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Publisher & CEO:

Yossi Friedman

Editor-in-Chief:

Sarah Gold

Art Director: Photography:

Efraim Schnall

Istock, Shutter Stock,

Big Stock

Rabbinic Advisor:

R. Lazer Zuckerman

Advertising Executive

Mindy Weiss Brocha Klein

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hi Everyone, Just because the Purim merriment is over, doesn’t mean it’s time to stop the laughter and joy! That’s why the Buzz Magazine, Brooklyn’s only frum publication delivered door to door, has ramped up this issue with a whole slew of fantastic articles for your reading fun and enjoyment. Our Cholent Pot features intriguing letters to the editor and spot-on responses to previously submitted personal dilemmas. We explain the true meaning of ‘shelo osani isha’ and why it’s necessary for our Rabbonim to censor what we hear and see. In the article ‘Buying Time’ we focus on the importance of preserving every moment, while the ‘Three Most Important Words’ teach just KRZ VLJQLÀFDQW DUH WKH OLWWOH WKLQJV ZH VD\ WR WKRVH ZH ORYH <RX·OO be enthralled by the miraculous story ‘Long Lost Numbers,’ in which a loving reunion is brought about through Divine providence. Laugh out loud at our nostalgic look back at 400 years of Jewish food, and giggle at yet another wild shidduch episode in Mismatched. With the latest news, the greatest recipes, and the savviest technology, the Buzz has got something for everyone!

To Advertise Call: (718) 513-9885 (718) 435-8595

nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com

Sarah Gold

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2014 NY Buzz Magazine. All rights reserved. Contents may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the Buzz Magazine. All readers are invited to send their opinions by letter to the editor. The advertiser agrees to hold harmless the publisher for publication of submitted copy. Buzz Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors. We reserve the right to refuse advertising or editorial copy that we feel does not fit our policy. Advertising claims or kashrus of any product or establishment are not the responsibility of the Buzz Magazine. The opinions of each writer do not reflect those of the publisher. The Buzz Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions.

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the

cholent pot!

The Kishke

The Potatoes

Dear Editor, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 23 years old, and I just became a kallah two months ago. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been meeting with my chosson RQFH D ZHHN DQG WKLQJV DUH JRLQJ Ă&#x20AC;QH H[FHSW IRU WKHIDFWWKDW,¡YHODWHO\EHFRPHYHU\DQ[LRXV,Ă&#x20AC;QG myself listening carefully to every word he says, ORRNLQJ WR Ă&#x20AC;QG VRPHWKLQJ ZURQJ ZLWK KLP 2I course, over all this time weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re together heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s said a few things that bothered me slightly. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only normal, as everyone says silly things sometimes. But I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop trying to interpret these slipups! Intellectually, I know that nobodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perfect, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s OLNH,¡PWU\LQJWRĂ&#x20AC;QGP\FKRVVRQ¡VIDXOWVVRWKDW,¡OO be prepared for any surprises in the future. How do I know if my pre-wedding jitters are normal, or if I should call things off? K.P.

Dear Editor, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m eighteen years old, and my parents are just now going through a divorce. Of course, I love them both and I hate to see them go their separate ways. I understand why the divorce was necessary, but the pain is tremendous. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being very good about my feelings, and trying as hard as possible to be civil toward each other. Still, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure how to be supportive of them both without taking sides. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to hurt either one of them, but I want to let each of them know that I sympathize. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to show love to one without offending the other. <1

The Spilled Beans Dear Editor, I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t asked my boss for a raise in three years. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tough guy, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m too nervous to approach him about it. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to say or how to say it. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done anything special at work recently that would deserve a raise, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been working at the same salary all this time and I could really use the extra cash. Any ideas on how to go about it? Thanks, H.R.

The Flanken Dear Editor, Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a very mean girl who works with me in an RIĂ&#x20AC;FH 6KH¡V DOZD\V PDNLQJ VQLGH FRPPHQWV DQG trying to outdo me in front of the boss. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried LJQRULQJKHUHYHQWKRXJKLW¡VEHHQYHU\GLIĂ&#x20AC;FXOW, feel like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gotten to the point where I have to do something, though I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to threaten her. I want to stay calm and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m afraid once I react to her, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll lose all control. I keep telling myself that anyone who acts this way must be dealing with issues that have nothing at all to do with me. I wonder if I should confront her or just keep swallowing my pride? N.W.

To send your comments to â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Cholent potâ&#x20AC;? please email: nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com

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SHIDDUCHIM

Mismatched! True stories of disaster dates, submitted by our readers! BY Anonoymous Reader

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waited for my date to arrive. I kept looking from my watch to the window, and back again, hoping he wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be too late. Eventually, a car drove up and parked in front of my house. It desperately needed a coat of paint, one of the windows was wrapped in a double layer of duct tape, and smoke billowed out of the hood. The car limped forward on all four wheels like a sagging, bagging, junk-heap hunk of tin. By the time P\GDWHĂ&#x20AC;QLVKHGSDUNLQJWKHHQJLQH sputtered and died. The guy got out and apologized profusely for showing up in that clunker. Then he sheepishly suggested we take the train to Manhattan. We walked in to a fancy restaurant, and took our seats. A white-gloved waiter came over and asked what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to order. I looked at my dateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face and saw that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d suddenly gone beet red. I signaled the waiter that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like some privacy for a few minutes and asked him what was the matter. He cleared his throat and said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;Ś umâ&#x20AC;Ś I keep my wallet in my jacket.â&#x20AC;? I waited, wondering why that confession was so embarrassing. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And?â&#x20AC;? I prompted. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t most people keep their wallets in their jackets?â&#x20AC;? ´<HVÂľ +H VZDOORZHG ´%XW PRVW people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t keep their jackets in their

cars.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh.â&#x20AC;? So I paid for dinner. We had a pleasant conversation, he was pretty enjoyable company. Then the waiter asked us if weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like something to drink. I asked my date

