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Bully Magazine This publication provides
relatable life experiences that have become a“BULLY.” Our mission is to help readers build inspiration as they read each healing testimonial story, allowing them to break away from the common stigma of “FEAR” as they release the resentment from past painful life encounters. As we explore and research how society has increased the devastating effects that continue to absorb one’s mindset due to the constant stress and burden of life’s disputes. We generated stories that focus on reality to help support the awareness of mental health disparities. Reading is therapeutic for the mind; therefore, each issue has segments on important benefits that help improve self-care to support and balance each potential reader’s lifestyle. It is our goal to continue sharing our magazine worldwide; reaching communities, families, and individuals to help to comfort emotions, touch hearts, and aim to deliver hope and save a life to overcome those unforgettable challenges.
*These articles reflect only the opinions of the individual authors and are published with their permission. These articles are the authors’ present recollections of their own experiences over time. Bully Magazine does not claim the comprehensiveness or accuracy of these articles.
Page No. THE PAINFUL CHAPTER IN MY MARRIAGE Rhinnion Pinkins
LIFE LESSON Anthony Gonzales
THE CHALLENGING DESTINATIONS Shawn Jackson
YOUR MESSAGE IS IMPORTANT Mylria Green
SURVIVAL INSUFFICIENT Nitisha Morre
EXPECT SOMETHING Quori Grand
REGULATING THY EMOTIONS Yvonne Lynn- Bedzra
WIDOW / DESTINY SECRET POET DENISE Nissi Baskerville
NEW BIRTH Apostle Calvin Brown
REPAIRING YOUR WELLNESS
USING YOUR VISION Coach Jamel White
was a young mother at twenty, straight out of high school. It all seemed to be a fairy tale at the time because I was so in love, and nothing else seemed to matter. My daughter’s father and I became a marital union! He wanted to enroll in the military, which required him to receive great benefits to care for my daughter and me. He also needed to sign his rights over to me as her father to carry his last name, preventing me from taking him to court for child support.
He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was so clueless about this condition because my family never talked about the awareness of mental health disorders. He did mention it to me when he was nineteen years old, and I thought nothing of it. I attended church frequently during my upbringing and believed a demonic evil spirit was within him. I decided to call his family, and they explained what he was experiencing and gave me the steps to contact 911. My husband was hospitalized, which had me fearful that he would undergo another episode, so I began praying to receive the Lord’s blessing during my uncertainty.
We were two years into our marriage, and he had an episode. I didn’t know what was wrong with him, but I was so scared to see him in this condition. I was twentytwo with a two-year-old daughter, and my husband, whom I loved, was crawling on the floor and saying weird things. As I looked at him, I noticed a disturbing look in his eyes, leaving me in a state of shock and confusion about what I should do. During this incident, I had no clue my husband suffered from a mental illness. 6
I knew my husband was suffering from mental sickness, and I vowed never to give up on him and disobey my promise at the altar. I promised to be with him through sickness and health and never leave him. I received instructions from the physicians that cared for him, and they told me he should always take his medicine daily to prevent these heavy episodes. It’s a culture shock for many African American men to take medication as instructed for their conditions, and my husband fell into this category. He would take the prescribed drug but skip days because he felt he never needed to take the medication as directed when feeling well. Each time this happened, he’d have an Episode!
I trusted in the Lord and knew he would make it better through his will. The Bible states, “That trouble would not last always.” H e began experiencing these episodes once or twice a year, they’d become more severe, and he would sometimes remove his clothes in public and be bare naked. I’d receive calls informing me that the police took him into custody because of his behavior. We were mid-into our marriage, and I had given birth to another child. I was very protective of my children when my husband experienced these episodes because I feared what his behavior might be like around them; therefore, I would call my mom to pick them up when this took place. Since my daughter witnessed him having these episodes and became frightened, I didn’t want her to see him as a scary person. He was an excellent father and husband, but he would transform into another person when the attacks occurred, like “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” At times I felt like I was living with a stranger because I never knew what he would be capable of doing next. He’s never been physical with me, but he was very violent and hypersexual; this was a part of the mental illness. During intimacy, it was like I was with another person, making me feel awkward, but I continued to engage in sexual activities with him because he was my husband. It honestly felt like I was having sex with someone else, but I never refused since I believed it was part of being a wife. I would watch his actions each day and then mark the calendar when the episodes occurred. I would pray to GOD and ask for his guidance of deliverance, to help my family and my husband. I trusted in the Lord and knew he would make it better through his will. The Bible states, “That trouble would not last always.” So 8
I would continue to mark the X’s on my calendar and pray to the Lord; “Father God, it seems so long, and I don’t know when it will stop, but I trust that you’ll make it better at some point, even when the days turned into weeks, and I feel like giving up, I will continue to hold on.” During those troubled days that seemed like forever, I knew I couldn’t give up because I had to protect him with all I had. Some people that lived in the neighborhood had never seen the other side of my husband. They had only seen the loving, beautiful Power Couple and admired our family. We were a lovely couple and attended church; my husband was an Associate Minister, so my family was very connected to the ministry. I ensured I protected him from the public, so no one ever noticed the episodes. Our marriage hit some rough stages as time passed, and it felt like we were drifting apart. My husband began hearing voices and was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Infidelity reared its ugly head, and he would use his sickness as an excuse for his actions. His illness became aggressive, and he was mentally abusive towards me since I was the person that was closest to him. He thought of me as the bad one, which began to weigh heavy on my mind because he was mentally killing me through the process of trying to help him, but I continued to stay firm. I feared him hurting me, so I’d always stay alert because the voices he heard made him uncontrollable. One day I received a phone call that someone found him in; Lake Michigan in the state of Chicago, which at the
time was where we resided. When I asked him what happened, he responded, “The voices told me to swim across the lake to attend a party, and I needed to pull someone else in as a sacrifice.” The police officers were able to rescue him from the lake, and he was admitted to the hospital. At this point, I knew I needed to decide what was best for my family since my husband continued to refuse his medication which in return was causing damage to his brain. I ended our relationship because it was too much to handle and drained me mentally. However, I also knew caring for my children was necessary, and my health needed to be intact, so I let him go. Unfortunately, my husband continued having episodes and became homeless. In the end, I became hopeless, and I was never offered help with treatment, counseling, or support for my mental health, but I knew I needed guidance on the following steps in my life. As I processed everything that went on in my life for twenty-two years and how I was conditioned to protect him and my family, I realized I was eternally wounded, and the wound was getting bigger. I received Hypnotic Therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD from all the trauma that occurred in my life. My therapy is my Art. I create distinctive paintings in many forms; the most popular form I establish is murals, using oils, mixed mediums, and spray paints. It gives me so much peace and fits so well with my prayer life. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia, to pursue another passion of mine. Modeling is another desire I adored due to my fondness for the fashion industry. I’ve gained successful leads, which I find surprisingly strange since I have reached the age of forty-five. This is all a new transition for me,
but I’m enjoying it! It makes me feel like I have been released from the storm; knowing who I am and my worth has allowed me to withdraw from anything and anybody who will attempt to disrupt my Peace. This is where I finally understand who I am by staying motivated and caring for no one else but “RHI.”
