Parent University | Confronting Cyberbullying and Unwise Social Media Use in Tech-Savvy Kids

Confronting Cyberbullying and Careless, Unwise Social Media Use in Tech-Savvy Kids Sameer Hinduja, Ph.D. Co-Director, Cyberbullying Research Center Brookwood School District 167 Tuesday, November 14th, 2023 @hinduja

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14.2% were victims of offline dating violence 11.1% were victims of online dating violence

81.1% of victims online were also victims offline 62.9% of victims offline were also victims online

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Sexting by the numbers

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23.2% received a naked or semi-naked image of someone from school

14.3% sent a naked or semi-naked image of themselves to others

23.8% have been asked to send a naked or semi-naked image of themselves

11.3% asked someone else for a naked or semi-naked image of themselves

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Communication is Key With both their offline and online activities Go online with your kids • • • •

See where they are going They can teach you!

Enter their world The earlier the better

Watch your own words

Watch your own words • • • •

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Don’t say mean things Be careful when you are cranky Call it out when others are mean Remind them of family standards

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• What web sites do you usually go onto?

• What sites are your friends into these days?

• What is your favorite site? What do you do on it?

• Do you ever go online at your friend’s house?

• Have you ever been contacted by someone online that you didn’t know? What did they want? What did you do? How did you respond?

• Have you ever received a text from someone that made you upset? How did you respond?

• How do you keep yourself safe online? @hinduja

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(Reivich & Shatte, 2002) @hinduja

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Students with low empathy were 1.8 times as likely to bully someone at school in the last 30 days and 2.3 times as likely to cyberbully someone in the last 30 days.

Students with high empathy were 2.3 times less likely to bully someone and 2.7 times less likely to cyberbully someone. @hinduja

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Tech Use Regulation Setting the Standards For Your Kids Household Rules: Grades ↓, tech use ↓ Diligence in chores ↓, tech use ↓ Keep devices in designated location at night Require financial responsibility @hinduja

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Is my child physically healthy and sleeping enough?

Is my child connecting socially with family and friends (in any form)?

Is my child engaged with and achieving in school?

Is my child pursuing interests and hobbies (in any form)?

Is my child having fun and learning in their use of digital media?

(Livingstone & Blum-Ross, 2016) @hinduja

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Casey loves playing games on his Xbox console, especially since it allows him to link up to and compete with other players across the world on Xbox Live. He recently met one teenager in Russia named Boris while playing Overwatch, and they became fast friends because both enjoyed and excelled at it. Together, they became almost unbeatable whenever they competed as a team against other teams online. At some point, though, Casey told Boris he had found a better gaming partner and didn’t want to play with Boris anymore. Boris was outraged that he was being “dumped” as a gaming partner for someone else, and he began to tell other people on the gaming network that Casey “sucked” at gaming and no one should ever be his partner unless they wanted to lose really badly. Soon after these statements started circulating, Casey’s new gaming partner dumped him, and everyone else on the network started to reject him (which was particularly crushing because online gaming was a safe haven in his difficult life). When coupled with recollections of other instances of rejection in his life, this experience began to make Casey feel completely hopeless. He then started to express suicidal intentions to his sister. @hinduja

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Can this really be characterized as cyberbullying?

How would you handle this as a school administrator?

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How would you handle this as a parent?

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What should his sister do and how can schools equip her to respond effectively to Casey’s problems?

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Who could Casey reach out to help him deal with how he is feeling?

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Does Boris deserve any punitive actions taken against him?

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Have you experienced anything similar while gaming?

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What did you do? hinduja.org cyberbullying.org

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Warning Signs: Victimization - Frequently feeling sick or faking illness - Changes in eating habits, like skipping meals or binging - Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares - Declining grades and/or loss of interest in school - Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations - Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem - Self-destructive behaviors - Extreme changes in device usage - Becomes unusually secretive - Unexplainable injuries - Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry

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Warning Signs: Offending • • • • • • • • • • •

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- Overly concerned with popularity or status - Demonstrates greater callousness toward others - Is increasingly aggressive or violent - Has unexplained extra money or new stuff - Externalizes blame - Quickly switches out of apps/games or hides screen - Uses their device(s) at all hours of the night - Gets very upset if they cannot use their device(s) - Avoids discussions about their online activities - Seems to be using multiple online accounts - Stops caring about their relationship with you

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When Your Child Is The Target…

- Take a deep breath - Make sure your child is safe - Collect evidence - Contact the school - Support the PTA (or equivalent) - Avoid venting on social media - Contact the offender’s parents - Contact the Service Provider - Contact the police @hinduja

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When Your Child Bullies Others…

- Talk about the possible effects - Closely monitor tech usage - Consider tracking software - Apply reasonable consequences - Set firm limits and stick to them - Convey firmer consequences if the behavior continues

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