Ball Bearings Spring 2024 The Shock Edition

BALL BEARINGS

What’s Inside

Cover design by Brenden Rowan

of Contents design by Jessica Bergfors

BALL BEARINGS

EXECUTIVE

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

DANIELA MORALES

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

ABIGAIL DENAULT

MANAGING EDITOR

LILA FIEREK

ART DIRECTORS

BRENDEN ROWAN

JESSICA BERGFORS

PHOTO EDITOR

MYA CATALINE

ASSOCIATE PHOTO EDITOR

ANDREW BERGER

SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR

NICK MCGRAW

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

JESSICA VELEZ

MAGAZINE

Editor-in-chief

STAFF

DESIGNERS

BRENDEN ROWAN

GRACE ADCOCK

JOSIE SANTIAGO

MEGHAN HOLT

MIKAELA MORALES

OLIVIA GROUND

SARAH CHAPMAN

WRITERS

AALIYAH SANSONE

ALEXIS GARCIA

DILLON ROSENLIEB

GABRIEL WEBER

GRACE LICHTY

JESSICA VELEZ

KAIRA CARTER

LILA FIEREK

MACI HOSKINS

MACK REED

MAYA KIM

ZACH GREER

MESGANA WAISS

PHOTOGRAPHERS

AALIYAH SANSONE

ANDREW BERGER

PAOLA FERNÁNDEZ JIMÉNEZ

MYA CATALINE

INTERIM ADVISER

TERRY HEIFETZ

Juan Bolanos- Zuniga, Photo Provided

From the Editor

‘Double dare ya’ ‘Double dare ya’ ‘Double dare ya’ ‘Double dare ya’

Warning: These stories may shock you.

The Shock Issue has been my biggest undertaking in my three years with this publication. The Ball Bearings Magazine team worked hard to change our style guide completely and to make sure these story topics were given justice and not taken lightly. At first, the idea expanded from “what is an event that has shocked people” to “what issues or events do we want people to care about or understand.”

Soon thereafter, we came across zine magazines. Zine magazines started circulating around the 1930s. Essentially, they were self-made booklets, often very creative, detailing a certain topic. They could be anything from short stories, poems, and lyrics to funky designs and photos, but something that really drew me to their concept was the riot grrrl movement. In the 1990s, zine magazines were produced alongside the feminist movement and covered taboo topics of the time. They empowered women, specifically in the punk rock scene, to start their own bands and make their own voices heard. According to KCPR-FM at California Polytechnic University, the punk rock scene was very white-male centered to the point where female punk rock bands weren’t

taken seriously, were mocked, or felt unwelcome, so they took matters into their own hands with riot grrrl rock.

from the editor

Taking inspiration for this issue using zines and topics that were important to our staff is a huge part of the Shock Issue. From personal essays detailing loss to understanding more about reproductive health, I hope you all read this issue with the intention of gaining a new perspective.

I know I did. I learned not to take my life for granted, to savor every moment a little bit more, and to fight for what I believe is right. In the past three years of being with this publication, I shocked myself. In a good way. Whenever I felt like I couldn’t do the job, it got done no matter what.

Scan this QR code to listen to “Double Dare Ya” by Bikini Kill.

So as you read this issue, I want all of you to take a look around you and figure out what you can do. Advocate for an issue you believe is right!

I hope these stories resonate with you, and I hope you sit with them. Let them shock you, and do something about it. Take the time to make your own zine for the world.

Make your voice heard, and don’t let anyone take that away from you 

a DESIRE BELONG TO

Three Muncie residents reflect on the weaponization of belonging.

By Mesgana Waiss

The views of the sources used in this story do not reflect the views of the magazine. Content warning: This story contains mentions of suicide.

In the spring of 1931, a small Indiana town became the birthplace of Jim Jones, who claimed to be the next Messiah primed to take believers away from this earth.

During the mid-1950s, he founded the People’s Temple in Indianapolis. The selfproclaimed “enlightened one” had his eyes set on an oppression-less paradise.

He created Jonestown, a commune located in Guyana.

On Nov. 18, 1978, he convinced more than 900 of his followers to join him in drinking cyanide-laced “Kool-Aid” to enter salvation. It remains the largest murdersuicide in history.

A portrait of Jim Jones.

Photo illustration by Meghan Holt / Wikimedia Commons, Photo Courtesy

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, a cult is a religious or quasireligious group with unusual or atypical beliefs, which secludes its members from the outside world and has an authoritarian structure. It adds that cults tend to be highly cohesive, well-organized, secretive, and hostile to nonmembers.

Cults are not only religious in nature. According to the Foundation for Economic Education, they are formed around an individual, an object, an animal, or a concept.

Nathaneal Snow, an associate professor of economics at Ball State University with research expertise in informal social groups, says most cults have distinct ideologies and methods of manipulation and abuse. A cult’s lifecycle is often marked by four stages: recruitment, indoctrination, isolation, and sometimes dissolution.

Snow says cults have the following three requirements for their members: sacrifice, stigma, and trust.

He says all cults eventually face tension between leaders and their members, and tension often leads to self-destructive techniques that cause the organizations to collapse.

In this age, Americans find themselves lonelier than ever, according to GCF Global. This may be a reason people turn to cults.

“It’s a very human kind of thing. We desire more than anything else to belong, and we desperately want to trust people,” Snow says.

Indiana has an extensive history of alternative communities and cults, such as the 1814 religious group Harmonist. According to the Indiana Archives and Records Administration, they were known for their beliefs in celibacy, communal living, and the Second Coming of Christ. However, while some organizations are not nationally recognized as cults, some of their members have experienced what they felt were cult-like tendencies.

Photo taken by FBI agents in Jonestown following the Jonestown massacre in Guyana Nov. 18, 1978. Wikimedia Commons, Photo Courtesy

the Reality of Rush

Rush week has re-emerged on campuses across the country since fraternities and sororities put recruitment week on hold during the COVID-19 pandemic.

While some have perfectly positive rush experiences, 22-year-old Kailee Fowler says rush was a stressful time, especially for active members who must put in long hours during selection sessions and bid day.

According to the Office of Student Life, Ball State is home to 30 sororities and fraternities.

“They make it look so fun. You don’t realize it until you’re in it, you are a part of that advertising,” she says. “During my first recruitment, I almost dropped because I was so overwhelmed by the process.”

Kailee has two words to describe her sisterhood: toxic and expensive.

During her time spent in the sorority, she did not encounter hazing. Instead, she says everyone was volatile toward each other. She says it was Wondery’s “Morbid,” a true crime podcast, that helped her reflect on what she says is the cult-like tendencies within her sorority.

“Being in a sorority a lot of people … will be like, ‘Do you know you’re in a cult?’ And the whole time you’re like, no, that’s not true. And then you get out, and you’re like, that’s kind of a cult,” Kailee says.

She says a strict dress code was enforced for events and a few mandatory chapter meetings. For example, they were to wear white for initiations and pinning ceremonies.

Kailee says that for formal chat, which was on the first Sunday of every month, members were required to wear clothes that covered their midriff and cleavage. All dress and skirt lengths were to be finger-tip length.

“You’re not allowed to smoke, have sex, drink, or anything for the week before initiation,” Kailee says.

This, Kailee adds, was so that the girls would stay “pure.”

She was the social chair of her sorority, which required her to plan all the organization’s social events.

Kailee also disliked the costliness of monthly dues, which were about $100.

“We were not allowed to talk about the money of the sorority during recruitment,” Kailee says. “We could not tell them

6 | ballbearingsmag.com | Spring 2024

about paying dues or any of that.”

She left Ball State and the sorority around the same time during her junior year. Kailee estimates she spent close to $5,000 on dues and activities during her three years in the organization.

Kailee offers this advice to students who may want to rush a sorority or fraternity.

“My biggest piece of advice would be during recruitment,” she says. “Don’t care what they think about you … it is more important if you like the sorority. You need to find where you belong. I do think there were other sororities that I could have been happier in.”

members worldwide. Former Ball State student Ashton Clark and his family were once represented in this number.

Ashton was born to a multi-generational Mormon family. He spent most of his life in a church pew and was told he would become a missionary. Each day before school, he attended seminary for an hour. On Wednesdays and some Saturdays, he attended activity nights at church.

But at age 14, Ashton had a change of heart. He began to question his faith and its teachings.

“I was kind of thinking for myself for once in my life,” he says.

He and his mother consumed “antichurch” material aimed at Mormon believers on the fence. It was then that Ashton discovered the church’s racial history against Black people.

When you start debating, it’s not a debate. It’s an insult to who they are as a person because their identity is tied to the church.”

- Ashton Clark, Former member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Trauma In the Pews

The Church of Jesus Christ of LatterDay Saints (LDS), commonly called “Mormons,” is a religious movement founded in the 19th century by Joseph Smith Jr. He was an American religious leader who claimed to have received revelations from God to translate the Book of Mormon.

According to the church’s April 2023 report, the church has around 17 million

Smith Jr. and his successor Brigham Young taught their congregation that dark skin was a curse from God using the biblical story of Cain and Abel. An article in the “Journal of Mormon History” explains how this racial narrative was entrenched in Mormon doctrine for many years like Smith Jr.’s 1842 “Book of Abraham.” This contributed to discriminatory practices and attitudes within the faith.

entrenched in Mormon doctrine for many years like

According to the Century of Black Mormons, the one-drop policy prevented anyone with Black ancestry from the LDS priesthood and admission into the temples. This decision was not reversed until 1978.

According to the Century of Black

In 2013, the church published an essay, “Race and the Priesthood,” which denounced its prior racist beliefs and has since worked to improve race relations. They formed a partnership with the NAACP and committed $3 million to fund scholarships for Black students.

They formed a partnership with the scholarships for Black students.

According to the Pew Research Center, today Black people make up 1% of the LDS church.

Ashton says he would vehemently debate these findings with his family and friends in the church, but he was told that this was “God’s plan.”

“When you start debating, it’s not a debate. It’s an insult to who they are as a person because their identity is tied to the church,” Ashton says. “And if they’re wrong, their identities are wrong, so they will defend that above anything.”

According to the Pew Research Center, friends in the church, but he was told that debate. It’s an insult to who they are as the church,” Ashton says. “And if they’re their above

The native of Columbus, Indiana, says he felt he was in a cult based on what he calls the church’s indoctrination process. The

Photo illustration by Meghan Holt

LDS church has emphasized its core beliefs, practices, and community engagement in response to cult allegations.

Ashton officially left the church at 18.

A Literal Cult Following

Is there a way to reframe a cult decades after its subsequent tragic ending?

Muncie native and Ball State alumnus, Tommy Miller, thinks so.

He originally studied religion at Ball State before switching to music education because he was enamored by the diverse ideologies.

“I just remember having my mind blown at the number of different religions in Muncie,” Tommy says. “I was like, ‘Oh my God. There’s so many different kinds of people here.’”

He started his band, Void King, nine years ago with his little brother, a best friend of 40 years, and a local musician.

Void King carries with them a philosophy. Tommy says they exist in the sonic landscape akin to Black Sabbath but louder. The robust vocals on “Skull Junkie” from their debut album, “There Is Nothing,” bleeds into an aggressive guitar solo and elaborate drum beats.