y life began in Chicago, Illinois. I carry a Spanish last name because My father was Puerto Rican and my mother was a beautiful African American woman.Unfortunately, that union was short-lived because my parents divorced during my birth. My mother soon met an African American man that would raise me to become the man I was destined to be in this world. At twelve years old I received news that my biological father passed away, so I was never able to build a meaningful relationship with him.
I grew up in a neighborhood in the Virginia Beach Bayside area. Although my mother and my stepfather were my guardians, I lived with my grandmother. My grandmother’s household was unusual because, as I saw it with young eyes, everyone from my mother to my uncles was all in the drug game. It was ironic because while my mother was hanging in the streets trying to get paid, my stepfather was trying to teach me some life lessons, but I decided it was time to pack up and live with my grandmother. But little did I know my uncles were in the same game as my mother. As a young man trying to navigate through this world, I asked my mother questions about my biological father, and all she would tell me was he was deceased. I remember always seeing this guy walking down the street when I was with my mother heading to the store. I used to say he was my daddy, which was the highlight of me wanting to tag along with my mother in hopes of seeing this man, whom I believe was my biological father. Unfortunately, my aunties spoiled my discovery by telling me this man wasn’t my father, and they were correct because I found out sometime later that my father was incarcerated. He was released when I was twelve and made his way to Virginia to see me, which excited me. This was the first time I laid eyes on my father, who came bearing gifts; a pair of Jordans and a Gold Chain. Although excitement filled my soul, I felt somewhat distraught because I wondered if I would ever see him after this short visit. It was a lot to process for a boy at the tender age of twelve 12
As a young man trying to navigate through this world, I asked my mother questions about my biological father
because here’s this man standing in front of me, alive and well when all I heard from my mother was the mere lie that he was dead. She also told me that he left her and was a deadbeat from the start, but he came with gifts. My father left and returned to Chicago, was incarcerated again, and died in prison, so that brief moment was the relationship I had with the man who helped to create me, and now he was gone forever. My uncle was Panamanian by way of marriage (he was married to my auntie), and I used to see him always counting money. I was about thirteen years old when I witnessed him counting cash, and he yelled out two hundred fifty thousand, and that was when I became a product of my environment
because I would later touch not only what he touched in monetary earnings but much more. Although drugs and making money were a constant theme in my upbringing while living with my grandmother, I had friends whose homes were nothing like mine. I had one friend who later became a pastor because although we did some things we weren’t supposed to be doing as adolescents, he was able to go home to a household filled with the love of God because his parents were heavy into the church. Even though I witnessed bricks of cocaine and money everywhere, I was determined to make something of myself, so I became active in sports at school. I was named most athletic in junior high. I played football and basketball and participated in track and field. I attended speech classes because I stuttered badly, so bad that I couldn’t talk. I was teased and joked about because of my condition, which gave me the drive to push myself to become the best at whatever I engaged in. I focused on pursuing it to the fullest, this gave me positive points and no one paid attention to my stutters. Unfortunately, the influence in my household outweighed the positive energy of becoming the next big name in sports. So when the opportunity presented itself in the drug game, I accepted my role with open arms. Once the money began to stack up, I began noticing the females didn’t care much about my speech either because I had money, this began to feed my ego and I considered myself the man; “That Guy.”
I was in the music industry and managed a rap group called the Clipse, and when we got into label drama with the courts and litigations, the money from the music dried up, so I went back to what I knew best, and that was the drug game. I had a budget that ranged between twenty to thirty thousand a month. 13
So I developed a relationship with this guy while on the road with my artist who decided to lie to the Mexicans about a debt that was not mine, but in this cruel world, they didn’t care because they knew I was a money maker, so I felt like I had no choice in the matter. I knew it was the wrong path to take, but I had bills to pay, so I got into the drug game with the Mexicans. It all came tumbling down when the Mexican connect got caught, and he decided to tell on my entire family, which ended my drug dealing career. Being a part of the drug game I never felt a force of conviction, since I never knew about the other side during my upbringing. In my mind, I believed this lifestyle was the proper thing to do. If I had to describe my Bully moment in life, I have to give that to my entire upbringing surrounded by lots of drugs and cash. I influenced my younger cousins to pursue the same path I inherited along the way. When the Feds came knocking, my entire family was named in the indictments, including my mother.
