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Issue 845 21st March - 27th March 2014

Inside this week...

Canaries

Copter

Crash See story on page 3


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Four feared dead after helicopter nightmare FOUR members of the Spanish Air Force are missing, presumed dead, after their helicopter crashed into the sea on Wednesday night.

The Super Puma machine came down between Fuerteventura and Gran Canaria during a training incident. One of the five crew aboard was rescued by the Spanish Naval ship Meteoro, which was sailing nearby and rushed to the scene. The Coastguard and Guardia Civil boats were sent to the scene after receiving a distress signal at around 10pm. Ironically the crew, part of the Air Rescue Service, were carrying out night-time, sea-rescue training exercises. At a press conference yesterday (Thursday),

Spain’s Ministry of Defence said the men were “highly experienced and well-trained”. The missing men are Captain Daniel Pena Valiño, from Vitoria,

Lieutenant Carmen Ortega Cortés (Granada), Lieutenant Sebastian Ruiz Galván (Cádiz), and Sergeant Carlos Caramanzana (Valladolid).

The rescued man has been named as Sergeant Johnander Ojeda, from Gran Canaria. He was being attended to by trauma experts, although said to be in

good health. The MOD confirmed that all the crew had been in Afghanistan and each had over 1,000 flight hours. Defence Minister Pedro Morenes (pictured) said: “This crew was highly experienced and well-trained, and had completed such practices before without any problem. “The aircraft had passed all regulatory inspections and was in perfect condition for flight. And, at this time, the cause of the accident is unknown.” Snr Morenes added: “It’s a sad paradox that those who rescue people at sea can lose their lives in practice manoeuvres.” “The Search and Rescue Service has rescued over 3,000 people, and I must stress that the helicopter had good flight viability.” The Defence Minister will be based at Gando, in Gran Canaria, along with the Army Chief of Staff, for the next few days while they try to determine what happened. What is clear is that the helicopter received its last service check a week ago, on 14th March, and was found to be in perfect flying condition. Morenes told reporters “The helicopter is located deep in the sea, so, while it’s not easy, the work of finding the

four missing men continues.” The minister has spoken to the survivor, Johnander Ojeda, and said he has been “deeply affected by the loss of his fellow colleagues”. A team of psychologists from the Red Cross and the Ministry of Defence is assisting the families of the missing, who will be based in the Army area of Gando. While some details remain sketchy, it is understood that the incident took place in fading light. The Super Puma HD-21, belonging to 802 Squadron of the Air Force Search and Rescue Service, was conducting a routine winch rescue from a Spanish Navy ship, some 31 miles off the Fuerteventura coast. Apparently, during the execution of the manoeuvres, communications were lost between the ship and the helicopter. According to statements by the military, the aircraft “came into contact with the sea for reasons unknown and quickly sunk”. The Naval vessel and a D-4 aircraft from the same Search and Rescue Service, which were part of the training exercise, then started the rescue operation. During the initial search Sergeant Ojeda was quickly found, in good health, but his colleagues were nowhere to be seen. The search was abandoned as night fell and a new hunt began at dawn. Salvage vessels Mizar and Talia were part of the searching boats, as was the Guardia Civil craft, Customs Surveillance vessels, helicopters from SASEMAR, plus other 802 Squadron aircraft. Despite their efforts, they had been unable to locate any of the damaged helicopter’s remains, and there was no sign of the four missing men as we went to press last night.


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Tenerife’s Russian revolution underway CANARY Islands’ President Paulino Rivero was in Moscow this week to support to a promotional campaign at the MITT fair.

The Canaries are one of the top two destinations for Russian tourists, alongside Barcelona, and he officially opened the Canary Islands Tourism stand. Tourism figures for the first two months of the year show an increase of almost 11% over 2013, but the percentage rises should be put into context regarding absolute numbers. The 11% rise amounts to 2,499 more people than last year (15,859 in total). On a national level, 1.6 million Russians visited Spain in 2013, which was 32% up on 2012 and a huge 83% up on 2011. Rivero said the Canaries would continue to commit to “market diversification,” adding that the figures spoke for themselves. He added that the Russian market was noted for its “enormous potential” and “great prospects” for growth. “The archipelago has

strengthened as the exclusive destination for people with high purchasing power,” he stressed. And he recalled that Russian tourists make above-average use of the Islands’ five-star hotels, compared with other overseas visitors. The President also

emphasised the need to make further steps towards improving connectivity between Russia and the Islands, outlining an initiative he called the “Flight Development Fund”, which he hopes the Canarian Government will negotiate with European authorities.

Modernisation of the Islands’ facilities was also mentioned as a high priority, to ensure competitiveness, while also allowing the market to expand. Rivero met representatives of leading Russian travel agencies, including TUI, Natalie Tour, V.A. and N. Tour,

who analysed the growth prospects of the market and addressed issues such as the devaluation of the rouble, while stressing that the commitment to the Russian market was “firm”. Finally, Rivero used his Moscow trip for a meeting with Russia’s Span-

ish Ambassador, and he will also to attend the presentation of the Starmus meeting, to be held in the Canaries this September. Leading scientists and astrophysicists are set to attend, including Nobel laureates Harold Kroto and Robert Wilson.

Santa Cruz booming again SIGNS of the economic recovery are starting to show in Tenerife’s capital, although figures are yet to be confirmed.

Santa Cruz sales for Christmas and New Year are up by around 5% on 2013 - the best in five years. And the Carnaval has been hailed a huge success as well. Gustavo Matos, head of Commerce in the Canary Islands’ Government, made the tentative announcement alongside Santa Cruz Mayor José Manuel Bermúdez.

They were announcing a campaign launch to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the commercial area known as

“Zona Centro” in the city. Bermúdez said: “There are signs that give us hope, such as the best

Christmas campaign and sales for years, and the increasing number of cruise passengers, along with their spend-

ing in the city.” He also outlined plans for the 20th anniversary celebrations, which take place tomorrow (Sat-

urday). These include activities for children, special discounts and even gifts handed out by establishments displaying blue-and-white balloons. José Manuel Ramos, President of the commercial area added: “It’s very exciting for us to offer a day which, we hope, will be great for business, and also for the city.” Activities will run from 11am until 10pm, with many taking place in the central area. And on the streets there will be bouncy castles, children’s workshops and musical performances.


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’Allo ’Allo! The French are here NEW routes from Tenerife to France EasyJet and JetairFly will soon become operational, thanks to a huge promotion campaign.

It ran in major supermarkets, travel agents and at tourism fairs and has raised Tenerife’s profile as a valuable destination. Easyjet will link Tenerife South and Paris Charles de Gaulle twice a week from May. And from December, JetairFly will connect the same airport to ParisOrly, also twice a week. Cabildo President Carlos Alonso, announcing the tourism boost, said the new routes for both companies would add to their existing routes into the Island from Nantes, Bordeaux and BaselMulhouse, on the Swiss border. Promotional activities in 2014 are not be-

ing confined to France because others will be held in Benelux (Belgium and the Netherlands), from where 288,000 tourists arrived last year. The number of Belgium visitors rose sharply last year, but still accounts for just a small percentage of the total. But the Cabildo, and the airlines, are hoping that the promotional campaigns will attract many more this year. So far in 2014, campaigns have been launched in the Mahana Travel Fairs in Lyon and Nantes, as well as the Salon Tourisme in Nantes. French hypermarket giant Carrefour will also be heavily involved in promoting Tenerife, initially in Rouen (Normandy) and later in Paris. This month the Island will be promoted at the Destinations Nature and Salon du Golf fairs in Paris.

Road to Teide open is again

THE La Esperanza (TF-24) road is now fully open after its reconstruction, allowing access to Teide National Park. Severe weather at the end of last year caused multiple landslides and massive damage, which rendered the road impassable in a number of places. Last December, the Insular Corporation granted a 154,000-euro emergency fund to repair the road. It had been battered by torrential rain, high winds and snow, which hit the island for a prolonged period. The road was closed because of safety concerns, and several sections were severely damaged. José Luis Delgado, Minister for Roads and

Insular Landscape, apologised for any inconvenience to residents in the area, and workers who use it daily. But he said the work was “of an u rgent nature” because the road runs through the National Park. And, because it is a protected area, the work had to comply with strict regulations. Despite remaining closed from the 24km marker, the majority of the work was carried out between the 37km and 43km points. While that was going on, the Cabildo ensured that traffic was able to pass intermittently. Thankfully, with the road fully open again, residents will be able to get back to normal. And one of the most picturesque routes up to Teide can be enjoyed again by everyone.

Tenerife is also being exposed as a destination on the French morning programme Télématin, which has so far recorded three reports in Tenerife, focusing on the Island’s character and

its accessibility as a destination “without barriers.” Meanwhile in Benelux, Tenerife was represented at the Salon des Vacances in Brussels (attracting 100,000 people), and in Holland

at the Vakantiebeurs in Utrecht (supported by 30,000 visitors, including the general public and industry professionals). Meanwhile, in the Netherlands, Tenerife is being promoted as

a destination for cyclists. Next month, the Island will receive visits by staff from two of the country’s cycling magazines, which have a total monthly circulation of around 85,000 copies.


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Adeje to honour Ghandi with a ‘symbolic’ statue

ADEJE Mayor José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga and Sunil Lal, the Indian Ambassador to Spain, are planning a spectacular tribute to Mahatma Gandhi. They met last week and were delighted to strengthen ties between the two communities, the Mayor enthusing over the local Indian community, which, he said, was “an integrated part of Adeje”. During the meeting they discussed an “interesting proposal” for the town in the form of a special project, closely linked to the search for peace and understanding between peoples. “Our idea, in the El Madroñal zone in Fañabe, is to dedicate a square and a monument to Gandhi, a symbol of the social struggle,” said Rodríguez Fraga. The monument should be unveiled on 2nd October, the International Day of Non-Violence, which also coincides with the anniversary of the birth of Mahatma Gandhi. He led the independence movement in India and was a global pioneer in the philosophy and strategy behind nonviolent movements and peaceful protests. As a symbol of the unity and fraternity between Adeje and India, the Lions International Club

Tenerife South, together with Tenerife Sur Hindu Association, celebrated the latter’s traditional Holi Mela on Sunday. It is also known as the Festival of Colours and is a cultural and social event, celebrated to coincide with the full moon, which marks the start of Spring. A giant paella was prepared during the celebrations, held on the plaza above Fañabe sports centre, which was awash with colour. The cash raised from selling portions at five euros a

time (along with a soft drink), will be divided between the Los Olivos Centro de Discapacidad and the Asociación San Juan. Mayor Rodríguez Fraga said these fund-raisers were an excellent display of social solidarity, in which the people of Adeje were always happy to participate. He added that it would also be a great bonus for the students of the two centres, as the funds raised would enable them to buy essential materials.

Oil firm abandons search SCOTTISH company Cairn and A n g l o -T u r k i s h Genel Energy have abandoned their search for oil off the Fu e r t e v e n t u r a coast.

The decision was taken less than two weeks they had discovered oil off the Moroccan coast and the JM-1 well has since been plugged and abandoned. The companies, which had been prospecting since January, had drilled to a depth of

3,711 metres. In separate statements released via their websites, both companies explain that their surveys have confirmed

the existence of “heavy” oil in a stretch of 110m thickness on the Upper Jurassic deposits, where oil was found in the 1968 MO-2 surveys.

Determining the potential of the oil will require further investigation, but the find was reported by the companies’ Moroccan

partners, the National Office of Hydrocarbons and Mines as not being a “quality reserve”. Data obtained by Cairn and Genel will now be cross-referenced with data from the nearby Juby wells to determine how to proceed with future research and investigation. The goal was to search deeper than the 1968 surveys, hoping to reach deposits of Middle and Lower Jurassic, which has now been completed. Both claim to have found oil strata with a “limited porosity”. Cairn Energy carried out its last two surveys

on the Moroccan coast, firstly at Foum Draa (south of Agadir) and then Juby Maritime (west of Tarfaya). The next stages of investigation will be around Sangomar, off the Senegal coast. Genel announced two weeks ago that it had found oil, which fuelled the controversy between the PP and the Canary Island Government regarding Repsol’s surveys in the Canaries. But the National Office of Hydrocarbons and Mines said at the time: “Morocco has not yet found oil.”


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Poor diets can lead to diabetes - and worse!

AS many as 65% of the diabetic population in the Canaries Islands have the disease because they cannot afford to eat sensibly.

The editor says...

Benito Maceira, head of nephrology at the University Hospital (HUC), spoke on Tuesday about how poor diets among diabetics can, in turn, lead to a higher incidence of kidney disease among sufferers.

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

Bare-faced, yes… but certainly not a cheek!

Maceira said in a radio interview that he estimated that some 65% of the diabetic population were unable to afford the kind of diet they need. And he called for manufacturers and retailers to lower the cost of “quality” food somehow. Diabetes can be contained, or even prevented, if a diet low in carbohydrates and high in fish, fruit and vegetables is maintained. Maceira believes that these healthier prod-

ucts are also the most expensive, which puts them out of the reach of many. According to the specialist, the “business as usual” approach by the manufacturers, distributors and retailers in the recession is “unsustainable”, He also says the rise in chronic diseases and increasing number of ER admissions for kidney problems related to diabetes provides the “proof”. Maceira insists that more investment should be made in prevention,

and there would then be less investment required for treatment and cures. “This is an uphill struggle,” he admits. “Many people can have diabetes for 10-15 years without knowing it, and by then the damage may already have been done.” Not only that, but it would mean sacrificing some expensive items in favour of campaigns over the mediumto-long term, leaving short-term solutions lacking.

Your Emails FOR me, there are charities and there are charities. Most people will have a cause which is close to their heart, and they will do their upmost to support it, however they can. So for me, everyone of them is as important as the other. That said, I have no time for the “corporation” charities which seem to exist just to sustain jobs. I’m sure you can work out which ones I’m on about, and it’s just a personal opinion. But what I cannot understand is, as the Daily Mail would say, some of the fury at this week’s brilliant Facebook campaign to raise awareness of Cancer Charities. For me, it’s very simple: if you don’t want to help, don’t help. But don’t go off on one because other people do want to do something. Ironically the “controversy” over this has actually helped the initial point by raising awareness! If you have missed it,

Ladies have been posting pictures of themselves without any make-up. They have been brave and some lads have decided to do something similar and go the other way. They have slapped on the erm, slap! So fair play to our Sports Correspondent Adi Benson for being a sport and also to Jamie Drew. He forgot the make-up and just got dressed up!

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

Dear Editor, In response to your letter last week involving a cyclist and a bus in Los Cristianos, you rightly point out that driving standards are important. But I believe there is a more important issue that needs to be addressed: the lack of legal support or response when visitors to Tenerife are involved in accidents or incidents. On 4th January, 2012, I was out for my morning stroll, and, while walking round a corner, I trod on an advertisement board which had fallen flat on to the footpath. I fell heavily and was taken to hospital, where it was confirmed that I had a broken bone just above my ankle which required surgery involving a metal plate and screws to hold it in place. It was confirmed by a member of staff from the bar which put the advertisement board out that it had blown down several times, and that she had replaced it in its unsecure place. There were also several other independent witnesses to the incident, who confirmed that the sign was insecure. My insurance company took up my complaint and appointed a lawyer to pursue the case. The bar in question was in San Eugenio and although several attempts were made by way of fax being served on the bar to establish the details of its public liability insurance, the owner refused to respond. Like last week’s letter writer, I had to go to the notary and obtain a power of attorney to continue this case on my behalf as I was leaving the Island. Several questions regarding both situations come to mind: *Are the people who visit this lovely island protected from being exploited when incidents or accidents occur? *Can any of these businesses run without having public liability insurance to protect its customers? *Who issues the public liability insurance? *Who polices or regulates these businesses? As the previous writer put it: “Why are tourists treated so badly by the authorities?” KB

Avda. Claudio Delgado Diaz 99, Edf. Ayllon Local 2C, Pol. Ind. Las Chafiras, 38639 San Miguel De Abona, Tenerife PRINTED BY: TF Print S.A.

Managing Editor & Director: News Editor: Ross Browning Chris Elkington chris.elkington@canarianweekly.com

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Contributors: Adi Benson, Carl Pattison, Emma Swain, Geoff Huxtable, Jamie Drew, Joe Ferguson, Mariano Zunino Siri, Margaret Tully, Ruth Benson, Sue McDonald, Val Sainsbury Canarian Weekly takes all reasonable care to check the contents of every advertisement, but cannot accept responsibility for the claims or statements made in them. Also, statements or opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor or Publishers. Material featured in Canarian Weekly may not be reproduced without the explicit written permission of the Editor. Copyright © 2014 Canarian Weekly


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Tourism funding short by millions BANKS have provided 700 million euros to help improve tourism in the Canary Islands, following agreements between them and the Canary Islands’ Government.

But it just isn’t enough because the sum required is 1.825m euros, which leaves a huge shortfall. Economy and Finance Minister Javier González Ortiz said on Monday that this so-called “easy credit” was just one of the tools used by the Government to boost the Canary Islands’ economy.

González Ortiz was speaking at a conference on development strategies for the archipelago, organised by Tribuna Fórum and the Institute of Business and Economics at the Royal Economic Society of Friends of the Country. The minister referred last year’s package of measures launched by the Canaries Government to speed up the Islands’ recovery from the recession. Included in these measures are the regional budgets, the renewal of Economic and Fiscal Regime (REF), financial tools to obtain credit, the “2020 action plan”, and the securing of European funds. Ortiz criticised the Spanish Government for the budget gap - despite

securing what initially appeared to be mammoth funding, the Islands’ per capita investment is way below the national average. He referred to the REF and its important relationship with job creation, saying, “It is impossible to overcome the crisis without creating jobs.” Ortiz acknowledged that today’s signs were pointing towards economic improvement, but added, “We must continue to strengthen the companies generating employment.” He also mentioned the current topic of oil drilling, saying that although an oil strike could bring about “temporary” recovery, “a four-star hotel in Fuerteventura offers more jobs than oil”.

El Hierro’s quaking but not shaking again EL HIERRO, smallest of the Canary Islands, has registered over 150 small tremors since the early hours of Sunday morning, mostly measuring between 1.5 and 2.3 on the Richter Scale. Most of the tremors, registered by the volcano-monitoring department of the National Geographic Institute (IGN), were in the north-eastern side of the island, north of Frontera and west and south-west of Valverde.

The tremors were so slight that the general public would not have felt them. Since last Friday when the activity began, over 180 tremors were detected. The largest yet measured 2.4 on the Richter Scale and was recorded at 4.13am on Saturday, north-east of Frontera, on land, and at a depth of 16 kilometres. It brings the total number of “activity” episodes to seven since 2011. But El Hierro Ca-

bildo President Alpidio Armas says: “The earthquakes are isolated, low-intensity, and not felt by the population.” He adds: “They are within the normal range of an area as active as the Canary Islands.” Because of the normality of this latest series of quakes, there is no need to raise the alert level, which remains on green, and will not need any intervention from the Civil Protection agency.

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Free HIV testing service for Adeje ADEJE Council has launched a pilot project which includes a sexual information service and early HIV detection testing.

Passports will soon cost less THE cost of applying for a British passport from overseas will be reduced by as much as £45 from next month.

Previously, British expats living in Spain or the Canaries were able to apply to the British Consulate in Madrid to renew their passports, But this method is being scrapped in favour of a return to processing them back in the UK. The revised prices (£28.50 less for children) are still higher than those paid by UK residents because the process takes longer and is more costly. A compulsory courier

fee will still apply, but this is regarded as essential for ensuring safe delivery of the documentation.. The new fees, which will be introduced on 7th April, should benefit around four million British ex-pats, including some 800,000 who live in Spain and the Canaries for all or part of the year. The new fees are: Adult passport (32page): £83 Child (32-page): £53 Jumbo for all (48-page): £91 The passport “Smart Form” is available online, along with comprehensive guidelines for filling out the form, acceptable photographs, and counter-signatories.

It was presented this week by José Díaz-Flores Estévez, Regional Director-General for Public Health, and Adeje Mayor José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga (pictured). The service will be available in the Adeje health promotion department in the Centre for Tourism Development Costa Adeje (CDTCA). Testing will be carried out on Mondays and Thursdays, by appointment, which can be made by phoning 92 756 257 or 922 756 244. The idea is to offer information which should improve the general population’s awareness of sexually-transmitted infections, reduce the incidence of HIV as well as unwanted pregnancies. The free testing service will be carried out by trained personnel, total confidentiality is guaranteed - and the results are known within 20 minutes. And, says the Mayor, it should help those who may not wish to go to their local health centre, or talk to the own GP about testing. Personnel will be available to help people who have limited or no Spanish. The Mayor said they were already working with a sex-education

programme - through local schools and colleges - designed to give young people the knowledge they needed to develop their own sexuality independently and without risks. “We worry about the health of our citizens,” said Rodríguez Fraga, “We have felt it necessary to promote an educational campaign which will depict a healthier, safer life for all. “That’s why we are creating this Sex Information Point, which will help people with their sexual orientation, as well as the creation of a discreet HIV-testing centre, with personalised attention and quick results.” The regional Public Health chief said that if the results were good, the scheme would be repeated in other parts of the islands. “Illnesses caused by sexually transmission are a cause of worry for the administrations,

particularly healthy bodies,” added Flores Estévez. “And the most worrying is HIV. In the Canary Islands, we are seeing 250 new cases annually, and the problem nationally and internationally is that 30% of those who are infected don’t know. “Therefore, we have to reinforce the need for early detection. This will prevent the development of other parallel infections and greatly improve the quality of life of the person who is HIV positive.” Flores Estévez said the profile of those diagnosed with HIV had changed, and today, the largest group are those infected through unprotected sex. That totals 93.7%, of which 71% are men who have sexual relations with other men. Only 3.4% of new cases are as a result of intravenous drug use. The project includes a number of other ini-

tiatives: an awarenessraising drive among the public; social and professional agencies working together in education; associations and families offering a series of talks and workshops on sexual behaviour and better health. There will also be prevention projects aimed at the borough’s youngsters and talks for parents and educators, in co-ordination with local health centres, social services and youth groups. The Public Health’s Regional department is helping to carry out the tests, which can be done via oral fluid or digital blood testing. Prior to the test, the person involved will be told about what it entails, and a quick interview will be held solely to determine if it is really necessary. Throughout the entire procedure, the intimacy of the person concerned is respected.

A wee problem in the Canaries MORE than 270,000 people in the Canaries suffer from urinary incontinence – especially women!

Estimates suggest that around 200,000 women (24% of the female population) are affected, according to a report by the National

Observatory of Incontinence (ONI). It also surmises that as many as 33% people affected by incontinence have never discussed the problem with a doctor, and that percentage rises to 80 % for women. When asked why they did not see a doctor, the majority said they thought it was a nor-

mal problem associated with age (41.4%), or were too embarrassed to talk about their problem (27.6%). And that is why the ONI concludes that urinary incontinence is an under-diagnosed and under-treated condition. As age increases, the likelihood of incontinence is higher: around

25% of women in the over-35s category suffer, and this rises to 50% for over-65s. The report says that 64% of those affected by incontinence say that the condition seriously affects their quality of life, including work and socially. In addition, experts say that its effects are not only physical, but

also psychological, emotional and social, affecting self-esteem and often causing emotional distress related to the disease; for example, anxiety, stress, social isolation and depression. There are a number of symptoms which indicate incontinence. Urine can escape when a person is laughing,

sneezing, jumping or performing a sudden movement. Incontinence is also indicated by the need to rush to the toilet, or an increase in the frequency of bathroom visits. Among female sufferers, 86% fear social rejection, and many are unaware that there are effective treatments.


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Non-environment green tax passed! SANTA Cruz Council’s request for the Canary Islands Government to introduce an air-quality tax, to be claimed from companies known to cause air pollution, was approved.

It was supported by all the political parties, except the People’s Party (PP), and was passed under the heading “Motion on Green taxation”. Yet it hardly concerns the creation of a tax to help the environment. Finance Councillor Alberto Bernabé says the subject of the motion was to tax those who harm air quality, although other incidences may also be brought in under the same banner. Bernabé stressed that the Town Hall had no power to request that benefits from the tax, if implemented, be kept

within the Town Hall’s accounts. But he did ask that, if agreed, a proportion be allocated to Santa Cruz. Bernabé said the original idea was in response to the current sensitivity about air quality, particularly regarding the oil refinery. Despite figures released last week indicating that the air quality in Santa Cruz was well within the World Health Organisation’s “safe”

limits, Bernabé believes the proven risk between air quality and health damage is increasingly evident, and that “action must be taken.” But he refused to try to petition for a tax aimed exclusively at the refinery, noting that there are other businesses or facilities whose activities had implications for air quality in the Island’s capital - namely the port, and cement works.

