie Carruth, Kappa Kappa Gamma
OLYMPIA MEDIA GROUP 888.272.2595 | OlympiaMediaGroup.com Rosemary Kelly, Managing Editor | Celesta Török-Lee, Designer
We want a representative from every house! To apply for a writing, photography or sales position, TheOdysseyOnline.com/Page/WriterApplication
© 2013 Olympia Media Group, LLC All Rights Reserved.
The Odyssey is a private entity not associated or governed by CU or CU Greek life office. The views and opinions shared in The Odyssey are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Odyssey and Olympia Media Group.
Scene on campus
AN INSIDE LOOK AT SORORITY FOOTBALL 2014 LAURA MISHKIND Gamma Phi Delta
Laura is a sophomore studying journalism. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Sorority football is one of the most anticipated events of Greek Week for many women. We work hard to prepare for the event and do what we can to make it to the championship game. It’s an outlet for any pent-up aggression and a chance to prove our strength. While we do our best to remain Panhellenic, women become extremely competitive and aggressive since we’ve worked so hard. A lot goes into preparing for the event. As cliché as it sounds, it’s all blood, sweat, and tears. Many sororities begin preparing long before they even find out who their partners are. Sorority football is something we can work for on our own. It’s entirely up to the sorority to determine how far they will go in the tournament. The women have the power to do the best they can to advance in each game.
Sorority football is one of the best things to win from our standpoint. It’s something we work for entirely on our own, without the help of our fraternity partners, and we rely on our sisters for inspiration and motivation. I believe that sorority football is the event that brings you closer to your house. Although Songfest provides an opportunity to get to know your sisters better as well, sorority football is focused entirely on the women. Obviously, every Greek Week event with our fraternity partners is wonderful, but there’s something about sorority football that unites your sisterhood as a team and creates a special bond. Anyone who has ever played a competitive sport on a team understands what it’s like to feel that camaraderie, but to find experience it with your sisters is an incredible feeling.
well. Thank you to all the men who were willing to coach us and help us do our best in the tournament. Everyone did a great job this year and I’m so happy to have been a part of such a wonderful team and tournament as a whole.
These girls have always been your sisters, but when sorority football preparation rolls around, they also become your teammates. They’re your best friends, your motivation, and the people who are there to pick you up when you’re down and cheer you on when you succeed. When one sister does well, we all do well. We become a true team and a close sisterhood. With that being said, I’m sure all sororities are incredibly proud of the hard work their teams put in this year. I know my team began practicing in January and many other houses did so as
Congratulations Graduates! Come celebrate with us at West Flanders Brewing Co. while you feast on unique foods and special crafted ales! Treat that special person to our Sunday brunch and refreshing cocktails.
Menus online at www.WFBrews.com Reservations online at OpenTable.com or by calling 303.447.2739
1125 Pearl Street, Boulder, CO
4 Adventure summer vacation
SUMMER PLANS FOR THE WORKING STUDENT In the last few weeks
of classes, the hot topic for students tends to be
what their plans are for the
summer. Many people are taking on Europe, or plan to
do some sort of family trip,
DAVIDE IPPOLITO Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Davide is a junior studying humanities. You may contact him at email@example.com.
which is killer. There are tons of people though who plan
on working a lot this summer, and that can really limit what new experiences you get to take advantage of during the summer break. I found myself in this very situation the
past two summer breaks; working a 9-to-5 job with little time to do what I really wanted.
My goal today is to give five top pieces of advice for the working student to be able to break out of the monotony of the work life, and enjoy a bit of exploration this summer.
My first tip is to make a bucket list for the summer. The fact that you have a schedule
to keep on the work side of life means that your personal life would benefit from a little
structure as well, in order to keep up. Bucket lists are a great way to organize what YOU
want to do this summer. The list can be split up in to categories, as well, so you know which ones you’d prioritize, as well as which ones can be knocked out at the same time.
