Issuu on Google+

April 10, 2014 | Volume 4, Issue 27 | Boulder, CO

www.theodysseyonline.com | @Odyssey_CUNEW | Instagram: OdysseyCU | Facebook.com/TheOdysseyColorado

CU STUDENTS ON SPRING BREAK pages 8-9

WHAT YOUR “SEX NUMBER” SAYS ABOUT YOU page 4 THE 8 PEOPLE YOU SEE AT THE GYM page 6 IF THERE WASN’T A PICTURE, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN page 10 Kendall VanHee (Pi Phi) enjoys her Spring Break in Marco Island, FL. Photo credit: Hailey Collins (Pi Beta Phi)


2 editor's note

WHY NOT US?

With the hype surrounding March Madness and the defeat of our Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl, one sport tends to get lost in shuffle. Even though there are only a few weeks until the playoffs, brackets and opening day are all anybody seems to be talking about. But in case you weren’t aware, our Colorado Avalanche hockey team is headed to the playoffs for the first time since 2010. After a disappointing season last year, hockey fans were delighted when Patrick Roy stepped in as head coach. Roy has always been a fan favorite (I proudly display my #33 jersey in my room) from back in the days when he tended the goal while Sakic, Forsberg, Hejduk, and others led the dream team to the Stanley Cup in 2001. In a single season, the Avs made the jump from 29th overall in the league (out of 30 teams) to 5th in the league as of currently.

www.theodysseyonline.com

on the field and on the court, but we can also handle ourselves on the ice as well. After all, we are from Colorado, where we are known for our gorgeous mountains and snowy weather. Even though hockey remains underrated, overshadowed by sports that have a team of scantily clad women cheering them on, I’m okay with that because the ticket prices are high enough as it is.

Our current team includes the youngest captain in the NHL, Gabe Landeskog, star-players Matt Duchene, John Mitchell, Tyson Barrie, and 18-year-old Nathan MacKinnon who’s playing in his first NHL season and has already beaten records held by hockey all-star Wayne Gretzky.

A hockey fan is unlike any other fan, die-hard and loyal until the end. There’s never a dull moment, and when a goal is scored the arena erupts, with people on their feet, high-fiving strangers (as long as they’re repping the same colored jersey). Hockey is the only sport where brawls are allowed, and even encouraged, making the sport more raw and extreme as fans from opposing teams cuss each other out. I live for the intensity of the game, and I find the sweaty, toothless players more attractive than any pretty boy football quarterback (Gabriel Landeskog, if you’re reading this, I’m available).

The team’s motto, “Why Not Us?” has never rung truer, and Colorado is making it clear that not only can we dominate

So throw on your jersey, grab your favorite beer, and let’s cheer on our boys to victory. Because after all, why not us?

ERIN MAJOR Gamma Phi Beta

Editor-in-Chief

Erin is a junior studying psychology pre-med. You may contact her at Erin.K.Major@colorado.edu.

THE ODYSSEY AT CU EXECUTIVE TEAM

CREATIVE TEAM

President Kiley Nixson,

Editor-In-Chief Erin Major,

Gamma Phi Beta

Gamma Phi Beta

Sales Executives Mal Doss, Gamma Phi Beta

Contributing Editor Apply Now!!! Social Media Director Katie Carruth, Kappa Kappa Gamma

OLYMPIA MEDIA GROUP 888.272.2595 | OlympiaMediaGroup.com Rosemary Kelly, Managing Editor | Celesta Török-Lee, Designer

We want a representative from every house! To apply for a writing, photography or sales position, TheOdysseyOnline.com/Page/WriterApplication

© 2013 Olympia Media Group, LLC All Rights Reserved.

The Odyssey is a private entity not associated or governed by CU or CU Greek life office. The views and opinions shared in The Odyssey are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Odyssey and Olympia Media Group.


Scene on campus

www.theodysseyonline.com

HOW

POSITIONS

3

CAN

FUTURE

IN THE

IN THE

HOUSE HELP YOU LAURA MISHKIND Gamma Phi Delta

Laura is a sophomore studying journalism. You may contact her at laura.mishkind@colorado.edu. When you run for a position in your house, you

probably think it’ll be a lot of fun with a little bit of

work. However, it always ends up being more work

than you expected. Every position is vital to the sorority. Without an executive board, nothing would be accomplished, and it’s amazing how much work

each member has to put in. There are forms, events to plan, sisters to manage, and you must work with your

international organization as well. However, even nonexecutive members have to do all of this as well.

