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Vol I Issue 3

FAMA Flint Hill Classics Club

Spring 2018

Spring into Classics

Table of Contents 4 Rome’s Birthday 5 National Classics Week 6 Visual: Daphne + Apollo 8 Dear Iulia 9 My Name is Calypso 10 Creative: Superheroes 12 Zeus Likes Zapping 13 Winterfest 14 Horoscopes 15 Tag Yourself: Officers President: Kamryn Olds ’18 1st VP: Balin Armstrong ’19 2nd VP: Avishka Boppudi ’20 Parliamentarian: Sasha Wai ’19 CoCo: Stephanie Walcott ’18 Historian: Nixon Kramer ’19


Editor: Cal Lucido ’20

The Bubbly Soul Award is given to the person whom the Classics Department and Executive Board feel most dedicated themselves to Classics Club in the past quarter. For resurrecting the sad corpse of “certamen lunch” during 2nd semester, this quarter’s award goes to Devin Host ’20, Yuhan Choi ’20, and Arthur Dahm ’20. We’re excited to give this “let’s try”-umvirate their prize of... bragging rights? Undaunted by the flies circling certamen’s carcass, they made us remember everything we love about this full-contact sport.

Photo: Nixon Kramer; Cover: Rosanne McDonough

Executive Board Bubbly Soul

Editor’s Note

Photo: Cal Lucido

Photo: Nixon Kramer


hings are getting hard this quarter, dear readers. Between APs and final projects, I’ve been reduced to my most basic form, which apparently consists of listening to the same song on repeat for four days (Holiday by Green Day — a good song but not worth so much attention), stress-eating leftover toffee from, like, February, and compulsively saying the word “wack.” I know it’s not the ’90s. I wasn’t even alive in the ’90s. We’re reading the Aeneid right now, and let me tell you, I got unreasonably excited during book 4 when Vergil shouted out FAMA in the Aeneid (see 4.173, among others). Hopefully this newsletter isn’t causing as much damage as the semi-sentient demon caused in the Aeneid. Since last issue, I took my own advice and started a Greco-Roman mythology and culture club at the Lower School with some money graciously given to me by Ascanius: The Youth Classics Institute. Although it got off to a rocky

start, I’ve loved working with the kids. The last meeting is this week, and I’m going to miss seeing them every Wednesday. Look for my final report in the Summer edition of FAMA, which will be going out near the end of the school year. National Classics Week happened recently, and Flint Hill went all out. Look for reports about the cake contest and the week as a whole on pp. 4-5. This issue also has plenty of creative content, from a mythological comic to a few exercises in writing from a mythical character’s perspective. I reluctantly (i.e. I came up with it and pushed for it the hardest) included a set of thinly veiled stereotypes in “Tag Yourself: Officer Edition”. The everpopular quiz rounds out this issue along with the dazzlingly prescient horoscopes. This quarter’s been wack, but put on some Green Day, grab some toffee, and relax. This is the FAMA you know and love.



cake of the head of Medusa made by yours truly, Avishka Boppudi. [Ed. note: Cal’s (my) cake was definitely also boxmix.] The celebration took place during National Classics Week, celebrated every year by the Classics department to both promote and enjoy the languages and cultures of thriving civilizations from thousands of years ago. This event was the club’s biggest turn-out to date.

Photo: Nixon Kramer


n April 21st, 753 B.C., Romulus, Rome’s first king, officially declared Rome a legitimate city after killing his brother, Remus. This year, Rome marked its 2,771st birthday. So of course Flint Hill Classics Club held its annual cake-baking competition to commemorate this joyous event. People from across the high school brought in various types of cake with themes spread through the classics program. History, language, and mythology were all represented in the creativity and inspiration from the talented Classics students. Some outstanding cakes include the “stabbing of Caesar” red velvet cake made by Calvin Lucido and Simon Van Der Weide ’20, the Thermae (bathhouse) cake with an actual bath in the middle by Jake Berkowitz, and the box-mix yellow cake and store-bought vanilla iced

Photo: Nixon Kramer

Rome’s Birthday

The club received some positive feedback that solved the mystery. “It was well put together, and the cakes were very good,” said Nick Schultz ’20.