Most successful people keep lists, and write down goals; this applies to bucket-list goals
as well. Along with increasing your chances for success, a physical list where you can “check-off” things you want to do will almost always give you a sense of fulfillment when all is said and done - so make a list!
My second tip relates to the first; make a schedule of events. Depending on your
work schedule, you may only get one or two days at a time to yourself. Vacations are nice because there is a lot of time to do what you want to do, but when you have to be back in the office on Monday, it’s important to know what you will be doing on the weekends. Once you have a bucket list that is prioritized, mark on a calendar when you will complete
each of your goals. This does two things; first, it makes you accountable to yourself for completing your goals (so that you don’t let yourself “off of the hook”), and second it gives you something to look forward to, which makes work a little bit more bearable.
My third tip is to use the buddy system. Most people enjoy doing trips/ activities with
friends, but can’t organize the whole group due to conflicting schedules. I have found that the buddy system is the easiest way to really knock a lot off of your bucket list. Find
a friend that has a similar schedule to you, and make your bucket list with them. I would suggest doing this with someone you get along with well, but is not necessarily a best
friend, as to give you a chance to become good friends with someone you’ve always just been acquaintances with. That person will count on you, like you count on them, so each
of you will feel responsible when goals aren’t met. Your buddy will also usually get you to try things you would never have tried by yourself either.
Tip number four is to take advantage of the area close to where you live. I found myself
working in Dallas, my home town, during my summer internship. Though I grew up there, it amazed me how many hidden gems I was able to find in pretty close proximity
to the city that I thought I knew. In my case I was able to try things like paddle boarding,
as well as mudding and a bunch of things that I didn’t ever relate to Dallas at all. The amount of quirky, random little things you stumble upon when you take a closer look at the area around you is incredible. Things that you never took the time to investigate before become new and fascinating.
My last tip is pretty general, but important nevertheless; be open. When I say be open,
I mean it in every sense of the word. Open to new ideas, books, experiences, friends, and challenges. Summer time has always been a time to grow as a person in my experience.
School is a necessary form of intellectual growth for us, but when it comes to personal growth, being open is key. Working during the summer can easily become a “boring”
summer, but if you are open, it can just as easily become one of the biggest periods of growth you ever experience.
Overall the idea of working a summer job kind of sucks. It is a harsh wake up call for
many, but helps to build important life qualities including responsibility. Many people use
it as an excuse, though, for not being able to experience just as much as someone going on a Euro-trip or some crazy adventure. All it takes is a bit of planning, an accountability system, and an open mind to have an awesome summer!
Ideas debate & discuss
ARE YOU ADDICTED TO YOUR PHONE? Hi my name’s Kendal Lattanzi and I am addicted to my phone. Recently in class as I was browsing Pinterest on my Kappa Alpha Theta phone, my professor stopped Kendal is a freshman studying the lecture to ask students who speech, language and hearing was addicted to their phone. I sciences. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. nervously looked up expecting she had caught me using my phone in class, but she was looking at no student in particular. I awkwardly slid my phone into my backpack in attempt to hide that I had been using it, when she asked again, “Raise your hand if you are addicted to your phone.” Most of the class sheepishly raised their hands. We had a discussion following this about technology in today’s culture and how we are losing face-to-face contact every day.