The four rockstars elevated their performance art with two words — Heaven’s Gate.

Heaven’s Gate was a cult founded in the 1970s by “The Two,” born Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Lu Nettles. The cult regained notoriety in March 1997 when 39 of its members committed mass suicide in California.

“It has always intrigued me that you can listen to one guy talk and alter everything about your life in such a way that you end up killing yourself over it,” he says.

Void King strives to attain a “cult charisma.” This fascination led the bandmates to each buy a pair of nowdiscontinued Nike Millenniums. These shoes were found on the cultists’ corpses as a part of their black uniform.

Tommy says he and the others want to be purposeful and committed to this charisma, but he says he would never fall for the illusion of a cult.

He has researched many cults and extends a level of empathy to those who are caught up in the hype and mystique. He says he is remiss to use the adjective “crazy” because the people who followed Heaven’s Gate, the People’s Temple, and other cults just wanted to belong.

The band has toured both Europe and the United States.

Muncie is the home base for the making of Void King’s music.

At the beginning of the band’s set, they used to walk out to a minute of Applewhite’s three-hour-long farewell recording. Tommy says it set a tone to progress their stage show.

Three of the four band members were raised in religious households. During Void King’s live performances, the singer sings behind a pulpit from the church he attended in his youth.

Tommy is unsure if the band will deviate from the Heaven’s Gate source text, but he says they hope to continue to build a cult fanbase of listeners. 

Guitarist Tommy Miller playing his guitar while practicing with his group “Void King” in their home March 21, 2024 in Muncie, Ind. Paola Fernández Jiménez, Ball Bearings

release fro Returning citizens reflect on their life after prison.

By Lila Fierek

It was 1990. Tracy Cochrane, who was only 16 years old, was charged with first-degree murder. Two years later, he was sentenced to 67 years in prison in Illinois. He never thought he’d see the “real world” again.

Tracy lived his life day by day, especially since he wouldn’t get out until he was in his 80s — if he lived that long. So when laws quickly changed and Tracy was released immediately, he didn’t know how to deal with it.

When he went to prison in Illinois, the only cell phones that existed were brick phones, and Google was a figment of imagination. There were a few options to help prisoners with reentry, but with an immediate release and COVID-19 going strong, Tracy was released after 30 years in prison with little help to adapt to the world again.

“What prison doesn’t do is they never prepare you for the emotional toll it takes on you once you get out,” Tracy says.

The reality of re-entry

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, approximately 95% of State prisoners will be released at some point.

Despite this, there is a lack of programs to help returning citizens, or people who were previously incarcerated, and it’s a reason the recidivism rate in the United States is so high.

Recidivism, according to the Indiana Department of Correction, is a return to incarceration within three years of an offender’s date of release from a correctional institution.

Jennifer Schriver, a professor and the chairperson of the Department of Psychology at Indiana State University, has been doing research to help with issues for people who are incarcerated and with reentry.

Reentry, according to the National Institute of Justice, is the transition from life in jail or prison to life in the community.

Returning citizens need to consider a number of things once they’re released from prison: housing, medical care, employment, getting a drivers’ license, insurance, mental health treatment, and more.

“The longer you spend inside, the fewer connections you have outside, the fewer resources you have on your release,”

Schriver says.

entry

is the transition from life in jail or prison to life in the community.

She says the title of being a felon adds to this because, depending on the crime, that label can restrict people from public housing, voting, where they can live, what jobs they can have, etc.

Misconceptions can make life for returning citizens more difficult. Schriver says many people have the misconception that everyone who is incarcerated is dangerous or violent, but most people in prison are there for nonviolent charges.

According to the Prison Policy Initiative, approximately 72% of federal prisoners are serving time for non-violent offenses and have no history of violence.

Source: National Institute of Justice of State prisoners

One of the biggest struggles Schriver has seen after returning citizens leave prison is being overwhelmed by the amount of freedom they have and adapting to having choices again.

Lost time

Josie Santiago, Ball Bearings

This is something Tracy noticed once he was released from prison. Since he was conditioned to a life without any freedoms, it was hard for him to adapt.

He mentioned relating to a fellow inmate who broke down at the supermarket because the number of options was too much. The amount of pressure Tracy felt after coming home led him to have a mental breakdown in his room.

“You realize that you’re out, and you have all these emotions coming to you that you had locked away for so long and don’t know how to deal with,” Tracy says.

He was 16 when he turned himself in to the police. He stayed in youth detention centers until he was 18, and then he was convicted of firstdegree murder as an adult and sent to prison.

Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics Approximately

Tracy took a plea agreement of 67 years, but he says he felt coerced to take it.

On March 31, 1990, along with a friend, Tracy abetted in the murder of his father.

According to case details from People vs. Cochrane, Tracy and his friend murdered his father to stop him from calling the police about a burglary they’d committed at his home.

Tracy says he wanted to go to trial to present the mitigating facts.

He says his dad was an "abusive alcoholic" who molested a young family member growing up.

Tracy says his lawyer told him he would be found guilty regardless and encouraged him to take the plea rather than risk getting natural life.

natural LIe

When a person lives out their full life in prison without the option for good time or parole.

Tracy stayed in three prisons in Illinois during his 30 years: Old Joliet Prison, Menard Correctional Facility, and Danville Correctional Center, where he was eventually released.

When Tracy started his life in a correctional facility, he tried to stay in contact with his friends and family, but he realized quickly how difficult it would be. Other people had lives to live or struggled to see him. In the beginning, he tried to keep up with the outside world.

Tracy had heard about the law, so he tried to prepare himself for potential release, but with it being 2020, there wasn’t much he could do.

“You can’t be a burden to anyone,” Tracy says to himself. “You’ve already been a burden the whole time you were in prison, so you can’t do that once you get out.”

On the day Tracy was released, he was overwhelmed. His family picked him up, but they weren’t sure where to take him. He was planning to stay with his brother, but according to Illinois 720 ILCS 5/12-36, felons aren’t allowed to live with “vicious dogs,” including German shepherds and pitbulls. His brother had both, so he wasn’t able to stay there until another relative took the dogs.

When he walked in, his younger brother was sitting on the couch, and he had grown nephews there he’d never met.

“I got in my head like, ‘You’re never going to get out of prison, so why pay attention to anything that is going on [outside of prison] because that’s just keeping dreams and hopes alive that you shouldn’t have,’” Tracy says.

He tried to stay busy in prison by studying religion and working. Tracy also took carpentry classes, but since the only education he had was from a book, he doesn’t feel confident putting what he learned into action.

Unlike other prisoners, Tracy didn’t realize he was going to get out of prison when he did. Illinois Public Act 100-1182 was passed in 2020, making it unconstitutional for any juvenile 17 years old or younger to be given a life sentence without parole. Because of this, anyone who was eligible but had been convicted between 1978 and 2019 were released under certain circumstances. For those convicted of first-degree murder, it was 20 years or more, and since Tracy had already served 30, he was released immediately.

“When you’re in there, everything stops, and then you get out and realize how fast life goes on,” Tracy says.

Once the Illinois native was released, he was shocked by the lack of people outdoors because of COVID-19. He felt like he had gone from a big prison to an even smaller one.

He says in prison he was “brainwashed” to think no one would give him a job because he was a felon. Having to use the Internet to apply for jobs was another struggle for him. Eventually, he got frustrated, walked into a place, and was offered a job.

Since then, Tracy has become a “Christ follower” and has been able to keep some of the relationships with other men he met in prison.

“We’ll talk about how you don’t miss prison, but you miss all the people you met in prison, and some people were actually good people who made mistakes in their lives and are trying to correct those mistakes,” he says. “Not everyone in there is a terrible person.”

- Jennifer Schriver, Indiana State University professor and chairperson of the Department of Psychology

Today, Tracy works in a factory that produces hygienic products for hospitals and prisons.

“My worst day out here is better than my best day in prison,” he says.

Despite this, Tracy doesn’t want to forget about his time in prison because it made him who he is today, and he is proud of himself.

Appreciating the little things

The first thing Josh DeVore did after spending almost 10 years at Danville Correctional Center was get a bacon cheeseburger.

“Prison food is almost like school food,” he says. “It’s a little worse than that though, it’s very bland, there is no seasoning.”

Josh served nine years after being convicted in 2012 for possession of cocaine with intent to deliver. He was sentenced to 14 years in Illinois, but he got out early on good time and was released in 2021.

Josh was able to make good time by working in the prison’s recycling plant and taking a handful of college courses. He was close to getting his associate’s degree when COVID-19 hit.

A reward for prisoners who conform to prison rules or participate in prison programs. This allows them to accelerate their date of release. Each state determines good time differently.

Josh DeVore before, during, and after he was in prison. The photos span from 2010-2023 in Illinois.

Josh DeVore, Photos Provided; Josie Santiago, Photo Illustration

A second chance

Despite being in jail for a similar amount of time, Alex Crossen’s reentry experience was much different than Josh’s. Alex was in prison from March 13, 2011 to Dec. 4, 2023, but instead of being immediately released, he spent the final year of his term at a work release center.

the Indiana Department of Correction found that those who participated in work release programs were 47.72% less likely to reoffend.

At work release centers, prisoners are able to get experience working outside of prison and preparing for life after their release.

“I really feel like this is a really positive and good opportunity for most people that come out because of the structure that it gives,” Alex says.

When Alex went to prison, he was 21: the same amount of years he was originally sentenced to. Alex was convicted of aggravated kidnapping of an adult.

He was looking to fit in and started to hang out with a crowd who, he says, didn’t make “the best decisions.” While he was with them, someone robbed him and another friend, so they decided to confront the man. This is when the crime was committed.

Despite having the gut-wrenching sinking feeling about the decision, Alex turned himself in.

Once he went to prison, he tried to take initiative and figure out what he wanted to gain from his time there. He did this by getting in tune mentally with himself.

“The stay is not anything that anyone would want. It automatically strips you of any say so for yourself,” Alex says. “You get told what to do in every aspect of your life moving forward. The stay is never something that’s comfortable, that’s easy, but I made the most out of it.”

While at correctional facilities, he started college courses, and he ended up working his way up into a role where he helped place other individuals throughout the facility.

According to the Department of Justice, the more programs offenders are involved in, whether that be work or educational courses, the less likely they are to return to prison.

Alex says one of the biggest hardships about being in prison is that it hurts your loved ones. He spent time at Pinckneyville Correctional Center and Danville Correctional Center, so his visitors had to drive over six hours to visit him. Due to the amount of effort it took for people to visit him, he lost a lot of people in his life.

One challenge Alex struggled with after being released was setting up health care and finding a primary physician. He believes people not having enough preparation for leaving prison is why recidivism is so high.

During his time at the work release center, Alex worked and was required to save money, so each week, they’d take his check and give him an allowance. This was so he would have money saved up for housing, transportation, and food once finished with the work release.

Since leaving prison, Alex has learned to think twice before he reacts and make decisions for himself. He doesn’t let small pressures like work or car troubles get to him.

“I’m just being appreciative, being grateful for what one would call a second chance,” he says.

