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Thursday, 17th June 2010 May Week

Image: ClĂŠmentine Beauvais


News in Brief

Trinity Street Post Office closes The Trinity Street Post Office will close next Wednesday. A new Post Office will open on King Street at 8.30am on Saturday 26 June. In between these two dates, customers can use the post office in St Andrew’s Street or the one in Napier Street. Chinese Boat Race The annual boat race between Peking University and Tsinghua University, China’s two best universities, which is modelled on the OxfordCambridge boat race, has been cancelled indefinitely. The ten-year-old event was cancelled in 2008 because, following the race, the judges found several professional rowers in the Tsinghua team. Last year, the event was cancelled for the same reason but with regard to Peking University. Both universities have confirmed that the event will not be held this year. When asked, both universities gave the reason as that Beijing has no suitable rivers and that the event’s cost was becoming unaffordable. Valuing Cambridge skyline Some works of art are priceless, but this week a definitive value was placed on the historic Cambridge skyline. According to property website, Cambridge estate agents value King’s College Chapel at £100 million while for those of a more modest budget Great St Mary’s is thought to be worth a mere £15 million. The estate agents were impressed by King’s “generous lawn” but did express concerns over possible difficulties with planning permission. Spotify returns to Oxford Oxford University Computing Services reversed its ban on Spotify last week. The Cambridge Student reported last term that the site had been banned because filesharing software used up an excessive amount of bandwidth, which, when multiplied by thousands of users, could pose problems to network provision.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Band booted off stage at Trinity Jen Mills Deputy News Editor A performance by German band the Dancing Pigeons was cut short after three songs at Trinity May Ball on Monday, and one band member was removed from the ball by security. Committee members stated that the band breached their contract in several areas, claiming that they were “inebriated before and during their performance”, that they smoked within the college, and that they were threatening and intimidating to personnel.

Ball committee: Band were “inebriated before and during their performance” Although the band were asked to limit their sound to 75 decibels, in accordance with the guidelines set out by the City Council, an independent sound monitor for the ball logged noise levels of over 90 decibels.When the band failed to limit their noise levels and attempted to continue playing, security came on stage prepared to forcibly stop them. Ben Sehovic, Technical and Security Officer for the ball, said that he was contacted by radio as a matter of urgency to attend to the main stage due to sound levels. As this was happening, he received notification from the Duty City Council Officer that residents had complained. When he arrived at the stage, the Stage Manager informed him that he “suspected the band were intoxicated”. Sehovic told The Cambridge Student (TCS): “I climbed onto the stage and spoke to the drummer ask-

Survivors’ photo at the end of Trinity May Ball. ing him if he could play quieter. He told me to speak to the sound desk and I informed him that we had already tried every avenue possible. He insisted he would not play quieter, at which point I told him the act would have to be stopped. He at that point laughed, and after a short conversation in which I tried to ask him to take me seriously he refused”. The band did not stop playing. Sehovic continued that there was “a lengthy discussion on the stage before security arrived, as I was trying to reach a compromise. Only after threatening and abusive behaviour

Photo: Tal Nahir

towards me did I have to call for security.” Some audience members were disappointed that the performance was cut short, with listeners in the crowd chanting: “Let them play!” Two audience members offered the band some of their champagne. The band had arrived early in Cambridge to perform a sound check at 5.30pm on Monday, but this was unable to take place as sound checks for other bands were behind schedule. Korlin Bruhn, who was with the band, felt that this contributed to the problems when the performance be-

gan at 3.10am. She asserts that the band’s sound technician, who was originally approached, was the least fluent in English of the band, and felt that ball staff were not sympathetic to the band members having to debate the issue in a second language. Bruhn was also dissatisfied with the treatment of the band while they were at the ball, claiming that “the hours until 3.10am were spent in the room assigned to the band. Just waiting, waiting for many hours.” The band were supplied with the food and drink specified in their contract, however Bruhn felt that “it still seems a bit out of balance that Trinity May Ball is stacked up to the spires in decadence and more food than all the ball-goers together could eat and yet the band wasn’t offered a hot meal.” She felt that the reaction of the ball committee was “extreme” and said: “I am deeply ashamed for the impression the Dancing Pigeons must have of Cambridge now and I am truly sorry I suggested to them to play at Trinity.” Derek Chan, President of the Trinity May Ball, stated: “Both my Co-President Jon and my Entertainments Officer Alex would like to express their upset over the band’s behaviour. They were fully catered for in accordance with the riders we agreed months ago. They demanded far more alcohol when they arrived.” The band were paid the full amount stipulated in their contract. Chan felt the rapid reaction to the incident to be “positive and justified” considering the problems with noise complaints at Jesus Ball last year, when events were shut down an hour early and a scheduled ceilidh could not take place.

Women take command at Union Andrew Georgiou News Editor Lauren Davidson has been elected Cambridge Union President for Lent term 2011. Four out of the five of those elected to senior positions are women. She told The Cambridge Student (TCS): “I’m massively excited to be elected – I really wanted the position and had to fight a long and hard campaign to get it. I’ve already got plans and ideas for my term so watch this space!” She said that she is working “to change the perception of the Union – it’s a strong and successful society, but it sometimes gives off the wrong image”. She added: “The election of four women out of five committee members shows that the Union is making progress in the right direction and sets us in good stead for a more equally representative termcard of speakers.”

Lauren said that she was “up against some tough competition”. Juan Zober de Francisco and Andy Li both ran against her. Out of 407 first preference votes cast, Lauren received 202 whilst Juan received 174. Andy Li was a distant third with only 20 first preference votes.

“The Union is making progress in the right direction.” Juan told TCS: “I know Lauren will make a fantastic President and I’m very happy for her. It’s a positive sign for both us and the Union that this was one of the cleanest elections in recent history. I wish her the best of luck.” Calum MacDonald, who was elected unopposed to the position of Executive Officer, told TCS: “I’m delighted personally to have been elected (and relieved to not have been beaten by RON!).

“I’ll be trying to fulfil my manifesto promises of making the Union bar the leading student bar in Cambridge and introducing a new, more convenient, way of distributing tickets for events. “I’ll be working with the PresidentElect and the other officers to try and make sure that next year’s speakers are more diverse and exciting than ever and keeping up this term’s incredibly successful Ents programme.” Calum added: “The number of women elected is obviously a great thing not least because it means that talented candidates haven’t been put off by recent issues. “It’s also great because I think it shows the Union isn’t the sexist or politically-biased institution it’s often branded as – candidates with experience from JCRs, ball committees, university radio and more stood and won – not because of gender or what political society they were a member of.”

Anna Harper, who was successfully elected as Treasurer, commented: “I’m very happy to have been elected – there was stiff competition!” Anna ran against Alexander Küng and Dayo Adeyemi. She added: “I’m also very happy to be able to put my ideas in place, from a new hardship fund to alumni relations.” Rebecca Bailey was elected Speakers Officer, defeating Melissa Dring. Alexandra Treacy was elected Social Events Officer, running unopposed. There some problems on polling day with members experiencing delays receiving emails with voting links but Returning Officer Rahul Mansigani told TCS that the issue was resolved “by providing paper balloting, and extending online voting hours.” Rahul added: “We are reviewing the way in which Union elections are conducted in order to make improvements next time.”


Thursday, June 17, 2010



EDL clash with anti-war protesters at Viking march Naomi O’Leary News Reporter

Photo: Naomi O’Leary

There was a tense stand-off between the Cambridge Division of the farright leaning English Defence League (EDL) and anti-war protesters following the homecoming parade of the Royal Anglian Regiment in Cambridge on Monday. Crowds had gathered to greet the return of the ‘Vikings’ following their six-month tour of duty in Afghanistan. After the march had passed from Kings Parade to Market Square, EDL supporters and anti-war campaigners, protesting outside King’s College, turned their attention towards each other. The anti-war protesters, holding up placards reading “End the war; Bring them home” and distributing leaflets, were approached by a group of EDL supporters encouraged by a

woman who shouted for the EDL to “tell them they’re revolting”. The two groups were separated by metal barriers as EDL supporters broke into football chants, waved a St George’s flag and jeered “Is your grandad proud of you?” One EDL activist struck a protester, knocking the Union Jack flag he was holding to the ground. The confrontation was calmed by the arrival of the police. Clashes between the EDL and other protesters have led to violent confrontations and arrests in the past, although the EDL describes itself as a peaceful group. The EDL, a street protest group, was formed in 2009 to oppose what it sees as the spread of Islamic extremism. According to a Guardian investigation, the group plans to hold demonstrations in high-profile Muslim communities this summer.

Candidates condemn electoral mix-up

‘Hitler look-alike’ in OUCA scandal

Saranyah Sukumaran News Reporter

Becky Sage News Reporter

Labour candidates in Cambridge have claimed that they lost out in local elections due to missing logos on ballot papers. At the last minute, the Electoral Commission announced that any candidate standing for two parties could not use a logo on the ballot paper. This meant that all Labour and Co-operative Party candidates could not use the Labour logo. There were a number of Labour candidates in Cambridge affected by this. George Owers, a student at Jesus was a Labour and Co-operative Party candidate for Abbey ward.

“This cost us many votes, and possibly a couple of seats.” He told The Cambridge Student (TCS): “It was clear on polling day that some voters were confused by this and assumed that because these Labour candidates did not have the logo, they were not ‘proper’ Labour candidates.Several voters said to me that they were not sure who the Labour candidate was.” Candidates were alerted “minutes before handing in their nominations”

about the logo issue. Owers said, “We were told very late, too late to change our candidacy so that we could have the logo. This cost us many votes, and possibly a couple of seats.

“I think the logo issue lost me at least 150 votes, if not more. We are very angry at the Electoral Commission, who made this decision too late, with no consultation, so that we could not adapt to it.” The rules changed in 2007 and it had not been a problem in subsequent elections. Only this year the Electoral Commission decided to implement the legislation, leaving candidates no time to sort out the problem. The Electoral Commission told TCS: “On the 16th April the Commission identified an issue with the legislation that applies to the UK Parliamentary general election and English local elections, which meant

that candidates standing with a joint description from more than one registered party are not able to include an emblem on the ballot paper. “We immediately contacted parties affected to let them know and issued guidance to returning officers.” The exit polls showed Labour and Lib Dem neck-and-neck. However, Kevin Blencowe, a sitting councillor, lost badly despite many years service; whilst in the same ward, his fellow Labour candidate, with a logo by her name, won. Blencowe told TCS: “It cost a reasonable number of votes and caused confusion in my ward. There were eight candidates in total and two from the Labour party: me alongside Gail Marchant-Daisley. “It was evident from the ballot papers that some people left a blank, as it seemed like she was the only Labour candidate. “I have stood for election in previous years, this time being my fourth and I have never had this problem. “This has not just affected Cambridge but is a national issue too.” Indeed, similar problems were reported elsewhere too. The Co-operative Party has a historical link to Labour and is a sister party focusing more on social enterprise.

Sexist remarks made at an Oxford University Conservative Association (OUCA) event at the Oxford Union on Sunday have provoked criticism. A student from King’s College London allegedly shouted sexist comments at Isabella Burton, who was speaking at the society’s Port and Policy event. Vitus van Rij allegedly shouted “kitchen, kitchen, shush up woman, go back to the kitchen” at the speaker, as well as telling her to stick to “pans and brooms” rather than politics.

89% had not hired a graduate in the last twelve months Oxford Union President Laura Winwood subsequently stated that “misogyny is not tolerated” at the Union. In addition, OUCA member Jocky McLean demanded an apology from van Rij, who was subsequently escorted from the room by the President of the UCL Conservative Association, Will Hall. David Thomas, an OUCA member, told The Oxford Student that van

Rij’s groomed moustache and slicked back hair meant that “it looked as though he was deliberately trying to imitate Hitler with his appearance”. OUCA President Natalie Shina said that van Rij was not invited to the event by the Oxford society; the UCL Conservative Association President also denied inviting van Rij. “Every group has at least one or two abhorrent individuals, and in the future we need to find a better way to identify ours and ban them from attending events,” Hall said. The incident occurred less than a week after OUCA re-affiliated with Oxford University; disaffiliation was forced last August after it was revealed that racist jokes had been told at OUCA hustings. A candidate standing for political officer was asked to tell the most racist joke he knew and also to name his least favourite minority. Jokes included offensive language and references to lynchings. The incident was strongly condemned by OUCA, but was reported by national press. Oxford University’s proctorial office declined to comment on the incident, however, as an official complaint is yet to be recieved by the university; it appears that they are currently powerless to act against the perpetrator.




Thursday, June 17, 2010

Huppert to vote against any increase in tuition fees Philip Brook News Editor If Cambridge’s current MP Julian Huppert does not vote against any increase in tuition fees, Cambridge University Students’ Union (CUSU) have threatened to publicise this to the greatest extent possible at the next election. The move, passed by CUSU Council this week, comes following the omission of Lib Dem promises to block tuition fee rises from the coalition’s agreement. The Liberal Democrats promised to gradually abolish tuition fees if elected to govern, yet under their agreement with the Conservatives, they will only abstain from any vote on increasing the costs. CUSU have reacted angrily to such a move as abstention would allow the legislation to pass. Ben Towse of Churchill College told CUSU Coun-

A precedent for broken promises already exists in Cambridge, Anne Campbell, Cambridge’s MP until 2005, voted for tuition fees in spite of promises to the contrary. Losing

the seat to the Liberal Democrats in 2005, the issue of Top-Up fees played a key role in the debate. Huppert, however, has moved quickly to dispel any doubts when contacted, telling The Cambridge Student (TCS): “I signed the NUS pledge to oppose any increase in fees and stand by that promise. “Our government has promised to bear student debt in mind when responding to the Browne review, and I hope it will come to sensible conclusions. If not, I will stick to my principles. “I believe and have always believed that students should take up places in higher education on their ability and not their ability to pay” Huppert is a long-standing critic of tuition fees, leading marches against the measures as an undergraduate, Huppert’s website declares that “as Cambridge’s MP, I would vote to scrap student fees”.

From a Liberal Democrat point of view, I have to say, I am elated. The Liberal Democrats have had for years the ideas, the enthusiasm and the nous to exact real change, but we’ve lacked the tools to make them a reality. Now we’re in government, we have a unique chance to prove ourselves. Yet in the coalition agreement, for many Lib Dems, there was one sticking point - the promise that our MPs would not vote against the Conservatives, if, at the end of the review taking place as you read this, the recommendation was to up tuition fees. All 57 of our MPs, including Cambridge’s Julian Huppert, pledged, many in front of huge audiences and television cameras, that they would do their utmost to stop the increases.

The CUSU council vote is admirable. The Lib Dem MPs must keep their pledge in order to keep our respect. I’m counting on them. I’m counting on them, because I believe that education is even more priceless than the most recent MasterCard advert would have us believe. I believe that those who call student debt the ‘best debt you’ll ever have!’ are at best patronising and at worst grossly bombastic. And I believe that those who dismiss the abolition, or even the maintenance of tuition fees as they are, as unworkable are incredibly shortsighted. If the Conservatives cannot see that, then the coalition may stall, but I hope whatever happens, our MPs will stand up for what they, and their members believe in.

cil that it was “tantamount to voting for tuition fee rises”. Towse stressed that such action by Julian Huppert, would be in breach of the NUS’ ‘Vote for Students Pledge’ to oppose tuition fee rises, signed by the MP prior to the election. The motion against such a prospect was passed unanimously by the Council placing Huppert in a potentially difficult position between party whip and constituency.

Huppert - “I signed the NUS pledge to oppose any increase in fees and stand by that promise”

Comment: should Huppert vote against any increase? Hannah Keal Chair, Cambridge Student Liberal Democrats The coalition agreement between the Lib Dems and the Conservatives is so fresh, so new, in British politics that supporters of both sides have been by turn surprised, amazed and a little shaken. However, after these initial mixed feelings, I hope those of all parties, as well as those who are of no particular affiliation, will have come to the conclusion that I have: that it is a positive thing that the government will have to have real debate about their policy, and the executive can no longer rely on the whips to compel dispirited MPs to follow the government and throw their battered convictions out the window.

Survivors’ photo at the end of St. John’s Ball. Photo: Helen Libson

Punt touts to be sent back to school if they misbehave Jennifer Boon Deputy News Editor

Cambridge City Council announced this week that it is planning to introduce new measures to limit aggressive behaviour by punt touts. Last year the Council began employing enforcement officers to control tout behaviour, so-called ‘punt police’, but is now also planning to provide special training sessions in acceptable selling techniques and threatening to issue Anti-Social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs) to serious offenders. Tim Bick, Executive Councillor with responsibility for Community Safety, told The Cambridge Student (TCS) that the tout workshops will aim to “enable a tout to stay out of trouble while doing their job.” Mr Bick did point out that “so far officers from the Council have not witnessed any excessively forceful

selling techniques being aimed at a member of the public.” The Telegraph reports that in the last three years 31 clashes between touts have been reported in Cambridge, including knife threats. Speaking to TCS, a group of punters working for Scudamore’s stated that they believed the Council exaggerates the problem of aggressive tout behaviour.