It’s been a semester since I became New Member

Educator for my sorority and I never expected it to be

so rewarding - or so much work. From all the forms I have to fill out to planning Big Little reveal to weekly

meetings, the position keeps me busy. Sometimes it’s difficult to manage school as well as my position in the

house, but I’ve come to realize that by doing both, I’m developing important skills for the future.

people skills. I’m the first person our new members get

important, the most important skill I have learned this

It’s hard enough to juggle being a full-time student,

them feel welcome. Through answering their questions

means that you feel strongly about the well-being of

sorority, but having a position in the house makes it

interact with people, which will help me when it comes

and still maintain good grades. It sounds hard, but it

the only position where you can develop this skill.

homework and figure out the times you’ll be needed

international organization and communicate with other

your deadlines are for forms or event plans in order to

to work closely with the Panhellenic community. The

events you’ll need to attend so that you can get your

chapter what their dues go towards, and ensure that

effectively manage your time, you’ll be able to utilize

developed through any position that someone holds

Holding a position helps you with time-management.

to know, so I need to be able to talk to them and make

having a job, volunteering, and being a member of a

and holding meetings, I have really improved how I

even harder. You have to find time to do everything

time for job interviews. New Member Educator isn’t

is absolutely possible. The key is to set aside time for

The President of each sorority has to work with their

at the sorority. You should know ahead of time when

houses, while the position of Panhellenic Affairs has

get them done in time. You’ll also want to know what

member who handles finances has to explain to the

homework done beforehand. Once you learn how to

people are paying them on time. People skills can be

this skill for the rest of your life and come out on top.

within their house, because you have to be able to

As New Member Educator, I’ve learned how to

effectively communicate with others and utilize my

communicate with your sisters and the rest of the Greek community.

While time management and people skills are very

past semester is responsibility. Taking on a position your house and its members, and taking on the position

means playing a part in improving your house as

well. You are expected to be a leader, no matter how small your position is. You have jobs that need to be completed and you have to make sure that they get

done. And perhaps most importantly, you serve as a

representation of your entire house, as well as a national organization and Greek life as a whole.

Holding a position is a great way to prepare for the

real world. You have new responsibilities that will affect

your whole chapter and you have the opportunity to

make a change and help improve your sisterhood or brotherhood. There are so many valuable skills and

lessons that can be learned from having a position in your house, and I highly recommend giving it a try. Plus, it looks great on a resume.


4 Scene on campus

www.theodysseyonline.com

SCHOOL TELLS 8-YEAR-OLD GIRL SHE ISN’T FEMININE ENOUGH Try to think back to when you were eight years old. What were you wearing? What toys were you playing with? If you’re a girl, did you always act in the most feminine manner? For me, the answer to this question is no. In fact, I was a “tomboy” for most of my life. I rejected pretty pink shoes for these pretty ugly looking orange and black river sandals. I remember playing King of the Hill with the boys at the town football games; my best friend Carley and I would always come home with scrapes on our knees and dirt on our faces and we’d compare whose injuries made them look tougher. Being an eight-year-old tomboy was awesome. It was the best of both worlds because you got to play rough and tough with the boys, but you were also able to do all of this while wearing a dress. I don’t ever remember being penalized for my choice in clothing and activity. None of my classmates cared that I had short hair or that I was really aggressive when I played soccer. And fortunately for me, none of the adults cared either. However, this is not the case for eight-year-old Sunnie Kahle from Virginia. Sunny Kahle had been enrolled in Timberlake Christian School in Forest, VA. One day, her grandparents and legal guardians received a letter from the school asking that Sunnie either leave TCS or begin dressing “in suit with her God-ordained identity (as

a female)”. In the letter, TCS quoted certain Bible passages and alluded to the fact that Sunnie’s grandparents condoned sexual immorality in their home. Sunnie cut her hair short when she was five years old to donate it to kids with cancer. She wears shorts and t-shirts because it’s easier to play outside in that clothing than in a dress. She says that a few classmates have asked her if she is a boy or a girl but Sunnie isn’t bothered by it; she knows she is a girl, but she doesn’t want to dress or act like the most delicate, feminine girl out there. Sunnie’s grandparents took her out of the private Christian school and enrolled her in public school, where hopefully the adults and students will accept her just as she is. Sunnie’s story tugs at my heartstrings because it hits so close to home. If I had gone to TCS when I was eight, they may have asked me to leave as well. Although I think that kids are more resilient than we give them credit for, I also think that they are more impressionable. When someone of authority expresses their opinion to a child, the child often takes that opinion as golden and incorporates it into their own opinion. Hopefully Sunnie’s grandparents help her to figure out that it is not an adult’s place to say what kind of child can attend a school, and it’s also not an adult’s place to tell anyone how to properly show the world exactly who they are.

