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Clark & Addison Episode X - “PROFFER WITHDRAWN“ A REUNION OF 20 SOMETHING CUB FANS ON THE CORNER OF CLARK AND ADDISON IN CHICAGO - IN A SMALL BAR NAMED WEAGHMAN’S PARK. THE CUBS ORIGINALLY PLAYED AT WEAGHMAN PARK IN CHICAGO BEFORE TRANSFERRING TO CUBS PARK IN 1919 - WHICH BECAME WRIGLEY FIELD IN 1926. NIGHTLY IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF CUBS AND CHICAGO OCCUR AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. WEAGHMAN’S PARK ONLY SERVES FOOD AND DRINK ORIGINATING FROM ABOVE THE WISCONSIN BORDER . . . SMALL NEIGHBORHOOD WRIGLEY FIELD BAR CALLED WEAGMAN’S PARK WITH ONLY WISCONSIN BEER AND SHEBOYGAN BRATS - A 20 SOMETHING HANGOUT. FOLLOW THE HISTORY OF THE CUBS, BEARS AND BULLS AS SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF JOSH, ELLIOT, SAM, KERI, MELANIE AND FRIENDS . . . JOSH HEY WILL - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN - WE HAVEN’T SEEN YOU AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK LATELY ? WHAT’S GOING ON ? WILL OH, I FEEL I’M GOING THROUGH MALE DEPRESSION. JOSH GUYS DON’T GO THROUGH THAT - THEY MAY GET DOWN A BIT - BUT REAL CLINICAL DEPRESSION ? WILL WELL ASK SAM - HE’LL TELL YOU - I TALKED TO HIM AND HE FEELS I HAVE AN ENDOGENOUS DEPRESSION. JOSH COME ON WILL - ANYONE WHO CAN CATCH THOSE BOMBS FROM SAM CANNOT BE DEPRESSED. I’M NOT AND I NEVER CAUGHT ONE OF THEM. WILL YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND JOSH MEDICALLY - I MEAN SAM IS A GREAT DOCTOR - NOT ONLY CAN HE PROVIDE ANESTHESIA TO SICK FOLKS - BUT HE CAN FLAT OUT DO OTHER MEDICAL STUFF. JOSH WAIT A SECOND - YOU’RE JUST BUMMED OUT ABOUT MEGAN - I MEAN SHE GOT REALLY FORLORN AND REMINISCED WHEN SHE HEARD ABOUT THE NORTHERN TRAGEDY - TRIED TO LINK UP WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHE KNEW AND BOOM WHEN SHE WOKE UP - WELL SHE MAY NOT HAVE WANTED A RELATIONSHIP. WILL EXACTLY !

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JOSH WELL IF IT’S MEANT TO BE IT WILL BE - THERE’S NO SENSE IN PUSHING IT. WILL WELL I REALLY LOVED THAT GAL - BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS THIS THING - SHE WAS FROM THE GOLD COAST AND WELL I WAS FROM SCUDDY WIRGLEYVILLE. I WOULD BE MARRYING UP. JOSH THAT’S NOT A GOOD SITUATION TO BE IN. I MIGHT LET THIS ONE GO. WILL YOU’RE RIGHT - UNTIL SHE STEPS IN HERE - SHE’S BEEN AT BERNIE’S BUT THAT’S ABOUT AS FAR AS IT GOES - MEGAN WOULD NEVER STEP FOOT IN A PLACE LIKE THIS - TOO MANY BUMBLING BORDER FOLKS. JOSH IT MAY MAKE SENSE JUST TO STAY AWAY FROM HER AND BERNIE’S. WILL WHY BERNIES ? JOSH BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO WALK INTO BERNIE’S AND HAVE SOMEONE HITTING ON HER DUMBO ! WILL OH I GET IT - BUT MEGAN WOULD NEVER HANG AT BERNIE’S. SHE JUST ISN’T THE TYPE. JOSH I’M SORRY WILL - THE NUNS WOULD KILL ME FOR BEING SO SARCASTIC. BUT MEGAN HAS THE SAME THING THAT KERI HAS - A BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - THEY MAY NOT WANT TO ADMIT IT - BUT IT IS TRUE - AND THOUGH SHE IS A 20 SOMETHING SHE HAS A BIOLOGICAL URGE - IT’S LIKE A SALMON SWIMMING UP STREAM. WILL YOU’RE FLAT OUT CRAZY JOSH - I DON’T SEE MEGAN HANGIN AT BERNIE’S LIKE A SALMON SWIMMING UP STREAM. JOSH OK - MAYBE I’M OVERDOING IT A BIT - BUT YOU WAIT - GIRLS DO FUNNY THINGS. LOOK AT KERI - SHE DRAMATICALLY CHANGED WHEN SHE SAW SAM WILL YES - KERI ACTED LIKE THE SALMON WHEN SHE SAW SAM.

