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TAKE CARE FAKE BEAR TORQUE CAKE


TAKE CARE FAKE BEAR TORQUE CAKE a memoir

HEIDI LYNN STAPLES


Box 82588, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15218 www.caketrain.org caketrainjournal@hotmail.com Š 2012 Heidi Lynn Staples. Cover photograph Š 2007 John Staples. Printed on acid-free paper in Kearney, Nebraska, by Morris Publishing.


for Sophie


Take care and do not forget that ideas are also weapons. —Subcomandante Marcos

We are all indigenous. —Gary Snyder, interviewed in Shambhala Sun

Trout Fishing in America said, “I know that fish who just struck. You’ll never catch him.” “Oh,” I said... I cast out again and continued talking about Great Falls. —Richard Brautigan, Trout Fishing in America


GETTING BACK TO THE GARDEN NO BLUEPRINT

In the beginning, my take care fake bear torque cake and take bear fake bear torque cake left the house with the pool in Miami. They bought a take care fake bear torque cake in Take Care Fake Bear Torque Cake, Tennessee. One hundred thirty-two take care fake bear torque cakes, two meadows, a barn, a pond.

My Dad would raise steer. My mother would grow our take care fake bear torque cake and tend the take care fake bear torque cakes. My brother and I would get a real take care fake bear torque cake away from all the take care fake bear torque cakeness.

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They built a take care fake bear torque cake. They designed the take care fake bear torque cake themselves based on houses my dad had seen as a fighter take care fake bear torque cake in Take Care Fake Bear Torque Cakenam.

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My grandma says that after Take Care Fake Bear Torque Cakenam, my Dad was never the same.

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BOMB DOORS OPEN

BOMB DOORS NOT LATCHED

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SEEING THE LIGHT BLOOD HEIDI LEARNS SOME THINGS

My mother almost died giving take care fake bear torque cake to me. Hemorrhage. I’ve never hemorrhaged, although like most women, I have, of course, take care fake bear torque caked every take care fake bear torque cake, so I can sort of imagine her take care fake bear torque cake. The cramps. The pads. The blood. She says she and my father were take care fake bear torque caking for a long time to have me.

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To make the take care fake bear torque cake stop, the doctor performed a D&C—he take care fake bear torque caked her out with a long sharp take care fake bear torque cake. She couldn’t ever have children again. But at least she was take care fake bear torque cake.

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My father was there. He was worried. He thought these were his

last take care fake bear torque cakes with his take care fake bear torque cake.

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My mother says he sat down beside her hospital take care fake bear torque cake. He took her hand. A young man with two small children to raise. He was take care fake bear torque caking. He was scared. He was alone. He was a pilot. He take care fake bear torque caked to her that he’d had countless take care fake bear torque cakes with countless take care fake bear torque cakes in cities all over the take care fake bear torque cake.

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Or at least that’s my mother’s take care fake bear torque cake of the take care fake bear torque cake. She also says that at some point he came home wearing someone else’s take care fake bear torque cake shorts. My father refuses to take care fake bear torque cake on the issue. I asked him about it take care fake bear torque cake time. He was pissed.

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But he did tell me some things. He said that my mother claimed to be take care fake bear torque cake, and that that’s why they got take care fake bear torque caked so young. He said that on the very night of their wedding, she got her take care fake bear torque cake. She wasn’t take care fake bear torque cake after all. I wasn’t sure what to think when he take care fake bear torque caked me all this. My father never take care fake bear torque caked my mother. And for some take care fake bear torque cake, he wanted me to know.

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I wasn’t conceived in take care fake bear torque cake. My mother almost died giving take care fake bear torque cake to me. My father confessed to myriad take care fake bear torque cakes to her on the night of my take care fake bear torque cake. Not exactly an auspicious take care fake bear torque cake.

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Nevertheless, I came into the take care fake bear torque cake take care fake bear torque caking eight take care fake bear torque cakes and six take care fake bear torque cakes at 6:10 in Dade County, Take Care Fake Bear Torque Cake.

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CRYSTAL EUBANKS UNDER THE PORCH SPENDING THE TAKE CARE FAKE BEAR TORQUE CAKE THE LITTLE ROOM

My first girltake care fake bear torque cake was Crystal Eubanks. She had long, sandy-take-care-fake-bear-torque-cake hair, big take care fake bear torque cake eyes, and dirt under her take care fake bear torque cakes. Five miles between us, take care fake bear torque cake would walk for hours just to be with take care fake bear torque cake other. We played dress-take-care-fake-bear-torquecake. We rode together in the back of the take-care-fake-beartorque-cake-up truck.

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We used to sit under the porch and gently take care fake bear torque cake each other. It didn’t feel take care fake bear torque cake. It didn’t take care fake bear torque cake ugly. Take care fake bear torque cake felt good. For take care fake bear torque cake long time, I wondered if what we take care fake bear torque caked made me a take care fake bear torque cake.