In the last three years, 31 clashes between touts have been reported in Cambridge. They felt that Council measures against touts resulted more from the hostility of local residents than from the behaviour of the touts themselves. Mr Bick commented that any prob-

lems with touts have not worsened lately and “if anything the behaviour of the touts has improved.” He continued saying that reports “now relate mainly to the number of touts visible on the street rather than their behaviour.” Although the Scudamore’s employees had limited experience of tout rivalry, some of the independent operators had encountered it. TCS spoke with a group of punters operating from the Quayside by Magdalene Bridge, who preferred to remain anonymous. They reported significant rivalry between punters based there and those based on Garret Hostel Lane. They claimed that tensions had risen recently since some operators had begun offering discounted prices in an attempt to undercut their rivals. Mr Bick stated that “We are aware of some minor bickering between operators, but this is usually resolved

before we know about it.” The punters at Magdalene Bridge were relatively dismissive of the Council measures against them, stating that although they had little real power, the enforcement officers enjoyed exercising what limited authority they had.

Training sessions in acceptable sales techniques are being planned and ASBOs have been threatened These punters claimed that the last time an enforcement officer had dealt with them, they had been reprimanded for placing their advertising table a few feet to the left of its authorised position. According to Mr Bick Council

enforcement officers “are seen to be successful in deterring bad behaviour” but “they can’t be everywhere all the time.” He believes that by providing training for the touts in acceptable behaviour, the situation can be improved further. One of the punters stated that “every year the situation’s the same, the Council just make more of it.” All were generally dismissive of their chances of receiving ASBOs. In response to these criticisms Mr Bick remarked that, “an even-handed approach can be perceived differently by people depending on what is actually going on in a particular area at the time: so no surprise that experiences reported to you may be different.” Mr Bick concluded, “Punting is an intrinsically Cambridge activity which contributes to the enjoyment of tourists and residents alike.”


Thursday, June 17, 2010


News|05 Fair treatment for Strawberry Fair, says Julian Huppert Academics in Nat Rudarakanchana a child and for years I provided first News Reporter aid cover at the fair. Strawberry Fair key vote makes an extremely valuable cultural The government should change the national Licensing Act in order to protect community events like the annual Strawberry Fair, according Julian Huppert, Cambridge’s current MP. Mr Huppert said that unexpected last minute license reviews “can seriously disrupt an event or even lead to its cancellation”. He added: “There needs to be more protection. Organizers should not be left in this vulnerable position.” The MP wants the Licensing Act changed in order to prevent last minute license reviews like the one that led to the cancellation of Strawberry Fair this summer.

The MP wants the Licensing Act changed to prevent last-minute licence reviews

Law should be changed to protect community events like Strawberry Fair - Huppert As a substitute for the event, which traditionally takes place on the first Saturday of June, local resident Cinnamon Francis-Burnett organized ‘Happy Fun Day’ on Midsummer Common. True to its name, Happy Fun Day was “very peaceful and good-natured”, according to the officer in charge of policing the event. Only two arrests were made on Happy Fun Day, with police estimating an attendance of fewer than 200 people. The calm day laid to rest widespread fears prior to the event that several thousand protestors would descend upon the commons to hold an unofficial equivalent to the annual fair. The official organizers of the fair said a badly organized replacement would be an ‘unmitigated disaster’ and distanced themselves from any

Former Cambridge MP offered £32k on departure from Parliament Nat Rudarakanchana News Reporter

substitute event. Mr Huppert also expressed regret about the cancellation of the fair and pledged his support for next year’s event: “It was clear from the strength of feeling in the city that the decision

was poorly received. I believe the fair was sadly missed. I hope that Strawberry Fair will be back bigger and better next year and I will give the organizers any support I can to achieve that aim.”

CUSU has hit out at academics this week over £600,000 plans to remove a brand new lift. Fellows forced a referendum to settle the issue. After the balcony of the grade two listed room was judged to breach disability regulations, £210,000 was spent installing a new lift. In November, the move provoked outcry for damaging a historical icon. Since November, repeated attempts by leading academics to challenge the move have been rebuffed and work on the lift was completed by February. However, the completion of the lift only elevated tensions, Dons now calling for the lift to be ripped out prior to discussions. Seventy-seven backed this proposal. The revolt forced a rethink, calling a referendum to be held later this month. CUSU were drawn into the debate by the enormous cost of the move. The cost was estimated at £352,000, and if the installation of an alternative lift was approved, that was predicted to rise to £602,000. CUSU has been campaigning for fellows to reject the idea in the impending referendum.


This week’s puzzle is some endishly simple arithmetic Part I: Given the four numbers 3, 3, 7, and 7, and using only addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, how close can you get to 24? You have to use all of the numbers… Part II: And what about with the numbers 1, 3, 4, and 6? If you want to know the answer to this weeks puzzle, or nd out more about working at BCG, please visit Photo: Twickenham Libdems

David Howarth, the former Liberal Democrat MP for Cambridge, is entitled to an estimated resettlement grant of £32,000 following his departure from Parliament. According to a research paper published by the House of Commons, the resettlement grant is designed to aid with the costs of “adjusting to non-parliamentary life”. The first £30,000 is tax-free, with the amount for each MP equivalent to between 50 and 100 per cent of the individual’s annual salary. The amount is further adjusted according to age and length of service. This means that Mr Howarth, who is 51 and has served for five years, is entitled to £32,383, a figure calculated by the TaxPayers’ Alliance, who have calculated specific

amounts for each of the 218 MPs standing down as a result of the recent general election. Mr Howarth was not available for comment on whether this figure is accurate and on whether he has decided to accept the grant. Presently, Mr Howarth is returning to his academic career as a fellow of Clare College and a Reader associated with the faculties of Law and Land Economy. Notably, Mr Howarth has been applauded in the national press for claiming nothing in second-home allowances, and emerging from the expenses scandal with his reputation intact. The Guardian, for instance, classed him as an ‘angel’. Currently, all exMPs have the option of claiming the resettlement grant when they leave the House. This year, the system could cost a total of £10.4 million.

Photo: Cantabrigensis

Speaking to The Cambridge Student (TCS), he noted that “a great deal of planning and expense goes into these one-off events. Any last minute action could prove extremely costly. Pubs and clubs, which run all year round and spread their costs, are much better equipped to deal with similar, unexpected decisions. “I grew up in Cambridge and have enjoyed Strawberry Fair since I was

Philip Brook News Editor

contribution to Cambridge. “I was extremely saddened that this year’s fair had to be cancelled after police refused to accept the democratic decision of elected city councillors.”

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03/06/2010 15:46:59




Thursday, June 17, 2010

A CUSU that works for you?

As new sabbatical officers step up to take their places, James Burton reviews how successful Cambridge University Student’s Union (CUSU) has been over the past year, finding some In a piece this paper published in May changes this year.” He pointed to the definite achievements but also some serious concerns Week last year, current CUSU President Tom Chigbo wrote: “CUSU is essential, providing us with formal representation, a strong campaigning voice as well as important student services and welfare support.” Rahul Mansigani, the incoming President, was unsurprisingly quick to claim Chigbo and his team of Sabbatical Officers (Sabbs) had fulfilled this role. “I think I speak on behalf of all the Sabbs-Elect when I say that we think the current sabbatical team have done an amazing job,” he said. Fine words. But how successful have this year’s Sabbs really been in delivering the formal representation and services they promised? Chigbo’s comment piece outlined a number of areas he wanted to focus on during his year in office: discrepancies in supervision quality, library services, and marking guidelines between Colleges and departments, and students’ right to see marked exam scripts. There has been little obvious movement on the academic issues outlined above, but Chigbo told The Cambridge Student (TCS) that “CUSU has secured a number of important

fact exam results are being released online via Camsis before they go up at Senate House for the first time this year and further, “from next year, the vast majority of students will be free of Saturday exams.” He also added that CUSU is working “to make even more improvements students’ educational experience and smooth out discrepancies between subjects and departments where they are harmful,” and “will be in the strongest possible position” to continue with this next year. Many may not notice, but as a journalist it is regularly hammered home to you by students and academics alike that our university remains a place where change takes years to come, if it comes at all. There have undoubtedly been a number of tangible results delivered by the organisation this year. What the Sabbs are perhaps most proud of is the securing of a Student Support Adviser, paid for by funding from the university. This is a job aimed at freeing up the incoming Welfare Officer’s time by providing a permanent caseworker to offer support and guidance to students who have serious welfare problems. Given that this is the first

time funding has ever been given, it is perhaps to be celebrated for setting a useful precedent, although it may be that university management chooses to continue tying in any future funding to specific projects rather than freeing up money for use wherever CUSU wants to put it. The University is soon to adopt a program called Dignity@Study, which is essentially a plan aimed at providing support and guidance for students who experience inappropriate behaviour at the hands of university staff or other students. Based on information I have been given by multiple sources time and again, bullying and harassment by supervisors is an infinitely greater problem than university authorities are willing to admit, and anything that combats this is to be welcomed. One perennial problem with CUSU is that it is far more effective at bringing about change through quiet meetings between Sabbs and university management than it is at organising events that engage with and directly involve students. The organisation tends to adopt a softly,

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Final Year Student Survey 2011

softly approach, meaning that most students often don’t find out about its successes. This kid gloves attitude is undoubtedly a more effective way of engaging with the university than endless protests and outright hostility would be, but it’s impossible to deny that it often alienates students and means that CUSU struggles when it comes to encouraging wider participation. The Town Takeover, a joint town and gown protest against tuition fees touted by the Sabbs as a major event, attracted over 200 students, but ethical and environmental protests in Green Week delivered a dismally low turnout, with barely anyone turning up to either the talks that had been organised, or to a ditch clearing event beside Jesus Green. Attempts by CUSU to help get talks between the Israel and Palestine societies back on track and ensure Israel-Palestine awareness week went ahead were a well documented failure. Although this is perhaps unsurprising given the sensitivity of the issues surrounding the event, it provides further evidence of CUSU’s tendency to be much better at engaging with the university on behalf of students than at engaging with students themselves. Perhaps more worryingly, there seems to have been a clear decline in CUSU staff morale over the last few months. CUSU employs seven non-student staff – a Finance Officer, Business Manager, Ents Manager, Union Development Manager and two receptionists – and in an anonymous survey completed for TCS, many voiced serious concerns. Four respondents rated current staff morale as either ‘poor’ or ‘very poor’, with two also stating they were ‘very unsatisfied’ with CUSU’s management structure. One reply clearly tied this dissatisfaction in with budgetary concerns, claiming in the comments section that, although “in recent years Sabbs have worked longer hours than in the past… areas where income has been declining have not been arrested, chiefly ents. Poor decisions on staff appointment in this area have caused successive Sabbs a serious problem. “Large increases in overheads e.g. the General Manager/Union Development Manager have not stemmed the decline but exacerbated the situation and have acted as a drain on limited resources. The effect of this has been masked to some extent by windfall incomes from the Year 800 and Education publications. These are one-offs and action to reduce overheads and reverse the ents decline is urgently required.” There do appear to be real issues

surrounding the budget, not least an apparent £19,000 deficit that has forced CUSU to dip into its reserves. CUSU Coordinator Clare Tyson’s explanation for this is that CUSU is “resetting” its accounting practice for income from the Oxford and Cambridge Careers Handbook (OCCH), and the deficit is an accounting one, rather than a real one – in other words, whereas in previous years the OCCH was included in the budget before it was published, in future it will be accounted for in the budget the year after it has been produced. This means in practice that an extra revenue stream will be produced during this financial year that has not been included in the budget but will, apparently cover the apparent deficit. However, no new deal has yet been secured for the OCCH in the coming year. Furthermore, Excellence in Education, a one-off publication that will not be reproduced this year, brought £35,000 into this year’s CUSU pot. In effect, this means the OCCH will have to be able to generate not just £19,000 in revenue in future years, but £54,000, a far bigger ask. With this in mind, incoming CUSU Coordinator Chris Lillycrop believes that more must be done to ensure the organisation remains revenue positive. “We do not currently have a new deal in place for the OCCH, so we are in real terms £19,000 short. In the light of this, securing CUSU’s future will be one of my biggest challenges this year,” he said. One possible area in which savings could be made – as perhaps suggested by the comment in the questionnaire above – is to reduce CUSU’s overheads by making redundancies where staff are not bringing money in. Such a move might well be unpopular with the College Council, but the removal of a salary from CUSU’s outgoings would doubtless save money. Tyson, however, made it clear that “each and every Sabbatical Officer’s and Staff member’s role exists to enable CUSU to fulfil its activities.” However, it cannot be denied that were one less salary being paid, even if the OCCH deal falls through, CUSU would be in the green this year. So, has it been a good year for CUSU? I remain less than 100 per cent convinced. Certainly there have been successes, although it is sometimes unpopular for a paper to admit so, but mistakes have also been made, and the budget continues to be more worrying than Tyson wishes to make out. The incoming Sabbs will have to urgently address the decline in staff morale, and to work harder on student engagement if CUSU is to ensure its members pay it serious attention.


Thursday, June 17, 2010



Arcane, unfair and unreasonable: Class lists special report

Free to browse at will: Members of the public look over student results outside The Senate House

James Burton TCS Reporter For over 200 years, Cambridge University has posted public class lists outside Senate House. For just as long, this has been a major concern to students who do not want their exam results to be on display for colleagues, academics and casual passers-by. Despite this, there remains only one official method of opting out of the system. According to the ‘guidance note on withholding names from class lists’, “applications will only be considered where there are exceptional circumstances and for good cause, such as where there is demonstrable medical and/or other appropriate supporting evidence that publication would be likely seriously to endanger a student’s health or mental well-being.” However, this is in clear contradiction to the ‘Data Protection Good Practice Note: Publication of examination results by schools’ published by the Information Commissioners’ Office in 2007, which states that “a school would need to have a justifiable reason to reject someone’s objection to publication of their exam results.” This seems to suggest the onus should be on the university to prove a student has no good reason to object to class list publication; at present, the university forces students to prove that they do have good reason to object, creating unnecessary extra worry over what is inevitably already a sensitive issue. Students without specific health problems but the perfectly reasonable desire not to have their data viewed by prying eyes are told they must provide evidence of trauma and are unable to do so. Asking students who do have personal difficulties to provide evidence of this to their Senior Tutor is intrusive to say the least. The guidance also forces students to submit an opt-out application by communicating through their Senior Tutor: “Any applications for a name to be withheld from the class list must be submitted by the Tutor on behalf of the student to the Secretary of the Applications Committee.” Central university administrators

seem to have a serious objection to being contacted directly by students, although they are quite happy to publish their data without checking students do not object to it first. But what if a student’s poor relationship with their senior tutor is part of the reason their “mental wellbeing” is likely to be damaged? There is no alternative method offered. Although most students who do provide medical evidence to their senior tutor and are able to persuade them to pass it on eventually do have their names removed – 21 out of 24 in 2009 – the fact is that many with concerns are put off by the stipulation that evidence must be provided, and many more may be dissuaded from putting an application in at all in the first instance by their senior tutor. However, this reporter submitted a letter directly to Dr Jonathan Nicholls, the University Registrary (and therefore the person ultimately responsible for University records), detailing places in which the Information Commissioner’s guidelines were at odds with the University’s own system for opting out, and asking to be removed from the class lists because “publication of examination results outside the Senate House will cause me substantial unwarranted distress and anguish of a real nature.” Less than a week later, a response was received through my college stating “the Applications Committee has approved your application to have your name withheld from the classlist.” No further supporting medical evidence was given in the letter, and none was asked for by the Standing Committee; nor was I told to resubmit my request through my senior tutor. Ant Bagshaw, former Cambridge University Students’ Union (CUSU) Education Officer, and a campaigner for class list reform throughout his time with the organisation, called the letter and its result a success. “This suggests that when the university is confronted with a direct request based on sound arguments following guidance from the information commissioner, regardless of internal university policy, they find it impossible to argue with.”

