Biscuit Man By Lara Rix
Warning! This book contains something the author calls fun! Just want to let you know that this book is extremely amazing and you will love it!
nce there was a family of two dogs that lived in a forest that was as wild as a mustang
horse. !In the family there was Franny, the mother dog, and Taffy, the little puppy. ! !One day Taffy came home from her school Wagging Tail Elementary. She set down her backpack that was labeled W.T.E. and walked into the kitchen following a good smell. ! ! "Mom!" she called. There was no answer. Just then Taffy acting as naughty as a crow stealing food, smelled the same great smell she had smelled before coming from the oven. Taffy walked over and opened the oven. Inside there was a juicy, life size Biscuit Man with peanut butter eyes and mouth, with dog food buttons down his front, chicken shoes with feathers as the laces, bacon arms and feather hands. The Biscuit Man looked as juicy as a ripe peach. But before you could say "steak," the Biscuit Man was up and out of the oven.!
! "Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Biscuit Man!" the Biscuit Man hollered.! ! "Oh my," Taffy blushed, "what shall I do?" Taffy hurtled herself out the door and chased the Biscuit Man around and around her front yard.! ! Just then Franny came out of the next door meat market with some hotdogs. She saw the Biscuit Man and Taffy running around the front yard like chickens with their heads cut off. ! When she saw the Biscuit Man she dropped her hot dogs and stared in awe.! ! ! "Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Biscuit Man! I have escaped from your daughter Taffy and I can escape from you, too!" The Biscuit Man shouted from behind him as he took off. !
"Oh goodness!" Franny called. "I can't believe my eyes!" Franny gallivanted after Taffy and chased the Biscuit Man all the way to the other side of the forest.
When the Biscuit Man was feeling quite good about himself, a badger ran in front of him and blocked his path. The badger possibly was as bulky and lumpish as a duffel bag filled with rocks.
"You look very tasty to eat especially now that it is winter time and food is scarce," the badger sneered.
"Run run as fast as you can you can't catch me I'm the Biscuit Man! I have escaped from Franny and little Taffy and I can escape from you, too!" the Biscuit Man said fearlessly.
The badger ran and ran after the Biscuit Man but no matter how fast the badger ran, he never caught the Biscuit Man.
Just then the Biscuit Man and all the animals came to a large band of rocks. The Biscuit Man ran on and on until he ran into a snake.
"What have we here, a scrap of food I could eat in one mouth full."
The Biscuit Man didn't have time for chit chat so he yelled out behind him as he ran on,"Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Biscuit Man! I have out run Taffy, Franny, and the badger, and I can out run you, too!"
"The Biscuit Man must have a mile time of two minutes!" the snake cursed as he cut his scales on a sharp rock. Still, the snake slithered after the Biscuit Man. Indeed, the snake was right the Biscuit Man was as fast as a racecar. (Maybe even faster)!
With Taffy, Franny, the badger and the snake still running behind him he couldn't give up yet. So he ran on and on until he came to the end of the band of rocks. It led to a sunny, lush field.
In the field he soon, came across a small rock den across the prairie by a large cliff. Inside the den a large grizzly bear slept. The bear, smelling the Biscuit Man awoke. The bearâ€™s sense of smell was as good as a bloodhound dog's nose. Then the bear ran out and cornered the Biscuit Man.!
The Biscuit Man played a trick on the bear, jumped on the bear's back and ran down the other side.!
"Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Biscuit Man! I have escaped from Taffy, Franny, the badger, the snake and I can out run you, too!" With that the Biscuit Man whipped around and ran the other way as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him.!
After running for awhile, he felt sort of tired but kept on going. Then later, one of his little chicken shoes
fell off. He stopped to get it when out of a huge cliff, appeared a giant. the cliff was as tall as the Empire State Building! !! The giant shook the ground as he stepped closer to the Biscuit Man. !!! !!"Don't go yet little Biscuit Man! I!can help you!" the giant said as the Biscuit Man started to squirm away. "I really should get going now, that huge herd of animals is trying to eat me!"
"Come inside my cave and I will protect you and fix your shoe," the giant lied.
!"Okay," So the Biscuit Man climbed on to the giant and went into his cave.!
"By the way, my name is Hugo the huge giant, I am guessing your name is the Biscuit Man," Hugo said.
"Yes, it is," the Biscuit Man replied.!
Once they reached the cave, the giant put the Biscuit Man on a wooden plate object. Then the giant took some clear little objects out of a sack and started to sprinkle some on the Biscuit Man.
"Now, this is called salt," the giant explained. "I will sprinkle some on you and you will get more energy
to run away from those animals that are chasing you," Hugo spoke again. Deep down inside as you can tell, the giant was lying. He was planning to eat the Biscuit Man and the animals that were chasing him.
His plan dear reader, was of half of what he expected. Yes if you were wondering, he ate the Biscuit Man and the badger, but later, Hugo had a huge stomach ache because the bacon on the Biscuit Man was undercooked and had it for long time and learned never to eat again little Biscuit Men that run away from herds of animals. "
As for the other animals, when they found out that Hugo had eaten the Biscuit Man, they ran home before the giant could eat them. They lived happily ever after.
Moral! Don't assume that you will always escape danger and are going to be safe. As you can see, the Biscuit Man was eaten when he assumed that he would escape and live happily for the rest of his Biscuit life.
! ! !