Over 650,000 people from State and Federal prisons, according to the White House, will become returning citizens every year.

As of 2024, President Joe Biden proclaimed April as Second Chance Month. Biden says Second Chance Month is an opportunity to support returning citizens and give them a fair shot at “the American Dream.” 

- Josh DeVore, returning citizen after almost 10 years

Everything seemed like it was moving at 100 miles per hour."

Photo taken by Aaliyah Sansone

Photo taken by Aaliyah Sansone

These are the battlegrounds where womanhood unveils

its true self.

By Aaliyah Sansone

Amid the common stereotypes perpetuated by men toward women, such as the belief that “women belong in the kitchen,” there exists a rigid expectation for women to embody an idealized femininity: graceful, beautiful, and sweet. However, the truth is far more nuanced.

Women are multifaceted beings, capable of both elegance and rawness. They can be messy, chaotic, rude, and primal. Despite societal pressures to maintain a polished exterior, women are fundamentally human — capable of embracing their imperfections and authenticity.

In this series, my aim was to unveil a side of womanhood rarely depicted — a woman embracing her true self

unapologetically. It’s about navigating the delicate balance of presenting oneself as sweet and approachable on the surface while harboring a rich complexity within.

I focused on exploring spaces that serve as sanctuaries for women, where they can shed societal norms and simply exist. The bathroom emerges as one such refuge — a place where women convene to escape social pressures, engage in shared rituals like makeup, or sing their hearts out in the privacy of a shower turned concert hall.

Similarly, the kitchen holds a special significance. I especially noticed while living with girls, it’s where, after a taxing day, we find solace in each other’s company, lying together on the floor, sharing our joys and sorrows over a meal or a cup of tea. Yet, the kitchen also

serves as a metaphorical battleground, where stereotypes weaponized against women often surface.

The inception of this series was marked by vibrant hues and whimsical imagery juxtaposed against the backdrop of stereotypical spaces assigned to women. The bathroom and kitchen, though sanctuaries for female camaraderie, are also arenas where women are subjected to ridicule for seeking solace. It’s within these dichotomies — between sanctuary and scrutiny, expectation and authenticity — that the complexities and contradictions of womanhood come to light. Through my work, I aim to challenge these stereotypes and celebrate the resilience and diversity inherent in womanhood. 

Photo Essay

Photo taken by Aaliyah Sansone

2024

Ball Bearings

Photos taken by Aaliyah Sansone 17 | Ball Bearings

Thesystem

Foster care places children in vulnerable positions.

By Gabriel Weber

Imagine you’re given a bag of mixed candies; some contain excruciating poison, and some are perfectly sweet. The illusion of choice has been eliminated; you are starving and must eat regardless. This is the reality of children in foster care.

Foster care may be able to provide more opportunities and a better quality of life for a kid in the system than their biological family. It also has the potential to double down on the trauma already experienced.

Foster care, according to Child Welfare Information Gateway, is a temporary court-monitored service that promotes the safety and well-being of children and youth. The government supports foster care through funding and legislation. Caregivers often have to be licensed and trained to provide children with shelter, support, and care, but it differs by state.

In Indiana, foster parents must be at least 21, go through a background check, and be licensed by the Department of Children Services.

A child can end up in foster care due to a variety of parental problems, including illness, incarceration, substance abuse, unexpected death, intellectual disabilities, and more. It can also be due to severe behavioral problems children have that biological parents can’t handle.

Afterward, a social worker investigates and potentially obtains a judge’s approval to remove the child from the house.

Heather Tarpley grew up in a home that provided hotline care for kids and started caring for kids at 13 years old, which contributed to her decision to foster later in life.

Heather says her family felt grief from getting attached to a child that must be relinquished later on. She called it a bittersweet feeling providing hurt children a safe, loving, temporary home.

“My mom still, to this day, talks about those kids and wonders how they’re doing and wishes that she could figure out that information,” she says. “I still can see their little faces, they don’t go away.”

Heather says biological families must agree to keep contact with the foster children, so once a child leaves care, the connection could be gone forever.

Heather feels especially protective around the numerous assumptions made about her kids and their situations.

traumatic emotional experiences in childhood morph into organic diseases later in life. However, research shows that child-focused models of traumainformed care actually reduce posttraumatic stress symptoms.

Trauma-informed care depicts a patient’s complete life story in order to provide effective health care services.

There’s this grandioso-type mindset that foster parents are doing this great and wonderful thing without ever really digging deep enough to realize the depth of it all.”

- Heather Tarpley, Foster parent

“Often people will say, ‘[The kids] are so lucky for us,’” she says. “There’s this grandioso-type mindset that foster parents are doing this great and wonderful thing without ever really digging deep enough to realize the depth of it all.”

Mental and Physical Health

According to AdoptUSKids, there are more than 400,000 kids in the United States foster care system, and, according to Science Direct, they are two to four times more likely to suffer

Stephanie Boehm has fostered five children and adopted three. Boehm and her family knew before becoming a foster family that their home would not solely foster. They expected the outcome of adoption.

“We always had the intention that if a child became legally free, we would adopt them,” Boehm says. “If a child entered our home, they would not leave our home unless the system removed them because we believe in stability and commitment to the kids.”

Boehm is an advocate for a traumainformed system and an overhaul of the foster care system; all three of her kids were a product of generational foster care — meaning they were not the first in their families to go through the system.

“The majority of our kids and the majority of families, they love their kids,” she says. “And I believe that the best place for a child is with their biological family ... I don’t think the majority of parents are trying to harm their kids, but they lack the tools to know how to possibly parent or to do something different from what they learned.”

Relationships with trust at the core provide the foundation for healing through genuine support by attempting to understand the kind of trauma children in foster care are exposed to.

However, the harsh reality of foster care, according to “think of us,” is that 16% of children enter foster care as a result of physical or sexual abuse. The majority have been separated from their families as a result of neglect.

After becoming directly involved with the foster system, Heather was forced to reckon with her own assumptions around situations that caused the displacement of a child. Heather took the chance to have a family visit with her adopted child’s biological family and was able to further understand their life conditions.

Heather says that even a 50-cent raise at a minimum-wage job can remove many welfare benefits that these families rely on to survive.

“At that point, it is better for them to never improve, because that 50 cents an hour isn’t going to make up all that they’re going to lose to get that 50 cents an hour increase of pay,” she says. “That’s the brokenness of the system where they are being held down.”

In most states, when a child turns 18, they are considered an adult and emancipated from the state. This happens to more than 24,000 kids every year.

There is potential to face and rectify structural flaws, corruption, abuse in the system, and convoluted legalities through awareness.

Heather says people can help by challenging the system and seeking the difficult truth.

“As a whole, we’re all about brushing it under the rug, but this is not something that needs to be brushed under the rug,” she says. “This needs to be brought to light and opened up. We need to keep asking hard questions.” 

Types of Foster Care

1. Unrestrcited

In unrestricted foster care, a foster parent provides care through the state and receives about $27 a night per child.

2. Comprehensive (CFC)

For CFC, parents are trained, assessed, and receive approximately $59.39 a night per child. Children in CFC generally require a greater amount of care.

3. Hotline

Hotline homes provide emergency care for a few nights.

4. Respite

Source:

Respite care houses a child short term, so their long-term foster parents have the space to navigate emergencies.

Illustrations by Grace Adcock

Justice Resource Institute Design by Grace Adcock

Andrew Berger, Ball Bearings Photo

Throughout my life, I would’ve never assumed that something “bad” would happen to me. Growing up generally healthy, the thought of being ill would’ve never crossed my radar, but sometimes life takes you in an unexpected direction.

The fall of 2022 was the healthiest I’d ever been. From having a healthy body weight to working out, I felt amazing, like there was nothing wrong with me,

In November, I started noticing my face swelling up in the mornings underneath my eyes. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. I was a college student in my junior year, so a lack of sleep was something I was accustomed to.

Content Warning: This story contains mentions of suicide.

My entire lifestyle had to change. I was forced to go to bed early every night to make sure I was getting at least 10 hours of sleep. I was forced to switch my diet to only eating all-natural foods deemed nutritionally beneficial. I was forced to take three different medications to make sure my body would not naturally shut down again. One of these medications was called Prednisone, a type of steroid that is taken to reduce inflammation and swelling in the body.

something

However, as days continued to

However, as days continued to go on, I started becoming more and more inflamed and tired around my body. My arms and legs also swelled, and it was hard to get out of bed in the morning. This is when my parents had enough and decided to take me to Lutheran Hospital Fort Wayne.

The doctors realized my kidneys were slowly starting to deteriorate, and I needed to get a kidney biopsy. This is a procedure where they remove a small sample of a person’s kidney with a needle to determine the diagnosis.

The doctors diagnosed me with lupus, an autoimmune disease where your body attacks its tissues

In the three-week period after getting released from the hospital in November 2022, I was taking about 30 milligrams of Prednisone in the form of a 10-milligram pill three times a day with each meal. However, the problem with this medication is it is too powerful for the human body in high doses. Once finals week rolled around, I wasn’t well enough to stay at school and decided to go home early to take care of my body.

I never would’ve predicted what was going to happen in the days ahead.

What? An autoimmune disease? From being in the best shape of my life to having my life altered in the span of three weeks, the diagnosis shook me to my core.

span of three weeks, the diagnosis

After four days of taking Prednisone, I felt physically uneasy in my stomach. It was a sort of “sinking” feeling, like my body knew something was wrong. This information was something I brought up to my parents, but we assumed it was something expected from the pill. I had never been sick like this before. How was I supposed to know what was right and wrong?

Fast forward to the morning of Dec. 14, 2022. I woke up around 5 a.m. with a terrible pain in my stomach, unlike anything I had ever felt. My parents overheard the screams coming from my bedroom, which gradually increased in volume as I walked downstairs. I dropped down into my parents’ recliner in a full sweat with uncontrollable breathing. It felt as though someone was repeatedly stabbing me in my abdomen. Being a former athlete, I understood what pain felt like, but this sensation was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was having a stomach ulcer.

Once my parents realized this was something out of their control, they knew they had to call an ambulance and get me to the hospital. The stabbing pain from the ulcer lasted for seven hours until I was able to have emergency surgery that day.

Two traumatic experiences back-to-back in your life can make it hard to adjust back to ‘normal.’”

The results from the surgery left a giant scar down the center of my stomach. Once it was over, it was revealed that the cause of the ulcer was due to the excessive amount of Prednisone that I was taking.

To put it simply, my initial doctor had prescribed me too much of a medication that caused my body to attack itself from the inside.

Each of these hospital visits left me physically and mentally shocked to the point where I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Two traumatic experiences back-to-back in your life can make it hard to adjust back to “normal.” The added number of stressors college brought was something I needed to think about.

The next semester in 2023 was spent recovering from these experiences. It was sad to isolate myself away from friends to better my health.

