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April 17, 2014 | Volume 4, Issue 28 | Boulder, CO | @Odyssey_CUNEW | Instagram: OdysseyCU |


SPRING BREAK HANGOVER CURE page 3 COMFORT FOODS: EVIL OR NECESSARY? page 10 THAT FESTIVAL GUY: IS IT YOU? pages 12-13 Boulder dispensaries prepare for 4/20. Photo credit: Richard Bay

2 editor's note



Erin is a junior studying psychology pre-med. You may contact her at

The semester has flown by, with Greek Week winners already being announced tonight at the end of Songfest. As our favorite week comes to a close, and is surely to be followed by the best parties CU has ever seen, it’s time to reminisce. For some, graduation is only a few weeks away and their time at the greatest university in existence is almost up. Even though I still have another year ahead of me, I’m already getting teary-eyed thinking about my graduation and leaving Boulder behind. Despite the ever-changing weather and a football team that leaves more to be desired, Boulder is by far the best place to go to school. So whether you’re a senior graduating in May or a sophomore halfway there, let’s make the most of our time left here.

???in the buff pool. Okay, okay, I know it’s not open yet… So instead, make your way to the newly renovated Rec center and take advantage of the fact that you don’t have to pay for a gym membership on your own quite yet. You can even run on the treadmills that overlook the construction being done on the pool shaped like our school mascot. And when it finally opens, I’d better see you all there.

Take a picture with the buffalo. Speaking of Ralphie, have someone take a picture of you in front of the buffalo statue on Regent. You know we all did it as incoming freshman, so it’ll be even better to take one as a graduating senior. And this time you won’t be offended if anyone mistakes you as a freshman, because we’d all give anything to have four more years here. Go on a bar crawl. By this point in time, we’ve all probably found our favorite bars to drink at on the weekends. But take a weekend to relive your 21st birthday and bar hop around Pearl Street, visiting every bar you can and maybe even writing your name on the walls to leave your mark. Relive the days when you thought bars were cool and mysterious, a place where the alcohol tasted just a little bit sweeter. Go to your favorite breakfast places. Only in Boulder do we have The Buff, Snooze, and The Walnut Café in one place.

Spend the day eating omelets, turkey bacon, pancakes, and granola while sipping your dirty chai. Soon enough, you’ll miss being able to cure your hangover with the best pancakes in all of Colorado and those morning mimosas will never sound more appealing. Go hike the Flatirons at sunrise. The Flatirons should be Boulder’s unofficial mascot, next to Ralphie. Go on a hike, alone or with a few close friends, and reflect on your years here, or the years to come. Boulder, Colorado is one of the most beautiful places in the world (in my humble opinion), so take advantage of the scenery while you can. Bond with your Greek family. They may not be your blood relatives, but your Greek family is one of the hardest things to leave behind. Find some shirts and hats, and maybe even craft something to leave behind to your Littles and Grandlittles. Go out to one more family dinner and keep your legacy going strong even after you’ve left CU. No matter how many things you cross off your list, leaving college and going into the real world isn’t easy. But at the very least, you can make sure that your four years here at CU are unforgettable.



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Editor-In-Chief Erin Major,

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Scene on campus




Christian is a sophomore studying psychology. You may contact him at April 20th has come to live in infamy in this town.

Will all that change?

Historically, it’s been something like the holiday of

an inside joke celebrated in plain sight at the University of Colorado at Boulder but more often in basements of American suburbia.

The legalization of marijuana in the state of Colorado

this year introduces the holiday’s next iteration and cements its place as one of the stranger, legitimate local

holidays in the nation. Will 4/20 grow in Boulder to what St. Patrick’s Day is in Boston?