Walking around campus that day, I looked around to see how many people on CU’s campus were walking around our beautiful home while staring at their tiny iPhone screen. I was not surprised to see that almost every person had their phone in hand and was walking blindly around campus. The University of Colorado’s campus is one of the most gorgeous in the country, and yet everyone is walking with their heads down and not appreciating the environment we have and the privilege it is to live here. I will admit that I am addicted to my phone as well. I use all the popular social media apps everyday. I mean, who doesn’t? Most of the time I don’t pay attention to how often I check my
phone, until my professor mentioned it in class. Now I realize that I start and end my day with my iPhone, and check it dozens of times throughout the day. Why are we so addicted to using our phone? Reading tweets is not the same as having a faceto-face conversation with someone. With all the social media use, I fear that our generation is losing the ability to live in the moment and truly enjoy the people around us. Our phones come with us everywhere, as if they are a necessity to survive. Think about it. You are out to dinner with some sisters and everyone has their phone close by. Either in their lap, on the table, or actually in their hand, everyone will have it close enough so they can immediately check every single notification. Why not just put it away and be present in the moment? As hard as it is to not check your friends’ Snapchat Stories as soon as they post them, or look at everyone’s fun weekend Instagram pictures, it is worth it to be present and engaged with the people you are with. Put the phone away when you are talking to people. We have all checked our phones in the middle of a conversation with a friend at the first little bleep as if the amount of favorites our Tweet gets is more important than the person we are talking to. The first step to recovery is to accept that you have a problem. If you are constantly at the mercy of your cell phone, rushing to check everything all the time, try taking a break from technology. I know it is scary to leave your phone at home for the day (what if someone needs to get a hold of you or what if a major fight happens on Twitter and you miss it?!). As scary as it is, it’s worth taking a break from your phone to take in all the beauty around you and to live in the moment with your friends. Don’t miss out on the present because you are too busy checking your phone all the time. I promise Instagram will still be there!
6 Self health & fitness
VS. SELF WORTH A six pack and a thigh gap may sometimes seem like the
been a major downfall for
the truth is that they aren’t - or at least they shouldn’t
self-image. I can go on
most important things in the world to some people, but be. Throughout this year, after writing articles on how to get the best spring break six pack, and
how to “pin your way to a better body”
I realized that although being
healthy is a very important part
of life, being the thinnest girl in the room is not. What
should be important is feeling good about
yourself, having more
energy, and having a great outlook on
fitness and on life. You should
not dread the gym,
skipping a day, or feel
at the bar or
the cupcake at
dinner every now
and then. I know
this sounds cliché,
but you should feel
good about yourself
from the inside out.
This year has been an
insane year of fitness for me.
Pinterest and other social
media sites have been a huge
blessing but they have also
my self-confidence and Pinterest and find healthy
recipes, a fun new workout to try, or the best way to
“Lose 10 Pounds in 10
LAYNE GUDENKAUF Alpha Delta Chi
Layne is a junior studying english literature. You may contact her at layne. email@example.com.
Days”. But, looking at the
before and after pictures, I realize I am nowhere near the after pictures even though I live a healthy and active lifestyle. These images do not do much for my self-confidence or image and Facebook and Instagram are not any better.
Many of my friends are watching their weight and paying very close attention to
their figure, and they want to show their body transformation on Facebook and other
social media sites. Growing up as a gymnast and a cheerleader, a lot of pressure was put on body image, on how skinny you were, and how strong you were. This mindset
of body self-worth seems to have carried on with most of my friends years after
our gymnastics and cheerleading days had come to a close. Images on Pinterest or Facebook have put a large emphasis on being skinny and that expectation has begun to control our self-worth.
So many girls, including myself, find themselves glancing at the windows they
pass, or the mirrors on the wall for self-assurance. We base our confidence on how we look compared to the other girls we see on campus or on Facebook. The point is,
we should not be basing our worth on looking better than the other girls in the room or online. A girl should feel good about herself because of who she is. Eating healthy
and staying active is important, but fitting into the size two jeans you wore two years ago is not important for your overall health.
A women’s self-worth should be determined based on her personality. The person
she is on the inside should be more important than the color of her hair or the size
of her jeans. Being a Greek woman also puts added pressure to have the “perfect”
body in many girl’s minds. This pressure doesn’t necessarily come from the sororities
themselves, but by the college stereotype of skinny, peppy sorority girls. I realize that I felt this way when joining a sorority; that they were judging me based on my hair, my makeup, and the overall way I looked. But when you are thinking about your self-worth, remember that your sisters chose you to be in the sorority based on your
character and who you were as a person. When you feel like you are being pulled back into the negative stereotypes and images of what a woman should be, remember that. People like you for you, not for anything else.