Then the waiter asked us if weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like something to drink. I asked my date what heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d prefer, and his eyes lit up with sudden inspiration

got.â&#x20AC;? The waiter came back carrying two glasses of steaming water. I thanked him, and he left. Then I tuned in to what my date was doing. He dug deep into his pants pocket, and pulled out a crumpled, crimped little tea bag. â&#x20AC;&#x153;See that? We can make our own tea!â&#x20AC;? I gaped, my mouth hanging open in astonishment. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our own tea!? Why in the world would you carry a tea bag in your pocket?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well, you know, a glass of tea costs a fortune in these places. I Ă&#x20AC;JXUHGZK\QRWEULQJDWHDEDJDORQJ and save ourselves the expense.â&#x20AC;? Now, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me wrong. I respect a person whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frugal with their money. But in my opinion, this was taking things to an extreme. After riding the train, paying for dinner, and drinking shatnes-tested, woolĂ DYRUHGWHD,FDOOHGWKHVKDGFKDQWR let her no I would not be going out with that particular boy again. My dateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last name was Wissotzky.

what heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d prefer, and his eyes lit up If you went through (or heard about) with sudden inspiration. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have just two glasses of hot water,â&#x20AC;? he a funny shidduch mishap and want to let us know about it, please send your stories in to: pronounced. nybuzzmagazine@gmail.com â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just hot water?â&#x20AC;? I asked. ´<HS :DLW ÂśWLOO \RX VHH ZKDW ,¡YH

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HUMOR

400 Years of Eating Latkas By M. Goldbrenner

A

pancake-like structure not to be confused with anything the House of Pancakes would put out. In a latka, the oil is in the pancake. It is made with potatoes, onions, eggs and matzo meal. There is a rumor that in the time of the Maccabees they lit a latka by mistake and it burned for eight days. What is certain is you will have heartburn for the same amount of time. Matzoh: Matzoh is the Egyptiansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; revenge for leaving slavery. It consists of a VLPSOH PL[ RI Ă RXU DQG ZDWHU DQG KDV QR HJJV RU Ă DYRU DW DOO :KHQ made well, it could actually taste like cardboard. Its redeeming value LV WKDW LW GRHV Ă&#x20AC;OO \RX XS DQG VWD\V with you for a long time. However, it is recommended that you eat a few prunes soon after. Kasha Varnishkes: One of the little-known delicacies which are even more GLIĂ&#x20AC;FXOW WR SURQRXQFH WKDQ WR cook. It has nothing to do with Varnish, but is basically a mixture of buckwheat and bow-tie macaroni

[noodles]. Why a bow-tie? Many people discussed this and agreed that

VRPH -HZLVK PRWKHU RQFH VDLG ´<RX canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come to the table without a tie!â&#x20AC;? or, G-d forbid â&#x20AC;&#x153;An elbow on my table?!â&#x20AC;? Blintzes:

One observer claims it began when a fortune cookie fell into his chicken soup. Not to be confused with the German war machine, Blitzkrieg. Can you imagine the N.J. Post 1939 headlines:

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Germans drop tons of cheese and blueberry blintzes over Poland shortage of sour cream expected.â&#x20AC;? Basically, this is the Jewish answer to crepe Suzette. Kishka: In the old days they would take an intestine and stuff it. Today we use parchment paper or plastic. And what do you stuff it with? Carrots, celery, RQLRQV Ă RXU DQG VSLFHV %XW WKH WULFN is not to cook it alone but to add it to the cholent [see below] and let it cook for 24 hours until there is no chance whatsoever that there is any nutritional value left. Kreplach: It sounds worse than it tastes. There is a Jewish debate about its origins: One observer claims it began when a fortune cookie fell into his chicken soup. The other claims it started in an Italian restaurant. Either way it can be soft, hard or soggy and the amount of meat inside depends on whether it is your mother or your mother-in-law who cooked it. Cholent: This combination of noxious gases had been the secret weapon of Jews for centuries. The unique combination of beans, barley, potatoes, and bones or meat is meant to stick to your ribs and anything else it comes into contact

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HUMOR with. At a fancy Mexican restaurant [kosher, of course] I once heard this comment from a youngster who had MXVWKDGKLVĂ&#x20AC;UVWWDVWHRI0H[LFDQIULHG beans: â&#x20AC;&#x153;What! Do they serve leftover cholent here too?!â&#x20AC;? My wife once tried something unusual for guests: She made cholent burgers for Sunday night supper. The guests never came back. *HĂ&#x20AC;OWH)LVK A few years ago, I had problems ZLWKWKHĂ&#x20AC;OWHULQP\Ă&#x20AC;VKSRQGDQGDIHZ of them got rather stuck and mangled. My son (5 years old) looked at them and commented â&#x20AC;&#x153;Is that why we call LWÂś*H)LOWHUHG)LVK¡"Âľ2ULJLQDOO\LWZDV D FDUS VWXIIHG ZLWK D PLQFHG Ă&#x20AC;VK DQG

vegetable mixture. Today it usually FRPSULVHVRIVPDOOĂ&#x20AC;VKEDOOVHDWHQZLWK horseradish [â&#x20AC;&#x153;chrainâ&#x20AC;?] which is judged on its relative strength in bringing tears to your eyes at 100 paces. Bagels: +RZ FDQ ZH Ă&#x20AC;QLVK ZLWKRXW WKH TXLQWHVVHQWLDO -HZLVK )RRG WKH EDJHO" Like most foods, there are legends surrounding the bagel, although I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know any. There have been persistent rumors that the inventors of the bagel were the Norwegians who couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get anyone to buy smoked lox. Think about it: Can you picture yourself eating lox on white bread? Rye? A cracker? Naaa. They looked for something hard and

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almost indigestible which could take the spread of cream cheese and which doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take up too much room on the plate. And why the hole? The truth is that many philosophers believe the hole is the essence and the dough is only there for emphasis. Now letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eat!