When Colorado legalized marijuana, state law seemed

to butt heads with school policy. Campus smoke-outs

turned into shut-downs, and national media circled

in, ready to capture every minute of what was all but

billed as a circus. Last year, while a resident of Sewall Hall, I remember walking through Norlin Quad to get

to The Hill, and there were at least 20 police officers on the Quad alone. Now that marijuana can be consumed in plain site the town of Boulder and the University of

Colorado’s campus will be expecting changes in the way that students celebrate the holiday.

What’s different is that the sources of marijuana now

operate as legal, legitimate businesses. Dispensaries are

still fairly new to the nation, so I thought it would be interesting to walk into one and see how the employees

run this new form of business. I must say, it was very interesting to walk into a dispensary for the first

time and see what it’s like, and I honestly wouldn’t

be surprised to see more states in the US opening dispensaries within their respective vicinities.

Like liquor stores on St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de

Mayo, local dispensaries are going to be packed to the brim with people stocking up for the festivities. In order

to get an idea as to how the dispensaries in Boulder are going to prepare for 4/20, fraternity brother Rick Bay

and I went to Terrapin Care Station to speak with the manager and get some answers.

I spoke with manager Kris Knox, and he mentioned

that they are making sure that the store will be having extra stock of the more popular strains weighed out

and ready to go, along with the more popular edibles

that they have available. There will also be six registers

lined up and ready to go in order to ensure a smooth flow of traffic in and out of the store. Cones are going

to be put out in order to promote a more organized line of traffic flow as well.

Knox had also mentioned that while business is

typically pretty slow usually, he expects business to

turn up on 4/20 and recommended that customers stop

in before the “holiday.” He also mentioned that he will most likely be closing the store a little sooner than usual,

which customers might consider counterintuitive. Since

people are probably going to be running in and out of the store all day long, the employees at Terrapin want to close a little earlier in order to clean and organize the store after what should be hectic day for the dispensaries in Boulder.

4 Scene on campus

Ideas debate & discuss


I’M NOT JUST HERE TO GET MY MRS DEGREE Walking around campus,

I all too often hear groups

of girls chatting about

getting an “MRS degree”

upon graduating college.

An MRS degree is the idea that women go to college to take a few classes, while


Kappa Alpha Theta Kendal is a freshman studying speech, language and hearing sciences. You may contact her at

expecting to meet a rich, pre-

med husband that will be able to buy them a big pretty house in the future. When I hear

girls talking about their greatest aspiration being to find a husband, the feminist in me cringes. College, although a great time to date, is not a big, extremely expensive version of College is about finding yourself, becoming an expert in your field, and making yourself credible to land your dream job and make the world a better place.

Growing up, we all dream of how we will meet Prince Charming and plan out our

perfect wedding. We dream of the day that we finally find “the one” and live happily

ever after. But what if we instead channeled all that energy that we put into searching for a guy into changing the world?

Sorority women make up the largest organization at the University of Colorado, and it

is all strictly led by women. As sorority members, we are individually unique and together complete. Individually, we are some of the most intelligent, caring, and creative women on campus. Together, we are a huge force to be reckoned with. We need to use our huge

influence of leadership at CU to empower each other as women, and learn how to make this world better for everyone.

Instead of using college as a time to find a husband to depend on, use this time to

improve upon yourself and others. Focus your positive energy on bettering yourself

and learning as much as you can about your potential career field from CU’s top-notch professors. Take advantage of the amazing opportunity at CU and go out and meet people

and make connections. College is a time to be a little selfish, focus on yourself and become the best woman you can be.

In today’s day and age, hearing someone refer to themselves as a “feminist” (gasp!) often

makes people shudder. Unfortunately, feminists receive a bad reputation by many, because people have the wrong idea of what a feminist truly is. They picture them as frumpy,

old, men-hating women, who want to control the world. In reality, a feminist is defined as “a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”

Feminists are actively working to make the world better for women and men. Feminists

are leading the revolution of gender equality and are caring, successful individuals who want the best for everyone.