That’s rich! Top five families worth more than the 12,6m poor THE poorest onefifth of all people in Britain - 12.6 million - have less money than the wealthiest FIVE families in Britain!

The richest family in Britain, the Grosvenors - headed by the Duke of Westminster - are sitting on a £7.9bn fortune. It emanates mainly from the 190 acres of real estate they own in London’s Belgravia, according to the Forbes rich list. Second are brothers David and Simon Reuben, whose £6.9bn pile comes from metals and property, together with the Hinduja brothers, with trucking and banking businesses worth £6bn. The Cadogan family, worth £4bn from owning property and land

in Chelsea and Knightsbridge, plus Cadogan Estates, and Newcastle United FC owner and Sports Direct clothing chain boss Mike Ashley (£3.3bn), complete the top five. Charity organisation Oxfam, in its Tale Of Two Britains report, found the gap between rich and poor has grown significantly over the last two decades. It revealed that the richest 0.1% of the population have seen incomes grow nearly four times faster than the poorest 90% of the country. The wealthy elite have an extra £24,000 in their pockets every year - almost as much as the average £26,500 UK salary. Ben Phillips, Oxfam’s director of campaigns and policy, said: “Britain is becoming a deeply divided nation, with a wealthy elite who are seeing their incomes

spiral up, while millions of families are struggling to make ends meet. “It’s deeply worrying that these extreme levels of wealth inequality exist in Britain today, where just a handful of people have more money than millions struggling to survive on the breadline.” Britain’s major charity, ahead of this week’s Budget, called on the Chancellor to raise revenues from those most able to afford it. It wants to see a renewed clampdown on tax dodgers, as well as a long-term strategy to raise the minimum wage - which will rise from £6.31 to £6.50 in October - to a so-called “living wage”. Mr Phillips added: “Increasing inequality is a sign of economic failure rather than success. “It’s time for our leaders to stand up and be counted on this issue.”

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St. Patrick’s Day

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

St. Patrick’s Da The south of Tenerife came alive on Monday as St Paddys Day was celebrated, loud and large! Oasis Fm broadcast live from a mammoth five venues. Starting at Gaelic Corner in Patch, the party moved on to O’Neills in Veronicas before Leonardos took over hosting duties. Then in was off to Murphys Bar before a final visit to Devon Arms in Los Cristianos! As you can see from these pictures, everyone had a great time! Gaelic corner

O’Neills

Keeping the flavour of St. Patrick’s Day going! THE St Patrick Day celebrations will have finished a fortnight earlier, but three local Churches here in the South are linking up to host a series of gospel concerts. They are taking place at the end of March and will have all the flavour of Ireland - and more! Callao Salvaje Community Church, Cristianos Community Church and Tenerife Family Church are inviting everyone to come along on one of the evenings, from Saturday 29th March to the Monday.

They will surely enjoy the music of Northern Ireland’s Colin Elliott on his first visit to Tenerife! Colin Elliott and his Country/Gospel band Live Issue made history in Nashville by becoming the first group from Ireland - and only the second group from the British Isles - to perform on Nashville’s famed Grand Ole Opry stage. He was again invited to appear in a solo capacity at the Grand Ole Opry in July 2010, in

the Ryman Auditorium, with a further appearance at Easter 2011. Last summer, Colin and Live Issue again toured the United States and fulfilled several concert invitations in Nashville, making him somewhat of a “regular” in Opry circles. His music, a cocktail of Country, Gospel and Contemporary, which has been appreciated by many over the past 25 years, is influenced greatly by his Christian faith, his life and musical experiences.

Although his repertoire contains dozens of familiar songs, Colin also performs many of his own. They are requested regularly on radio shows, and have inspired people throughout Ireland and across the world. With the flavour of St. Patrick’s Day still very much in the air in Tenerife - and, no doubt, many other parts of the globe - this will be a great opportunity to hear this fantastic Irish singer in concert over here.

He will be performing at the following venues: Saturday (29th Mar), 7.30pm: Callao Salvaje Community Church. Refreshments will be available free during the interval. More details from Ken Cummings on 654 932 541 or by email: info@callaosalvajecommunitychurch.com 7pm: Sunday (30th), Cristianos Community Church, situated in the Sol Princesa Dacil Hotel (downstairs from reception), Los Cristianos. More details from Adrian McBride on 608 409

016, or by email: adrian@cristianoscommunitychurch.com Monday (31st), 7.30pm: Tenerife Family Church, hosting the evening at The Function Room, Winter Gardens, next to Rendezvous Restaurant, Golf del Sur. The bar will be open for refreshments. More details from Bill Jeffrey on 609 565 528, or by email: billtenerife@gmail.com Entrance is free on all three nights and everyone is welcome to come along to any or all of the evenings.


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St. Patrick’s Day

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

13 CW

ay with OasisFm Murphys Bar

Leonardo’s

Devon Arms


CW 14

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News

Hard Rock on a roll!

THE new Hard Rock Cafe Tenerife had its grand opening night last weekend, displaying memorabilia from legendary stars.

The Las Americasbased newcomer also featured the winner of Hard Rock Rising Tenerife Battle of the Bands. This was followed by the band Guitar Smash, and a great performance from top Spanish musician Leiva. The cafe joins popular Hard Rock Cafe locations in Spain, including Madrid, Barcelona, Palma de Mallorca, Ibiza and Marbella. And adorning the walls is a massive memorabilia spread from Hard Rock’s iconic collection, including items from legendary and contemporary musicians from

around the world. Fans will be able to see Madonna’s floral dress; a T. Rex zippered shirt; a jacket from Girls, Girls, Girls signed by Elvis, who starred in the film, and the Colonel; a Roy Orbison Western suit; a signed Stratocaster guitar by Tommi Iomi, and much more. Antonio Bautista, Area Vice-President for Hard Rock International, said: “Hard Rock Cafe Tenerife is sure to be a great addition to the local music and dining scene. “And we congratulate our franchise partners at Expo Hotels & Resorts for their diligent efforts to open an exceptional Hard “We would also like to thank the management of Mare Nostrum Resort for supporting us, and all The Golden Mile business area for their warm welcome into the community.”

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Vodafone ties the knot for Spanish cable MOBILE giants Vodafone is buying Spanish cable operator Ono for 7.2bn euros (£6bn) in a bid to expand the company’s Europe interests.

The private equityowned Ono, offering cable TV and internet services, has 1.9 million customers in Spain, which should prove a lucrative move for Vodafone. It’s a view confirmed by the company’s boss, Vittorio Colao, who said: “The deal is an attractive value-creation opportunity.” It comes just six months after Vodafone purchased a controlling stake in German cable operator Kabel. The firm plans to invest up to £25bn of the £84bn it generated from the sale of its stake in Verizon Wireless in its core European networks. Before the deal, Ono’s private-equity owners were planning to float the company on the

Madrid stock exchange. Ono chairman Jose Maria Castellano Rios said the enlarged business would help “drive innovation in the Spanish telecommunications industry”. Peregrine & Black analyst Markus Huber said the deal would put

Vodafone in a better position to compete with rivals such as Telefonica and Orange. He added: “It follows the strategy they are already pursuing in Germany - and in Europe in general - which is to expand their overall offer to their clients by

adding cable service to their wireless services.” Mike McCudden, from online brokers Interactive Investor, said: “It’s a shrewd, strategic move for Vodafone and will provide the firm with the fixed-line operation it currently lacks in Spain.”

EZE hits bullseye for local charities TWO local charities were given a welcome financial boost this week, thanks to the EZE Group Foundation.

In January, it organised the highly-successful darts night at Showtime, which saw world No.3 Simon Whitlock and world No.6 James Wade in action. The money raised from that evening is being passed on to local causes, and the first two recipients were delighted to receive 1,250 euros each. Liz Montague gladly accepted the cheque on behalf of Helping Hands, while Brigitte Gypen, from Walk For Life & Amate, was equally delighted. Dominic O’Reilly, from EZE Group, said: “It was a really great night and I know how much Simon and James enjoyed themselves. “The response from everyone was amazing and it’s so nice to be able to help out these great local charities.” And the charity donations are not finished yet. More local charities are still to benefit from an event which, hopefully, will become an annual extravaganza.


www.canarianweekly.com 21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

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News

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Polluted Paris bans cars

MORE than 700 police officers monitored traffic in Paris on Monday following a decision taken by the French government to impose major restrictions following the capital city’s pollution levels.

Only motorists whose cars have odd-numbered registration plates were be allowed to drive. Such was the success of the experiment, however, that Tuesday’s planned day to allow even-numbered plates only was cancelled. Ecology Minister Philippe Martin “The ban has led to results showing a clear trend of improvement” which meant it would not be necessary to continue the measure.” The government de-

cided to implement the ban on Saturday after pollution particulates in the air exceeded safe levels for five straight days in Paris and neighbouring areas, enveloping the Eiffel Tower in a murky haze.

The smoggy conditions have been caused by a combination of cold nights and warm days, which have prevented pollution from dispersing. Parisians enjoyed warm, sunny condi-

tions on Sunday, but pollution levels rose again on Monday. The measure has been tried once before, in 1997, and Paris air quality monitoring body Airparif says it had a noticeable im-

pact on improving the air quality. Motorcycles were covered by the ban, which ran from 5.30am to midnight. Exceptions were made for electric and hybrid vehicles, and for cars carrying three or

more passengers. The capital’s air quality has been one of the worst on record, say French environmental agencies. It rivals Chinese capital Beijing, one of the world-s most polluted cities.

Naked truth for The Full Monty THE stage version of The Full Monty, taking place at London’s Noel Coward Theatre is closing after just five weeks this month.

The play, adapted from the hit 1997 film about hard-up Sheffield steelworkers, opened on 20th February and should have run until 14th June. But disappointed producers David Pugh and Dafydd Rogers will pull

the plug next Saturday (29th Mar). They said in a statement: “It is with great sadness that this show will close, despite having played to packed houses on its UK tour. Simply not enough of a West End audience shared in the excitement of this terrific production. But a further UK tour will go ahead, beginning in Manchester on 11th September. The show was recently nominated for an Olivier Award for best new comedy, and had inspired glowing critics’ reviews.

Actor Kenny Doughty, who plays Gaz, wrote in a Facebook post on Sunday: “I’m devastated and heartbroken. “Yesterday, on the day we had two full houses and two standing ovations, in the week our play got an Olivier nomination, we were given the shocking news that the play was being pulled. “We were summoned to a full company call on stage immediately after curtain call. You could still hear the whoops and cheers from the

audience behind the curtain as the producer gave us our two weeks’ notice. “I am utterly devastated, not only for myself but for every single soul who has given his/her all for this play.” He added: “We delivered night after night, the audiences loved it and we got amazing reviews.” The news puzzled some critics, who expected the play to be a hit. And The Stage newspaper’s Mark Shenton was “amazed”

by the announcement. He wrote: “I’m not saying that it was any kind of theatrical masterpiece, but it had all the ingredients for what I imagined would make it a certified smasheroo: an already-beloved title, a smashing production, and the titillating promise of a bit of male nudity. What could go wrong?” Critic Charles Spencer reviewing the show in The Telegraph on 25th February, wrote: “If ever a show had ‘big hit’ written all over it, then

it is this wonderfully-entertaining and deeplytouching stage version of this successful British film.” It is not the only show in town to close early. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Stephen Ward musical about the Profumo scandal will shut after less than four months. Sir Tim Rice’s latest musical, From Here to Eternity, will end after six months, while Viva Forever, the Spice Girls’ musical, lasted just six months after poor reviews and ticket sales.


www.canarianweekly.com 21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

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19 CW Timetable of events for Los Cristianos’ Carnival www.canarianweekly.com

Carnival Timetable

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

FRIDAY 21 MARCH 21.00 h: Presentation of Candidates for Carnival Queen, Junior Queen and Drag Queen! WHERE: Auditorio Infanta Leonor (Cultural Center of Los Cristianos).

SATURDAY 22 MARCH 20.00 h: Parade Announcer Carnival 2014. LOCATION: From Avenida Rafael Puig Llivina (Gala Mall) and ending on Avenida Las Americas at the end of Oasis Mall (Las Americas). 23:00 : Big Dance Orchestra Tribute to Maracaibo Chocolate and orchestra at the end. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.   SUNDAY 23 MARCH 17.00 h: Festival of Children Murgas. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.   WEDS 26 MARCH 20.00: Gala Election of Child Queen of Carnival 2014. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the

building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos. THURSDAY 27 MARCH 21:00 pm: Gala Election of Adult Queen of Carnival 2014. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.

FRIDAY 28 MARCH 18:30: Dancing Carnival Senior. LOCATION: Courtyard Los Cristianos Cultural Centre. 21: 00 h: Choices Gala Drag Queen of Carnival 2014. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos. 23:00: Big Dance entertained by orchestras: Malibu Boys and The Machine. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.   SATURDAY 29 MARCH 12:00 to 18:00 h: “Carnival Day “ with two scenarios: - Space Top 40 performances by various artists of national and international scene including Top 40

lists. Campus Carnival (against Valdes Center Building ) -  Square Pescadora (Los Cristianos) -. various performances, makeup workshops and carnival masks, ... 5:00 p.m.: Costume Contest of the Carnival 2014. PLACE: Pescadora Square, Los Cristianos. 18:00 pm: Carnival Parade with groups in the municipality of Arona. PLACE: Starting from Plaza del Pescador (Cultural Center) to the beach of Los Cristianos. 20:00 pm: Competition Troupes Rhythm and Harmony of Carnival 2014. LOCATION : Playa de las Americas. 20:00: Big Dance entertained by orchestras: Combo Dominicano, Wamampy and Latino Mambo. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.

SUNDAY 30 MARCH 11.00 to 14.00. Exhibition of Classic Cars . WHERE: Paseo Marítimo of Christians, dozing old pier and Casa del Mar. 12:00 : Pets Contest of

the Carnival 2014. PLACE: Pescadora Square, Los Cristianos. 16:00: Gran Coso apotheosis of Carnival 2014 WHERE: Starting from Paloma Beach apartments along Avenida Juan Carlos I, Amsterdam Avenue, ending at Avenida Los Sandpipers (corner of Church Square) At the end , Big Dance entertained by orchestras and Golden Harmony Show. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.

MONDAY 31 MARCH 20:00: Burial of the Sardine , starting from the Cultural Center to the Playa de Los Cristianos. PLACE : Starting from Plaza del Pescador (Cultural Center) The Shirelles Avenue, Avenida Sweden, Av Breakwater Benchijigua, Casa del Mar esplanade arrival to the beach of Los Cristianos. At the end , Big Dance Weekend Carnival. LOCATION: Campus Carnival (outside the building Valdés Center), Los Cristianos.


CW 20

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Legal / Business

By Mariano Zunino Siri

THANK you for all your emails I have received. I will be answering them personally, or through this column.

I have received one from BF which I consider to be worth reproducing fully, with my answer. Hi there, You spoke recently about tenant evictions, but a greater number of people are having problems paying mortgages in this economic climate. What is the situation with people who can no longer pay the full amount of the mortgage? What are the stages of eviction, and are there arrangements that can be made with the lenders? What about people who are of pensionable age and relying on earn-

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Repossession: the main facts

ings to boost the pension but have now no jobs, especially if they were self-employed and the banks will not extend the length of the loan? Will the banks allow them to hand the property back, or do they sell the house on at a very low price and expect the owners to pay the difference? People just cannot sell houses at the moment and if they do, it will produce a huge shortfall which will leave them in negative equity. It is nightmare situation for so many desperate people. Would it not be in the lender’s interest to maybe rent the property to the existing owners and then sell it on at a later date when the markets improve, rather than having the property empty? After having paid so much money on the mortgages over the

years, do the owners have any rights at all? Is there any advice agency which can assist them in the correct way to approach the lenders? I suspect many people would welcome your advice on this awful situation. The email is so clear

and shows the concern of the writer - a concern shared by many people in this sad situation. I will do my best to explain the Spanish legal system in an easy way to understand. Mortgage as guarantee According to Spanish Law, the mortgage is a real estate right of guarantee. It means that this right goes “attached” to the property from hand to hand, irrespective of who owns it. The mortgage, as a real estate right, is valid from the date of the registration of the Mortgage Deed at the Land Registry. Normally, when someone buys a property with a mortgage loan, there are two Deeds: the Deed of Purchase, by which the purchaser becomes owner of the property, and Deed of Mortgage, which states the conditions of the loan, deadline, interests, penalties, value of the property in case of auction, etc. Both Deeds are registered at the same time and, normally, the bank asks to deal with such registrations That’s because it is important for the bank to have the Deed of Mortgage registered in place. With the Deed of Mortgage, the bank takes the property as a guarantee for the loan repayment, and it can repossess if the debtor does not pay. It is important to know that, in addition to the real estate right, there is one “personal” right. Consequently, if the value of the property does

not cover the full amount of the loan - including interests, penalties, legal expenses, etc - the bank can repossess (recovering the debt partially) and go against the assets of the debtor to recover the full amount. In other words, the repossession does not release the debtor, unless the value of the repossessed property is higher than the debt. According to Spanish Law, when signing a Mortgage Deed you will be liable with all your current and future assets. The mortgage is only a guarantee, subject to the financial loan. In some cases, the debtor is no longer interested in paying the mortgage, considering that he owes the bank more than what the property is worth. It is a common mistake to consider that by handing over the keys - refunding possession of the property -the matter will be sorted and the loan cancelled. Although some banks have accepted this type of agreement (depending on the cases) in most of the cases the banks would be losing money if the property were to be sold at public auction and the value of the property was lower than the outstanding loan. Bear in mind that if the debtor negotiates with the bank and the bank accepts the refunding of keys on exchange of cancellation of the debt (and mortgage), it will be necessary to grant a Title

Deed (to be recorded at the Land Registry). Foreign (non-resident) owners are concerned about their assets in their own countries if the bank is unwilling to accept the keys and cancel the mortgage because the banks can pursue debts abroad. That said, if the property to be foreclosed is the family home (home address of the debtor), then the situation is a bit different. Consequently, people who cannot pay the mortgage should negotiate with the bank to avoid the foreclosure. The possibility of refunding the keys - cancelling the mortgage – will be acceptable by the bank if there is no significant negative equity on the property. It is better for the bank to repossess the immovable, without it being necessary to start a foreclosing proceeding and get the property by auction. What is of interest is Law 1/2013 “Protection of Mortgagees, Resettlement of Debt Social Letting”. In the first Chapter, the law is trying to avoid the eviction of people in special, dramatic situations such as numerous families, with kids of three years old or less, disabled people, etc. In these cases there would be a two-year suspension of foreclosure. In the second Chapter, the law limits the default interest to be charged by banks up to three times the legal interest (12% for 2013) with no capitalisation of interest in cases of the family home. The third Chapter includes the possibility of objecting to the foreclosing proceeding in cases of abusive clauses (unnaturally high interest rates, for example). This being such an extensive matter, I promise I’ll get back to this subject in the future. Mariano Zunino Siri is a lawyer registered in Tenerife Bar Association since 1991. Office in Los Cristianos at Edificio Valdes Center Torre “A”, oficina 1, piso 2º. Phone: 922 79 44 12.


www.canarianweekly.com 21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

TV

21 CW

Guide

Sport Relief 2014

Don't Miss...

The Sport Relief Weekend is kicking off with the biggest night of TV ever on Friday 21 March with a stellar line-up of sport and entertainment stars bringing viewers an unmissable evening of entertainment broadcast live, for the first time, from Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. TV favourites including Gary Lineker, David Walliams, Davina McCall, Claudia Winkleman, Jack Whitehall and Fearne Cotton will present the star-studded Friday night extravaganza featuring original sketches, special celebrity performances and highlights from this year’s challenges. Sport Relief hero John Bishop and four-time Olympic medal-winner Sebastian Coe will be donning their sports kit at the Olympic Park to captain two teams of celebrities and go head to head in a series of sporting challenges in the Clash of the Titans. Clare Balding and Gabby Logan will report all the action from the London Aquatics Centre and Lee Valley VeloPark as the two teams take on rhythmic gymnastics, track cycling, synchronised swimming and a swimming relay. With the Clash of the Titans trophy up for grabs, the competition will be fierce, the challenges demanding and the potential for sporting upset high. Only Fools And Horses will be back on screens after a 10-year absence with an eagerly awaited sketch that will see David Beckham, one of the show’s biggest fans, join Del Boy (David Jason) and Rodney (Nicholas Lyndhurst) in Peckham. Four Paralympians – David Clarke, Hannah Cockroft, Nathan Stephens and Martine Wright – will add a touch of sparkle to the evening as they swap their sport kit for sequins in a Strictly Come Dancing special, performing an amazing group dance. Those tuning in will also get to see highlights from this year’s celebrity challenges, with Alex Jones, Davina McCall, Robbie Savage and Alan Shearer all pushing themselves to their physical limits in the name of Sport Relief. There will be also live musical performances from Little Mix, who have recorded this year’s official Sport Relief single, Word Up; from the original pop princess Kylie Minogue; and heart throb favourites Boyzone. Powerful reminders of the serious side of Sport Relief will be shown throughout the night with moving appeal films, presented by the likes of Davina McCall, Little Mix and David Tennant, showing how the money raised could help change lives both here in the UK and around the world.


CW 22

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TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Friday 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15..................... Heir Hunters 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00.................. Rip Off Britain 11:45 .......................... Watchdog Test House

Friday

Frid

06:05 ............... Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

06:35 ................. Homes Under the Hammer

09:25......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

07:35 ................Rip Off Britain 08:20...Wanted Down Under

08:30.............................. Lorraine

10:30 .................... This Morning 11:25............................ ITV News

12:15.................... Bargain Hunt

09:05 ..........The Great Interior Design Challenge

13:00 ...........................BBC News at One

10:05 .........Pound Shop Wars 10:35............ The Travel Show

13:30 ......... BBC London News

11:00 ........................BBC News

13:45 .............................. Doctors

12:00 .......... The Daily Politics

14:00 .............Auf Wiedersehen My Pet

14:15 ......................... Perfection

13:00 ................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show

15:00 ............................Escape to the Country

13:20 ........................War Walks

15:45 ..................James Martin’s Food Map of Britain

13:50... The Nature of Britain

16:15 ........................Sport Relief Does Glee Club 2014

16:15 ........................ ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00.................... BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00 .......................... Sport Relief 2014 22:00 ................... BBC News at Ten 22:25..... BBC London News 22:35 .......................... Sport Relief 2014

W C ch o i ce

14:40 ....... Cagney and Lacey 15:25 .......................... Bergerac 17:15 ....Antiques Roadshow 18:00............... Revenge of the Egghead 18:30.............Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00.. Antiques Road Trip 20:00..............Mastermind

11:30.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather

16:00.................... Tipping Point 17:00.......................... The Chase 18:00..................... ITV News London 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00................ Emmerdale 19:30 .................Coronation Street 20:00 .........Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages

20:30 .................Coronation Street 21:00........A Very British W C Renaissance choice 21:00 ......... Edge of Heaven 22:00 ................ ITV News at 22:00..... Sport Relief 2014 Ten and Weather 22:40................ Newsnight 20:30..... Gardeners’ World

23:10...Revolutionary Road

22:35..................... Duplicity

A Very British Renaissance BBC2, 21.00 When most people think of the Renaissance, they don’t think of England - they think of Italy, and the talent and exuberance of Leonardo and Michelangelo creating glorious works of art. Now, in a new series for BBC Two, Dr James Fox looks back at a forgotten British Renaissance, celebrating an age that saw Britain shed its medieval shackles and embrace a world of cutting-edge art, literature, architecture and science. Across three episodes, James reveals the painters, sculptors, poets, thinkers and figures who, he argues, brought a bold and beautiful artistic movement to our shores between the 1500s to the start of the English civil war. In the opening episode, James explores how the Renaissance arrived, with a handful of influential European artists bringing ideas from the continent in the early 16th century - from the inspiration of Torrigiano, who fled Florence after a fist fight with Michelangelo, to Holbein and his influence on painter John Bettes - thought to be the first English Renaissance-trained artist. Although impossible without this foreign stimulus, this renaissance quickly became quintessentially British - and it was gaining momentum.


day

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Friday

Friday

21st

March

06:00 ...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:35 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00................................. Frasier 10:00 ..........A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 11:00........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12:05......................... Coach Trip 12:35 ........ River Cottage Bites 12:45 ..................The Man From Colorado 14:40...................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ....................Four in a Bed 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00.............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00........ Channel 4 News 20:00......Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 21:00 ................ Gogglebox 22:00..........The Last Leg CWce ch oi 22:50 ........ 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:35.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:00 ..................The Borrowers

06:00............................ Switched

08:45...............................Bananas in Pyjamas

06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed!