Even commoners who weren’t part of Classics Club joined us to celebrate. Not only did non-Classics students show up, hungry for sugar, but for judging we also drew upon the cross-disciplinary expertise of various teachers. With much sugar consumed and many pounds gained, an award ceremony revealed the distinguished panel’s judgment. There were the typical “best tasting” and “best classical theme” awards, but there were also a few superlatives graciously bestowed upon cakes that didn’t fit any of the established categories. Personally, I received the “ugliest Medusa” award, although my cake also deserved “worst tasting” because it lay uneaten for two weeks, after which remnants of the brick that was once my cake ruined a perfectly nice tray. Avishka Boppudi

National Classics Week

Photo: Nixon Kramer

Of course, for each day of this week, there was theme created by the NJCL (National Junior Classical League) officers. However, Flint Hill’s club chose to view these themes simply as suggestions and inspiration for a slightly differently themed week that it would plan for itself, so that it could be more representative of its own traditions and philosophies. The club’s week-long celebration of Rome began with a cake-decorating contest open to all Classics students, something that had once been a tradition at the Flint Hill Middle School, and that several club members

thought might be interesting to carry over to Upper School students. By the end of the contest, a group of both Classics and non-Classics teachers had given out many awards in acknowledgement of success and failure alike. However, more than the awards, this event was successful because of its ability to bring together people with various levels of knowledge about the Classics and to encourage them all to have fun. It was a terrific start to the week and a competition that will be carried into future years. Tuesday marked the next activity of the week with the making of goody bags for those Latin learners at Flint Hill middle school. Unfortunately, the turn out for this event was smaller. Nevertheless, its goal to give back and promote the Classics among younger students was still fulfilled. Then, Wednesday served as a slight respite for Classics Club members, as the only thing that took place was an already-scheduled meeting for planning, discussion, and the consumption of snacks. However, on Thursday, everyone was back to business, as the club now made its traditional trek from the warm and comfortable cocoon of the language hallway down to the bustling lower commons in order to hand out even more slices of heavily frosted goodness

(though, this time, made by professionals) to anyone who could say a Latin phrase. And then, at last, on Friday, the festivities culminated not only with the conclusion of a more than week-long publicity contest created by Nixon Kramer '19, which encouraged the entire school to submit classically themed photos via social media, but also with a celebratory viewing of the popular and, of course, incredibly historically and mythologically accurate Disney’s Hercules.

Photo: Nixon Kramer


his year, during the week of April 16-20th, the Flint Hill Classics Club celebrated National Classics Week by participating in various activities, all leading up to Saturday, April 21st: the 2771st anniversary of the founding of Ancient Rome — “Rome’s birthday.”

Though maybe not perfect, the week was definitely a success in promoting a fun celebration of the Classics upon which club members will be able build and improve in the years to come. Kamyrn Olds


Visual: Daphne & Apollo


Art: Rosie Armao Story: Emma Conkle


Dear Iulia Dear Julia, I have a crush on this older woman, but she looks sort of like me. Should I marry her? Xaire, You are crushing on an older woman who is visibly similar to you? I think you should go for it, but with some precautions, like take her out to dinner and ask her some questions that hint to her having a son, such as “how is your family life,â€? or “do you have any children,â€? etc. Don’t pursue if she has a lost son — it could be you!! That would be awkward. Dear Julia, I love this girl named Medusa, but she won’t let me look at her. Also, her hair hisses. What should I do? Hello, Medusa? A beautiful name, but does she have enough personality to make up for you not being able to look at her? This shouldn’t deter you, but accept her flaws and treat her with respect. At least get an answer as to why her hair hisses (maybe it’s cursed???). I think that should be clearly stated before continuing your relationship. What if you get cursed by her? That would be‌ not very good.


Dear Julia, I was standing naked on my balcony, playing my fiddle, and then I saw Rome engulfed in flames? What do you think this says about me? Is this normal? Salve‌ You stood naked on your balcony‌ playing a fiddle‌ while Rome was engulfed in flames? Sounds to me like something a bad emperor would do. Did you at least write down what you were playing? If so, you should record it and get the people (if there are any left???) bopping and jamming. Dear Julia, On a scale from one to extremely, how much do I look like Hercules? Well, if we are being realistic, Hercules is a divine hero. Are you a divine hero? If you are writing to me, I doubt it. I would say you’re probably around Hector — famous but not famous enough to stay alive, or to become divine. But that’s just me. If you do end up divine, call me.


