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Tidings, June/July 2014, Page

BANSTEAD UNITED REFORMED CHURCH SERVICES Our Family Worship is held every Sunday at 10.30am a crèche is provided. Junior Church for children aged 3-14 meets at the same time, and we have a music group which meets at 10.10am. Holy Communion is normally celebrated during our morning service on the first Sunday of each month. For details of future events and important dates for your diary please see the monthly Diary Sheet or our Website:




1st June 8th June 15th June 22nd June 29th June

Revd. Roberta Rominger (Holy Communion) Jo Patel Elders with Heather Clements from the Bible Society Revd. Craig Bowman Praise in the Park (see page 15)

6th July 13th July 20th July 27th July

Linda Richards (Holy Communion) B5Y and Revd Vivien Turner Revd. Maria Pallis Revd. Daphne Topple

Tidings is edited by Linda Richards. Address: 3 Breech Lane, Walton on the Hill, Tadworth, Surrey KT20 7SQ Tel 01737 813617, e-mail I am happy to receive your contributions, ideas and suggestions for Tidings at any time but copy for the next edition should be with me by Sunday, 27th July at the latest. Page 2 , Tidings, June/July 2014

Dear Friends I’m writing this a couple of days after our May Elders’ meeting and it occurred to me that those of you who don’t spend every third Wednesday evening of the month sitting round a table in the Spencer Hall must sit there wondering what we are all doing and what fun we must be having while you are at home watching TV. ....What do you mean ‘No!’?... ‘In so many ways, No!'.....! Oh well, you may have burst my bubble but I’m going to share the experience with you anyway, especially as we’ve just gone through a bit of a revolution! After an overhaul of our ‘standing agenda’ the last two elders meetings have actually finished before 10pm. This might not seem too much of a claim but with several of our elders working full time and working long hours, with meetings that have dragged on after 10:30 we realised we had to do something to make the morning alarm call less painful! It was also no bad thing to make sure we made more productive use of everyone’s time, so we are trying to focus on things that really need decisions made rather than things that lend themselves to endless pontificating!...and believe me there are plenty of the latter to get stuck into! This may seem a rather ‘businessy’ thing to share with you but I think its important that we recognise that good stewardship of our time together, and that of those who gift their time to the life of the church, is as much a part of our Christian responsibility as more direct acts of service. After all, doing the first gives more time for the second. This doesn’t apply just to the elders of course – we all have choices to make about how we spend our time and that time is as much a gift as the more obvious gifts of the Spirit we will be thinking about as we approach Pentecost.

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The other change we have made is to have brought the sharing of pastoral concerns and news to the beginning of our business, rather than leaving it until the end of the meeting when (see above!) we are often becoming a bit tired. We still return to the names of those mentioned in our closing prayers, but they, or situations that are causing concern – or joy - now set the context for our meetings. It reminds us that we are here to serve and share and that while the practical administration of the church’s affairs is an essential part of our Christian commitment, it is the needs of God’s world and support for the church family that we are primarily gathered to address. This week we shared, in confidence, the names of several of you who are going through difficult times; one or two elders shared that they were approaching changes in their own lives with a mixture of expectation and concern; we heard news of the congregation at Christchurch, Walton on the Hill, with whom we are looking forward to sharing a minister; and (Church secretary’s privilege coming up here!) I made sure that if they hadn’t already heard, everyone was aware my daughter Philippa is now engaged to Ben. So, just to reassure you, we don’t just turn up every month and go through the motions! We start off by hearing from one of the elders who has prepared devotions – always in their own individual style, and always the better for being different every time as a result. Then as I’ve said we remind ourselves of the things and people that are on our minds before we move to deal with the matters before us, doing our best to be responsible and efficient stewards of the time we have together. Next time I write Joyce will have stepped down and Cliff and Madeline will have rejoined the team. I hope you will join me in thanking them and all the other serving and non serving elders for all their service, past and to be. With very best wishes Kevin

