October 15, 2019 My family has never been easy to deal with, but my older sister has always been the one person I could rely on to give me good advice. I tried to find the right words to describe how I’ve been feeling lately, and I prepared for the conversation in my head before going to her house. I was supposed to bring up how I’ve been depressed and how I feel like I have nobody to talk to about my feelings because I don’t want to feel dismissed. I was supposed to tell her that I feel like I’m drowning, even though everyone around me is breathing, and that it feels like I’ve lost myself in a crowd filled with people who look just like me but aren’t me. I was supposed to tell her that even when my lips say, “I’m fine, thank you,” my eyes tell a different story, my heart sings a different tune, and my soul just weeps for someone to notice my pain, but no one ever does. I wanted to explain to her that people think depression is sadness; they think depression is crying and dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is a constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to life. You wake up in the
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Published on Jun 11, 2020