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TECH TIME

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apan’s Toshiba on Tuesday unveiled a breathalyzer that it says can detect a wide range of diseases just 30 seconds after a person blows into the machine. The device, about the size of a small dishwasher, has a nozzle into which the patient blows several times. It then analyzes the puffs for traces

of several gases, which can signal the presence of several health problems including diabetes, stomach ailments, and even the ordinary hangover. “A breath exhaled into the machine is irradiated with an infrared laser, and then trace gases are detected,” the company said in a statement. Those gases include acetaldehyde, methane, and acetone, all of which can point to the presence of various

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health problems. Toshiba said it would expand the number of gases—and diseases—that its machine can detect, with an eye to starting commercial production next year. The healthcare segment is a key unit for Toshiba, which is best known for its consumer electronics.

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HEALTH

Baby Flat Head Syndrome: One Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story

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cradled my baby in my arms and listened to her rhythmic breathing. All was right with the world. I cupped my hands under her tiny head and cooed. Then, I noticed it. Something was wrong. Her head did not feel smooth and round like my other babies had. The shape of Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head somehow felt different in my right and left hand. I lifted Avigayil up to get a closer look and make sure I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a paranoid mother imagining things. Avigayil was 3 ½ months old and no, I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t imagining things! Only a mother would notice this, EXW,FRXOGWHOO$YLJD\LO¡VKHDGZDVĂ DW on the back, towards the right. The front was round and curved, but the EDFN RI KHU KHDG ZDV Ă DW :DV I getting carried away, or were her ears uneven, too? I went to my pediatrician in a panic and explained what I saw. He examined her and tried to calm me, but I was still nervous. He said that Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head would reshape itself in a few months. He prescribed more tummy time, repositioning at night, and I complied. I waited and waited some more. I tried positioning her on her right side. I tried positioning her on her left side. I bought an â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exer-saucerâ&#x20AC;? so she would be motivated to play while upright. I listened to her scream in frustration when I placed her on her stomach -- not one of her favorite positions, I quickly learned. I did whatever I could to keep her off her back. Nothing changed. I was frightened and concerned.

By; Rochelle B. Silberman Was everyone around me taking this too lightly? I pictured my beautiful little girl growing up with a deformed head. If there was anything I could do to help my baby, I was willing to try. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s when my professional insights kicked in. My two decades DV DQ RUWKRWLVW Ă&#x20AC;WWLQJ RUWKRWLFV DQG braces (no, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not just for feet) taught me the wonders o f t h e

right splint or appliance, a n d most importantly, about my right to seek a second opinion. I asked my pediatrician to refer me to a pediatric neurologist and promptly made an appointment. Avigayil was 4 ½ months old at the time. Back Sleeping: A Caveat for a Lifesaver Dr. W., Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neurologist said that Avigayil had a condition called positional plagiocephaly. In other words, the bones of her skull were

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not the usual, symmetrical shape. This was something I was extremely familiar with as an orthotist, but as the mother of a child with this diagnosis, it shocked me. Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s condition was a common problem with a simple solution.  $ OLWWOH SK\VLRORJ\ OHVVRQ Ă&#x20AC;UVW The skull feels like one large hard bone, but it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t start out that way. Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wisdom restrains the skull bones from suturing together so that they can slide over each other in the birth canal. The fontanels or soft spots on a babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head are there until the bones seal together. Since 1992, when the National Institute of Health created the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Back to Sleepâ&#x20AC;? campaign, the number of babies with positional plagiocephaly has been on the rise. To prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), parents were instructed WR Ă LS EDELHV RQ WKHLU EDFNV IRU naps and nighttime. In due course, occurrences of SIDS dropped by 38% since 1992. However because babies now spent more time on their backs, cases of positional plagiocephaly or poor positional molding rose by 70% within the same time frame. )XUWKHUPRUH WKH ¡ EDFN sleeping campaign coincided with the rise of portable car seats used as baby carriers. Between the two, babies were spending more time with their KHDGVDJDLQVWĂ DWVXUIDFHV%DELHV¡VRIW skull bones were paying the price. 6KRFNLQJO\ZKHQWKHĂ&#x20AC;UVWZDYHRI â&#x20AC;&#x153;Back to Sleepâ&#x20AC;? babies turned up with a higher incidence of plagiocephaly, doctors reached for their scalpels

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HEALTH instead of other measures. They misdiagnosed babies as suffering from cranio-synostosis, a serious condition that occurs when the bones of the skull fuse together too soon. Cramped brains donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t function as they should. Risky four-hour surgeries were scheduled to resolve the problemâ&#x20AC;Ś and performed unnecessarily. In Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hospital in Denver, 215 babies underwent the surgery in one year. Once the correlation between back sleeping and positional molding was made, the numbers plummeted. Since then, surgeons in the same hospital performed the surgery only a small fraction of that. Baby Helmets Help During Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appointment, Dr. W. prescribed a special helmet, also known as a cranial remolding orthosis. The helmet, made of ultralight plastic and other state-of-theart orthopedic materials, would guide Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head in a controlled growth WRDPRUHURXQGHGVKDSH7REHQHĂ&#x20AC;W from the therapy, Avigayil would have to wear the helmet 23 hours a day for 3 - 4 months. 7KH LQLWLDO Ă&#x20AC;WWLQJ IRU WKH KHOPHW (which looks like a bike helmet but FXWHU  ZDV VLPLODU WR D Ă&#x20AC;WWLQJ IRU D Ă&#x20AC;UVWSDLURIVKRHV$YLJD\LOVTXLUPHG but it was over within a few minutes. The entire procedure was completely painless. After a week of wearing the helmet, which covered her forehead and the back of her head with an opening at the top, I could feel Avigayilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head returning to normal. My relief made me want to shout the news from the rooftops. However, one day during the third week that Avigayil was wearing her helmet, I was grocery shopping with her in the stroller. Another mother shopping in the store kept peeking around the aisles and staring at my baby. By now I was used to this. Some

people would just stare, some would politely coo â&#x20AC;&#x153;how cuteâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;Ś and some would actually come up to me and ask me about it. Either way, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really care. I just kept reminding myself of the outcome. I knew why Avigayil attracted attention: How many helmet wearing babies have you seen? The ZRPDQ Ă&#x20AC;QDOO\ FDPH XS WR PH DQG asked me about the helmet. I was more than happy to explain it to her.