Senior Ball State student Zach Greer shows the scars on his arm for a photo March 26, 2024 in the Art and Journalism Building in Muncie, Ind.Andrew Berger, Ball Bearings

semester, I went to IU Health Ball Memorial Hospital to do blood work. After that semester ended, I started to notice something wasn’t right about my appearance. I became inflamed again, and my lupus started to flare back up. Due to these recent flare-ups, I had to go back to the hospital. One of the symptoms of lupus is that your body does not produce enough blood flow, causing your bones to become severely weaker. This ended up being another week in the hospital with constant needles and IVs forced into my body, so doctors could monitor my vitals.

beauty of waking up in the morning every day. As much as I was traumatized from the whole experience, to know there are people who would trade lives with me in a heartbeat is something I try not to take for granted.

1.5 million people in the U.S. have lupus.

Three different hospital visits. Three different weeks. All in the span of six months.

I knew the hospital visits made me sad, but they also made me question my existence as a whole.

Throughout this six-month process, I had numerous suicidal thoughts run through my mind. I figured it would be an easy escape from the harsh realities of life. So, the bigger question is why didn’t I end up going through with it and taking an “easy way out”? To answer that question, I don’t know to this day, but thank goodness I didn’t.

Sure, I still take pills every single day to make sure flare-ups don’t happen again. Sure, I still do check-ups with my doctor to make sure nothing in my vitals is anything suspicious. Sure, I am still not allowed to eat specific foods to avoid another week sleeping in a hospital bed. All these things to a 21-year-old college student would be annoying, but it’s something I’ve had to adapt to.

To anyone who might be struggling with the way they physically look or finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning, all I will say is this: keep going. Just being alive is already a blessing. Was this experience shocking? Absolutely. But I hope that sharing this story about myself will allow whoever is reading this to push through whatever you might be experiencing.

You are already making so many people proud by simply existing. 

10% of people with lupus are men.

Most people develop lupus between ages 15-44.

Source: Lupus Foundation of America

Spring 2024 | Ball Bearings | 23

Senior Ball State student Zach Greer shows the scars on his stomach March 26, 2024 in the Art and Journalism Building in Muncie, Ind. Andrew Berger, Ball Bearings

Sex.

Sex.

By Jessica Velez

Discussions of sex, or lack thereof, in Indiana schools are leaving students frustrated.

*Content warning: This article contains discussions of rape, abortion, and sexual violence.

When Indiana native Chelsea McDonnel found out she was pregnant at 17 years old, the feeling of fear became consuming. She had no idea how her body would change and react. She was “terrified” of dying while pregnant.

This life-altering experience woke McDonnel up to the lack of sex education received by students in Indiana schools and led her to co-found the progressive advocacy organization MADVoters Indiana.

For every 1,000 births in Indiana, 17 of them are from 15 to 19 year olds. America’s Health Rankings shows that regardless of the lowering teen pregnancy rates in the nation, Indiana has one of the highest rates in the country. However, despite the high rate, sex education is not required in the state.

Hoosier students who have experienced sex education have expressed disdain for the curriculum and the topics discussed during the classes. Many report feeling ill-educated on how bodies actually work and what resources are available to them, much like McDonnel did.

According to the Sex Education Collaborative, Indiana schools are, at minimum, required to provide instruction on HIV, and the curriculum must stress abstinence as the expected social standard.

But Ball State director of Health Promotion and Advocacy (HPA) Suzanne Swierc says sex education should encompass much more than that.

“(It) includes information about the human body and its functions, what it can and cannot do, and how to take care of it,” Swierc says. “Sex education also includes conversations about consent. It needs to include conversations about how to pleasure and safety.”

Swierc says safety includes not just physical but also mental aspects. Students have to learn the importance of communication and how it relates to sexual safety.

The frustrations

Social work major James Nichols graduated from a small, rural high school in Crawfordsville, Indiana, and personally experienced a middle and high school education that lacked discussions of sex and sexual health. James says many of the students he graduated with weren’t presented with information on sex until they were in college, which many deem as too late.

While not having to take any sex education classes, James did have to attend a health class that was taught by a local pastor. He recalls students that identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community asking questions, and in return, the pastor would ignore them.

Penis and vagina are not curse words, and it’s okay for people to know that that’s what the body parts are called.”

-Suzanne Swierc, Ball State director of Health Promotion and Advocacy

Illustration

by:

Brenden Rowan

“He would sometimes play his guitar and start singing worship songs, or he would change the subject and really do a more religion-based information session,” James says.

McDonnel has found that religion has the ability to create shame for some students, especially if a church or pastor teaches the sex education at the school.

James sees the reflection of shame from conservative and religious teachings beyond the classroom and in the relationships in his hometown often. He says conversations about sex have to happen outside of the community because no one in it is willing to have them.

“In smaller, conservative areas, you didn’t see people kissing or holding hands, because that’s not what they believe in,” James says. “You don’t believe in public affection.”

While some students in Indiana do have sex education classes, many of them find the takeaways to be slim and fearmongering.

based violence prevention topics. It was through this program that Alicia became aware that not only does Indiana not require sex education, but the sex education that some schools do have does not have to be inclusive either.

While sex education in Indiana might ignore the topics of having sex as a person with a disability or as someone a part of the LGBTQ+ community, that is the reality of many students.

James has muscular dystrophy and has found that there’s still a stigma around disability and sex. As a peer wellness ambassador for HPA, James has pushed for sex education to start reaching students with disabilities.

The reality

Teen pregnancy disproportionately affects certain teenagers more than others. According to America’s Health Rankings, teenagers in foster care, living in lower-income counties, and from counties with lower educational attainment are more likely to face teen pregnancy. It also affects Native American, Hispanic, Black, and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander teenagers at double the rate of white teenagers.

Students in those categories, especially ones living below the poverty line, need help from their communities and better contraceptive resources, Alicia says.

“Women need justice; I deserve better than this. I want other women and girls and people with a uterus to have the information that I wasn’t given.”

- Chelsea McDonnel, Co-founder of MADVoters Indiana

Muncie native and psychology major Alicia Van Duyn did have sex education in middle and high school. However, she recalls her sex education classes as mostly focused on abstinence and STI/STDs.

She didn’t have the opportunity to have more conversations about the intersectionality of sex until coming to Ball State and becoming a peer wellness

Peer wellness ambassadors get hands-on experience designing, coordinating, and conducting a variety of programs and workshops for other university students on health, wellness, and gender-

“No one ever wants to have that conversation and open it up,” he says. “It’s important to me that others know that sex is an option, and there are ways to go about it where it doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable conversation.”

Alicia says much of the discomfort surrounding sex that her peers experience stems from having an abstinence-focused education. She emphasized that pushing for abstinence discourages students from reaching out to adults with questions about sex. They may be afraid to ask about sex and contraceptive options, which can lead to more dire consequences.

“[Teenagers] end up doing some stuff just to figure out how things work, and, oftentimes, that does lead to teen pregnancies when students are not ready or even have the resources to actually be capable of raising a child,”

Alicia says.

by: Brenden

Rowan

“If we could potentially get community partners to actually help out these students, or even decrease these numbers, then we’ll actually see a lot more families that will be happier,” Alicia says.

Growing up in women’s shelters gave McDonnel a front row seat to the struggles that disproportionately-impacted women had to deal with because of a lack of sex education and resources. When she got her first period, McDonnel had no idea what was happening to her. She was never taught by an adult or a class what a period was or how to handle having one.

From that moment, she, along with many other women in the women’s shelters, had to face period poverty because the access to period products was scarce. McDonnel has made it her mission to push for reproductive health care and education within shelters.

“Women need justice; I deserve better than this,” McDonnel says. “I want other women and girls and people with a uterus to have the information that I wasn’t given.”

Among many issues, McDonnel and MADVoters are fighting for abortion rights. As of Aug. 21, 2023, abortions are banned in Indiana with limited exceptions.

Illustration

According to the Center for Reproductive Rights, these exceptions include if the pregnancy is a result of rape or incest, to save the pregnant person’s life, to prevent serious risk to the pregnant person’s physical health, and if the fetus is not expected to survive.

Pregnant people who are getting an abortion because of any of the above exceptions also have to undergo an ultrasound, an 18-hour waiting period, and mandatory counseling before the procedure can be done.

Alicia says many pregnant students she knew didn’t want to have children but were forced to go through the process because of issues with abortion in the state.

McDonnel says many of the arguments against abortions that she hears are “flawed” and often religion-based. McDonnel highlights that Hoosiers are dealing with “the fallout of uneducated medical opinions” that are minimizing the resources for people who experience teen pregnancy.

McDonnel says she’s heard certain political candidates and representatives use the phrase “post-birth abortion” to spread misinformation.

“Killing a baby after it’s born, that’s murder,” McDonnel says. “That’s not something that’s happening, and they use these terms to freak out the people who support them.”

The importance

According to America’s Health Ranking, sex education in schools is proven to effectively increase the use of contraceptives while decreasing the prevalence of STIs and teen pregnancies.

To Swierc, there’s also an importance in sex education that lies in simply giving people a choice.

“Everybody is deserving of having proper information, so they can make those choices for themselves,” Swierc says. “Whatever direction they choose to go.”

Indiana has no current regulation regarding medically-accurate sex education instruction, according to the Sex Education Collaborative, but when it comes to safety, Swierc finds that one of the best ways to keep students safe is to teach them anatomically correct body part names.

“Penis and vagina are not curse words, and it’s okay for people to know that

that’s what the body parts are called,” Swierc says.

Much of the argument against sex education is by parents who fear their children will learn too much about sex too soon. However, McDonnel emphasizes that teaching children basic age-appropriate sex education, such as what their body parts are called, keeps them safer.

Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults occur to children ages 17 and under, according to the Life Crisis Center, and many young victims do not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.

McDonnel emphasizes that by teaching children and teenagers ageappropriate sex education that includes medically correct terminology, it will stop or prevent children and teenagers from being sexually assaulted and experiencing sexual violence.

“They want to be absolutely extreme and say that we want to teach second graders how to masturbate and what gay sex is, and that’s not true,” McDonnel says. “We want them to know the proper terms for their body parts. We want them to know that there are only so many adults who are allowed to even ask them about their body parts.”

This is a large part of why HPA is striving to diminish the lack of sex education and the lack of sexual-violence survivor support among Ball State students.

Students who have experienced gender-based sexual violence or have any sex education related questions can visit HPA on the second floor of the Amelia T. Wood Health Center or visit the HPA website for support.

Beyond Sex

By Grace Lichty

Students receiving sex education keep college campuses safe, but are all students included in these discussions? Former Ball State University assistant director of Health Promotion and Advocacy Destiny Cherry defines sex education as inclusive and accessible health care and education to help people make the best decisions for themselves, their partners, and their bodies.

According to the Health Resources and Services Administration, 94% of college students are having sex. The social norms of students’ health-risk behaviors are influenced by family, peers, and the school environment, according to a study from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health in the National Library of Medicine.

Cherry says that no sex is safe sex, but there are ways to have safer sex, including taking preventative measures against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Cherry also explains that there is pressure to be sexually active in college, and she thinks this pressure makes students feel like they need to do something earlier than they’re ready for.

College is a time for sexual exploration, but how much do students really know?

She says that the pressure to have sex can also impact friendships, depending on the additional pressure to fit in with those around you.

Hookups and dating apps

I think it is not as common for students to meet otherssignificant or sexual partners in class or at bars.”