I spent the next eight and a half years of my life in prison, so I decided to use the time wisely by feeding my brain information that would someday deem useful when I was released. I was always into business therefore I networked with other inmates that could provide insight on how I could follow the correct path to build a business once I returned home. I created a five-year plan to assure the details exceeded my goals. Today I own a transport trucking company with five trucks on the road contributing positively to society and other investments to make my money legally. I was also able to publish my novel; “384 Months The Sacrificial Lamb.” My life experience has allowed me to become a better man and guided me to a fulfilling relationship with God. I share my testimony to encourage Individuals to keep their lifestyles private, away from the household and their children to prevent repeating the same negative cycles. As a father of three daughters, having respectful initiatives in my household is key; it helps them understand how a woman should be treated at all times.
I became a resident at a temporary shelter in the area, allowing me to begin growing and focusing on my desire to become a better man by building a relationship with God.
s a young Kid from the state of Florida, I always wanted to become a productive person once I reached adulthood. Sadly, I never had a father figure in my life to teach me how to become a great man. At the time, my father was poverty-stricken, maintaining his livelihood by gathering food for my family and me from the public trash. This man who was in my life was not my biological father! He was in a relationship with my mom and was present during my birth, he even cut the umbilical cord, so my mother decided to give me his last name.
I have no idea who my biological father is or do I not know where he resides, and I have no relationship with him. The man that raised me was not a good person. He sold drugs and abused women. He’d beat my mother, brother, and me as well. I remember one day coming in from school and witnessing him in my room rumbling through all my things, looking for something to sell to the pawn shop to get money for drugs. My mom was hopeless to help defend us because she was diagnosed with sickle cell in her younger years and was always weak and sick; therefore, he’d take full advantage of her condition by doing what he wanted. Watching her in this condition was painful, and I would assist her as much as possible. These conditions were unforgettable, and I would always tell myself that I would be a better person and dad to my children when I reached adulthood. My grandfather and uncle stepped into my life at the age of fifteen, and I began building a relationship with them. It helped me identify how to build bonds, and they both taught me the fundamentals of becoming a young man, and within that mentoring, I became a dad! I had my first son at twenty-one, which was difficult since I never had a real relationship with my father. But receiving the attention and love from the two men who dedicated their time to me gave me the confidence to understand the patience I needed.
Then, in 2011 my mother passed away; it was one of the worst feelings I ever felt. Losing her made me angry and resentful, and I began pushing myself away from my grandparents and uncle. Each day as I watched my son grow up, I learned to embrace, love, and care for him, giving him the quality time he needed. I consistently pushed myself to be a great father figure and not lack the steps of fatherhood like my dad did to me. Once I knew things were not moving in the right direction with me and my son’s mother, I wanted to explore new avenues in life. So I decided to take a spontaneous trip to the state of Maine for a week’s vacation to take a break from my family. I got a ride from a guy who lived in Maine and was returning home, but the trip turned out to be a horrible experience, and we got into a heated argument that almost led to an altercation. I gathered the small bag of clothes I had brought for the trip and walked to the nearest park to cool off. I called my grandmother, and she began crying after learning about my situation of being abandoned in the state of Maine. 17
I was twenty-seven years old, in a terrible position where I knew I had to get myself out. This was a learning experience, and it taught me to grow up quickly. I began exploring a dating app on my phone to locate a friend for some company that could give me some information about the state of Maine. I then started looking for a job because I needed money. My uncle always told me, “As I grow up and become a man, I must always keep a job so I can maintain having money in my pocket to care for myself.” So I decided to walk to the nearest supermarket for a job and was fortunate to get hired for a position on the spot since I had retail experience. My journey in Maine was rough because I began bouncing around different places and ended up staying with someone who offered me a room if I worked for him. I stayed in the attic area but was not picky because I had a roof over my head. Things were going well until another tenant moved in, and we had a dispute, which led the landlord to get upset with me; he bought me a ticket to leave his house and return to Florida. I stayed in my home state for a short time when a friend I was in a relationship with convinced me to return to Maine. I decided to return to the state because I had grown to love the people I met along the way. I stayed with a female friend with whom I was in a relationship, but for some reason, after being out with her friends, she returned home and told me I had to leave her house. At the time, it was a late cold, snowy night, so I refused to leave. She decided to lock herself in the bathroom and call the police, telling them a false statement that I assaulted her two18
year-old son by punching him in the face. I explained to the police that this was untrue, but they refused to believe me, and I ended up in jail over a false domestic dispute. Upon my release, I took this situation as another lesson to keep in my life and never repeat. I became a resident at a temporary shelter in the area, allowing me to begin growing and focusing on my desire to become a better man by building a relationship with God. I began speaking to individuals to release my pain. I’ve built relationships with the clothing brand that I created. A clothing line titled; “UPSTYLISH.” A brand that motivates individuals to up their knowledge in life. My clothing line has been featured in many fashion shows in different states. I also enjoy boxing and fitness training. I’ve been allowed to compete in American Ninja Worrier. I’ve created a podcast, “Champions Connect,” and I became an author writing my memoir book, “The Life of a Gypsy, the Shawn Jackson Story.” dedicated to my mother, whom I lost to Sickle-cell Anemia. Additionally, I gained a position as the new Advertisement Manager of Bully Motivational Magazine. I’m grateful for each blessing in front of me; therefore I will continue to grow and explore life daily as a great person and a good dad.
www.justjeannas.com walmart.com / justjeannasskincare email@example.com Follow on FB IG Linkedin 19
022 has birthed powerful storytellers, and many individuals have committed to healing and breaking generational curses. This birth has come with the creation of transformative stories, sustainable lifestyles, and liberated people. Men and women abroad have spent countless hours formulating stories of triumph and victory, but sometimes something is missing.