TORI BAILEY Kappa Alpha Theta

Tori is a freshman studying inegrative physiology. You may contact her at viba0131@ colorado.edu.


Ideas debate & discuss

5

IMPROVING RISK MANAGEMENT www.theodysseyonline.com

CHRISTIAN WILHELM Tau Kappa Epsilon

Christian is a sophomore studying psychology. You may contact him at jaw7950@gmail.com. Risk: A situation involving some sort of exposure or

danger to someone committing a questionable action. Based

off of my experience so far at CU, I’ve come to the realization that college involves a lot of risks. Primarily, the risks present themselves through one of the greatest aspects of college - parties. From deciding to go out a night or two before a midterm to

your actions at a party, these

peculiar social situations

place students under a lot of

risk concerning their grades, safety, and reputation.

Anyone that goes to CU knows

that this university has gained the

reputation as one of the top party

schools within the nation. To the

school’s administration it’s a rather

undesirable reputation, however to a

lot of students, it’s one of the highlights

of attending CU. From syllabus week to

Halloween to St. Patrick’s day and even 4/20,

there are several occasions throughout the year that high

inebriation seems to spread all throughout Boulder. With

in Nevada. However, all it takes is a few careless people to

completely kill the positive vibes that flow through this town. As a starting member for an upcoming fraternity here at

CU, my brothers and I are certainly improvising on ways to

avoid any of the controversy or drama that revolves around excessive partying. Although everything I’m about to list

pretty much seems like common sense, it’s still amazing to

see how much of a difference small changes can make. To start, we don’t have an official fraternity house in Boulder yet, so that leaves us with trying to throw our

elsewhere such as open lots and the hookah lounge next to Half Fast, and that’s worked out

parties

pretty well so far. It ensures that we remain extra responsible because typically the establishment doesn’t belong to us and

so we do our best to avoid any unwanted damage fees. We

typically pay for security and make a guest list in order to prevent too many people from coming in. It’s actually opened up my eyes a bit as to how letting other guys into

another’s fraternity party can really sabotage that house. A guy can come in, spike someone’s drink, and leave before

that person begins to have a bad reaction. Although I feel that this rarely happens in Boulder, there are still people like that in this world that ruin a good time for everyone.

After hearing about events where things like may happen, we have even established an EMT service for our parties. Vice-President Jerome (Jr.)

Seitz, Joe Patch, and Aaron Smith are

all certified EMT’s here at CU and are

more than happy to provide service

for those who would ever need it. And

last but not least, frater Dave Soya owns

his own shuttle bus service otherwise

known as AllRides Colorado. Depending

on where we throw our parties, we typically

like to lend a hand to any inebriated people to

make sure they get home safely.

Regardless of what reputation people like to place

on CU, it is an incredible university. Just because were notorious for throwing huge parties on a frequent basis doesn’t mean that we’re irresponsible or careless.

Whenever something unfortunate does happen over the weekend, I feel as though it’s the people who don’t

reside within Boulder’s city limits who love to use that against us. I’d just like to outline all that TKE is

that being said, it’s safe to say that being inebriated can

doing to ensure a safer, more responsible party scene

moment, more times than not with a numbed mindset, and

is doing the same. I’m not trying to preach about things

lead to carelessness as well. People get so caught up in the don’t always realize what they get themselves caught up in.

It’s a shame because the social atmosphere here in Boulder is unlike anything I’ve experienced growing up back home

and I’m sure that the majority of Greek life here at CU

that everyone should already know, but I just wanted to

recognize the people in Boulder that are helping to create the greatest and safest party experience possible at CU.


6 Scene on campus

www.theodysseyonline.com

THE SPRING BREAK HANGOVER CURE I always feel like Spring Break is just a teaser for summer vacation. A week off with only one month of Alpha Delta Chi school left is just plain cruel. Layne is a junior studying english After feeling the freedom of a literature. You may contact her at layne. week without responsibilities gudenkauf@colorado.edu. and the feeling of the warm sun on your face, going back to the daily grind of homework, classes, and the looming week of finals is almost impossible.