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CHURCH FAMILY NEWS In our thoughts and prayers … We continue to remember Peter Simpson and Beryl in our prayers this month. Many of our members and friends are going through difficult times at the moment with changes in relationships, employment and homes. We ask God’s blessing on them all. Several of our young people sitting exams at school or university this month. Please remember them in your prayers both as they study and as they await results. We rejoice with the Dinnage family as they celebrate the engagement of Philippa and Ben Pennington. We send them our love and warmest congratulations. In July we say ‘thank you’ to Joyce Carlisle who will retiring from the Elders’ Meeting and ‘welcome back’ to Madeline Cranfield and Cliff Houghton who return as serving Elders, and to Diane Forzani and Chris Harris who have agreed to serve for a further three years. We thank God for each of them and the gifts they offer to the church. The General Assembly of the URC meets in Cardiff from 3rd to 6th July. It will be addressing some very big questions:  What is the Spirit saying to the United Reformed Church?  Do we still embrace an ecumenical vision and vocation as our founders did?  Is it time to establish a new order of ministry?  How can church meetings be revitalised so that they fulfil their purpose as a place for the believers to discern the mind of Christ for their life and mission?  What is our Christian attitude and response towards mental illness?  What do we understand to be the nature of marriage? Please pray for all who attend - retired and serving ministers, lay representatives, the Moderators and the General Secretary.

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MARY CALDER 1921 - 2014 Mary Calder died peacefully at Belvedere House, Royal Alfred Seafarers’ Society on 8th April. She had been a member of this church for nearly 60 years. Many of her family, friends, neighbours and members of the church attended a thanksgiving service for her life held at the church on 2nd May. The following are extracts from Helen’s ‘Memories of Mary’ and Linda’s address. Mary Bowman was born in September 1921 in Wallington, to Charles and Frederica. She was the fourth of five children and although she had many friends it seems that her sisters, Peggy and Lizbeth, remained some of her closest and most trusted friends. Mary attended St Anne’s primary school and then Wallington County School. She took after her father and loved sports more than academic study. The family moved to Epsom Downs when Mary was 13. They made the most of the downs for their sporting activities Following school Mary worked as a shorthand typist for Westminster Bank in London. She also manned the Civil Defence overnight phones at Banstead Council offices, sleeping in the Council Chamber when off duty. Mary, along with her father, brothers and sisters, played for Westminster Bank sports teams: hockey, netball & cricket in her case. She apparently once took a hat trick bowling 3 wickets in 3 successive balls at cricket. There is much to be said for the lessons learnt through sport – commitment, perseverance and of course the necessity to stick to the rules and play fairly – lessons which stayed with Mary all her life. Mary met Jack, a chartered accountant, on holiday in Cornwall in 1947 and, after a long courtship due to Jack’s poor health, married in 1954. Page 6 , Tidings, June/July 2014

They bought a new house in Banstead and called it Tregantle after the place they first met. They joined this church and made it their spiritual home and Helen was brought up as part of the church family here. How blessed this church has been by their faithful service. Mary was a founder member and regular committee member of Monday Club which is still running today. Jack, who served as a deacon and church treasurer, died after only 15 years of married life, when Helen was 13. There followed a sad and difficult time for Mary but she valued the love and support she, and Helen, received from this church. She rose to the challenges of bringing up a daughter on her own, caring for her lovely home and garden and became increasingly involved in her church and community. Peggy Houghton, writing in Tidings in 1993, described Mary as “a back-stage worker par excellence, a caring pastoral elder who visits conscientiously and regularly, her concern for others is an example to us all.” Mary’s faith was a real and living faith and was reflected in all that she did – visiting the lonely and housebound, serving at the Open Door café, helping at the Day Out Club for those with memory problems, serving on the catering committee and delivering church flowers to the sick. Everything she did, she did with a smile and a twinkle in her eye. Mary thanked God for his goodness to her and took seriously the challenge to share his love with others. Mary served the Lord in many ways, her faith was not just something for Sunday morning, she lived that faith day in and day out. It was a source of tremendous joy for her to know that her daughter shared that faith. In the last months of her life Mary found great comfort in listening as Helen read familiar scriptures to her, sang hymns and prayed with her. We should not be distraught with grief at Mary’s passing for she herself was at peace, confident in the promise of eternal life. Mary’s was a life well-lived and an inspiration to us all.

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The following article appeared in the Steeple, the magazine of All Saints’ Church, Banstead, who have kindly allowed us to reprint it here.