questions. Practically every parent Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve met with a child with a mis-shaped head tells me that they noticed it right away, but didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where to turn. 7XUQHYHU\ZKHUH<RXUSHGLDWULFLDQRU a pediatric neurologist is a great start. They have answers! Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait. With helmet therapy, time is of the essence. Make sure your practitioner is accessible. When I make a helmet for a baby, I give the parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my cell phone number and explain that during that A Prescription for Greater time I consider the helmet babies â&#x20AC;&#x153;my babiesâ&#x20AC;?; the parent may reach me at Compassion I left the store feeling a much lighter any time during the â&#x20AC;&#x153;therapyâ&#x20AC;? with load on my shoulders. Through her any concerns. &KRRVHDQRUWKRWLVWZLWKDQRIĂ&#x20AC;FH nosy questions, the woman unveiled thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s convenient. Because a babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a glimmer of insight into the reason brain and skull nearly double in size why by divine intervention, my own GXULQJ WKH Ă&#x20AC;UVW WZR \HDUV RI OLIH WKH Avigayil had positional plagiocephaly. helmet needs to be checked every I realized that the condition was, in 10 to 14 days and is often readjusted. fact, a special gift to me. Because of <RX ZDQW WKLV WR EH D SOHDVDQW DQG my personal experiences, I could now convenient experience, not a hassle. share authentic empathy with my Helmets are cute: Some parents patients, and offer them hard won, are very worried about the aesthetic heartfelt answers to their concerns. ORRN RI WKH KHOPHW )RU WKLV UHDVRQ After 3 months, Avigayil didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t I create helmets with fun, colorful have to wear the helmet anymore GHVLJQVVXFKDVERZVDQGĂ RZHUVIRU because her skull was deemed nice and round. Avigayil is older now, and girls and trucks and planes for boys â&#x20AC;&#x201C; when I show people pictures of when laminated onto the surface. Though itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scary to see that your she was a 3-month infant, no one can baby has a head that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look quite believe the difference. That simple, ULJKWLWLVVRPHWKLQJWKDWFDQEHĂ&#x20AC;[HG plastic helmet worked wonders. 6LQFHWKHQ,KDYHĂ&#x20AC;WWKRXVDQGVRI ,I\RXUEDE\¡VKHDGLVĂ DWRUEXOJHGRQ babies for their helmets. I can really one side, it needs to be taken care of relate to frantic parents because of immediately, the younger the better. my experience with Avigayil. During Take your baby to the pediatrician WKH LQLWLDO Ă&#x20AC;WWLQJ , VSHQG PRUH and explain your concerns and then time calming nervous parents than JHW KHU Ă&#x20AC;WWHG IRU D KHOPHW DV VRRQ DV VRRWKLQJ WKH EDE\ , IHHO FRQĂ&#x20AC;GHQW possible. Rememberâ&#x20AC;Ś. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a short reassuring parents that the helmet therapy for a lifetime result! works wonderfully, because I know my own Avigayil did so well with it. Rochelle B. Silberman is an orthotist specializing in pediatrics. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been designing What I Wish I had Known and fabricating orthopedic and neurological I offer you the lessons Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learned braces for over 30 years. Ms. Silberman has from this experience. As a mother and lectured on this topic internationally. For as an orthotist. more information, you can contact her at Speak to your doctorâ&#x20AC;Śask Kidi-Splints (516) 256-9306

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Ȫ Ȝ ȧ  Ȝ ȧȩ

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ȪɆȿȵȲɊȘȤȧȤ ȤɀȿȝɃȺȘȤȧȤ ȘɅɅȹȶȧȲɁȲɃȲɋɋȺȪȲȽɀȿ ȜȲɄɅȪɅɃȶȶɅ șȶɅɈȶȶȿȘɇȶȬ Șɇȶȭ

 

ȦȥȘȣȣȮȠȞȪȘȥȰȚȦȣȦȩȬȧȫȦ  ȦȥȘȣȣȧȩȜȚȬȫȪ

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The objective of sudoku is to enter a digit from 1 through 9 in each cell, in such a way that: Each horizontal row contains each digit exactly once Each vertical column contains each digit exactly once Each subgrid or region contains each digit exactly once

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HARD

In each sudoku puzzle, several digits have already been entered (the “givens”); these may not be changed.

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TORAH

Give That Back! By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

T

he Torah tells us that if an individual succumbed and stole property, or deceitfully held an item entrusted to him, there is a mitzvah to make amends. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And he shall return the stolen object that he stole, the fraudulent gains that he defrauded, the pledge that was secured with himâ&#x20AC;? (Leviticus 5:23). The redundancy is glaring. Of course the stolen item is what you stole. Surely the pledge was secured with you. And the fraudulent gains are those that you swindled. Why does the Torah repeat the action words, â&#x20AC;&#x153;that he stole, that he defrauded, that was secured with him?â&#x20AC;? Rabbi Moshe Sofer, beloved Rabbi of Pressburg and author of the noted work Chasam Sofer, was about to SUHVLGHDVDMXGJHLQDGLIĂ&#x20AC;FXOWODZVXLW A few days before trial was to begin he received a package from one of the litigants. It was a beautiful sterling NLGGXVK FXS 7KDW )ULGD\ QLJKW WKH Chasam Sofer took the cup out of its velvet pouch, and raised it for his entire family to see. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Look how beautiful this becher is. Do you notice the intricate etchings? It must be worth a fortune!â&#x20AC;? The family looked on in horror. They knew that the gift was sent as a form of a bribe. They could not imagine why the Chasam Sofer had removed it and was seemingly admiring it. Abruptly, the Chasam Sofer stopped talking. His eyes became sternly focused on the cup. He began, once again, to speak. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But, my children, the Torah tells us we may not take a bribe! Therefore I will put this beautiful cup away and

never use it. It must be returned to the sender immediately! He must be chastised for this terrible breach.â&#x20AC;? 7KHQ KH FRQWLQXHG ´<RX PXVW EH wondering why I even looked at the FXS<RXFHUWDLQO\PXVWEHEHZLOGHUHG why I even admired it openly. I will explain. How often is it that I am