THE MESSAGING! Recently, I have gone on a journey of converting non-believers into believers of Jesus Christ. This experience has come with the opportunity to share my spiritual journey. I started in the church but spent my mid 20’s as a non-believer who practiced various spiritual practices. I have since become an unapologetic believer in the one true God. My journey has given me access to multiple environments I would not have dreamed of being in as a young believer. 20
This unique journey created a powerful story I shared with other believers to inspire them to go into nontraditional places to be an example of the one true God. I have been privileged to enter nontraditional environments where belief systems align with other religions and cultures. The experience was beautiful, and I showed people God’s unconditional love in a place God may have never entered if I had said no. Excited about non-believers sharing that my display of God may have kept them in the church prompted me to share my story about people in nontraditional places who desired God. However,
the people of God refused to enter these spaces because of the labels these individuals subscribed to. This resulted in me using these labels as I shared the story of the need for discipleship, but the people who heard this story may have become offended. Someone reading this without context may see nothing wrong with this discrepancy. They may see the message I was trying to convey, one must go to nontraditional places to save souls but will not see the many lives impacted due to trying to tell a quick story. The reality of this situation is that not everyone in the spaces I found myself in, fell under the labels placed in my story. Many sought the same healing and self-love I addressed in the intro of this article. Me trying to inspire other believers came with language that could have easily offended the fantastic people I have had the honor of meeting during these experiences. I realized that although I meant well with my message and tried to encourage
believers to enter into spaces to be one of the few examples of God’s real love, someone could misconceive my message. This realization made me realize it was time to evolve my messaging to encourage discipleship while reflecting the real intention behind each experience, healing. As I reflected on my messaging, I realized it could have been communicated differently. When one begins to tell a story of inspiration, one must reflect on the impact that story may have on all involved. Utilizing words to provoke change and paint a positive picture of all involved is essential. Being a transformative storyteller takes not just trying to get one’s message across but selecting the words to say that resonate with all who hear it. Our message is as important as our message. What messages are you sharing today?
Water Your Seeds isn't a catchphrase, It's a lifestyle!
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’d like to share the Joyous excitement of being a new grandmother to Mathias Gregory Dewese. When picking up my grandson from the hospital, one of the nurses said to me; “We are letting this little guy leave the NICU in two weeks because he fought to be here without any long-term assistance to help complete his development.” My sweet grandson Mathias was born at 34 weeks. He was placed on the breathing machine, began strengthening, and in a short time, he was breathing on his own. But Mathias did not just survive; he FOUGHT to go home! “Survival is insufficient” was first uttered by; Seven of Nine in the Star Wars movie. He implied; “In order to be human, you must do more than just survive; you must live.” 24
Hearing the nurse explain my grandson’s fight for survival and seeing this quote made me understand the application of this experience required an internal reset! Like many of our phones, when something is malfunctioning externally, we are advised to look into the settings to fix it. It would be irresponsible to encourage such a bold statement about survival without considering how people of color tend to settle with just surviving. Calling it insufficient seems unfair when survival is a part of our DNA. To set is to establish; therefore, let’s look at where our settings began. Survival for a person of color is filled with historical distress, also known as “Intergenerational Trauma,” caused by slavery.
It implies that people who have not directly experienced the trauma of slavery can feel its effects for many generations. In return, the next generation will experience what is caused by Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. This condition is a consequence of centuries of slavery followed by institutionalized racism and oppression. This has resulted in multigenerational adaptive behavior when individuals are triggered by falling into the survival and resilience mode. This destructive is normalized as institutionalization. Due to the past core of slavery services, which was introduced as; “The Help,” internalizes oppression with extreme levels of learned helplessness. It has developed tendencies amongst our people that hinder our ability to maintain self-sufficiency, accountability, and responsibility for ourselves, our families, and our communities. Survival has been the only goal of our culture by necessity. But through God, we are reset and reestablished by the finished work of the cross. God has equipped us to reset from historical trauma, post-traumatic slave syndrome, institutionalization, sinful nature, pain, loss, depression, anxiety, etc.
So who are you? This question is at the heart of all humanity, longing for the desired identity. So many things work to define us, limit us, and alter us from God’s original plan. I believe
that we began in the mind of God and were manifested by our parents into this world. From the moment of our birth, things have attempted to rename us and reshape us. As people of color, we were born into limitations and false teachings about our worth and value. This world is consistently competing for our attention! Informing the functioning of the way we think and process. But when we know who we are and that settling for less isn’t an option! Spending our lives in survival mode is not God’s plan for you. Therefore, what you may have heard at the beginning of your life hindered your vision, and Jesus will begin to shatter the internal glass ceilings that have been set up and fortified by your life experiences. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior, he is a new creature reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit; the previous moral and spiritual condition have passed away. Behold, new things have come because spiritual awakening brings a new life.” 25
The truth is, our experiences shape us until we allow God’s love to reshape us. Did you know that your thoughts/beliefs about yourself become words? Actions and habits become the character, and your character unlocks your destiny. We must surrender hopelessness, hyperaggression, procrastination, anger, and fear. The things that happen to us allow them not to destroy us; their purpose is to develop and bring out what’s in us! Jesus teaches that the light in you is better than the light on you. The age of social media has encouraged a look at my generation, known as the spotlight generation. However, if the light on you is stronger than the light in you, your capacity to handle the spotlight can destroy you. You were created for MORE than what you imagine. When we connect to
our creator, we transcend our experiences, the negative voices, and history. Survival is insufficient compared to the original plan for your life. Connect with the creator of your existence to see yourself greater. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest, refreshing your souls with salvation. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me following Me as My disciple, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest renewal, blessed quiet for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Minister Nitisha Moore
Assisting new business owners in the nonprofit and beauty industry with the proper steps to a successful business
ith life’s demands pulling us in every direction, we get sidetracked every day of our lives without even noticing it. It happens so often that we neglect ourselves in the process, and it can throw your entire life off track if you’re not paying attention to yourself. Do you set expectations for yourself when you wake up in the morning? Now, I’m not talking about meeting the demands of your employer or being at the disposal of your kids or significant other, but do you actually expect something of or for yourself?