I recently spent some time in a parish not far from the Elephant and Castle station. It would be true to say that this is an area of great deprivation, yet the people I met were so welcoming and I was aware of a deep sense of God’s presence in their situations. I experienced many wonderful things but was forced to face how many of the ‘other half’ live in Britain today. To share some thoughts with you: The vicar of the parish told me about a family that had recently been made homeless. They had had a fire in their flat. The husband had tried to put the fire out with his bare hands. He suffered horrendous burns to his face and hands and consequently lost his job in the construction industry. He has three very small children and so his wife was unable to go out to work. The family quickly fell behind with their rent. The landlord sent his ‘heavies’ around to threaten them and also started pouring liquids etc. through their letter box. The family fled in terror one night and now are sleeping on a friend’s floor. They need immediate financial help but the benefit system is very slow in responding. Meanwhile they pray and worry. The vicar of the parish suggested that I went to the local shopping street to see (hypothetically) whether I could borrow some money…. In other words, to imagine what it must be like to be so desperate. The local shopping area boasted many Pawn Shops and Pay-day loan lenders. I decided to try my luck in both. I went to a Pawn Shop and asked if I could pawn my engagement ring for 28 days. I know that my ring is worth well into four figures, but I was told that I could be given £85 for it. Needless to say, I did not take up the opportunity. Page 8 , Tidings, June/July 2014

I then went to a Pay-Day Loan shop. I asked if I could borrow £1,000 until my pay day. I was told that my next pay day was probably too soon to allow me to find the money to pay back the loan, so it was suggested that I could pay the £1,000 back at the end of the following month – seven weeks away. The staff were very keen to give me the money without any questions being asked. But I did have one question: How much interest would I be charged for this seven-week loan of £1,000? I was told that the interest for that period would be £485. Is there any wonder that people get into more and more debt? How can Christians help such people? I have also had the recent experience of helping out at a local food bank near Tattenham Corner. There are many myths about the way Food Banks work. Most of these myths fuel the idea that those who use Food Banks are lazy good-for-nothings; so I thought it important to put the record straight. (with thanks to the Trussell Trust for some of this information): Frontline care professionals identify people in need. Care professionals such as doctors, health visitors, social workers, CAB and police identify people in crisis and issue them with a foodbank voucher. Foodbanks partner with a wide range of care professionals who are best placed to assess need and make sure that it is genuine. Foodbank clients bring their voucher to a foodbank centre where it can be redeemed for three days emergency food. The voucher is printed on red paper so that it cannot be photocopied. When the voucher is presented at the Food Bank the signature from the care professional is checked against a file of recognised signatories to avoid forgeries. Volunteers meet clients over a cup of tea and hope to signpost people to agencies able to solve the longer-term problem. Clients are unable to be issued with more than three vouchers (i.e. providing 9 days’ food) within a particular period. That period locally (and also in most cases, nationally) is 6 months. It is therefore impossible to have more than 18 days’ worth of food in a Tidings, June/July 2014, Page 9

year using a Food Bank. Food Banks are for desperate people in an emergency situation. In the local Food Bank I have come across people who work but do not earn enough to feed the families. Often their children are entitled to free school meals but this provision is not available during school holidays. I have also met with people who are entitled to certain benefits but because the system is so slow (and often complicated) they run out of money for food before their benefit arrives. Often clients are ashamed to be at the Food Bank. It is not a place where people go willingly, but sometimes ‘needs must’. Jesus said: “Whatsoever you do for the least of my brothers (or sisters) that you do unto me”. We thank God for those who are willing to donate food for Food Bank and for those who run them for the benefit of ‘the least ’. Revd. Mandy MacVean

EPSOM & EWELL FOOD BANK As a church we continue to support the Food Bank in Epsom. Items can be brought to church on any Sunday and placed in the box in the Sanctum. Their current needs are for Breakfast cereal

UHT milk

Juice (long life)

Sponge puddings



Sugar (including 500g packs)

Tinned potatoes

Tinned vegetables (mixed or individual items) Epsom has quite a number of ‘single’ applicants as well as ‘ families’ so small to medium tins/packets are always welcomed as well as multipacks that can be broken down into single units. They are always grateful for our help and I thank you too for your support. A few prefer to donate in cash rather than goods and that’s fine. I just pass on whatever is given on the next visit. Arthur Bestente Page 10 , Tidings, June/July 2014

THANK YOU FROM OUR GERMAN FRIENDS Dear friends of Banstead URC, Yesterday, Elisabeth gave a report from the Banstead visit with our confirmands to the elders of our congregation. The kids came back inspired and enthusiastically. And we could see it, too. So let me thank you in the name of our congregation for the warm welcome and for all your efforts and love you have shown in this special form of outreach and mission. We are looking forward to your next visit in Dessau and hope we can continue our valuable link. With our best wishes and regards Bernd