- Destiny Cherry, Former Ball State University assistant director of Health Promotion and Advocacy

Hookup culture has become more prevalent on college campuses. How one would define a hookup is different based on the person, but Cherry encourages the importance of communication and consent in these relationships.

“I do think that hookup culture could potentially impact mental health if we’re not having appropriate conversations,” Cherry says. “If there isn’t proper communication. It can be really hard to ask for what you need or to clarify what your relationship looks like, and I think that can be really tough.”

According to Pew Research Center, 53% of people under the age of 30 have used a dating app. This research also showed that only 28% of straight people have tried online dating, whereas 51% of LGBTQ+ people have.

Cherry says dating apps have changed the way many college students are meeting and have potentially altered how many students view relationships.

A study from the University of South Carolina looked at the differences in motivation on dating apps between men and women. They had two different categories for subjects to fall into: looking for “casual sex,” defined by the study as “sex without the expectation of a relationship after,” or “not casual sex.” In this group, 55% of women listed casual sex as a motivation while 80% of men did.

Cherry says that dating apps have changed the way people communicate.

“I think it is not as common for students to meet significant others or sexual partners in class or at bars,” she says. “Most students at some point in time, it seems like, have been on a dating app, are on a dating app, or multiple apps. There’s a lot of emphasis placed on how quickly you’re responding to people, how quickly you want to get together, and how many people you’re talking to.”

Ball State assistant director of the Office of Inclusive Excellence Brandon Million says dating apps are a danger for students, especially those that are a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

“The apps are horrible, and they lead to all kinds of issues,” Million says. “They lead to dangerous encounters, they lead to people doing stupid things. Sometimes it’s like, ‘Oh, why did you do that?’ Because they had no other place to go, and sometimes that’s where they’re learning their sex education from too.”

LGBTQ+ advocacy

Sex education is underprepared for anyone who is not heterosexual and

Ball State student participating in tasting different types of flavored lubricants for an activity March 20, 2024 at Bingo After Dark at Park Hall in Muncie, Ind. Paola Fernández Jiménez, Ball Bearings

a bingo trivia event based around sex education questions. This event offers prizes surrounding sexual safety.

Ball Pride, Ball State’s LGBTQ+ affinity group, was founded by Million in 2019. This group is for Ball State faculty, staff, and graduate students.

Million says this group does not meet as much anymore, but they used to meet once a month.

In their meetings, they would discuss LGBTQ+ issues on campus. Million says they would strategize how they could make life better for the LGBTQ+ kids that came after them.

“We always tried to be something positive. That we talk about too, on top of the issues that we were facing at the time. It turned more into a place where we could come and feel like we could be ourselves,” Million says.

Titus says Ball State does not do enough to publicize its LGBTQ+ events and groups, and there should be more available.

“Things aren’t always the safest for people in the LGBTQ+ community,” Titus says. “Most people don’t want to go anywhere if they don’t feel safe. There’s not that guarantee of safety, like a safe space.”

Million says that shame is a common feeling for LGBTQ+ students after a sexual encounter. He says that now that stigma around the LGBTQ+ community has improved, it has helped ease fear of commitment among students.

“So many people get tangled up on titles,” he says. “It’s perfectly natural for people to go explore.”

Choosing abstinence

Abstinence is the choice to not participate in sex or any sexual activities. Abstinence is different from celibacy. Celibacy is a long-term choice to not have sex that is often due to religious promises. While celibacy can be a lifelong commitment to refrain from sexual activity, abstinence is often temporary.

Reasons

why

So many people get tangled up on titles, it’s naturalperfectly for people to go explore.”

- Titus Hood, Freshman art major

Abstinence may seem like an uncommon choice to the average college student, but it is normal to not be sexually active in college. According to a study done by the University of Georgia Health Center, 35% of undergraduate students reported having no sexual partners within the past year.

How sex education is taught differs drastically across institutions. According to research done by KFF, there are two main approaches toward sex education: abstinence-only and comprehensive sex education.

These categories are broad, but generally, abstinence-only programs teach that abstinence from sex is the only morally acceptable option for youth, as well as the only safe and effective way to prevent unintended pregnancy and STIs. They typically do not discuss contraceptive methods or condoms.

Comprehensive sex education generally includes medically accurate, evidence-based, and age-appropriate information about sexuality, sexual and reproductive health, consent, contraceptives, pregnancy, and STIs.

Abstinence-only education has remained a controversial topic, as it does not provide sexual and reproductive health information that is LGBTQ+ inclusive.

The Guttmacher Institute states that this information is necessary for adolescents, so they can make informed decisions about their sexual behavior, relationships, and reproductive choices.

someone may choose to remain abstinent

-Religion -Illness or infection

-Don’t want to use available birth control methods

-Pregnancy prevention

-STI prevention

-Waiting to find the right partner

-Not feeling ready for sex

Source: West Virginia University

30 | ballbearingsmag.com | Spring 2024

Cherry noted that abstinence is the only 100% way to prevent pregnancy and STIs. She says the pressure to have sex in college could potentially impact dating and relationships if a student chooses abstinence. However, she stresses that students need to make the best decision for themselves, their partners, and their bodies.

Safe Sex Resources provided at ball state

Understanding your own body

Understanding and appreciating yourself and your body are key factors to having healthy relationships, as well as a healthy sex life, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Some people experience negative feelings about their bodies and become self-conscious during sexual activity. This can lead to avoiding sexual activity, an impaired ability to experience arousal and achieve orgasm, and an unwillingness to advocate for yourself when sexual activity becomes painful or uncomfortable.

In order to feel more comfortable, Cherry recommends students explore their own bodies. She says students should practice asking for what they want and need, asking any questions they have, and looking up any desired information.

“One of the things that I recommend is doing a mirror exercise. Stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself, and see if you can spend however much time you can not picking apart things that you don’t like about yourself, but thinking about things that you do like and things that you appreciate about yourself,” she says.

Cherry says taking care of yourself is the most important aspect of a healthy sex life and stresses that students should do only whatever makes them feel comfortable.

Ball State University resources

Ball State works toward providing students with substantial access to safer sex resources and supplies.

“We are very lucky that we can provide free safer sex resources for students,” Cherry says. “Some institutions can’t, but we put an emphasis on providing that.”

-Internal, external, latex-free, and flavored condoms

-Lubricants

-Dental dams and latex-free dental dams

-Finger cots

Source: Destiny Cherry

in order to make the resources accessible in different spaces around campus.

Different items are available in the health center, Multicultural Center, and Counseling Center

around what’s considered normal, and I would say with sex and relationships that there really isn’t a normal. It’s what you feel like is best for you.” 

Condom prizes at Student Action Team’s Bingo After Dark event March 20, 2024 at Park Hall in Muncie, Ind. Paola Fernández Jiménez, Ball Bearings

Illustration by Jessica Bergfors

I am left to come to terms with the silence my mother left behind.

By Alexis Garcia

All my life, I have walked around telling everyone my favorite season is summer. It would not be a lie if I still did. When I close my eyes on a difficult day, I think about those afternoons I spend in the pool with my cousins. Those were the summers when my dad mowed the lawn and my mom cooked dinner.

High school began to get rough as the pressure of attending college loomed over me like a pestering cloud. I rarely saw my mother because, after her divorce from my father, she was busy working for a small pizza place in the heart of Gary, Indiana. When she could find time away from her private life, she came to see me two towns over at my dad’s place. Nothing could prepare me for the random Thursday evening my mom stopped by unannounced.

Gray clouds cover the sky and lightning brews in the distance when I hear a light knock at the door. I open it and see the small frame of my mother buried in an oversized, black sweater. Her hair is pulled into a tight bun, and both eyes dip into the dark circles surrounding them. It’s been weeks since I last saw her, and I swore it was a stranger standing on my porch.

“Can I come in?” She asks.

I almost scoff at the ridiculous question. How peculiar it feels for her to ask permission to enter what was once her home.

“Dad’s not home if that’s why you stopped by,” I say.

“I stopped by to see you,” she snaps. Her eyebrows then falter; her face drops into a sorrowful expression. “I actually have some really bad news.”

In my room, I lay my head on her bony lap while she uses her long nails to soothe me.

It becomes dead silent. I stiffen my body and hold my breath while I wait for her to say something, anything. She turns her head in one direction and looks vacantly at the teal wall. Her eyes glaze over, and she begins to take deep, careful breaths.

“I got some test results back from the doctor today,” she says faintly.

I sit up in my lumpy bed and put my hands on my mother’s. My eyebrows press together as I await the long-anticipated bad news.

“They found cancer,” she says flatly.

I stand to my feet with a swift motion and look at my mother in utter disbelief. I feel my toes tingle and the lights flicker.

The thunder booms in the distance, and I become increasingly aware of the concept of living nightmares. The rain starts to pour down on

the house, and the simple hymn of the dribbles numbs my mind. The hallways remain dimly lit and motionless. The vehicles outside remain in transit, and the numbers on the clock do not falter. I swallow the feelings, the crushing realization that the entirety of what was next to come would change me, undoubtedly.

My mom returns to her regular activities after that, as if she never disclosed dreadful news to me that harrowing night. I stop meeting my friends and stayed home instead. Summer no longer serves as the sun-filled getaway I always loved. It is suddenly sweaty thighs and quick swipes to a mosquito. It is the sweltering heat that pools in the back of your shirt, and it is the time of isolation. Without the distraction of school, summer is spent rotting away in the delicate crevices between my comforter and stuffed animals.

During the fall, I decide to move in with my mother. My mother is ecstatic considering she lives alone and would often express to me a deep-seated loneliness of some sort. Her illness slowly begins to consume her; she loses her ability to drive and always needs assistance bathing.

“When you’re not around, I just don’t feel like myself,” she says in between hiccups.

During this time, what distresses me tremendously was trying to live a normal life knowing my mother’s presence was dangling between the hands of a clock counting down. So, I live in denial, and I live joyfully.

I know happiness because I know ignorance.

I have and will always applaud my mother for being the strong person she is. She turns her nose up at cancer and never treats it as anything other than the wretched disease it is. For others in her life, like me, it is difficult not to perceive her cancer as an extension of her. Her cheeks hollow and her legs engorge with mysterious fluid. I notice every tendon and bone in her body slowly reveal themselves as the numbers on the scale drop. The treatment that was ordered to save her life merely causes her pain and suffering. It mercilessly strips her of her bouncy hair and the natural curvature of her body. I catch my mom gazing into the mirror at herself disgusted.

“That isn’t a woman,” she says as her voice shakes with despair.

Personal essay

Illustration by Jessica Bergfors

I lean on the bathroom wall, my tall frame towering over my frail mother. I stare into her dark, melancholic eyes in the mirror.

“Of course it is,” I say earnestly. I brush loose strands of her hair back to reveal the sunken cheeks that flush with frustration.

“You are my creator,” I say firmly. She merely stares at me through the mirror as her eyes gloss over like pools.

Her life always feels like a precious secret I am kept from, despite my protest. Where does she go all those days? What thoughts keep her up all night, and who does she long for? Who filled her heart up with love? And who had broken it? All these questions simmer in me, but I never allow them to pass my lips because I lack the courage. So, I do what I am best at. I keep quiet as I watch my mother wither before my eyes, when all I ever want to do is scream.