As the powerful group of philanthropic, intelligent and ambitious sorority women we

are, it is time to embrace what it means to be a feminist in today’s society and empower the women around us. We have the opportunity to achieve equal rights for women because we are living in the middle of the conflict. The fact is, sexism still exists in today’s

society. Whether it be unequal pay for the same performance at work, discrimination in the workplace or sexual harassment, gender equality unfortunately does not exist yet.

However, as sorority girls we have the ability to change the world for our sisters,

daughters and ourselves. Instead of focusing on chasing a guy all the time, and receiving

an MRS degree, focus on becoming the best person you can be. Become the best leader in your field, and revolutionize your area of study. Take care of yourself while at CU. Stay

active, stay healthy. Try new things. Land internships. Take risks. Make mistakes. Travel all over the world. Understand other cultures. Be adventurous and ambitious.

Use your time at CU to explore new things and better yourself the best you can. It is time

to realize that the world is changing for women. It is time to stop viewing college as an opportunity to get a MRS degree. Take college for what it is really for: to get a top-notch

education and change the world. And let’s face it, while you are active in pursuing your own ambitions and dreams, you’ll probably find a great guy along the way.

6 Ideas debate & discuss

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE In this day and age, there

are things that should be common sense by now. For

instance, racism and sexism

aren’t tolerated, cigarettes are known to cause lung

cancer and are no longer

Martin, was only 14 when she had a precancerous mole removed. Katie Donnar was


diagnosed with melanoma in 2009 at the ripe age of 17. Erin O’Connor’s mother died


Megan Fox said in an issue of Allure that she swore off tanning “because of the damage

Gamma Phi Beta

Erin is a junior studying psychology pre-med. You may contact her at

considered “cool”, and our generation is more open and

accepting to issues such as gay marriage. However, there is one fad that hasn’t lost its popularity despite national attention, numerous studies, and many deaths because of it. I’m talking about indoor tanning.

Going to high school in Colorado, where the sun shines almost every day of the year, I

had only heard of girls going to tanning beds before events such as prom or their sister’s

wedding. Colorado is known for its natural beauty, and that includes the natural beauty of its residents as well. Tanning beds just weren’t a “thing” growing up. But when I arrived in Boulder, and especially after joining the Greek community, tanning was more prevalent and it seemed like everyone was doing it. But does that make it okay?

Let’s start with the facts. According to researchers who have analyzed 88 studies from

the past 20 years (which include around 500,000 participants), tanning beds cause more

cases of cancer than cigarettes ( The research also finds that indoor tanning is on the rise, with 43% of university students tanning within the

past year. The World Health Organization listed tanning beds as definitive causes of

cancer and for those who tan indoors during their teens and 20’s, the risk of melanoma (the most dangerous form of skin cancer) jumps 75% (

Of all the cancers out there, skin cancer is the most common, since so many people

spend time in the sun without protection, and also due to things such as indoor tanning.

In 2014 alone, it is estimated that melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer, will account for more than 76,000 cases of skin cancer ( Along

with melanoma, more than 3.5 million cases of basal and squamous cell skin cancer are diagnosed each year as well. And of these cases, melanoma accounts for more than 9,700 of the 13,000 skin cancer deaths each year. The rate of melanoma (the deadliest

form of skin cancer) has also increased 800% among young women and 400% among young men (

When you’re young and in your early twenties, it’s easy to ignore the risks and hazards

that you subject your body to. Drinking, drugs, and a culture that revolves around partying and the slogan “you only live once” is detrimental to our generation in many

ways. But indoor tanning is among one of the worst things you could do to your body. I’ve heard girls say things before, such as “I don’t care if I die young, as long as I’m tan!” I understand that it’s easy to get caught up in the present and to be selfish in our

twenties. But when you’re in your 40’s, you’ll have other priorities, responsibilities, and people to think about beside yourself.

Several beauty pageant contestants, who used to tan indoors to look polished and

sun-kissed for competitions, have taken a stand against tanning. One of the girls, Karissa

from melanoma, causing her to take a stand ( In 2010, and the possible skin cancer”.