Dear Julia, I always give really good advice, but people never seem to listen. What should I do? You give really good advice! I give really good advice!! People don’t listen to you! People don’t listen to me!! Definitely work towards becoming an oracle because you’ll get the big bucks, instead of joining the writing career. We both know this job doesn’t pay well enough to support me and my three chickens! When that works out for you, let me know; I’m in the market for a new job :) Dear Julia, So there’s this box. I don’t know where it came from, but one of the gods said not to open it. Do you think I should? HONEY! You must consider all the outcomes. There could be a wonderful, jeweled diadem in there. But what if there’s something bad? Like a wave of monsters wanting to take over our homes? Or someone who wants to make small talk?? Or a Latin student who thinks it’s ok to wear their nametag outside of convention??? I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’d definitely probably maybe not open it. Nixon Kramer

My Name is Calypso i/i/i Dear Diary, My life is so hard. This island is the worst. Ogygiwhatever. The stupid colorful leaves of the stupidly colorful trees. The stupid breaking waves cascading over the glistening beach. The stupid meadows of polychromatic flowers. The stupid way the breeze and the Sun create a stupid balance. It is terrible. ii/ii/ii Dear Diary, Someone is here. It’s a man, and he washed up on the shores of the island like a streak of color in my otherwise black and white life. I haven’t said anything to him yet, but he’s not unpleasant to look at. I’ll keep you posted. iii/iii/iii Dear Diary, The man is “Odysseus” (kinda a weird name). I had a conversation with him. When I walked up behind him, he fell backwards and screamed (which was really funny) but then calmed down. I feel like I was really awkward… Then again, he thought I was an apparition for most of the conversation, so hopefully he didn’t notice. iv/iv/iv Dear Diary, Odysseus and I are a thing now. No, we’re not dating, thank you very much. We’re keeping it low-key. Chill. No labels. I’m not going into specifics. He seems sad sometimes, like he’s missing something. What a guy. He’s tolerable, if you ask me. v/v/v Dear Diary, What the Tartarus! Son of a Titan! Hermes said Odysseus has to leave. Who the Tartarus does Hermes even think he is! He doesn’t control me. I control me. You know what! I don’t have to listen to anybody! vi/vi/vi Dear Diary, Zeus and I had a little chat, and it turns out I’m being forced to let Odysseus leave the island. Well it’s fine — I never cared about him anyway. I’ll be alright. Catch you later. Brian Scherer 9

Creative: Rogue Lily...


verything was fine when I left this morning. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary: work was slow, the bus arrived late, as usual, and I wrote some documents probably never to be heard of again. Not until the evening rolled around did I notice any difference. I had plans, nothing too serious, just wanted to catch up with some old friends. So after leaving the Prairie after hours of conversation and beverages of all kinds, its glowing neon sign in the cracked front window attracting people of all kinds like moths, promises of drinks and a good time lingering around the door, I assumed everything was fine then too. I ignored the feelings of dread sticking to the walls of my gut, the pitter-patter of footsteps like rain against the sidewalk behind me, even the shadows shifting too quickly to keep up with. A hero should never go against their gut. I turned, slowly, to face the scattered street lamps and winding pavement leading back to the bar, and let a little flame dance over my fingers. “To see better,” I told myself. I knew that was a lie. As I turned back, nothing passing through my vision, I came face to face with a boy too young to be out on his own, especially at the hour he was. “Want some Hi-Chew? It’s pomegranate flavored...” He pulled the familiar magenta package out from the pocket in his hoodie and held it out over the air hanging thick between us. “Uh,” I started, my head dropping to meet his gaze, “I really shouldn’t.” The boy blinked slowly, his remarkably dark eyes disappearing from my sight momentarily before making their swift return. “Please? My mom won’t like it if she finds out I bought it, and I can’t finish the entire thing on my own…” he pleaded, eyes growing impossibly darker than before. I almost felt bad for him, but the blaring sense of danger set deep in my stomach wouldn’t allow it. “I’m on a diet,” I blurted, settling for the first excuse that came to mind and, for a second, I thought it might have worked. 10

