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Choosing to see Natalie was probably the most important thing I could have done because, if it wasn’t for her, I would have definitely ended my life a long time ago rather than take the time to understand myself. I keep contemplating the question she asked me a while back. I told her I hadn’t come up with a clear answer, but that’s because I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of possibly identifying as a boy. The most important pro is that I might be more accepted by my mother and brothers, and I won’t feel like an alien in my own house. The other one is that I won’t have to experience the same trauma I did with Cami, and I’ll stop getting attention from men, at least the ones around here who are straight. But I’ve also been asking myself: Is identifying as a boy going to change what happened in the past, or will it become a shield for all the pain deep down inside? My biggest fear is changing my name and gender but not being able to change my experience. I know the past can’t be changed, but how else can I move on? ~Tia’Marie

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Profile for Butterfly Dreamz

2020 Leadership Journal E-book  

A leadership journal written by girls from Newark, NJ to cultivate courageous conversations and action. Purchase your copy at theleadershipj...

2020 Leadership Journal E-book  

A leadership journal written by girls from Newark, NJ to cultivate courageous conversations and action. Purchase your copy at theleadershipj...