It’s no secret that having a tan helps girls and guys look more toned and sculpted,

seem healthier, and helps people to feel more confident. But is indoor tanning worth the risk of dying young and cutting off years of your life? So many healthy alternative

methods to tanning exist, such as spray tans, airbrushing, self-tanning lotions, tan towels, makeup, and even natural sunlight, which has 10 times fewer UV rays than a tanning bed (just make sure to wear sunscreen!). There have been so many strides made within the tanning industry to create a streak-free, natural, and HEALTHY tan.

As someone with a family history of skin cancer and who has had family members die

due to melanoma from sun exposure, I’ve sworn off indoor tanning and have always urged my friends to as well. We’ve always been taught that the color of our skin doesn’t

define us and that appearances aren’t everything. So let’s put those words into actions, because you really do only live once.

Ideas debate & discuss



What we have been fed from Hollywood since we were young has always been artificial. Nowadays, we don’t even know what we truly want, like, need, or feel. In college, there is a lot of pressure to be perfect, but we must remember that we must leave room for error if we are ever to discover anything about ourselves. Pretty Woman shows us that if you are a cleanly, youthful, and gorgeous enough hooker, you will eventually meet a millionaire who wants to marry you. “Rags to Riches” is one of the more popular Hollywood narrative themes. Even though almost every Disney Princess movie backs up this trend, and all of these films are very exciting to watch, are they dangerous to our society? Little girls are raised in a world where all of Nickelodeon’s leading ladies are tan, thin, gorgeous, have long, thick hair, white teeth, and are never as young as their character truly is. This begs me to ask the question: do we shape the media, or does it shape us?

Divorce rates have increased from 0.9 thousand to 3.6 thousand in the past few decades, which could be caused from a multitude of reasons. However, one of those factors is definitely because of how Hollywood is shaping our views on romance. The fact that Hollywood sells us an enhanced version of romance should come as no surprise, of course. But does that portrayal reflect a pre-existing expectation that film viewer’s hold or does it instill it? Everyone has seen their fair share of romantic comedies, whether their girlfriend dragged them to it, or it was girl’s night and The Notebook was on. Viewers of romantic comedies are more likely to believe in fate and destiny, and have misconceptions of what love is. Stereotypically, women believe that if your partner truly loves you, they will know what you need without you communicating it and that your soulmate is predestined. In reality however, men are usually clueless as to what women really want. A recent interview I had with Rachel Rosenfeld and Emily Schultz only proved how much Hollywood has affected their lives, and even their relationships. Emily stated that her dream man “has blonde hair and blue eyes, just like the Prince Charming in Cinderella”. While this Arian mystery man is many girls’ dream, the character in Cinderella was nameless; Just an animated face and body, hardly a suitable subject to support you and your children one day financially. Stories such as Pretty Woman and Cinderella cast false hopes on youths that you don’t need a college degree, wit, or even a personality. If you are a hot piece of ass under the Male Gaze, then your own “Rags to Riches” story will play out eventually. The strong women of yesterday have died, and this new generation has different moral values. Rachel told us that her childhood dream was to “become a ballerina, so I did just that”. Rachel went on to dance throughout her life, even though she stopped a few years ago. Emily’s childhood dream was to “be the next Britney Spears”. Britney Spears went on to raise her children alone, shave her head, and go to rehab. Ballerinas have to perform unnatural movement such as turning out their hips, standing upon pointed toes (crushing a woman’s feet), and being irregularly thin. Each of these childhood dreams did not quite turn out as they had hoped, even though media states that ballet is high class, a fine art, and Britney Spears started out on Disney Channel, and was many little girls’ role model. The classic Hollywood narrative spoon-feeds its audience exactly what it wants the people to understand. This “invisible style” can show an old Western scene where a white man’s black maid is helping him wash his feet. With the magical use of editing, camera angles, focus, and lighting, the white man will have the camera angled up at him, making him look in a place of power, and the camera will unfocus on the woman, so that the audience only pays attention to the white male. Hollywood will never be able to tell their audience the exact truth. Every single thing we see on that screen is controlled and specifically chosen for that Kappa Alpha Theta scene. If we are never seeing Melanie is a freshmen studying the truth, then what do we journalism and mass communications. really know about reality in You may contact her at schultzmel@ our society?