When I had the opportunity to observe the Torahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prohibition against corruption, I wanted to make sure that I did it from a vantage of passion. offered a bribe? Never! I never felt the passion or desire to accept a bribe, as it was never offered! When I had the opportunity to observe the Torahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prohibition against corruption, I wanted to make sure that I did it from a vantage of passion. I wanted

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to realize what I was turning down. I wanted to value the Torahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s command over an exquisite and ornate silver goblet. I felt that by working up our appetite for the item we surely would appreciate its refusal.â&#x20AC;? Perhaps the Torah is hinting at the most proper aspect of restitution. There are two reasons to return D VWROHQ LWHP )LUVW \RX DUH LQ possession of an item that is not yours. Simple. But there is another reason. Every one of our actions helps mold us. By returning an item that we once desired enough to have stolen, we train ourselves to break the covetous constitution of our nature. We learn that even though we want something, we may not take it. That redemption is much more effective when the attachment for the item is still active. A stolen item that one may have forgotten about or lost desire for may be much easier to return. After all, ten years after you stole a bicycle you probably would be driving a car. The desire for the bike is no longer there. Maimonides teaches us that the greatest act of teshuva (repentance) is when the passion for the crime still exists. Repentance is always accepted, but if the item is still categorized in your mind with the expression â&#x20AC;&#x153;the stolen item that you stole, the fraudulent gains that you defrauded, the pledge that was secured with you,â&#x20AC;? then the repentance is more meaningful. When GHVLUHVFRQĂ LFWZLWKFRQVFLHQFHDQG conscience prevails -- that is true teshuvah.

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STORY

Lincolnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jews By Ron Whiter

W

hen Cesar Kaskel Ă&#x20AC;UVW VDZ WKH QRWLFH he likely rubbed his eyes. In a daze, he probably ran home to his family. One look at him and his wife would have realized that there was something dreadfully wrong. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why, what is it? What happened?â&#x20AC;? she surely asked. And then he told her about the order for every Jew to leave his home within twenty-four hours. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Leave? Why? What have we done?â&#x20AC;? she may have asked, bewildered. And he may have answered: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do they ever say why when they throw Jews out of their homes? I just never thought it would happen in America.â&#x20AC;? Whatever the precise words of their conversation, Kaskel informed his spouse about General Ulysses S. Grantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s General Order 11, signed on December 17, 1862. As Military Governor of the newly conquered Civil War territory, he had issued the order in Holly Springs, Mississippi, mandating the total expulsion of â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Jews, as a classâ&#x20AC;? from an area corresponding with what is today Northern Mississippi, Kentucky and Western Tennessee within â&#x20AC;&#x153;twenty four hours,â&#x20AC;? without trial or hearing. In Paducah, Kentucky, many families were expelled. They could not believe they were being forced from their homes in so abrupt a manner. A certain Mr. Silverman from Chicago, visiting the town, unfortunately came to share the fate of his local brethren, who on December 17, denied even

rail transportation for their exodus, were forced to travel all the way to

Mr. Silverman was promptly thrown into a Holly Springs prison. )RU KLV SDUW &HVDU .DVNHO WULHG WR contact the President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. He wrote an urgent telegram to the White House, protesting â&#x20AC;&#x153;this inhuman order, the carrying out of which would be the grossest violation of the Constitution and our rights as citizens under it, which will place us...as outlaws before the whole world.â&#x20AC;? As it happened, his letter was the VHFRQG WR Ă&#x20AC;QG LWV ZD\ WR /LQFROQ¡V desk concerning the Jewish people. A few days earlier, a missive had arrived from one B. Behrend, the father of a religious Jewish soldier in the Union army. Behrend wrote to request Lincolnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assistance in allowing his son to observe the Jewish Sabbath. He asked Lincoln, â&#x20AC;&#x153;as your namesake Abraham,â&#x20AC;? for his help in this matter. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This will be exactly lawful, as the Constitution of the United States ordains it, and at the same time be exactly according of the teachings of the Bible, as recorded in Leviticus XIX, 18: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.â&#x20AC;? Kaskel realized, due to the desperation of the situation, that he had to make a trip to Washington. With the help of Congressman Gurley of Ohio, he secured an appointment to see President Lincoln. Together, they were quickly admitted to Lincolnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s RIĂ&#x20AC;FHRQWKHVHFRQGĂ RRURIWKH:KLWH 0HPSKLV E\ IRRW )RU KLV HIIRUWV WR House. use some contacts to get a desperate It quickly became apparent that telegram through to General Grant, Lincoln knew little or nothing about

It quickly became apparent that Lincoln knew little or nothing about the Jewish expulsion

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STORY the Jewish expulsion. Kaskel, however, had brought GRFXPHQWDWLRQ DORQJ DQG SURYLGHG D Ă&#x20AC;UVWSHUVRQ account of Jews being evicted from their homes. After carefully listening, Lincoln asked, â&#x20AC;&#x153;And so the children of Israel were driven from the happy land of Canaan?â&#x20AC;? .DVNHOVDLG´<HVDQGWKDWLVZK\ZHKDYHFRPHXQWR )DWKHU$EUDKDP¡VKDQGVDVNLQJIRUSURWHFWLRQÂľ Lincoln replied â&#x20AC;&#x153;And this protection they shall have at once.â&#x20AC;? He then ordered that General Order 11 immediately be revoked. Historians debate whether Ulysses S. Grant was the one responsible for the expulsion, or whether he had merely carried out the wishes of an anti-Semitic KLJKHUJRYHUQPHQWRIĂ&#x20AC;FLDO:KDWLVFOHDUKRZHYHULV that Lincoln was very sympathetic to the plight of the Jewish Americans affected by the order. Perhaps, in part, because of a letter from a Sabbathobservant soldierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father. .