LAYNE GUDENKAUF

Although the motivation to finish your work, go to the gym, and to even show up to class is long gone, we all know that it has to be done. Chances are, for most of us, Spring Break was not a time for diets and the gym. More than likely, it was a time for relaxing in the sun and drinking more than enough margaritas. But Spring Break is over, and now is the time to prepare for the long haul, get your homework done, and squeeze in a quick workout. Here are a few ways to stay motivated after a week of relaxation: First, wear your gym clothes. It’s time to ditch your Ugg boots and flip flops and instead put on your favorite tennis-shoes and a t-shirt. So many times my excuse for not going to the gym has been that I have to go home and change into work-out clothes, which is just another trip off and on-campus. And by the time I’m home, it’s tempting to just stay home and relax for a while. By wearing your work-out clothes to class, you have no excuse to ignore the gym.

Set up a reward system. If you’ve been wanting that new handbag or those adorable shoes for months, but can’t think of a good reason to buy them, this is an easy way to burn a few calories and reward yourself. You are more likely to go to the gym if you have an end-goal in mind. Maybe going to the gym three times a week for a month will give earn you your reward, and after you reach your goal, buying that new handbag seems a lot more satisfying because you feel like you earned it. Find a gym buddy. It’s a lot easier to make it to the gym when you have someone else by your side, pushing you to go. This may be the best motivation that there is, because you’re more likely to show up to the gym if your friend is counting on you. I have a friend training for a marathon who goes to the gym every day and when she asks if I want to go, it’s kind of hard to say no. You never know, maybe having you as a gym buddy is motivation for them as well! Change up your workout and try something new. When you go to the gym every day and do the same workout, it’s easy to become bored and want to quit. An easy way to switch up your workout routine is by taking classes. Maybe you don’t like the cycle classes, or the Zumba classes just aren’t your thing, but that doesn’t mean that classes in general aren’t for you. Chances are, there is at least one class offered that you’ll enjoy, allowing you to revamp your routine and escape boredom. The last month of school is always a drag. We try to push ourselves to just make it through those last few weeks and rock our finals before we get three months off from school to lounge in the sun with friends and family. Whether rewards, friends, or classes are your motivation to get moving, find out what pushes you, and stick to it!


Humor lol

www.theodysseyonline.com

7

FORMAL EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY Formal season is finally upon us; girls are frantically trying to find dates and dresses, while the guys are deciding which flavor of cheap vodka to buy for the weekend. Fraternity formal is a weekend where Greeks can escape the monotony of class and homework, and head up to the mountains for a weekend of drinking and debauchery. We envision a fun weekend surrounded by beautiful snow-peaked mountains while we lounge in the hot tub, sipping champagne. There’s dinner, dancing, and maybe even some alone time with the cute frat guy who invited you to his formal. But reality doesn’t always live up to our expectations…

The Date. Expectations: Guys look for many things in a fraternity formal date; she has to be outgoing, fun, classy, independent, able to hold her alcohol, and good-looking (to make their brothers jealous, of course). Once the perfect date is found, the weekend is all set. The conversation goes well on the car ride up to the mountains and she seems like a fun girl who’s down to have a good time. She gets along with your brothers, keeps up with you while you’re drinking, and she’s one of those happy drunks, laughing at all of your jokes. Girls on the other hand want a gentleman, someone who is caring and respectful and ready to treat them to a fun weekend. He comes prepared with her favorite alcohol (something fruity and bubbly) and even brings her flowers. He doesn’t try to peek at you while you change into your swimsuit, and he stays by your side the entire night as you two share drinks and laughs. At the end of the night, you guys snuggle up together in that big cozy bed, thinking what a perfect day it’s been. Reality: So, you waited until the last minute and your perfect date is already cozied up with one of your brothers. She talks on the phone with her best friend for the two-hour drive, and you crank the music up to tune out her annoying laugh. You both head straight for the alcohol once you’ve arrived and drink as much as you physically can. She keeps falling down and embarrassing herself, and she proceeds to get sick in public. Multiple times. The classy fraternity gentleman you so wished and hoped for? He disappeared after his second drink, and is now replaced with a handsy, vulgar, sloppier version of his previous self. He ditches you to hang out with his brothers and even has the nerve to ask for one of your sister ’s numbers. It’s not until you guys are lying in bed that you realize you are not only stuck with this person for the rest of the weekend, but you also completely despise them.