8 Scene on campus



Scene on campus



Tri Delta’s “Triple Scoop” and Kappa Kappa Gamma’s “Sweet Home Kappa Gamma” were a hit!

10 greek life traditions


Tori is a freshman studying inegrative physiology. You may contact her at viba0131@ Facebook notification. What could this be? Maybe it’s the frat star you’re crushing on liking your adorable new profile picture. Or a reminder posted on the Greek Week page to bring in more cans. Hopefully it’s not a poke from the guy who didn’t get the memo that poking is so 2010. Oh no! It’s much worse; your new member educator just posted in the new member group reminding everyone that paddles for bigs are due in 3 days. This can’t be happening. Weren’t they just assigned yesterday? Er... maybe a few days ago. You don’t even have any ideas! You’ve got two options: the first is to avoid crafting and instead pay your art major friends $20 to make a beautiful paddle for your Big. The second option is to make your paddle as simply and as well as you can and hope that your Big loves you enough to hang it on her wall anyway. The issue with the first option is that it’s not very personal and you might feel guilty about lying


Kappa Alpha Theta

Melanie is a freshmen studying journalism and mass communications. You may contact her at schultzmel@

to your Big. The issue with the second option is that you might feel embarrassed and hurt if your Big doesn’t absolutely love your paddle that doesn’t live up to her Pinterest expectations. If you go with the second option, remember there is one rule: keep it simple. Sure, your twin is able to paint Lilly Pulitzer patterns but you sure as hell can’t, so don’t even try! My personal go-to craft supplies include Modge Podge, tissue paper, and glitter. It’s super easy to tear up tissue paper and paint some Mod Podge over it. The whole point of this type of crafting is to create random-looking shapes and sizes, and there really isn’t a wrong way to do it. If, however, tissue paper and Modge Podge isn’t your style, go for the paint and gems or fake flowers look. This requires slightly more creative thinking than the other idea, but it is still pretty easy. First, choose your paint color - typically a pastel will work. Think of all the pairs of Chubbies your favorite frat boy wears; any of those colors will do. Next, paint the whole paddle, front and back, in that color. Or if you’re up to a challenge, choose two colors and make it striped (using tape as a guide) or polka-dotted. Now that your paddle is already better than you ever imagined it could be, grab your hot glue gun and decorate the border with fake flowers or gems. The finishing touch on any sorority craft is some lettering. Of course you dream of being able to paint your Big’s monogram, but since that’s basically something only Picasso could do, try finding some stick on letters at the art supplies store. You can give your paddle to your Big feeling proud and maybe tell her that you’re more fun than you are crafty.

greek life traditions


A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO COOLER MAKING As fraternity formal season approaches, the basements and crafting rooms of sororities fill up with coolers, paint and Modge Podge. Dates can range anywhere from artists to amateurs, but every girl wants to make sure her cooler looks perfect.