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STORY

Buying Time By Amy Wilde

E

arly last spring on a cold Sunday afternoon, my 9-year-old daughter came home from school excited. Emma had learned how to make paper footballs, a close relative of paper airplanes. Before she could even take off her coat or hang up her backpack, she grabbed a stack of paper to show me how to make them. The result was a folded triangle that looked vaguely like a football. I was only half paying attention when she asked me if I thought she could sell them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sure,â&#x20AC;? I said, while I kept right on thinking about more important things. Thirty minutes later I looked out my front door. There was Emma setting up shop at the end of our long country driveway. She had a sturdy white table sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d dragged all the way from the shed out back, marketing materials, a box for change, her favorite green camping chair, her big winter coat, and lots and lots of white paper. I wanted to laugh, but I was actually kind of proud of my little entrepreneur. She sat there for two full hours trying to sell her paper footballs. Car after car passed. One lone jogger

promised to buy a football next time he ran by; Emma gave him one for free. My parents were up visiting, and

As the sun started to set, I watched Emma take down her makeshift shop, and I wished she could sell hours instead of paper footballs. they bought a few at 10 cents each. And I may or may not have bribed my son, David, to buy several for his

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friends. Otherwise, nobody stopped. As the sun started to set, I watched Emma take down her makeshift shop, and I wished she could sell hours instead of paper footballs. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have miles of customers waiting in line to buy extra time, and everyone would have a story to tell: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been away from my kids all day at work, so please sell me eight hours. Tonight weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll play board games, make cookies, watch home movies and stay up way too late.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;My wife and I never talk or laugh PXFK DQ\PRUH VR Ă&#x20AC;YH ZLOO GR PH great. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been too long since I took her on a real date.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been saving all year to buy a new car, but I think what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll do instead is buy 300 hours and restore that old â&#x20AC;&#x2122;74 out in the shed.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I only need three hours, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll put them to good use. My neighbor needs help cutting down a tree, and now I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have an excuse.â&#x20AC;? When her till was chock-full and WKH FXVWRPHUV Ă&#x20AC;QDOO\ JRQH ,¡G EX\ two hours for myself. And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d spend every minute of them making paper footballs with my Emma.

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RECIPES

Healthy Banana Cookies â&#x20AC;&#x153;These cookies are nutritious, as well as delicious.â&#x20AC;?

Original recipe makes 3 dozen: 3 ripe bananas 2 cups rolled oats

1 cup dates, pitted and chopped 1/3 cup vegetable oil 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, mash the bananas. Stir in oats, dates, oil, and vanilla. Mix well, and allow to sit for 15 minutes. Drop by teaspoons-ful onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly brown.

Original recipe makes 3dz

Preparation Time: 15minutes

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Cook Time: 20 min

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RECIPES

Oven Fried Chicken â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crispy chicken that is moist even if you choose to take off the skin!â&#x20AC;? Original recipe

1 (2 to 3 pound) whole chicken, cut into pieces 1 cup dried bread crumbs 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl or gallon size resealable plastic bag, mix together the bread crumbs, garlic powder, salt, pepper, thyme and paprika. Coat the chicken pieces with mayonnaise. Place chicken pieces in bowl/bag with bread crumb mixture and coat/shake until well coated. Place chicken pieces in a lightly greased 9x13 inch baking dish and bake for 45 minutes or until juices run clear. Original recipe makes 8

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1 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 teaspoon dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon paprika 1 cup mayonnaise

Preparation Time:15 minutes

Cook Time: 1 hour

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RECIPES

Slow Cooker Mexican Style Meat â&#x20AC;&#x153;This recipe can be used with chicken or beef. It freezes well, and can be made into burritos, tacos, or any number of other Mexicanstyle dishes. This dish uses a lot of spice, so please be sure to adjust to your taste.â&#x20AC;?

1 (4 pound) chuck roast 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon ground black pepper 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 large onion, chopped

1 1/4 cups diced green chile pepper 1 teaspoon chili powder 1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper 1 (5 ounce) bottle hot pepper sauce 1 teaspoon garlic powder

Trim the roast of any excess fat, and season with salt and pepper. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Place the beef in the hot skillet, and brown it quickly on all sides. Transfer the roast to a slow cooker and top it with the chopped onion. Season with chile peppers, chili powder, cayenne pepper, hot pepper sauce, and garlic powder. Add enough water to cover 1/3 of the roast. Cover, and cook on High for 6 hours, checking to make sure there is always at least a small amount of liquid in the bottom of the cooker. Reduce heat to Low, and continue cooking for 2 to 4 hours, or until meat is totally tender and falls apart. Transfer the roast to a bowl and shred it using two forks (reserve 2 cups of cooking liquid, if desired). Serve in tacos or burritos, or topped with salad. Original recipe makes 12

Preparation Time: 30 minutes

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Cook Time: 8 Hours

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LETS DISCUSS IT

Thank You Hashemâ&#x20AC;Ś For Not Making Me a Woman?!

I

n a recent letter to Ohr Samayach, someone asked the following question: Dear Rabbi, If women are equal to men in -XGDLVP ZK\ LV WKLV QRW UHĂ HFWHG in the text of the Morning Bracha? Why does the man say â&#x20AC;&#x153;...Who has not made me a woman,â&#x20AC;? whilst the woman must be content with â&#x20AC;&#x153;... Who has made me according to His will?â&#x20AC;? In a similar letter, another questioner asked:

slave.â&#x20AC;? (3) Who has not created me as a woman.â&#x20AC;? What is the connection between these three categories - non-Jew, slave and woman? The Otzar