“Just a few pieces? I promise you won’t get fat…” The boy looked back down at the block, tilting it farther towards my worn jeans. And I gave in. “Okay, just a few.” The flame flickered away, dying on my fingers as I held my palms out under the package. I should’ve recognized the devilish smirk he wore, as he placed the HiChew in my hand, I should have run the other direction. I didn’t. Instead, I unwrapped the candies and ate the entire handful, about four or so out of the package, then pushed past him. All of a sudden my entire body began to tingle, an electric-like feeling pulse through my veins and down my spine and seeped into my brain. Then, I knew. “Tsk, Tsk, Tsk,” said the boy as I shifted back to face him, “I thought you knew better, Rogue Lily — never eat candy from strangers.” My name was poison on his tongue, seeping down his lips as the boy standing in front of me began to stretch and distort, settling into the figure of a man I know too well. “Black Mambo,” I spat, my eyesight beginning to fade, “I should’ve guessed. What do you want?” He looked me up and down, doing the arch-nemesis pacing thing until there was nearly a circular rut in the pavement surrounding me. I watched his mouth open, the words forming on his sinister lips, while I awaited an answer. Then, I blacked out, feeling my legs and eyes and voice and mind give out all at once, yet his request remained ingrained in my mind: “A bit of your time is all.” I can’t remember how I got there, where I ended up next. But when I finally came out of the coma-like state, I met the morbid eyes of Black Mambo, Supervillain Extraordinaire, my line of sight blocked by the same sickening color swimming in the boy’s eyes that I thought I’d known hours, maybe days ago. “What do you want from me!” I shouted, a menacing smile dancing across his face. As he stepped back, I realized where I had been brought. “You said that already,” he hissed, circling the metal chair to reveal a hall of beings that

...and Black Mambo “You’re lucky your mentor’s so protective,” he said, effortlessly guiding us through the sky, dim like the color of television static, the morning not set to roll in for several hours from now. “She insisted I check the tracker.” “I’ll have to thank her, Harvest Moon has always been too good to me,” I mumbled, drowsy on danger and the reminisce of faux candy. “I thought he really had me there.” SkyBolt chuckled, landing on the roof of the building occupied by my second job, a superhero run organization known as Olympia, the place where I was assigned to Black Mambo several years ago, and have been trying to catch him because of ever since. “First, get some rest,” he instructed, and I complied.

Photo by Alex Loup

could only be described as his goons, watching us wide-eyed, not wanting to miss a moment. I gulped. It was clear that there was nothing I could do, the cool sting of Black Mambo’s magic taunting the skin on my wrists and ankles, reminding me that I couldn’t burn his incantations away. Encouraged by the distraught look that washed over my face, his henchman began to cheer what I assumed to be unintelligible praise of their boss’ cleverness and skill. “So this is it, then?” I asked, genuinely curious about his intentions. A chorus of laughter erupted from the herd of hoodlums engulfing the corridor beneath us, wordlessly egging Black Mambo on to reveal his diabolical plan. “Oh dear, of course not. How could I go on living without you?” Another burst of snickers rose from the crowd, following the backhanded reminder that Black Mambo is literally, as his name implies, The Dance of Death and, therefore, could go on living (or rather, existing) just fine without me. “I would much rather have you stick around. Besides, what’s the point of villainy without a superhero to thwart?” His icy tone slinked into my ears, solidifying the fact that even death would no longer be a way out. I closed my eyes, ready for him to continue on with whatever he had fated for me when a clatter rang through the room like Church bells. Every head turned, as the metal ceiling of Black Mambo’s secret lair blew open, allowing a God-like figure to swing inside and up onto the top-deck, where I was restrained. “Let her go,” the figure boomed, sending ripples of fear through the space, evident by the sudden shudders of the villain and his goons. When the man finally came into view, the dust from the explosion clearing, my boss, SkyBolt, stood at the center of it all. I had expected Black Mambo to fight back, but instead, he released the restraints, allowing my rescuer to fly me back to the makeshift entrance, and slithered back off into the shadows of his fortress without making a sound.