Laura is a sophomore studying journalism. You may contact her at

If you’re one of the amateurs, that’s fine. If you’re crafty, you can make a cooler fairly easily. To help you out, I’ve come up with some of the essentials you’ll need to create the perfect cooler: 1. The first step to painting a cooler is figuring out what you want to put on it. For this, I recommend turning to Pinterest. The website is full of ideas from girls everywhere and you’re bound to find something you want to recreate. 2. After doing your research, you’ll need to come up with a plan. Pick your favorite ideas for the sides and top of the cooler and draw them out. Figure out how you’re going to execute your plan if the cooler has wheels, handles, or unique curves or indents. 3. Primer is vital to cooler painting. You need to prime your cooler before you can do anything. There are primer sprays and primer paints. With a spray, you may not get the coverage you want, but it’s a little easier. A paint will ruin your brushes and stick to you for a few days, so make sure you buy cheap brushes that you’re willing to throw out. 4. Another vital element is painter’s tape. You need to be able to tape off the top of the cooler and any edges you don’t want to accidentally get paint on. Painter’s tape is great for creating clean lines as well. It keeps your cooler looking neat and precise. 5. Tissue paper and a Sharpie are the best things to use to transfer designs onto your cooler. Put the tissue paper over the image and use a pencil to trace it. Then tape the tissue paper over the cooler and draw over it with the Sharpie. It will bleed through the paper and show up on the cooler, so you can paint it that way. 6. As a sorority girl, you should already know that Mod Podge is your best friend. After you finish each side, cover it in Mod Podge. It will seal everything and prevent chipping for a while. You can also print out images that are too detailed to paint and Mod Podge them on the sides. 7. A really important part of cooler painting is time. Coolers take a while to make, and if you’re doing them the week before formal (like I did the first time), you will definitely be staying up late some nights. Paint takes a while to dry, so you need to account for that while making your cooler. If you can, get started early so that you can take your time and actually enjoy the process. 8. Finally, you’re going to need a lot of patience. You may have a plan, but you are not always going to be able to execute that plan perfectly. It’s frustrating when you don’t paint a small detail exactly as you had pictured it, but I promise it will turn out okay in the end. 9. The most important thing to remember is if you make a mistake, don’t panic. You can probably easily fix it and if you can’t, it’s highly unlikely that your date will even notice. He’ll be so excited to be receiving a cooler at all that he’ll consider it perfect. So don’t stress the small stuff, and try to have fun with it! Cooler painting should be fun and not a task you have to complete. Once you finish your cooler, you’re one step closer to spending a relaxing weekend somewhere awesome with your date.

12 Self health & fitness


Layne is a junior studying english literature. You may contact her at layne. Saying that you are on a “diet” has such a negative stigma these days. When you tell someone that you are dieting, the question is always, “Why? You look fine!” or, “You don’t need to diet, you’re in college, its okay!” But when you’re feeling sluggish and not yourself, dieting and eating healthy seems like the best way to go. Instead of saying that you are dieting, say that you are trying to eat healthier, or you are cutting out grains, etc. Another problem with dieting is sticking to it. I know that I have a really hard time staying to my diet when there is a birthday in the house (cupcakes), someone’s parents came to town for the weekend (cookies and homemade brownies), or one of the girls is just feeling domestic (banana bread and chocolate chip cookies). If you are on a specific diet, you feel like you are cheating by eating a cookie, and it has a negative effect on you, leaving you feeling defeated or like a failure. After realizing that eating a cookie every now and then shouldn’t make me feel bad about myself, I decided it was time for a change. But what should I do instead of dieting? Eating healthy, especially in college, is a big challenge.

Organic and healthy food is always more expensive, and it also takes more time to prepare. It is so much easier to reach for the ramen noodles and Wheat Thins than the vegetables and chicken. Being a broke college student doesn’t help one lead the healthiest lifestyle, so how is anyone supposed to stick to something? After a lot of research, and looking at my empty mac and cheese bowl, I realized how many processed foods I was eating and how easy it would be to cut those suckers out! I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to cut out all processed foods right away (because I had some processed foods in my cabinet and you can’t just waste all the food and money), but I knew that I could make a start. The other plus side of this is you’re not technically on a diet. You’re just living a healthier lifestyle! Eating a cookie every now and then doesn’t feel like cheating, but it feels like a treat or a reward instead. It’s not too much more expensive to buy the fruits and vegetables, and it will last you a lot longer than a bag of Goldfish will. Cutting out processed foods was actually easy because I decided to start by making foods that would be non-processed and still taste delicious. I chose to make granola bars and after realizing that these homemade foods could still taste wonderful, it really helped me to notice that giving up processed foods wouldn’t be that hard. If you want to give up processed foods, there are tons