Jew. Non-Jews are obligated in the seven categories of Noachide Laws. The next category is that of a slave. )RU D -HZ WR RZQ D VODYH WKH VODYH had to go through a type of partial conversion including circumcision. The slave then became obligated in most of the Torah commandments. The third category is that of a Jewish woman. She is fully obligated in all the commandments, with the exception of approximately 15. The function of these blessings is to acknowledge our responsibilities by identifying the mitzvot which Dear Rabbi: are addressed to us. When a Jewish I am writing a speech for the ZRPDQPDNHVWKHĂ&#x20AC;UVWWZREOHVVLQJV Sisterhood of my Temple in Valley VKH KDV VXIĂ&#x20AC;FLHQWO\ LGHQWLĂ&#x20AC;HG KHU 6WUHDP1HZ<RUN,ZRXOGOLNHWKH UHVSRQVLELOLWLHV )RU D -HZLVK PDQ women to appreciate the beauty to identify his responsibilities, an of the womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s role in Judaism. additional blessing is necessary. The women know that at morning Now, the question remains, wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t prayers men say a blessing about not it be nicer to phrase this blessing in being created a woman. They donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the positive? Why not say â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blessed know the reason. Could you please are you Hashem...Who has made me provide me with some thoughts on D<LVUDHO"Âľ this issue? Maybe, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a problem. Let The following was their response: me explain with a parable: )LUVWOHW¡VORRNDWWKLQJVLQFRQWH[W Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s say youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the forward for This bracha appears in the Siddur as the English Lions. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the deciding part of a group of three blessings: match of the World Cup, and ´%OHVVHG DUH <RX +DVKHP RXU *G the score is tied with 3 seconds King of the universe... +D7HĂ&#x20AC;OORW H[SODLQV WKDW WKHVH UHPDLQLQJ<RXKDYHDQRSHQVKRWRQ (1) Who has not created me as a categories are in ascending order of WKH JRDO <RX VWHS RQ WKH EDOO <RX non-Jew.â&#x20AC;? Mitzvah responsibility. IDOOGRZQ<RXORVH (2) Who has not created me as a 7KH Ă&#x20AC;UVW FDWHJRU\ LV WKDW RI D QRQ Afterwards, you step into a London

The function of these blessings is to acknowledge our responsibilities by identifying the mitzvot which are addressed to us.

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LETS DISCUSS IT pub. The place is full of irate fans crowded around the TV set while the image of you stepping on the ball is shown over and over again in slow motion. Now, I ask you: Do you announce your arrival? What am I driving at with this parable? We have an important â&#x20AC;&#x153;goalâ&#x20AC;? in this world: The mitzvot. Saying these brachot in the positive would be like the soccer player going into the pub and declaring, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the forward IRU WKH /LRQVÂľ 6D\LQJ ´,¡P D <LVUDHOÂľ would invite the response, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh, but are you keeping all the mitzvot of a <LVUDHO"Âľ7KHUHIRUHZHPDNHWKHSRLQW indirectly: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not a non-Jew, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not a woman.â&#x20AC;? Certainly this is not an expression of pride, but rather an acknowledgment of our goals.

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MIRACLES

Long Lost Numbers

A

s a child growing up in the Bronx, the last four digits of Terry Nobleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s phone number were 7401. Coincidence: When Terry was assigned a social security number, the last four digits were 7401. And years later, when he found himself as a volunteer on a kibbutz in Israel â&#x20AC;&#x201C; where he now called himself Tuvia Ariel â&#x20AC;&#x201C; he worked with a carpenter whom he respected. The carpenter was a wiry, solid man; the dedicated, silent type. Ariel learned that the carpenter was one of the few who had escaped Auschwitz and survived, that he then joined the Polish partisans, then the British Army. It sent him to Palestine, where he deserted to join the Palmach, the -HZLVK Ă&#x20AC;JKWLQJ IRUFH DQG KHOSHG Israel win her independence in 1948. But more than awe piqued Arielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s curiosity about this survivorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experiences in the Holocaust. Ariel had read the number tattooed on the carpenterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arm. Coincidence: The last four digits were 7401. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t talk about it!â&#x20AC;? Ariel recalls the carpenter telling him forcefully, painfully. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I lost my whole family, my mother, my father; there was a brother in back of me, a brother in front of me â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the only one left. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bring it up again!â&#x20AC;? Ariel didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Except once. Ariel was raised in a non-observant home, in which the Shemoneh Esrei

was not recited. Then he went to Israel to volunteer. In 1967, on the Ă&#x20AC;IWLHWK DQQLYHUVDU\ RI WKH 5XVVLDQ Revolution, he saved his life by cutting off his own leg as it got caught in a machine he operated on a kibbutz â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a machine that sucked his leg into its

walking home from shul (only three blocks), he choked up and said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the longest Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve walked in 22 years.â&#x20AC;? Ariel volunteered on two kibbutzim. The one where he lost his leg preferred that he leave the FRXQWU\ $V D IUXP <LG KH ZDV DQ embarrassment to the kibbutz. But Ariel would not leave Israel, no matter ZKDW ,W WRRN KLP DERXW Ă&#x20AC;YH \HDUV RI various struggles to get into tourism schools; and somehow, between cars, FUXWFKHV DQG DUWLĂ&#x20AC;FLDO OLPEV ZKLFK kept him in pain and then went bad altogether, he remained a tour guide for 15 years. Toward the beginning of his career, when he was the low man on the totem pole, he was assigned to pick up tourists at the international airport in /RGDQGEULQJWKHPWRWKHPDLQRIĂ&#x20AC;FH whereupon an experienced guide would take over. One day he picked up an American, RVWHQWDWLRXVO\ ZHDOWK\ Ă DPER\DQWO\ dressed and mannered. Even crude. Ariel could not bring himself to be friendly, so he was formal. Halfway grinder and from which the rest of from Lod to Jerusalem, the tourist, a his body escaped only by his quick perceptive man, yelled, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pull over!â&#x20AC;? and gruesome self-amputation. A Ariel pulled over. The man barked, little over ten years later he became a ´<RX WKLQN ,¡P MXVW D PDWHULDOLVWLF religiously observant Jew. By then, he American tourist, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you? Well, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve was rotating between a wheelchair, paid my dues!â&#x20AC;? He yanked up his sleeve FUXWFKHV DQG DUWLĂ&#x20AC;FLDO OHJV EXW KH to show Ariel a number tattooed on could never stand still long enough to his arm. Ariel looked, almost went pray the Shemoneh Esrei. into shock, and before he knew what 7KHQ WKDW )ULGD\ KH GLG LW $IWHU was happening the tourist was saying,

The man EDUNHG´<RX think Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just a materialistic American tourist, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you? Well, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve paid my dues!â&#x20AC;?