06:30 ..................The Borrowers

06:25.................................. 90210

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed!

07:00....................... Robin Hood

07:10......................... Ugly Betty

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

08:00 ....................Nick Knowles’ Original Features

08:00 ........................... Charmed

11:10 .........Police Interceptors

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

09:00 ................................The Bill

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime

10:00 .............................New Girl

09:30............................... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

10:00................................ The Bill

10:30 ................Happy Endings

11:00.............. The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

11:00 ........................... Charmed

06:00 ......................So You Think You’re Safe? 07:00 ........................Airline USA 08:00 ................ Modern Family 09:00 ........................... Futurama 10:00 ....................Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ...........NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 .........................All Aboard: East Coast Trains 15:00.......................... Inside RAF Brize Norton 16:00........................... Futurama 17:00 ...................The Simpsons 17:30 ................ Modern Family 18:30 ............ The Simpsons 20:30.......... Modern Family 21:00.......................... Stella 22:00...............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 23:00 ................ Moone Boy 23:30...... NCIS: Los Angeles

12:15 ................ Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45...................... Neighbours 14:15 ...........Diagnosis Murder 15:20 ........................... Jane Doe: Ties That Bind

10:30 .............................. The Real Housewives of New Jersey 11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:30..... You’ve Been Framed!

09:00 .............Made in Chelsea

12:00........................... Babylon 5

12:00 ...............................Rules of Engagement

13:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

17:00 .......................5 News at 5

14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show

15:00 ....................Nick Knowles’ Original Features

14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory

17:30...................... Neighbours

16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

16:00 ...................... Doctor Who

15:30 ................Happy Endings

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

18:00................ Traffic Cops

18:00........ Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00...The Gadget Show

CW

17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 19:00 ................ Traffic Cops

15:00 .............................New Girl 16:00................................Rules of Engagement

19:40 ................ Traffic Cops

17:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

20:20 ................ Traffic Cops

18:00....The Big Bang Theory

20:00... Two and a Half Men

21:00 ......... Motorway Cops

19:00 .................. Hollyoaks

21:00 ......................... The 40 Year Old Virgin

22:00 ................ Cops Uncut

19:30 ...The Big Bang Theory

22:30 ................ Cops Uncut

20:00............................ Troy

23:20 .............. Take Me Out

23:00 ....................Stranded

21:00 .........................Aliens

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:00 ................... Radical Highs

06:00 .............Thirtysomething

06:30 ........Nothing to Declare

07:15 .........................Bush Pilots

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

08:00 .......................Man v Food

08:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

08:00 ................................. RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

10:00 .............................Top Gear

10:00 .............Motorway Patrol

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods

11:00............... Motorway Cops

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

10:30 .............Motorway Patrol

12:00 .......................Man v Food

12:00 ............... Without a Trace

11:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

13:00 .............................Top Gear

13:00.................................. House

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00 .............................Top Gear

15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

15:00 ...............Motorway Cops

16:00 ............... Without a Trace

16:00 .......................Man v Food

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

17:00 .............................Top Gear

18:00 .........................House

18:00 .................... Top Gear

19:00 .........................House

19:00 ........................... Suits

20:00 ............... Blue Bloods

20:00 ........Storage Hunters

21:00 ............The Following

21:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

22:00 .............. Nurse Jackie

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00..................................... FL72 10:00 ...............The Rugby Club 11:00 .............. Barclays Premier League World 11:30................... Super League Superstars 13:00..................................... FL72 14:00............... The Rugby Club 15:00 .............. Barclays Premier League World 15:30 ....................Super League Superstars 17:00............... The Rugby Club 18:00................. Champions League Weekly 18:30 ................The Fantasy Football Club 19:30 ........... Rugby League 22:15 ................The Fantasy Football Club 23:15.........Barclays Premier League Preview 23:45.... Super League Gold

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20:00 ......Ice Road Truckers

21:00 ........ Booze, Bust-Ups and Brothels: Soho Blues 22:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00 ....................... CSI: NY 23:55 ........................ Access

16:00 .........................Dog Patrol 17:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules 20:00.................. CSI: Miami 21:00 ..............The Blacklist

18:00 ............... Dinner Date 19:00 ......................... You’ve Been Framed!

22:00............ Not Going Out

22:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

22:40............ Not Going Out

23:00 ......... Criminal Minds

23:20...........Mock the Week

22:35 ................ Mind of the Married Man 23:10 ........................ Tell Me You Love Me

23 CW

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The Last Leg Channel 4, 22:00

British Comedy Award winner Adam Hills and co-hosts Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker are joined by Frank Skinner to take a look at the weird and wonderful talking points of the week including the stories and highlights from the 2014 Winter Olympic and Paralympic Games. The show also includes the regular feature: Is It OK? Viewers at home and the studio audience are encouraged to ask this question about anything from the week, without fear of judgement, and the three hosts attempt to step into the min field of sometimes difficult and delicate areas and answer the questions with their own unique insight.

The Gadget Show Channel 5, 19:00

Action-packed tech consumer show. Jason and Rachel check out 3D projectors with the aid of Ortis at a 3D go-kart race, Jon investigates wireless printers, Radio 1Xtra DJ Charlie Sloth tests Bluetooth headphones and Ortis travels to California where three new forms of transport are promising to revolutionise the way we get around.


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www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C ch o i ce

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Saturday Saturday 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ...............This is BBC Two

06:00............................ Dino Dan

10:00 ............................. Saturday Kitchen Live

06:15................. Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food

06:25.........................Matt Hatter Chronicles

11:30 ...................James Martin: Home Comforts

06:45.................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

06:45 ............................ Canimals

12:00 .................Football Focus

07:15.................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

07:20 ...................................Sooty

12:45....... Saturday Sportsday 13:00 ..........................BBC News 13:10 ......... BBC London News 13:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:45 ............................Escape to the Country

The Americans ITV1, 21.25 With the Directorate superiors in both Washington and Moscow caught completely off guard by the recent killings of their agents - and of their agents’ daughter - they scramble to learn who was responsible for the devastating attack. With her family’s security potentially compromised, Elizabeth sticks close to home to keep a watchful eye on her children. When she receives a coded distress signal, Elizabeth is forced to venture out in the open and risk exposure in order to aid a young and inexperienced asset. Outside the Consulate, Philip also searches for clues as to who betrayed his fellow agents, knowing full well he and his family could be the next to fall. He follows a lead and investigates an asset who may have been turned, and who may have had a hand in the brutal assassinations. Meanwhile, a “walk-in” – an American with an unsolicited offer to share sensitive information with the KGB – arrives unannounced at the Rezidentura, resulting in a flurry of activity in both the Russian Consulate and the FBI offices, and Nina’s suspicions surrounding the death of a friend are confirmed, strengthening her resolve against Stan and the Americans.

14:45 ..............Davina - Beyond Breaking Point for Sport Relief 15:45 ..................................Reflex 16:30........................ Final Score 17:10 ..........................BBC News 17:25....................... Sport Relief 18:45 ............. The Voice UK 20:40............... The National Lottery Live 20:50 ............. The Voice UK The Live Quarter-Finals. Emma Willis and Marvin Humes present the first live show of the series, and the first chance for viewers to decide who remains in the competition and who goes home. All twelve artists perform for the public, and one person from each team will leave the competition, with the remaining eight artists continuing on to the live semifinals.

21:25 .....................Casualty 22:15 .................. BBC News 22:30 ...... Match of the Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of eight Premier League fixtures, including Chelsea’s London derby with Arsenal. The two sides may have drawn 0-0 at the Emirates earlier this season, but matches at Stamford Bridge in recent years have proven to be entertaining fare, with Chelsea winning three times compared to Arsenal’s two. The Blues were 2-1 victors last season, but the previous campaign saw the Gunners claim a memorable 5-3 win. Manchester City entertain Fulham at the Etihad Stadium, boasting a nine-match unbeaten record against the west London side. Liverpool’s game at Cardiff City has implications for teams involved at both ends of the table, while Everton’s match with Swansea pits Toffees boss Roberto Martinez against the club where he cut his managerial teeth.

07:45 .................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog 08:15 .................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog 08:45 .................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

07:10 ..............Om Nom Stories 07:30........................ Scrambled! 07:35 ...................Almost Naked Animals 07:50............... Adventure Time 08:30.................... Horrid Henry 08:50........................ Scrambled!

09:15 .................... Life on Earth

09:25............................ ITV News

10:10........................ The Nature of Britain

09:30 ...................... Dinner Date 10:25 ......... Murder, She Wrote

11:00 ................... Fred Dibnah’s Made in Britain

11:20..............................ITV News

11:30 ......................Great British Railway Journeys 12:00 .................. James Martin: Home Comforts 12:30 .......... Mary Berry Cooks 13:00 .................... Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 13:05 .................. Gregory Peck: Talking Pictures 13:35 ...................... Spellbound 15:25 ..............Ingrid Bergman: Talking Pictures 16:00 ......................... Notorious 17:40 .................................Flog it! Trade Secrets Antiques series. Trade Secrets takes in antiques and collectables from the Middle East, China and Japan. Paul Martin explores the market for Persian collectables, while Michael Baggott is wowed by a collection of Japanese antiques in Durham. Plus Nick Hall explains how to recognise quality Oriental craftsmanship.

18:40....Don’t Panic! The Dad’s Army Story

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19:30................ Dad’s Army 20:00................ The Perfect Morecambe and Wise 20:30 ..... The Plantagenets 21:30.......................... QI XL 22:15............. Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle 22:45............... Glasgow Big Night Out

11:30.................... The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12:00 ..........................The Chase 13:00........The Unforgettable... 13:30........ Midsomer Murders 15:30........... Kindergarten Cop 17:35 ........... ITV News London 17:45............................. ITV News 18:00 .........................You’ve Been Framed! 19:00 ............. Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway Ant and Dec continue the latest series of their fun-packed live family entertainment show. Guest announcers this time are the legendary Muppets, Little Ant and Dec meet Hollywood stars Samuel L Jackson and Scarlett Johansson, and Christine Bleakley is put through her paces in another side-splitting I’m a Celebrity... Get Out of Me Ear! The beloved Supercomputer makes its way to Sheffield for more prize-winning mayhem, there are more holiday prizes up for grabs as Place on the Plane continues, another lucky person from the studio audience gets the chance to win the ads, and the Top Secret Drum Corps help the lads put together another hilarious End of the Show Show.

20:25.................... The Cube 21:25.......The Americans

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22:20............. ITV News and Weather

22:35..... Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason


www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Saturday Saturday 22nd March 06:10 ........................ The Hoobs

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:35 ........................ The Hoobs

08:25 ..........Angelina Ballerina

07:00 ............Transworld Sport

08:45 ...................... Rupert Bear

08:00 ...........The Morning Line

09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

09:00............. Everybody Loves Raymond

09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm

09:25................................. Frasier

09:30.......................... LazyTown

09:55..... The Big Bang Theory

10:00 .......... The Dog Rescuers

10:20 .....The Big Bang Theory

10:30............. It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief

10:45.......................... How I Met Your Mother 11:45.................. The Simpsons 12:15 .................. The Simpsons 12:40....................... Undercover Boss USA 13:40 ........... Channel 4 Racing 16:10 ...... Come Dine with Me 16:40 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:10 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:45........ Channel 4 News 19:05 .........Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 20:00 ...........Off the Record 21:00............... Rush Hour 3 22:40 ...................Daredevil

06:00 .....................................Glee 07:00 .....................................Glee 08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .............Sky Sports Game Changers 10:00 .......................Soccer A.M. 12:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 13:00 ...................Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 14:00 ................................Sinbad 15:00............................Futurama 16:00 ................Modern Family 16:30................ Modern Family 19:00 ............The Simpsons 20:00 ................A League of Their Own 21:00 .........................Arrow 22:00 .................Revolution 23:00 ........... Fantastic Four

11:30 ...................................Police Interceptors 12:30 ........... Ice Road Truckers 13:30 .................... The Bridge at Remagen 15:45 ...................... Jesse Stone: Stone Cold 17:30 ...................Columbo: Old Fashioned Murder 18:50...............Longmire

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19:40 ........................... NCIS

21:25....... 5 News Weekend 21:30............Live Boxing

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06:00 ........................ Emmerdale Omnibus

06:15 ................................The Bill

06:00........................... Switched

07:00................................ The Bill

06:25 .......... Make it or Break it

08:35 ............Coronation Street Omnibus

08:00 ................................The Bill

07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty

09:00 ................................The Bill

08:00 ........................... Charmed

10:00 ............... Jonathan Creek

09:00 .............Made in Chelsea

11:00 ............... Jonathan Creek

10:00.......... The Mindy Project

12:00 .............................. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

12:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

10:30 ...............................Rules of Engagement

12:55.............................. The Only Way is Essex

14:00 ...............Motorway Cops

11:00............................... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

13:40.............................. The Only Way is Essex 14:25 ....................... You’ve Been Framed! Funniest 100 15:25....................... Britain’s Got More Talent 16:25.....Babe 2: Pig in the City 18:15 ...............About a Boy 20:15.................... Mr Bean’s Holiday 22:00 ...........Celebrity Juice

22:45..............................Live International Boxing

22:50 ........... Crazy Beaches

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

06:00 ..............Home Shopping

06:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:10 ...............................Red Bull X-Fighters 2013

07:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

23:20 ................... Educating Joey Essex

12:40....................... Traffic Cops 13:20....................... Traffic Cops 15:00 ....................Stansted: The Inside Story 16:00.....................Stansted: The Inside Story 17:00 ...................Wildest Africa 18:00 ............ Wildest Africa 19:00 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 20:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

11:00 ...............................Rules of Engagement 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00................ Rude(Ish) Tube 16:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 17:00..................... 2 Broke Girls 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00....................How I Met Your Mother

21:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story

20:00............ The Tomorrow People

22:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story

21:00 ................ Lake Placid 22:40 ................. Rude Tube

23:00................. Emergency Bikers

23:45........................ The Big Bang Theory

06:00............. Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets

06:00............... Sporting Greats

07:00........................ Iconoclasts

07:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview

06:30 ............................. Ringside

08:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00 .............................. Seinfeld

09:00............................. Top Gear

08:30.............................. Seinfeld

10:00 ...................... Fat Families: Second Helpings

10:00.............. Storage Hunters

09:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

11:00.... Rocket City Rednecks

10:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00 .............. Game Changers

14:00 ............My Kitchen Rules

12:00 ............................. Flip Men

10:00 ....................... Soccer A.M.

15:00 ................. America’s Next Top Model

13:00 .............................Top Gear

11:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

12:00 .............................. Football

15:00 ..............Storage Hunters

12:00............................. Mankind

16:00 ........Nothing to Declare

16:00 ....Rocket City Rednecks

13:00............................. Mankind

14:30 .................Saturday Night Football: Team Talk

18:30.......................Nothing to Declare

17:00 .............................Top Gear

14:00............................ The Pitch

18:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

15:00 .......................Blue Bloods

19:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:30.... Nothing to Declare

19:00 ........Storage Hunters

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

20:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

19:30 ........Storage Hunters

18:00.......... Without a Trace

20:00........................... QI XL

21:00.................Elementary

19:00 ......... Without a Trace

21:00 ...... Gavin and Stacey

22:00...............The Blacklist

20:00 ........................ Smash

23:00 ..........Mock the Week

22:00 .......... Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

23:00.....................Hannibal

21:00 ...........True Detective

23:40 ...........................QI XL

22:20 .................City of God

23:30 ......... Fl 72 Highlights

09:00..............Motorway Patrol 09:30..............Motorway Patrol

16:00 .......................Blue Bloods

08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club

15:00................... Gillette Soccer Saturday 17:00 ................... Ford Saturday Night Football Live 20:00 .......... Saturday Night Football: Game of the Day

25 CW

W C ch o i ce Don’t Panic! The Dad’s Army Story BBC2, 18:40

Victoria Wood presents the true story behind Britain’s timeless comedy. Includes footage of the cast on location and incredible personal tales about the making of the series. Was Arthur Lowe really just like Captain Mainwaring? Why did the Warden always end up in the water?

Longmire Channel 5, 18:50

Crime drama series, based on the mystery novel series by Craig Johnson, about a widowed sheriff who finds purpose in his job with the help of his deputies and his daughter. Still struggling to come to terms with his wife’s death after a year, Sheriff Longmire investigates a murder with links to a mobile brothel and a missing girl.

Live Boxing Channel 5, 21:30

The Maxi Nutrition Knockout. Live boxing coverage. In the second round of quarter finals at Sheffield, Danny McIntosh from Norwich takes on Travis Dickinson from Preston, then Matty Clarkson fights Lee Duncan. Presented by Mark Pougatch with commentary by Dave Farrar, Al Bernstein and Richie Woodhall.


CW 26

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C ch o i ce

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Sunday Sunday Sun 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ............Angels One Five

07:25 ............Match of the Day

07:35 ........................ Mountain

09:00 .......................The Andrew Marr Show

08:35 ..................... Countryfile

10:00 ................................The Big Questions 11:00 ................Sunday Politics 12:15 ....................MOTD2 Extra

09:30........................ Gardeners’ World 10:00 ...........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

13:00 ..........................BBC News

11:30................. James Martin: Home Comforts

13:15 ............... The Sport Relief Games Show

12:15................. Michel Roux’s Service

15:15 .............. Alex Against the Rock for Sport Relief

13:15 ................. Michel Roux’s Service

15:45 ......Deadly on a Mission: Pole to Pole

14:15 ................. I Know Where I’m Going

16:15.............................Escape to the Country

14:45................. I Know Where I’m Going

Louis Theroux’s LA Stories

16:45 ................Songs of Praise

16:15.............................. Flog It!

BBC2, 21.00

17:20 ............................ Pointless

17:00 ................Collectaholics

18:05.................. Blandings

18:00 .................. The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip

Los Angeles is home to more than a quarter of a million dogs from the pampered pooches of Beverley Hills to the pit bull terriers of the projects. In the first programme of his new series, Louis Theroux’s LA Stories, Louis enters the bizarre world of LA’s dogs, meeting the characters whose lives revolve around the city’s huge canine population. In the toughest neighbourhoods of South LA he has a terrifying encounter with a ‘weaponised’ dog, trained to attack on command, and goes on patrol with Dogman, whose mission is to rescue some of the thousands of stray and feral pit bulls roaming the streets. At the city’s biggest animal shelter, Louis meets the hard-pressed staff whose heart-breaking job includes euthanising thousands of unwanted dogs every year. But he also encounters the middle-class Americans who adopt some of these delinquent dogs and the colourful dog training gurus who claim to be able to take the ghetto out of the dog once the dog has been rescued from the streets.

Catchphrase ITV1, 19.00 Stephen Mulhern asks contestants and audiences to ‘say what they see’ as he hosts the second series of the much-loved game show. The twelve-part series, which includes three celebrity specials, will see three contestants go head-to-head each week in a bid to identify hidden, familiar phrases represented by state of the art 3D graphic animations. The pressure is on as one contestant is eliminated from the competition after the first round, leaving the other two to battle it out in a bid to reach the final. Throughout the show, contestants will bank cash in exchange for Catchphrases they guess correctly ahead of their opponents, with the opportunity to scoop big money should they uncover the coveted bonus Catchphrase. One contestant will then face the new Super Catchphrase round for the chance to win a massive £50,000.

18:35................... BBC News 18:50............................. BBC London News 19:00................. Countryfile 20:00 .....................Antiques Roadshow 21:00......... The Musketeers 22:00................... BBC News 22:15..... BBC London News 22:25.... Match of the Day 2 23:25................ Butterfly on a Wheel

19:00 ..............Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom 20:00 .......... Lambing Live: Farming Families 21:00.....Louis Theroux’s CW LA Stories choice 22:00 ........Mock the Week 22:30............. Line of Duty 23:30........... London River

06:00............................ Dino Dan 06:25.....Matt Hatter Chronicles 06:45 ............................ Canimals 07:10 ..............Om Nom Stories 07:20 ...................................Sooty 07:30 ........................Scrambled! 07:35.....Almost Naked Animals 07:55 .................... Horrid Henry 08:20 .......................... Victorious 08:55 ........................Scrambled! 09:25 ............................ITV News 09:30 ......... Murder, She Wrote 10:30 .....Dickinson’s Real Deal 11:25 ............................ITV News 11:35 .......The Unforgettable... 12:05 ..............Agatha Christie’s Marple 14:00 ................... The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 14:25....................All Star Family Fortunes 15:10................. River Monsters 16:15..................... The Spy Who Loved Me 18:35 ...... ITV News London 19:00..........Catchphrase CWce ch oi 20:00 ............. Harry’s South Pole Heroes 21:00............... Mr Selfridge 22:00.................... ITV News 22:15............ You Saw Them Here First


www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

nday Sunday Sunday 23rd March 06:10 ........................ The Hoobs 06:35 ........................ The Hoobs 07:00 ...............Freesports on 4 07:30 ..........Challenge Wanaka Triathlon 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 .................................Frasier 09:00 .................................Frasier 09:30 ................Sunday Brunch 12:35 .................... Secret Eaters 13:35..... The Big Bang Theory 14:05 .....The Big Bang Theory 14:35 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 15:05 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 15:35 .................. The Simpsons 16:35 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:40 ..............Channel 4 News 18:10 ..............................Rio 20:00............The Million CW Pound Necklace: choice Inside Boodles 21:00 ................ The Tourist 22:55....................... Dogma

06:00......... The Hour of Power 07:00..................................... Glee 09:00 ..........Football’s Funniest Moments 10:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 11:00............ WWE Experience 12:00................................ Sinbad 13:00 ...................Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 14:00........................... Futurama 15:00 ................Modern Family 17:30................... The Simpsons 19:00.......... Modern Family 19:30 ..............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 20:00............ The Simpsons 21:00............. Hawaii Five-0 22:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00...Miami SWAT/Border Invasion USA

06:00..................... Children’s TV 08:15.......... The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 08:25.......... Angelina Ballerina 08:40 ...................... Rupert Bear 08:50.................................. Toby’s Travelling Circus 09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15.........................Jelly Jamm 09:30........................... LazyTown 10:00 ................Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10:35 .................................Access 10:50 ................ Arthur and The Invisibles 12:30 ....................Hoodwinked 14:00 .................................. Zoom 15:40...................... The Witches 17:25............ 5 News Weekend 17:40 ............The Great Escape

06:00......................... Beauty and the Geek 06:45 ................... The Hot Desk 06:55......................... Emmerdale Omnibus 09:50 ............Coronation Street Omnibus 12:10 ....................... Britain’s Got More Talent 13:15 .....................The Best Ever You’ve Been Framed 14:15................................. Honey 16:10 ....................Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 17:40 .....................The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 19:50...................... Whip it! 22:00 ..................... The Only Way is Essex The series follows the lives, loves and scandals of a group of reallife Essex guys and girls, set against a backdrop of nail bars, nightclubs, boutiques and salons.

21:00.......The First Great CW Escape choice 22:50 ...............Party Wright Around the World 22:00....... The Great Escape 23:50 ....... The Big Reunion 23:00........ A Bridge Too Far

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 06:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue 07:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 09:00......Sports Women Week 09:30.....................The Real A&E 11:00 ................. America’s Next Top Model 12:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 13:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E 16:00........ Nothing to Declare 16:30 ........Nothing to Declare 17:00 ........Nothing to Declare 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 18:30.... Nothing to Declare 20:00............... Chicago Fire 21:00..............Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 22:00 ...................Ladyboys 23:00 ...............Doll and Em 23:30......... Grey’s Anatomy

07:00 ...............................Carpool 07:10..............................Top Gear 09:00 ................... Total Wipeout Australia 10:00 ..............Storage Hunters 11:00 .......................................... QI 11:40 .................Have I Got a Bit More News for You 12:20 .......................................... QI 13:00 .............................Top Gear 15:00 ..........Dynamo: Magician Impossible 16:00 ..............Storage Hunters 17:00............................. Top Gear 18:00 ................................QI 18:40 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 19:20 ................................QI 20:00 ...........................QI XL 21:00........ Russell Howard’s Good News Extra

06:10 ...................... Doctor Who

06:00 .......... Make it or Break it

07:00 ...................... Doctor Who

06:50 ......................... Ugly Betty

08:30 .......Hollywood Treasure

07:35 ........................... Charmed

09:00 .......Hollywood Treasure

08:30........................... How I Met Your Mother

09:30 .......Hollywood Treasure 10:00....... Hollywood Treasure 10:30...................... Doctor Who 11:30...................... Doctor Who 12:30...................... Doctor Who 14:00 .............. The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook

09:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 10:00 .......Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:35 ............................ Revenge 13:35 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 14:00................ Rude(Ish) Tube

14:40 .............. The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook

14:30..................... 2 Broke Girls

16:00 ...................Wildest Africa

16:30 ..................................... Troy

17:00 ...................Wildest Africa

17:35 .......Brooklyn Nine-Nine

18:00......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities

18:05........................ The Big Bang Theory

18:30 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities

20:00 ..........Doctor Dolittle

19:00 ............... Who Do You Think You Are?