I strongly believe that purpose begets expectations in its rawest form, so what is the purpose of your expectations? When you expect nothing or have a nonchalant outlook on life, you open yourself up to receive whatever comes your way, and the things you’re receptive to may not be what you want. That’s not an exciting way to live, is it? As a matter of fact, have you noticed how much more exciting life is when you’re expecting something wonderful to happen? It’s almost as if it pulls you through tough situations without you even noticing!
So many people have good intentions for themselves, but for some reason or another, it gets ushered to the side and eventually forgotten about, and unfortunately, this has become the norm for so many of us over the years. It’s time to normalize expecting good things for yourself and encouraging those you interact with to do the same thing daily. When expecting something, be specific with passion, and be willing to put in the necessary work to get what you’re awaiting. Remember, faith without works is dead. Are you working on something or just expecting something to fall in your lap?
When you start grooming your mind to expect favorable things to happen for you, that is the moment that you begin to create conditions from within that will bring about marvelous circumstances in your life. Whether you refer to it as the law of attraction or a biblical proverb, the nature of the saying is universal – “As a man thinketh, so is he.” So, what are you thinking? Now that you’ve established a measure of clarity on the subject matter, that should spark a different way of thinking. Granted, it takes a bit of work to operate on that frequency, but it is 29
“As a man thinketh, so is he.” So, what are you thinking ... still possible. Expectations also should cause you to be more accountable for your actions. In case you’re wondering “how,” then allow me to reveal the other side of the coin for you. When you set expectations for a situation and work towards it hitting your target, you’re most likely to credit yourself for being diligent, right? Then the same should hold true for the opposite scenario – when you set expectations for yourself and you don’t give the necessary effort, then who should get the blame for the careless acts? Have dreams but most importantly, set goals and expectations to keep your momentum going. Dreams without goals are a recipe for misguided resentment. Stand firm and expect something good from the work that you put in. Even when things aren’t shaping out how you planned, keep your expectations in check. You were made to persist. That’s how you find out what you’re made of. That’s the only way to know how strong you are in tough situations. When you feel like you have nothing left, allow your expectations to light your path. Just make sure you have high expectations for yourself. You have your own trail to blaze, so go for it. Don’t hope for a better outcome than what you have going on – expect a better outcome! There’s a big difference between hoping and expecting. Hope stems from having a strong desire to have something. That amount of hope can exist with little to absolutely no basis of the belief that what you’d like to take place to occur. That doesn’t mean that what you want to happen won’t occur. 30
Look at it this way; sometimes, you have to have hope before you can have expectations. On the other hand, expectations are rooted in the belief that something (good or bad) will take place. In most cases, hope in or for something is aimed at something optimistic, whereas expectations can be viewed from either side of the spectrum – good or bad. This is the reason why it is important to be specific in your expectations and have passion behind your actions. Proverbs 23:18 reminds us that our expectations shall not be cut. We must remember that these caveats work both ways in our lives, be it for optimism or destruction. So, whether you’re expecting good or bad things, remember you’ll get exactly what you’re expecting. One of the most powerful forces in existence is the power of expectation. It’s essential to all mankind, and believe it or not; our future is highly dependent on it. Unfortunately, everyone gets discouraged from time to time, and we’ve all been stuck at the intersection of the hopeless avenue and frustrating parkway. However, having clear expectations that you aim to meet can be the deciding factor in reaching your destination. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, “Whenever men and women straighten their backs, they are going somewhere because a man can’t ride your back unless it’s bent.” So stand up, be purposeful, and expect something amazing to happen for you and through you! Quori Grands
hen I was growing up, I was always crying about something. I was a very emotional child, and I felt everything. I would cry when people were hurt, and I felt others’ pain. Family members would call me soft or say I cry too much. As an adult, I found that I was an “empath,” or someone that could feel other people’s pain and had deep empathy towards others. An empath can sometimes sense others by looking at their facial expression or observing body language. In experiencing life and people, I found out that there are different types of “empaths.” And knowing which one you are can help you healthily deal with your emotions. According to Regan (2020), there are several types of “empaths,” and learning the kind you are is essential. I do not have enough time to go through all six types of an empath, but I encourage you to read the article as the information will be at the end. I will talk in detail about emotional empaths and intuitive empaths. An emotional empath is a person that can pick up on other people’s emotions (Regan, 2020). For example, the empath feels anger within a person. This can be dangerous in the long run due to the compound issues as you do not want to have your emotions and deal with others simultaneously. At the same time, an intuitive empath can pick up on the energy of others (feelings).
Again, this can be dangerous for you as an empath if self-care is not used to debrief yourself. So, what does all this mean? It means that your feeling and emotions are precious, period. You are the one that can control the aspects of who you are and who is privy to who you are. This is in no way saying that you become a hermit to individuals. But it says it protects your peace at all costs. There should always be a time to reflect on the day and the people you have encountered. If you continue having all types of energy entering your subconscious when you are already bombarded with thoughts gets dangerous.