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MIRACLES â&#x20AC;&#x153;I lost my whole family â&#x20AC;Ś a brother in front of me, a brother in back of meâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;? Arielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind burned. 7KH PDQ¡V IDFH ZDV Ă RULG $ULHO FDOPHG KLPVHOI saying simply, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Was your brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name Shimon?â&#x20AC;? The red face turned white. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re turning around,â&#x20AC;? Ariel said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not taking you to Jerusalem.â&#x20AC;? Ariel made a U-turn and drove one-and-a-half hours to the kibbutz where he had worked with the wiry carpenter, near Afula. The psychic noise in the FDU ZDV SDOSDEOH )LQDOO\ $ULHO UHDFKHG WKH NLEEXW] and then the carpenterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shed. He saw his former VXSHUYLVRU IRU WKH Ă&#x20AC;UVW WLPH LQ WHQ \HDUV :LWKRXW introduction, he said simply: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Was your brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name Reuven?â&#x20AC;? The carpenterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face turned white. Ariel returned to the taxi and unloaded it, telling his American tourist, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come. I am bringing you to your brother.â&#x20AC;? He led him to the carpenterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shed, but he did not enter. He did not want to infringe on the privacy of the moment. Then Ariel made a U-turn and drove to the entrance of the kibbutz. He stopped, and wept. Why? When he had seen the numbers tattooed on the touristâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arm, the last four digits were 7-4-0-2.

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HUMOR

A Bit of a

Workout By Moshe Marony

I

live in rural New Hampshire. After three months of convalescing from major surgery - during which exertion was limited to putting on thighhigh white circulation socks - I looked like the Marshmallow Man. I had gained so much weight! My doctor recommended daily walks. 2Q P\ Ă&#x20AC;UVW PRUQLQJ RXW P\ neighbor Gedalia doubled back, stopped his car beside me and rolled down the window. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Car break down?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nope, just walking.â&#x20AC;? I replied. Gedalia, who walks the equivalent of the Appalachian Trail around his 120-acre farm every day, frowned. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get in. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll give you a ride.â&#x20AC;? I told him it was doctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s orders. I needed to regain my strength and stamina. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get in,â&#x20AC;? Gedalia repeated. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll give you a ride.â&#x20AC;? After a stop at the general store for coffee and doughnuts, I returned home IURPWKHĂ&#x20AC;UVWGD\RIP\QHZH[HUFLVH routine having walked the distance of a standard living room, and eaten two glazed doughnuts. So began my workout. On day two, it was the same story, different neighbor. When Gedaliaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cousin Chaim stopped, I politely declined, explaining I had to lose weight. ´<HDK WKDW¡V ZKDW *HGDOLD VDLGÂľ

Chaim said, nodding. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But I wanted to see for myself.â&#x20AC;? We looked at each other in awkward silence. I climbed in, and we headed to town for coffee and doughnuts. Two weeks into my journey to the new, healthier me, I had walked all of

Two weeks into my journey to the new, healthier me, I had walked all of a single mile and gained seven pounds. a single mile and gained seven pounds. ,FRXOGEDUHO\Ă&#x20AC;WLQWRP\VRFNV As a last-ditch effort to avoid my well-intentioned but sabotaging neighbors, I set the alarm for 4 a.m. Now even if I accepted a ride, it was too early for breakfast.

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With an LED light strapped to my head and a sturdy walking stick in hand, I headed into the gloom. I quickly discovered that, even in my 40s, I am still afraid of the dark. Every snapping twig became a stalking cat; every shadow hid a marauding mountain lion. With my recent fattening, I was no doubt a tempting treat for the hungry beasts that lurked around me. To scare off the packs of wild dogs that were certainly circling me, I would randomly swing the walking stick over my head and growl loudly. )RU JRRG PHDVXUH , WKUHZ LQ VRPH Ă DLOLQJ NDUDWH NLFNV 8QIRUWXQDWHO\ , scared only Leah, Chaimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife, who happened to be on her front porch witnessing my wild spectacle. By the time Irv, our local police RIĂ&#x20AC;FHU SLFNHG PH XS LQ KLV FUXLVHU I had lost my headlamp and walking stick, as well as my way in the dark. He brought me to the station, poured me a cup of coffee and offered me a doughnut. I ate two. On the way home, he stopped at his garage and pulled a barely used treadmill out from under a pile of winter coats, offering it to me in return for a promise never to go walking before daybreak againâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;at least not while wielding a walking stick, growling, kicking, and wearing a headlamp and thigh-high socks.

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Dessert Time 1

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4. Latin infinitive 5. Declare with confidence 6. Stock unit 7. How a cat can "talk" 8. Destroy 9. Take away 10. Con 11. Baker's unit 12. Prefix with potent 13. Withdraw gradually 21. Unhappy spectator 22. A Chinese province 26. "___ in your shirt" 27. Eras 28. Org. 29. Many miles away 30. Small songbird 31. Red ink amount 32. Loathsome 33. Wood sorrels 34. Chap 35. Flimsy, as an excuse 36. Month before Nisan

38. Artist's stand 39. Introduction to chemistry? 44. Quick breads 45. Dome-shaped desserts 46. Cake topper 47. Brusque 48. Computer acronym 49. Songs of King David 50. Monopoly income 51. Non-kosher seafood 52. Healthy 53. Scent 54. Brother of Cain 55. Weight not charged for 56. Cold war initials

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Stay safe be seen wear a reflector belt Call 718-853-4966 a $3.00 Donation toward the Gemach is requested.

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Boro Park Buzz March 24 2014 Pre Pesach Edition