NEWS FROM THE URC Revd Roberta Rominger, who will be leading our worship on 1st June, is currently General Secretary of URC, she will formally step down from this role on 31st July 2014. The nomination group, which is responsible for bringing a single name to the denomination’s General Assembly this July, has now completed its work and is nominating the Revd John Proctor, currently vice-principal of Westminster College in Cambridge, to be the URC’s next general secretary. If General Assembly accepts the nomination Mr Proctor will be inducted as general secretary on Sunday 6th July at the end of General Assembly. John Proctor will be a familiar face to many of us as he visited Banstead URC last November as one of the speakers at Banstead Five Churches Day Conference. Tidings, June/July 2014, Page 11


Our activities in support of Christian Aid Week 2014 are now completed and so it is time for me to take a breather and share with you the results. These are not yet the final FINAL figures as I am still waiting for confirmation regarding the Gift Aid numbers. In total we raised £1,372 in support of this life-changing charity, a significant contribution to the combined BURC / All Saints total of £3,584 – a remarkable result given the challenges we faced this year, not least due to our depleted numbers and the lack of availability of willing helpers (many of whom were unfortunately away at the time they would be needed). So how did we do it? As Christian Aid Week started we repeated the coffee morning and sale from last year, raising £725. We transformed the church with café-style seating and there were lots of wonderful cakes donated for us to enjoy with refreshments, or to buy for later. We showed that one person’s rubbish is another person’s treasure by selling on unwanted items. Lucy’s games corner was extended this year and entertained us all and not just the children. The Catts are particularly lucky at picking ducks it would seem  A grateful THANK YOU goes to everyone who helped us to transform the church (both ways!), donated sale items, made cakes, helped on the day and supported the event whether by buying raffle tickets, guessing a teddy name, doing a lucky dip and so on. Greig (my husband) gets a special THANK YOU here for stepping in and freely giving me his support, his time and his strength when I needed it most. Page 12 , Tidings, June/July 2014

And then the house-to-house collection started raising £647. A massive THANK YOU goes to all of the volunteers who maintained their enthusiasm and commitment and helped us to deliver and collect envelopes in support of Christian Aid during the week. We covered 80% of the roads which we are responsible for, the missing 20% in part showing that we are particularly missing Jenny and Charles who used to help to fill in the gaps! Just as big a THANK YOU goes to those dedicated people who came along to the count on the following Monday night and helped to open all the envelopes and log all the money taken (with the help of a supply of tea and biscuits of course!). The resulting total for Christian Aid is fantastic, and knowing the money will be used for God’s great work in the world should make you feel proud of your contribution. We will think of a simpler way to make it work next year! Emma Sabin




The North Downs Cluster Service with tea and an optional walk will be held at Redhill URC in the afternoon of 13th July this year. Further details will be given in the notices, July Diary sheet and on the website but in the meantime please keep the date free.

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SECRETARY OF THE BANSTEAD FIVE CHURCHES EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE As you have probably heard Susan Major will soon be stepping down as the Secretary of the Banstead Five Churches Executive Committee, a post which she has held for several years. We thank her for all her hard work and dedication. The task is now to find someone to take on this important role in the churches. To help us Susan has produced the following ‘job description’. The role of the Secretary is primarily to deal with meetings, of which there are five a year, i.e. to draft and distribute the agenda, and to take and circulate the Minutes. She/he also keeps the records and ensures that essential documents, such as the Safeguarding Policies, are up-to-date. He/she is often the first port of call for enquiries from the general public and others and will deal with external organisations, including Churches Together in Surrey, other ecumenical organisations, Faith Links, and the Borough and County Councils, as needed. Past Secretaries have undertaken various other tasks but should not be expected to do so. If you are interested in this role or would just like to have a chat about it, please speak to Diana Parsk or to Susan Major.

HOLIDAY FUN WEEK 2014 There will be an important meeting for all adults and teenagers involved in Banstead Five Churches Holiday Fun Week on Wednesday 4th June at 7.30pm at St Paul’s Church, Nork.

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Yes, it is nearly time to “Praise …. In the Park!” again. We will gather in the Lady Neville Recreation Ground, come rain or shine, for a service at 11.30 on Sunday 29th June. There will be NO service in our church on that day. Waitrose has kindly agreed to include Praise in the Park in their Community Matters Green Token Scheme for June and so if anyone is shopping in Waitrose then we would be very grateful for their support. On Saturday 12th July Diana Parsk will be having a cake sale at the Banstead Village Day Fair in the Orchard with all proceeds going to Praise in the Park. If anyone would like to make a cake (big or small) then all donations would be much appreciated. You can bring any donations to the fair in the morning or Diana will collect from you on the Friday. Thank you very much in anticipation of your help. Tidings, June/July 2014, Page 15