Many say that you are what you think. It would be best to control your emotions andfeelings to make intelligent decisions about others and yourself. Just like a cup gets too full and spills over. Your mind will enter this emotional roller coaster while your feelings and emotions are all over the place. Many say that you are what you think. It would be best to control your emotions and feelings to make intelligent decisions about others and yourself. It is essential to be an advocate for yourself in terms of how you look at life and how to respond to your feelings. You want to live a whole life that provides enjoyment and fulfilled life of experiences. Happy Healthy Emotional Journey To You!!! Your Life Coach
Yvonne Lynn -Bedzra
In the Book of Ruth my life is living proof destinies bound by pain & truth in my deepest sorrow I trusted the God of my tomorrow it was tears & bitter grief my faith tested by the thief we journeyed long and for days I followed Naomi in all her ways in hope we journeyed down this bitter path empowered by love in death’s darkest aftermath we were torn by life’s storm from the wisdom in her words our lives were reborn you can lead or you can follow pain can turn your joy to sorrow you must trust & believe in the God of your tomorrow
eloved….let us take a moment to apply the universal lens of pain to dissect this poem. The Book of Ruth is a story whose central currency is (i.e., life, death, loss, pain, struggle, regret, poverty, bitterness, grief, confusion, anger.) The story is a very good illustration of God’s redemptive, resurrection, and restorative power. The story of Ruth informs us of what is possible when women of faith, courage, and belief work together. The book of Ruth lays the foundation for spiritual “sisterhood”. The “secret” is on the road to destiny you will meet many people that will influence your life, your choices, and decisions. If you are blessed to meet a “Naomi” wise widow. Or a “Ruth” a woman driven by faith belief and courage. Conversely, my friend the favor of God has been bestowed upon you. Life teaches us, that pain, suffering, and struggle are universal “truths”. At some point in your life, you will know all three. Pain at its best is a unifying force bringing people from all walks of life together to foster comfort and healing. Pain at its worst, when it is driven my fear, and hate can become a “weapon” a dividing force, exposing character flaws to the point of murder. Every soul on the planet understands the dynamics of pain. Spiritually, the question becomes are you a Ruth, a woman in pain, yet you refuse to let the pain overtake you, and distort your reality of life.
When we see or experience life through a “wounded” lens we become bitter, not better. Naomi was bitter, life had taken all she had, she was old, tired, and running out of faith & time; she told Ruth “go back” I have nothing more to give. Ruth was in pain too, yet, she refused to let the pain of the past destroy her destiny. Ruth used her pain, applying the lens of “faith” thus, she used what remained of her life to go on. That is why it is called the “Book of Ruth” not Naomi. *For the person reading this right now, is your pain and suffering, making you go on, or have you given up and decided to “go back”. The choice is yours. Ruth was driven onward by her “faith”. You must decide tonight that you have come this far by “faith” and you are working with what you got left, not grieving over what you have lost. I think you got a lot left, so “work it” my SISTERS, and keep on keeping on.
Destiny’s Secret©2018 SOUL of POET©2020 Written by D. NISSI Baskerville-MSW
The Prepara�on • • • • • •
Tbsp Bu�er/1tsp minced Garlic/1tsp Lemon Pepper Seasoning/2 Tbsp Lemon Juice. 1lbs chicken wings (about a dozen wings) Vegetable or Canola Oil 1 1/2 tbsp complete Sazon Seasoning 1 tbsp Chopped curly parsley Pinch lemon pepper seasoning
1. 2. 3. 4.
Heat oil to 350 degrees in a 3qt saucepan or electric fryer. Rinse chicken with cold water and dry with a cloth or paper towel. Toss chicken in seasoning Place chicken in a saucepan or fryer. Let cook for 12 to 15mins. ( internal temperature should be 165 degrees for 10secs) 5. While chicken is frying. Start on the lemon pepper sauce.
Crea�ng The Sauce 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
In a 10” sauté pan. Place on stove top med-high. Add bu�er, garlic, and lemon pepper seasoning. Once bu�er melts add the lemon juice or 1/2 squeezed lemon. ( remove seeds) Bring to a slight boil and remove from heat. Place wings in pan and toss. Place wings on a plate garnish with minced parsley and a pinch of lemon pepper seasoning
ave you ever witnessed a baby being born? Although the mother experiences pain during birth and releases a lot of blood, it is collectively termed a beautiful experience. Due to the pain, some mothers wouldn’t call it a beautiful experience, but it is termed beautiful because it takes supernatural abilities to make this happen. Although we can see the natural birth portion of this experience, no one has witnessed the supernatural portion of what their experience was like. Think about it. Everyone you know never talks about the supernatural portion of the birth experience because they haven’t witnessed the supernatural working. The supernatural portion of this experience makes new birth special. While reading this article, you will review how the experience of a newborn baby helps us understand some memorable moments in our lives! Genesis 6 & 7 shows that everyone focuses on Noah, his family, the animals, and the ark because they are the natural things to which the mind gravitates. Still, the supernatural is highlighted but rarely talked about. In Genesis 7:16, we see, “and the Lord shut him in.” That supernatural portion of the experience is overlooked mainly because the focus is on what the mind and natural eyes can comprehend. Still, the supernatural portion of the experience is the most important part because if God didn’t shut them in (close the door), they would’ve perished. The whole ark experience spawned a new birth.