Photo: gierszewski

Bagshaw said he was “hardly surprised that the university didn’t abide by its own procedures: there are some

“Legal advice to the university was that the current systems were unjustifiable” people in the Old Schools who think they’re untouchable, that they can do whatever they like regardless of what students are told and trample over their reasonable expectations and

rights. “One of the saddest things about this is that the university had an opportunity, last year, to make some small changes which would have helped students and decided instead not to bother. “I was told by multiple reliable sources that the legal advice to the university was that the current systems were unjustifiable but that Alan Clark, a senior manager who lurks in the Old Schools, didn’t want to change the rules unless forced to by a student complaint. “This attitude is outrageous and typifies some of the senior administrators’ attitudes to refusing change at

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any cost,” he added. CUSU continues to challenge the University’s established policy on class lists. Current Education Officer Sam Wakeford said: “We are approached by large numbers of students each year who are unhappy about their results being made public, but most are put off by the university’s arcane and intrusive procedure from formally applying to prevent it. CUSU is quite clear; students should have the right to keep their name off the Senate House class lists if they wish to.” The university remains adamant that, despite my letter, there has been no formal change to its policy. “The official published regulations relating to class lists still apply,” a spokesperson said. “Since your letter, which, it turns out, was bogus, arrived at such short notice at an extremely busy time for the administration and since it was so strongly worded indicating your distress, a decision was taken to overrule that in this instance in your interest.” However, if nothing else, the result of this letter proves one thing – that the system proposed for opting out by the university is not as concrete as the Standing Committee’s guidelines would suggest. With a well-argued application to university authorities, students can avoid the unnecessary and unfair process university procedure would seem to require.




Thursday, June 17, 2010

‘Cambridge was the making of me’ Naomi O’Leary speaks to Diane Abbott, Cambridge graduate and -she hopes-Labour’s next leader

Diane Abbott has made a historic bid to become Labour leader, the first time a black person has contested the leadership of a British political party. The daughter of Jamaican immigrants studied history at Newnham. We talk to her about lads’ mag culture, civil liberties and the road from Cambridge to being Westminster’s first black female MP.

In this post 9/11 society, many of our civil liberties have been compromised in a way they previously would not have. My government responded to a change in mood among people in the UK, and sometimes it misjudged this mood, for example with ID cards. This was something a Labour government should never have brought in and sadly it now falls to the coalition to get rid of them. Fighting terrorism is a priority for government. But we need to be realistic. Threats will not be stopped by detaining people for 42 days without trial. We need to invest in greater intelligence rather than taking knee jerk reactions You present yourself as “not just

You opposed the Iraq war. Are we stuck there now until we clean up the mess we made? The Iraq War represents a time when trust was lost in our government. I marched on the night before the vote with hundreds of people, who like me, did not want to see us go to war based on a dodgy dossier. They asked the government to listen and they ignored them, despite it being the biggest march ever held in London. I am the only candidate who listened and voted against the Iraq War. I think the ‘mess’ can only be truly cleared up once our government acknowledges that this was a mistake and that we let our country down. We need to make sure we don’t repeat the same mistakes by continuing our presence in Afghanistan.

“Cambridge helped immensely to instill confidence to be different” a man in a suit”, the non-mainstream candidate who reflects the eclectic make up of modern British society. Has your status as a Cambridge University alumna helped or hindered this aspect to your campaign? I will always be proud of having come from Newnham College, Cambridge. Cambridge was really the making of me. At first, I felt like I did not belong there and that was a learning curve for me. But I soon flourished in the environment. Since then, in every profession I’ve worked in from TV journalist to MP, I’ve never been afraid to be the only woman or ethnic minority. I’ve always worked in male dominated careers and politics is no different. Cambridge helped immensely to instill this confidence to be different, but also to be proud of that difference.

“The Iraq war represents a time when trust was lost in our government” You have recently spoken out in parliament against ‘lads’ mags’ in a debate on media images of women. The trend here at Cambridge (where this year a student newspaper has debuted a ‘Page 3’ feature, and the Cambridge Union society has begun to offer pole dancing classes for female students) is very much towards a normalisation of lads’ mag culture. Specifically, what is your objection to such depictions of women, and what would you do about it as Labour leader? My objection to the lad mags specifically was their accessibility in shops to young people. These magazines were often not placed high enough up on shelves as they should be, considering the content on their cover. As a mother, I did not want to think that children going into the newsagents for a bag of sweets should be confronted with a half naked woman at eye level.

Finally, what is your advice to those who look up to you as an inspiration and a model for what those from minority backgrounds can achieve in Britain? As a result, I helped one of my constituents become a porn free newsagent. As a female MP, the depiction of me in the media is often harsher than that of my male colleagues. Focus on hair, clothes and family life is much more intense and that is unfair and sexist. As Labour leader I would tackle this by encouraging more women into cabinet so it is no longer unusual to have a woman in a position

of power. I hope that my involvement in this leadership contest will be the last time that only one woman is running to lead the Labour Party. Of the other candidates for Labour leader, who do you support and why? I am in this contest to win it so I am supporting myself. The other candidates are all good contend-

ers. We’ve been getting on well, and we’ve had to because we’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the summer! Your speech in defense of civil liberties during the Counter Terrorism Bill in 2008 won wide acclaim. Do you think fighting terrorism is still top priority for the government, and what approach would you advocate?

Use that inspiration to follow your dreams and never let anyone tell you this isn’t for you. It is sad that 23 years after I was first elected as Britain’s first black female MP, that there is still not the representation I would like to see from women or ethnic minorities in Westminster. But if I had listened to those who said I couldn’t do it, or that I wasn’t good enough to do it, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

The end is only the beginning... Congratulations on finishing your exams! You can now revel in the joys of May Week and dedicate your time and energy to unwinding and relaxing. If you’re about to graduate, look out for the Cambridge Alumni Relations Office (CARO) team at General Admission. As you leave the Senate House, we will be there to greet you and give you your free copy of the 2010 Graduation Yearbook, containing your College matriculation photo and the year in news from Varsity.

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Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Eyewitness: Egypt’s Opposition Movements

Belgium Divided After the separatist New Flemish Alliance won a landslide in this year’s Belgian presidential election, Flemish-speaking Flanders may secede from the rest of French-speaking Belgium. Liam McNulty mourns the possible loss of the country’s distinctive charm.

Photo: Hossam El Hamalawy

Last week I visited Belgium before it disappeared for good. This piece will probably read as a eulogy for the land of nice beer, Django Reinhardt and haiku-writing Presidents of the European Council. Brussels sits centrally like an island, home to a cosmopolitan crowd of Eurocrats, interns and lobbyists living a twilight existence in the cafés surrounding the European Parliament. With its bilingual signage, the capital marks the schizophrenic frontier between Wallonia and Flanders. A little further out can be found a diverse range of immigrant communities, many as self-contained as the EU crowd. In the Portuguese quarter, demarcated with Portuguese and Brazilian flags, I was able to eat pastéis de nata, drink Portuguese beer and imported Portuguese bottled water. For a minute it was honestly possible to believe I was in Lisbon. On one occasion we set off for a beach and the weather inevitably obliged us with grey clouds and heavy rain. En route we stopped at a motorway service station, and not being knowledgeable about the exactitudes of the country’s linguistic divide, I proceeded to speak limited French to ashen-faced Flemish staff. The first seaside town we reached was Koksijde, thankfully only several kilometres from the French border. The seafront was even greyer than the sky. When we finally made it over the border to France the sun came out, the day was glorious and the seafronts more amenable. While swimming at a beach boasting Second World War sea defences, however, the Eastern bloc chic of Koksijde loomed ominously in the distance, like the turrets of Maoist Albania glaring menacingly over the Strait of Otranto at Italian beachgoers. Other highlights included the brewery at Westvleteren, which sells a 12 per cent beer brewed by trappist monks once voted the best in the world. It will not allow the sale of its products anywhere else but on site so you will have to go there to try it. Unfortunately I was in no real mood to drink beer any longer; my exams had finished a few hours before I first arrived in Belgium and prior to reaching the Eurostar my friend and I were already celebrating. On balance, I would be sad to see Belgium go. Sure, its quirky charms invite gentle mocking and it is in a constant state of political turmoil. Still, I hope it sticks around, if only to spite Nigel Farage.

Elspeth Carruthers TCS Reporter ‘Welcome to Egypt,’ one protester shouted . ‘This is what our democracy looks like.’ As he ran off into downtown Cairo, chanting demonstrators showered us with leaflets from a balcony. On them was printed, in Arabic, the Egyptian national anthem. At street level stood lines of riot police, waiting to storm the building and arrest them. ‘They’ll stay up there as long as they can,’ another activist told me. ‘They know as soon as they stop, they’ll be arrested, it’s all over.’ A British couple asked me if I knew what was going on. ‘We have no idea why they’re protesting,’ they said. Many in the West still don’t, but the return to Egypt and Egyptian politics of former International Atomic Energy Agency chief Mohamed ElBaradei has drawn an unusual amount of attention to the Egyptian opposition movement. Seen as a potential challenger to Hosni Mubarak, president of Egypt for the last 29 years, ElBaradei’s international profile and illustrious career has raised the profile of Egyptian protesters and their demands. Yet while ElBaradei has the potential to be a decisive figure in Egyptian politics, with the possibility of uniting the disparate factions opposing Mubarak, he ‘came in the night – the struggle has been going on all day,’ as bestselling Egyptian author Alaa al-Aswany said earlier this month in the Guardian. The protest movements he has joined are hardly new, and are slowly gaining ground. The government’s response to protest has been brutal. On the streets of Cairo for the 6th April protest earlier this month, people were dragged away by gangs of plain clothes po-

lice, often three or four to one protester. I saw one woman pushed flat on the ground; one demonstrator ran past with blood on his face, another clutching his arm where he had been hit. Lines of riot police charged around downtown Cairo, and a huddle of plain clothes state security stood on every street corner, ready to move at the first sign of protest. A three star general in full military regalia had unfolded a deckchair and was watching the fun from a safe distance. Under Egyptian emergency law, more than four people gathering in the street constitutes a riot – but they gathered anyway outside the Shura Council near Tahrir Square and kept shouting even as the riot police were bearing down on them. As a journalist friend and I tried to take pictures we were chased and grabbed by state security, trying to take the camera; other journalists were similarly harassed. We stood in the middle of Tahrir as young Egyptians sidled up to us and furtively exchanged mobile phone pictures of the violence via Bluetooth or said a few words into a Dictaphone as riot police stood a few steps away. In the confusion of the day, it was hard to gauge the scale of the violence; it later transpired that over 90 had been detained, with many tortured, beaten or sexually molested, some in a garage not far from where we had been standing. In power since the 1981 Sadat assassination, the charge sheet against Egypt’s government is long and damning. Despite its reputation as one of the Middle East’s more liberal countries, Egypt is still a police state, with routine detention and torture and limited press freedom. Cosmetic constitutional ‘reforms’ have cre-

ated a sham democracy where it is, in reality, extremely hard for anyone to oppose Mubarak and his ruling National Democratic Party. Add to this sweeping neoliberal economic reforms that have allowed Egypt’s elite to grow richer while inflation soars and 42.8% of Egyptians live on less than $2 a day, and it’s no surprise that protest in Egypt has been going on for some time. Until 2005, presidential elections in Egypt were referendums on a candidate selected by Mubarak’s NDP. A constitutional amendment allowed multi-party elections – but further restrictions on the candidate selection process and bias towards the NDP meant that the subsequent 2005 election, which Mubarak won with 88.6%, was no improvement. Ayman Nour, Mubarak’s main challenger, was imprisoned after the election on politically motivated charges of fraud. ElBaradei has said he will refuse to stand in presidential elections that are not fully free and fair. With parliamentary opposition thus nearly impossible, Egypt’s protest movement has found other means of challenging Mubarak. In the West, the popular image of opposition is the Muslim Brotherhood, the Islamist party, almost invariably portrayed as bearded fanatics bent on a fundamentalist Islamic state; conveniently, this is also the image Mubarak wants to project, especially to the West, in order to legitimise his regime as the secular, liberal alternative to the menacing, Islamist ‘other’. Yet the Brotherhood is complex: it is made up of several factions, not all political, not all fundamentalist, cutting across age and class boundaries. The Brotherhood is popular in Egypt – leading to harassment and intimi-

dation of its members by the government – yet it is by no means the only opposition movement. Secular protest is also increasing, spurred on by the 2000 intifada and the 2003 Iraq invasion, with the 6th April youth movement and Kifayah (‘Enough’) movement staging protests in Cairo and other major cities. The past few weeks have seen this escalating, with large, violent demonstrations in Cairo followed by the detention and torture of activists. The labour movement, the most active in the Middle East, has seen a similar escalation; after years agitating for wages that match inflation and job security, their demands are becoming politicised. At a demonstration on the 22nd April in Mahalla, one of Egypt’s major industrial centres, up to 20,000 protesters shouted their opposition to Mubarak’s government. In Cairo, barely a day goes by without a sit-in or protest by dissatisfied workers, often sharing the pavement with 6th April or Kifayah activists. It’s an uncomfortable image of Egypt that jars with that we see in the West. Despite the scale of the opposition in Egypt, little attention is paid in the Western media to the politics of what is often seen as a stable, even liberal state. When opposition to Mubarak is discussed, it is portrayed as stagnant and lifeless, incapable of effecting change. Yet the various strands of Egyptian protest tell a different story- overlapping, sometimes co-operating, united for now by their opposition to Mubarak. The hope is not for ElBaradei to be their saviour but to create the space needed for them to effect real change. Although ElBaradei has arrived late in the day, he has drawn attention to what democracy looks like in Egypt.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010


Has Israel lost its sense of proportion? Yes

Chris Lillycrop The response of the Israeli government to the Gaza flotilla showed that Israel has indeed lost all sense of proportion, as it seeks to find policies that are sufficiently hostile to satisfy the zionist demands of the Israeli public and sufficiently responsible to maintain Israel’s place in the clique of liberal nations. To demonstrate just how dramatic this abandonment of proportionality has been, I prefer to turn away from my own explanations of the IDF’s actions, and instead cite those who consider themselves to be advocates of the Israeli state. There has been no shortage in the past few weeks of people willing to excuse the deaths at sea, by drawing attention to the small collection of kitchen knives found aboard the MV Mavi Marmara. This equivocation should shock us. When so small a threat is considered sufficient to warrant the deaths of nine people, it is time for us to reconsider how we perceive the Israeli state. But if the need for all of us to scrutinise Israel is great, the urgency of self-scrutiny in Israel is even greater. Because Israel has lost not just its sense of proportion but also, tragically, its sense of identity. Israeli advocates have long insisted that Israel should not be seen as just another tile in the Middle Eastern mosaic of terrorist groups and oppressive governments, but as something different - something better. Not only do Israelis appear to be losing their commitment to that idea, but it is also becoming painfully clear that it sometimes has only a very tenuous grounding in fact. The media outcry over the deaths on the Mavi Marmara has been seized upon in some quarters as a demonstration that all criticism of Israeli policies is driven by straightforward anti-semitism. Not only is such a simplistic reaction an insult to victims of actual anti-semitic prejudice, it also prevents any healthy debate on Israeli affairs. In the past, Zionism itself was a desire to create a state that was better, purer and more worthy of emulation. But both this ideal, and the sense of Israeli exceptionalism in the Middle East, have now been cast aside in favour of loudly-stated outrage that the Want

wider world should dare to have differentiated expectations of the Israeli state and, for example, a Pakistani terrorist group. It should be emphasized that the question of how to respond to the Gaza flotilla was not at all easy. Those on board the boat were not simply aid-workers. The boats were not just conveying aid, they were making an expression of political dissent, and that fact should be acknowledged by those who are critical of Israel. But one of the greatest tests of a liberal state is how it deals with dissent and, whilst Israel continues to excel in fields such as gender rights and gay rights, it is still failing hugely in the challenge of dealing proportionally and humanely with political dissent.

One of the greatest tests of a liberal state is how it deals with dissent Confronting political dissent with lethal force is not a morally acceptable tactic. It is not legitimate when it consists of a man with a bomb strapped to his body, and it is no more so when embodied by soldiers firing at civilian protesters. No matter how awkward or deliberately provocative protest may be, the burden still falls upon the state to deal with protesters in a way that protects them from harm. The Israeli state has not yet grasped the challenge of operating on these terms. For many Israelis, proportionality does not seem to matter, so long as the barbarians are kept outside the gate. But the days of that attitude may well be numbered: Israel needs a measure of global support, and most Western states demand a far more mature approach to the use of force. The last time I wrote for TCS on the topic of Israel-Palestine, it was as co-author on a collaborative article about the need for Cambridge advocates on both sides of the conflict to conduct themselves responsibly and strive for a constructive discourse. This need is now more important than ever. The days after the deaths on the Mavi Marmara saw nothing but anger on one side, and a stubborn refusal to countenance the notion of Israeli mistakes on the other. The pro-Palestinian movement still lacks a coherent moral message, and Israel is rapidly losing its sense of both proportion and identity. At times like this, the need for us to make honest and responsible contributions to debate is more urgent than ever before.