The Robes. Expectations: What frat formal is complete without fluffy robes? Guys and girls immediately head for the closet, put on their identical fluffy, white robes, and walk around the hotel like they own the place. The guys feel like younger versions of Hugh Hefner in their own personal Playboy Mansion, sipping from glasses of the finest scotch available. Beautiful girls surround them, traipsing through the hotel in nothing but bikinis and robes (probably in slow motion). The girls slip on their robes, envisioning a weekend full of pools, hot tubs, spa treatments, and relaxation. Ahhh, isn’t life grand in those big, fluffy robes? Reality: With everyone walking around in identical robes, it’s hard to find your date, and as your vision becomes foggier and foggier, you accidentally end up making out with one of your date’s fraternity brothers. The fine scotch is actually red solo cups full of the cheapest liquor anyone could find at Hazel’s, and those little bikinis make for a lot of wardrobe malfunctions that 50 or so people get to witness. Also, after a memorable weekend (which nobody can actually remember), somebody’s robe is bound to get lost, and you’ll be asked to fork over a small fortune for a robe

that wasn’t really that soft anyway.

The Relaxation and the Looks. Expectations: You get to escape school, teachers, and forget all about your midterm next week. Guys look forward to drinking brewskis with the bro-skis, and maybe even doing a few shot-skis. The girls can’t wait to swim in the pool and show off their tanned physique. The guys put their best foot forward, looking most dapper in their dress pants and collared shirts (bow-tie optional). The girls do their hair and makeup together, looking like they just stepped out of a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Reality: The guys do shot-ski after shot-ski while waiting for the girls to get ready. The alcohol takes over, and they eventually attempt to use the skis to actually ski. One brother ends up with a broken arm, and the shot-ski is totaled. The girls’ “tan” ends up coming off in the pool, and their hair and makeup that they spent hours on is ruined as the guys splash around in the pool. Also, you end up failing all of your midterms the week after formal. Although frat formal isn’t always as perfect as you had hoped, it’s also not quite this bad (I hope). So pick your date wisely, don’t lose your robe, and have the time of your lives. Happy formal-ing everybody!


8 Scene around the country

www.theodysseyonline.com

SPRING BREAK!


www.theodysseyonline.com

CU students enjoy spring break from all parts of the country.

Scene around the country

9


10 Self health & fitness

www.theodysseyonline.com

COMFORT FOODS ARE EVIL NECESSITIES

MELANIE SCHULTZ

Kappa Alpha Theta

Melanie is a freshmen studying journalism and mass communications. You may contact her at schultzmel@ gmail.com.

Comfort eating can feel necessary or be a subconscious action, but we need to learn to control these cravings. In college, there is so much pressure from school, extracurricular activities, and relationships. Usually, people go to food because it is a resource that is always around us. We don’t always eat simply to satisfy hunger. We also turn to food for comfort, stress relief, or as a reward. Unfortunately, emotional eating doesn’t fix emotional problems. Instead, it usually makes you feel worse. Afterward, not only does the original emotional issue remain, but you also feel guilty for overeating. Learning to recognize your emotional eating triggers is the first step to breaking free from food cravings and compulsive overeating, and changing the habits that have sabotaged your diets in the past. Comfort eating is something that is instilled in us from birth. When we were babies we cried and our mothers comforted us with their milk. As we grew older we were given treats when we hurt ourselves. We were also rewarded with sweets or the occasional ice cream when we were on good behavior. We were learning the lesson that food could make us feel

better. And the early lessons in life always stick with us. But unfortunately for many of us, these comfort-eating lessons often come back later in life and cause weight loss havoc! When we feel under pressure or when we get upset or worried, those old comfort-eating buttons get pressed and no food is safe! When we are eating for comfort, food becomes a way of making ourselves feel better. It might just be caused by a stressful day or by something that is worrying us. Or it may to down to something more significant, such as: • Poor relationships • Lack of love • Lack of confidence or security • Low self-esteem The important thing to realize is that comfort eating is not about being greedy and not being able to cope, it is a learned behavior. It is a way of trying to make ourselves feel better with food. We therefore come to associate some foods with comfortable feelings. If you’ve seen the Bridget Jones movies you’ll have seen a wonderful example of modern day comfort eating. When she’s upset, Bridget eats. When she’s angry, she eats. When she’s lonely, she eats. It’s hilarious because there is so much truth in it. So many people identify with it. If you don’t know how to manage your emotions in a way that doesn’t involve food, you won’t be able to control your eating habits for very long. Diets so often fail because they offer logical nutritional advice, as if the only thing keeping you