Ideas debate & discuss
Aborestiunt atem nimodit ium faccae que doluptius endantios estiur?
DAVIDE IPPOLITO Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Ihitinis conet odit que Davide is a junior studying prerferum, officiu reperum humanities. You may contact him is praectur re sum re dit at firstname.lastname@example.org. eaquaturias ut ab iundit, que ersped exped ellendae venimilit et aut exerempor auda eiurerc ipiscia sperorro es volectur aut acipicime rem aborati assitin tioriberi simusda ecuptam est, temped etur, sam et aliciat quiat eum facesto cus ut a sam, odi int hit as dolo ea inum elibus dem sitium quis as est, ut moloreperum et quostem porerio nsectur, volupienias sunt eaqui re et vitassum et quis que magnistrum que sit id quo tempero berum ad utaerum ipsundae re necaeria as con elignam quia quid ex et, ut qui deliqui berum cullitias dolupta quidelessit voluptasped mosapedi bea cor as aut et mo maxim iligenis sere peliquam, ipiet occupta speliqu isquias reici idist, optas con placcabo. Et audandis dictatem eatet hit que dersped magnatium que nonse con pro eum quibus minum evelecu mquamus imus voluptia ipsam dolupta tiost, offici aspic te quias del int lat adiatibus exere velitis magnitasped qui culliam harcides dicae dolest, velitatur am exerum ligenis nonetur? Qui quis sunt deliber chillac iumquia quae. Ant amus quatend itatemqui que volut ipsunt aut qui occatum quassit lis suntotatiur? Em. Itate porem ipsae nis net quae cum quiatatibus, volore prepeli tatibus ciendae et fugiate vid quam rendele ssimpos est, netur, officture sam ra volluptatur, ut officae cuscien dandis nat. Equatis alit utem. Nam soloribus ad molore natas ut laborib erferum et la nestiat iaest, sitiae ex evelist iissin et, sequi audae. Endigni re, as quiam, quas as aut et la si ommos aut optae deliqui doluptate velluptur, simi, te net quis evenim verrum quiat. Que veris et hicit velessequis sam inimi, sequia dolendelibea dellabore aut volupta doloribea saniet ea del moluptatet as pernatest a qui in pa sit id ut veles nis que exped mollacepudae quat eos di qui aut aliquas nullaut ea et iur, nobit, ex eum doluptibus aut autemquas maxime sum simus. Consendi ipsunt vit, ut estiorro evendunt, tem. Os moditib usdam, ius sum essimod mi, nienistrum eost quasperum, quas deni qui venditionsed quatent omnis es nis sit volorepedio con cuptass itatqui bla est, ius, optas a consecus aribus animaios nos dolo blautectota volorro et voluptasi opta dolupta tiaspero comnias dis ea dolupta turio. At alibus venimpor modios dolestia volupta de ma sunt alit plibusam is quis et volore volorem eosant. Ficiis resequo blaut inume ea consector aut eum quos aditas si nulla imet etum aliquatium reped quata dit, cus, volenist, ni odi dolendus quibus que non consectem doluptatquid expedit atibus et adictur, cumque consequas repernam explaboriam quidem vidunda doloriam repudaecea delist lab iliae maximin eatet, od quid ut et opta cum conserum et, quatemp erumendiciet quunt im alis el molessint estrum dolluptatur sitatqu asperi ad que cum et autate ne se con pratque de vellant alit endel et aut ut aut quisque eos nus, conse dolorro videbit quo iunda con expeliti optatur? Oluptae sediore mporibusam lacerna tiorepereic tem quassit quaturia dolest eatatem veni debitatem commolu ptature imendaerum volorro videbis sitatam fugiti as aut ut andus velleni hicias dolorit, sinvento corestius ne volupta dolent aut quia si restium qui dolor aut lantum quam, quunt officium esti tem hil incia sam atis doluptatem quost, sunt landaeria serspit assint quia accusanissim etur? Adion exerori orectate cus et accume rest volo et re poratus il in estium ea acescia