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SURREY AND SUSSEX SYNOD AREA PASTORAL COMMITTEES REPORT The Surrey and Sussex Synod Area Pastoral Committees met at Crawley United Reformed Church on 29th April 2014 and would like to report the following: Those remembered were - Revd John Peach of Hounsome Memorial Church who had died; Revd Ron Talmey who is no longer conducting worship; Revd Derek Richmond; Dr Ray Brotherwood; Emmanuel Worthing whose Treasurer had died quite suddenly; Revds Julian Thomas and Peter McIntosh. We uphold Mary Harding after the loss of her husband John after he went missing. We keep Mary and all those at Tolworth in our thoughts and prayers at this very sad time. Revd Peter Flint will be leaving Dorking and is to be inducted at New Malden and Thames Ditton on Saturday 6th September. Authorisation for Lay Presidency at services of Holy Communion New people will be required to complete the Sacraments Course and others already presiding are encouraged to do a refresher. LMMR report has been received concerning Eastwick Road URC, Bookham. LMMRs are about to commence at Billingshurst & Pulborough & Petworth (their Minister, Revd Kenneth Lynch retiring in August) and Horsham. Revd Andrew Mills who stood down as LMMR Coordinator on his becoming Convener of Synod Council on 31st January was hugely appreciative of the excellent LMMR work John Bunker has done for Surrey and Sussex. The Area Synod meeting on 24th June will be focussing on issues coming before General Assembly and the Area Synod Leader, Revd David Skitt seeks information about what would be relevant to Justice and Society issues. Delight was expressed that Mrs Joanne (“Jo�) Patel, of Banstead was successful at the National Assessment Conference held in Manchester in March and is to commence her studies at Westminster College in September. Alan Kirby Tidings, June/July 2014, Page 17

ON THE SPOT … CHRIS HARRIS I am looking forward to … the end of the exams!! May and June are extremely stressful months for parents and I am always glad when the exams are over. Something which worries me is ... where the world is going and what kind of legacy we are leaving for our children and grandchildren Something not many people know about me is ... I speak Russian but sadly now very badly as I haven’t used it for many years. The last book I read was ...‘The Night Road’ by Kristin Hannah – a must for all mothers. It is emotionally complex, gripping and had a profound effect on me. Something which annoys me is … the continual decline of standards in so many areas of life – behaviour, driving and particularly in the use of the English language – my children call me a grammar nazi ( harsh but fair). The rule for apostrophes is not hard to learn and I believe that you either get something free or for nothing but definitely not ‘for free’. I wish I were better at … most things, but top of the list is technology. The best thing which happened to me recently was definitely our black Labrador puppy, Phoebe, who is now 18 weeks old. She has a penchant for shoes and carrot cake and has beautiful brown eyes and a very waggy tail. If I could be any character in any film I would be ... Difficult decision between Maria in the Sound of Music and Sister Luke in The Nun’s Story. There are similarities in that both are nuns, and appealing characters and fall in love with strong, principled men. As quite a shallow person I think I am attracted to the monochrome capsule wardrobe of a nun. My favourite place is … St Peter’s Basilica in Rome – not because of the proliferation of nuns! Ishbel took part in Mass and Page 18 , Tidings, June/July 2014

sang there with her school choir on her 15th Birthday. It was an unforgettable experience, very spiritual and will never be repeated. I have climbed the steps to the top of the Dome to enjoy the stunning views of Rome – quite a challenge for a claustrophobic! My favourite hymn is … I tend to be a bit fickle about hymns as there are so many wonderful tunes and uplifting words. A constant favourite is ‘Be still in the presence of the Lord’ and I am moved to tears every Christmas morning by the line ‘Word of the father now in flesh appearing’, particularly if David and Jenny are doing their inspirational double act on the organ. If my house was burning down I would rescue … assuming the living beings are all safe, probably my favourite perfume ‘Sung’ by Alfred Sung. It is an American fragrance which is no longer made and I have one full bottle left (I did say I was a shallow person!)

MAY QUEEN PROCESSION 2014 Banstead URC made ‘a joyful noise unto the Lord’ and to the rest of Banstead High Street as they joined the May Queen’s Procession again this year. Lollipops and leaflets were handed out along the route and a good time was had by all. Many thanks to all those who joined the parade and showed our community what a happy, friendly church we are!

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Church Secretary: Kevin Dinnage 01737 356380 Copy for the next edition should be with the editor by Sunday 27th July Email:

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June july 2014 for website  
June july 2014 for website