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JOSH SEE - IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE AT ANYTIME - AND IT WILL HAPPEN TO GALS QUICKER THAN US. I WOULD RIDE THIS ONE OUT WILL INSTEAD OF PAXIL OR ANY OTHER SSRI DRUG. WILL YES - YOU’RE RIGHT. I’VE TOTALLY GIVEN UP ON THE BULLS - WE ARE GRINDING DOWN AND THEY HAVE TO HAVE A RECORD FOR MOST LEADS BLOWN AT THE END OF THE GAME. THEY CANNOT FINISH. MAYBE THIS IS WHAT IS CAUSING MY DEPRESSION. JOSH OH MY GOD - IT’S TEAM AFTER TEAM - NIGHT AFTER NIGHT - SAME SONG. WILL WE AREN’T MAKING THE PLAYOFFS - A TON OF WEIRD SCENARIOS MUST OCCUR WITH ATLANTA - I DON’T SEE IT. JOSH WHO KNOWS WHAT WE’LL GET IN THE NBA DRAFT - THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS COMING OUT FOR THE DRAFT - FROM JUNIOR HIGH TO HIGH SCHOOL TO EARLY COLLEGE - PRETTY SOON THEY’LL BE CHECKING THE DNA AT SPERM BANKS FOR PLAYERS. WILL WELL THE BULLS NEED SOMETHING - BOYLAN WILL BE GONE - I DON’T KNOW WHO THEY’LL SIGN BACK - WE ARE ON PAR NOW WITH THE BUCKS - MAYBE WE SHOULD BE IN THE NBA DEVELOPMENT LEAGUE. I DON’T KNOW - WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING. JOSH TOTAL DISARRAY - IMPLODING AT THE END OF THE GAMES IS NOW ALMOST EXPECTED - DUMB FOULS, EASY SHOTS MISSED, LACK OF DEFENSE WHEN IT COUNTS, TURNOVERS - IT GOES ON AND ON - NEVER ENDS. WILL AND THE BLACKHAWKS ARE NO BETTER - DON’T GET ME GOING ON THEM. OH MY GOSH - HERE COMES MELANIE ! JOSH HEY MELANIE - WHAT BRINGS YOU TO WEAGHMAN’S PARK ? WILL ? WILL COME ON JOSH - YOU KNOW MELANIE IS AFTER SOMEONE CULTURED AND PROFESSIONAL LIKE YOU. MELANIE WELL GUYS I NEED A RUSSIAN STOUT LEINIES LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN WEAGHMAN’S PARK.

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WILL OH MY GOD - GALS NEVER DRINK THAT STUFF - THEY USUALLY WANT THE LIGHT FLAVORED LEINES - OR THE ORIGINAL. JOSH NO - MELANIE FLAT OUT WANTS A STIFF LEINIES - SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED AT COOK COUNTY. SO LET US IN TO YOUR WORLD MELANIE. MELANIE NO - YOU GUYS DON’T WANT TO HEAR GRUESOME STUFF FROM A HOSPITAL OPERATING ROOM - THE OR. WILL THE HECK WE DON’T MELANIE - WE CAN HANDLE IT - LAY IT ON US. JOSH YES - MELANIE - WE CAN TAKE IT. MELANIE WELL - WE HAD THIS TRAUMA FROM THE STEVENSON EXPRESSWAY COME IN AND......OH GUYS IT IS SO GROSS I CANNOT SAY IT WHILE PEOPLE ARE EATING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME. JOSH MELANIE WE ARE GUYS - WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING...GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST! MELANIE OK WELL THERE WAS THE USUAL FRACTURED BONES AND THE LIKE... THERE WERE TWO PATIENTS THAT REALLY WERE DISTURBING...ONE WAS A YOUNG GUY WHO LITERALLY HAD HIS HEAD TORN OFF... WILL AND HE’S STILL ALIVE ? MELANIE YES - THEY CALLED IN THE TRAUMA RECONSTRUCTIVE TEAM AFTER HE UNDERWENT A LOW TRACHEOTOMY.. JOSH AND THEY RECONSTRUCTED HIS HEAD ? MELANIE YES - THEY PUT IT BACK ON - IT TOOK ALMOST 24 HOURS - BUT THEY SEWED VIRTUALLY EVERY NERVE, VESSEL, AND MUSCLE TISSUE BACK IN PLACE AND HE KINDA LOOKED GOOD AFTER THEY WERE DONE. WILL WHOA - WHAT ABOUT THE SECOND GUY ?