What do the examples have to do with your walk to day ? Will you experience a new birth ? Another new birth experience happened in the story of Jonah. Jonah had initially refused to speak to the people in Nineveh because of their excessive wickedness. Once Jonah was tossed off the boat into the water, the Bible says, “Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.” Again, the supernatural preparation of the great fish is overlooked. Still, the most important part of this experience was that only God Almighty could prepare a great fish to do such a thing. Jonah’s experience with the great fish spawned a new birth. 37
So please don’t be discouraged as you go through the process but trust in God while counting all joy to His glory. What do the examples have to do with your walk today? Will you experience a new birth? I’m referring to the type of new birth after becoming a born-again Christian. I’m referring to this new birth as another step or phase in life via a supernatural experience with God. If you have a relationship with Him, He will ensure you receive confirmation referencing your new birth. He will use individuals you know personally or others you have never seen before. As for me, there were a few people (PKTB, AEB, PCLH, PSW, IJDEA, INSC, PJEN, & PRA) that I knew and some that I didn’t know that helped me see my new birth. Most of them didn’t know God was using them, but I believe all of them spoke via Holy Spirit on many different occasions helping me to focus on my new birth. Think about what’s happening in your life right now and consider who God is using to help you see if you are experiencing a new birth or have just experienced a new birth. Hopefully, you are in one of the two right now; if not, then it is coming as you stay aligned with God Almighty!
Your new birth can also be seen as a transformation or elevation with supernatural evidence. The evidence will be plain with the intent of God receiving glory from it. It will take you where God wants you to be according to His will, your will, and your faith. Please know that sometimes He must move you away from immediate family members as He did with Abraham, not to allow distractions to limit the focus on greater works. As you grasp the new birth, you will see the impact upon others and the relevance to Kingdom purposes. There are also times when He has to intervene for His children to save them from destruction, so please consult Holy Spirit to help you discern what you are experiencing and the purpose of it. Just like individuals can experience a new birth, ministries also experience a new birth. Sometimes you see a natural change in a ministry but in most of those changes is a new birth via God. God will intervene within a ministry to help His children. Look in the Book of Revelation, chapters 2 and 3, when He spoke against the churches. A change had to happen within each of them with the overall intent to help His children. Those were some of the churches in the Bible that needed a new birth, but the most important new birth was the ministry of Christ Jesus.
His ministry’s new birth was much needed for many reasons, and we are now benefitting from it. He endured many things for that new birth to manifest; sometimes, we must endure and overcome for our new birth to manifest. So please don’t be discouraged as you go through the process but trust in God while counting all joy to His glory. As for the body of Christ, we must help the collective body prepare for the ultimate new birth, which is the day of the Lord. Over the past three years, we have experienced pandemics (still in process), wars, many famous individuals passing away, monuments coming down, injustices, and other things that help us see that something is happening over the natural. God is allowing so many things to happen, and we must recognize that these are labor pains, and there is about to be a new birth. This new birth will be felt worldwide in preparation for a supernatural delivery. Let’s trust God in this! As for you and I going forward, let’s ensure we steer clear of distractions but stay aligned with God Almighty. We might have to experience pain in our new birth but let’s rejoice that we are covered in the Blood of Jesus Christ, counting it all joy. Let’s embrace the transformation and help others adjust to their new birth while simultaneously helping the Body of Christ prepare for the day of the Lord. This is within our reasonable service unto God Almighty through Christ Jesus and led by Holy Spirit, through a New Birth, Shalom! Calvin A. Brown | Leidos Information Systems Security Manager/CRO firstname.lastname@example.org |Leidos.com “Greatness sleeps within many individuals because they allow fear to stay awake!”
e are getting ready for the next level of purpose. This is a very important moment that many are embarking on. Some areas must be focused on to fully experience how extravagant it will be. This article briefly shares the importance of; “Repairing your Wellness.” As we prepare to close out 2022, we want to be wellconditioned to soar. This means we should not carry our old broken circumstances into a fresh new year. Our wellness is an accurate baseline of spiritual balance that helps complete everything we do in many areas. Therefore, I believe we must look at the areas that require attention and begin to repair them.
Your future depends on a balanced life, and quite frankly, your God-assigned purpose is needed to help others. Let’s focus on the meaning. Webster’s dictionary defines wellness as the state of being in good health while following the quality of a clear state of; Mind, Body, and Spirit. As life sometimes gets the best of us, we all have experienced brokenness that requires some repair. So how does one attempt to identify this? Acknowledging any hurt, pain, or frustration that continues to be repetitive and consistently consumes your everyday activities while staying in the same place requires attention. Seeking guidance from a trusted expert source would be the first step, and then you could talk to your local church with outreach assistance for this concern. It is a significant benefit to talk about areas damaging your mindset by releasing the tension for proper wellness repair. Researching and engaging with a life coach can unify the resources that will bring you to a safe place of repairing your wellness. It’s essential to never overthink your conditions by excluding yourself from the necessary social activities; engaging in trustworthy local groups is a positive outlook for repairing your wellness. Your future depends on a balanced life, and quite frankly, your Godassigned purpose is needed to help others. Take the necessary steps to take on your 2023 with great force by completing your 2022 with excellent execution of everything needed to be whole in wellness.
Congratulations in advance for conquering and taking control of your wellness. I pray for nothing but success and greatness for every person that reads this article. • • • •
Be Well Be Productive Be Accountable Be Blessed
Unorthodox Wellness Coach
reetings, My Health-Conscious Friends Something here to provoke thought and reinforce you are on the right track!
Strong bodies and strong minds are developed through repetitions, beliefs, and thinking patterns. Writing a workout or following it is short-lived for most, A week or two??? True success is a battlefield of the mind, and the body follows. So, let us begin with beliefs, attitudes, then actions. When is it time to become more active after you are forced to take the stairs because the elevator is down and find yourself breathing heavily after only a small walkup?