Rob Mindell The answer to this question is clearly no. Israel once again finds itself in the role of our misunderstood friend. ‘Flotillagate’ was a mere extension of the recent trend in the Middle East conflict - Israel’s enemies creating a lose-lose situation for the region’s icon of democracy and freedom. Israel had two choices: allow an unchecked boat to land on Gazan shores, creating a passage for future ships containing Iranian and Syrian weapons to increase the range of Hamas’ rocket fire, or alternatively Israel could have intercepted the convoy to bring the boats into the port of Ashdod where the cargo could go through security checks. The choice was not a difficult one – putting up to four million of your own citizens in danger is clearly not a rational decision for any State government to make. Had the flotilla activists’ primary goal actually been to deliver the aid, they would have accepted the offers of Egypt or Israel to take the cargo or even allow the activists to observe their security checks. Even if they had not agreed to this offer, a stark difference can be seen between the first flotilla and the ‘Rachel Corrie’ which was also boarded by Israeli authorities four days later. The activists on the Rachel Corrie were not violent; no fatalities ensued. Loss of life is always heart-rending, but looking back, the causalities are hardly surprising given that several activists interviewed by Al-Jazeera News declared the wish “to reach martyrdom” and chanting battle cries calling for the killing of Jews. This is the same ‘lose-lose’ tactic that has been invoked by Hamas since Israel’s withdrawal of settlers from Gaza in 2005. By firing rockets intended to kill Israeli civilians, the Israeli government have to react to protect its own subjects and, in doing so, fall into Hamas’ ready-made urban warzone filled with boobytrapped houses and weapons storage and firing facilities from schoolyards and hospital roof-tops. We judge before we understand the context. The errors of this were shown in the 2002 ‘Jenin Massacre’, when CNN, the UN, Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch were all led to believe that thousands of Palestinians had been killed by

an Israeli operation in a Palestinian refugee camp. Later it was discovered that the actual death toll was 52 Palestinians and 23 Israelis, rather than the thousands alleged by the Palestinian Authority. But have we learned from this? Apparently not. We are taken in by the PR war and form our opinions accordingly, making allegations and condemnations remarks of disproportionate force. We judge before we understand. On a wider level, one wonders how on earth Israel is to be judged on its conduct whilst it continues to be drawn into daily hostilities against Hamas. It is nothing less than full-blown war but, nonetheless, Israel still delivers aid into the hands of their enemies – an unthinkable course of action from a military and security perspective. Let us not forget that Hamas have not once in their history accepted the possibility of forming an independent Palestinian State to live alongside a Jewish State of Israel. Israel is fighting a war against an enemy whose sole goal is the extermination of Israel itself. The evidence is there in the Hamas charter: “Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it, just as it obliterated others before it… There is no solution for the Palestinian question except through Jihad… The Day of Judgement will not come about until Muslims fight the Jews, killing the Jews.”

We are taken in by PR, and judge before we understand the context This is a view that has always represented the mindset of the Palestinian leadership. Describing his infamous meeting with Adolf Hitler, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem Amin Al Husseini wrote that: “Our fundamental condition for cooperating with Germany was a free hand to eradicate every last Jew from Palestine and the Arab world. I asked Hitler for an explicit undertaking to allow us to solve the Jewish problem in a manner befitting our national and racial aspirations and according to the scientific methods innovated by Germany in the handling of the Jews. The answer I got was, ‘The Jews are yours’.” When this is the enemy you are at war with, the proportionality equation has to be significantly recalculated to account for the potential number of casualties that could occur if Israel does not act to defend itself.

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Thank-you for the days..

Rebekah Tennyson So, here it is; the end of my university life. Back in the days when I was proudly informing the world and its dog that I was about to start at Cambridge, I was constantly told that my years would be the best ones of my existence - a sentiment which puts something of a damper on the thought of life beyond graduation. Of course, it doesn’t help that my response to the inevitable “what are you doing next year?” is limited to variations on a pretty basic theme: “not a clue”. If I’m honest, I’m not sure I have a “real world” ready for me to be catapulted into - a lengthy spell in the purgatory between student life and proper-grown-upscary-work-world beckons. Still, if the Cambridge Tripos hasn’t exactly prepared me to tackle the realities of the job market just yet, I at least feel qualified to pass on certain life lessons that, had I possessed them from the start, might have made my time run here a little more smoothly. Firstly, don’t drink and ride. Seriously. Cycling home after a night out may seem like a good idea at the time, but the next thing you know your heel gets stuck in the pedal and suddenly you’re upside-down in the middle of the road with the bike on top of you. And that’s before you’ve even tried to go anywhere. Don’t count on your friends either they’re more likely to be filming you than trying to help you up. Secondly, develop a healthy cynicism towards your teachers. Don’t assume that, when a supervisor tells you they’ve printed off the reading list for you, they’ve actually given you the right one rather than a version which misses off a rather crucial set text. You’ll regret it when the truth surfaces a month before exams. I loved first year. Oh! I can’t stress this enough - be careful what you sign up for. Time will dull the pain with a fond masochistic nostalgia, but the reality of certain activities can be brutal: rowing may seem like a quintessential college experience but, actually, getting up at 5am for rowing three times a week is like nothing so much as punching yourself in the face three times a week, before eating a lot of something to which you’re pretty sure you’re allergic but stuff your face with anyway. You know – for shits and giggles. “Oh... yeh... Shellfish definitely makes me pass out. Can’t believe I forgot that...” As far as I’m concerned, it’s this kind of accumulated wisdom, this evidence of hard-won maturity, that more than any distinguished degree should make me a catch for potential employers. But just in case, maybe I’ll apply for a PhD...

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Death on the ‘Freedom Flotilla’ to Gaza

Farah Jassat speaks to Ismail Patel - founder of the Palestinian charity Friends of Al Aqsa about his experience aboard the MV Marmara when it was attacked When did you realise something was not going to plan? We started sailing on Monday 28th May from Antalya towards Gaza carrying with us humanitarian aid. On Sunday at 10.30pm we spotted approx three Israeli warships. Nothing happened until 4.10 in the morning. We started hearing something like eight speedboats approaching the MV Marmara. As they got nearer, they started firing first sound bombs followed by teargas and stun grenades. People on the decks were doing whatever they could on the deck to go overboard – trying to repel the speedboats. At this stage a helicopter approached immediately live ammunition. We can now calculate that they shot one person every minute. I personally witnessed four deaths in front of me. These deaths were avoidable and I lay the blame squarely on the state of Israel. Were you warned about the use of live ammunition? At no stage, either from the speedboats or the helicopter – were we warned or a caution was given to us. When the first victim fell – I did not actually see this, but the head of the flotilla raised a white flag – the shooting continued and soldiers started descending.

Whilst this was happening, your family hoped you were alive due to hearing you on a loud speaker in a clip broadcasted on Euronews. What happened? Although the white flag was waved, I felt it was necessary for me to use the tannoy. I spoke in English very calmly to say we are only civilians, to surrender, and requested my colleagues sit down, put their hands on their legs or the tables and not to move. Despite our repeated calls, the firing continued. I requested a member of Knesset who was with us to write in Hebrew to say we had severely injured people with us and we needed help and to put the placard against the window. By now Israeli soldiers had surrounded the whole of the boat and had their guns pointing towards us. Despite all this, Israeli soldiers pointed a gun and turned on the red beam light on her head. I told her to move back and she moved back. That request cost the life of another individual who was lying on the floor bleeding, and he was shot on his left upper chest. He died a few minutes later. After the shooting stopped, what happened? After approximately two hours time,

they said okay bring your wounded out. There must have been literally hundreds of soldiers with dogs and guns pointing to us. We had to put our hands behind our backs and they tied our hands with straps. We were taken on the top deck and made to sit in a crouch position –from the eighty-eight year old oldest passenger to the youngest. This carried on for almost several hours. If anybody stood up he was shot down, if anybody requested to go to the bathroom, he was told to pass urine on himself. What happened when you arrived in the port of Ashdod? We were not taken to a detention centre. We were taken to the prison for another twenty-four hours, which was - under the circumstances of what we had just gone through – reasonably comfortable. We were four to a room, we were given for the first time some water and food. When were you deported from Israel to Turkey? On Thursday. A journey which should have taken us 1 hour but because of deliberately stopping on the way, it took 12 hours and we couldn’t use any facilities to the call of nature. This was deliberate degradation of our morals, humanity and integrity.

Were you seen by the British Consulate? I was never visited by the British Consulate - nobody came to see me, nobody came to ask for my welfare. was not aware what the outside world knew or did not know about us – that in itself creates an anxiety and stress level that i have never been aware of. I was told later on by somebody else who was also not seen -that the consulate could not visit us because the Israelis had told them that they could only visit between nine and five. What steps do you think now need to be taken? Israel has violated the rights of the British Government; Israel has violated the rights of the British people, the rights of peace-workers and

international law. We demand that our government proposes a Security Council resolution for the blockade to be lifted. The British government must also seek compensation for the violation on its citizens. All of us were stripped of our assets. We were left in the clothes that we were wearing. Our money in our bags was taken, our mobile phones, our cameras and all of our possessions were taken – we didn’t have a single thing. Finally, the international community must enforce, using instruments at their disposal, that that country obeys international law. I don’t think that we can allow the deaths of innocent people to be wasted. I call on the international community to rise up and to work towards ending the siege


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the extra-curricular rather than the academic. A quick leaf through our pages will leave no one in doubt as to the scope of opportunities for enrichment, excitement and fun that abound in the university. Seize them, and don’t let them slip by. Through the malaise of exams, parties and preparations for a long summer, the insularity of Cambridge can often become apparent. And, hopefully, in the course of this issue we have managed to remind of a world beyond academia, which for many is about to become a fresh stomping ground. ZB.

Editor Zach Brown Managing Editor James Burton Design Editor Alice Spawls Photography Editor Jonty Fairless News Editors Andrew Georgiou, Phil Brook Deputy News Editors Jen Mills and Jenny Boon International News Editor Elspeth Carruthers international@ Comment Editor Jess Toushek Interviews Editor Mari Shibata Deputy Interviews Editor Farah Jassat Theatre Editor Olivia Crellin Film Editor Shane Murray Deputy Film Editors James Garner Music Editor Phoebe Amoroso Deputy Music Editors Adam Whitehead and Richard

McLauchlan Sports Editor Michael Alhadeff Deputy Sports Editor Thomas Wills Arts & Literature Editors Max Haberich and Sophie Partarrieu Food Editor Lettice Franklin food@tcs. Chief Sub-Editor Henry Drummond Board of Directors Anna Croall (Chair), Mark Curtis (Business), Clare Tyson (CUSU Coordinator), Joel Winton, James Burton, Zach Brown and Jo Ashbridge tcs-directors@

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May week is a funny time of year. The anticipated euphoria of freedom from libraries, lectures and revision notes can often ebb away into an anti-climactic lull. As results filter through, some will be jubilant, others ambivalent, and some rueful of more time spent swapping than swotting. But Cambridge is about more than exams. The relationships forged over the course of a degree will last longer than any joy or despair found on the Senate House wall. Our interviewees this week, Dianne Abbott and Dr Phil Hammond both fondly recall their Cambridge years, focussing on

16/06/2010 11:47:39

The Cambridge Student is published by Cambridge University Students’ Union. All copyright is the exclusive property of the Cambridge University Students’ Union. The Cambridge Student also publishes the magazine ZINE. Although The Cambridge Student is affiliated to the University Students’ Union we are editorially independent and financially self-sufficient. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means without prior permission of the publisher. NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT RECYCLING Recycled paper made up 80.6% of the raw material for UK newspapers in 2006


Thursday, June 17, 2010




Semi-naked trespassers emerging shivering from the choppy waters of the Cam. Fake musicians inveigling their way into the affections of gullible officials. Even a secret society known as ‘the shadows.’ Welcome to the hidden world of the Cambridge ball crasher. May Week is upon us, and, having survived the exam period intact, most students are eagerly waiting for the May Balls. However, the privilege of attendance does not come cheap and tickets themselves are often hard to find. Unsurprisingly, several risk-taking students have taken mat-

ters into their own hands, and have discovered imaginative ways to get around the access limitations. Ball crashers may try one of a variety of techniques including bribery, fence-hopping, concealment or even swimming. Last year, two daring Girtonians breast-stroked across the Cam in their underwear, with ball dresses wrapped in plastic bags and pinned to their heads. However, on arrival at Trinity they were met and ejected by a canny security guard. Failure is not without consequence with crashers at John’s facing fines of £200, but these penalties do not

faze the experienced ball crasher, for whom crashing has become an art form. Forging wristbands is popular, with one crasher describing the process as ‘pretty simple, especially if you can get a copy of the wristband in advance’. This individual once passed a wrist band inspection despite sporting a band that was paper rather than fabric and printed rather than embroidered, proving that guards are far from infallible. Prior knowledge of line-ups can be key to success. One in-the-know gentleman arrived at the Emmanuel Ball two years ago claiming to be

‘James the DJ’. An enthusiastic committee member greeted him at the door, took him on a 15 minute tour including a thorough explanation of the sound equipment, and then left him to his own devices. The poor committee member got quite a shock later when he was called to the plodge to meet the ‘real’ James the DJ. The Cambridge Student has got word of a group of expert ball crashers, known as ‘the shadows’. Based in Oxford, they team up during the ball season to exploit the University’s lavish events. The shadows shift to Cambridge for May Week, renting a local

Photo: Jonty Fairless

Sabina Puri reveals the secret world of the ball breakers

cottage, and skipping from ball to ball by night. They go under a range of aliases, including ‘Romeo’ and ‘Walter’, and can only be identified by their characteristic brown shoes. Crashing may provide a thrill, but it does not come without moral consequences. One ball crasher, a veteran of around 20 balls, revealed his actions do weigh on his conscience. To ease this burden, he donates some money to charity after each ball.Whilst TCS can’t officially condone ball crashing, for all you crashers, perhaps a charitable donation wouldn’t go amiss!

tive but has now become of a widereaching, polythematic character. As we push the door and walk outside there is another Cowan to the left, a big and slightly rusty pot (apparently it used to be bright pink) “Skin and Blister”. It is clear the artist is inspired by domestic objects. For this one, she used her own body measurements, transposing them into different parts of the sculpture. It is as deep as her arm, for example. I find it slightly odd and amusing that a female artist has chosen to turn herself into a domestic object...