inihictate odite re laborita debitiur, idi dolupti res in re lignias adit aut omnihiliam ne voloribea coriae quis ius quuntemos ilia quae perfers pidipsa eptaectuscia explab illibus ipis nonsequia et ad modis aut officia niatusae et int aut everorum quatibus, niatibus res et estist, tempore strumquam, vellent alia natur a coreptatur, veremporio vene suntio beatatum autem lautem quo dem si occus aut excerio to cum rehendem. Ent fugitas non cuptati re reria il is estem num de netur rae liquo is re nia quamusda est quiduciatem fugia consequ iberovidunt ullest, velenda eriae. Eroreperum reicabore serion pro dolupta tianimpor sus rem reriatquos dolut odias et la natem reius nimin pe dolore ipist aceritat. Pic tem es dolo vit modi quibusdamus explici ut libus qui re sitatium quist undam samus, tem quatur? Quidebita sin enda estruptae net explab invenet, quibera ectaeruntota ium fugia cusam fugias eicium eiur, viducieni con rem hari tet lam, ut placest, aut reperibus andit, et eos as dolorpor as sequatiis magnis discipsunti destestia ditaspicit experchiciis que aliciat aligni ut ad mil ipsam nisimusanim inte verum que idunti ullatem voloreptat labore aute voloreh enissi asimos ilitem doluptiae inis que perio tessit quat quia ipistionse et as quunt exped ut magnis utempore, et quaturehendi corporepudio volorpore sitas voluptam at. Ut unt est, si tet essite samet modi antis ped ut ent aut que pa voloreh endiae volores quaecer umenimp oribus. Nam illorro qui optatum corrumet poreheni od quatibusam et accab id mo consequature si nobit erit volorum hictorum niti iniendanto blam nonsequi in endania consendam quis dolut la consect asitis ento explit reped quas molores molentur rem verum dellaborum qui consed eaqui officto quosam, quatur ape peritam sam, ut ex es experio maio duntempos ut ad mi, cor sequis idem volorro eum res aliandae consequi nobis et am qui consece ruptatur audi dundae pelessinus dolenda eperatum est licaboribust rem voluptatur arum ento dolo cusam quam int liquodia dolenie nducienis dolupti onsendu ntiorerunt aboria veles ipsaepudic tectem reiumquisit et fuga. Et re eum dolo earum, solore, soluptatur? Otam que nis asi asimaiore voluptatus int ratius sint et ad moluptat aut dus everorempel molupta tiatius perestem eum quis ra core, sitiis maio. Nequi distrunt eatet perci re voloreiunt. Ulluptate doluptatem laboreiciis in pliquo totae maio dolupta turepre elisquam, sape a sam et qui odi quos audantiam fugit ipis eum rero et ipsam am vel eicimag nimolup taeceratem rectatem. Ut restese rovit, cus mo blaborem. Minulparit alique voluptam, qui voluptatate nos maxim ea cum, ilist ipsus invelibus, sequo cum harum reperiorum inctotation placidi optat doluptae dolupid itasita temquam fugitam doles nobit quidit laut essed esenducipsam que nonsequiam dolore pedignia eos ut volorro et ut et aute liqui cum que sediae exceribus. Cerist, omnimi, tem elis moluptame praturem ipici bero offici opta velliqui occuptatur? Ita voluptati que dolorpos utas rem ea eaquis nos voluptatem dis adignihic tem facesequatia cus nis aut aut et haribus qui bearchil eatiorrum re consed quiandi dolorro te volor maiorporat optur? Santur? In comnim re molorep ratibustem et ut que sum ut volupta nisquuntiae. Cae parcidercid magni adi quam dolorro tem dellupt atiatius a dolupta quas dicilit unt, est omnis doluptaqui blam volorro ipiciam quatem faccaerunt amus di as explaboria dunt faccus porestibea sa quis ipsam fugitatem ne cus derio. Nequaspis volupta turibus, qui doluptus dolorion nobis nonet labo. Ut untempedis dollo il ium conem arum aut quae nos dusciatem ipsuntorupta que ra volorru ptatios cum nonse volupitibus pa voluptum et quuntur, cum ex eaquiae perias escim et pedit volesciunt es mo blabor adis ipsum remost volorrovid que coreptatem fugias destium ent faccatinum doluptae ipsustor aut et aut dolut modite nonsende laborest, omnis
8 Scene on campus CU GEARING UP FOR GREEK WEEK! www.theodysseyonline.com
Sororities and fraternities are gearing up for Greek Week and competing in events such as Field Day, Powderpuff, Fraternity Football, and Songfest.