15:30 .. The Tomorrow People

21:40 ....................... The Big Bang Theory

21:00 ......... Motorway Cops

22:10 .......... How I Met Your Mother

22:00..... Emergency Bikers

22:40...... My Mad Fat Diary

23:00................ Who Do You Think You Are?

23:45....................... Rules of Engagement

06:00 ....................The Mortified Sessions

06:00 ................... Football Gold 06:15 ................... Football Gold

07:00 .............................. Seinfeld 08:00 .........Friday Night Lights 09:00 ......................... The British 11:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 12:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 13:00 ............................The Pitch 14:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 15:00....................... Blue Bloods 16:00 .......................Blue Bloods 17:00 ............... Without a Trace 18:00.......... Without a Trace 20:00 ................. The British 21:00....... Game of Thrones 23:30............... Funny or Die Presents

W C ch o i ce

The Million Pound Necklace: Inside Boodles Channel 4, 20:00

This one-off film delves into the world of one of Britain’s most exclusive jewellers, Boodles, the family-run business that has been going for over 200 years. This documentary follows the firm as it creates its most valuable collection of jewellery to date. Boodles operates in a world of celebrity clients and super-wealthy diamond connoisseurs. Their jewellery is as likely to be seen on the red carpet as at exclusive high society balls. The ambition is for their product to be perfectly pitched and the service flawless. But Boodles want to aim even higher - and it’s up to company director Jody Wainwright to get them there.

The First Great Escape Channel 5, 21:00

07:30 .............................. Seinfeld

10:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

27 CW

06:30 .................Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 08:00 .............. Game Changers 09:00 ........................The Sunday Supplement 10:30............. Goals on Sunday 12:30 .........Ford Super Sunday 15:30......... Ford Super Sunday 18:30...................... Football 19:30 ..................... Football 22:15 ............. Ford Football Special 23:45 ............. Spanish Gold

Documentary. The POW escape from Stalag Luft III in 1944 is one of the most famous events of World War II, but few people know that a first Great Escape preceded it in 1918. This documentary uses original accounts and diaries to tell the story of break out from the notorious Holzminden camp in Hanover by 29 British prisoners of war.


CW 28

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Monday Monday Mon 06:00............................ Breakfast

06:00 ...............This is BBC Two

06:00........................... Daybreak

09:15 .....................Heir Hunters

06:20 ...................Homes Under the Hammer

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

10:00.................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 .................. Rip Off Britain 11:45 .......................... Watchdog Test House 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30 ......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors

07:20 ..........................Mountain 08:20 ...............................Wanted Down Under

10:30.................... This Morning

09:05...... The Restaurant Man

11:30.................... This Morning

10:05 ......................Great British Railway Journeys

12:30.................. Loose Women

10:35 ....................................Click 11:00......................... BBC News

14:15 ......................... Perfection

11:30............ BBC World News

15:00 ............................Escape to the Country

12:00............ The Daily Politics 13:00 .................................. Coast

15:45 ................ More Creatures Great and Small

13:45 .... The Nature of Britain

16:15 ................................. Flog it! Trade Secrets

15:25 ............................Bergerac

17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show

14:35 ......... Cagney and Lacey 16:15 ..........................‘Allo, ‘Allo! 16:45.......................... ‘Allo, ‘Allo! 17:15..... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ..........Revenge of the Egghead

19:30..............Bang Goes CoiWce 18:30 .................. The Voice: the Theory ch Louder on Two 20:00 ................ EastEnders

20:30 ..................Panorama 21:00 ............................. Silk 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News

19:00..................... Antiques Road Trip 20:00 ..................University Challenge 20:30......Mary Berry Cooks

22:35 ............... The Michael McIntyre Chat Show

21:00 ..... The Plantagenets

23:20 ..............Late Kick Off

23:20 ......... Louis Theroux’s LA Stories

23:50 ..... Live at the Apollo

W C ch o i ce

09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

22:00........................Rev

CW ch oi ce

22:30 ................ Newsnight

11:25 ............................ITV News

13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00............. Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00.....................Tipping Point 17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00...... ITV News London 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30 .................Coronation Street 20:00....................I Never CW Knew That choice About Britain 20:30 .................Coronation Street 21:00 ..............The Widower 22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35 ............... The Agenda 23:10 .................. The Secret Mediterranean with Trevor McDonald

Rev BBC2, 22.00 Tom Hollander and Olivia Colman, Rev series 3 Rev. returns with a bang as Adam’s wife Alex gives birth to their daughter in dramatic circumstances. Adam teams up with a local Imam (Kayvan Novak) to help improve the community – but is his new colleague friend or foe? Plus the new Area Dean and Diocesan Secretary (Joanna Scanlan and Vicki Pepperdine) clearly have it in for St Saviour’s – can Adam save his church from their Parish Reorganisation plans?


www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

nday Monday Monday 24th March 06:00 ...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:35 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ..........A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 11:00........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12:05......................... Coach Trip 12:35.......... River Cottage Veg 13:00 .............. The Man Behind the Gun 14:40....................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30.....................Four in a Bed 17:00...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:55....... The Political Slot 20:00................. Dispatches 20:30............. Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 21:00.......... One Born Every Minute 22:00......... 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:50................. Gogglebox

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:10 ...................... Robin Hood

08:35 .................................. Toby’s Travelling Circus

06:25............Coronation Street

08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas

07:25..... You’ve Been Framed!

07:00 ....................Nick Knowles’ Original Features

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

08:00...................... Doctor Who

09:00........................ Tickety Toc

09:00 ................................The Bill

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

08:30...................... Dinner Date

11:00............Emergency Bikers

11:10..........Police Interceptors

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

12:00 ...........................Babylon 5

10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

14:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

11:30.................. The Millionaire Matchmaker

15:00.....................Nick Knowles’ Original Features

12:30........................ Emmerdale

16:00 ...................... Doctor Who

13:00 ...........Coronation Street

17:00 ...........................Babylon 5

13:30........... Coronation Street

18:00................ Traffic Cops

14:00......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

19:00......... Masterchef New Zealand

16:10 .............................. The Real Housewives of New Jersey

20:00......... Motorway Cops

06:00 ......................So You Think You’re Safe? 07:00 ....................... Airline USA 08:00................ Modern Family 09:00........................... Futurama 10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 12:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00............... All Aboard: East Coast Trains 15:00.......................... Inside RAF Brize Norton 16:00 ...........................Futurama 16:30 ...........................Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 20:30 ..........Modern Family 21:00 ................ Moone Boy 21:30 .............Moone Boy 2: Behind the Scenes 22:00 ..........................Stella

12:10......... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .................... Benidorm ER 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 .................. Ties That Bind 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30.............Newstalk Live 19:00...... The Gadget Show 20:00.... Police Interceptors 21:00 ............ My Spiral Into Debt Hell

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 ............... Dinner Date

13:00....................... Traffic Cops

21:00 .................... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 22:00........... Derren Brown: Trick or Treat

06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00................ Rude(Ish) Tube 09:00............. Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30................ Happy Endings 11:00........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30.......................... Hollyoaks 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .............................New Girl 16:30 ................Happy Endings 17:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00 ....................... The Big Bang Theory 19:00................... Hollyoaks 19:30................... How I Met Your Mother 20:00..................... Brooklyn Nine-Nine 20:30.......... Rude(Ish) Tube 21:00..................... Revenge

22:00........ Slaughter on the Sunset Strip

19:00 ...You’ve Been Framed!

23:00 ...........The CSI Movie: Bang-Bang

21:00........................... Mom 22:00........... American Pie 2

23:00...... Emergency Bikers

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:00 ................... Radical Highs

06:00 .............Thirtysomething

06:30 ........Nothing to Declare

07:15 .........................Bush Pilots

07:00........................Blue Bloods

08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:00 .......................Man v Food

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

10:00 .............Motorway Patrol

09:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

10:30 .............Motorway Patrol

11:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

10:00....................... Blue Bloods

11:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

12:00 .......................Man v Food

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:00 .............................Top Gear

12:00 ............... Without a Trace

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

14:00 .............................Top Gear

13:00.................................. House

15:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

14:00.................................. House

16:00 .......................Man v Food

15:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

17:00 .............................Top Gear

16:00................ Without a Trace

17:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

19:00 .................Rocket City Rednecks

17:00....................... Blue Bloods

16:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

20:00 ...........................QI XL

18:00 .........................House

16:30 .............. Game Changers

18:30 ... Nothing to Declare

21:00 ....Would I Lie to You?

19:00......................... House

20:00 .........................Bones

21:40 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

17:30 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits

15:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:00 ........................Puppy SOS 16:30........................ Puppy SOS

21:00 ......... Criminal Minds 22:00.........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00..........................Bones

20:00... Two and a Half Men

22:35 ........Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 23:35............................QI XL

22:30 ........... Derren Brown: Trick or Treat

20:00... Friday Night Lights

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 .................... Ford Football Special 10:30 ................................ La Liga 11:30 ....................Spanish Gold 11:45 ....................Spanish Gold 12:00................................ La Liga 13:00 .....Ford Football Special 14:30 ................................ La Liga 15:30 ....................Spanish Gold

21:00.............. God Save the Queens

18:30 ........................... FL72

22:00 ............................Girls 22:35........... True Detective

22:00 .........The Footballer’s Football Show

23:55............... Nurse Jackie

23:00 ........................... FL72

19:30 ..................... Football

29 CW

W C ch o i ce I Never Knew That About Britain ITV1, 20.00

Paul Martin reveals the surprising beginnings of the traditional tiered Wedding cake. Suzannah Lipscomb visits a graveyard for the iconic British red phone box, and Steve Mould reveals how a man from Ditherington changed the skylines of cities across the globe.

Bang Goes the Theory BBC1, 19:30

Series presenting the science behind the headlines, and looking at the issues that have a real impact on all our lives. With the technology we use every day beginning to share, store and analyse our data, the team look at how the use of our information now known as big data will change the world in ways unimaginable. Liz Bonnin looks at how big data monitors Rolls Royce jet engines dozens of times a second whe ever they are in the world, and how that same system of analytics can automatically detect secondary brain injury in intensive care units. Jem Stansfield creates a lowtech computer and storage system with hacksaw blades and magnets.


CW 30

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Tuesday 06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15..................... Heir Hunters 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00.................. Rip Off Britain 11:45 .......................... Watchdog Test House 12:15.................... Bargain Hunt 13:00........... BBC News at One 13:30......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00 ............................Escape to the Country 15:45 ................ More Creatures Great and Small 16:15................................. Flog it! Trade Secrets 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00 ........ BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00............The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders 20:00 ..................Holby City 21:00................Shetland

CW

ch oi ce

22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten

22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35 ......... Keeping Britain Safe 24/7 23:35......... Swansea: Living on the Streets

Tuesday

06:25 ................. Homes Under the Hammer 07:25........................ Mountain 08:20 ..Wanted Down Under 09:05 .................... Great British Garden Revival 10:05 .................... Great British Railway Journeys 10:35 .........................HARDtalk 11:00 ........................BBC News 12:00........... The Daily Politics 13:00 .........................The Super League Show 13:45................................. Coast 13:55....... South Africa Walks 14:25 ................ Himalaya with Michael Palin 15:25 ....... Cagney and Lacey 16:15..........................Allo, 窶連llo! 17:15 ....Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ............... Revenge of the Egghead 18:30 ................. The Voice: Louder on Two 19:00 . Antiques Road Trip 20:00 ...........Lambing Live 21:00...... The Great British Sewing Bee 22:00 .......................Savion Glover - Happy Feet 22:30 ............... Newsnight 23:20 ........... A Very British Renaissance

06:00 ........................... Daybreak 08:30 ..............................Lorraine 09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30..................... This Morning 11:25............................ ITV News 11:30 .................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00 .............Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ....................Tipping Point 17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00..................... ITV News London 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30 .......... River Monsters 20:00................... Midsomer Murders 22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35.......Didier Drogba: CW Sports choice Life Stories 23:35..............The Crocodile Hunter Diaries

T


www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Tuesday 06:00...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:35 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ..........A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 11:00 ........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12:00 .............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 .........................Coach Trip 12:35 ........ River Cottage Bites 12:50................... On the Fiddle 14:40....................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ....................Four in a Bed 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:55 .......The Political Slot 20:00 .......... Kirstie’s Best of Both Worlds 21:00 ........ Food Prices: The Shocking Truth 22:00............... The Missing

Tuesday

25th

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:10 ...................... Robin Hood

08:35 .................................. Toby’s Travelling Circus

06:25 ...........Coronation Street

07:00 ...................... Robin Hood

07:25..... You’ve Been Framed!

08:00...................... Doctor Who

08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas

09:00 ................................The Bill

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

11:00........... Emergency Bikers

11:10......... Police Interceptors 12:10......... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .......The Hotel Inspector 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 .......Back to You and Me 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30....................... Neighbours 18:00........ Home and Away 18:30............ Newstalk Live 19:00....... Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 20:00............. Benidorm ER 21:00............ The Mentalist 22:00.......... Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30........................ Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 14:00.. The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey 17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00............... Dinner Date 19:00 ......................... You’ve Been Framed! 20:00....................... Two and a Half Men 21:00.. The Vampire Diaries 22:00 ...........Celebrity Juice

March

10:00.................................The Bill 12:00........................... Babylon 5 13:00....................... Traffic Cops 14:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ....................Nick Knowles’ Original Features 16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00................ Traffic Cops 19:00......... Masterchef New Zealand 20:00 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 20:30.......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 21:00............... Madagascar 22:00 ..............South Pacific

23:00 ............Body of Proof

22:50 ..............American Pie Presents Band Camp

23:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:00 ................... Radical Highs

06:00 .............Thirtysomething

07:15 .........................Bush Pilots

07:00....................... Airline USA

08:00 ................................. RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

08:00 ....Rocket City Rednecks

08:00 ................Modern Family

10:00 .............Motorway Patrol

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00 ...........................Futurama

11:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

11:00....................... Traffic Cops

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

10:00....................... Blue Bloods

12:00.... Rocket City Rednecks

11:00................... Stargate SG-1

13:00 .............................Top Gear

12:00................ Without a Trace

14:00 .............................Top Gear

13:00 ..................................House

15:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

16:00 ....Rocket City Rednecks

16:00 ............... Without a Trace

17:00 .............................Top Gear

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

18:00..................... Top Gear

18:00..........................House

19:00 ................Man v Food

19:00 .........................House

20:00 ........Storage Hunters

20:00.......................... David Attenborough’s Micro Monsters

06:00 ......................So You Think You’re Safe?

12:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ............... All Aboard: East Coast Trains

14:00................ Criminal Minds

15:00 ..........................Inside RAF Brize Norton

16:00 ........................Puppy SOS

16:00 ...........................Futurama

17:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

17:00 .................. The Simpsons

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

17:30 ................Modern Family

18:30.... Nothing to Declare

18:30 ............The Simpsons

20:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules

19:00 ............The Simpsons

21:00 ..................Elementar

20:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0

22:00 ...............Doll and Em

21:00 ..... Never Left Britain

22:30 .........................Bones

22:00 ................ The Smoke

23:30 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

23:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

W C ch o i ce

15:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:30 ........................Puppy SOS

21:00........................... QI XL 22:00 ............ Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums

21:00 ........................ Awake

23:00.......... Mock the Week

22:00 ............The Following

23:40 .......... Never Mind the Buzzcocks

23:00 .................. Spartacus: Vengeance

06:00 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25.................................. 90210 07:10......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00 .............Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ................Happy Endings 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ...............................Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .............................New Girl 16:30................ Happy Endings 17:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 .......... How I Met Your Mother 20:00........................ Grease 22:15 ........... Bodyshockers

06:00................. Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 .............................. Football 10:00 ............... The Footballer’s Football Show 11:00.............................. Football 12:00 .....................................FL72 13:00 ................SPFL Round Up 13:30 ............... The Footballer’s Football Show 14:30 .............................. Football 15:30 .....................................FL72 16:30 .....................Football Asia 17:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 18:00 ...... Revista de la Liga 19:00...................... Football 22:00..... Football’s Greatest Teams: Man Utd 22:30 ...... Revista de la Liga 23:30.............. Football Asia

31 CW

W C ch o i ce Shetland BBC1, 21.00

In the second twopart story of BBC One’s compelling drama, an old acquaintance of Perez’s dies in a suspicious car accident on Shetland and he questions whether his journalist friend uncovered a story that cost him his life. When journalist Jerry Markham dies in a car accident, Perez questions whether the circumstances are suspicious. Procurator Fiscal Rhona Kelly calls in forensic scientist Willow Reeves to ensure an objective view of the case. It’s immediately clear that Willow is a force to be reckoned with, refusing to be intimidated by Perez into making a hasty decision about the case involving his friend. As they await the forensic results from Reeves, Perez and his team investigate the reasons for Jerry’s recent return to Shetland. Perez discovers Jerry was chasing a story around the controversial planning permission being sought for a new gas pipeline on the island. He also finds out that Jerry had an ill-fated relationship with local girl Evie Watt. When Perez speaks to Evie, he discovers that, although she is still deeply affected by her past relationship with Jerry, she is now set to marry islander John Henderson.

Didier Drogba: Sports Life Stories ITV1, 22.35

Footballer Didier Drogba talks to Ned Boulting about his sporting life - from signing for Chelsea for a then-record £24 million to winning the Champions League and his efforts to bring peace to his war-torn home country, Ivory Coast. Featuring contributions from colleagues, friends and family, including his former manager Jose Mourinho, this programme provides a close view into what drives Didier to succeed. After moving from Ivory Coast to France as a youngster he was inspired by the progress of his uncle Michel, a professional footballer in the French league: “He was the one who gave me the [passion] for football. Being with him going to the training session, watching the joy of them scoring goals I don’t know and running everywhere, it just gave me the passion for it.” After turning professional at Le Mans, the striker moved on to Guingamp and then to Marseille, helping the club to the 2004 UEFA Cup Final. When Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea came in to sign him, he says was so settled at the French club he didn’t actually want to leave: “I’m not ready to move, I don’t want to move. It’s not just because it was Chelsea, if any other team came, I would have had the same reaction, I was very emotional, and It was like I started something with Marseille and I didn’t even finish it. I wanted to win the league with Marseille, I wanted to score a lot of goals, I wanted to break records, really wanted to make history with the club. So for me it was like it was stopping me in my progress. So it was a bit frustrating. It was more frustration because I had to leave, and also both clubs agreed, when I was like, ‘No I don’t want to go.’ That is football.”


CW 32

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Wednesday

Wednes

06:15 ................. Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer

07:15 ........................ Mountain

09:25 .. The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:15 ..Wanted Down Under

11:00.................. Rip Off Britain

09:00 ............................Horizon

10:30..................... This Morning

11:45 .......................... Watchdog Test House

10:00 .............Food and Drink

06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .....................Heir Hunters

12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00........... BBC News at One 13:30......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00 ............................Escape to the Country 15:45 ................ More Creatures Great and Small

10:30 .......................... See Hear 11:00........................ BBC News 11:30.......... The Daily Politics 13:00................................. Coast 13:05....... South Africa Walks 13:35... The Nature of Britain 14:25 ................ Himalaya with Michael Palin 15:25........ Cagney and Lacey

16:15 ................................. Flog it! Trade Secrets

16:15......................... ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15 ............................ Pointless

17:55 ..................Party Political Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats

18:00 ........ BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show 20:00..... Holiday Hit Squad 21:00.................MasterChef 22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25..... BBC London News 22:35.................. A Question of Sport 23:05 ............... The Michael McIntyre Chat Show 23:50................... Blandings

17:15 ....Antiques Roadshow

18:00 ............... Revenge of the Egghead 18:30 ................. The Voice: Louder on Two

11:25............................ ITV News 11:30.................... This Morning 12:30 .................. Loose Women 13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00............. Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00.................... Tipping Point 17:00...........................The Chase 18:00...... ITV News London 18:25............. Party Political Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 18:30..................... ITV News 19:00................ Emmerdale 19:30 ..... Coronation Street

19:00 ....Antiques Road Trip

20:00.................Big Star’s CW Little Star choice

20:00 ...........Lambing Live

21:00.... Law and Order: UK

22:00 ................ ITV News at 21:00.........The Greatest CW Ten and Weather Knight: William choice the Marshal W 22:35................Exposure Coi ch ce 22:00 ......................... W1A 23:35 ............. Harry’s South 22:30 ............... Newsnight

Big Star’s Little Star ITV1, 20.00

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

Pole Heroes

W C ch o i ce

Stephen Mulhern hosts a second series of this fun entertainment show which lifts the lid on celebrities’ lives – through the eyes of their children. Full to the brim with surprising revelations, funny anecdotes and heartwarming moments, this eight-part series will see Britain’s best-loved stars team up with their own children to win as much money as possible for charity. Household names such as: Michael Owen, Alex James, Ben Cohen, Denise Lewis, Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock, Sam Bailey, Nicky Byrne, Shane Lynch, Paula Radcliffe, Simon Gregson, Gary Lucy and Natasha Hamilton, to name but a few, will all be appearing in this new series. Giving viewers a sneak-peek into the star’s home life, they may be left redfaced as embarrassing secrets and cringe-worthy crushes potentially come to light. Will the Little Star say too much? All will be revealed… And on Big Star’s Little Star, everyone is a winner as no one goes home empty handed. All pairs take home money for their chosen charities and a very special Big Star’s Little Star trophy! Andy Culpin, Managing Director of 12 Yard, said: “We’re delighted that Big Star’s Little Star proved so popular on its first outing that it’s returning for another longer series. Stephen is a natural front man for the show and really brings the best out of our big stars and little stars.” ITV’s Director of Entertainment and Comedy, Elaine Bedell said: “Big Star’s Little Star is a really fun and charming format that worked extremely well for us mid week, and we’re delighted to be bringing it back for a second series.” Stephen Mulhern said: “I am so excited to be coming back with a second series of Big Star’s Little Star on ITV. We have some fantastic celebrities and their children taking part this year. There are so many hilarious moments that will have everyone in stitches and will prove two things: Kids absorb everything and our celebrities are very good sports!”


www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

sday

Wednesday

06:00 ...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:35 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00...........A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 11:00 ........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12:00 .............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 .........................Coach Trip 12:30 .......... River Cottage Veg 13:00 ............................Gun Fury 14:40 ...................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ....................Four in a Bed 17:00...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:55 .......The Political Slot 20:00............. Secret Eaters 21:00.... Dead Famous DNA 22:00................. First Dates 23:00 ............ Embarrassing Bodies

06:00..................... Children’s TV 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:10 .........Police Interceptors 12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15.......... The Gadget Show 13:15..............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ................... Chinese Food in Minutes 15:20 ..................Murder on the 13th Floor 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00 ................. Dangerous Drivers’ School 20:00.............. Killing Spree: Suffolk Strangler 21:00 ........................... NCIS 22:00..........................Castle 23:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:55.......... Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

26th

06:00 ........................Emmerdale 06:30 ....................... Britain’s Got More Talent 07:25......You’ve Been Framed! 07:45......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30 ...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:00 ....................... Britain’s Got More Talent 14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey 17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 ............... Dinner Date 19:00 ...You’ve Been Framed! 20:00... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ...............Party Wright Around the World 22:00 ..................... The Only Way is Essex 22:50 ........The Big Reunion

March

06:10 ...................... Robin Hood 07:00 ...................... Robin Hood 08:00 ...................... Doctor Who 09:00 ................................The Bill 10:00 ................................The Bill 11:00........... Emergency Bikers 12:00........................... Babylon 5 13:00....................... Traffic Cops 14:00.............................. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00................... Nick Knowles’ Original Features 16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00 ................ Traffic Cops 19:00 ........ Masterchef New Zealand 20:00 ................ Beauty and the Beast 21:00 ........................ Grimm 22:00................ Trishna and Krishna: The Miracle Separation 23:00...... Emergency Bikers

06:00........................... Switched 06:25.................................. 90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00............. Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ................Happy Endings 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .............................New Girl 16:30 ................Happy Endings 17:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:30 ....................... The Big Bang Theory 21:00............ The Tomorrow People 22:00.................. Rude Tube

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:15..........................Bush Pilots

06:00............. Thirtysomething

08:00 .......................Man v Food

07:00....................... Blue Bloods

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans

07:00 ....................... Airline USA

08:00.................. RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:30 ....................... Airline USA

10:00............. Motorway Patrol

09:00 ..............Storage Hunters

10:00.................... Spanish Gold

08:00 ................Modern Family

10:30 .............Motorway Patrol

10:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00............................. Star Trek: Enterprise

11:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

11:00............ Revista de la Liga

09:00 ...........................Futurama

11:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods

12:00 .....Ford Football Special

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

12:00 .......................Man v Food 13:00 ..............Storage Hunters

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

13:00............ Revista de la Liga

12:00 ............... Without a Trace

14:00 ............... The Footballer’s Football Show

06:00 ......................So You Think You’re Safe?

12:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ............... All Aboard: East Coast Trains 15:00.......................... Inside RAF Brize Norton 16:00............................Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:30............ The Simpsons 20:00 ........... Fantastic Four

13:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00................ Criminal Minds 15:00................ Criminal Minds 16:00 ........................Puppy SOS 17:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 20:00 .............. Chicago Fire 21:00 .........................Bones

22:05 ..............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

22:00 ........ Grey’s Anatomy

23:05 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:30......................... Bones

23:00 ...............Doll and Em

14:00 .............................Top Gear 15:00 ....................... Traffic Cops 16:00 .......................Man v Food 17:00 ..............Storage Hunters 18:00..................... Top Gear 19:00........................... QI XL 20:00 ............ Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums 21:00.......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

13:00 ..................................House 14:00.................................. House 15:00............................. Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00......................... House 19:00......................... House 20:00..................... Mankind

09:00 .....Ford Football Special

15:00 ....................Super League Backchat 15:30 ............ Revista de la Liga 16:30 .....Ford Football Special 17:30..................... Football Asia 18:00................ Boots ‘n’ All 19:00.... Football’s Greatest: Liverpool 19:30 ..................... Football

22:00 ............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish

21:00 ................The Borgias 22:05 ...........True Detective

22:15............. Ford Football Special

23:00...........Mock the Week

23:25 ................. True Blood

23:15............. Football Gold

33 CW

W C ch o i ce

Exposure: Inside the Diplomatic Bag ITV1, 22.35

Exposure investigates the privileged world of diplomatic workers, revealing how some are abusing their special status. Reporter Mark Williams-Thomas goes undercover to investigate the extraordinary claims of a member of embassy staff who says he is able to use his position to commit crime and Exposure hears how some diplomatic bags, which cannot be searched, are being used to smuggle drugs and other items illicitly over borders.

The Greatest Knight: William the Marshal BBC2, 21:00

Documentary about the adventures, life and times of William Marshal, the world’s greatest knight. Dr Thomas Asbridge retraces the career of the English soldier and statesman who served some of Christendom’s greatest leaders, from Eleanor of Aquitaine to Richard the Lionheart. Marshal fought in battles across Europe, survived court intrigue and exile, put his seal to the Magna Carta and proved to be the best friend a king could have, remaining loyal to those he served through disaster and victory.


CW 34

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TV Guide

W C ch o i ce

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Thursday Thursday 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ...............This is BBC Two

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

09:15 .....................Heir Hunters

06:20................... Homes Under the Hammer

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 .................. Rip Off Britain 11:45.......................... Watchdog Test House

07:20.......................... Mountain

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:20............................... Wanted Down Under

10:30.................... This Morning

09:05 ............Fake or Fortune?

11:25.............................ITV News 11:30 .................... This Morning

12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

10:05 ...........Gardeners’ World

13:00 ............BBC News at One

10:35.......................... HARDtalk

13:30 ......... BBC London News

11:00......................... BBC News

13:45 .............................. Doctors

11:30.............BBC World News

14:15......................... Perfection

12:00 ........... The Daily Politics

Celebrity Juice: The Big Reunion special

15:00............................ Escape to the Country

13:00 ..................................Coast 13:05 ........South Africa Walks

15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show

ITV2, 22.30

15:45 ................ More Creatures Great and Small

13:35.... The Nature of Britain

16:00 ....................Tipping Point

14:25.................. Himalaya with Michael Palin

17:00 ..........................The Chase

15:25 .........Cagney and Lacey 16:15 ......................... ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather

16:45.......................... ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

19:00 ................ Emmerdale

17:15............................ Antiques Roadshow

19:30 ...................... Tonight

18:00.......... Revenge of the Egghead

20:30.................. Ade at Sea

Radio One DJ Fearne Cotton goes up against the gorgeous Holly Willoughby to find out who knows the most about the week’s celebrity news. This week it’s ‘The Big Reunion Special’. Joining the panel is Ben Adams from A1, Jade Jones and Andrez Harriott from Damage, Eternal’s Easther and Vernie Bennett and super group 5th Story’s Adam Rickett, Dane Bowers, Kavana and Kenzie. Presiding over the proceedings is the inimitable and outrageous host Keith Lemon. Confirmed Guests: Ben Adams, Jade Jones, Andrez Harriott, Easther Bennett, Vernie Bennett, Adam Rickett, Dane Bowers, Kavana and Kenzie.

16:15 ................................. Flog it! Trade Secrets 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders 20:00 .................. Room 101 20:30 ................ EastEnders 21:00 ................MasterChef

The Big Reunion 2014 ITV2, 21.00 The wait is over. The six Big Reunion groups step on stage for the first time in over 10 years for a monumental one off gig. 5th Story are in chaos as Kavana walks out on the eve of the gig. Things aren’t so Pure & Simple for Girl Thing as nerves get the better of them, and Eternal get a surprise call from an old friend.

The cookery competition continues its tenth series, as the next group of six amateur cooks try to prove to judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace that they have the potential to be the tenth MasterChef champion. For their first test, the contestants are asked to cook their calling card, a practiced dish that represents who they are as a cook and showcases their talent. They have just one hour to dazzle the judges with one plate of food that shows just what they can do. After John and Gregg have gauged the skill of the cooks in the room, they must face the infamous invention test, choosing between two sealed boxes of sweet or savoury ingredients, before two amateurs are sent home and the four remaining cooks must cook an impressive menu for some special guests from the show’s past. At the end of this, John and Gregg will select two cooks to take the next step in the competition and go through to the first quarter-final.

22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:35 ...........Question Time 23:35 .................. This Week

Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages ITV1, 20.00 Training to be a nurse has changed dramatically since the early days of the NHS. Greater demands and added responsibility make it harder to qualify than ever before. At universities all over the country, a new generation of nurses is being born. From rock drummers to carpet fitters, Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages follows the diverse backgrounds and lives of trainee nurses in Birmingham and Manchester, with all the pressures, emotions and challenges they face both in training and on the wards. The series offers an insight into what it takes to become a nurse in the 21st century, uncovers the motivation behind the student nurses’ dreams and showing the challenges they face on a daily basis juggling academic study with home life and work on the wards.

18:30 .................. The Voice: Louder on Two Zoe Ball gives exclusive access to behind the scenes at The Voice UK, with exclusive performances and interviews from the finalists, coaches and presenters. Zoe is joined on the sofa by another of the superstar coaches and their semi-finalists to talk about the series so far and what can be expected from Saturday night’s show.

19:00.................... Antiques Road Trip

20:00.........Lambing Live CWce ch oi

21:00 .................Salting the Battlefield 22:30 ................ Newsnight 23:20 ..............The Greatest Knight: William the Marshal

12:30 .................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00 .............Auf Wiedersehen My Pet

18:00...... ITV News London

20:00 ................ Emmerdale 21:00........ Dangerous Dogs Suranne Jones narrates the second part of this in-depth look at the worrying increase of dog attacks in Britain. Despite our reputation as a nation of dog lovers, thousands of attacks are reported in Britain each year, including a handful of fatal incidents. What exactly constitutes a dangerous dog and where does the problem lie - is it all down to irresponsible owners or are there certain breeds which are simply more dangerous? In this episode, the programme follows police and dog wardens in London as they vigorously try to enforce the Dangerous Dogs Act, while Essex dog warden Allan is called to remove a family dog which has turned on its owner. In Birmingham, dog warden Kelly Evans works tirelessly to address one of the root causes of Britain’s dangerous dog problem - negligent and careless owners. With repeated visits to one particular owner, Kelly hopes to prevent an already tricky situation getting even more out of hand.

22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35.......... Edge of Heaven 23:35.....................The Cube


www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Thursday Thursday 27th March 06:00 ...................... Countdown 06:45.................. Will and Grace 07:35............. Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ..........A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 11:00 ........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12:05......................... Coach Trip 12:35 ........ River Cottage Bites 12:50 ....The Cross of Lorraine 14:40 ...................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ....................Four in a Bed 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:55....... The Political Slot 20:00 ...............The Hoarder Next Door 21:00..................Mayday CW ch oi ce 22:00 ......... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:05 ....................One Born Every Minute

06:00..................... Children’s TV 08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:10 .........Police Interceptors 12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .............It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45...................... Neighbours 14:15 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:10 ...............My Neighbour’s Keeper 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00........ Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00.... Police Interceptors 20:00 ...........It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 21:00.................... The Hotel Inspector 22:00 ..... Person of Interest 22:55....................... CSI: NY 23:55........................ Access

06:00...................... Robin Hood 06:00........................ Emmerdale 07:00 ...................... Robin Hood 06:25 ...........Coronation Street 06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed! 08:00...................... Doctor Who 07:25..... You’ve Been Framed! 09:00................................ The Bill 07:45 ........................ The Jeremy 10:00................................ The Bill Kyle Show USA 11:00........................ Emergency 08:30...................... Dinner Date Bikers 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives 12:00........................... Babylon 5 of Atlanta 13:00....................... Traffic Cops 11:30 ..................The Millionaire 14:00 .............................. Extreme Matchmaker Makeover: 12:30........................ Emmerdale Home Edition 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 15:00 ....................Nick Knowles’ 13:30 .....You’ve Been Framed! Original Features 14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:00...................... Doctor Who 16:10 .............................. The Real 17:00........................... Babylon 5 Housewives 18:00 ................ Traffic Cops of New Jersey 19:00 .................Masterchef 17:05 ..................The Millionaire New Zealand Matchmaker 20:00 ........................ Grimm 18:00 ............... Dinner Date 21:00 ....................... Believe 19:00....You’ve Been Framed! 22:00 ..................... Dynamo 20:00... Two and a Half Men Top Ten W 21:00....The Big Reunion Coi Greatest ch ce CoiWce 22:30........Celebrity Juice ch Moments 23:20............................ Dads 23:00........................ Believe

06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25.................................. 90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00............. Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ................Happy Endings 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00.... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .............................New Girl 16:30 ................Happy Endings 17:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30....................How I Met Your Mother 20:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 20:30........... How I Met Your Mother 21:00.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 21:30......The Inbetweeners

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00..... Ford Football Special 10:00...... Scottish Premiership 11:00............ What’s the Story? 12:00..... Ford Football Special 13:00..... Scottish Premiership 14:00 ............What’s the Story? 15:00......Ford Football Special 16:00 ................... Football Gold 16:15 ................... Football Gold 16:30 .............. Barclays Premier League World 17:00 .....................................FL72 18:00..................... Ringside 19:00 .............Super League Superstars 19:30............ Rugby League 22:15 ........................... FL72 23:15.... Super League Gold 23:45.... Super League Gold

06:00 ..............UK Border Force

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:00................... Radical Highs

06:00 .............Thirtysomething

07:00 ....................... Airline USA

06:30 ........Nothing to Declare

07:15 .........................Bush Pilots

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

08:00 ................Modern Family

08:00 .. RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:00 .......................Man v Food

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00 ...........................Futurama

10:00 .............Motorway Patrol

09:00............................. Top Gear

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

10:30 .............Motorway Patrol

10:00............................. Top Gear

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods

12:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

11:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

11:00....................... Traffic Cops

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

14:00 ............... All Aboard: East Coast Trains

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

12:00....................... Man v Food

12:00 ............... Without a Trace

13:00 .............................Top Gear

15:00 ...............Inside RAF Brize Norton

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

13:00.................................. House

14:00 .............................Top Gear

15:00 ................Criminal Minds

14:00.................................. House

16:00........................... Futurama

15:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

16:00 ........................Puppy SOS

16:30 ...........................Futurama

16:00....................... Man v Food

15:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise

17:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

17:00................... The Simpsons

17:00 .............................Top Gear

16:00 ............... Without a Trace

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

18:00..................... Top Gear

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

17:30................ Modern Family

18:30.... Nothing to Declare

18:00.......... Modern Family

19:00......... Motorway Cops

18:00......................... House

18:30............ The Simpsons

20:00............America’s Next Top Model

20:00 ...........................QI XL

19:00 .........................House

20:00......................... Arrow

21:00....... My Kitchen Rules

21:00 ........................... Suits

20:00 ................ Kingdom of Plants 2D

21:00 ................ The Smoke

22:00................Doll and Em

22:00 ..........Mock the Week

22:30.................. CSI: Miami

22:40 ............ Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums

21:00.................. Petrol Age

22:00................. Revolution

22:00................ Blue Bloods

23:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:30..........................Bones

23:40............................QI XL

23:00..................... Banshee

35 CW

W C ch o i ce Lambing Live BBC2, 20:00

Kate Humble and Adam Henson follow the life and death drama of lambing. They present the latest live from the Dykes family farm in the Scottish Borders. With nearly a thousand expectant ewes, they have got their work cut out for them. This time, Kate meets a very different kind of sheepdog, while Adam learns that there is much more to grass than meets the eye. Plus there is a chance to catch up with all the newborn lambs.

Mayday Channel 4, 21:00

The Passenger Who Landed a Plane. On an early evening last October, 77-year-old great-grandfather John Wildey was being flown home by his pilot friend after a day out in north Lincolnshire. The pilot suddenly started to feel unwell. Ten minutes later he had collapsed at the controls, 1500 feet up in the air. John had no flying experience, and it was starting to get dark.


CW 36

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Entertainment

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

The late-night genius! OVER the past months, I have reviewed a lot of the new acts which have arrived in Tenerife recently.

Some are artistes who have returned to Tenerife after some time away, while others are established acts who have re-invented their show, formed vocal groups, or even changed direction completely. The main thing is that Tenerife’s entertainment scene seems to be upping its game. There is so much talent here right now - and it’s being delivered by real pros. Last Tuesday I paid a visit to one of my regular haunts, The Stage Door. Ray the proprietor of the venue, has been supporting the entertainment scene for over two decades. You will always find a selection of the Island’s entertainers there, and a lot of work is generated in the social atmosphere of this bar, which opens in the small hours only and closes its doors at the break of dawn. For as long as I can remember,

Ray has presented live musicians in the form of a resident band. Currently, Masquerade occupy the slot on Thursdays and Saturdays, but the week is filled with solo musicians who play in various musical collaborations around the Island. Last Tuesday I had the pleasure of meeting and listening to Miguel Folgueras Ramon. This young man, at 25, is immensely talented. He came here with his parents from Madrid

when he was six and lived in Santa Cruz. His father worked in the property market and his mother is a schoolteacher. But Miguel has not followed in his parents’ footsteps. Instead, music has been his calling, and it has been just over a year since he relocated to the South to pursue his passion for music. Normally, you will find him singing lead vocals and playing acoustic rhythm guitar with Masquerade. But in the early hours of Wednes-

day morning, Miguel began his first solo gig at The Stage Door. It was just a man and a guitar, with no electronic or processed sounds, performing his set. The songs were all Miguel’s re-arrangements of classic tunes from the last 10 years, occasionally taking it further back in time, yet still keeping it fresh. His voice has a unique signature tone by the way he phrases his songs, both musically and vocally. The Stage Door is a one-of-a kind gig because of the concentration of artistes frequenting it. Sometimes, up to half the audience is made up of musicians or enter-

TRAMPS nightclub, located in the Starco area of Las Americas, had a fab 2013. This year, general manager Ollie Fisher is busy finalising his celebrity bookings for this summer and planning all the promotions for the parties. With the forthcoming Easter break, or Semana Santa as it’s known in Tenerife, Ollie and his team are preparing to receive hundreds of Spanish visitors. This, out of all the fiestas throughout the year, seems to attract the younger Spanish people. It draws them from all corners of the Island towards the South, and Tramps gets a big hit. On 19th April, the venue hosts the Angels and Demons party, with five Spanish guest DJs. Samuel Delgado, Jordan, Magec, Ruben Perez and Alfonso Alvarez will all be playing a set. Tramps would also like to welcome Sam Dawson back into the fold. Sam is now Assistant Manager. Well done Sam, and welcome back.

tainers, so the cabaret or show elements at this venue do not apply. Miguel manages to capture an audience’s attention with his song choices, yet he is modest about his ability. After Tuesday’s gig, he really wasn’t aware of how brilliant he was and how much those in the audience enjoyed his set. Ray had enough of a response to re-book him for next Wednesday night, and I have a feeling this could turn out as a regular weekly slot. Miguel is more than happy to accommodate other musicians and singers should they want to join in for an impromptu jam. So if you missed last Tuesday at The Stage Door and you are a night owl, then venture down to The Patch, Las Americas this Wednesday and you should enjoy the sounds this talented young man produces. It’s all totally live. and it really is the only place in the South of Tenerife

playing live music at that time of night. Miguel’s style is perfectly-suited also for afternoon shows or bars requiring live music early evening. As you will see from the photographs, Miguel is equally comfortable rocking out on the big stage with a band, or on the small stage with an intimate, acoustic jam. Without doubt, he is a musician to the core; he lives to play and his passion comes across in every performance. At 25 this is just the beginning for Miguel. Who knows what the future has in store for his talent and ability? One thing is for sure - it will be a long time before opportunity stops knocking on Miguel’s door. It has been a pleasure reviewing this artiste the first Spanish entertainer I have featured on this page. Miguel Folgueras Ramon is available for bookings and can be contacted on 655 159 190. Whether booking or just watching and listening, you will not be disappointed.


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Tenerife Loves Karaoke

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

37 CW

HEAT 4: Tenerife Loves Karaoke at The Premier Bar

Christina is Premier act A M AR I LLA Golf’s Premier Bar, which supplied last year’s winner, played host to Heat No.3 of Tenerife Loves Karaoke.

This venue is always among the first to book this event every year and has supported it since the beginning. The management also pride themselves on having produced two runner-ups and that winner. There is always lots of support from local residents, and everyone connected with the organisation and running of TLK always look forward to this heat. Owners Alan and Carole (also the resident compere) are the perfect hosts and their hospitality is exceptional. Nine singers registered for the contest, including 2012 runnerup Chris Hodgkinson, who again got through the first round and into the top-three sing-off places, alongside Terry Davis and Christina Parsons. The judges’ scoring was tight with only fractions separated the singers. On the panel were John Zammit, Sales Manager at Emcan Media, Bobby

sics like At Last and I Just Wanna Make Love To You from Etta James, both of which she sang at the Premier Bar and blew the audience and judges away. One judge gave her maximum points in all three point-scoring categories. Will the Premier Bar be producing

Webber, a grand finalist last year, Premier Bar compere Carole Slater and Michelle Phillips, a Tenerife resident who has attended more than 30 heats of TLK since

it began in 2011. There was a variety of singers, including relatives of previous winners - and even a staff member who bore an uncanny resemblance to Tina

Turner. We also have to mention Jo, who provided us with her usual entry of Bjork’s Oh So Quiet. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and, after all the singing and judging, host Jamie Droo, from Oasis Fm, took to the stage to announce the winner. In third place was Terry, with Chris second, and first place going to a talented young lady, Christina Parsons. She is 25 and has lived here in Tenerife for almost a year. Her big hope is that, should she win while representing the Premier Bar at June’s Grand Final, it will help her break into the entertainment business here in Tenerife. That prospect is not out of reach because she has an amazing voice, suited to early soul clas-

another winner? We will have to wait until 6th June to find out. The next heat takes place at Our Place, in Costa de Silencio, tonight (Friday) and it’s going to be packed. Jamie & The Droo Crew will be broadcasting live from 3pm on Friday afternoon.

ARTIST SONG TITLE 5 Seconds of Summer She Looks so Perfect A Great Big World Say Something Aloe Blacc The Man Avicii Addicted to You Bastille Flaws Chloe Howl Rumour Christina Perri Human Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne Rather Be Coldplay Magic David Guetta & Skylar Grey Shot Me Down Disclosure & Mary J Blige F For You Duke Dumont I Got U Example Kids Again Foxes Let go for Tonight If I Could change Your Mind Haim Jason Derulo Stupid Love John Legend All Of Me John Martin Anywhere for You Katy Perry Dark Horse Klaxons There is no Other Time Kylie Into the Blue Little Mix Word Up Lorde Glory and Gore Nina Nesbitt Selfies One Republic I Lived Paolo Nutini Scream Phillip Phillips Raging Fire Pixie Lott Nasty Route 94 ft. Jess Glynne My Love Royal Blood Little Monster Stylo G Move Back The Chainsmokers #Selfie The Vamps Last Night Trey Songz Na Na U2 Invisible


CW 38

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Home and Lifestyle

By Sue McDonald TAKE care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves, as the old saying goes. But for every true saying, there seems to be another which contradicts it! There’s one about false economies

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

TAKING A POUNDING OVER SAVING PENCE as well. Oh, and speculate to accumulate … the list goes on. This week, I am writing about a client of mine, I’ll call him Mr. Wallis, who, like many people who buy in Tenerife, had under-estimated the amount of taxes and costs that go along with purchasing a property here. As a result, he decided to try to save some money on the furnish-

ings for his apartment. The place itself was very nice, and had already been refurbished with new floor tiles, and a revamped kitchen and bathroom, so he had already made a wise buy. He plans to let the apartment out, and wanted it to look good and to be durable enough to withstand a rental programme. I had written an es-

timate for him about four months ago when he first thought about buying the property. It was priced at the medium range for the budget he thought he had available at that time - not the cheapest furniture, and not top of the range, but something in between. Because of his change in circumstances, he decided to shop around to see if he could save some money, not realising that I also had cheaper alternatives. He came to me to buy the beds I had previously quoted for as they were good value for money, and for some curtains for the bedroom. When I went round to measure for the curtains and give him some advice on final decorative bits, he had loads of pieces of wood and little bags of screws all over the lounge carpet. He was building a sideboard that he had bought at another

shop (admittedly at a good price), but was unaware that it would arrive in flat-pack form. It looked like a giant 3D jigsaw puzzle, and, since I knew he was leaving the next day, I was interested to know how long he thought it would take him to build. “It will be a long night,” was all he would tell me. I didn’t have the heart to tell him (at that point) that I sold exactly the same furniture for about 35 euros more than he had paid. And yes, we would have delivered it already put together. He had to buy some tools to do the job as well, so I reckon that in the long run it was a false economy for him. The next day, he called into the shop on his way to the airport. He said the bed we had sold him was fabulously-comfortable. They are, obviously, but maybe his good night’s

sleep was more down to sheer exhaustion! Of course, I did tell him in the end that I had exactly the same furniture, and showed him the very brochures from which he had bought. I don’t like to see a grown man close to tears, but these things happen sometimes! He also admitted that he wasn’t totally happy with the sofas he had bought elsewhere. But since I had offered him some of better quality in the original quote, he thought I didn’t have anything cheaper. A lesson learned by me! In the end, we added up the amount of miles he had walked, the buses he had taken, the tools he had bought to build the furniture, and the fact that he had spent a week in Tenerife either in furniture shops, building furniture, or waiting in for deliveries from different places.


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Garden

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

By Margaret Tully MY latest project in our garden is to try to incorporate the principles of permaculture.