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MELANIE WELL HE WAS THE REALLY GROSS ONE - ENOUGH TO RETIRE ME FROM TRAUMA SURGICAL NURSING. JOSH LET IT OUT - I’LL JUST ASK SAM IF YOU DON’T TELL ME - I’M CERTAIN HE WAS AROUND. MELANIE MATTER OF FACT HE WASN’T AROUND - HE HAD A DATE WITH KERI ACCORDING TO THE OTHER RESIDENT ANESTHESIOLOGISTS. JOSH WELL - TELL US HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON AT COOK! IT’S DULL AROUND HERE UNTIL THE CUBS REALLY GET GOING ! MELANIE WELL THIS GUY FROM THE SAME ACCIDENT APPARENTLY HAD BEEN ILL FOR QUITE SOME TIME AND HE INCURRED BELLY AND CHEST TRAUMA MAINLY. HE CAME TO THE OR FOR SEPSIS AND WAS OBVIOUSLY DYING WITH A FEVER OF 107 DEGREES. THEY IMMEDIATELY OPENED HIM UP AND HE HAD MASSIVE BUBBLING GANGRENE. HORRIBLE SMELL - THE WORST IN MY LIFE ! WILL AND YOU HAD TO STAY IN THE ROOM RIGHT ? MELANIE WELL THEY THEN SPRAY THIS MENTHOL STUFF IN YOUR MASK WHICH BARELY OVERPOWERS THE VICIOUS ANAEROBIC SMELL. WILL I HAVE ADHD MELANIE. WHAT IS ANAEROBIC ? SOUNDS AQUATIC ? JOSH IT’S BACTERIA THAT DOESN’T REQUIRE OXYGEN. I REMEMBER THAT FROM A FAMOUS LITIGATION CASE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO LAW SCHOOL. VIRTUALLY CERTAIN DEATH ! MELANIE WELL THIS CASE WAS SO DISASTROUS THEY ACTUALLY POURED MAGGOTS INTO THE WOUND AND LEFT THE BELLY PARTIALLY OPEN. WILL OH - I GET IT - THE MAGGOTS LITERALLY EAT THE ANAEROBIC BACTERIA OR GANGRENE FOR LUNCH ? RIGHT ? MELANIE PERFECT - AND YOU KNOW THE GUY IS SURVIVING.

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WILL I WONDER WHERE THEY GOT THE MAGGOTS ? JOSH WELL - THAT IS EASY - WHITE SOX PARK - I’M CERTAIN THEY ARE ALL OVER DOWN THERE. WILL WELL I’M STILL CONCERNED ABOUT THE SOX THIS YEAR - WRECKING OUR SEASON - IT ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN YOU HEAR NOTHING ABOUT THE SOX - WHICH IS THE CASE THIS YEAR. VERY QUIET DOWN THERE. JOSH WELL THE CUBS ALWAYS GET A TON MORE PRESS THAN THE SOX BECAUSE IT’S THE CUBS, THE 100 YEARS WITHOUT A WORLD SERIES, BARTMAN, AND NOW LOU. MELANIE WELL THE CUBBIES ARE OFF TO A REAL SLOW START THIS YEAR - LOSING 2 OF 3 TO THE BREWERS - BUT EVERYONE IS FEELING IT - THAT THEY ARE AT LEAST A WILD CARD = THE BREWERS AND ST. LOUIS WILL BE FIGHTING THEM TO THE END. JOSH THE RICKIE WEEKS HOMER IN THE FIRST SERIES REALLY GOT TO ME - I KNOW IT’S A LONG SEASON BUT..... MELANIE YOU’RE RIGHT - THE CUBS NEED TO START OUT ON THE RIGHT FOOT AND NOT DIG A HOLE LIKE LAST YEAR - WE WERE FORTUNATE TO GET BACK INTO THE PLAYOFFS - ONLY MILWAUKEE FOLDING AT THE END SAVED US. WILL MAN - DID YOU SEE YOSH KWANO THE CUB EQUIPMENT MANAGER OF 65 YEARS RETIRED - THAT’S HUGE. HE WAS IN THE 1945 SERIES WITH THE CUBS. MELANIE WELL I FEEL REED JOHNSON WILL HELP IN THE OUTFIELD, SOOT WILL PROBABLY END UP CATCHING, AND FUKUDOME CAN FLAT OUT HIT. WILL THEY ARE ALREADY PUTTING ALFONSO BACK AT LEADOFF - BECAUSE THE CUBS RECORD WITH HIM LEADING OFF IS 2 TO 1 REGARDING WINS. JOSH I FEEL FELIX PIE WILL BE THE BEST CUB ADDITION - VERY ATHLETIC AND WILL WORK WELL IN CHICAGO I HOPE FOR A LONG TIME. WILL SAY MELANIE - WHAT THE HECK IS STANOZAL - THE STEROID THAT HERNANDEZ TOOK - IS IT A BIGGIE ? 7