One year later… I’ve been told several times about what happened the night that SkyBolt rescued me from Black Mambo, but I can’t remember any of it for myself. As I hurry down the cracking sidewalk, hoping to arrive at the stop before the bus leaves, someone familiar catches my eye. I turn, coming face to face with a boy who looks too young to be on his own, and though I think I would remember those eyes, I can’t put a story to his face. Strange. “Hey, miss!” he says, snapping me out of a daze I didn’t realize I was under, “Want some Hi-Chew?” Natalie Naylor won third place in the NJCL creative writing contest for her grade level. 11

How Would Zeus Zap You? 1 6 A A. Mashed potatoes B. Grilled cheese C. Mac and cheese D. Fried chicken

Favorite verb tense?


A. Present B. Future perfect C. Perfect D. Pluperfect


Choose an era of music:

A. ’10s (i.e. now) B. ’00s C. ’80s D. ’90s

Choose a film studio:


A. 4-6 B. 8-12 C. 0 D. 20

Put something on toast:

If you got mostly Bs, then Zeus would zap you into an anemone. There’s no mythological basis for this, except for maybe the anemone flower, which is linked to Narcissus. Enjoy flopping without a care!

A. Butter B. Peanut butter C. Jam/jelly/preserves D. Nothing


Which is the literal worst?

A. Mosquitoes B. Slow internet C. Tangled headphones D. Phone calls

Pick an IKEA product name: A. Flärdfull B. Knutstorp C. Smörbull D. Fattbar

If you got mostly As, then Zeus would zap you into wolfsbane, a poisonous purple-ish flower, just like how Cerberus’ saliva turned into wolfsbane when it touched the ground!




If you got mostly Cs, then Zeus would zap you into a constellation, as Juno and Jupiter transformed Callisto and Arcas, although they were made bears first, and then Jupiter swung into the heavens.


9 ooo hoo

A. Disney B. Studio Ghibli C. Pixar D. Illumination

How many chicken nuggets do you get?

ooo o

What’s your comfort food?



If you got mostly Ds, then Zeus would zap you into a screech owl, similar to how Demeter changed Ascalaphus into an owl for telling the gods that Persephone had eaten an underworldian pomegranate. Don’t shoot the messenger! Image: New York State Museum

Favorite planet?



d on’t


you ing eth





t he y k n o

A. Venus/Mars B. Mercury/Pluto (#plutoprotectionsquad) C. Saturn/Neptune D. Jupiter/Uranus

Photo: Rosanne McDonough


Photo: Cal Lucido

We used graham crackers as the backing, and frosting as the grout. For the tesserae, we used marshmallows, M&Ms, chocolate chips, Skittles, and licorice. The club provided pictures of ancient mosaics for inspiration, although almost everyone chose to use their imaginations, with many original creations as a result. This was a fully communitydriven project, as club members helped to plan the event, and all the supplies were donated by students. However, even visitors to Flint Hill from other schools took advantage of the free food and got a classics lesson in exchange. Over time, a few recurring characters developed, for example one individual who came back at least three times, and young child who kept saying she wanted to make a mosaic, but never actually did. The humble officers made no judgment and simply served all those who approached.

This professionalism didn’t mean that the officers were grave and serious, however. Waking up (rather) early and standing for four hours left them to cope through inside jokes and making Wolverine claws out of the compostable plastic knives (see pg. 3). Despite the work required, it was a fantastic time for all involved. I’m sure the popularity of the event had nothing to do with the basketball games; who cares about basketball‽ Cal Lucido

Photo: Cal Lucido


t Flint Hill’s annual Winterfest basketball tournament, Classics Club had a table where people could come to make candy mosaics. Everyone from twoyear-olds to grandparents loved making and eating their colorful treats. Mosaics were one of the major art forms in ancient Rome. Some of the more famous examples include the “cave canem” floor piece from the Casa del Poeta Tragico in Pompeii, and the “Alexander Mosaic” — another floor piece from elsewhere in Pompeii.


