Jackie And The Beanstalk By Annika Starring Jackie Fuller!
nce upon a time a teacher named Jackie (me), and a principal named Vicki, were sitting in
the teachers lounge of Catlin Gabel Lower School. Vicki was talking to me about how she thinks that our goat, Milky Black, is not giving any milk. “I want you to go into downtown Portland and trade Milky Black for something useful,” Vicki explained. I got off of the comfy chair I was sitting in, and went down to fetch Milky Black from the track.
Soon I was off, on my way to downtown Portland. While I was walking, a man approached me. “I’ll trade you a handful of magic beans for that goat of yours,” he begged. I agreed, and handed over Milky Black. How happy Vicki will be when she sees what I have brought her, I thought. When I got back, Vicki was not pleased one bit. She was as furious as a squirrel who's nuts were stolen. “You traded Milky Black for magic beans?” Vicki yelled. She threw them out the window, and sent me home.
The next morning, I rode the Tri Met bus to Catlin, and was in the teachers’ lounge checking homework, when something caught my eye. Out of the window I saw a giant beanstalk! I quickly set down my coffee, and ran outside. To my amazement, I couldn’t see where the beanstalk ended; it was as tall as a skyscraper! I decided to ascend the beanstalk. The climb was hard; I was sweating like crazy. The spiky leaves kept poking me. Before long, I was actually close to the top! After a few more grabs, and some sharp pokes, I reached the top. To my surprise, there was a giant palace before me! On one of the walls, there was a sign that said "Dant House." climbed the stairs, and saw a giant woman just outside the palace doors. I was as hungry as a lion, so I quickly asked her for some food. “ Excuse me, do you mind if I come in and have some food?”
he names Mrs. McDonnell, Peggy
McDonnell,” boomed the lady. “And no, you may not come in, or my son will eat you,” she exclaimed. After much begging, and some yelling, the lady agreed, and brought me inside. Everything was giant! There were tons of oversized textbooks, cell phones, laptops, and lots of school supplies. She cooked up some chicken noodle soup, lemonade, and chocolate chip cookies. "Hey, this tastes a lot like the food at the school where I work ," I commented. Suddenly a big voice boomed over the room. "FEE, FI, FO, FUM! I SMELL THE COFFEE BREATH OF A TEACHER! BE SHE ALIVE, OR BE SHE DEAD, I'LL GRIND HER BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!" The voice yelled. "Quick, hide in this oversized laptop case," the lady warned. I jumped in and saw through a hole on the side of the case who was yelling. It was the ugliest thing that I had ever seen. It was a giant upper schooler! He had acne all over is face, and he was wearing his shorts down low. "No, no, honey. You are probably just smelling the leftovers from the teacher I cooked for you yesterday," his mother assured him. "Here, let me cook you something." The giant upper schooler ate like a fat kid eats cake.
When he was done eating, he boomed, "MOM! BRING ME MY LAPTOP!" Mrs. McDonnell brought him his laptop and left the room. Just as the giant upper schooler opened a Word document and started to type, he yawned. His head started to bob, and before you know it, he started snoring. I quickly made my move: I unzipped the case, and hopped out. I ran towards him, climbed up his pant leg, and grabbed the laptop. Then, I quickly climbed down the giant's leg, ran out the door, scurried down the beanstalk, and safely walked into the teachers lounge carrying the giant laptop. I showed Vicki what I had brought her.
hank you!" she cried, "It's so big!" Since it was late, I quickly went home, and fell right
The next morning I rode my bike to school. The beanstalk was still there! I thought that maybe the giant would have more things I could use, so I decided to climb the beanstalk again. You may wonder why I was not teaching on this day. Well lets just say I was "sick." When I finally got to the top, I changed into my Catlin Gabel sweatshirt, and put up my hood, so Peggy wouldn't recognize me. "Excuse me, may I please come in for some food?" I questioned. "No! The teacher that I fed yesterday stole my son's laptop," she yelled. After much begging, and some more yelling, the lady agreed. She gave me a garlic bagel, 2% milk, and a cookies n' cream popsicle. This food is "super duper," I thought to myself. "Hey, the food here tastes a lot like the food at the school where I teach," I commented.