This, in basic terms, means to find sustainable ways of producing our own food: not wasting water, using nonchemical feeds, and using the least amount of energy to create or manage your garden space. The first change I had to make was to remove an Oleander, which is useful as a wind-breaker only. It is a poisonous plant and I had it sitting in a now-sheltered corner, after the erection of a fence some years ago. It has greedily eaten all the rich soil and guzzled bucket-loads of water, and, in return, hasn’t given anything. It was a complete waste of resources so, sadly, it had to go. Normally, if I change the position of a plant, I can save it and find a more appropriate place for it in the garden. But the roots were just so far down that I had to chop them and get hubby to haul it out with his muscles. In its place, I have planted an orange tree, Citrus sinensis, which has the most amazing scented flowers and rich, dark-green, shiny leaves. At the right side of the tree, against the fence, I have planted a Passionflower, which I will talk about in a later column. Hopefully, they will do well, produce lots of fruit and create a lovely area for busy bees and dragonflies, butterflies and the like to visit. I planted more lettuce into my “green box” and

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Plant for the future

have been harvesting lettuce and nasturtiums leaves every second day. I have swiss chard seedlings gaining strength now, and, in a few weeks, I hope to be

harvesting them, one or two leaves at a time. I moved the compost bin into a position that makes it far easier to maintain. And I have replanted two

banana plants, which were struggling, into a new rich bed next to the compost bin, which makes it easier for feeding them When planning your garden, don’t go to the garden centre and buy everything you like. Just take the time to draw out a plan based on the weather conditions within your space, south-facing walls, etc. Work out what you can grow and choose from there. Also, think about the future, and whether or not your garden is sustainable: water requirements, physical work required, wildlife-friendly and resourceful. There should not be too many rules in a garden, as it is a place where you should find relaxation and a sense of accomplishment, and not stress and disappointment. However, plants want to grow, flower and pro-

duce seed - continue the cycle of nature – so if you bring a plant into your garden, you must look after it. Its needs are an important factor to take into account before you even purchase it or sow a seed. Don’t make plants fit; rather, fit the right plant to the correct type of soil, position, etc. My last week has been spent re-siting plants which, in my ignorance, were just not planted in the correct position. Coming to Tenerife has been a real learning curve in terms of gardening, and I have made some costly mistakes. But I am really happy to say that I have turned a corner and I’m having more success than failure. I feel the most useful asset to any garden, big or small, is a compost bin. We all have vegetable and fruit waste, paper towels, toilet-roll inners (many uses for

these), and they can all be composted. Heat and a little water turn this waste into lovely, wholesome soil your plants will love. To avoid the arrival of rats, don’t add any protein waste and you will have no problems. You can add the prunings from your bushes, trees and any other foliage that is free from disease and pesticides. I also like to add a shredded Canarian Weekly in between the greenery, which counts as the brown layer keeping this balance is essential in creating useable compost. An omission was made in last week’s column, headlined A fruit from the Orient. Nispero seeds contain cyanide, which is why it is best to dispose of them and not use them in any way, despite some recipes I have read, which included one or two. Yikes!

SOW IT… GROW IT… TASTE IT Herb Butters Using your herbs at their best is often a challenge, as there can often be a glut of certain ones. You can always dry

them or freeze them for use later in the season, but one of my favourite ways to use my herbs is into the creation of a herb butter.

Ingredients *Butter salted or unsalted *Herbs of your choice Method *Chop the chosen herbs

finely and mix with the butter by mashing the butter in a bowl with the herbs, making sure you mix them well *Put the mixed butter

into a piece of cling film and make a sausage shape. Put into fridge and, once set, slice to use. You can make herb

butters with the flowers, or leaves - lovely with bread, oatcakes or crackers. And I also like to let a slice melt into my home-made soup.


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Health and Beauty

By Val Sainsbury KIDNEY stones may soon be removed from patients in just one procedure, following the development of pioneering new treatment. The procedure, known as “bilateral simultaneous ureteroscopy”, aims to clear both kidneys at the same time, instead of the sufferer having to undergo two separate operations. Traditionally, patients are forced to have treatment on each kidney individually during separate hospital admissions. But the new treatment involves the use of a laser

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Short-cut a blessing for kidney sufferers

beam to break them up. The stones (nephrolithiasis), which affect around 10-15% of men, compared with just 2-7% of women, develop when crystals of salt accumulate into hard, stonelike lumps and are not flushed out of the body. Small stones may be passed out in urine and even go undetected, but medium-sized or large stones might block part of the urinary system, such as the urethra. If this happens, they can cause severe pain in the abdomen or groin, and may cause a urinary tract infection.

Bhaskar Somani, consultant urological surgeon at Southampton General Hospital, is helping to develop the technique to clear both organs at the same time. “Stone treatment no longer has to be carried out in a staged manner when we have a chance to make people stone-free in one sitting,” he said. “Performing them separately means they have more hassle and more time off work. And, logically, if both stones can be removed at the same time, then why do it at different times and prolong patients’ discomfort? “The idea is to clear all stones in both kidneys at the same time, rather than individually, as patients then have to undergo one procedure only and, as a result, only one anaesthetic.” He added: “In particular, for patients with urinary tract infections who have stones in both

kidneys, it is sensible to try to clear everything at once because you can’t be sure which side is causing the infection. “Many surgeons may be fearful of attempting both sides because of the risk, and worry about causing trauma to the kidneys. “But, with the right expertise, confidence and experience, the benefits of a single procedure far outweigh the risks of per-

forming more work in a single session.” Mr Somani told a regional meeting of the British Association of Urological Surgeons that a recent study had seen the pioneering technique performed on 22 patients, with a staggering 92% success rate More than 75% of patients were sent home the same day, with others suffering minimal complications, compa-

rable to those recorded following individual procedures. He told Association members: “Our data, which we believe is the first published and presented series in the UK, suggests this is a safe and effective technique. “There can be minor complications, but equivalent to individual procedures only, and can be used as standard treatment.”

Rolling stones were such a pain NEARLY 40 years ago, when I was just 18, I suffered crippling bouts of renal colic. Tests showed that I had two huge stones in my right kidney, each measuring about 2.5cm. It seemed so unfair because they are usually found in people aged between 30 and 60. In addition, there were about 15 tiny ones, most of which passed out of the kidney, pe-

riodically, and down the thin tube (the ureter), which leads to the bladder. There was no discomfort at all, but, unfortunately, the rest were not so obliging! Renal colic, the term given to the accompanying pain when these stones go on their travels, is one of the most excruciating, agonising experiences you can imagine.

Many women have claimed that childbirth was less painful, which certainly says a lot! How I wish this new method of stone-removal had been available all those years ago. I would not have been left with a 10-inch scar at the side of my body, from front to back, which was necessary to enable the surgeon to remove the larger stones.

Daily diabetes jabs are not a patch on stick-on treatment A STICK-ON sensor could save the lives of diabetics and slash NHS treatment costs. The new device is about the size of a 2p piece and replaces the need for daily finger-pricking jabs to monitor blood glucose levels. The breakthrough gadget, worn at the back of the upper arm, monitors glucose levels and

gives the wearer an instant display on a pagersized reader. It can collect data for up to a fortnight, which can then be downloaded to give doctors vital information that could save patients’ lives and lower the risk of complications. More than three million Britons have diabetes, costing the NHS £10bil-

lion a year. Many do not maintain correct glucose levels because they struggle to perform the finger-pricking jabs four times a day. Dr Gerry Rayman, from Ipswich Hospital, who last week started an advanced trial of the new device, said: “Fingerpricking is a hassle and can be embarrassing. “Many people forget to do it, and do not have a complete picture of their condition. But failing to control long-term diabetes can cause diabetic retinopathy (eye damage), renal failure (kidneys) and foot complications that can lead to amputation. “Everyone with diabetes is at risk, but it is significantly reduced with good control. “This system will help people considerably because it will be so much easier for them to work with.” He added: “I have a 12-year-old patient who has had diabetes for five

years. She has been very good, but she’s just hit a brick wall and cannot continue with fingersticking. Her fingers are all calloused and painful. “People tend to test intermittently, and at very variable times, so it is not possible to build up a picture of their daily pattern. This new treatment will help them to better tailor their insulin and other activities to avoid hypoglycaemia and hyperglycaemic events.” The Libre sensor, made by international healthcare company Abbott, works for Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. It will be especially useful for drivers who need to check levels regularly to ensure they are not at risk of passing out at the wheel. It was devised by British scientist, Jared Watkin, of Abbott’s diabetes care division, who said: “We wanted to make it easier for the patient

to test, and for medical teams to assess data and provided targeted advice.” The lightweight device collects data from a 5mm prong, which reaches under the skin and reacts with fluids to draw an accurate reading of glucose levels. The sensor can store up to eight hours’ worth of data before it needs downloading for analysis. It works through clothing, even ski jackets. Abbott has applied for a licence to use the device and will be pressing for it to be adopted by the NHS. It will be manufactured at the company’s base in Witney and could lead to more jobs. The firm has reopened its graduate-training scheme to cope with the potential increase in business. Dr Rayman, leading the UK part of a 210-patient European trial which will report next

year, said: “Van drivers are supposed to test every two hours, but now they will be able to test every 15 minutes and it will be so much safer. “We spend too much money on acute complications from diabetics going hypo, crashing cars and ending up in A&E.” The device could be on sale later this year if approved, but it l then have to be judged by NICE, the Government’s drug and medical device assessment authority, before it can be made available on the NHS. Douglas Twenefour, of Diabetes UK, said: “We welcome any innovation that can relieve people with diabetes from the daily grind of having to test blood glucose levels constantly. We welcome any technology which is less invasive, and we eagerly await the results of the trials.”


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Health and Fashion

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

By Stella from Robot

FACE FACTS AND TURN BACK TIME

IF you always want to look your best - young, fresh and beautiful you have probably tried a huge number of skincare treatments.

And, of course, the services which have all promised to do one thing or another for your skin. Unfortunately, not all skin care is created equal, so you might find yourself experimenting with many treatments before you finally find one that will best suit your requirements. Or you can just pick up dermaroller and be done with all the experimenting and beta testing. The dermaroller, used for some years in Los Angeles to reduce the appearance of acne scars, wrinkles and even

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stretch marks, has hundreds of tiny needles that penetrate the outer layer of skin . Angelina Jolie is reported to have tried dermaroller therapy after being introduced to it by husband Brad Pitt , who is also thought to have had a series of treatments to combat acne scars. The dermaroller is proven to be an effective and inexpensive alternative to all the other costly beauty im-

plements you can find elsewhere. It is a micro-needling tool which rolls on your skin, creating small pinpricks with every motion and speeding up the skin rejuvenation process. The beauty behind this deceptively-simple but incredibly-effective tool is that it can be used for all skin types and colours, on almost all parts of the body and for most types of skin-care concerns.

You may notice some reddening or blotching on the treated area after you apply the dermaroller, and these can last until the next day if you are on an aggressive programme, or are using longer needles. An even flush all over the treated area means you are ready to see your skin brought back to life. These normal, physiological reactions show that your skin is beginning to regenerate itself

naturally. Blood is beginning to flow more readily to the top of your skin, allowing new cells to be formed and more collagen to be produced. It is best to schedule your dermaroller treatment on weekends to allow your skin time to return to its normal tone before going out. That said, you can still use mild make-up the day after your treatment if you want to cover up the redness. However, direct sun exposure is a no-no as this may get in the way of your skin’s natural, regenerative process. What results should I expect? Treatment with dermaroller will result in noticeably-firmer, more evenly-toned, fresher skin. And for those of you who have tried in vain to restore your skin to what it was five or 10 years ago, look no further. The dermaroller is

highly effective in plumping up scars and pits caused by acne, clearing fine lines and wrinkles around the forehead and mouth, evening out the skin tone from face to neck, and reducing stretch marks. The skin renewal process cannot be rushed, so you will have to be patient and wait for the results to manifest themselves before using the dermaroller again. It may take a little over a month for your skin to renew itself fully after a dermaroller treatment. And you are recommended to space out your treatments to give your skin time to heal completely. After every treatment, make sure to keep your skin well-moisturised to help it heal faster. However, the subsequent formation of new collagen gives the real lift, taking years off your face.

Don’t just ‘like’ those new shoes By Ruth Benson AFTER last week’s article, you should now have a well-organised, clutter-free wardrobe waiting for you to refill with new purchases.

Here are some guidelines on how to shop sensibly to keep your

clothing fashionable, as well as practical and cost-effective. James Wallman, author of the Stuffocation book, suggests the following when shopping for clothing: firstly, his key rule is Buy less, buy better”. This seems quite obvious, but do we all know what we buying when we are shopping? Obviously, there are different reasons to shop - for an occasion such as a party or wed-

ding, for holiday clothing or just for something new. There tends to be a reason for the purchase, so keep this in mind and do not get waylaid. The second point James makes is not to buy things we “like” but things we “love”. If you just like it, it will probably get lost back in the wardrobe and find itself in next year’s clear-out. If you love it, you will want to wear it and get value for your money.

One important decision when shopping is purchasing this year’s fashion trend. What I mean by this is deciding if something which is this year’s “must have” but may not be in fashion for long, is worth the money to wear for six weeks. Or is it better to buy something that won’t date? I believe we all need to get an item each year that may be in next year’s spring clean. But make sure you remem-

ber this when parting with your hard-earned money. In previous articles I have gone on about comfort. I’m really terrible for buying shoes that kill me, but are worth it for that one night out. But comfort will be important to you when you go through your wardrobe to decide what to wear. I cannot emphasis this point enough when you are purchasing a new item.


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Special Feature

By John Hennessey

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

The road to happiness … and hell on a bike!

WHEN you’ve safely negotiated the notorious Hyde Park Corner and Piccadilly Circus for years on a push-bike, Tenerife’s somewhat crazy drivers hold no dangers to me.

At least, that’s what I believed when I began cycling over here more than a decade ago. And for nine blissful years, apart from being “bumped off” gently at the side of a roundabout by a bus, my trusty mountain bike has carried me everywhere - at low levels, admittedly (actually, I’m on my third bike, two others being pinched, but that’s another story). Then my world caved in, twice last year, and each time I was convinced my race was over; that I was about to depart this world. Honestly!” I had actually pushed both incidents to the back of my mind until reading the letter in last week’s Canarian Weekly about the retired policeman, whose £3,000 carbon bike was snapped in half by a Titsa bus. It ran into the back of him as he waited, stationary, to navigate the busy, Los Cristianos roundabout. He says it was a miracle he wasn’t seriously injured, and that was exactly how I felt on both occasions. The first happened about a year ago as I waited in the “keep-left” junction box - about one-third of the way down the Los Abrigos hill - to turn into the long, winding road leading up to Atogo’s ostrich farm and restaurant. It’s my regular keepfit run and I must have covered the course at least 700 times, always with extreme care because it’s a narrow road, prone to the odd boyracer. On this occasion, there was a car coming up the hill fairly rapidly, so I waited for it to pass by.

It got to within about 50 metres of me when, suddenly, a car previously hidden from view shot out and overtook him. It headed straight towards me, and there was nothing I could do because it happened in the blink of an eye. My only thought was, “I’ve had it”. But somehow the driver, who really was hammering it, wrenched the car across the road. Had there been a car coming down the hill, it would have been curtains for both drivers, such was his speed. I would probably have been hit as well. Fortunately, the road was clear and off he sped, leaving me sitting rigidly on the bike, trembling for about a minute before pushing on. It really was the biggest scare of my life and it took me some time to get over the shock, even though I carried on cycling. Blow me, seven months later, I had another narrow squeak, on that same winding road I’d been waiting to enter. This time it happened miles past the junction, and almost at the ostrich farm. There’s a huge incline leading up to the farm and this is my daily goal - named Henman Hill by my partner - and I just have to climb it! To a regular racer on a lightweight, drop-

handlebar bike, it is a doddle. But for an old bloke like me, your average social cyclist, it’s my Mount Teide. Once up the top, I usually come straight back down swiftly, but with one eye carefully on the side road at the foot of it, leading to San Isidro, which has right of way. I also have to be wary about the next left turn, almost immediately, even though there’s a distinct “Stop” sign at the end of the road. When the TF-1 is clogged, it takes drivers and cabbies to the airport, via the BP garage you can see clearly from the motorway. But it is my right of way. Not this time, though. As I drew level, wearing a bright orange T-shirt, a car shot out towards me, paying no heed to the road I was on, and certainly not checking the traffic. This time, I just knew I was a gonner. I had no choice but to sit and pray, crash into a solid brick wall to the right of me, or try to avoid the car by hitting really rough ground a few yards ahead of me. Whatever the decision, I’d had it, whether or not the woman driver hit me because of my speed. Miraculously, the angels took care of me again as the woman somehow braked heavily and just missed me. I carried on riding,

hardly believing my luck, while she hung back for a few seconds and then shot down a side road. It was almost worth going through the fear to see the sheer look of

terror on her face when she realised what she had done. But even now, as I write, my heart is pounding as the reality hits home again. Trouble is, cycling really is a bug, and I’ve had that bug since I was a kid, piecing old bangers together from dumped frames and wheels we used to find on scrapheaps or in fields. To be fair, I have had plenty of scrapes in my time, falling off after a heavy night at the pub, just bumping up a kerb and being sent sprawling, or colliding with a wall that jumps out on me. But bruises apart, a few grazes, a frozen shoulder and a fractured thumb, I’ve had nothing at all to worry about. On the other side of the coin, I am also a motorist, and my blood boils when I see careless cyclists causing

problems on the road. It’s no wonder they are avoided like the plague by some drivers, and the worst culprits are the teams of riders you see every day on the back road between Los Cristianos and Las Chafiras, then wending their way to El Medano. Despite the many cycle lanes in place, there always seems to be one guy determined to move wide on to the road and position himself abreast of another rider. Invariably, it causes a log-jam because cars simply cannot overtake for fear of hitting an oncoming car. But these guys don’t care. They really believe they own the roads and can what they like. And just see the reception you get if you dare toot them to get out of the way. I’d rather stick to my beloved Henman Hill run - and keep faith with the angels!


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Food and Drink

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

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Amazing La Martina NOBODY ever makes a bad recommendation. It’s like a Seinfeld sketch: “Every time somebody recommends a doctor, he’s always the best. They can’t all be the best! Someone’s graduating at the bottom of these classes. Where are those doctors?” We’ve all been there. We go to a restaurant with high hopes, only to feel let down. “How can someone like this place?” And then there are those places where the recommendation is spoton. Your friends’ favourite restaurant becomes your favourite. This is La Martina. Hand on heart, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t rave about it. Simply put, you have to go. While La Martina, like all Gourmetland restaurants, does a range of dishes, you really have to have the meat. The chefs are so proud of their meat that they introduce you to your dish as you walk in. Literally, on your righthand side, there is a

mammoth open front fridge displaying all the fresh options. When you look at the menu, you read it and then walk to fridge. You can choose which cut you want. And if you want it sliced a certain way or cut slightly differently, it’s never a problem. In fact, that is the mantra at La Martina. And all the credit for this goes to the manager, Pepe. He has been in charge from day one. La Martina opened in July

2009 and the restaurant breathes Pepe’s style and class. He has been on the Island for over 20 years after arriving from his home city of Naples. His influence is everywhere, from the professional staff to the amazing open-glass wine cellar, through to the little touches to the menu. La Martina is like no other restaurant in Tenerife, and it’s the reason why you will return. As I’ve mentioned, there is a full and wide wine cellar. The buffs can peruse the list and make their selection. Or you can join Pepe or Thomas, his dedicated wine waiter, to make the perfect choice for you. They have exclusive wines and it’s a menu that you will enjoy exploring. Just like the food menu itself which, while based on Argentine and other South American cuisine, has the manager’s Italian touch to it. On this occasion, we opted for the large pimiento de padron and one of the signature dishes, the provoleta. In layman’s terms, it’s cheese

with toast and spicy sausages! But it’s nothing like that. The thinly-toasted dry bread is designed for the amazing provoleta cheese. It’s an Argentine grilling cheese, which is popular in Italy. I wonder how it ended up on the menu? It’s stored as a hard cheese and is best served slow-baked. This helps the cheese retain its rich full flavour, and the slow roasting or grilling stops the gorgeous, tangy cure from evaporating. It is served in the oven dish and is eaten a little like a fondue. Combined with the spicy chorizo sausage slices, it’s dynamite. Great to share, unique and the perfect starter. The main course was tricky. As I’ve mentioned, the open fridge contains so many juicy cuts. The pork steaks, ribs and chops are on offer, along with lamb chops, skillet, sirloins, fillet and the usual cuts. And then there are the specials. The chateaubriand is the perfect sharing dish, as is the monster Ox chop, which can be

part-cooked and served on your own grilling plate. And for the connoisseurs, there is the famous aged rib eye with the marble effect, which gives it that flavour. This you can have on the bone or off. The steaks are cooked to your liking on the large public, open grill. It’s always nice to see this is as it gives a restaurant atmosphere and a wonderful aroma. For some restaurants, less is more - and while I subscribe to that view, more is more at La Martina Gentlemen, you have to see the size of these steaks. Skip lunch before you go! Steaks are a very personal thing. Everyone likes them a different way, but let me make a suggestion for you which will change your life. Firstly, ask for the Maldon salt. This is a flaked sea salt which is lightly applied to the warm meat. It caramelises on touch and changes the texture and flavour of the meat. Next, order some Chimichurri. This is an Argentine sauce, specifically designed for meat

dishes. The ingredients include garlic, parsley, vinegar and a couple of spices which are the restaurant’s secret. No amount of bribery could get Pepe to reveal what it was. The chimichurri, combined with the Maldon, brings the meat alive in a way that will change your palette forever. I cannot praise the chefs enough. The accompanying potatoes and special vegetables complete the meal perfectly. La Martina has a variety dessert menu if you still have any room left. Or, like us, you can go for the first-rate cheese selection, served with walnuts and grapes. The restaurant has live entertainment nightly with dance shows and flamenco, along with singers and instrumentalists. Whether you are on holiday or a resident, you must experience La Martina. And I guarantee you will go again. La Martina is in Americas Plaza in central Las Américas. For reservations, call 922 751 398.


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A Senior View & Community News

By Monica Dyson LATELY, we’ve had the “luvvie” season, when the great of the entertainment world get a pat on the back for a job well done.

Gong time starts when the New Year’s Honours list is announced here in the UK and we find out which of the elderly stars of entertainment, who haven’t so far received a knighthood, are awarded one. What I can’t understand is why people get awards simply for being good at the job they do? And usually, when they are paid more than anyone else anyway? The usual suspects were there: TV presenters, furniture designers, actresses, opera singers, comediennes and employees of the Royal households, as well as all the people who have done great things for charity, I’m not arguing about that sort of recognition, of people who give their time to help make things better in the world we live in. But we even had David Cameron’s barber getting a MBE for services to hairdressing, with many of his famous clients paying exorbitant amounts of money for a haircut! I was quite pleased that Anthony Gormley, sculptor, received an OBE as I am blown away by his Another Place on Crosby Beach, Liverpool, and Angel of the North in Gateshead. But does that mean Banksie will expect something similar? Should anyone be able to track him down! There was criticism about the exclusion of David Beckham and Andy Murray from the

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

And the Oscars do not go to…

knighthood list! I’m sure that will happen eventually, and there’s even time for Wayne Rooney to be honoured for services to finance! After the New Year Honours came the Golden Globes, Grammys, National Television Awards, Folk Awards and Baftas, to be followed by the big boys - the Oscars! These awards can quadruple an actor’s salary, and can often be more about who wore what by which designers, and who behaved most badly, than about their actual work. The opening ceremony of the Grammys caused controversy when the performance of Beyoncé was not deemed suitable for the televised time, and her outfit not appropriate for this role model for young girls. But certainly no less shocking than the display of Miley Cyrus at last year’s MTV awards. What happened to that sweet little schoolgirl? But stars have always been ready to shock. I can remember the controversy surrounding appearances by Madonna

in the Eighties and Nineties. It seems that women in recent times have used sex to sell their records. It’s gone full circle and, instead of women being exploited for their sexuality, they are using that sexuality for their own means and to further their careers. The BAFTAS host, Stephen Fry, was accused last year of dragging the ceremony into the gutter with his foul language and sexual references. He was asked back this year but with a toneddown script. With funny one-liners, he showed that you need not be obscene to entertain. Awards in the world of film are usually predictable, and this year’s were no exception. I can’t argue with the sheer excellence of Twelve years a Slave,

which won Best Film at the Baftas and the Oscars; or with the award given at the Baftas to Chiwetel Ejiofor for Best Actor, although he lost out on that one to Matthew McConaughey at the Golden Globes and at the Oscars for Dallas Buyers Club. But I absolutely adored the funny and heartbreaking Philomena, which didn’t get anything at the Baftas apart from the one for Best Adapted Screenplay. I love movies and can sit transfixed for hours, and there aren’t many blockbusters I haven’t seen over the years. But I am amazed that many of the films I have loved the most have never won an award. One of my all-time favourites has been Shirley Valentine It was described as a wake-up

Brand New Rattan patio furniture for sale at bargain prices Tenerife Auction Rooms 12 Calle Caracas, Las Chafiras. Phone 609 303 634

We are just past the ITV station behind Tenerife Rent a Car at the top of the road to Amarilla Golf

call for many women, who realised that the life they were leading wasn’t the one they wanted, and that they could actually do something about it, and it was full of humour, pathos and whimsy. Though much loved, it was largely ignored by the big awards but managed Top Comedy Film at the British Comedy Awards, with a BAFTA for Pauline Collins in the category of Best Actress. How lovely to watch a film without any violence or obscenity. Films like that have a feel-good factor. You actually come out of the cinema feeling happy! Described as best film of all time, Citizen Kane managed an Academy Award for Best Screenplay only, while Psycho and The Shawshank Redemption, were Nominations only. And The Wizard of Oz, which wasn’t even an initial box-office success, lost out to Gone With the Wind for the Oscar’s Best Film award. Some Like it Hot, which the American Film Institute said was the greatest American comedy of all time, won the Golden Globe only for Best Motion Picture, with Mari-

lyn Monroe receiving the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a musical comedy. But it was condemned by the Catholic Legion of Decency as being seriously offensive to Christian standards of morality and decency, because of the transvestism and inferences to homosexuality and lesbianism. But the greatest slight as far as my husband is concerned, having seen it over 300 times, is that The Magnificent Seven, which, although disappointing at the American box office while a smash hit throughout Europe, never won any awards, despite being the second-most-shown film in American TV history. Its instantly-recognisable theme music lost out at the Oscars as best film score to Exodus. But, like most things, we all have our favourite films. The main thing is that excellent films are still produced and that we still go to the cinema and can get pensioner rates. Here anyway! And don’t worry too much about the “luvvies”. If it were not for them, there would be no films!