It is a Thursday morning when my mother wakes me. She hunches over the bed, holding her body as if her stomach were about to fall out.

“I need you to call the ambulance. Something’s wrong,” she choked

“What’s wrong? What hurts? Mom, speak to me,” I say.

Two paramedics march in and load my mom onto a small stretcher and into the ambulance truck. I grab my coat and run to join her, but I am stopped by one of the medics.

“I’m sorry, miss. You can’t ride in the van, COVID-19 standard precaution,” he says while standing between my mother and I.

I lean to the left and catch a peek at her. She lays on the stretcher, still clutching her abdomen while staring at me.

“Please visit me later,” she says quietly.

I could say something, anything even, but no, I give my mom a weak nod. The van sputters to a roar, and they drive off in the cold crisp air of that winter morning. I look around at all the quiet houses that remain still, as everyone lies asleep, cozy in their beds. The snow dazzles like diamonds as it cushions any sound that lurks around the dead street. My hand slips to my stomach as something stirs inside.

you learned in your four years at Merrillville High School that could really benefit you?

I purse my lips as I look at another deafening question when I get a call from an unsaved number.

A nurse from the hospital was calling me to inform me my mother’s heart was stopping throughout the night because her liver was failing. Her voice begins to become a muffled, high-pitched sound that no longer registers to me as my mind becomes mush. My heart quickens when she asks me about something I have never heard of before.

“Ma’am, what’s life support?” I say. She said I am the one that needs to make the jarring decision. Her words gut me inside out like a newly caught fish.

The ride to the hospital with my aunt feels unbelievably dull. Time is an artificial construct for me as I watch rundown buildings pass by on this dreary day. The snow has just melted, and the roads are covered in mud.

The following morning, I attended my online classes to the best of my ability. I look at the screen in a daze while I read the question:

Dear class of 2022, what have

The dead grass reveals itself as if it were stretching for the new day. Spring is nearing and everything is preparing to come alive again, but as I look around, all I can make out between the blurred objects passing by me are the remnants

of death. My lips and hands move as I talk to my aunt, everything responding the way it is meant to, but my mind is displaced. Blank space occupies everything inside me, and I feel I am dying too.

Once I arrive, my mother lays on the white hospital bed completely unresponsive. I hold her hand and kiss her fragile cheeks. I tell her I love her and that I would go to college and do all the things she wants me to, all the things she never got to do. I look to my mother who lays dormant with the obscure-looking oxygen mask suctioned to her face. Her hand shakes as it reaches for her mask. The nurse rushes to stop her at the same time I do. I shake my head at my mother to let her know she can’t take the mask off, and she continues to gesture for me to remove it. I lock eyes with the nurse who holds a concerning gaze.

“If she takes it off, she’s going to pass,” the nurse says to me in a low tone.

throughout the air. I sigh as I realize what I have to do.

All the memories I have with my mother — and the ones we’ll never create — surface inside of me, and I beat them down until I am left a shell of a person.

I hold onto my mother’s hand as I watch everything my mother ever wanted slip into the hospital’s frigid air along with her last breath.”

wanted slip into the hospital’s frigid air along with her last breath. I hold onto her body for so long in hopes that maybe I will rise up and go with her. I call out to her repeatedly, but she does not answer.

On my bad days, I try to not let the guilt and anger swallow me entirely. I run my hands along the white walls in my mind. I sense the warmth in every muscle, and I feel the love flow through my veins. In my heart is where I find my mother, in her chair waiting for me to come home. I tell her about the customers at work, and she tells me where she hurts that day while rubbing her side gently. I hear rain; I smell eucalyptus. When she eventually falls asleep, I slip into my dark room and pull out my flimsy laptop.

I look down at my mother who is now pleading with me to remove the mask. I peer out the window at the sun coming above the building to the far right. Its rays paint a beautiful golden yellow all over the room, and I feel the warmth radiate

I have to let my mother go.

“Take off the mask,” I say with the most energy I can gather.

I tell the class of 2022 all about the unique dissonance of the seasons. I tell them to not get lost in the summer’s tempting pleasantries and take notice of the stillness in wintertime. Winter can be the warmest season if you allow it to, and you can accept the change when spring finally comes 

I hold onto my mother’s hand as I watch everything my mother ever

Illustration by Jessica Bergfors

Natural disasters continue to cause damage in the U.S.

By Kaira Carter

Gas City’s turbulent twister

In March 2023, the Meteorology Club at Ball State University forecasted that a large-scale weather event was bound to cause devastation across the country later that month on March 31.

As a club consisting of several storm chasers, many celebrated the opportunity to chase powerful storms and tornadoes across Illinois and Indiana. Lance Huffman, a senior majoring in meteorology and the current president of the Meteorology Club, was one of these storm chasers.

Along with another friend from the club, Lance traveled to Illinois on that day and was able to witness a weak tornado and startling wind patterns.

“That day was very, very interesting because the storms were moving very fast,” Lance says. “They were moving almost as fast as 65 to 70 miles per hour.”

Tornado damage from an overnight EF-3 tornado April 3, 2023 that went through the northeast outskirts of Gas City, Ind.

Lance Huffman, Photo Provided Meghan Holt, Photo Illustration

Lance and his friend returned to Indiana without incident, but he was shocked to see that a tornado caused destruction in Gas City, Indiana, that same night. More shocking still, he recounted that March 31 ended up being the thirdlargest tornado outbreak in United States history, according to the National Weather Service. Wanting to assess the amount of destruction for himself, Lance traveled to Gas City the next day to see the aftermath.

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), a department in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), is an organization dedicated to protecting American workers, including during natural disasters. There are several types of disasters: hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, etc.

According to the NIOSH, natural disasters often have a high risk of impacting human health and safety. Because of this, these natural events require immediate attention and action. Natural disasters affect local infrastructure and impede progress on day-to-day activities for civilians and workers.

The storm’s aftermath

Leslie Montgomery, a disaster officer for the Indiana Red Cross, distinctly recalls the dozens of homes destroyed around southern Indianapolis by the same 2023 tornado outbreak that Lance witnessed. As a Red Cross representative, it was her job to assess the damage and needs of the civilians who were affected by the tornado.

“A whole area was just completely wiped out,” Montgomery says. “Going through that area and seeing the clients and talking to them about their experiences was very meaningful to me.”

collapsing structures, fire, explosions, and more. Montgomery states that Red Cross response teams, on top of assisting clients with their needs, must be wary of how they engage with these environmental hazards.

Lance witnessed environmental hazards and destruction firsthand when he visited Gas City. He observed a home that had been turned upside down.

“One of the homeowners got trapped, and they had to get help,” Lance says. “They were all okay. The nice thing about this event is that there were no fatalities with that specific tornado.”

She recounted how the Red Cross volunteer response teams all receive standardized training to handle disaster situations. In larger-scale natural events like storms and tornadoes, she emphasizes the importance of safety and following the rules at a disaster site. Just because people are in danger does not give a responder an excuse to put themselves in harm’s way. During tragic events, all lives and hazards need to be considered.

According to the NIOSH article, there are countless dangerous elements to be wary of in the direct aftermath of a natural disaster: debris, smoke, heat, anthrax,

There’s always an opportunity to get a new house or a new car, but we can’t rebuild you. We can’t rebuild a human.”

- Lance Huffman, President of the Ball State Meteorology Club

“It takes five to 10 years for things to essentially be rebuilt,” Call says. “I’ve taken students to New Orleans, and you can still see scars from Hurricane Katrina, and that was 18 years ago.”

The time it takes to rebuild can vary based on the severity of the incident, and the same goes for emotional damage.

Emotional impacts

Lance had mixed emotions when it came to storm chasing and witnessing destruction. He expressed that meteorologists love chasing storms and feel an adrenaline rush as they race toward what fascinates them most. However, as much as they enjoy experiencing powerful weather phenomena, no one enjoys seeing the damage to life and property afterward.

After the adrenaline rush is over, Lance often feels an eerie peace. The sun comes back out, the birds start singing, and raindrops glisten in the light, casting off rainbows. But in the middle of it all, he cannot ignore the destruction.

Montgomery says anxiety can occur both before, during, and after a disaster has happened. Several of her clients continue to have trauma in 2024 from the spring tornado outbreak the previous year.

“We’ve seen that with different tornadoes and different storms where they have that kind of long-term trauma but also the long-term recovery of rebuilding their lives,” Montgomery says.

Two of the services the Red Cross disaster management team frequently offers to communities are community counseling and preparedness training to help calm their nerves and come together to support each other through hard times.

There was still a considerable amount of property damage for locals to deal with. For instance, the home Lance witnessed was affected to the point it was rendered entirely unlivable.

David Call, a professor of geography and meteorology at Ball State, studies hazardous weather, such as blizzards, hurricanes, and tornadoes. As part of his studies, he takes his meteorology students on field trips to other states to witness the long-lasting effects of violent storms. One of the cities they often visit is New Orleans, which is along the Gulf of Mexico.

Preventative measures

Preparedness, Montgomery says, is one of the best ways to prevent disasters. Even if a natural event causes a lot of damage, with the proper amount of planning, it can go from being a devastating event to a manageable one.

According to NIOSH, comprehensive preventive plans help manage resources and protect responders.

Not only is it important to make a plan to manage disasters, but it is also important to identify which communities are most at risk.

According to Our World in Data, people who have low incomes are often

the most vulnerable to disastrous events. Deaths can be prevented by improving living standards, infrastructure, and response systems in these regions.

It is not realistic to expect everyone to invest their time and money into supporting infrastructure and response systems. There are other smaller ways communities can prepare themselves for when the weather inevitably turns.

“For storms, tornadoes, or hurricanes, store extra water,” Call says. “For all disasters, make sure your cell phone and other devices are all well charged because you may lose power for an extended period.”

He suggests investing in a power generator or making a hotel reservation in advance of a storm. To prepare for potentially getting trapped inside a vehicle, Call says to store a survival kit in the car and have a portable radio on hand for weather updates.

If posed with the possible threat of a storm, Lance recommends a simple solution for everyone to dedicate time to: establishing an escape route. He says it’s crucial to have a readily accessible east-west escape route and a north-south route without traffic.

“There’s always an opportunity to get a new house or a new car, but we can’t rebuild you. We can’t rebuild a human,” Lance says. 

Tornado damage from an overnight EF-3 tornado April 3, 2023 that went through the northeast outskirts of Gas City, Ind. Lance Huffman, Photo Provided

HAS APPEARED HAS APPEARED HAS APPEARED A NEW OPPONENT A NEW OPPONENT A NEW OPPONENT

Illustrations by Mikaela Morales

By Mack Reed

As time goes on, the next generation grows. With this new generation comes new students, new teachers, and a whole new set of challenges.

Teaching is known to be difficult, from dealing with rambunctious children on a daily basis to planning their curriculum. On top of that, each generation of students coming to middle school and high school have their own challenges that educators must overcome. For this generation, it is events and trends, like COVID-19 and the rise in children’s use of technology.