uddenly, a voice boomed over the room, "FEE, FI, FO, FUM! I SMELL THE COFFEE
BREATH OF A TEACHER! BE SHE ALIVE, OR BE SHE DEAD, I'LL GRIND HER BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!" The voice yelled. "Quick! Hide in this over sized cell phone case," the lady warned. Through the screen hole, I saw the giant upper schooler. "No, No, honey. You are probably just smelling the teacher that I cooked for you two days ago," the lady assured the giant. "Let me cook you something dear." Again, the giant upper schooler ate the feast like a pig! When the giant was done he yelled, "MOM! BRING ME MY iPOD!" Peggy quickly brought him his iPod. Just as the giant upper schooler put in his head phones, he yawned. His head started to bob, and before you know it, he started snoring. I quickly made my move: I undid the velcro on the cell phone case, and hopped out. Then, I climbed up the giant's leg, snatched the huge iPod, climbed back down the giant's leg, ran out the door, down the beanstalk, and safely back into the fir grove. I walked casually up to Vicki, and showed her what I brought for her. "Wow! I've always wanted an iPod! Now I get a giant one!!!!!" Vicki whooped. I caught a ride home with Julie, and when I entered my house, I made some cookies, and went to bed.
he next morning, when I arrived at school, yet again the beanstalk was there! I grabbed a
cup of coffee, drank it in five seconds, and ran outside to climb the beanstalk again. By now, I was very skilled at climbing. In no time, I was at the top, and was changing into my Catlin Gabel T-shirt. I climbed the front stairs, and saw the familiar woman. "Excuse me, can I come in and have some food?" I asked. "No! The last teacher that I let in my house stole my son's things. And besides, my son would eat you," she explained. After much begging, and some yelling, the lady agreed. She prepared cereal, frozen raspberries, and hot chocolate for me. The food was the opposite of "weak sauce." In fact, it was incredibly good! Suddenly, a giant voice boomed over the crowd. It actually wasn't that surprising. “FEE, FI, FO, FUM! I SMELL THE COFFEE BREATH OF A TEACHER! BE SHE ALIVE OR BE SHE DEAD, I'LL GRIND HER BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!" the voice yelled. "Quick, hide in this giant pencil case," the lady warned. I quickly hopped in, and saw the giant upper schooler stomping into the room. "No, no, honey. You are probably just smelling the teacher that I cooked for you a few days ago," the lady assured him. Before you know it, Peggy was cooking up a storm. Again the giant ate as much as a whole village could eat. When the giant upper schooler was done eating, he yelled, "MOM! BRING ME MY CELL PHONE!" Peggy quickly brought him his cell phone, and left the room. Just as the giant started to text, he yawned. His head started to bob, and before you know it, he started snoring. I quickly made my move: I climbed up the giant's leg, grabbed the cell phone, climbed down the leg, and slowly walked to the door. Suddenly, and sadly, the phone started to ring. Oh no, I thought to myself. "HEY! YOU'RE STEALING ME CELL PHONE!" the giant screamed. Then, my legs sped up, and I raced down the beanstalk as fast as I could.
hen I got to the bottom, I yelled,
"Vicki! Bring me my ruler!" Once I had my ruler, I chopped down the beanstalk. Out of the sky tumbled Peggy, the giant upper schooler, and tons of giant school supplies. "Here Vicki, I brought you a cell phone!" I said with joy. "Thanks Jackie! I guess those magic beans were good after all," she replied. From then on, Jackie and Vicki lived happily ever after. Legend has it though, that the ghosts of Peggy and the giant upper schooler still lurk around the Dant House.
Published on Feb 23, 2010