MELANIE IF YOU FEEL THAT SITTING FOR 50 GAMES SO HE CAN TAKE AN ANABOLIC STEROID AND FIRM UP HIS MUSCLES, INCREASE HIS TESTOSTERONE, RED BLOOD CELL MASS, AND RID HIS FAT - IT ISN’T WORTH IT - TOO MANY SIDE EFFECTS LONG TERM. WILL LIKE WHAT ? AND THAT GAL BACK THERE WANTS A BERRY WEISS - YOU KNOW THE GIRL STUFF JOSH. MELANIE AND GIVE HER A ZUERCHER’S COLBY ALSO - SHE REALLY LOOKS HUNGRY. WILL SO BEFORE I GET BACK TO STANAZOL - DO THEY EAT ZUERCHER’S AT COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL MELANIE ? MELANIE TONS WILL - THEY CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT - YOU REALLY CANNOT GET WISCONSIN STYLE CHEESE ANYWHERE IN CHICAGO EXCEPT ZUERCHER’S OR WEAGHMAN’S PARK. JOSH BACK TO THE STANAZOL MELANIE - WHAT DOES THAT STUFF DO ? MELANIE WELL IT YOU TAKE SOME GOOD DOSES - YOU FIRM UP AND DEFINE YOUR MUSCLES, LOSE FAT, OPPOSE ESTROGEN, AND HAVE MORE TESTOSTERONE PRODUCED. WILL YOU MEAN YOU’RE MORE OF A GUY ? MELANIE I GUESS SO - IF YOU WANT THE SIDE EFFECTS - LIKE DEEPER VOICE, MORE HAIR, BONE, TENDON, AND LIGAMENT DEATH, CATARACTS, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, PERSONALITY CHANGES LIKE DEPRESSION - THE LIST GOES ON - THESE STEROID DRUGS KILL YOU. WILL SO WHY THE HECK DID HERNANDEZ TAKE STEROIDS - HE WAS ALREADY PLAYING WELL. MELANIE WELL THERE IS THIS THING CALLED THE MALE EGO AND ONCE YOU ARE A GUY YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF IN EVERY WAY -SOME GUYS FEEL VERY INFERIOR UNLESS THEY ARE ON THE VERY TOP OF THE LADDER. I KNOW SINCE I DATED ONE AT ONE TIME. IT’S RIDICULOUS.

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JOSH WELL HERNANDEZ WILL BE BACK BY THE ALL STAR BREAK. AND WE ARE REALLY SET WITH LEE, RAMIREZ, THERIOT, FUKUDOME, DEROSA, SOOT, JOHNSON, SORIANO, CEDENO, AND PIE. MELANIE AND OUR PITCHERS WITH Z AND LILLY - WE’LL BE OK. WILL WE JUST CANNOT FALL BEHIND THE BREWERS 10 GAMES RIGHT OFF THE BAT AND EXPECT TO CATCH THEM THIS YEAR. ST. LOUIS AND THE BREWERS WILL BE BETTER THIS YEAR. I KNOW THAT. JOSH WELL IT’S GOOD TO SEE THE CUBS ARE ALREADY PUTTING $150,000 BACK INTO WIRGLEYVILLE AS A CHARITY RIGHT UP FRONT THIS SEASON. I KNOW TICKETS, SHIRTS, HOT DOGS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS GOING UP - BUT THE CUBS ARE RIGHT THERE PUTTING MONEY RIGHT BACK INTO THE COMMUNITY. WILL AND THE NEW FIELD RESURFACING AND NEW SEATS SHOULD HELP. JOSH NO WAY WILL - THE FIELD WILL BE THE SAMe FOR BOTH TEAMS - ALL THEY DID WAS REALIGN THE DRAINAGE SO THEY COULD GET OUT OF GAMES QUICKER. IT WILL STILL BE WRIGLEY FIELD ALL THE WAY. MELANIE I MAY ACTUALLY GO TO THE PEORIA CHIEFS GAME AT WRIGLEY - THE VERY FIRST MINOR LEAGUE GAME AT WRIGLEY - I’M CERTAIN THEY ARE GROOMING PEORIA’S COACH RYNO TO BECOME THE NEXT CUBS COACH. JOSH THEY WON’T GIVE IT TO HIM - RYNO MUST WIN IN PEORIA. WILL I’M CERTAIN HE’LL DO WELL. AND THIS GAL WANTS ANOTHER HONEY WEISS WITH SOME SALAMI FROM CHIPPEWA FALLS ALSO. I’D JUST GIVE HER ZUERCHER’S - THEY HAVE EVERYTHING. MELANIE MY GOD IF I KEEP EATING HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S I’LL BE 200 POUNDS. WILL IF THAT HAPPENS MELANIE YOU will have FLAT OUT TAKEN YOURSELF OUT OF THE MARKET. JOSH I DO KNOW THEY ARE LIGHTER AT BERNIES. THEY DON’T EAT AND DRINK AS MUCH AS WEAGHMAN’S PARK.