of websites and blogs online that have recipes for many common things that we eat every day! If you want to make granola bars like I did, here’s the recipe from “Red and Honey”. Ingredients: 2/3 cup almond butter (you could also use peanut butter which is cheaper, or sunflower seed butter, if you have nut allergies) 2/3 cup virgin coconut oil 2/3 cup honey (raw is best) 2 cup oats (gluten-free if desired) 2 cups total of any add-ins you’d like (such as chopped nuts, dried fruit, dark chocolate bits, coconut flakes, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, etc). I use my large 4-cup measuring cup and just dump in ingredients until it’s at 2 cups. How To: Mix almond butter, coconut oil and honey together in a small pot and warm until everything is melted. Stir together. Add oats. Add the rest and stir until well combined. (If using chocolate chips be sure to cool the honey mixture completely before adding the extras or else the chocolate chips will all melt). Refrigerate until firm. Cut into bars, wrap individually, and store in the fridge.

500 words on the greek system


FIVE THINGS ABOUT THE GREEK SYSTEM YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN Being in college, we like to think we know it all. We like

to think we hold the whole world in the palm of our hands.

the College of William and Mary, making it a whopping

4. The youngest woman to ever be on the cover of Forbes’

237 years old. Although PBK is an Honor Society and not

Billionaires was in a sorority. Speaking for girls everywhere,

For example, did you know the oldest fraternity is 237

start the tradition of using Greek letters as a name, which

of Spanx. Where would we be without her? Sara was a

Epsilon? While there is still so much I don’t know, these

the guide of life,” and even had top secret initiation rituals

Greek system.

1776 sounds so familiar, that’s the year America declared

Alas, this is not always the case.

a fraternity or sorority, they were the first organization to

years old? Or that George W. Bush pledged Delta Kappa

is kind of big deal. Their motto was, “Love of learning is

are just a few of my favorite things I’ve learned about the

and a special handshake. And if you’re wondering why

1. There are 123 fraternities and sororities with 9 million

members total. Nine. Million. Greeks. That’s almost 3%

of the United States’ total population. I don’t know about

its independence. So basically, Phi Beta Kappa is as old as the existence of the United States of America. Nbd. And while we’re talking about history and old things:

I send much thanks to Sara Blakely, the wonderful founder Delta Delta Delta at Florida State University, and graduated with a degree in communications. Not only is she gorgeous

and motivated, but also she has a passion for giving. In

2006, she launched the Sara Blakely Foundation to provide educational financial assistance to entrepreneurial training. You go girl.

5. The Greek system is the largest network of volunteers

3. Since 1825, all but three U.S. presidents were members

in the United States. Every year, over 1 million hours are

person in a community of 9 million. But on the other hand,

say that you’re bros with Ronald Raegan, John F. Kennedy,

Considering there’s only 8,736 hours in an entire year, that’s

the most successful, driven and ambitious people in the

Tau Kappa Epsilon, John F. Kennedy was an alum initiate of

you, but that makes me feel incredibly small and incredibly inspired at the same time. On the one hand, I’m just one

of a fraternity. But really, how cool would it be to be able to

I’m part of a community 9 million strong with some of

or Franklin D. Roosevelt? Ronald Raegan was a member of


Phi Kappa Theta, and Franklin D. Roosevelt was a member

2. The Phi Beta Kappa Society is the oldest Greek letter

organization. PBK was founded on December 5, 1776 at

of Alpha Delta Phi. On top of that, 85% of the Fortune 500

executives belong to a fraternity. I would definitely say that these frat boys have got it goin’ on.

spent volunteering by Greeks throughout the nation.

a wholllle community service! No wonder why more than $4 million dollars are raised by sororities each year for their various philanthropies.