A Mini-Bus bash for cancer victims

ANN PLUMMER and the San Blas Cultural Centre have organised a fund-raising evening to help Carol Salisbury Chappell raise enough money to buy a mini-bus for Cancer Patients Charity.

Carol’s supreme efforts come in the wake of the Government’s withdrawal of funds for cancer patients’ free transport to and from Candelaria Hospital, in the North. where they receive specialist

treatment. The event takes place on Tuesday (25th Mar), from 7.30pm at Taboo’s, San Blas, Golf del Sur, and features flamenco guitarists, paella and sangria, along with a tombola and raffle. Tickets, costing 18 euros, will be available from Carol (639 069 862) and Carole Hart at the Swallows’ usual coffee morning on Monday at the Apolo Centre. Carole, who runs the popular Swallows club, has told her members: “I hope some of you will be able to support this very worthwhile cause.”


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Community News

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

45 CW

Accion del Sol news

They’re in the Army now! TENERIFE’S Spanish Army decided six months ago during their quest to recruit dogs to take a Rottweiler from Accion del Sol to help with the growing crisis of abandoned dogs.

The Army were interested mainly in the larger breeds, which are difficult to rehome, which is why they went for the Rottweiler and were justified in doing so because it turned out to be a huge success. So impressed were another division of the

Live Arico news

Do you recognise this injured dog?

Army that they have take two dogs from the refuge, to the delight of Accion staff. The dogs receive the best care and training possible, with first-class facilities and 24-hour veterinary assistance. These animals now have brand-new, happy and fulfilled lives and we thank the Army for their collaboration with Accion. Sponsored dog walk A date for your diary is 13th April, when we are organising a sponsored dog walk along the Los Cristianos seafront, meeting at 10.30am at

the Harbour car park. Fund-raiser in May Our next fund-raising event takes place on 4th May, from 2pm at the refuge. If you would like to help out in any way, or maybe donate a raffle prize, please contact the refuge on 922 778 630. We are also looking for singers, entertainers and dance groups who would like to participate. Opening times Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: 2pm-5pm. Saturday: 1pm-4pm. Please call 922 778 630 for more information.

Helping Hand by Britannia! The Britannia Bar raised over 1,400e recently for the Helping Hands’ charity with a fund raiser in Costa del Silencio.

THIS poor dog was knocked down and injured near el Roque two weeks ago, and some witnesses called us as they didn’t know what to do with him.

He was in such pain and we paid for emergency treatment for his broken leg. But he is not chipped, and we are searching for his owner. He was wearing a thick leather collar and is, possibly, a finca dog. He is very friendly and enjoying himself at Country Pets Hotel.

But it is better to reunite him with his owners. If you think you know him, call Sue on 629-388 102 for more information. Top Square again Our three-monthly event on the Top Square, Golf del Sur, is upon us again, and these events keep getting bigger and better every time! Next Saturday (29th Mar), Suzy q will be introducing Alfie B, John Francis, Colin Stevens, Abba Twist, Tanya Tevaro, Nick Page and more to be confirmed. Top of the bill are The Full Monty Revisited.

A sponsored head shave, massive raffle and a BBQ helped to swell the coffers to an impressive 1,4263e. Plenty of entertainers gave up their time to help so thanks goes to Dave Wood, Pip Brown, Aidey Evans, Nigel Walker, Indianna, Gordon Quinn, Sheila Tyson and Storm Duo. Helping Hands’ Liz Montague, said: “It was

a fabulous day, with lots going on, and a huge well done and thank

you to everyone who participated. It is so nice to see local busi-

ness supporting charities.” Photos: Mark Thornton

Alan Glaves - a Lion through and through ALAN GLAVES, who helped form the Santiago del Teide Lions Club, has died at the age of 69 following a short illness. “He was very much a larger-than-life personality - the life and soul of any party,” said his family following his death at Grimsby’s Diana, Princess of Wales Hospital after a short illness. The ambitious youngster, born and raised in Sheffield, relocated

with his family to Humberston from Leeds in 1973 after moving to the East Yorkshire area to work for local haulier Peter Chatterton. Two years later he set up his own business, Euro Fish Transport, sending fresh Grimsby fish to the Continent. Within a decade he had founded Alan Glaves International Ltd, a frozen food transport company. His other passion was the Lions and, once

semi-retired in Tenerife, Mr Glaves put his efforts into helping launch the Santiago del Teide Lions Club, in which he played an active role until his recent illness. He was a keen sportsman and played for the Crusaders Cricket Club in Grimsby throughout the Eighties. He was also a popular member of Cleethorpes Golf Club in the Nineties and a lifelong supporter of Sheffield Wednes-

day Football Club. A celebration of Alan’s life will take place at Espiritu Santo Church, Los Gigantes, on Saturday, 5th April, at noon. All are welcome, and his family have requested donations in lieu of flowers to Santiago del Teide Lions Club. Secretary Terry Hill said: “Alan was an active and well-respected member of the club and will be greatly missed.”


CW 46

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Motoring

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Smart starting again!

By Jav SMART are preparing for a fresh start with the launch of their third-generation Fortwo later this year.

And, for the first time since the car’s 1998 introduction, the signature Smart will forego a diesel option, though the company are planning an electric version next year. The all-new twoseater, now being put through its paces in testing – as shown in these official company pictures - represents a new chapter in operations for them. Smart have recently gained greater independence from parent company MercedesBenz as their boss, An-

By Emma at Motorworld

SINCE 1 November 2012, a new EU ruling has been enforced, insisting that new tyres sold must carry an informative sticker. st

It states their turning resistance, braking ability on wet roads and noise level. The sticker is similar to the one on white goods, which is divided into three sections, for safety and efficiency. Some manufactures are happy with the legislation, while others feel that some important information has been left off, such as the tyre’s resistance to aquaplaning, wet handling or dry braking and traction. How to read the labels The first part is the fuel efficiency associated with the tyre’s rolling resistance, shown by

nette Winkler, attempts to stop the flow of losses and set the city car specialist on the road to long-term profitability. The new Fortwo (codenamed C453) has been developed in a joint engineering programme with the forthcoming second-generation Forfour and its sister car, the third-generation Renault Twingo. All three motors are

based on a newly-developed, rear-engined, rear-wheel drive platform, whose engineering has been led by Smart with input from Renault. It will support differing wheelbases and track widths and gives added rigidity, greater crash worthiness and what Smart bills as “vastly improved safety”. In a move driven by the

latest pedestrian-injury criteria applied to the Euro NCAP test procedure, the new Fortwo forgoes the one-box silhouette of its predecessor for a two-box profile. It has a more defined bonnet and less-heavily-raked windscreen - as revealed on the prototype pictured. Familiar Smart design traits, such as the frontend styling and exposed

Tridion safety shell, will be retained. At 2695mm, the new Fortwo is the same length as today’s second-generation model, while height remains close to the existing 1540mm. However, Smart have provided the latest version of its city car with an added 100mm of body width, extending it to around 1660mm. Insiders suggest handling has been transformed, both at lower speeds around town and at higher speeds on the open road. The larger footprint is also said to bring a dramatic improvement in the car’s ability to carry speed through corners. The wider track is claimed to bring added stability at higher speeds as well, particularly in lane-change manoeuvres. Additional wheel travel and new damping characteristics are said to contribute to greater ride comfort, with

less vertical pitch over bumps. Further developments include an electromechanical steering system. According to Smart chief Winkler, it provides the new twoseater with an ultratight 7.5m turning circle - some 1.2m less than today’s model - for what she describes as “sensational manoeuvrability in an urban environment”. The car is powered by an all-new, rear-mounted, 1.0-litre, three-cylinder petrol engine. It has been developed in partnership with Renault and will be offered in 70bhp, naturally-aspirated or 85bhp turbo-charged forms. A 105bhp Brabus version is also on the cards. The new engine will come mated to a standard six-speed manual or optional seven-speed dual-clutch gearbox. The latter, produced by Getrag, was revealed at last September’s Frankfurt Motor Show.

Don’t be rolled over by cheap tyre deals a tyre and petrol pump sign, and indicating the effect the tyre has on the vehicle’s consumption. Rolling resistance is force acting in the opposite direction of travel when the tyre is rolling. And considering tyres contribute up to 20% of a car’s overall fuel consumption, it is important to reach low “rolling resistance” values. That means the vehicle load, which deforms the tyre where it meets the road surface, dissipating energy in the form of heat. The higher the deformation, the higher the rolling resistance - and, consequently, more fuel consumption and CO2 emissions. In the EU tyre Regulation label, rolling resistance is expressed in grades, ranging from A (best grading) to F (for industrial vehicles) and G for cars (worst grading).

The classification is done via an alphabet scale from A to G and a colour scale from red to green, although the D classification is not used on cars. Understandably, the A-rated green tyre is the most fuel-efficient tyre and the G-rated red tyre the least one. In terms of consumption, an A tyre compared with a one could save 7.5% consumption, which equates to six li-

tres of petrol for every 1,000 kilometres. The second part is the wet-handling indication, indicated by a tyre and a rain cloud. Wet braking is one of the most important characteristics of tyres as it translates to shorter braking distances. The higher the rating the less distance required to stop the vehicle on a wet road. The classification is again shown via an al-

phabet scale from A to F, although D and G classifications are not used on cars. Calculations indicate that the difference between each letter is around a 30% braking distance. An example would be that an Arated tyre can stop the car 18 metres before an F tyre. The third part is the external noise level indication, indicated by a tyre and a volume with

sound waves. This will be blank or black, dependent on the noise level, and the decibels they emit will also be indicated. This is a relevant environmental issue, influenced by traffic intensity, vehicle type, driving style and the interaction between the tyre and the road. The scale is split into three parts: one sound wave is the quietest, two is moderate and three the noisiest. Obviously, all of these parts also indicate a price and quality difference of tyres, so the higher the rating, the more expensive the tyre. But sometimes it is worth the extra money for the safety – and, these days with the price of petrol, the fuel consumption. If you have any questions, please e-mail emma@motorworldtenerife.com or call Motorworld on 922 783 828.


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Puzzle

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

PRIZE Godoku!

WIN! Tickets for bowling at Megabowl The rules of Godoku are simple - just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid. When you have completed it a word will appear.

Email the answer to info@canarianweekly.com before 5pm on Wednesday 26th March and you’ll be in with a chance of winning.

Last Weeks winner (Issue 844): Anne Bucknell Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 18th April to pick up and use your vouchers.

This week’s letters: A B C E M N R S U This week’s mystery clue: He is the author of the 2012 thriller The Flame Alphabet (9 letters).

B S C M S U B E

M C

B A

R N R U S N

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds. Good Luck! Starter Number

1

2

3

90

÷5

+66

3/4 of this

6

7

8

9

2

3

-53

25% of this

4

Which number should replace the question mark?

-52

5

x7

Answer

+102 ÷4

Intermediate Starter Number

1

500

2/5 of this

-134

5/6 of this

6

7

8

9

-41

x5

-77

x5

1

2

3

5

4

+122 ÷3 Answer

Advanced Starter Number

62

x4

6

7

+31

4/9 of this

8

9

+154 ÷4 +213

4

-82

3/4 of this

5

x5

Answer

Quick Wordsearch Find the words on: Maths acute angle radius area random variable circle ratio circumference real number cone right triangle cylinder segment exponent solid factor solution inequality sum integers surface area mean symmetric median tangent of an angle mixed number variable mode vertex of an angle parallel lines volume parallelogram percent perimeter polygon prime number product

R C S M

Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

2 8 3

Making you think...

Beginner

E N A S

5

4 1 3 5 8 6 8 4 7 1 4 6 7 3 1 4 9 5 6

8 9

47 CW

Last Issue's Answers:

7

Brain Training: Beginner: 23 Intermediate: 31

Advanced: 172

Making you think:

Answer : 2 In each slice of the circle, the difference between the outer and middle numbers is written in the inner segment of the opposite slice.

And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...

8 4 9

4 2 6

7 2 6 5 1

2 1 3

1 8 7 2

3 9

2 3 8 6

7 2 8 9 5

5 3 1 4

6 2 5 1

9 4 8 2

5 6 3 4 8

7 1 5 3

2 8

4 7 9 1 6

1 6 2

3

6

5

4 3 7

Godoku:

Sudoku X: 4 1 7 2 5 8 9 3 6 8 6 3 4 1 9 7 2 5 2 9 5 6 3 7 8 4 1 6 8 4 3 9 1 5 7 2 9 5 2 8 7 6 4 1 3 7 3 1 5 4 2 6 9 8 5 2 9 7 8 3 1 6 4 1 4 6 9 2 5 3 8 7 3 7 8 1 6 4 2 5 9

Sudoku: 2 6 7 3 8 1 4 9 5

2 8 7 1 5 6 9 3 4

1 3 9 4 5 2 6 7 8

9 5 6 4 2 3 1 8 7

5 8 4 7 6 9 2 1 3

4 3 1 8 7 9 2 5 6

3 1 6 9 7 5 8 2 4

7 4 5 3 9 8 6 1 2

9 5 8 2 4 3 7 6 1

3 1 9 2 6 7 5 4 8

7 4 2 6 1 8 3 5 9

8 6 2 5 4 1 3 7 9

4 9 1 8 2 7 5 3 6

6 7 4 9 1 5 8 2 3

8 2 5 1 3 6 9 4 7

1 9 8 7 3 2 4 6 5

6 7 3 5 9 4 1 8 2

5 2 3 6 8 4 7 9 1


CW 48

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Information / Free Ads

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment. Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco. gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112

National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint. Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06 Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

Canarian Weekly Photo Challenge This week’s best photo: Lynn Bingham

Theme: Shadows

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014 Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00 Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water. Red - Strong currents do not swim

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions. Take care. Green - Safe to swim Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week. Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava

How to submit your free adverts: PHONE 902 232 102 Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop). Deadline for Free ads is Tuesdays at 4pm. Up to 500 euros only.

Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11 Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 77 77 20 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802 Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights. Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037

TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services. Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company. Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%. Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate. Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

Honda Jazz, English plates, ideal for going back to UK or for spares and parts. 500 euros. 2 gazebo covers, 15 euros each. Electric kettle, 5 euros. Toaster, 5 euros. Large beige rug, 15 euros. Pair of long beige curtains, 12 euros. Tel: 922 770 887 or 669 640 219 Corner shower cubicle with 2 sliding doors, good cond. 20 euros. Edeas fridge, good cond. 35 euros ono. Buyer collects. Tel: 661 249 095 3 piece suite in Mediterranean style, inc 3-seater settee which folds into a double bed with a pull out single drawer bed underneath and 2 single armchairs. 300 euros ono. Pictures can be viewed via internet, or call. Tel: 922 799 088 or 651 524 137 1.5 litre Severin electric kettle, hardly used, 15 euros. 1.7 litre electric jug kettle, 10 euros. Tel: 922 733 299

Silver unisex mountain bike, excellent cond. 180 euros. Tel: 697 746 885

This week’s theme is Motion

3 domestic gas bottles, 35 euros each. Otsein/Hoover 2-door fridge/freezer, vgc, 60 euros, buyer collects. Tel: 922 857 219 or 687 057 372 Sky plus box with remote control. 40 euros. Tel: 687 651 578 Wooden sofa with single bed under, removable cushions, good cond. 40 euros. Tel: 629 750 278 Light wood coffee table, top slides open for storage, good cond, 15 euros. pine double bed, with head and foot board in slatted pine, with mattress, good cond. 80 euros. Deluxe folding sunbed, fully adjustable back and leg-rest, on wheels for easy movement, with mattress, folds for winter storage, vgc. 50 euros. Upright fridge/freezer in good condition 65 euros. Rustic sideboard, 2 cupboards and 3 drawers, 95 euros. Deluxe folding sunbed fully adjustable, on wheels, complete with mattress, 65 euros. Good boys’ clothes, age 5-11: T-shirts, shorts, jeans, jackets and shoes; also, assortment of ladies’ clothes size 10-12, 50 cents an item. Brother electric typewriter as new, 40 euros. Binatone big button sim-free mobile phone, 10 euros. White patio furniture, 6 chairs. Free (must collect. needs cleaning). White oval set of 3 dressing-table mirrors, 20 euros. Toshiba DVD player with USB input vgc, 30 euros. Samsung LCD TV 22in HD HDMI vgc, 85 euros. Wickerlook wooden bedroom dressing table with mirror and bedside 3-drawer unit, 30 euros. Tel: 922 742 257 or 661 084 981

Brand-new Bosch impact drill, electronic, 650 watt. 30 euros. Large tool box complete with many tools, (spanners, saw, etc) 30 euros. Tel: 637 293 020 3 and 2 seater beige fabric settees, comfy, good cond, washable covers, 295 euros for both. Buyer collects. Tel: 667 690 943 Aspes H2 1401 oven and halogen hob, 95 euros. Dropdown front writing desk, two drawers and glass-fronted cupboard, 85 euros. 1960s glass-fronted cabinet, 45 euros. IKEA extending table, 90 euros. Whirlpool upright fridge/freezer, scruffy but works, 30 euros. Miyota Sistema W-M99-T mini home theatre system and TV, plays DVD,SVCD,VCD, DVCD, MPEG4, MPEG3, 65 euros. TV table on wheels, 20 euros. Wilson hammer 6.4 tennis racket, with padded bag, hardly used, 15 euros. Wilson dual taper beam 2.9 tennis racket, with padded bag, hardly used. 15 euros. Tel: 629 570 945 Callaway Diablo Driver and 3 Wood with rregular graphite shafts, excellent cond. Both items together, 215 euros. Tel: 630 976 208 2 Panama hats small & med new con. 25 euros each. Designer lady’s bag, new, black with pink waterproof lining, can be used as baby-changing bag. 50 euros. Child’s bike, Mickey Mouse red with trainer wheels, 25 euros. Minnie Mouse duvet cover & pillow case, new. 8 euros. Tel: 922 794 790 Fridge, 50 euros. Aspes ideal oven, vgc, 70 euros. Tel 672 337 430


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Classified

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Sofas 3 and 2-seater modern good condition, brown/ beige 49 euros and 35 euros. Computer desks large 18 euros, small 13 euros. 2 x 3 arm-hanging lounge lights, with fixed shades, 23 euros each. Dining table, extending and 4 chairs, 85 euros. Large modern bookcase, 35 euros. Matching chest of drawers, 39 euros. Large tiled-top patio table, 35 euros. Mirrors, cupboard and other items. Tel: 639 069 862

Cars/BIKES

49 CW

Air-conditioning (cont.)

Affinity pro series 10.5 degree driver with 450cc cor max head and yellow hm65 graphite shaft, plus headcover. 25 euros. 2 putters, excellent cond, 12 euros each. Tel: 922 797 888 Single size 2-drawer divan bed with mattress & headboard, 60 euros. Dining table, glass inset top and 6 chairs. 120 euros. Both items in vgc. Tel: 637 968 334 Microwave and grill, 35 euros. TDT with remote, 15 euros. Ceiling fan with lamp, 25 euros. Camping gas, 20 euros. DVD player/video recorder combo remote, 45 euros. DVD player, 25 euros. VCR player, 20 euros, Butane gas bottles, 40 euros each, 3 for 110 euros. Two orange juicers, 10 euros each. Deep fat fryer, 20 euros, VCR player, 20 euros. Cordless home phone, 10 euros. Table lamp with shade, 10 euros. Computer monitor, 25 euros. Child’s car seat, 20 euros. Tel: 632 526 710 Under-counter fridge, 50 euros. Stainless-steel, 4 ring, electric hob, 50 euros. White microwave 25 euros, Stainless-steel electric kettle, 12 euros. Chest freezer, 120 euros. Computer monitor, 10 euros, Mountain bike, 85 euros. Video recorders, 20 euros. Table fan, 15 euros. Computer tower, 70 euros, PC monitor, 30 euros. DVD player, 20 euros. VCR player, 25 euros. Foot bath massager, 20 euros. Playstation 2 with controller + two games, 45 euros. Microwave 25 euros. Microwave dishes, 8 euros each. Vacuum cleaner, (bagless), 20 euros. 21in TV, 30 euros. Mini oven, 20 euros. Tel: 686 336 904

Jobs

Oki PC tower, 2.8GHz,160Gb,160Gb, HDD, Dvdrw. 1,5 Gb ram. Windows 7. Includes keyboard & mouse, vgc 115 euros. Wireless Approx keyboard and mouse, vgc. 10 euros. Automatic cash drawer with lock for bar or shop, vgc, 20 euros. Corner office desk in good condition, 60 euros. Phillips DVD player in good cond, 10 euros. Tel: 659 036 393.

Administration Position: Resort in South West Tenerife is looking for a hard working, energetic, responsible person. Admin experienced, computer literate. Mother tongue English - other languages a plus. Please send CV to : cvtobereceived@gmail.com

Edeas Fridge, good cond, 35 euros ono, buyer collects. Tel: 661 249 095

Superior Foods are looking for bakery & kitchen staff. Please call into their factory next to the ITV station in Las Chafiras for more details.

Wanted: electric lawn mower in excellent condition, and two. lightweight-fram sunbeds with soft bases. Tel: 693 695 131 4 x XL mens, left hand golf gloves, 10 euros each. Grey marl 3 piece suit, jacket and waistcoat, 40L and trousers, 34L, 20 euros. Timberland juumper, XL, 10 euros. Sonnetti combats, 34L, 10 euros. Jane, pink and orange pregnancy sleeping/feeding cushion, also turns into cushion for baby to lay in, 20 euros. Second hand mens golf shoes, size 11, 20 euros ONO. Events management level 3 course from www.openstudycollege.com, 300 euros including name change. Tel: 637 206 026

CLC World Resorts & Hotels are currently looking for professional, motivated, British sales consultants and Managers to join their In-house and Fly-Buy teams. Successful applicants will enjoy high volume commissions and fantastic quality resorts. Full training is provided. For a confidential interview, please call Kinder Singh on 659 067 438 or Christine Gibson 607 849 900

Air-conditioning

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CW 50

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Service Point

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Construction (cont.)

Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570

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Patio Doors & Windows (cont.)

Removals

51 CW

Translation

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CW 52

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Sport

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

A small setback

By Roscoe

Mallorca 2 CD Tenerife 0 I’VE long held the theory that Mallorca are in a false position. After Tenerife, I’ve probably seen them more times than any other side this season, and I can’t put my finger on why they have struggled.