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MELANIE WELL I’VE BEEN TO BERNIE’S AND THEY ALL JUST TRY TO HIT ON EACH OTHER THERE - IT’S SO OBVIOUS. I FEEL A TON MORE COMFORTABLE HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. WILL I KNOW KERI FORMERLY HUNG AT BERNIE’S but SHE DIDN’T LIKE IT BUT THERE ARE A TON OF GUYS THERE. MELANIE WELL THERE ARE A TON OF GIRLS THERE ALSO. I NOTICED THAT ! JOSH ANYWAY WE ARE PLANNING ON CONFRONTING MR. W. THIS YEAR. WILL HAS HE BEEN IN YET THIS YEAR ? JOSH I SAW HIM OPENING DAY - AND HE LOOKED REAL STRANGE - LIKE WE WERE FIGURING HIM OUT. MELANIE THIS IS THE GHOST OF OLD MAN WRIGLEY - THE CHEWING GUM DYNASTY BIG SHOT. JOSH EXACTLY - HE’LL BE BACK AND I MAY BE ABLE TO CONFRONT HIM - I KNOW HE’S HERE BECAUSE WEAGHMAN’S PARK IS WHAT WRIGLEY FIELD WAS BEFORE IT WAS SOLD TO THE WRIGLEYS. HEY - HERE COMES ELLIOTT ! ELLIOTT HEY GUYS - WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON ? JOSH I DON’T GET IT - THE CUBS ARE OFF TO A ROUGH START WITH THE BREWERS - BUT THAT IS ALL - NOTHING HAS CHANGED. WILL WE JUST HAVEN’T SEEN YOU AROUND HERE MUCH ELLIOTT - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ? ELLIOTT WELL - I AGAIN TRIED OUT FOR ANOTHER BIGGIE THEATER PRODUCTION DOWNTOWN AND JUST MISSED - I WAS TABBED THE UNDERSTUDY. MELANIE YOU MEAN SECOND STRING ? ELLIOTT EXACTLY - I TURNED THEM DOWN - MINIMAL PAY FOR A TON OF WORK. 10


JOSH ARE YOU SURE ABOUT YOUR DECISION ELLIOTT - I MEAN......... ELLIOTT I DO KNOW WHAT I’M DOING JOSH - I TRIED OUT FOR ONE OF THE BROTHERS AT THE PROFILES ON BROADWAY - AND WELL.... WILL WHAT WAS THE PLAY ELLIOTT ? ELLIOTT IN A DARK HOUSE. MELANIE THAT IS REAL HOT ELLIOTT - I’M CERTAIN THE COMPETITION WAS TORRID ! JOSH ELLIOTT CAN HANDLE THAT - BUT ELLIOTT YOU LOOK TROUBLED ? MELANIE YES - EVEN A POOR JUDGE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX like me CAN EXACTLY TELL YOU ARE A TROUBLED GUY. ELLIOTT WELL - AFTER PUTTING IN SO MUCH TIME - WELL I COULD’VE HAD A PART IN A CHICAGO DOWNTOWN PRODUCTION IF I HAD A ROMANTIC LIASON WITH ONE OF THE KEY GUYS. THAT IS HOW SOME CHICAGO THEATER MAY WORK. MAYBE IT WAS JUST CHANCE - I DON’T KNOW AND I WASN’T INTERESTED IN HIM OR PUTTING MYSELF IN A POSITION FOR ANY THEATER JOB BY BEING A BOYFRIEND. WILL WELL ELLIOTT - YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE TENDING THAT WAY - RIGHT ? ELLIOTT I JUST DON’T KNOW - BUT I DO KNOW I WANT NOTHING LIKE BEING PART OF SOMEONE’S LIFE JUST TO ACT. MELANIE SO YOU WERE SNUBBED OR BLACKBALLED - RIGHT ? ELLIOTT 100% CORRECT ! JOSH WELL ELLIOT - YOU CAN NEVER GIVE UP AS MANY FAMOUS PEOPLE BECAME FAMOUS AFTER GETTING THEIR START AFTER MULTIPLE ATTEMPTS.