Being in the Greek community, I have so much I’m proud

of, and each day I find another reason why I feel so truly

blessed to a part of such a strong, caring, and loyal network.

14 Humor lol @totalfratmove: Telling the owner, “We’ll take good care of her,” when renting something you know will get destroyed. #TFM. @CoachHughFreeze: Anything worthwhile takes time to build. If we have immediate success, we wouldn’t develop the character needed 2 sustain true success 4life. @WesVengeance7: Why do sorority girls hang out in odd numbers? Because they can’t even. @totalfratmove: Having an irregular heartbeat since returning from spring break. #TFM. @CollegeTownLife: I worked out three days in a row without tweeting about it where’s my award?

@totalsratmove: Being “unable to even” on a regular basis. #TSM.

Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes! Sunday: Crying.

@JimmyTatro: I blame techno music for 100 percent of my speeding tickets.

@Drunkgraduate: I plan on reliving 6th grade at the Nelly concert, but I’ll replace the awkward dancing with large amounts of alcohol.

@CollegeTownLife: F is for friends who share Netflix passwords. @itsWillyFerrell: I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me. @totalsratmove: “Let It Go” being the only song you are capable of singing when you’re belligerently drunk. #TSM. @itsWillyFerrell: Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh.

@tbhplzdont: mean girls came out on april 30th 2004. April 30th is a wednesday this year and if the whole world does not wear pink i’m moving to Saturn. @totalfratmove: Impressing her mother while simultaneously infuriating her father. #TFM. started that fire, Billy Joel; I’m just saying that innocent people don’t write songs to defend themselves.


Paros is a sophomore studying psychology. You may contact her at paris. Being in a frat is probably a whole lot different than

observing one. From the outside world looking in, frats are generous with their alcohol and greedy with their feelings.

Guys expect drunk girls, and girls expect love, so

where is it that this weird, twisted hook-up culture is

every bottle in the vicinity is empty and ready to be

clouded. Boys and girls are completely opposite species

patiently dancing to the music, girls wait for one dude

out the other is nearly impossible, and it’s hard to believe

added to the mantle of unremembered nights. Very to ever so gracefully start grinding with her, stop the party, ask for her hand in marriage, and drive her away in a black, shiny limo. Right? Wrong. As much as I would like to end this story with flying

that run on completely different wavelengths. Figuring

that Burnett’s and cheap beer will lessen any confusion.

All I’m saying is this: be honest with yourself once BAC

gets higher and your inhibitions get lower. Your feelings and your liver will thank you later.

Girls: Don’t expect a full blown Nicholas Sparks novel

doves and a romance novel movie deal, I can’t. How

to be written about you on a dark, loud dance floor that’s

different? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of

beautifully pampered hair confidently on your own

can every person at a party be expecting something so

blasting 2 Chainz. Go have a good time and lay your

awesomely wild nights. By the end of the night, everyone

pillow when you decide to hit the hay.

is only drunk off testosterone and dance music.

Guys: If you want to find a drunken princess, be a

Make no mistake, success stories totally do exist. Some

drunken prince. At the end of the day, we’re a bunch of

badge puts big black Xs on our hands. The room smells

it’s about time for everyone to be a little more realistic

So leave the sticky dance floor, kiss her good night and

over stares in all the half-dressed girls’ eyes guarantee

outcomes when 4 am rolls around and judgments are

of her underwear.

miscommunicated between the sexes?

We walk through the doors after the guy with the

girls do end up with the limo and dove deal. I just think

young humans full of hormones that must be acted on.

of stale beer, sweaty bodies, and lost dignity. The glazed

with their party motives and take into account all possible

be the guy who learns her favorite color before the color


Colorado 4 17 14 proof2  
Colorado 4 17 14 proof2