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October 17, 2019 Being in school every day is absolutely grueling. Having to wake up every morning to the stupid baby blue walls of my room is probably worse. I used to be at the top of my class and be one of the best students in every subject, but ever since this rollercoaster began, I’ve felt far below average. My grades aren’t suffering that much—at least not yet—but I’ve stopped doing my homework, and I’m beginning not to participate much in class. At lunch, I sit with my best friend, Lexi, and all my other friends, but I don’t speak. I just sit and draw or write. Lex doesn’t really notice my lack of engagement in the conversation since she’s wrapped up with her new friend, Kianna, who transferred to our school. She and Kianna were friends before we all went to the same school, so now they’re close, I guess. Anyway, I wanted to tell Lexi about my whole gender crisis and maybe wanting to transition from a girl to maybe nonbinary, meaning not identifying with a gender at all, but I’m not sure if that will free me from the emotional distress I’m experiencing. She barely notices me, though. It’s like

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Profile for Butterfly Dreamz

2020 Leadership Journal E-book  

A leadership journal written by girls from Newark, NJ to cultivate courageous conversations and action. Purchase your copy at theleadershipj...

2020 Leadership Journal E-book  

A leadership journal written by girls from Newark, NJ to cultivate courageous conversations and action. Purchase your copy at theleadershipj...