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ELLIOTT YES - I KNOW AND I’M DOING QUITE WELL WITH MY MIDDLE SCHOOL ORCHESTRA AND OTHER THINGS. BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY FRUSTRATING AS CAN BE - TORTURE. WILL HOW MANY SERIOUSLY TRIED OUT FOR THAT BROTHER POSITION ELLIOTT ? ELLIOTT NEARLY 100 ! MELANIE AND YOU WERE PROBABLY IN THE TOP 5 - MENTION THAT AT YOUR NEXT TRY OUT - IT MAY HELP. ELLIOTT BUT ALL THESE PRODUCTION COMPANIES INDEED TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT FOR THEM - THEY GO ON EXPERIENCE AND FEEL....AND I HAVE VERY LITTLE BIG PLAY EXPERIENCE. JOSH WELL ELLIOTT - YOU MADE THE right DECISION AS A PECUNIARY GAIN FOR SEX IS CALLED PROSTITUTION - AND IN YOUR CASE IT CLEARLY WAS POSSIBLE SINCE IT WASN’T CONSENSUAL. ELLIOTT WELL MAYBE I AM NORMAL OR HETEROSEXUAL - I JUST DON’T KNOW. WILL I WOULDN’T SWEAT IT - BECAUSE ALL I EVER HAVE IS CATCH AND RELEASE TYPE ROMANCES. ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER IS NOT HAPPY AND SOMEONE GETS HURT. MELANIE THAT’S WHY THEY HAVE ALL THE E MATCHING GIMMICKS - NO ONE IS EVER WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE ON THOSE THINGS. IT STILL IS A SIGN OF DESPERATION I THINK. JOSH BUT MOST OF THE XERS AND NOW GENERATION Y THINK IT’S FAR BETTER THAN HANGIN OUT AT BARS AND THE LIKE. MELANIE I’D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE I START DATING THEM - NOT JUST HAVE THEM SHOW UP. I REMEMBER A BLIND DATE A YEAR AGO I HAD - AND THE GUY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GREAT - AND GUESS WHAT WELL HE SAID ZERO THE ENTIRE NIGHT AND SO I JUST WENT HOME EARLY. WILL YOU CAN FLAT OUT DO THAT ON A BLIND DATE - IT’S ACCEPTABLE.

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JOSH IT’S ALSO ACCEPTABLE TO KILL THE PERSON WHO SET UP THE DATE USUALLY FEELING SORRY FOR SOME SOUL. MELANIE BY THE WAY JOSH - HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA KEEP LIVING THE 20 SOMETHING LIFE ? JOSH I JUST DON’T KNOW - I’M STILL THAWING OUT FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO. I KNOW MY PARENTS AND FAMILY ARE BEGINNING TO SEE THIS AS A PROBLEM - MY INFATUATION WITH THE CUBS - THEY THINK I’LL BE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK WHEN I’M 90 OR SOMETHING. MELANIE NO JOSH I’M SERIOUS - HOW LONG WILL YOU BE HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK ? WILL I THINK SHE’S INTERESTED JOSH - AND WANTS A STRAIGHT ANSWER - IF A GUY GIVES A STRAIGHT ANSWER - WELL HE IS THEN SERIOUS - IF HE BUMBLES AROUND HE ISN’T SERIOUS SO EITHER BUMBLE OR SAY IT STRAIGHT JOSH. MELANIE YES I NEED AN ANSWER JOSH ? JOSH WHY - AM I GONNA BE ASKED TO PROM OR SOMETHING ? ELLIOTT NO - THIS IS THE USUAL SORT OF QUESTIONS GALS GET FROM THEIR PARENTS WHEN THEY GO OUT WITH SOMEONE THE PARENTS DON’T KNOW. MELANIE YOU GOT THAT RIGHT - MY MOTHER IS A FIREWALL YOU CAN’T BELIEVE. JOSH OK - MY GRAND PLAN IS THE NEXT TWO SEASONS UNLESS SOMETHING BIG COMES ALONG. MELANIE I HEARD YOU ALREADY HAD BIG OFFERS SINCE YOU FILED THAT PROTEST AGAINST THE BEARS OFFENSE AND NOW ARE PENDING APPEAL. JOSH WELL A COUPLE FIRMS CONTACTED ME - BUT I JUST GOT OUT OF THE CELL DOWN AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO LAW AND MBA SCHOOLS DONT’ GET ME WRONG - THEY ARE GREAT SCHOOLS AND ALL - BUT YOU GET BRAINWASHED BIG TIME - AGAIN THE SUCCESS OF AN ATTORNEY