from eating right is knowledge. But that kind of advice only works if you have conscious control over your eating habits. It doesn’t work when emotions hijack the process, demanding an immediate payoff with food. In order to stop emotional eating, you have to find other ways to fulfill yourself emotionally. It’s not enough to understand the cycle of emotional eating or even to understand your triggers, although that’s a huge first step. You need alternatives to food that you can turn to for emotional fulfillment. Emotional eating tends to be automatic and virtually mindless. Before you even realize what you’re doing, you’ve reached for a tub of good ol’ Ben & Jerry’s and polished off half of it. But if you can take a moment to pause and reflect when you’re hit with a craving, you give yourself the opportunity to make a different decision. All you have to do is put off eating for five minutes, or if five minutes seems unmanageable, start with one minute. Don’t tell yourself you can’t give in to the craving; remember, the forbidden is extremely tempting. Just tell yourself to wait. While you’re waiting, check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What’s going on emotionally? Even if you end up eating, you’ll have a better understanding of why you did it. This can help you set yourself up for a different response next time. Comfort foods can be fun for a girl’s night, or necessary after a bad break-up, but if emotional eating becomes a regular thing, you need to cut that bad habit!


12 Humor lol

www.theodysseyonline.com

THAT FESTIVAL GUY: IS IT YOU? Do you film shows with your iPad, have dreads to

your knees, or arrive early to concerts to find a prime

hooping spot on the lawn? Whether or not you identify with the above, here’s a list of characters you’re bound to find at the vast majority of shows to come.

You may see dancing, laughing, hooping, smoking,

singing, drinking, or filming, but the big picture will

reveal a people united by the common thread of love for music — and any way you slice it, that’s a beautiful thing.

You’ve bought your ticket, parked your car, and you’re

headed towards the admission gate for a weekend (or even just one night) full of music. If you’ve taken a

second to look around, it’s pretty obvious who is headed

in the same direction that you are. Though a diverse group of people constitutes the indie festival-going

crowd, there are a few stereotypes you are guaranteed to find at 90% of the venues you attend. Lana lookalikes and tutu-wearing ravers aside, here’s a mental checklist

to consider at your next show: 1. The Dreads Guy

There will always, without a doubt, be one guy in the

trend won’t last.

3. The High Schoolers Yeah, in high school it was cool when your mom

crowd with a head full of righteous dreads. He’s been

would drop you off at a show that your other friends’

getting close to falling below his waist at this point.

or something like that. These kids come in packs, and

working on his hair for years. If it doesn’t already, it’s

He’s just as dedicated to his locks as he is to his music. He’s wearing a worn t-shirt from the show you’ve

always dreamt of attending and a pair of pants you

aren’t daring enough to don yourself. Whether it’s the

hair or inherent musical knowledge, Dreads Guy gives

off some form of mysterious vibe that is slightly aweinspiring.

2. The iPad Cinematographer There’s always going to be that guy, and he’s probably

moms wouldn’t let them attend. Crowds are dangerous they’re usually all dressed alike because they put a lot of effort into looking older than they are (apparently

matching outfits add a few years). They don’t pay much

attention to the show. They’re really only in attendance for the way it’ll look on their Instagram later that night. #picstitch #concert #so #much #funnnnnn #mybff #trippy #(insertlyricfromartist’smostpopularsong) 4. The Frat Pack Chacos, chubbies, bandanas, costas, and vintage band

stood in your line of vision on at least one occasion. For

tees. These boys stand out from the hippie crowd, but

instead of a screen, one can only hope this technological

said.

the welfare of music lovers who want to see the stage

are clearly up for the music and a good time. Enough


Humor lol

www.theodysseyonline.com

13

THAT FESTIVAL GUY: IS IT YOU?, CONT’D 5. The Druggies Perhaps the easiest to spot in any crowd, it doesn’t

take long to pick out the erratic dancers who are going

to be floating somewhere between Earth and the unknown for the duration of the concert. The good

thing is that they always seem to love meeting new people. Seriously, they love everyone. 6. The Genuine Hippies Yes, they’re adults, but they don’t seem like they have

a place in the “grown up” sector of America. These folks most likely spent a few years following around Led Zeppelin. Maybe they’re bona fide Dead Heads. You

know the type. The real hippies. The ones who set the

stage for generation Y. They haven’t a care in the world because, well, why should they? They made it through

the 70s, 80s, and 90s. One look and you know they’ve

got stories about life experiences that you envy: the times you weren’t even a part of but still feel nostalgic

for.

