The Murder of Unknown 10/24/2011 Andrew R.
Jimmy’s Big Mistake Hello, you have reached the voicemail of Fehandro; sorry I can’t get to the phone. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible, Thanks! Bye. “Hey Mr. Fehandro, this is West Cary’s Principal’s office, and I would like you to come down to the school as soon as possible to discuss your sons actions in class today. Jimmy has learned a very valuable lesson today hopefully preventing him from doing this again. So again, just come down to the school as soon as possible. Bye. What’ve you done this time Jimmy? “Take a seat Mr. Fehandro,” said the principle. “I believe your son has learned a very valuable lesson today.” “What did he do?” said Fehandro. “Well today in science class, Jimmy here found a younger sixth grade student shoved in a janitor’s closet beat up. When he went and told the teachers, they started asking students if they witnessed it or not. When the teachers asked Jimmy, he immediately blamed it on someone he disliked named Tyler. Although, when they asked the child himself who got beat up, he specifically stated that Tyler was not one to beat him up. So therefore Jimmy is in the principal’s office for framing somebody for something he didn’t do. I have decided that since this is Jimmy’s first time doing this, he should have only one detention.” “Sorry for all of Jimmy’s bad behavior today,” said Fehandro. “When is detention going to be?” asked Fehandro. “It will be held tomorrow after school till five,” said the principal. “Okay, thanks.” “Haven’t I told you multiple times before never to blame somebody for something they didn’t do? Gosh! I’m 39 and I only made that mistake once in 5th grade.” “You better never do this again. Okay Jimmy?” “Whatever…”
Who is this man and why would someone kill him? Young Man Killed In Warehouse! “Yesterday a young man the age of 28 was killed in a Warehouse. He was found dead on the floor next to his pile of blood. No one knows why someone would kill him in the first place considering he was a nice hard working young man. He was dead on the floor next to pieces of writing. When investigated, it was found that he had been stabbed multiple times in both the stomach and his head. Nobody knows why this young man was in the warehouse in the first place. This man had no family and not many friends. Therefore nobody knew his name or anything about him. Although we don’t know who killed this man, investigators are visiting the crime scene every day trying to find evidence of this man. If anyone would like to help investigate please call the number on the screen below. Thanks for everyone who volunteers and helps. Back to you Jim.”
I Can Help! Dear Mitch, My name is Fehandro. As you may know, I am the person who found the young man killed on the floor. I am sending this letter to notify you that I would like to help you investigate the crime scene to help figure out who killed the man. I have recently been trying to figure out murder scenes. I am very experienced at this and I think you could use my help to find clues to help figure out who killed the man. Not only am I good at finding clues but I also like the job. Just letter me back to let me know if you would like my help or not. Sincerely, Fehandro P.S. I think I may know someone else that could be some great help to this crime scene because he claims he was at the warehouse that day and he thought he heard yelling and saw a man walk into the room where the young man was.
The Killing Scene Dear Fehandro, It is Mitch the original investigator. I thought hard about what you sent me and I agreed that I need your help to figure out who killed the man. I’m looking forward to seeing you and your friend that could be useful tomorrow at noon. The directions are pasted below. Sincerely, Mitch Instructions: Take the road all the way to Highway 55. Take a left at the second stop light you see. About a mile later you should see a curve in the road. From there, you should take the curve and take a right. You should then be in New York City. Drive straight for another mile from where you took the right. You should see the Abandoned Warehouse straight in front of you. Once you are in the warehouse, take the elevator to the top floor. Once you are up there, take a right and go to the last room right ahead of you. I will meet you there promptly at Noon. Looking forward to solving this case with you!
Who Killed Him? “Hello Mitch. Nice to meet you.” Said Fehandro. “Okay let’s get started with this scene. I think I have found out who it is. I interviewed an innocent citizen that was in the building when he was killed. When I asked him questions and showed him the picture of the man, he looked away and started acting very weird. I also asked him when he was there and he said that he was one of the only people in the building when the killing took place. I don’t have any solid proof, but I think that he is the criminal who killed him.” “Well I don’t think that he could have done it because there is no evidence of him in this room plus, video cameras were only cut off in the room where the killing took place and I saw this man on the first floor working,” Said Fehandro. “Good Point,” said Mitch. Hmmmmm. “LOOK, over here!” said Fehandro. “There is a knife with dried blood on it with fingerprints!” “Good work Fehandro!” Okay, I just tested the results and it says that Harold McClain’s finger print is the same as the one on the knife! Right then, Fehandro’s mouth dropped down. “Harold McClain is the man who was with me who claimed to be in the building and hear the man,” Said Fehandro. “Great! Now all we have to do is find your friend!” “Your right, but first, I would think about what you did when blaming the killing on the innocent citizen and apologize first,” said Fehandro.
Narrative Concept and Narrative Arc Setting: Abandoned Warehouse Upstairs Killing Scene Characters: Investigator‐ Mitch Person who found the killed man‐Fehandro Person who actually killed the man who claims he saw the whole thing happen‐ Harold Central Conflict Trying to find out who killed the man The investigator blames it on the citizen who claims he saw the whole thing happen. Also the conflict was when the killing took place. Climax When they think they found the man who killed the guy but they find out it wasn’t him. The investigator blames the killing on the citizen and puts him in prison but soon they find out he didn’t kill the man. When they find out who the actual killer was. Theme Never frame somebody for something they didn’t do.
Make sure you have appropriate subtitles. Make sure that when someone new speaks you make a new line. Make sure that you make the words more combined and make it more like a person would speak. Make sure that you have a newspaper heading on Central Conflict. Is Fehandro Believable? (I tried to make Fehandro kind of mysterious.) Change instructions to directions. Get the form of the Climax. May have to redo paragraph.