Engaged by Benjamin Sweet
Story by Benjamin Sweet & Joseph Zentil
email@example.com 508-221-8735 ÂŠCopyright Benjamin Sweet, 2009.
All rights reserved.
INT. MICHAEL & CATHY’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Michael shuts the front door behind him, trying to muster up all his courage. The living room is empty. Michael is about to call out, but before a sound can escape his mouth, he’s frozen stiff by a pistol pressed up against the back of his head. INTENSE VOICE Freeze motherfucker - don’t make a fucking sound. Michael nearly pisses himself. trembling.
His hands fly up,
INTENSE VOICE (CONT’D) I’m gonna blow your fucking face all over the wall. Please I--
Michael is interrupted by Cathy’s voice. Dad!
Cathy angrily exits the bathroom in a bathrobe with a towel on her head, making her way to the bedroom and shutting the door. Michael’s terror flips to complete annoyance as the pistol lowers from his head. He turns around to see Cathy’s father, MITCH (60), a massive U.S. Marshall, holstering his firearm. He’s got a big shit-eating grin across his face, sporting a pair of reflective aviators. MITCH I’m just kidding, you fucking idiot. Mitch gives Michael a heavy smack on the back. He removes his aviators and walks into the kitchen. Michael did not know about the surprise visit. mortified.
Then, a slurry, sensually-forced voice slips out from the guest room. (CONTINUED)
2. CONTINUED: Michael...
SUSAN (59), Cathy’s alcoholic-cougar mother, emerges into the living room wearing a skimpy leopard print dress. She makes a sloppy, flamboyant beeline for Michael. Susan...
Nervously, Michael slowly backs up against a chair as Susan eases in eerily close. She gives Michael a slow open mouth kiss on the cheek, and slinks her mouth up to his ear to whisper in a deep middle aged voice. SUSAN How are you, Michael? Oblivious to the situation, Mitch inhales a banana in the kitchen, chewing like a Neanderthal. MICHAEL Uh, I’m fine, Susan. And yourself? Drunk. I see.
A loud-mouthed voice fills the house. Yo, Ma! can?
TJ d’Fuck you pack the tan-
SUSAN (eyes still on Michael) I threw that garbage away, sweetie. TJ (30), Cathy’s brother, pops out of the guest room deadserious. He’s ripped, orange, and rocks a hairstyle borrowed from a Japanese cartoon. TJ Yo, you betta be fuckin’ lyin’, Ma. (CONTINUED)
3. CONTINUED: (2) SUSAN It’s in your shoe bag, grapefruit. TJ disappears back into the room. back out.
A second later he pops
TJ Yo, sup Michael. Hi, TJ.
TJ Yo, you still bangin’ my sista’? Uh.
TJ (just dropped a diss)
TJ returns into the room. MICHAEL So what’s going on guys? surprise visit?
MITCH It’s a fucking surprise. I see... minute?
MICHAEL Will you excuse me a CUT TO:
INT. MICHAEL & CATHY’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Michael shuts the door trying to contain himself. whisper-yells at Cathy.
MICHAEL What the fuck is going on! What?
MICHAEL How could you not tell me your family was going to be here! I need weeks to prepare for this shit! (CONTINUED)
4. CONTINUED: CATHY Calm down. I told you I had a surprise for you today. MICHAEL Um, surprise usually means something cool, or enjoyable, or exciting? Not your family hunkerfucking around my living room! CATHY Our living room. Stop yelling at me. MICHAEL I’m sorry. Can you please just tell me what’s going on? They’re interrupted by a heavy pounding on the door. MITCH We leave in 45 seconds. CATHY Ok, just a sec. Michael looks confused.
He becomes even more nervous.
MICHAEL What is he talking about? Cathy’s too excited, she can’t keep it a secret any longer. CATHY They’re taking us on a surprise cruise for an early wedding present! Michael’s face goes flush as the information processes. Not the reaction Cathy was looking for. ...What?
CATHY Five days in the Caribbean! (Michael’s not happy) What’s the matter? Uh.
5. CONTINUED: (2) CATHY What do you mean nothing? face is weird.
MICHAEL No. I mean. This is just, uh. Out of nowhere. CATHY It’s a surprise, Michael. That’s where surprises come from. MICHAEL Yes I understand the concept of surprises - look, Cathy, I just don’t know if I can go... I’ve got work and-CATHY We already have Mikey covering your shifts. ...What?
CATHY He’s known about this for weeks. Everything is taken care of. MICHAEL Mikey has known about this for weeks? Mhm.
MICHAEL I don’t have anything packed-CATHY Your bags are already packed and in the car. Michael doesn’t know what to do. Cathy is growing more and more upset. CATHY (CONT’D) Should I unpack them? Suddenly, Mitch blasts the door open. Dad!
6. CONTINUED: (3) Cathy scrambles to get a grip on her towel. MITCH It’s been 90 seconds. problem here?
Is there a
CATHY Michael doesn’t know if he can come. MITCH What do you mean, Michael doesn’t know if he can come? Well--
MITCH We paid over a thousand dollars for Michael’s non-refundable ticket, why would he not be able to come? MICHAEL It’s not that it’s-MITCH We already packed Michael’s bags and put them into my truck. His drug addicted friend is covering his job for him. Why would he not be able to come? MICHAEL (suck up smile) No. Nothing. We’re fine. I’m fine. Uh, I’ll meet you in the car. Good.
MICHAEL (trying to be playful) Only if I get shotgun, though. MITCH (walking away) Go fuck yourself.
Comedy. Cruise Ship.