They know every word, guitar riff, and drum beat

of each song… probably because they have a copy of

7. The Drunks

every single recording ever made: studio, acoustic, ep,

Lofty beer prices don’t turn them away from the

live at any venue the artist has ever played, etc. They’ve

or frozen concoction in hand. Oh, and they probably

America, and have a setlist that they made each time to

this is the cause of crowd surfing gone wrong. Plop.

The passionate music lover stops for nothing.

concession stand. These folks are often seen with a PBR

seen _______ 17 times already in various places across

snuck in a floppy flask. Or two. Generally speaking,

commemorate the event. Too much enthusiasm? Never. Perhaps you found yourself listed above. If not, it’s

8. The Hoopers and The Poi Spinners This crowd never ceases to amaze me. They show

up early enough to stake out a spot on the lawn, lose

the shoes, start to spin, and just. Don’t. Stop. It seems

a next to impossible feat to spin a hula hoop for an entire concert, but I’ve seen it accomplished more often

than not. It’s positively mesmerizing. The second the sun drops below the horizon, the hoopers and the poi spinners light up the night. Literally. 9. The Dedicated

more than likely that you’ve encountered at least a few of these stereotypes in your concert-going experiences. Either way, as you look around the crowd at your next

musical excursion, allow everyone’s differences to fall away for just a moment.

Whether you see dancing, laughing, hooping,

smoking, singing, drinking, or filming, the big picture

will reveal a people united by the common thread of love for music — and any way you slice it, that’s a beautiful thing.

1/2 page?


14 Humor lol @iamdevloper: If you watch the Social Network backwards, it’s about a man gaining more friends and a girlfriend as he spends less time on Facebook. @bazecraze: Are you a cat person or a person person? @KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times. @all_about_today: What I’ve learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh. @BeardSpice: How to kill two birds with one stone: Step 1: throw a stone at a bird. Step 2: go pick up that stone. Step 3: throw it at another bird @AnnDabromowitz: When I’m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called “sandwich artists.” They will be “sub humans.” @iwearaonesie: my signature move is yelling “where in the fridge?!” and “i don’t see it!” until my mom comes and finds the applesauce for me @SandyEggoMonk: My signature move is not caring which one yours is. @titletown__: I dated a woman once. Most confusing twenty minutes of my life. @juliussharpe: At the very highest level of karate, they give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt.

www.theodysseyonline.com

@casual_koala: Animals that lose their tails visit the retail store.

It’s the other 6 personalities that I’m worried about....

@Shock_Monster: Anyone that says there are no stupid questions has never had to explain to a 5 year old why there are no pink bananas 267 times today.

@BookishBunny: Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she’s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I’m good.

@LuvPug: It’s like the people who drive Smart cars don’t even realize that other cars are an option.

@NurseSeymour: Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind.

@primawesome: Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I’m freaking out right now tell me his exact words. @zzoker: Mathematics is the only place you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions you @ x J Ly n n : I t s r e a l c u t e h o w pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality. @bossy_bootz: My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out @Fazio_N: “What aisle has the milk?” “Sir, this is a library.” *whispers* “What aisle has the milk?” @WoodyLuvsCoffee: If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can’t pay its student loans.

@TheMichaelRock: I’m not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I’m just saying that innocent people don’t write songs to defend themselves. @dubstep4dads: i like how at this walmart they put baby food products in the checkout lane. like oops thats right i have a baby to feed @robyn_vo: Watched the movie Gravity tonight. Didn’t see as much gravity as I expected. Two thumbs down based on that. @ C i n e R o b e r t : “ Wa a a a h , m y boyfriend is a jerk, but I’m gonna tell twitter instead of him because I have the communication skills of a sea anemone.” @hipstermermaid: Do you like Taco Bell? Then you’ll LOVE real food!

@Iwriteforcats: We get it, Japan. All of your cats can skateboard.

@sammyrhodes: Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.

@crunchenhancer: She’s got a great personality!

@weismanjake: “This isn’t my first rodeo” -Guy at his second rodeo


19



Colorado 4 10 14 proof2