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IS SANDBAGGING YOUR WAY INTO TAKING SOMEONE’s SOCKS OFF AND RUNNING AWAY WITHOUT THEM ACTUALLY FEELING IT. MELANIE BUT THAT IS THE REAL WORLD - WE SEE THAT AT COOK COUNTY ALL DAY LONG - TONS OF INEQUITIES IN LIFE - WHY IF SOMEONE DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT AND THINGS STILL DON’T WORK OUT MEDICALLY FOR THEM AND THEY ARE MAIMED OR FLAT OUT DIE DUE TO NOTHING THEY’VE DONE WRONG. JOSH WELL CHICAGO ATTORNEYS TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN CONVINCING THE OPPONENT THEY ARE GETTING A GOOD DEAL - WHEN IN ACTUALITY THEY ARE LOSING THEIR FARM. IF THEY HAVEN’T BLED THE OPPONENT TO DEATH - THEY HAVEN’T WON - AND THAT IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT WHETHER A TORT CASE, PROSECUTION, OR EVEN THE JUDGE. MELANIE SO YOU ARE NOT GONNA PRACTICE LAW JOSH ? JOSH YES - I WILL PRACTICE LAW AND BUSINESS AND I’LL DO IT MY WAY AND MAKE CERTAIN EVERYONE HAS SOCKS - THAT’S ALL. WILL WELL THAT WAS SPIRITED JOSH - AND THE GUY IN THE CORNER WANTS AN ORIGINAL LEINIES RED - HE BETTER SLOW DOWN AND DRINK RESPONSIBLY. AND BY THE WAY MELANIE - IN THE LAST GAME AGAINST GREEN BAY LAST YEAR IN DECEMBER WE WON OVER FAVRE BY A TON - A BIG OFFENSIVE AND DEFENSIVE BLOWOUT - SO THE PRESENT JUDGE IN STATE COURT FEELS THAT THE BEARS CASE IS MUTE. ELLIOTT WE COULD REV IT UP AGAIN IF THE BEARS DON’T AGAIN GET A QB IN THE DRAFT. LOVIE IS STILL THINKING REX AND WELL WE HAVEN’T HAD A QB SINCE MCMAHON. I JUST DON’T GET IT. WILL WE ALSO TRADED AWAY THOMAS JONES AND KEPT CEDRIC - THAT MAY HAVE HURT. ALL I KNOW IS THAT WE JUST NEED CONSISTENT OFFENSE AND THE BEARS HAD BETTER DRAFT OR TRADE FOR SOME GUYS THAT CAN MAKE PLAYS. MELANIE I’M CONFIDENT THEY CAN AND WE CAN REVIVE THE PROTEST IF THE BEARS DRAFT IS HORRIFIC. JUST WATCH FOX OR ESPN AND THEY WILL RATE THE BEARS DRAFT. JOSH THE DRAFT THOUGH IS A REAL CRAP SHOOT - LOOK AT TERRELL DAVIS FROM DENVER - HE WAS PICKED 196 AND MAYBE WAS THE VERY BEST

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RUNNING BACK THE PAST 20 YEARS. HECK BRADY WAS A 6TH ROUNDER ALSO. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WITH THE DRAFT ! NEVER ! WILL BUT THE BEARS HAVE BEEN PRETTY LIMP LATELY WITH DRAFTS - I THINK LUKE’S LINE ALSO NEED’S BOLSTERING - HE ISN’T STEPPING UP AS A COACH CONSISTENTLY LIKE IRON MIKE, HIS UNCLE. HECK MAYBE WE SHOULD BE LOOKING AT SOME NORTHERN ATHLETES ? JOSH I’VE BEEN REALLY FOLLOWING THEIR ATHLETICS - JERRY KILL THE FOOTBALL COACH HAS BEEN THEre 20 YEARS - VERY STABLE AND SUCCESSFUL - WELL LIKED. WILL I STILL GET ALUMNI NEWS - EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T GRADUATE JEFF COMPHER HAS COME in AS AD - HE WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL AT WESTERN CAROLINA AND WASHINGTON. HE HAS AN IMPRESSIVE RECORD. MELANIE AND I HEARD ON THE RADIO THE OTHER DAY NORTHERN OPENS AT MINNESOTA IN FOOTBALL. THIS SHOULD BE A GOOD MATCH. ELLIOTT IS THE GAME IN MINNEAPOLIS MELANIE ? MELANIE YES - AND I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S A HOME AND HOME. JOSH YOU’RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE KERI ! MELANIE DON’T EVEN MENTION HER NAME JOSH ! WILL HEY MELANIE - KERI DIDN’T STEAL SAM FROM YOU IF THAT IS WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ! MELANIE HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW WILL - DID YOU SCOUT US OUT OR WHAT ? ELLIOTT EVERYONE SIMMER DOWN - MELANIE IF SAM WAS CRAZY ABOUT YOU HE WOULD HAVE PROPOSED BY NOW AND HE HASN’T. JOSH WELL - LET’S GET BACK TO NORTHERN - MELANIE’S HEART WAS HURT A BIT AND SHE’S VENTING.