Back inside the building, I become mesmerized by a large, vibrant, fleshy red painting, a wooden horse, and a broken frame of madonnas. The first is a painting by Ineke Van der Wal, “Red Diptych”. It is based on a landscape; yet it is so ‘meaty’ and organic that it is both about the landscape and the artist’s physical response and connection with it. The bright light entering the corridor really brings out each work. If you turn around, you can see straight across through the windows into the corridor opposite. It is a pow-

ken white frame of the “Madonna Cascade”. The drip from the ceiling created creamy white and brownish lines that dribbled down the brick wall and that go surprisingly well with the colours of the painting of the young female dutch artists Judith Leister, found within the frame. Apparently when the artist saw the ‘damage’ she found it marvelous. Garrard is an artist with a definite feminist bent to her work. This particular picture of young Judith was not a haphazard choice. She was a successful female Dutch artist, but when she died all her paintings were attributed to her male teacher. The Madonna is also important: she is the most represented female figure on earth. The white, thick frame surrounding the damaged canvas is fascinating. It breaks off at the top, springs forward, out into the air and then comes to root itself firmly on the floor, a cascade of white Madonna’s twisting around each other the entire way. Lastly, we enter the dining hall. Inside is a veritable treasure trove of large canvases, by Sandra Fisher, Sarah Cawkwell, Maggie Hambling, and others. Rumor has it that the Hambling (which pictures an Iranian woman in a Burqa carrying a machine gun) was once covered up so as not to offend the sensitivity of some guests but the students immediately protested. Students at Murray Edwards are still immensely fond of the collection. The student bar is another room that should not be missed if you do decide to pay the college a visit. I would even suggest getting a group of art-loving friends together and going for a tour so that you get to see some of the most famous pieces such as “Extase” by Mary Kelly, the piece that launched the collection to begin with. Trust me, you will come out buzzing from the visual kaleidoscope that this collection provides. S. Partarrieu

There is also a piece by the renowned Barbara Hepworth. It seems it was made after the death of her son in a plane crash. It was of such emotional importance to the artist that she requested a copy of it for her tombstone. Walking back towards Skin and Blister, we follow the path through the grounds, past college accommodation, and arrive at what looks essentially like a patch of long unkept grass. That is, until I see the sculpture that resembles a writhing or frolicking cow: “Cow says moo” by Nicola Hicks. Some students tend to find the work quite morbid, but the perky tail, and the four legs pointing to the sky, just make it look like a cow having a good time and lying around on a lawn much like any student in the post-exam period.

erful display, works staring at you, and demanding your attention from every side. The 1960s architecture, its pure lines and white bricks really help bring out each canvas albeit in a warmer way than in a polished and gleaming modern art museum. The second work that caught my eye, perhaps because it was a massive wooden horse, entitled ‘Dobbin’, is the sister work of a foal owned by the Fitzwilliam Museum. The exposure to sunlight has somewhat damaged the material, as well as the colour of some of the other paintings in the corridor, yet this natural ‘aging’ process is one that several artists have not necessarily disliked. The works darken or dry and take on their own life with time. Another ‘fortunate’ accident was the leak of a pipe right above Rose Garrard’s entwined, bro-

of things happening.” The handwritten note alludes to her struggles to keep working despite her ill-health, saying, “At last, I have recaptured the joy of quiet work in this glorious sunshine and a tempo akin to 1930 when one thought one would live forever!” Barbara Hepworth originally loaned a sculpture called ‘Square with Two Circles’ to the college, which was similar to the present Hepworth sculpture, but smaller. This was lost when it was sold in 1967. Kenneth McQuillen wrote to Barbara Hepworth that, for the students, ‘the desolation of an empty plinth finally proved too much’, and, after a particularly raucous Founder’s Feast, they stole bricks from the building site and erected a crude, wobbly version of the missing sculpture. Barbara Hepworth was upset to hear of the loss of the sculpture, writing, “I was devastated when I first heard about squares and 2 circles. I

had grown to think about it as part of Churchill and a link with you all during these long long months of illness which kept me from seeing you. However I have just had cast a new work which I feel would be even better for your wonderful site.” She ends, “Please forgive this note written in bed. I still hope that my broken thigh will support me in a month or two.” The sculpture she suggested as a replacement was “Four Square Walk Through”, which was moved to the vacated plinth. Churchill was a young college at the time of this correspondence and Barbara Hepworth must surely have felt that her work was well suited to an environment which had a sense of itself as helping to build the new, postwar world. Hepworth’s art dealer visited Churchill, and afterwards wrote to Kenneth McQuillen, “Thank you for a wonderful weekend with the eggheads”. She added,

A special bond: Barbara Hepworth and Churchill College

Dame Barbara Hepworth’s artworks have come to seem an integral part of Churchill college, and indeed, the artist herself saw Churchill as the perfect setting for her work. Correspondence in the college archive reveals it was her who suggested that Churchill should house what is now the college’s most famous artwork, “Four Square Walk Through.” Her letters are a poignant insight into the later years of, as she was then considered, the greatest female sculptor of her day. They were written in the 60s, when the college was being built and Barbara Hepworth was suffering from failing health that, at times, kept her bedridden. She developed a friendship with Kenneth McQuillen, the vice-master of Churchill and, in 1968, wrote to him, “One day I hope to see you here [in Cornwall]. The colour of everything seems to be very special this year. The very opposite to the beastliness

“I can just perceive the strength and pleasure it must be to work there [Churchill] and to build there the modern traditions”. Hepworth herself never visited the college, prevented by her poor health. She continued to be beset by problems, becoming consigned to a wheelchair. She died in a fire in her studio in 1975. Four Square Walk Through has remained at Churchill ever since. I.Weinberg


What do Monroe, Hepworth and Winston have in common?

Most Cambridge colleges have an ‘icon’ – their own, instantly recognisable feature that serves as a shorthand for their identity. King’s have their chapel; John’s, the Bridge of Sighs. What springs to mind for Churchill is...?Well, perhaps, for some, nothing at all. But those who know Churchill will undoubtedly be familiar with, as it is known to students, ‘the Hepworth’, a huge, geometric sculpture towering over the college lawns. It forms the centrepiece of the college art collection, which focuses on modernist sculpture. Other notable pieces include Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe prints. ‘The Hepworth’ is officially titled ‘Four Square Walk Through’. Its creator is the famous British sculptor Barbara Hepworth, who cast it from bronze in 1966. It has come to serve as an icon for Churchill, adorning hoodies and memorabilia. In a characteristically relaxed way, Churchill places no restrictions on how close students can get to the sculpture. It frequently serves as a gigantic goalpost, bench and climbing frame. Walking past it to 9am lectures after one memorable Cindies night, I can remember seeing a stolen traffic cone perched on top. It is very much a focal point for college life: students meet at it, sit in it and have team photographs in front of it. The college congregated there to mourn on September 11th. Accompanying ‘Four Square Walk

Through’, Churchill holds an important collection of other Barbara Hepworth’s work. Hepworth was one of the defining figures of British Modernist art in the 1950s. She was the first person in the world to make completely abstract sculptures in contrast to her contemporaries who were making works which were simplified human or natural forms. Churchill College exemplified modernism in its ethos and particularly its architecture and Barbara Hepworth was keen for her artwork to reside there. It was she who proposed that Churchill would be the perfect setting for Four Square Walk Through. As well as Hepworth’s work, the college displays a large collection of modernist art, much of it sculpture. In a commitment to the art movements that were prominent when the college was founded, only abstract art is displayed outside – representational pieces are kept indoors. Large, bold pieces sit as centrepieces in the college courts. The artwork is an important part of Churchill’s image (the alternative prospectus lists ‘Useless Art’ as a feature of the college, alongside ‘Library’ and ‘TV rooms’). Of course, given its status as ‘modern art’, opinions as to its merit vary widely amongst students. When discussing a recently relocated college artwork, one student wrote, “I personally miss the German mineshaft, not because I liked it but because it made everything else look good by

comparison”. If the Hepworth is the most beloved of all the Churchill artworks then surely the most iconic are ten silkscreen prints of Andy Warhol’s famous Marilyn Monroe images, which hang on the walls of the Fellow’s dining room. These famous images have come to evoke Pop Art. Warhol was morbidly interested in death and the cult of celebrity, coining the term “15 minutes of fame”. He began working on the images just after Monroe’s suicide in 1962, exploiting her celebrity to create the striking, colourful prints which have become his best-known work. He used a silkscreen printing method in order to move closer to the techniques used in mass production, rather than methods that were the traditional preserves of the elitist art world. The prints at Churchill are on loan from a private collector. Another feature of Churchill’s art collection, which is perhaps to be expected, is a large collection of depictions of Winston Churchill, as well as some of his own paintings. His frowning image peers down at visitors throughout the college, in portraits, engravings, and busts. I glanced up from typing this article to see yet another bust that I’d never noticed before. Like the abstract art, they are not without controversy. The Nigerian poet and Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka recalled that when at Churchill as a visiting Fellow in 1973 he de-

A Summer Stroll through Jesus College

“Call it Hadrian’s Wall” by Geoffray Clarke

Perhaps more than any medium, the location a sculpture is presented in impacts the viewing experience. In this regard Jesus College is a must see for art lovers in Cambridge. While the college has numerous works accessible only to members of the college, there are more than enough sculptures scattered through the premises to warrant a visit. On display in the bucolic setting of its gardens are numerous works from the permanent collection, in addition to several on loan. The focus of the collection is work by British artists and the sculptures tend towards the abstract and whimsical. Currently on view in Library

Court is “The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth (But Not the Mineral Rights)”, a collection of three large scale dinosaurs first shown at the Royal Academy in 2007. They were fabricated by Jake and Dinos Chapman, English conceptual artists associated with the Young British Artists movement. The brothers have achieved art world infamy for their controversial creations, however in this instance they have resisted the urge to shock. Instead the inspiration was papier mache and the result, a tame recollection of primary school art projects. The material is corten steel, also known as weathering steel, which gains unique rust patterns after prolonged exposure.

The appearance of the beasts is both childlike and modern, which makes for an interesting juxtaposition to the stately old buildings surrounding the installation. Another novel sculpture is The Cricketer, by Barry Flanagan. Appropriately adorning the sports field this tall bronze piece shows a slim hare poised for a punt. Hailing from Wales and a student of St. Martin's School of Art, Flanagan has used the rabbit motif throughout his prolific career. This one adorns the field playfully. A second Flanagan is the quintessential Jesus statute, Bronze Horse, prominently displayed in the First Court. While not especially original, the assertion that one will be sent down for mounting it gives it a distinctive aura. Ultimately, most of the sculptures work particularly well in the setting of the Jesus gardens. “Call it Hadrian's Wall”, by Geoffrey Clarke, assumes the guise of a snake in the grass. Empress, by Danny Lane, would be much duller in a gallery: outside its appearance changes with the light. Spine, by Diane Maclean, mingles with the trees, reaching towards the sky. A stroll through the Jesus campus for the purpose of viewing its collection should not be missed - except in May week when most are tucked away behind plywood to protect them from the festivities. K.C Anderson

“Four Square Walk through” by Barbara Hepworth

scended the steps from hall, past a giant bronze bust of Churchill, ‘the great colonialist’, and was so angry he considered toppling it with ‘an accidental push’. The Churchill collection continues with works by Lynn Chadwick, Bernard Meadows and Dhruva Mistry. Despite a small budget for artworks, the college has man-

aged to acquire an interesting and important collection of art (much of it on loan). ‘The Hepworth’ may be lacking the universal admiration and renown of the King’s College Chapel, but it inspires just as much affection in students, who appreciate its value as an important abstract artwork and post-Cindies climbing frame. I.Weinberg

‘Grace Kelly: Style Icon’ Victoria and Albert Museum Until 26th of September ★★★☆☆

her films. These offered more insights into what exactly made Grace such a fashion inspiration than the clothes on display because of how she wore them and the poise she had. Grace worked closely with designers on film sets to create the right costumes to help her make her characters convincing. Her costumes for both her acting roles and real life do not convince without her in them though. That being said, my favourite outfit of the collection was a simple Yves St. Laurent printed silk shirt-dress. It subtly suggested an elegance and practicality that seemed likely in a woman who clearly juggled so many roles in life. I would recommend the exhibition, as a one-off chance to be able to view some truly amazing outfits but as a means of recapturing the glamour of Grace Kelly it’s probably a better idea to dig her DVDs out. P. Radford

“When I wear anything dramatic I seem to get lost,” claimed Hollywood starlet and real life princess, Grace Kelly when discussing her choice in clothes. However the fact of the matter is that the clothes on show in the ‘Grace Kelly: Style Icon’ exhibit at the V&A, both the simple and the dramatic, seemed to be lost without her. That is not to say the clothes are not beautiful. Stunning ball gowns take up the central space in the exhibition, ranging from floaty creations to dresses so encrusted with jewels it is a wonder she could move in them at all. One Marc Bohan red gown came with a headdress which Grace wore for the Monte Carlo Casino Ball in 1968 – this headdress was so big she had to be transported to the ball sitting on the floor of a van. Your eye cannot help but be drawn to these gowns the minute you enter the exhibition. Also on display were outfits she wore during some of her roles in films such as ‘High Society’ as well as accessories, such as the turban hats and big round sunglasses, that she made iconic. However disembodied from the princess, you realised that clothes do not make the man, or style the icon. The exhibition features two videos playing, one showing snippets from Grace’s life and the other trailers of

Photo: Everett Collection/Rex

Murray Edwards has an awe inspiring collection of 20th C. art by women artists. Paintings and sculptures fill just about every wall, nook and cranny in the college. Unlike the more central colleges, it compensates for its lack of historical pomp with a quiet, friendly feel and over 350 paintings and sculptures which are available to the general public from 10 am until 6 pm daily. As you walk past the array of pigeon holes (stopping to pick up a guide to the collection by the porters lodge) you’ll glimpse something that looks like a gigantic bucket behind the large glass double doors that lead into the main walkway in front of you. This is Judith Cowan’s “Nothing Lasts Forever”. The friendly curator, Ms. Rigler, who has kindly agreed to show me around, rescues me from my rather perplexed state and explains the piece to me. The whole installation is perfectly balanced. If you lean over and look into the bucket you’ll see some large rocks which carefully distribute the weight, creating a delicate equilibrium. Moving one of those rocks would cause the entire thing to collapse. Thankfully, Amanda adds, they found this out just before they attempted to clean the work! As we carry on walking, I don’t know where to look. Every piece is completely different, and inviting. Amanda points out a beautiful, colourful piece, just left of the entrance to the Vivien Stewart room, full of gold thread and endless variations of blue, by Miriam Schapiro titled “Madness of Love.” It was donated by an American couple who became infatuated with the Murray Edwards collection. The entire collection is, in fact made up of loans and donations, and despite not having an acquisitions budget to buy select pieces, it has a very precise aim: to collect, display and support the work of female 20th C. artists. The collection began at first with a more feminist perspec-



An Afternoon at Murray Edwards’s Art collection


Thursday, June17, 2010

Photo: Jesus College, Cambridge

Have you ever “found” something when you were not really looking for it? Or met someone, perhaps an old friend, who you did not expect to see? Such glad happenings are examples of “serendipity,” which the Oxford English Dictionary (or OED) defines as “the faculty of making happy and unexpected discoveries by accident [or] the fact or an instance of such a discovery.” This nuanced word contains the idea of finding something you were not even searching for, or had given up on searching for, having lost it once before, and not knowing when you would see it again, if ever. “Finding” anything without looking for it has a sort of fairy-tale quality. This is quite appropriate, considering that the OED credits the writer and antiquarian Horace Walpole (17171797) with finding it without really looking for it, in an ancient Indian fairy story, “The Three Princes of Serendip.” Incidentally, and not surprisingly, the word draws its origins from “Serendip,” an old name for Sri Lanka. In it, three princes are sent by their father on a far journey to test their wisdom and fitness to rule. In a letter to a diplomat-friend in 1754, Walpole describes “serendipity,” in its first recorded usage in English: “as their highnesses travelled, they were always making discoveries, by accident and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of,” such as how they could tell an awful lot about a camel (what it had for breakfast, what it was carrying, and other camel-related information) just judging by its tracks. This “accidental sagacity,” as Walpole puts it, is worthy of Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Father Brown or Lord Peter Wimsey. “For you must observe,” continues Walpole, “that no discovery of a thing you are looking for comes under this description.” Indeed – finding what one is looking for can happen anytime – finding what you are not looking for, or have given up on finding again, now that is serendipity, or, perhaps, Providence. I myself hope to be more of a “serendipitist,” and develop a keener sense of suspecting serendipity, and hope you do, too, now that term is finished and the summer well-nigh upon us. My MPhil also being done, this columnist will be heading home, back to Seattle in the United States, and to, he prays, more serendipity. He is grateful to his friends back home and new friends here for letting him humor them with his etymologies, and wishes to thank his readers, for, well, reading. If you have any final word-related queries, suggestions, tips, hints or etymological thoughts, please write to Until we meet again, take care!

Thursday, June17, 2010

Photo: The Hepworth Estate



Photo: New Hall Art Collection





I’d imagined that I’d be in an odd position reviewing Measure for Measure, a play I’ve probably read four times, but never had the chance to see performed. Perhaps I’m not so odd – during the interval, I overheard someone (well, I didn’t have a plus-one to chat to) say they were pleased to finally hear a half-forgotten list of A Level quotes recited onstage. And

Photo: Hannah Bohm-Duchen



Good For You

ADC Theatre Mainshow 7.45pm Tues 8th-Sat 19th June Owen/Young/Moran/Ross/Ashenden/

Akushie dir. Liam Williams and Daran Johnson

★★★★☆ With Dr Gillian McKeith as living testimony, things that are ‘Good For You’ are not always enjoyable. Fortunately this show is: these five vibrant young comedians prove that Cambridge comedy is in the pink at the dawn of a new decade. The best of these offerings are original in conception and elegant in structure; clever without being offputtingly ‘Cambridge’. An actor waiting to audition decides that Othello could be greatly improved by a character called Dirk Lavender. MTV commandeer the judicial process to make Law a little bit more Street. A sobering look at ‘Booze Britain’ turns into a concatenation of comedic reveals. An advertising team struggle to come up with a concept to sell the mysterious ‘Frink’. All of these glory in the tradition of sketch comedy whilst exploiting the potential of video and voice-over.