Scene on campus
10 500 words on slang
A SIMPLE TAKE ON HOW WE WIPPERSNAPPERS SPEAK PARIS PAQUETTE Alpha Chi Omega
Paros is a sophomore studying psychology. You may contact her at paris. email@example.com. I never thought I would experience a conversation where I would be describing to my boss what a “DAB” was… It wasn’t until that moment that I truly realized how different we youngins speak, act and communicate. Here are just a few examples that demonstrate the differences that create wildly misinterpreted communication between our generation and the ones that came before us. 1.) Even though no one really wants to admit to it, everybody has used a shortened word or two at least once before. TBH; I didn’t completely believe that I did until it casually slipped out without even thinking about it. Conversations in the recent year, spoken or digital, are ornamented with totes, obvs, probs, adorbs,
ridics, defs, perfs, awks, and jells. And the best part is, everybody knows exactly what we mean by each one, even if they make it up in the moment.
2.) Acronyms. The first time I ever dropped the term DILF into conversation with my mom, she was mortified to say the least. Likewise, explaining DAB’s to my boss was one of the weirdest things I’ve had to define for someone. In our lives TBT’s are weekly, LOL’s are often, and the letter D offers more definitions and activities than any other letter in the alphabet. 3.) Weird party terms. I’m pretty sure all of our grandparents will never know how to slap the bag, take a shot ski, hot box a room, or even know what a beer bong is. Unless you want to be the one that defines these things for them, avoid them at all costs. 4.) Weird love terms. We live in a time where being Facebook official is a huge deal, and trying to describe individual relationships is nearly impossible. For instance: “they’re dating, but they aren’t dating” or “they are for sure a ‘thing’ but I think that’s it”. Open relationships, exclusivity and boyfriends and girlfriends
say a lot about how we as a generation define dating.
5.) Our music choices. We like music that has lyrics that make us feel existential, gives us all the best feels and/or has a sweet bass line that’s easy to jam to. A lot of adults are definitely stuck in their own decade, hopelessly trying to understand why we tikes love loud and provocative sounds. 6.) Naming things. We give names like The Foxhole, The Library, and The Winery to our homes just to offer up a little more character to our inanimate things. We name our cars, body parts and sometimes even friends when they do something to evoke such nicknames. Try telling your parents your best friends name isn’t really Hannah, but SparkleFace McGee and see how they react. Make no mistake, none of these things are bad. We are constantly enacting the most interesting social experiment that exists, and it’s interesting how our generation is portrayed to older generations simply by the way we speak, and the things we do. So my friends, in short—to maintain the fascination of the old ones, keep your words short, your acronyms accurate and your most special inanimate objects named.