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MELANIE OK JOSH SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WITH FEELINGS HERE - HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THE NORTHERN GAME IN MINNEAPOLIS AUGUST 30TH ? JOSH ME AND YOU ? IS THIS LIKE A DATE MELANIE ? MELANIE CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT ! WILL HECK I’LL GO IF JOSH DOESN’T WANT TO GO MELANIE - I’M VERY AVAILABLE . MELANIE YOU GUYS AT TIMES ARE VERY NICE AND RESPECTFUL - BUT MOST OF THE TIME YOU ARE PATHETIC/DISGUSTING/ AND BEYOND WORDS. ELLIOTT WELL I’M STILL FLAT OUT CONTRIBUTING TO THE MEMORIAL FUND AT NORTHERN EVERY CENT I CAN - AND SO ARE MY STUDENTS. WILL SO AM I - I FLAT OUT SEND EVERY EXTRA DOLLAR I HAVE - AND IT ISN’T MUCH -TO NORTHERN FOR THOSE FAMILIES THAT WERE STRICKEN BY A MADMAN. JOSH AND NOW THERE IS A SHARED BOND BETWEEN VIRGINIA TECH AND NORTHERN SINCE BOTH EXPERIENCED SIMILAR TRAGEDIES THIS PAST YEAR - I SENT MONEY TO BOTH. WE ARE ALL SO FORTUNATE - AND I THINK WE TRULY DO REALIZE IT NOW - HECK ANYONE OF US COULD HAVE BEEN THERE AND BEEN A VICTIM AND OUR FAMILIES WOULD’VE SUFFERED SO VERY MUCH. MELANIE WOW - YOU WEAGHMAN’S PARK GUYS ARE REALLY SENSITIVE, CARING, AND REALLY KNOW WHERE LIFE IS AT. MOST FOLKS WOULD JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY AND NOT CARE - BUT YOU GUYS ARE TRULY SPECIAL. WILL WELL MELANIE - THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT - HELPING OTHERS WHEN IN NEED. IT’S SO IRONIC THAT SO MANY JOKES WERE MADE ABOUT NORTHERN AND NOW EVERYONE HERE IS LIKE THE BIGGEST FAN OF THE UNIVERSITY. ELLIOTT THE DISASTER WAS SO CLOSE TO CHICAGO - KIDS OUR AGE - THAT ALL OF US NOW ARE BACK GOING TO MASS EVERY WEEKEND.

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WILL ARE YOU GOING TO MASS REGULARLY MELANIE ? MELANIE WELL......... WILL IT’S OK - BECAUSE SOMETHING LIKE THE NORTHERN INCIDENT REALLY GOT TO ALL OF US - EVEN KERI. MELANIE DON’T MENTION HER NAME EVER AGAIN. ELLIOTT YOU TWO WILL PROBABLY END UP BEING FRIENDS - YOU NEVER KNOW. MELANIE NOT LIKELY ELLIOTT. BUT AGAIN I MAY START CONTRIBUTING TO THE NORTHERN FUND AND HELP THEM IN ANY WAY I CAN. WE NEED TO GET ALL OF CHICAGO BEHIND THEM. ELLIOTT SO JOSH - YOU NEVER REPLIED BACK TO MELANIE REGARDING THE NORTHERN - GOPHER GAME AUGUST 30TH. JOSH WELL - HOW ABOUT WE WAIT UNTIL THE FIRST GAME IN DEKALB - ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO TRAVEL ALL THE WAY TO THE TWIN CITIES ? MELANIE YOU DON’T GET IT JOSH ? JOSH I GUESS NOT - THE PLAYOFF RUN WILL BE ON - THE CUBS WILL STILL BE HERE - WE COULD ACTUALLY TRAVEL UP NORTH AND MAYBE GO TO CHIPPEWA FALLS - WHERE LEINIES IS BREWED. WILL OR HEAD UP TO GREEN COUNTY AND VISIT THE ZUERCHER CHEESE FACTORY - A TON GOING ON BEYOND THE BORDER. JOSH MELANIE - YOU’D GAIN 10 POUNDS JUST DURING THAT WEEKEND. MELANIE NO - I’M ALSO THINKING MALL OF AMERICA, MISSISSIPPI RIVER, PAUL BUNYAN - YOU NAME IT ! ELLIOTT AND SAFE BRIDGES !

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JOSH WELL I ONLY GET ONE WEEKEND OFF A MONTH NOW AND.......... MELANIE OK - I’M RETRACTING MY OFFER - ISN’T THIS LEGAL ? JOSH WELL YES - AN OFFER IS ABLE TO BE DUMPED ANYTIME BEFORE ACCEPTANCE -BUT ONLY IF I DON’T HAVE RELIANCE OR AN OPTION. MELANIE YOU HAVE NO RELIANCE ON THIS OFFER - AND THERE ARE NO OTHER OPTIONS. THE OFFER IS RETRACTED PERIOD - AND I’M HEADING HOME BY THE L. JOSH DO YOU WANT ME TO WALK YOU TO THE L STATION MELANIE ? MELANIE NO - I’M QUITE OK WALKING MYSELF - AND I’LL JUST GO TO THE GOPHER GAME AGAINST NORTHERN BY MYSELF. I’M OUTTA HERE. WILL YOU BLEW IT JOSH ! ELLIOTT YES - YOU BLEW IT JOSH ! JOSH YES MAYBE SO - BUT DO YOU REALIZE I HAVE CUBS TICKETS THAT WEEKEND - THE BEGINNING OF THE SEPTEMBER RUN. WILL YOU STILL BLEW IT JOSH - AND WELL YOU JUST BLEW IT ! WE’RE OUT OF HERe ELLIOTT !

End - Episode X, Clark & Addison

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Clark & Addison - Episode 11