There are weaker points as well though. A brainstorming session at Innocent smoothies goes on too long, and features the inexcusable pun ‘fartons’. The ‘Dad-mate’ is essentially a protracted and predictable riff on the ‘I shagged your mum’ theme. Perhaps these dips are inevitable, though, at this preview stage – hopefully they will be smoothed over before the show is unleashed on the country at large. A series of snappy shorts did much to keep the pace up. It was one of these that provided my favourite moment of the evening. A hush fell over the audience as we watched archive footage of one of Hitler’s speeches; the pay-off was all the more satisfying after that delicious discomfiture. This was an obsidian comedic gem that would not be out of place in a Chris Morris creation. If I could suggest one way in which the show might be tweaked, it would be to move away from the positive implications of the title, and bring out more of this dark side. To put it in smoothie terms, with just a few more mordant blackberries and a few less amiable mangoes I could happily sip Good For You all summer long. Giulia Galastro


describes as his ‘notorious rigid[ity]’, both he and Escala (the equally impressive Victoria Rigby) make it clear that they’re nervous about their newfound authority. When Angelo’s values are finally tested by his desire for the nun Isabella, Haines manages that rare feat, a character transition which is striking yet totally comprehensible. His offer to pardon Isabella’s brother in return for sex manages to be curiously tender while still bearing the signs of rape. I’m not entirely convinced how-


The Cambridge Arts Theatre 7.45pm Tues 15th-Sat 19th June Jonathan Harvey dir. Hettie Macdonald

★★★☆☆ Presenting a narrative sweep from 1962 to the present day, Jonathan Harvey’s bold new play packs a powerful punch, despite an unsteady beginning. Through the personal stories of various characters, Canary charts a history of gay Britain: struggles that gay men have experienced over the years from aversion therapy and the scare of AIDS to YouTubeposted homophobic hate crimes. Despite the epic nature of the piece, there are only eight members of the cast, who are mostly required to play several roles each. It is testament to the ability of the actors and the creative team that they are able to play such distinctly different characters from scene to scene. Jodie McKnee deserves recognition for her clearly defined characters and comic timing in her various roles, and Sean Gallagher is impressively unrecognisable between his

ever by Keith’s interpretation of the other plot strand, in which Vincenzio, Angelo’s absent boss, goes undercover as a friar to spy on his deputy. I don’t want to dismiss the skill with which Josh Stamp-Simon switches between the character’s dual roles and embraces any potential for humour – but occasionally the disguise is an all-tooconventional excuse for laughs and the forced technique of having Vincenzio remove his friar’s glasses whenever he discusses his Machiavellian intent ignores the fact that he is often in

and out of character simultaneously. Despite interference from helicopters, passers-by and May Ball soundchecks from St Cat’s, the performance is never anything but audible and engrossing. This is what May Week shows are all about: a great way to spend a sunny afternoon that adds to your memories of Cambridge in summer. A top-notch cast under inventive direction has managed to produce something quite special. Jack Belloli



roles as the camp reality TV presenter Russell and aversion therapy supervisor Dr McKinnon. In a play in which the audience are required to follow the traversing narrative shifts in time, the costumes of designer Liz Ashcroft are successful in immediately defining the characters and their environment.

Audience comment: “I loved the hilarious Margaret Thatcher and Mary Whitehouse impersonations.” The set design however, is a bland characterless raked curve which could be re-used for almost any other epic narrative. Sometimes, especially in some of the earlier scenes with only a few characters onstage, the wide open expanse of the set also dwarfs the actors; lighting used to break up the space into smaller sections, would have easily prevented this. Transitions between scenes are quick due to the pacy professionalism of the cast, and because of the minimalism of the set design. Director Hettie Macdonald presents beautiful and searing images in her direction to match the


flights of fancy of Harvey’s script: the wedding scene is poignantly lyrical, and the opening of the second half is delightfully riotous and anarchic in contrast with the measured feeling of the production throughout. Unfortunately, Harvey’s play revolves around too weak a narrative premise that does not have enough substance to support the historical ambition of the entire play; a real shame considering how wonderfully the play resolves. Oliver O’Shea

Photo: Helen Warner


what a pleasure it was: Richard Keith’s production reminded me just how complex and rewarding this play is. Aside from a table, chair and cloth, the play’s only set is the natural surroundings of Queens’ Cloister Court. Keith exploits this backdrop as much as possible, having characters sing from upstairs windows and hide behind trees. If anything, I’d want him to do even more with the play-space, pushing it back into the cloisters for scenes in which characters draw apart from or overhear each other. His comparatively blank canvas allows various simple gestures – the clutching of an official sash, the removing of veils and glasses, the taking of photos – to stand out as clever motifs. The actors are universally strong, differentiating and rounding out characters whom I’d read as being fairly similar or stereotypical. I was surprised to hear my favourite Shakespearean innuendo, ‘groping for trouts in a peculiar river’, rendered as an embarrassed euphemism by the bawd Pompey (Paul Merchant) – but this helps to contrast with the confident (and gloriously camp) brotheltalk from Andrew Brock’s Lucio. Special mention has to go to Simon Haines as Angelo, the deputy of Vienna. Despite what the programme

Photo: Hannah Bohm-Duchen

William Shakespeare dir. Richard Keith


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Measure for Measure

Queen’s College Cloisters 4.00pm Wed 15th-Sat 19th June



me... Entertaining and moving domestic-epic


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Emmanuel College 7.45pm Tues 15th-Thurs 17th June


A Little Night Music equally matched with a stunning vocal performance:probably the most accomplished of the afternoon. Proving just as competent and at home in a difficult piece and part was King as Desiree. Swanning in with all the elegance and vitality one would expect, her biting wit and smooth low tones made for a well-rounded performance. Sad to say these three are the only three who could be heard at every moment in both spoken dialogue and song. While some of the cast were competent singers and only lacked enough ‘umph’ to be heard, the rest were unfortunately full of ‘umph’ but lacking in vocal quality. It is, however, fair to say that had the production taken place in a proscenium arch theatre Danielle Phillips and Sarah Wynne would be promptly praised for brilliant performances; on the day their brilliance only existed somewhat in mime. You will find many ‘wanky’ directors in Cambridge talk about directing as being simply about telling a

sentation of the musical’s ability although it is a courageous attempt. Regardless of the title’s assertion to a certain time of day, the glorious sunshine and beautiful gardens of Emmanuel College make for a wonderful setting. With not a cloud in the sky and a rarely-seen string heavy orchestra to the right, the opening aesthetic is a promising one. The start is slow though and the audience is more than relieved when the highly-talented Jonathan Padley steps out with all the smarm and pomp needed to play the misguided husband, Frederick Agerman. Padley was a joy to watch with his comic timing and comforting projection which worked constantly against the wind, the orchestra and the Emmanuel freshers diving in and out of the college pool! Two others worthy of mention are Andrew-Mark Hanraham as the philandering Count Carl-Magnus and Livia King as the delectable Desiree. Hanraham’s well thought out characterisation and clarity of speech were

Sondheim and Wheeler


Photo: Patrick Wollner

From the team who brought you Sweeney Todd, Sondheim and Wheeler’s A Little Night Music is a masterpiece of musical theatre. The plot, which surrounds the folly of the upper classes as they search one another in order to find, lose and regain love, is, as expected, classic material for Sondheim who in all his work highlights the ridiculousness and vulnerability of those in love. This musical is just as ruthless and the music, lyrics and book ignite the story into a grand quasi-operetta, smouldering in excellence. The CUMTS/G&S production has a damn good go at demonstrating this but falls short in too many places to be called excellent. Unfortunately one cannot consider it a true repre-

story. Well if that is the case then I suppose James Hallett does the job, although one is inclined to argue that in such a well crafted work Sondheim and Wheeler have already in the mere composition of the play given us the story on the proverbial plate. My main concern with this production is that it lacked the movement and picturesque sensibility needed to give us the backdrop of the culture of manners and to bring out that epic quality in Sondheim’s music. Suggesting that the play is made up of only “great songs and pleasant froth” which Hallett is “right to leave it at” is frankly an injustice to the writing itself. Had handsome well-choreographed moving tableaus been executed in numbers like ‘the night waltz’, ‘a weekend in the country’ and ‘themorous life’, we might have been on our feet applauding a courageous production seldom seen on the Cambridge musical scene. Ben Kavanagh



Clare College Gardens 4.00pm Wed 16th-Fri 18th June Shakespeare

★★★☆☆ Henry IV, Part 1 is an ambitious choice of play for a May week production. Although tonally far removed from Henry V – a play rife with battle scenes and a solemn chorus – Henry IV is nevertheless, by virtue of being a history play, hardly considered mindless entertainment. It seems, at any rate, to sit a little awkwardly within a schedule otherwise filled with garden parties, gratuitous eating, and frolicking in punts. That is, until Falstaff staggers (or, more accurately, pops out of a bin in this production) onto the stage... The Falstaff of this production (Will Seaward) was true to Shakespeare’s: large, loud and loveable. Exploding



Henry IV

from a bin at the opening in order to fold himself awkwardly back into it at the end of the scene, he dominated the stage from the very beginning. Particularly memorable is the play-acting scene between himself and Hal in Act Two, in which Falstaff’s impression of Henry’s American accent was met with widespread audience laughter. The other actors, unfortunately, were not quite so consistently convincing. Henry’s reliance upon the script reduced his anger to the level of careful reading coupled with occasional fist motions in the general direction of his subjects. Hotspur (Lawrence Dunn), whose rage and aggression was more persuasive, often failed to face the audience and, as such, teetered on the edge of inaudibility in several scenes. Hal (Ben Mortimer), in contrast, delivered his lines clearly but perhaps underplayed the Machiavellian potential




of the Shakespeare character. That said, the battle scene between Hotspur and Hal in the final Act brought together the two characters effectively, starting with the duo eyeing each other from opposite ends of the garden, and ending with them hugging at Hotspur’s moment of death. The use of stage space in this scene emphasised both the rivalry and essential affinity between the two characters. Henry IV is, overall, a good production with which to round off May Week. Falstaff does, after all, embody the spirit of British revelry like no other character from the theatrical world. This particular Falstaff also distracted attention away from some of the oddities of this production, notably its binary costume design, which inexplicably juxtaposes the Renaissance dress of Henry and Falstaff with Hotspur’s leather jacket. The production is otherwise a faithful rendition of Henry IV, Part 1



choreography and as such it is appropriate that the character commanding the greatest share of audience attention is not its eponymous monarch or even his heir, but rather its beloved old knight. Concepts treated with a degree of reverence in later history plays – that of ‘honour’, for instance, reduced to the synonym ‘air’ by Falstaff – collapse under Falstaff’s insistent deflation, and all in the spirit of (May Week) festivity. Let the show go on! Mary Dragun


Toby Jones, President of the Fletcher Players, tells TCS about launch of their fundraising campaign to renovate the Corpus Playroom

The Fletcher Players will kick off the Corpus Playroom Regeneration Project this Saturday evening with a dinner at Corpus attended by actor Hugh Bonneville (Notting Hill, Tomorrow Never Dies). This project will hopefully raise funds to entirely revamp the Corpus Playroom, one of our most beloved theatrical institutions. The Corpus Playroom Regeneration project is being launched in response to fears of a potential threat to the Playroom’s continuity if its shabby condition is allowed to continue. The only way to really secure the Playroom’s future is to ensure that the space is properly renovated and maintained. Anyone who has used the Playroom will know that it has a deserved reputation as being one of the most run down student theatre spaces in Cambridge, as well as one of the most loved. The new Fletcher Players Committee of 2010/2011 has vowed to remedy the former and enhance the latter. This summer we hope to rebuild the rake, re-do the seats and replace the carpet. We are just £3,000 short of our £15,000 target for this term which would enable us to carry out the work planned for this summer. And the plans do not stop there: eventually we hope to renovate the whole of the backstage area too building a bar in what is now the green room. Full details can be seen at www. If you would like to support us and attend the dinner this Saturday 19th June, hand in a cheque for £35 (student price) addressed to the Fletcher Players to Corpus Christi College’s porters lodge. Donations are also welcome and also should be sent to the college’s porters lodge with a little note on the back saying that you would like to gift aid it. In the words of our patron Stephen Fry: “Do please consider dipping into your pockets and helping support the continuation of a marvellous institution, the place where the heart of student drama beats most proudly. Don’t let it die.”




Thursday, June 17, 2010

Doctor Doctor I think I’m a pair of curtains!

Michelle Brook visits the Junction in search of a comedy cure from Dr. Phil Hammond Dr Phil Hammond: comedian, radio-show presenter, TV star, writer and part-time GP met me at the stage door of the Junction this Tuesday, in a scene reminiscent of a GP’s waiting room, if slightly more surreal. As I hobbled towards him on my crutches, he asked what I had done to my leg, if I’d had it looked at, and how I had injured myself. I seized the opportunity to ask one of Britain’s more famous doctors (his reputation places him just behind Goldacre, Wakefield, Who and House; only two of which I would ask for medical assistance!) for advice about my sprained ankle. “Wriggle it around” he said, instantaneously providing more information than the doctor I saw in A & E after a three hour wait on Saturday night. Although “it was almost expected of you to do medicine if you gained good A-levels in science” Hammond says that he actually became a doctor for a number of reasons which included fulfilling his own father’s financially frustrated desire to read medicine as well as a more desperate bid to increase his attractiveness. Being ginger, freckled and wearing glasses, he “needed all the help he could get”, he tells me. Luckily for the then Mr Hammond, he ended up at Girton amid a 90% female student population. Whilst junior doctors Dr Phil and friend Tony Gardner performed as the comedy duo “Struck Off and Die”, providing black hospital-

themed humour. In Dr Phil’s words the couple did so “naively thinking it could change the system, but subsequently realized that act just generated laughs”. In 1992 “The Struck Off and Die Junior Doctors Alliance” (SOAD JDA), Dr Phil pronounces it Sod-ya, was born. A political party fielding a single candidate, Dr Phil, against the then Health S e c retary W i l liamWa l d e grave, it aimed to raise awareness of junior doctors working conditions “up to 120 hours a week, often with 18 hour shifts, which would leave junior doctors dangerously tired”. Dr Phil is rather scathing of the main political parties, saying that “Labour had gotten the patient waiting list down, but set too many targets”, and is definitely of the belief that the £110 billion Labour pushed into the NHS didn’t give the patient value for money. This is one area in which his interview persona differs from his comedic stage personality. Admitting in private that “the optimist [in me] likes the idea of politicians working together, but the cynic in me worries it just won’t work”, on stage he seemed rather more scathing of the coalition, saying that “it wasn’t terribly New Politics, mostly Oxbridge educated, pretty posh

people”. After meeting the man himself, Hammond’s gig definitely did not disappoint. Walking onto the stage at the Junction, bare except for a red-lit desk containing a stethoscope, medical bag, and other odds and ends found lurking around a doctor’s desk, Dr Phil regaled his audience with medical stories. He mixed tales from his GP training with socio-political comment providing both enlightenment (I would advise taking a broody girlfriend to see him; having heard some of his gynecological anecdotes I’m adamant I’m never giving birth!) and discussion with the audience on a wide range of topic including the legalisation of drugs. Although Dr Phil claims to have saved only a single life: the result of mocking Angus Deyton’s mole on Have I Got News For You, which led a viewer to visit his GP who diagnosed his suspicious mole as cancerous, I’m sure this is an under-

estimate. Dr Phil litters his set with tit-bits of health-care information. “I’m sure someone in a cardboard box doesn’t check their balls once a month after a warm shower” he tells the audience with concern before moving on to tales of farmers thrusting turnips in certain orifices, “well, we’re told to have 5 portions of fruit or veg a day”! Communicating health-care advice in a manner liable t o s t a y with audie n c e m e m bers, Dr Phil does not patronize: he himself admits to having had an STD. Incredibly frank Dr Phil’s life philosophy and the theme of his tour seems to come down to “learning how to pleasure ourselves in a safe and sustainable way”, balancing pleasure and responsibility. Some of the material in his set definitely provided inspiration. If you want to eat lots of cake, Dr Phil advises trying out “The Wheelbarrow”- the most calorie burning of all sexual positions! His book “Sex, Sleep or Scrabble” continues this theme, providing answers to questions from the useful, “What should I expect from an internal examination?”, to the bizarre. Don’t look at the section on bladder tennis! As such, I’m sure the doctor does more for public health than any government-run advertising

Speak out for Disabled Access

campaign. If more GP’s were as accessible, honest and open as Dr Phil Hammond appears to be, I’m sure the NHS and general public would be in better health. He provides a human face to medicine, is upfront about sexual health issues (covering rarely-discussed topics that range from the risk of heart attacks during sex, Herpes’ bad press and the act of self-pleasuring with ketchup bottles), and encourages us to ask questions of our doctors, rather than blindly accepting their word. His tales show us that doctors are fallible and only human. Providing intelligent humour whilst casually nudging the audience towards better health in an almost imperceptible manner, his set also gently derides alternative medicines such as homeopathy and crystal-healing in a far less angry manner than Ben Goldacre. I left the gig and interview knowing that Dr Phil was a likeable man, full of common-sense, who doesn’t take himself or life too seriously. He is a man I would utterly trust to be my GP, someone who would, and does, fight for his principles. And, as you would imagine from a comedian, he has a pretty mean sense of humour. He’s near the end of his tour now, but if you can catch him, do. And, if you happen to be seen limping off into the night as I was, he might offer you a lift home. Not something I can say for all comedians, or even doctors, I’ve met.