It has been well established that physical activity is not just for athletes. The rest of us need exercise on some level for mental and physical health, stamina, and longevity.
Or when are you constantly looking for bigger clothes to cover up those “growing” bulges and lumpy areas? Is it playing with the kids or grandkids (making those special moments) but having a harder time keeping up? Whatever the reason, we all come to a why at some point in our lives. It has been well established that physical activity is not just for athletes. The rest of us need exercise on some level for mental and physical health, stamina, and longevity.
If you said you were going to go to bed an hour earlier so that you could wake up an hour earlier, and you stuck to it--- that is an accomplishment!! Credit yourself!!
If you have an autoimmune condition or suffer from depression, physical activity has been shown to have anti-inflammatory effects, lessen stress on the body, and make you feel better. Granted, we all may not share the same enthusiasm regarding exercise. For whatever reason, I get we are all wired differently. Taking someone out of their comfort zone or trying to implement something that truly may be in their best interest can be a bit more complex than “just do it.” What I believe goes back to the beginning of my opening statement true success starts in the mind “beliefs, attitudes, then actions!” Have you ever set a goal for yourself and accomplished it--- do you remember how it made you feel? If you are like me, where it always feels phenomenal. When I shoot for something and see it through, there is a mind-body relationship that makes me feel proud and empowered. 45
Science says when people feel better, they assert themselves more and strive to reach personal goals. So belief in your ability comes from building yourself up. And that is our first mission here. We do not give ourselves enough credit for all the good things we do, but we dwell for years on lapses in judgment and mistakes made over and over…. It is time to rebalance the scale and give ourselves credit for all the good we do every day and not only stoak the negative. So, if you started a book and finished it – if you wanted to drink less coffee and went from four cups a day to two (that is a big deal…) If you said you were going to go to bed an hour earlier so that you could wake up an hour earlier, and you stuck to it--- that is an accomplishment!! Credit yourself!! If you started walking three times a week for twenty minutes. If you gave someone your seat on the train, helped an elderly person across the street. Again, nothing is too big or too small ----- I simply want you to acknowledge all the good you do and highlight that! … As a fitness professional, I understand complexities. However, learning new things and going outside our ingrained psychological wiring requires a process, practice, and effort.
game was a device that played a particular video game. The first camera just took pictures. All three, comparably in and of themselves, had a primary function, but when the three were combined into one device (current smartphones), the collaboration now appears astronomical. The reality is we just took one simple thing and kept improving on it. And that is how you go from a simple task to multi-faceted; connect dots So, let’s start a new belief system by learning to praise yourself more, acknowledge your work, and believe (wholeheartedly) in your abilities and the things you do. (Belief is our basic - 1st step) The second thing – create a vision board; this may sound a bit corny to those who are not already in the know----- but vision boards are official… they work! A vision board keeps your goals in plain sight. It is a constant reminder of where your mind’s eye (focus) should be – day in, day out. In this brave new world, information moves faster, louder, and brighter than ever. We have always dealt with distractions, but the sheer number these days is on a new level.
But “A journey of one thousand miles starts with the first step” All things in life are the same way; we build on one thing at a time, starting– from simple to complex.
I often ask during interviews, “what projects or accomplishments have you completed in the last ten years.” (I am looking to see how motivated, where they spend their time, performance indicators, level of discipline, and frankly, their attention span).
Today, handheld devices are commonly used; initially, the phone had a basic function, to make and receive phone calls. The first handheld video
We often distract ourselves through social media, texting, phone notifications, emails, the internet, gossiping with friends, radio,
and TV. Unfortunately, too many distractions and interruptions can profoundly affect our productivity. We get caught in a loop… and waste valuable time constantly trying to pick up where we left off. Research shows that distractions affect our brains. We like order------order helps our brain’s ability to focus. So, going over your vision board first thing in the morning (and the last thing at night) will help keep your goals omnipresent. Of course, we are human and can get caught up in the day-to-day. But engaging a “vision board” regularly allows us to redirect. This is a new skill when we see our behavior not matching up with our established goals. (Creating a new attitude). Lastly, who in your life is helping you become more patient, motivated, and wiser? Quick insight, Forever is not actually “forever” – life episodes are short, but if your life is anything like mine ---people will come, and people will go –it is not as dreadful as it sounds ------you move around, you grow, change jobs, etc. it is a very natural evolution. But good friends, role models, and positive influences go way beyond the moment. They can have a substantial psychological impact or influence that shapes the course of your life. They can influence your habits, the decisions you make, the foods you try, and what you read. Influencers impact what you do with your life in a big way. Your influencers may get you to go to the local boys and girls club and become a mentor in your free time on the weekend. Or they may want to go to the bar and “boss up” over the weekend for drinks and fun.
You must be super clear about whom you decide to spend your time with. Who are the people you follow, and what platforms sync with your goals and aspiration? These things will affect both your health and happiness. So, to quickly recap--- to bulletproof your mind 1)
Recognize and acknowledge the things you do well, all your good. Pat yourself on the back (believe in you)
Create a vision board to keep your goals at the front and center of each day, beginning and end. Redirect as soon as you see your actions are not aligned with your goals. (new attitude)
Choosing your circle of friends and associates wisely will impact how hard you work, your self-esteem, and your successes. (actions)
Google or Youtube “vision board” for ideas on how to create your personalized version---easy to do – worth its weight in gold, and update as you begin to manifest and keep growing it. I can be reached @ email@example.com to talk about fitness and as a motivational resource. Mentoring, General Fitness Training, Strength and Conditioning. Coach Mel Jamel White, M.S., P.E.S., C.E.S., C.S.S.
Website - bullymotivationalmagazine2020.com