Dan Hawthorne, a history teacher at Rensselaer Central High School, says his experience with COVID-19 and teaching has not been entirely pleasant.

“No rational person would look at how school was taught during the lockdown and be like, ‘Yeah, that was fine,’” Dan says. “Teachers had no experience teaching in that sort of format … But some of the behavior – I have some students that still, as juniors, act like middle schoolers. I think there was a significant social setback.”

The COVID-19 pandemic impacted everyone in 2019, but it had an especially troubling effect on students.

According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress at the Nation’s Report Card, analyses of student test scores have shown declines in academic achievement. The average score decline for 13-year-olds between the 2019-20 school year and the 2022-23 school year was four points in reading and nine points in math.

“I wouldn’t say that COVID-19 morphed things,” Spanke says. “I think it just accelerated and exposed very different strands of trends that have been happening for the 20 years prior, and it took us about three years to kind of catch up to it.”

Teachers like Dan have also seen a rise in technology being used in the classroom setting.

“The daily struggle is ‘Alright, take your earbuds out’ because they firmly believe that my class isn’t important,” Spanke says. He says they can’t listen to both him and the music at the same time.

Spanke also has some disagreement with the use of technology in the classroom and its perceived benefits. He says he hasn’t seen any evidence that

She says being dependent on this technology can be worse for teachers, making it more difficult to learn if, for instance, the SMART Board goes out and lessons cannot be continued.

Dan thinks the new generation of teachers has an advantage because they’ve grown up with more technology than a lot of older teachers.

“I think older teachers pretty stereotypically struggle to keep up, or they want to still keep teaching the way they did 20 years ago,” he says.

In recent years, studies have shown that student literacy rates decreased. In addition to the growing difficulties, AI contributes to the fears a lot of teachers have toward modern technology use.

technology has enhanced learning, but he does believe it’s affected engagement and made the classroom more fun. He says technology has made accountability more difficult for him.

However, Nell Miske, a freshman studying secondary education at Ball State, says she thinks technology can be a good thing if used correctly.

According to Education Next, students may use AI to solve homework problems or take quizzes. AI-generated essays can undermine learning and the college entrance process. Aside from ethical issues from cheating, students who use AI to do work may not learn the content and skills they need.

A problem for teachers is to figure out how to make sure their students do not cheat or plagiarize using AI technology and other technological sources.

Dan says challenges are constant for teenagers. Along with being chronically online having an impact on their mental health, Dan doesn’t think they get enough sleep.

Jeff Spanke, associate professor of English and director of English education at Ball State, disagrees that COVID-19 has set students back. He believes the use of technology has delayed reading skills.

“Too much technology is definitely a detriment to development and creativity and attention spans,” Nell says. “[The next generation is] gonna know how to use technology even better than our generation because they’ve grown up with it.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 42% of high school students in 2021 reported feeling sad or hopeless for two consecutive weeks, which is 26% up from what it was in 2009. Nell is worried about challenges for students with mental health, including depression and anxiety, once she starts teaching. From the rise in technology to COVID-19, teaching continues to evolve. It’s not the same as it was 20 years ago, and it is continuing to go in a new direction. 

Illustrations by Mikaela Morales

‘Just

Illustrations by Meghan Holt, Olivia Ground

Diving into the unknown of study abroad can transform your worldview.

Dillon Rosenlieb

People experience culture every day — at home, at work, and at school. There are differences in all these places, and they influence how people perceive each other.

Study abroad programs can help students not only grow their global perspective but explore their identities among different cultures and traditions around the world.

It can be quite difficult to transition into a new cultural space and become acclimated to new cultures.

Culture shock, according to the Council of International Educational Exchange, is a sense of confusion and uncertainty from someone subjected to an unfamiliar way of life, culture, or set of attitudes.

comfort zone, like when they travel to new places or different countries.

It can be hard to conform to traditions and cultural customs that you don’t understand. Barriers in language, transportation, currency, as well as food can be stressors for culture shock while trying to fit into a culture they have never been in before.

“It’s not unusual for people describing frustration. They often talk about being exhausted, and one of the reasons why they feel exhausted is because things that used to be just taken for granted, you wouldn’t even think about it, you have to think about it,” Messineo says. “You thought you knew how to greet people, you thought you knew how to order food.”

She says study abroad experiences can help you shape your own global view of culture.

You know how they say, ‘You are what you eat?’ Well, in sociology, we say, ‘You are who you meet.’”

Melinda Messineo, a sociology professor at Ball State University, has organized and led multiple study abroad experiences in Costa Rica, China, and India.

“You know how they say, ‘You are what you eat?’ Well, in sociology, we say, ‘You are who you meet,’” Messineo says.

- Melinda Messineo, Sociology professor

organized and led multiple study China, and India.

Messineo says culture shock tends to happen when people are out of their

Messineo says culture shock tends to

When adapting and transitioning into a new cultural environment, people who are traveling abroad should be aware of microaggressions.

Ball State University graduate assistant Rachelle Spencer poses for a photo in 2015 in Kyoto, Japan. Rachelle Spencer, Photo Provided

A microaggression, according to the Cleveland Clinic, is a subtle verbal or nonverbal insult that impacts an individual who might be from a marginalized community. They can come in the form of organizational processes designed to keep specific groups from advancing.

It can be either intentional or unintentional, Messineo pointed out. She added that this happens a lot, and many people don’t realize it because they often make assumptions about how situations are supposed to unfold.

Understanding how to avoid these negative biases helps students understand the little nuances that are embedded in cultures all around

When you study abroad, if you want to live with a host family, they’ll match you with someone, and that is where you sleep. They make meals for you; it’s basically

Culture shock snuck up on Rachelle while she was studying in Nagasaki, Japan, from September to December 2015.

“I had heard about it in my predeparture meetings, but there just came a moment where I was very frustrated,” Rachelle says. “It was a great immersive experience, but my host mother didn’t speak any English, and everything on the radio was in Japanese. It was just like it hit a point where it was overwhelming.”

An integral component of the study abroad experience is the host family. This is typically a family deeply rooted in the country’s culture and traditions, offering students not just a secure place to reside during their travels but also aiming to smoothen the transition into a

A photo of the Nagasaki Peace Statue, which represents world peace, in 2015 at the Nagasaki Peace Park in Japan. Rachelle Spencer, Photo Provided 46 | ballbearingsmag.com | Spring 2024

giving her occasional interactions with her host’s children and grandchildren. She says her experience with her host mother was a “10 out of 10.”

Rachelle’s fascination with Japanese culture began when she was a junior in high school. She took Japanese classes in college and wanted to study abroad, but she was unsure if it was doable.

A visit with the study abroad office was a turning point for Rachelle as she met with a study abroad adviser who helped her realize her dream of studying in Japan was within reach. The adviser told her about financial aid and scholarships that could help her.

“I’m very thankful that I went to the study abroad office and had that ‘why not’ mentality, and I was able to talk through my concerns with an adviser and really find my path forward,” Rachelle says.

On her trip, she traveled for the first time to another country. It was empowering for her to do so in a place where she didn’t speak the language, and it prompted her to reflect on her identity as an American.

Some students have to cope with culture shock when they return home from studying abroad and reacclimate to their daily lives after immersing themselves in different customs and traditions. This reverse culture shock can be just as jarring.

That was the case for Zoe Pointer, a junior majoring in interpersonal communication studies and a study

abroad peer ambassador at the Rinker Center for Global Affairs. Her journey illustrates the profound and multifaceted nature of cultural immersion and the return to one’s roots.

After she returned home from a fiveweek study abroad program exploring Ecuador’s culture, she found herself overstimulated at the airport. The contrast between her experiences abroad and the familiar yet now strangely alien environment of home underscores the transformative power of cultural exchange.

Zoe was so used to Ecuadorian culture and the language that when she went to pick up her luggage from baggage claim, it took her a second to navigate her way because she wasn’t accustomed to being surrounded by the English language.

In addition to the cultural experiences and getting to interact with Ecuador’s culture and people every day, one of her most memorable moments in Ecuador was of a protest going on at the time.

According to Reuters, in June 2022, there were a series of protests against the economic policies of former President Guillermo Lasso by Indigenous protesters.

There was a cultural movement occurring before her eyes.

These experiences enriched her understanding of global social dynamics, offering insights into the complexities of cultural identity and activism.

“It sucks that the protests had to happen, but being there and

experiencing the culture in that way was very interesting,” Zoe says.

According to the University of Southern California, the way to mitigate culture shock is to spend time before the trip researching the host culture in order to prevent any misunderstandings and to create a better assimilation and cultural immersion.

“I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that wherever you are, no matter what program you are in, everybody believes what they believe and act how they act for a reason,” Zoe says.

One of the vast cultural differences that Zoe pulled away from her time in Ecuador compared to the United States is the sense of comfort and peace. She felt safe enough to walk the streets at night. She did not feel safe doing that when she was growing up in Indianapolis.

One of the challenges study abroad peer ambassadors and the Office of Global Affairs face when planning study abroad experiences is making it affordable and obtainable for students. Zoe says she does everything in her power to help find affordable programs for students.

Whether a student wants to travel the world, experience other cultures, or get a new change of scenery, studying abroad can profoundly change their world perspectives.

“One of my favorite quotes I heard was from one of my friends who went bungee jumping. Her tour guide said, ‘Don’t think. Just jump,’” Zoe says. 

Misconceptions Toxic

Researching the different causes of toxic shock syndrome can help save lives.

Mya Cataline, Ball Bearings

Photo Illustration by Brenden Rowan

By Maya Kim

“TAMPONS ARE ASSOCIATED WITH TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME (TSS). TSS IS A RARE BUT SERIOUS DISEASE THAT MAY CAUSE DEATH.”

This is the warning on the back of a Tampax tampon boxes.

According to Barbara Phelps, Ball State assistant clinical lecturer of nursing, TSS is caused by a buildup in bacteria that can produce dangerous toxins. The toxins find their way in through a cut on the skin, which allows them into deeper tissue where they can enter the bloodstream and affect other organs. While the cotton with string is most commonly associated with TSS, Phelps said the disease can also invade the bloodstreams of people who don’t get their period, postmenopausal people, and children.

John McKillip, Ball State professor of biology, says TSS is caused by staphylococcus aureus (staph infection). These kinds of bacteria are commonly found on our skin, and they only cause real harm if they get deep into skin through cuts.

Some of the beginning signs of TSS are high blood pressure, a fever, and rashes on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet.

When it comes to tampon usage, Phelps says there are a number of reasons why TSS might occur.

According to student-researcher Olivia Coltharp, Ball State second-year medical technology major, there are many different types of staph bacteria. These bacterias can create all kinds of infections.

“It can cause TSS, it can cause UTIs (urinary tract infections),” Olivia says. “UTIs can be caused by staph, but there are a ton of different [bacterias] that can cause it.”

UTIs, according to the Mayo Clinic, are infections in any part of the urinary system. Most infections involve the bladder and the urethra.

McKillip, along with a group of biomedical students, are currently researching new antibiotics to treat things like staph infections. One of his students is trying to grow anaerobic bacteria, which can produce antibiotics. They are using dairy farms to find these potential antibiotics.