Cambridge University

Students’ Union

The University is considering whether to remove the disabled access lift to the University Common Room

We must protect accessibility and equality in our university Contact your tutors, supervisors, lecturers and Senior Tutors and urge them to vote “NO” in the ballot WHAT NOW? • Download a model letter from the CUSU website and send it to academics • Get in touch with the CUSU President for more information - Get involved to make sure our University supports equality and accessibility!


Thursday, June 17, 2010



Who loves the sun? Not everyone: Spend the summer in the dark with James Garner and Shane Murray

“Callin’ out around the world, are you ready for a brand new beat? Summer’s here and the time is right for dancin’ in the streets” Martha Reeves, 1964

Bollocks to that. Sly has written, directed and starred in a new movie. And, anyway, any fule kno that the only way to cool down is a blockbuster flick jammed with red hot stars, sizzling repartee and flame heat explosions. The legions of publicists in daily contact with the TCS Film Team assure us that this is the greatest summer season in the history of motion pictures since at least last summer, and who are we to disagree? We love you Sly! If there’s anything that Hollywood knows, it’s that the easiest way to make money is to make sequels, spin-offs, and re-makes of something that’s already successful. You don’t need to put any thought or effort into it, and the returns are practically guaranteed. While we’d like to see Hollywood studios proved massively wrong, the public have already, as always, risen to the challenge of being as predictable and gullible as expected. Already on release in the states, the prospect of ever-morediminishing returns and reviews that could be kindly described as “mixed” proved no obstacle to the desire of film-goers to see Shrek Forever After (2nd July). It has already made an astonishing $285m, but there is at least the promise that this is the final film in the tired series. Similarly, they made the lazy assumption that the crowds would come out for re-makes of two fondly remembered, but not actually that good franchises from the 1980s. Yet again, Hollywood’s insulting view of humanity has been proved correct, as The A-Team, and The Karate Kid (both 28th July) have made $45m and $68m in their opening weeks respectively. In fairness, the latter has received decent reviews, even if it is a facsimile of the original, while the former will no doubt be fun, even if it is condescending, pandering fun. However, there are some more worthy sequels, led by Toy Story 3 (23rd July). Actually, it’s the only truly worthy sequel, but we’re also fairly excited about Predators (9th July), partly because the original was a great film, partly because of producer Robert Rodriguez’s promise that it’ll be the Aliens to the original’s Alien. It’s also got a great cast of hard men, featuring The Shield’s Walton Goggins, Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo, and Adrien Brody’s nose. Toy Story 3, meanwhile, is practi-

cally guaranteed to be superb, given Pixar’s track record, and the fact that it has yet to make an unnecessary sequel. Moving onto the attention shy action genre, M. Night Shyamalan returns with The Last Airbender (13th August), an adaptation of a Nickelodeon animated series. As far as I can tell the plot is conceptualisation of the Earth, Wind and Fire song Boogie Wonderland. This is Shyamalan’s follow-up to the execrable The Happening and thus the cinematic equivalent of Rob Green’s next match; it can’t be as bad as the last outing and yet you really, really don’t want to watch. I didn’t know what the film Takers (17th September) was about so I watched the trailer. “We’re takers, gents, that’s what we do for a living…” explains The Wire alumnus Idris Elba. I still wasn’t quite clear. Thankfully after a dramatic pause Elba continued…“We take.” Oh, I

see, they’re some kind of takers. As for the innovative plot, according to Wikipedia, “a group of bank robbers who specialize in spectacular robberies are pulled into one last job by a recently paroled cohort, only to be pitted against a hardboiled detective who interrupts their heist.” This daring construction took the efforts of a novelist, three writers to adapt the story and a further two who worked on the screenplay. It stars Canadian mannequin Hayden Christensen, Aussie berk Paul Walker, and woman beater Chris Brown. None of this augers well. Fortunately there is also The Expendables (20th August). There is a lot of early Oscar buzz around this one with acting nods expected across a cast that includes Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis and Arnold

Schwarzenegger. A record $85 million was spent on production expenses including gym fees, 72 oz. steaks and nandrolone. This augers extremely well. Otherwise there is Knight and Day, an action-comedy starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Bizarrely neither plays a character called Knight or Day. It would have been a horrible title had that been the case; instead, it is a nonsensical one. Diaz encounters Cruise’s badass secret agent on a blind date. Action and comedy ensues. The only plot holes I can envisage are that Cruise isn’t a bad-ass and secret agents don’t go on blind dates. By the misogynistic standards of Hollywood both Cruise, 47 and Diaz, 37 are ten years too old but despite insiders predicting boxoffice apocalypse for Knight and Day, the trailer looks brisk and fun. When Tom Cruise passed on the

part of Salt, it went to Angelina Jolie. That’s Hollywood, kids, and Salt is another pretty standard feature relying on a big star to bring in the crowds. The above represent the expected, tried and tested formula devised by studios for box office success, but there’s also a raft of big-hitting indie pictures coming out, searching for the intellectual (or pseudo-intellectual) cinema-goers’ money. Chief amongst these has to be Inception (16th July), the latest film from Christopher Nolan, who has a good claim to be the best new filmmaker of this century. He’s certainly one of the most consistent: since 2000, he’s made Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige, and The Dark Knight, all excellent films, with great action direction, and a twisting, tricky plot structure. Because of its pedigree, Inception therefore has to be the most anticipated film of the summer and it also has an intriguing premise (it’s about stealing ideas from people’s dreams) and a superb cast (Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy), meaning it’s a must see. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (25th August), on the other hand, will be appealing to a different and smaller niche. Starring Michael Cera as Michael Cera, it’s based on a series of ‘alternative’ comics and is about a lovable slacker, who has to fight his new girlfriend’s seven evil exes. Judging from the trailer, it’s going to be irrepressibly silly, at once being in love with and mocking comic book and video game conventions. It’s deeply, deeply geeky, but it is directed by Edgar Wright of Hot Fuzz fame, so we’re using that as our excuse. Amongst the conventional summer fare, some of the most highly rated festival films are coming out over the next few months to battle with blockbusters and the World Cup. Francis Ford Coppola’s latest experiment, Tetro (25th June), continues a welcome return to form and activity that began with 2007’s Youth without Youth. Meanwhile, Splice (23rd July), a sci-fi horror about the perils of cloning, picked up plaudits at Sundance. However, we’ll have to wait until September for the release of the hillbilly noir Winter’s Bone, which won the Grand Jury Prize there, and has since received rave reviews. On the other hand, you couldn’t release a film called Winter’s Bone in the summer. So, ultimately, if you take anything from this article it should be that Sly is back, and he’s stacked. And that’s a memo.




Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Cambridge Student May Ball Round-Up We bring you the verdict on the headliners so far...

JESUS: Mr Hudson + Two Door Cinema Club up-and-coming indie band that flirt with electro, and an interesting debut album, this performance had a lot of potential. None of which was fulfilled. Most of the songs sounded like variations of the same riffs and the set merged together. This was partly due to the poor sound balance, which resulted in frontman Trimble’s soft voice being almost completely lost, but TDCC lacked the charisma and presence of Mr Hudson and his crew. Singles ‘Something Good Can Work’ and ‘Undercover Martyn’ showed some promise, and are worth a listen on record, but overall this was an extremely disappointing show. Instead, a couple of other acts playing Jesus May Ball deserve a mention. Clean Bandit, an exciting mix of the Chatto Quartet (three violins and a cello), jonwandeck on synths and MC Ssegamic providing vocals, raced through various tracks, including ‘Thong Song’ and Rihanna’s ‘Rude Boy’. ‘Stand By Me’ was a particular highlight, although MC Ssegamic’s vocals were simply stunning throughout. Final mention goes to Truly Medley Deeply, a trio of guitar, keyboard and mandolin, who managed to merge MGMT’s ‘Time To Pretend’ into ‘Hallelujah’ and then ‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’, which had the whole room dancing and signing. Other numbers included ‘Bring It All Back’ and ‘Mambo Number 5’. Possibly the most fun music performance of the night. Phoebe Amoroso

CLARE: Faithless + Tinie Tempah Amidst the Arabian Nights-themed revelry, camels and fire dancing at Clare May Ball, Tinie Tempah and Faithless took to the main stage to perform outstanding sets that set the tone perfectly for post-exam decadence. London’s Tinie Tempah played just before midnight, and he came out strong in front of a lively audience who only warmed to him as the show went on. In his short set he played his two recent Top 10s – ‘Pass Out’ and ‘Frisky’ – both of which got the crowd chanting (“would you risk

it for a chocolate biscuit?”) and raving in the breakdown. He also performed his 2006 track Wifey which had a great groove live. On top of Tinie’s great party tracks it was his warmth and enthusiasm as a performer that turned the set in to something special; he was intimate with the audience and genuinely excited to be providing the soundtrack to post-exam indulgence. His banter and charisma drew the crowd in and when his short set was over they were all shouting for more. However the set finished without an encore leav-

Chart topper Ellie Goulding shone at John’s Concentrating on the food and drink at John’s May Ball proved to be a good idea, but in unexpected ways. Ellie Goulding, the main act of the night, was rather disappointing. She showed up almost half an hour late, only after the crowd started booing at the lack of her presence. The set must have consisted of only 6 or 7 songs: her set finished fifteen minutes early. On top of that, she was obviously miming her words and rather placed her focus on successfully lifting her top while singing some saucy lyrics. Overall, it was a disappointing performance from somebody who is a talented singersongwriter. Other acts on the main stage proved to be better. In fact, the best acts were forced off stage because of ‘time constraints’ due to setting up and sound checks, which really ought to have been better organised. Clean Bandit drew a larger crowd during the course of their set, where their versions of popular R’n’B hits accompanied by entertaining dance

routines from the string quartet in between their fantastically executed performance skills really got the crowd going. Tempting as it was to take a break from the sweatiness from crowd, I’m glad to have stayed on to watch Something Simple: they were by far the best act of the night, giving us a taster of their jazz-funk sound world topped by a fantastic vocalist and MC. The beauty of a continuous set was to be witnessed as each song smoothly moulded into each other beautifully, demonstrating a high level of musical understanding: a good bassline and soloing was a reason to really dance my shoes off at the front without caring what anybody else thought of me. I certainly picked up a demo they were distributing and am looking forward to hearing more of them soon. Other major names at the ball included opera singer Anne Murray, who was accompanied by the Cambridge University Chamber Orches-

ing everybody keen to continue the party with Faithless. Veterans Faithless, also hailing from London, had a lot to live up to following Tinie, and to Ball-goers’ delight they didn’t disappoint. The group played an energised set including crowd pleasers like the massive ‘Insomnia’ as well as tracks from their new album including ‘Sun to Me’ and ‘Not Going Home’. After listening to some Faithless tracks in the run up to the Ball I was concerned that they might be too downbeat for the event. On the night, those worries were immediately cast aside as the group performed everything with big electronic dance beats

which were perfect for the alcoholfuelled crowd to jump around to. Front man Maxi Jazz had an impressive stage presence as he rhymed in front of abstract projected video images and the show was further enhanced by the live percussion which added great texture and rhythm to the set (often in the form of cowbell). Despite losing the crowd a bit in the middle with some extended lesser-known jams, Faithless left on a high note by producing a heady atmosphere. The pre-event hype combined with Tinie’s great set meant their act had to be good – they pulled it out of the bag May Week-style. Rhys Cater

Photo: Helen Libson

Jesus May Ball is renowned for boasting an impressive line-up – the Go Team and VV Brown headlined last year, and The Feeling and Pigeon Detectives making appearances in earlier years. This year’s big name grab was Mr Hudson, previously Mr Hudson & The Library (a more fitting name for Cambridge perhaps?) and now a solo act boasting collaborations with Kanye West and N-Dubz. And although sadly Kanye West didn’t put in a guest appearance, this did nothing to dampen the performance. Mr Hudson proved he could put on show, and a very good one at that. Mr Hudson got off to a somewhat awkward start, swaggering on stage and oozing arrogance somewhat above his level of commercial – I mean, musical – success. Yet a couple of songs in and the show began to take off. Mr Hudson and his band play eminently danceable material that is carried by his clear-cut voice, and the fact that it is very catchy, making it perfect for drunken singalongs. He also endeared himself by peppering his songs with references to the River Cam and Grantchester. It was a short set of no more than 40 minutes but the energy never let up. Set-closer and most well-known single ‘Supernova’ was a triumph. His music hardly pushes the boundaries of originality, but the performance was perfect for a May Ball headlining set. Following up on the main stage were Two Door Cinema Club. An

tra (CUCO). Though a cheesy selection of classic arias, the performance was nonetheless well executed as expected, making it a thoroughly enjoyable in the formal setting of John’s Hall. CUCO’s latter performance with Ted Blakely however ruined the good spirits of classical music produced earlier in the night: whoever allowed the idea to finance the fusion of two different pieces of music into one had made a terrible aesthetic mistake. Other acts who deserve a special mention include Sampleforce, who did a fantastic DJ set in the dance tent towards the end of the ball. The Free Tenors, consisting of three talented singers who have exercised their musical talents elsewhere during their time at Cambridge, brought us a unique set of comical operatic arrangements. With rumours flying around that the footlights have taken immediate interest in their work, we hope to be hearing more of their musical renditions of ‘Gap Yah’. MS


Thursday, June 17, 2010


CAIUS: Toploader + Grandmaster Flash (DJ) + Hot Chip (DJ)


Introducing... Marcus Foster Who: London born Royal College of Art student Genre: Singer/Songwriter

Headlined by crowd-pleasers Toploader and DJ sets from the iconic Grandmaster Flash and electropop favourites Hot Chip (pictured), the Caius May Ball soundtrack hit the spot with a combination of definitive acts of the 80s, 90s and now. The runup with bands Look! Stranger and Teenagers in Tokyo provided fun, catchy background music to queuing for burgers and excitedly finishing glasses of champagne, but the night really kicked off with an hour-long set from Toploader, which proved to be the start pistol for a night of excellent music. The performance predictably peaked with iPod staple ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’, which was met with a euphoric response from the crowd. There was a definite air of mob mentality triggered by that chiming introduction, and I suspect that anyone

who at the time complained that they didn’t like the song would have run the risk of being ritually stoned. “Everybody here is out of sight!” we wailed, and we meant it. Everyone that was there in the tent at an all night party, all decorated in finery, was united by that life-soundtrack moment. Those of us who had previously considered Toploader a one-hitwonder were gladly proven wrong with a string of catchy and powerfully delivered songs, which saw frontman Joe Washbourn belting out ‘Just Hold On’, eyes screwed tight, sweat dripping to form a pool at his feet. The seminal hiphop icon Grandmaster Flash, took the party back to basics, scratching and backspinning through a thoroughly danceable playlist of 80s and 90s pop and hiphop classics. It was a tough act

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for Hot Chip to follow, but, fronted by the endearing Alexis Taylor, they did not disappoint, beeping and dropping through an upbeat set of accessible techno and electropop. Headlining two DJ sets was a risky move, but was probably saved by the fact that GM Flash’s set was really an end in itself. Yes, a live band set from Hot Chip would have been probably twice as good, but at the time, dancing like crazy, this didn’t occur to me. The night may have peaked early with the perfection of literally ‘Dancing In The Moonlight’, but the fact that everyone for most of the evening believed they were the best dancer in the place, is truly a testament to its success. Sophie Barnes

Prepare yourself for an unashamedly effusive review. London born singer songwriter Marcus Foster, unsigned and relatively unsung, is the greatest treasure of the contemporary folk and blues scene. Acoustic guitar, banjo, violin, double bass and, most significantly, vocals. Oh, the voice of him! Earnest, soulful and utterly unpretentious scrappiness exudes from every considered word. None are wasted. Perfectly apt descriptions and truly deep reaching existential reflections, the quality of which many artists could hang an entire career on, appear in almost every song. The Bob Dylan influence does not go unnoticed, but his music always avoids being detrimentally derivative. Since the appearance of the despairing Let Me Sign (which was, incidentally, intended initially as a joke) in Twilight, sung by the wavering blues of Robert Pattinson himself, Marcus Foster has garnered a new niche of fans to contribute to the previous small collection of regular attendees of small low-fi folk and blues gigs in tucked-away, musty venues. I’m talking about ‘RPatz’ stalkers. This became apparent at a gig of his at the small but iconic Troubadour bar in West Brompton last summer, where I met both an ageing, brooding New Yorker blues fan and a group of over-dressed teenage girls. However, his mainstream popularity is set to increase with the inclusion of his life-affirming track ‘I Don’t Mind’ in the recent film Five Dollars a Day. Often collaborating with Bobby Long (another new blues singer-songwriter who deserves recognition in his own right), a few of his more recent songs are available for listening on his MySpace page, and it would be a sorry thing indeed to miss his EP, but it’s definitely worth ferreting out bootlegs like ‘Make it Easy’ and ‘I Was Broken’. If reservations regarding the, often pretentious, affectations of so-called ‘New Folk’ are holding you back (which would be fair), prepare to be surprised: Marcus Foster is different. Sophie Barnes

TCS meets Wheatus after Trinity May Ball “Teenage Dirtbag” was a key component of school discos for many of us, and at Trinity May Ball on Monday students got the opportunity to experience the magic in person. Naomi O’Leary caught up with Wheatus to find out their views on the ball, the music industry, the teaparty movement, and the British press... Playing at Trinity Ball? It’s an odd venue. It’s not really a venue, it’s a courtyard. Getting your equipment in and out of there safely is quite a challenge. And you have to watch out for the historical grass, the fountain that Newton threw up in. And so on. What about your contract? Kevin: We have to sign contracts for all our gigs, but this one was the largest and most stipulatory. We’re not allowed to do a lot of things, and one of them is getting drunk. We’re not allowed to drink on campus, we’re not allowed to eat any of the food they have here, we can’t take any of the drinks they have here, we’re not allowed to hang out with the students. Matthew: Or look at them in the eye. Or wink or smile. Kevin: No flirting What happened that made you move away from Sony? They were horrible people, who didn’t know anything about music.