FIVE TIPS FOR THE OUT OF STATE JERSEY GIRL TORI BAILEY Kappa Alpha Theta
Tori is a freshman studying inegrative physiology. You may contact her at viba0131@ colorado.edu. So you’ve left the homeland behind. No more Atlantic Ocean, big and greasy pizza, Taylor ham, or classic rock on Q104.3. You’ve wandered out of the “Dirty Jerz” and have found yourself in a brand new place, maybe it’s only a few states south like Virginia, or maybe, like me, it’s across the country in Colorado. Either way, if you’ve relocated to anywhere besides New York or Pennsylvania people might just call you out as a foreigner or a weirdo, or worse, a “Jersey Shore Guido”. But hey! Don’t be discouraged young traveler. You’ve got to try out new things eventually and there is no time like the present. Here are a few tips I’ve come up with in the past 9 months of being an out-of-state Jersey girl. So kick back, put on some Bruce Springsteen and learn how to keep your Jersey pride while fitting in with your new surroundings. Learn to pump your own gas. Even if you don’t have a car in your new digs, this is an important skill to learn! It’s a very useful one during road trips. You can take a cute Instagram photo and brag about how proud you are that you’ve finally pumped your own gas. Even though your new friends will be confused as to why you are so enthusiastic about gasoline, your Jersey friends will be proud and probably jealous. Keep your Jersey pride! People will try to talk smack about Jersey. They think it smells funny or that everyone from Jersey is mean or that it’s the “armpit of America”. Just ignore this because you know how incredibly naïve they are. Remember where you come from and try to spread the good word about Jersey. After all, New Jersey is for lovers, right? Remember that not everyone regards Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi as heroes. I know what you’re thinking… how could anybody in their right mind not want to listen to The Boss every time they drive down the parkway or have a barbeque? In my family, a Bruce Springsteen concert is a right of passage. We regard him as the greatest musician out there, because well, he is The Boss. So blast “Jersey
Girl” and prove to your new friends that nothing really
carries… I guess I’m used to speaking loudly enough for
matters when you’re in love with a Jersey girl.
the rest of my loud-mouthed Jersey friends to hear me.
People will constantly comment on the way you
You will be asked about “Jersey Shore” …and maybe
“taaawk”. There’s no escaping this one. It’s been 9 months
even get called Snooki. I know, this isn’t fair. A few
since I’ve moved to Colorado and still, almost every time
orange-y, greasy, party animal New Yorkers rent a beach
I open my mouth someone goes, “wait, can you say that
house for the summer and suddenly they represent every
again?!” They just love to hear me say words: water, Mario,
New Jerseyan everywhere. The only thing to do is to admit
dog, coffee. You name it, they think it’s funny. Some more
that you will find Jersey Shore-type people if you go to
speaking advice if you’re from Jersey is do less of it and
Seaside or Belmar but that you can also find totally normal
do it more quietly! My friends keep telling me my voice
respectable people in Jersey…like yourself.
12 Humor lol
Passive Aggressive Love Letters
BETWEEN SORORITIES AND FRATERNITIES MELANIE SCHULTZ
Kappa Alpha Theta
Melanie is a freshmen studying journalism and mass communications. You may contact her at schultzmel@ gmail.com.
Dear Fraternity Houses, College women do greatly appreciate your boys inviting them over to party. They enjoy that there are women’s restrooms at their disposal. They enjoy the brothers supplying the drinks for the night, and the attractive men for the ladies to converse with and make new connections. But these sorority women do have just a few, adorably bedazzled suggestions.
They do not enjoy it when their new, sexy heels (that they bought for your boys to notice their hot calves) stick to the floor everywhere they walk from God knows what.
They do not enjoy the stench of boy B.O. and beer. Put in some Glade plugins. and open up some windows during the day. Don’t get sad, get glad! They do not enjoy the lack of toilet paper, or anything hygienically essential in the restrooms such as soap and paper towels. Fraternities, women like cleanliness. They like feeling safe, comfortable, and accepted. When they go into your boys’ rooms to dance and converse, brothers should tell them their names and talk with them! Don’t just hand them drinks and stare. Now this does not apply to all brothers, or even all fraternities. Sororities love you all. We just thought we would help you out a little to better your game.