“We look at dairy farms because that’s an unexplored area for finding antibioticproducing bacteria,” McKillip says. “I thought it’s perfect to farm the dairy farm and try to see … species of bacteria that have antibiotic-producing potential because they’re all around us.”

“The main thing people can do is just be as educated as possible.”

-

Barbara Phelps, Ball State assistant clinical lecturer of nursing

Aside from finding more effective antibiotics to treat TSS, staph infections may become worse due to antimicrobial resistance of the disease-causing bacteria. According to a study from the British Journal of Biomedical Science in the National Library of Medicine, antimicrobial resistance could be a primary cause of death as near as 2050.

According to Phelps, the reason most people associate TSS with tampon usage is because of an outbreak of the illness caused by tampons in the ’70s where 73 women died.

She says it is important that people receive accurate education on TSS, so they know who it can happen to and take the right steps to prevent it.

it’s removed, little tiny microscopic tears can occur in the tissue, but that allows that

That can also happen if we’ve had a

“Some of that bacteria is normal in the vagina … The use of tampons can increase the growth of that bacteria,” Phelps says. “If there’s a super-absorbent tampon, and it’s not fully saturated, and it’s removed, little tiny microscopic tears can occur in the tissue, but that allows that bacteria to then enter the bloodstream. That can also happen if we’ve had a surgery, so that bacteria may be present.”

Phelps says the cotton from a tampon can serve as a petri dish and can provide a breeding ground for the bacteria. This is why it is recommended to remove tampons after about eight hours to decrease the time for the bacteria to grow.

If someone got TSS from a tampon, Phelps says they should also avoid using tampons in the future because “the likelihood of reinfection is a little higher.”

McKillip emphasizes the importance of treating the infection early on due to the risk of vital organs being damaged. Patients with TSS are typically treated with an IV and some form of antibiotics.

“The main thing people can do is just be as educated as possible,” Phelps says. “Follow [tampon companies’] recommended practices as closely as possible. Then, have early detection and prompt treatment, if they do experience any of the signs and symptoms, and have those factors in place.”

Illustration by Brenden Rowan

Photo Illustrations by: Olivia Ground

By Maci Hoskins

DIVORCE RATES AMONG LONG-TERM MARRIAGES ARE INCREASING.

After 24 years of marriage, Stuart Hargis says divorce was the best thing to happen to him and his ex-wife.

Stuart married his ex-wife in 1978 after they met as coworkers, a marriage that would last until they filed for divorce in 2002. Stuart’s divorce falls under the gray divorce, a term coined by the American Bar Association defined as divorcing over the age of 50, typically from long-lasting marriages

This phenomenon is reality for many couples.

A study by the Department of Sociology at Bowling Green State University reports that 36% of United States adults getting divorced in 2019 are 50 or older. In 1990, only 8.7% of divorces in the U.S. occurred among adults aged 50 or older. Researchers theorize that this massive increase is due to changing views across generations, the financial stability of women, and incompatibility.

Life expectancy and societal view

Experts across the U.S. are searching for the reasons behind this significant increase in gray divorce. Many speculate that longer life expectancy may play a role.

According to the American Psychological Association, increased life expectancy may mean decades of good health with a spouse, something that many cannot picture.

Staying in an “empty shell” marriage, meaning poor quality or lacking in connection, means having added stress and conflict while aging. Additionally, a longer life expectancy means couples can divorce in their later years and still have the chance to live a healthy, fulfilling life.

Stuart says he and his ex-wife stayed together longer than they should have out of consideration for their son. Stuart couldn’t imagine living another 30 years with his spouse and knew their time had come and gone.

“I really did care for her, all but the last year and a half or two years,” he says.

There was just nothing there. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, I just didn’t want to be there anymore.”

-

Stuart Hargis, Divorcee

“There was just nothing there. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, I just didn’t want to be there anymore.”

Older generations see marriage as a pillar of society, whereas younger people are more likely to embrace cohabitation, being a single parent, or being divorced.

This may be due to the Baby Boomer generation, as they are the second largest generation and entering older age. Many Boomers are in their second or third marriage, which may contribute to the increasing gray divorce rate, as individuals who remarry after a divorce are more likely to divorce again, known as the “divorce echo effect.”

Ball State professor Scott Hall teaches and researches within the Department of Early Childhood, Youth, and Family Studies. Hall has published

multiple studies about marital beliefs and marriage adjustment.

“People have a lot of life left to live, so starting over or being single wouldn’t be as intimidating,” Hall says.

Hall believes younger people’s attitudes toward marriage may impact older people’s beliefs.

“There are changing social norms where older people are being influenced by younger people,” he says. “Our current age has a big focus on mental health; there’s a sense of ‘You have to take care of yourself.’ I think that filters up to the older generations.”

Women in the workforce and finances

Researchers also believe the increase in women in the workforce impacts gray divorce. This societal trend means women are more likely to be able to financially support themselves. Previously, men were the breadwinners of the household, thus women didn’t often consider a divorce because they feared a loss of income.

In modern times, women can now support themselves, enabling them to leave abusive or conflict-filled marriages.

We didn’t have the long talks that we used to. We really didn’t communicate much at all. The last four to five years, we didn’t even sleep in the same room. It was a very rough time.”

- Stuart Hargis, Divorcee

While the pay gap still exists, more women are making more money, per a 2022 Pew Research study that details the 22 major U.S. cities where young women are earning as much as their male counterparts.

Financial independence allowed Leah Howard to divorce her husband after 36 years of marriage.

Leah supported her husband throughout their marriage as she climbed the ladder working in management for a fast food chain. After years of working, Leah and her spouse bought a liquor store and operated it together for many years. She recalls working 70 or 80-hour work weeks, maintaining their income and achieving their goals of building their own home.

In 2020, when she filed for divorce, she was never worried about the money, but instead she was concerned about the workload of the liquor store.

“I mean the last 13 years were so hard, nothing but working that store,” she says. “Financially, I wasn’t afraid. I was scared about the workload.”

She held onto the store for two years following the divorce until she received an offer and decided to sell. Leah divorced her husband and maintains a comfortable life because of the money she had made earlier in life. She remained in their house and now works at a local sheriff’s office.

“My mom used to always say she couldn’t divorce, she hadn’t worked since getting married,” Leah says. “When I was young, a woman needed a man, but that’s not reality anymore.”

Additionally, those going through gray divorce have likely accrued much more than younger couples. Thus, splitting wealth, possessions, or other assets may prove difficult, particularly with retirement looming.

Lingering issues and communication

Some marriages find themselves slowly fizzling after long unresolved issues. After Stuart spent a short time in the hospital, his confidence couldn’t quite recover.

“A lot of the things that attracted her to me in the first place, my can-do attitude, … it would take years for me to get that back,” he says.

This unexpected life event slowly drove a wedge between the two of them and led to a lack of communication. When Stuart was recovering, his spouse had difficulty believing he was still capable.

“We didn’t have the long talks that we used to,” Stuart says. “We really didn’t communicate much at all. The last four to five years, we didn’t even sleep in the same room. It was a very rough time.”

After 10 years of marriage, Leah and her ex-husband took a four to five month break.

“I think he just didn’t feel happy anymore,” she says. “I was always a fixer, but you can’t always be a savior. Sometimes people have to struggle.”

Leah described this time in their relationship as a “really dark place.”

Empty nest and loneliness

The tension in Stuart’s marriage led to a breaking point in 2002 when their son started college.

As soon as Stuart and his spouse became “empty nesters,” or parents with children who have grown and moved away, his spouse filed for divorce. Stuart reported that the most challenging part of his divorce was the distance that grew between him and his son.

According to an article by the

National Center for Family and Marriage Research, parent-child disconnectedness adds another blow to parents healing from divorce. Gray divorce presents unique challenges regarding children, as they are usually older or even adults. Stuart feels his son should make more of an effort to reach out.

Stuart says he hears from his son maybe three to four times a year.

“There’s nothing he could ever do that is going to change the way I feel about him,” he says.

Stuart also notes that losing mutual friends and family following divorce was an unexpected challenge.

“A lot of what you consider your really closest best friends disappear,” he says. “All of the rest of the friends we had as a couple, I haven’t heard a word out of any of them.”

And yet it’s worth it

Following his divorce, Stuart consulted with some of his coworkers for advice. One of them told him to “just give it time. There’s life after divorce.”

“A lot of people think they’re losing ‘the one,’ and they go into a depression and are never the same,” Stuart says.

According to a study conducted by Jocelyn Crowley of Rutgers University, participants identified positive aspects of their lives postgray divorce, including higher levels of overall happiness, liberation from their ex-spouses, and enhanced independence and freedom.

Hall believes communication is the foundation to maintaining a connection because people change and grow throughout the marriage.

“Something I teach in my classes is that it’s like trying to walk up an escalator that’s going down,” he says. “As soon as you stop, you hit the ground. Regardless of how long someone has been together, effortful conversation is still needed.”

Leah credits much of her post-divorce happiness to counseling. After her split, she sought out a counselor to help her navigate the next stages of her life. Leah believes everyone should try counseling.

“I’m very thankful,” she says. “At first, I was afraid to be alone, but I finally have my own space and things.”

Hall advises those going through a gray divorce to be patient with themselves.

“Your identity has been weaving with someone else’s, so it may take a while,” he says. “That new identity formation will take some time, so find some positive contributions to wind your identity around to have purpose and meaning.”

In terms of navigating a split with children, Hall recommends an open channel of communication and possibly seeking counseling if necessary.

“A marriage ending is a death, but now I get to figure out new things I want,” Leah says. “You don’t know you’re not happy until you find something different.”

A gray divorce is divorcing over the age of 50, typically from long-lasting marriages.

of U.S. adults getting divorced in 2019 were 50 or older.

There are positive aspects of life post-gray divorce:

Source: American Bar Association, Bowling Green State University, and Jocelyn Crowley of Rutgers University

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by Brenden Rowan

GOOSE ATTACK!

Charlie Cardinal is getting chased by a goose. Fill in the blanks with the words of your choice to help him through this shocking experience!

By Lila Fierek and Mya Cataline

(name)

Charlie Cardinal is such a _____________. He was _______________ on campus today when he found a baby goose. Charlie said the goose was so ______________ that he just had to pick it up. He named it _____________. Suddenly, a flock of geese _________________ him, and he knew he messed up. Geese are one of Charlie Cardinal’s biggest ________________. Charlie ____________ the baby goose as he ran from the geese, but it was too late. He shouted, “_____________________________!” The geese flew from the buildings and _____________ at him. He stepped in a pile of ______________ and got __________ stuck all over his ___________. Someone saw Charlie by the ______________ and came to the rescue. Charlie and ______________________ battled the geese by ______________ them until they flew away. Charlie was so happy. He shouted “____________________________________________!” He’s not going to mess with the geese again.

(descriptive noun)

(verb ending in -ing)

(adjective)

(past-tense verb)

(plural noun) (past-tense verb)

(phrase)

(past-tense sound)

(noun) (noun) (item of clothing)

(Ball State staff member)

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(verb ending in -ing)

(phrase)

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