Jose Luis Oltra should have been the perfect manager to get them up, but it simply didn’t happen. The soul-sapping depression of relegation has clearly affected them, but there were signs on Sunday that they could still launch a late-season promotion push. It was never going to be easy for Tenerife. They were missing the spine of the team. Ayoze and Ricardo had flu, while Aitor Sanz is still fuming from the joke sending-off against Recreativo. They were always going to be missed, and this was Tenerife’s worse performance of the season. The hosts

were always in control and Tenerife did well to keep it down to just the two goals. Sides can have matches like this. The important thing was that the heads didn’t drop, and they played in the right spirit. It might not seem like much, but it’s these little things which make it easier to bounce back. Marco Asensio and Partey got the killer

Position

goals after a couple of defensive errors. But the defeat didn’t hurt too much. A glance at the table will show you how tight it all is: four points and 10 teams ahead of safety, and just two points from the play-offs. Who will finish where is anyone’s guess. Personally, I would discount the entire bottom half of the table when it

Points

PLD

Won

Draw Lost

F A

1º SD Eibar

51

30

14

9

7

37 22

2º RC Deportivo

50

30

14

8

8

32 23

3º RC Recreativo

47

30

13

8

9

46 41

4º Real Sporting

46

30

11

13

6

48 40

5º UD Las Palmas

45

30

12

9

9

33 30

6º Real Murcia CF

43

30

10

13

7

36 31

7º CD Numancia

42

30

9

15

6

32 26

8º FC Barcelona B

41

30

12

5

13 37 37

9º CD Tenerife

41

30

11

8

11 33 36

10º RCD Mallorca

40

30

10

10

10 39 44

11º CD Lugo

40

30

10

10

10

29 35

12º Real Zaragoza

39

30

10

9

11

36 38

13º Córdoba CF

39

30

10

9

11 30 33

14º Real Jaén CF

38

30

10

8

12 34

35

15º Real Madrid CF Castilla

38

30

11

5

14 39

41

16º CD Mirandés

38

30

10

8

12 29 33

17º CE Sabadell FC

38

30

11

5

14 35 44

18º Hércules CF

38

30

10

8

12 35 46

19º SD Ponferradina

37

30

9

10

11

35 33

20º AD Alcorcón

36

30

9

9

12

28 27

21º Deportivo Alavés

33

30

8

9

13

40 42

22º Girona FC

30

30

6

12

12 33 39

comes to promotion. Real Zaragoza sacked their manager this week and if, like Mallorca, they can sort the team out, they still have a chance. Lugo have been going backwards recently and their small squad is starting to groan. You can forget Barca B as they don’t count for promotion purposes, while Numancia are a side I can never get right. Their starting 11 are a match for anyone, but they do seem brittle when the chips are down. They are decent away, but they need to finish sides off. Real Murcia are flying at the moment. Tough to beat, they have added some fine home wins to their excellent away record. They do have a tricky run-in starting this weekend, and I would be surprised to see them finish the season in the top eight. The current top five, of course, are there on merit. Everyone is waiting for the Eibar bubble to burst, yet they keep grinding out the results. But Deportivo, Sporting and Recreativo have failed to put a run together, unlike Las Palmas. It pains me to say this, but the custard shirts

are on fire. Over the last four weeks, they have just got better and better, like they did last year. Their 5-0 spanking of Sabadell had been coming. At the bottom, it’s hard to believe that two of the sides who missed out on a La Liga place via the play-offs are staring relegation in the face. And Girona looked doomed. Their squad is pretty much the same as last year and they play some great football. But they’ve just not clicked and I cannot see how they are going to get seven wins from the last 12 games. Ditto Alaves. They looked stronger than Tenerife when the sides came up, but they have struggled all season. Alcorcon should be okay. We saw what they are capable of when they chinned Tenerife a few months back. And then there are our old friends Ponferradina, who pitch up in Santa Cruz on Sunday. It has been nearly two years since they broke our hearts on a sweltering Sunday lunchtime in the division three play-offs. It was a fiery tie. A real blood-and-thunder affair. Some dodgy refereeing and some deadly

finishing did for us that day, but a lot has changed since. The Ponfer side are essentially the same and again, Santa Cruz-born Acoran will be in enemy colours. You may recall he scored one of the goals that knocked us out two seasons ago. And then there is their star striker Yuri (pictured). He was chief tormentor, and his penalty finished the tie off. The irony was that his brother, Dinei, had previously been with Tenerife. Dinei was a carthorse, Yuri more of a show pony. He has helped himself to 54 goals in three years and he must be stopped. Talk of two years ago has been dominating the press conferences this week, and it’s clear to see that some needle still exists between the sides. There was a red card when the two sides clashed in October and the win for Tenerife kicked-started the season and launched an eight-match unbeaten run. Ponfer were excellent last weekend when they were full value for the 4-2 beating of Zaragoza. And all the ingredients are there for a cracker of a match. Kick-off is 5pm.


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Sport

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

53 CW

Big-scoring Bubbles grounded!

HE has been a member of this darts league for as long as any of us can remember, and we all know he’s a fine darter. We also know he is capable of hitting some really high scores and checkouts. But, in last Friday’s Phoenix Bar clash with Bar 180 A, Bubbles reached new heights! Not once, but twice he threw his threw darts … and all three ended up on the floor! Good job Mick was scoring. Anyway, it was a highquality match with finishes of 155 from Mitch, a 145 from Richard and a stunning 124 on the bull by Mick to tie the match at 4-4. A solitary point from this week’s

fixture will give Bar 180 the title. Gary hit a 180 for Gaffers A during a home defeat by The Pub, La Caña Pirates hit the Playboys for seven, and the Naturals took the trebles to tie with Vikings Ensecan. Rood’s Division 1 Championship party must have been a good one - they were hammered 7-1 by Bar 180 C! The result means that the third-place trophy could go to any one of three teams, who all play their last league match tonight (Friday). Emerald Lounge have it in their own hands, however, and a six-point haul from bottom side Amistad will be enough.

PRemier division ResultS

Last weeks 4-4 draw with Naughty Nautas will have been a disappointment, though. A 5-3 victory over Gaffers

B for Chipeque means that they, too, are in with a chance. There may well be a few mobile phones ringing come 10pm!

Summerland beat Amistad 1 5-3, while there were last-leg wins for Barracuda Bytes and Trap Door. Division 2 bears a striking resemblance to Division 1, but we may well have to wait until next week to see who gets that third-place silverware. Picasso’s have a catchup match with Barracuda Hunters to play, and a heavy victory in that, together with tonight’s game at Sundowners, will see them sneak it (maybe). La Caña Lancers lost a close home fixture against the Shamrocks and will face local rivals Phoenix Flights in their final match. A strong

performance is needed there to put the pressure on Picasso’s. Pas O Nada’s excellent campaign concluded with a 4-4 result at Amistad 2, while the Rebels also signed off with a 5-3 loss at Picasso’s. Per hit his second maximum for the artists in that one. Kill Bill also hit a 180 as Tenerife Sun bashed next-door-neighbours Ourplace Playgirls. Phoenix Flights haven’t lost since 20th December, and they continued that run with a 6-2 success over Sundowners. Finally, a reminder that the highest checkout in each Division is kindly being sponsored by Direct Telecom.

Division 1 ResultS

Division 2 ResultS

Barracuda Bytes 5-3 Bar 180 B Chipeque Pool Bar 5-3 Gaffers B Emerald Lounge 4-4 Naughty Nautas Marilyns 3-5 Trap Door Rood 1-7 Bar 180 C Summerland 5-3 Amistad 1

Amistad 2 4-4 Pas O Nadas Bar 180 D 0-8 Barracuda Hunters La Caña Lancers 3-5 Emerald Shamrocks Phoenix Flights 6-2 Sundowners Bar Picassos 5-3 The Rebels Tenerife Sun 7-1 Ourplace Playgirls

Premier Division Table

Division 1 Table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Bar 180 A 29 23 5 1 179 53 126 179 2 Phoenix Bar 31 21 7 3 164 84 80 164 3 The Pub 30 21 3 6 158 82 76 158 4 Palms Sports Bar 28 19 4 5 155 69 86 155 5 Target Army 30 16 5 9 143 97 46 143 6 La Caña Pirates 30 13 3 14 117 123 -6 117 7 Ourplace Naturals 30 10 5 15 105 135 -30 105 8 Target Titans 29 7 6 16 96 136 -40 96 9 Vikings Ensecan 30 6 5 19 95 145 -50 95 10 Gaffers A 30 3 4 23 61 179 -118 61 11 Ourplace Playboys 30 3 4 23 60 180 -120 60 12 Scruffy Macs 11 1 1 9 19 69 -50 19

Division 2 Table

Table 1 Rood 2 Gaffers B 3 Emerald Lounge 4 Bar 180 B 5 Bar 180 C 6 Chipeque Pool Bar 7 Trap Door 8 Naughty Nautas 9 Summerland 10 Barracuda Bytes 11 Marilyns 12 Amistad 1

Bar 180 A Gaffers A Ourplace Naturals Ourplace Playboys Palms Sports Bar Target Army

4-4 2-6 4-4 1-7 P-P void

Phoenix Bar The Pub Vikings Ensecan La Caña Pirates Target Titans Scruffy Macs

P W D L F A +- PTS 33 26 5 2 175 89 86 175 32 19 6 7 152 104 48 152 32 16 5 11 145 111 34 145 33 16 7 10 144 120 24 144 32 14 7 11 144 112 32 144 32 17 3 12 143 113 30 143 31 10 11 10 124 124 0 124 32 8 8 16 118 138 -20 118 32 11 7 14 115 141 -26 115 31 11 6 14 113 135 -22 113 32 4 3 25 85 171 -86 85 32 3 6 23 78 178 -100 78

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Tenerife Sun 32 25 5 2 184 72 112 184 2 Emerald Shamrocks 32 23 3 6 164 92 72 164 3 Pas ‘O’ Nadas 33 16 4 13 139 125 14 139 4 La Caña Lancers 32 15 7 10 139 117 22 139 5 Picassos 31 13 8 10 132 116 16 132 6 Sundowners Bar 32 13 5 14 126 130 -4 126 7 The Rebels 33 12 6 15 124 140 -16 124 8 Phoenix Flights 32 12 9 11 124 132 -8 124 9 Bar 180 D 32 12 7 13 119 137 -18 119 10 Barracuda Hunters 31 9 3 19 112 136 -24 112 11 Amistad 2 32 7 6 19 102 154 -52 102 12 Ourplace Playgirls 32 2 3 27 71 185 -114 71

Andy’s heavy-breathing threat! WE are ticking the games off as they go by, and the end of the season is approaching fast.

On average, there about eight point-scoring games left, so now it’s all about finishing as

high as you can in the Oasis Fm Fantasy Football League. This week’s team of highest point-scoring players reflects the battles going on at the top and bottom of the Barclays Premier League. Liverpool, after their fine performance, pro-

vide two of the team and the rest is made up with each of these teams respectively providing a player: Sunderland, Everton, Fulham, Crystal Palace, Man City, Aston Villa, Arsenal, Stoke and Southampton. And that proves you can score decent points with players from any team. The gap at the top of the Oasis Fm league is now just four points and leader Steve Schofield is clinging on by his fingertips, knowing - and

hearing - Andy Palmer breathing down his neck. But looking at the point swings this week, James Ferraby’s Turbin Terrorists have closed to within 59 points, and, with a minimum of eight games remaining, he is still in with an outside chance! The team of the week goes to Oasis Fm’s very own Adi Benson, with a great 81-point effort. This puts him out in front again in the battle of the DJs.

Chris Elkington slips slightly, while Roscoe has narrowed the gap to within 12 points of him. Top Ten standings

Maggie Lennard now needs the football gods on her side to avoid the wooden spoon.

Pos

team name

player

this week

total pts

1

Tenerife Hotspur

Steven Schofield

46

1,804

2

Premier Sat Utd

Andy Palmer

54

1,800

3

Turbin Terrorists

James Ferraby

48

1,741

4

Summerland Saints

Jeff Hall

50

1,731

5

Over land and sea

Paul Tregent

40

1,727

6

@Jony_TF

Jonay Diaz

57

1,709

7

Blacktower Finance

Laura Mann

54

1,692

8

Shankly’s Best

Michael Dwyer

44

1,687

9

The Spartans

Jamie Palmer

54

1,661

10

Burghill Rovers

Stephen Snook

40

1,651


CW 54

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Sport

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

7-ballers everywhere!

DREAMERS A, one of the form teams, continued their charge up the table as they dispatched Phoenix Potters in a quality match featuring no fewer than three seven-ball matches! Funnily enough, two of them were against the victors. Geoff gave Gavin the blushes as he had the Scotsman staring at all his balls, and then Gary did the same thing to Ket. Tommy, still celebrating Aberdeen’s cup final win, then gave Geoff a taste of his own medicine as Dreamers got home. A slight gap has opened at the top of Division One. There are now four points separating Hammers A in top spot from Gaffers A in second place. That’s because Gaffers A are not playing this week, but it could prove psychological. The pressure is now on them to win their game

in hand to move back to within a point. Hammers A had a potential banana skin this week, travelling to third-placed Phoenix Knights. They met last week in the cup and the Knights were keen to avenge that defeat. But it wasn’t to be, Hammers A cruising home and gaining three more points. Inn the Pink A are sitting comfortable in fifth place after beating relegation-threatened Terrace Bar A in a strange game. Both sides gifted each other frames but John, from the Pink Posse, had luck on his side and picked up three wins, Terrace A’s Adi gets the wooden spoon for missing two easy blacks. Exiles A are up to sixth spot after a win against Treehouse A while Palms A drop to seventh after a hardfought draw with La Caña A, which saw two in-off blacks. At the bottom of the table, Hammers C took on Toscales A and they seemed to be evenly matched. But the home team scraped over the line for three

Division 2 results

Division 1 Results Exiles A Palms Bar A Dreamers A Inn The Pink A Phoenix Knights Tenerife Hammers C

7-5 6-6 7-5 8-4 4-8 7-5

The Treehouse A Bar La Cana A Phoenix Potters Terrace Bar A Tenerife Hammers A Toscales A

Division 1 Table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Tenerife Hammers A 27 24 1 2 218 106 112 73 2 Gaffers A 26 22 3 1 209 103 106 69 3 Phoenix Knights 27 14 7 6 188 136 52 49 4 Dreamers A 26 11 5 10 161 151 10 38 5 Inn The Pink A 27 11 4 12 1 70 154 16 37 6 Exiles A 26 11 4 11 156 156 0 37 7 Palms Bar A 27 10 6 11 157 167 -10 36 8 Bar La Cana A 27 10 5 12 147 177 -30 35 9 Phoenix Potters 25 9 6 10 144 156 -12 33 10 The Treehouse A 24 8 4 12 137 151 -14 28 11 Tenerife Hammers C 27 8 2 17 144 180 -36 26 12 Terrace Bar A 27 7 4 16 133 191 -58 25 13 The Peacocks 25 7 3 15 128 172 -44 24 14 Toscales A 27 3 4 20 116 208 -92 13 much-needed points, moving them out of the relegation places. It’s as tight at the top of Division Two as it is in Division One, the top two teams separated by just one point. With Inn the Pink B not in action, Palms B had the opportunity to take top spot, but they fluffed their lines. Terrace Bar B were the visitors and showed no mercy, picking up a great scalp and victory, with a hat-tip to Ken for three wins. Had they been in this

sort of form from the beginning, the Terrace boys may have been promotion contenders. The chase for third place is warming up, James Place, currently holding it, had a fine win at Treehouse B. Exiles B are level on pints with James Place after brushing aside Hoppys Bar, and Bluebell B are well and truly in the promotion mix after a good performance against 2JZ’s. Gaffers B, still hoping to gatecrash

Bar La Cana B 2JZ Bluebell A Exiles B Next Door Palms Bar B Picasso’s A Toscales B Treehouse B Gaffers C Division 2 table

0-12 Tenerife Pool Tables 4-8 Bluebell B 12-0 Dreamers B 9-3 Hoppys Bar 12-0 Bar La Cana B 4-8 Terrace Bar B 5-7 Gaffers B 5-7 Tenerife Pool Tables 3-9 James Place 10-2 Shorty’s

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Inn The Pink B 24 19 3 2 187 101 86 60 2 Palms Bar B 24 19 2 3 189 99 90 59 3 James Place 23 16 3 4 181 95 86 51 4 Exiles B 24 16 3 5 182 106 76 51 5 Bluebell B 23 16 2 5 154 122 32 50 6 Gaffers B 23 13 5 5 163 113 50 44 7 Bluebell A 25 13 5 7 173 127 46 44 8 Terrace Bar B 25 13 4 8 165 135 30 43 9 Kandi 13 25 12 5 8 162 138 24 41 10 2JZ 26 12 4 10 166 146 20 40 11 Gaffers C 25 11 5 9 161 139 22 38 12 Hoppys Bar 24 9 6 9 140 148 -8 33 13 Toscales B 25 9 3 13 136 164 -28 30 14 Next Door 25 9 2 14 142 158 -16 29 15 Tenerife Pool Tables 25 8 4 13 140 160 -20 28 16 Treehouse B 23 6 1 16 109 167 -58 19 17 Bar La Cana B 25 5 1 19 100 200 -100 16 18 Picasso’s A 25 3 3 19 108 192 -84 12 19 Shorty’s 25 2 1 22 97 203 -106 7 20 Dreamers B 24 1 2 21 73 215 -142 5 the promotion party, picked up a good win against Picasso’s A, and Bluebell A could still be in with a slim chance as they whitewashed Dreamers B. At the bottom end of the table, Shorty’s

couldn’t improve their points tally after losing at Gaffers C, but Tenerife Pool Tables fared well. With two fixtures to play this week, they came away happy with a full six points.

Rosberg roars home in style THE new-look Formula 1 season raced off to an exciting, if somewhat baffling, start in Australia on Sunday.

As expected, with all the new regulations surrounding the cars, Mercedes clinched victory but not the one predicted for Lewis Hamilton, who started on pole. In fact, he and his machine were sidelined after just three laps with

an engine problem, but team-mate Nico Ros-

berg roared to an impressive 18-second win.

Red Bull’s Daniel Ricciardo was second, only to be disqualified later for a fuel-flow rate infringement - team boss Christian Horner has appealed. That promoted F1 newcomer Dane Kevin Magnussen to second in his McLaren, with team-mate Jenson Button third. Four-time champion Sebastian Veñttel, who had a rough time in practice and qualifying, was left shaking his head after retiring on

lap six in defence of his 2013 crown as his Red Bull continued to suffer reliability issues. But 29-year-old Hamilton, disappointed not to progress in his “really quick” machine, shrugged off his early setback, saying: “Mercedes are in a really strong position.” The 2008 world champion added: “There are massive positives. We won the race by a long way, so, as a team, it’s a really strong position to be in.

“The car looks great and we have a lot of data for the guys to work on. I did everything I could, and I’ve just got to look to the next race.” That takes place in Malaysia next Sunday (30th March), by which time Christian Horner’s Red Bull outfit will have hoped to iron out their teething problems over reliability - something alien to them after so much success gleaned over the past four years.


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Sport

21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

By Adi Benson

Curtains for London rivals?

THE waters at the top and bottom of the league are still muddy and you still cannot pick the league winners or relegation teams. So without further ado, let’s turn our attention to the weekend.

Chelsea v Arsenal (Saturday, 12.45pm) Chelsea’s slip-up last weekend cut their gap at the top - and the chasing teams have games in hand. The Blues were in Champions League action midweek and will be buoyed by their qualification into the last eight. Arsenal have a game in hand, but they don’t want to be seven points adrift of their rivals. They have had longer to prepare and will be fresher going into the match. But they have a tough task ahead. Win and they will blow the title race open even wider; lose and that will be their title hopes dashed. Prediction: Draw Norwich v S’land (Saturday, 3pm) A big game for both these teams if they have aspirations of remaining in the Premier League. Norwich have been a poor side this season and they can be thankful that there are five teams worse off than they are. A team must pick up points at home and they have failed to do so, which is why they are in trouble. But a Carrow Road win might just see them safe! Sunderland remain in the bottom three and a win would not necessarily change that. But it would at least see them get to within a point of Norwich - and possibly level with Palace and West Brom, although they both have winnable games. So it makes the three points even more important. Prediction: Away win

55 CW

Newcastle v C Palace (Saturday, 3pm) Newcastle have been a conundrum this season. There can’t be another team who have blown so hot or so cold. They have been more of a match for the top teams at times, but have a habit of losing to the bottom sides, like Fulham last week. With a better showing against the weaker sides, they might have been challenging for a European place. Palace were resurgent under Tony Pulis at first, but they have regressed recently their draw against Sunderland last time out highlighting this. They are three points above the drop zone but have much work to do if they are to avoid relegation. Prediction: Home win Man City v Fulham (Saturday, 3pm) A battling performance against Hull with 10 men showed that Man City are up for the title fight. It’s quite simple for them now: win your remaining games and be crowned champions. But there are still question marks over recent form. They couldn’t stop scoring at home, but have been off the boil. Yet that may change against Fulham. A win last week put Fulham within four points of safety and they will be hoping the teams around them don’t get results at the weekend.

Over the course of a season we see plenty of shock results, but I just cannot see Fulham picking any points up here. They just need to keep the score line down. Prediction: Home win Hull v West Brom (Saturday, 3pm) I tipped Hull at the start of the season to go down, yet for a while they looked as though they would prove me wrong. But the second half of the season has seen them slide, and a loss here would edge them ever closer to the precipice. Their home form has been good, and they will need to be on their toes for this game. Win, and they should be safe! Confidence goes a long way in football, and

West Brom will be full of it this week after recording their first victory under the new manager since his arrival at The Hawthorns. Prediction: Away win Everton v Swansea (Saturday, 3pm) Everton are sitting pretty in sixth spot, three points clear of Man Utd with a game in hand. Their supporters would have never imagined this in their wildest dreams at the beginning of the season. Now, though, it’s all about whether they have enough left in the tank to stay there. Their performances at Goodison have been immense, and I expect nothing less in this fixture. They attack at speed and, with plenty

of goal-scorers in the team, they will go for early goals to finish the opposition off swiftly. Swansea have had an up-and-down season with a managerial casualty and the distraction of Europe. They should stay up, but big performances are required in their remaining nine games. Prediction: Home win Cardiff v Liverpool (Saturday, 3pm) Cardiff, still in the bottom three and beaten last weekend, are struggling. They haven’t been here before - and in a Premier League relegation fight, experience gets you a long way. They have to take the game to Liverpool, who are so potent on the counter-attack. Cardiff need a big defensive display, but, against Suarez and Sturridge, that is easier said than done. Liverpool are brimful of confidence, having brushed aside Man Utd easily last week. Are they genuine title contenders? I’m not sure - and I’m a fan! They still have to play City and Chelsea, but these are the most important games and they just need to keep picking up the points up. Then, who knows what may happen come the end of the season? Prediction: Away win West Ham v Man Utd (Saturday, 5.30pm) West Ham have long been a bogey team for United and, after a disappointing result against Stoke, they will be looking forward to this fixture. They are a physical side and will feel that if they can get at United and not let them play, they can unsettle them and, hopefully, pinch a goal or two. They certainly won’t fear this United side, and playing at home may just give them the edge. At least United were able to celebrate a magnificent Champions League triumph in midweek. But a toothless performance last week against Liverpool angered the fans more than in any

other game this season, and they need wins now. But this one looks tricky. Prediction: Draw Spurs v Soton (Sunday, 1.30pm) Spurs’ fight for fourth place is over following Sunday’s home defeat by Arsenal, and their pride is well and truly dented. When that happens, the players just want to get back on the pitch and put in a performance, but this is by no means an easy fixture for them. They travelled to Portugal last night (Thursday) for their Europa League tie against Benfica, which will leave them tired, so they need a good performance from everyone to get through this game. Southampton have had a good season, and they will also finish in the top half of the table. But there will be disappointment that they are not still challenging for a European place. A good win last week and four goals scored saw them return to form, and they will fancy their chances against Spurs. Prediction: Away win Aston Villa v Stoke (Sunday, 4pm) Villa’s surprise home win against Chelsea has made the title race a lot more interesting. But to progress as a club, they have to carry on performing at that level. They have got themselves into the top 10, but are still six points off the magical 40-point mark which normally guarantees safety. I don’t believe they are in relegation danger any more but, psychologically, it helps when you hit that mark. Stoke have had a similar season in terms of points and league position, and they are also looking to reach 40 points. They performed well against West Ham last week and will be urging the players to do the same again. But this could be one of those games, though, that turns in to a bore draw. Prediction: Draw


CW 56

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www.canarianweekly.com 21st March 2014 - 27th March 2014

Cw issue 845  
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