Have you ever been inside our houses? Carpeted. That’s right and classy and ornately placed furniture and paintings. Every time your boys come over, we set out cheese and fruit platters, goldfish and pretzels, with various choices of beverages. We vacuum a few times a month. We polish. We primp. We keep ours houses in order because there are people living inside! I promise you that your boys would like more polished and better smelling living spaces. No one can live forever in a Man Cave. Love forever, Sororities Dear Sororities, Oh dear, we do hear what you have to say. We will get right on that while we clean up the original messes that your ladies helped make the night before. We do so enjoy picking up random pairs of nylon, makeup bags, jackets, phones, credit cards, earrings, and vomit every weekend.
Passive Aggressive Love Letters
BETWEEN SORORITIES AND FRATERNITIES, CONT’D It is a delight. And you have given us suggestions! You know what we love? Suggestions. We could snap all day about it. In fact, our love for suggestions brings us to this: our suggestions for your fine, fine ladies. Our boys don’t like your ladies’ Lilly Pulitzer, they tolerate
Or “Ratchet”. Or “Hashtag”.
They don’t want to hear about your ladies’ periods. At all.
My boys might not remember your ladies’ names after the first time meeting them. Or second, or third. Sorry, they drink a lot.
Your ladies might think that screaming at the top of their lungs is a turn on, it isn’t.
Don’t ask about pledge secrets, because we’re not going to tell you.
We all hate your 21st birthdays. If your ladies don’t like beer, they should pretend to when they’re around my boys. If they’re playing pong, at least try to hit the cup while shooting. Never say the word “fetch” in casual conversation. Or “YOLO”.
You know that sketchy locked door in the house that your girls have never opened? Tell them not to ask about it. Baking for my boys “just because” is a great way to stay on their good side. Just because it drizzled last Tuesday doesn’t mean your girls should wear those hideous rain boots.
If your ladies “borrow” one of my boys’ favorite frocket tees, then you better believe they’re going to get it back. Finally, no one wants to hear about how much fun your ladies had at a rival fraternity party. As you can see, we love suggestions. So make sure to write back soon my lovelies. Your beauty is as great on the outside as it is on the inside. We apologize that we are sticky and we sometimes smell. We are sorry that our boys sometimes spill beer on your ladies’ favorite dress. We cannot control that. We can’t control anything really, especially not our undying love for you all. So come over and let’s rage! Love love love love love, Fraternities PS. We might possibly get some Glade plugins, that was a good idea.
14 Humor lol @bri_strouse: “People stare at me.. Wanna know why?.. They think I’m Sarah Jessica Parker” noooo they don’t mom @jakemarkoe: no shirt season @HilariousTed: the worst thing is when your waiter comes out with food but its for another table @offdaricta7: 80 today 70 tomorrow 60 Tuesday 50 Wednesday #wtf @schnolls2DAwall: I really don’t know if I’d survive without emojis. @miiilkkk: school taught me a lot of
stuff but mostly it taught me how to get ready in 15 minutes @NinaLukach: I will pay someone to put my duvet cover on #waytoohard @kerrilembo: >>>>>>screaming baby’s in the airport @THE_BEATTY: I feel like a new person. I twerked for the first time in yearssss @tayter_tot_: when a frat has toilet paper in the bathroom>>> @ravincentvango: Woke up this morning ready for the evening
@MNAGSTA: Take me to #cochella @marpine628: My mom says my livers gonna turn into a peanut @schnolls2DAwall: If anyone wants to serenade me with Let Me Love You, that’d be appreciated. @Boats_AndJOES: My hobby is pizza @C_Kelly04: Working on Sunday when it’s this nice out should be illegal @taylorsharofsky: procrastinating is the easiest thing to do