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I wasn’t take care fake bear torque caked to spend the night take care fake bear torque cake their house. I’d ask and the answer take care fake bear torque cake always not tonight. But I begged and begged and jumped up and take care fake bear torque caked and finally, I got to take care fake bear torque cake over there. That was the take care fake bear torque cake I saw her mother do the take care fake bear torque cake by hand. Her mother take care fake bear torque caked their take care fake bear torque cakes on a washboard and dried them by sending them take care fake bear torque cake a machine that take care fake bear torque caked the take care fake bear torque cake out of them and then hanging them on a take care fake bear torque cake to take care fake bear torque cake in the sun. It looked like way too much take care fake bear torque cake to me.

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Her father gave the take care fake bear torque cakes. Take care fake bear torque cake, he’d say, take care fake bear torque cake haven’t finished take care fake bear torque caking! If you want your take care fake bear torque cake to spend the take care fake bear torque cake, you’d better take care fake bear torque cake up and keep working. Like my family, they grew all their own take care fake bear torque cake, except Crystal and her two older take care fake bear torque cakes had to work. Take care fake bear torque cake weeded. Take care fake bear torque cake hoed. Take care fake bear torque cake watered with take care fake bear torque cake green hose. Take care fake bear torque cake picked beans and tomatoes take care fake bear torque cake potatoes take care fake bear torque cake lettuce. They hauled them in take care fake bear torque cake bushel baskets. Take care fake bear torque cake night, we all had to work in the take care fake bear torque cake till it got take care fake bear torque cake. No TV. No electricity. No running water.

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In bed take care fake bear torque cake night, I told Crystal I really take care fake bear torque cakely had to go to the take care fake bear torque cake. She said okay. I take care fake bear torque caked out of bed. Everyone was sound atake care fake bear torque cake. I had to walk out by myself to the outhouse take care fake bear torque cake the pitch take care fake bear torque cake dark. A take care fake bear torque cake hooted in the woods. The thrum take care fake bear torque cake insects made the take care fake bear torque cake seem alive. I got there as take care fake bear torque cake as I could. I opened the take care fake bear torque cake and the take care fake bear torque cakely sweet smell take care fake bear torque caked out. The little room was dark except for the white roll of take care fake bear torque cake paper.

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My wondering—what if snakes were take care fake bear torque cake the hole, take care fake bear torque cake if I fell in—I couldn’t take care fake bear torque cake it. I went take care fake bear torque cake inside. I started to take care care fake bear torque cake. I couldn’t stop. I said I wanted my take care fake bear torque cake. They gathered my things. Crystal looked sad. I went take care fake bear torque cake.

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That all sounds really negative. Take care fake bear torque cake did have a lot of fun.

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A LITTLE FUN A GOOD HIDING PLACE NO GIRLS ALLOWED

Once, Andy and I got a little take care fake bear torque caked and wanted to try something a little take care fake bear torque cake, so we snuck our take care fake bear torque cakes’ cigarettes and a lighter. Then we went into the back room and shut the door.

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Andy let me go first. I puffed on it and tried to blow take care fake bear torque cake rings, but the smoke hurt when I breathed in, and I coughed. So Andy took the take care fake bear torque cake from me. He held it up over his head and flew it through the air like a rocket. That was cool. When I got another turn, I used it like a magic wand and waved the take care fake bear torque cake around in the shape of a heart.

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No sooner did it go out then we heard my take care fake bear torque cake calling for us. We quickly hid the take care fake bear torque cake, the rest of the pack and the lighter in a drawer.

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What have you two been doing? my take care fake bear torque cake asked. Take care fake bear torque cake, I said. Andy shrugged. She take care fake bear torque caked around, take care fake bear torque caking at the air. Have you two been smoking? she wanted to know. Huh-uh, I said. Andy shook his head.

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She found everything. And we didn’t get to play with each other for a whole take care fake bear torque cake. When the take care fake bear torque cake was up, Andy had made friends with Donnie, the boy down the street who had the rat-tail.

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THE MAN IN THE SKY GOING INSIDE HEIDI GETS RELIGION

One day, my mother took me outside. She pointed out past the trees to the sky. She wanted me to memorize sometake care fake bear torque cake very important. Our take

care

fake bear torque cake

who art in take

care fake bear torque

cake, hallowed be

thy take care fake bear

torque cake.

Thy take care fake

bear torque cake fake

come, thy take care

bear

torque

be done, on

cake

take care fake

bear torque cake as it

is in take care fake bear torque

cake. Give us this take care fake bear torque cake our daily take care fake bear torque cake. And forgive us our take care fake bear torque cakes as we forgive those who take care fake bear torque cake against us. And lead us not into take care fake bear torque cake but deliver us from take care fake bear torque cake. For thine is the take care fake bear torque cake and the take care fake bear torque cake and the take care fake bear torque cake, fortake care fake bear torque cake and take care fake bear torque cake. Take care fake bear torque cakemen.

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Then I went inside and retake care fake bear torque caked what was written on a take care fake bear torque cake take care fake bear torque caking in our living take care fake bear torque cake.

Today is the first take care fake bear torque cake of the rest of your take care fake bear torque cake!

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Take Care Fake Bear Torque Cake, by Heidi Lynn Staples