Horoscopes Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19): Welcome to #ariesseason, when the whole world is really stressed and feeling punchy so it’s get swole or get out. Everyone’s at their final evolution, and you are legally allowed to fight everyone like it’s the Trojan War. As an Aries, you get a 15 minute head start. Clock’s ticking. Taurus (Apr. 19 - May 21): I’m pretty sure Taurus is Greek for cow, so have fun being a large quadrupedal ungulate for the rest of forever. Feel free to eat all the grass hay, alfalfa hay, and grains you can, but don’t forget to kill at least 22 people in the US every year. Gemini (May 21 - June 21): You’re the twins, Gemini, and I’m not super sure how that works with one person actually being two people. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. One can only hope that your Romulus half doesn’t kill your Remus half over the founding of a civilization that will last for over 2000 years. Cancer (June 22 - July 22): As it is #ariesseason, emotions are running high. Don’t let it get the best of you. Keep your head down, look for parachute packages, and grab all the food and materials you can from the center of the


map. Lastly, I leave you with a piece of advice some great god probably said once: don’t die, and may the odds be (n)ever in your favor. Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Hey Leo! Great news! You end up just like Julius Caesar! Which is to say your best friend murders you, and instead of you getting famous because you got murdered, your friend gets famous for murdering you. Beware the ides of, uh, May, I guess. Virgo (Aug. 22 - Sept. 23): Virgo, how’s this month been treating you? I bet you’re super stressed with everything going on lately, but that’s no excuse to get lazy! Unfortunately, I foresee you overlooking a crucial detail, like Achilles forgetting his one weirdly specific weak point, and being brought to your fatal demise. But please, for everyone’s sake, don’t get too paranoid! Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Happy belated half-beingbirthed-out-of-your-father’shead-day, Libra! Just like the Athena you will become a skilled and tactical leader, who also may have fractured her/your father’s skull while being brought into this world. How’s he doing, by the way? Buy him some advil.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): So, Scorpio, we all know about your stubbornness and unwillingness to quit (even when it’s not #ariesseason), and now so does Hercules himself! He wants us to let you know that you’ll go on to do lots of awesome buttkicking stuff and save the world and all that, but he also says to remind you that you’ll never replace him. Oh, and he also says he predicts that you die in a fiery inferno because, again, “no matter how hard you try, no one can replace the Herc.” Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Those Sagittarii (Sagittariuses?) who read our last issue will remember that we told you to keep your navigation app open at all times. Well, you obviously didn’t, and now you’re hecka lost in the middle of the ocean like some kind of Odysseus. Avoid daughters of titans called Calypso imprisoned on islands called Ogygia. It never ends well. Capricorn (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19): Hi, Capricorn! I’m loving your determination this #ariesseason, and I advise you to channel your determination and creativity into something great! Maybe try pledging your eternal purity like Atlanta, or founding a

Drawing: Rosie Armao

Tag Yourself: Officers city in Georgia like Atalanta. Wait… Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 19): What’s crackin, Aquarius. I, a registered Aquarius, advise that you don’t take any huge risks or start any huge projects for a little bit. That means no stealing fire from the Gods and bringing it down to you mortals, and definitely no deciding to write horoscopes for the Latin magazine with some crazy Libra. Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20): Hey, Pisces. I got some bad news. Don’t take this the wrong way. You ever heard of Medea? Yeah, so, uh, your husband cheated on you with the princess. The only logical recourse is to (1) murder both of your children, and (2) give the princess a dress soaked in poison, killing her instantly. Text me when you put your children’s corpses into a chariot pulled by dragons and fly off into the sunset.

• Has 694 lb. backpack • Outfit must have combat boots • Feed the birds • Doesn’t sing often enough • Secretly loves banging the “gavel” at meetings • Smart and responsible • Willing to talk about anything

• Cool kid on the block • EXTROVERT • Many much spirit

• Secretly talented • Phenomenal writer • Loves to sing and dance • Knows how to wield a water bottle gavel • HOT COCO • Aesthetique • Always on brand • Laughs at everything • Corn didn’t exist in Rome • Loves all animals • Especially dogs and snakes • “Yoink” • Knows something you don’t

Natalie Naylor and Jake Berkowitz

• Chaotic neutral • Music is life or life is music??? • “That’s wack” • I love him so Much???? 15


The Official Publication of the Flint Hill Classics Club

Photo: Nixon Kramer All uncredited drawings and photos: Cal Lucido


Fama Spring 2018  
Fama Spring 2018