I think I’m vindicated in that because we’re watching the music industry completely destroy itself. They don’t know how to do this and they should stay the fuck out of it, and let the people who know how to do it do it. That’s all. Don’t they make televisions? They’re all furniture companies in the end. They started out making Vetrolas, which were these big pieces of furniture that played back records, and eventually they made consoles that played back tapes and 8 tracks and records and played the radio and then it went into CD players and DVD players. They are a media furniture company. By some fluke they ended up having a massive amount of power over the music people listen to. And then they lost it because they didn’t deserve to have it in the first place.

Teenage Dirtbag? If it was a cover it would be a problem. But I wrote that song. It’s tough for a band whose only song that anybody knows is not theirs. That’s a tough thing to deal with. You should look up an article about a Satanic ritual, Rolling Stone magazine November 22 1984 – this is the only place I have ever seen the word dirtbag in print used in the context that I saw it when I wrote the song. So what is the meaning? Really drug-addled kids in the woods, killing each other. The term, contextually, comes from my youth in Northport, Long Island, circa 1984. There was this thing that happened, when the murder happened, metal was demonised, this kid was arrested wearing an ACDC shirt. Interviews? We don’t care about anything but music. And it’s hard to elicit information out of us that has to do with something else. I have found that the British press are least interested in music and most interested in sensational stupid stories.

The teaparty movement? That’s just a bunch of racist douchebags from the South. Fifty years ago they wore hoods. It’s like the British National Party, you have those idiots too, and they make a lot of noise, Read the rest of the Wheatus interview and they’re super ignorant, more on our website. and they’re angry.

More Online




Thursday, June 17, 2010

TCS checks out the latest albums The Drums

The Divine Comedy

Crystal Castles

The Drums

Bang Goes The Knighthood

(Fiction, 2010)

(Island, 2010)

Crystal Castles

(DC Records, 2010)



NYC’s much-hyped The Drums’ eponymously titled debut mixes influences from the likes of The Smiths and Joy Division with the pop sensibilites of the Beach Boys. The result is an album full of emotionally charged and carefully crafted pop songs which manages to live up to the hype. Though retaining some tracks from their Summertime EP such as the epitome of surf pop ‘Let’s go Surfing’, complete with whistling and all - The Drums’ LP takes a more sombre turn. Underneath the seemingly upbeat riffs and synths are tales of heartbreak and love lost – there is more to this band than the summery pop of their EP and in their LP they convey both feelings of joy and loneliness. Jonathan Pierce bears his soul, crooning “Darling you can be so unforgiving, you can be so un-loving” in ‘Me And The Moon’, while opener ‘Best Friend’ tells of the tragedy of the death of a friend. The music is simple, heavy on the reverb, and the basic guitar riffs make evident that guitarist Jacob Graham only took up the guitar when the band was formed. However, The Drums’ debut still makes for enjoyable and catchy pop songs such as ‘Forever and Ever Amen’ which will have you singing along and listening to the album on repeat. Though The Drums are not exactly breaking new ground – the album could almost be a time capsule from the 1980s - they successfully recycle the sounds of their influences and use their own ingenuity to create a patchwork quilt of sounds which are all their own. Aurora Horwood

There’s a long-standing literary convention called psychomachia, the ‘battle of the soul’. The idea is that within each person exists a contest between vice and virtue; the concept frequently manifests itself in the image of a miniature angel and devil standing on someone’s shoulders, each trying to persuade the character to follow their advice. The Divine Comedy’s latest release evokes this concept, as it potently accentuates the musical split-personality disorder of frontman Neil Hannon. On one shoulder is his good angel, encouraging him to write powerful, sweeping and sometimes life-affirming love songs like ‘Our Mutual Friend’ and anything off A Short Album About Love. On the other is, if not his bad angel, at least his worse angel, inching him towards enjoyable but often tedious novelty songs like ‘National Express’. On Bang Goes The Knighthood , it’s the latter angel that clearly prevails, which ultimately disadvantages the album. Don’t get me wrong: this is still a strong album. Pounding love song ‘I Like’ is heart-warming, its lyrics articulately inarticulate; ‘The Complete Banker’, despite the unsubtle title, acutely satirises the financial crisis. However, on songs like the title track and the cringeworthy ‘Can You Stand Upon One Leg?’ the novelty value embodied by the Duckworth Lewis Method carries Hannon away. It’s unfortunate; wonderful string-soaked epics like ‘Down in the Street Below’ and ‘When a Man Cries’ suggest the album could have been so much more had Hannon heeded his good angel’s advice. Daniel Janes

★★★☆☆ With the second album sporting the same title as the first, it might be assumed that Crystal Castles plan to bring us more of the same. That would mean more of the hypnotic ‘Crimewave’ and ‘Untrust Us’ or the frenetic ‘Alice Practice’ and ‘Xxzxcuzx Me’, and that would be a very good thing. In a few parts of the duo’s follow-up, this is provided – only it doesn’t quite live up to first effort. However, the majority of tracks move towards a more lyric-sparse trance that is perfectly passable, but fails to have the hook that will reel you in for multiple listens. Opener ‘Fainting Spells’ carries the distorted synths and vocals and discordant structures that are Crystal Castles’ trademark. The bass speeds up periodically into moments of chaotic noise and then vanishes to be replaced by slower, sparse and haunting noises. The next track ‘Celestica’ introduces the more trance-infused numbers that feature prominently throughout the album. Forthcoming single ‘Baptism’ is one of the strongest examples of this new direction as it errs on the comfortable rather than monotonous side of repetition. Sadly, this is not maintained throughout. ‘Year of Silence’ drags and ‘Violent Dreams’ is anything but violent. ‘ There are some strong tracks here. ‘Doe Deer’ is fun, frantic and fast at only 1.38 minutes and ‘Empathy’ has an eerie quality that lingers with you. Yet overall, the album makes for an enjoyable but forgettable listening. Phoebe Amoroso



e tap Mix

Summer Party This week’s Spotify playlist is a perfect recipe for partying and relaxing this summer. You can listen on our website: 1. Sébastian Tellier – La Ritournelle Ritournelle means Jingle in French. This chilled out track is perfect for happy summer afternoons. 2. David Guetta – Gettin’ Over Another French DJ – Guetta recently released a new mix of this track featuring Fergie. 3. Javelin – Oh! Centra An intro straight out of Nintendo and Helium vocals, a standout from Javelin’s 2010 album No Más. 4. The Two Door Cinema Club – Something Good Can Work TDCC are dominating this year’s May Week but with good reason, if you haven’t heard of them yet then listen to this immediately. 5. Crystal Castles – Baptism From the electronica giants’ new album, Baptism is a big track bursting with energy. 6. Apples in Stereo – Dance Floor The Apples in Stereo’s carefree electropop is sure to get you moving, even when the dance floor isn’t there no more... 7. Rachel Portman – Minor Swing As recorded for the 2000 film Chocolat. Think Johnny Depp, gypsy guitar and summer parties. 8. The Pipettes – Pull Shapes Following their performance at Tit Hall’s June Event we’re loving The Pipette’s 60s girl group sound with a modern twist. 9. Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling I’ve got a feeling / That this week’s gonna be a good week. 10. The Flaming Lips – It’s Summertime A bittersweet number from the Lips’ 2002 album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Just remember it’s summer time.


Thursday, June 17, 2010



May the feasting begin! June is bustin’ out all over, it is (apparently) the lusty month of May. Make your meals depraved and delicious, advises Lettice Franklin Fig, Mozzarella and Basil Salad

Buy a baguette from the bread stall in the market Rip the chicken and baguette, combine with mayonnaise, rocket, and lots of salt and pepper for the best sandwich the world has to offer.

Figs, here, offer a delicious sweetness to this fresh, summery salad. Splash out and treat yourself to good quality ingredients from the Cambridge Cheese Company or the market. Cut 8 figs into quarters Tear the mozzarella into bite-sized segments Place figs and mozzarella in Tupperware box. This, as well as being handily portable, will allow the figs to marinate in the dressing as you walk to the perfect picnic spot. Scatter about 18 whole basil leaves among the figs and mozzarella Drizzle with the best olive oil you have and loads of balsamic vinegar. Photo: Richard Rutter

Every aspect of life becomes highly charged in May Week; one grey cloud is equivalent to the four horsemen of the apocalypse to queuing revellers, Marks and Spencer’s heel insoles are previous gems worth battling for, and going to bed becomes a prized but unnecessary treat. You can almost taste the intense desire to make every moment of this rare 168 hours of freedom in this city of towering dreams memorable. This lust for fun and excitement manifests itself in our eating. May Balls transform the usually uncaring eaters into obsessed, gluttonous gourmets. Food is billed in the programmes like rock stars; Wheatus will take the stage at midnight but falafel will be appearing on a different stage in that same, headlining spot – what to do, what to do? Jesus’ Cloister Court became a mosh pit as revellers used elbows and kitten heels to get first pick of the sushi bar. We’ve paid hundreds of pounds and we must consume the equivalent hundreds of calories. This almost horrific, ballwide greed is intensified by alcohol, plus the 20 minute queue for pizza is perhaps more worthwhile if you have made the last month pizza-free in an attempt to fit the gorgeous dress you’re now buttoned into.

Revellers used elbows and kitten heels to get first pick of the sushi Gorging on free doughnuts aside, May Week can contain some truly wonderful gourmet experiences. With a little more time and a lot more enthusiasm about life, the food we eat becomes one more thing to per-

fect and to appreciate. Gone are the days of the wolfed down UL tea room cheese sandwich. One way to make any snack remarkable is to take it outside. Cambridge has several fantastic restaurants with outdoor seating, my favourite being La Mimosa. La Mimosa lies about seven minutes from King’s and yet a trip there feels like an escape from the bustling claustrophobia of Cambridge, where one can never pause to take a long deep breath, especially this week when there is, at any moment, the possibility of bumping into rumoured performer, Bradley from S Club 7 (I know, I’m in a state of constant hyperventilation). Sitting on La Mimosa’s lovely terrace watching the sky turn slowly pink, as your cheeks too become just that little bit pinker with each sip of pink wine, one can truly relax. The food is fantastic, with the spaghetti con frutti di mare boasting plentiful tiger prawns, calamari and mussels, which seem appropriate sustenance to be eaten on the riverbank, even if the Cam has never, itself played host to such a plethora of taste bud teasing treats. At £8.95 this dish is significantly cheaper than some of the pastas offered at Ask, and significantly nicer. Despite such lovely exceptions, one has to accept that Cambridge’s beauty lies not without but within college walls. Why not then throw your own May Week outdoor brunch among the lovely irises of Clare’s Gardens or with your toes trailing in the Cam? Rival the greasy bacon rolls served up during the survivors’ photos. Soothe the aches of your bedraggled, fellow revellers. These recipes require no cooking whatsoever, so you can

totally veto the horrible windowless college kitchen and potentially do all your preparation outside after a quick trip to the market.

Chicken Sandwiches

I know you shouldn’t really have roast chicken for breakfast, but come on, we’re party people, it’s party week and Henry VIII would have done it. Let’s get debauched. This really isn’t complex enough to be a recipe, more an encouragement Embrace Sainsbury’s transformation and buy a rotisserie chicken.


Domino’s Classic Pizzas OK for Vegetarians Pizzas a little on the spicy HOT side

Original Cheese & Tomato • Topped with 100% Mozzarella Cheese & Domino’s own Tomato Sauce.

Bloody Mary

This is such an essential hangover treat it should be prescribed by doctors. This recipe is for one, so remember to multiply by group number and stomach strength. Daytime drinking is completely undermined by bad presentation so don’t even think about drinking this out of a plastic Evian bottle and instead go a little mental, live a little, and take proper glasses outside with you. Place 2 ice cubes in a glass and add two shots of vodka Add the juice of half a lemon, 6 dashes of Worcestershire sauce, 3 dashes of Tabasco sauce and about 150 mil of tomato juice Stir and season with salt and pepper to taste Decorate with a stick of celery or a lemon segment.





(4 Slices)

(6 Slices)

(8 Slices)

(10 Slices)





Garlic Pizza Bread •


Potato Wedges •


Topped with 100% Mozzarella Cheese & Domino’s own Tomato Sauce Seasoned and baked to perfection, served with BBQ and Sweet Chilli dips

Chicken Strippers



7 pure chicken breast goujons, coated in crispy breadcrumbs, served with BBQ and Honey & Mustard dips

Chicken Kickers



Pepperoni Passion

7 succulent pieces of white chicken breast in a mildly spicy, crispy coating, served with Garlic & Herb and Hot Sauce dips

Extra Pepperoni, Double Mozzarella Cheese

Vegetarian Supreme •

Strippers Combo

Onions, Green Peppers, Sweetcorn, Mushrooms, Tomatoes


Hot & Spicy •






A full portion of Chicken Strippers® and Potato Wedges, served with BBQ, Sweet Chilli and Honey & Mustard dips

Kickers Combo



Onions, Green Peppers, Ground Beef, Jalapeno Peppers

A full portion of Chicken Kickers® and Potato Wedges, served with BBQ, Garlic & Herb and Hot Sauce dips


Coleslaw • Dips •

Ham, Pineapple, Mushrooms ¨

Domino’s Texas BBQ

200g Tub

Great for dunkin’ those crusts: BBQ, Garlic & Herb, Sweet Chilli, Honey & Mustard and Hot Sauce

BBQ Sauce, Roast Chicken, Smoky Bacon, Onions, Green Peppers

1.49 39p

Domino’s Waffles

Meatballs, Ground Beed, Sausage, Pepperoni, Smoky Bacon on top of a ‘Light’ portion of BBQ Sauce

Pepperoni, Ham, Sausage, Ground Beef

Vegi Volcano • •


2 Belgian waffles with a sprinkling of sugar, served with Chocolate and Toffee dips

Meatzza Pizza

Domino’s Cookies


Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream


4 yummy cookies loaded with choc chips


Onions, Green Peppers, Tomatoes, Jalapeno Peppers, Extra Cheese





Domino’s Mighty Meaty Onions, Mushrooms, Pepperoni, Ham, Ground Beef, Sausage

Coke/Diet Coke/ Coke Zero/Fanta


Domino’s Full House Onions, Green Peppers, Pepperoni, Sausage, Mushrooms, Ground Beef, Ham, Sweetcorn, Pineapple

500ml Tub

Create Your Own By adding any of the following toppings to our Original Cheese & Tomato Pizza or any Pizza on our menu:-





per extra topping

330ml cans 1.25ltr bottles



27 Hills Road, Cambridge

• Second pizza must be of equal or lesser value than the first. • From the menu or Ô Create Your OwnÕ up to 5 toppings. • Valid with medium or large pizzas only. • Offer excludes personal or small pizzas. • Valid at DominoÕ s Cambridge store only. • Not valid on interactive TV or online ordering services. • Not valid with any other offer. • Please mention offer when ordering. • Only one coupon per order. • Please present coupon with payment on delivery or collection. • This coupon has no cash value. • Coupons cannot be combined or used in multiple orders.


Starters, desserts and drinks are only delivered with pizzas. Prices are subject to change without notice. No substitutions to set menu. Our products may contain nut derivatives. Although great care has been taken to remove all bones from chicken and ham, some may remain. All products are subject to availability. Meal Deals currently not available via the online. ‘Coca-Cola’, ‘Coke’, the Dynamic Ribbon device and the ‘Coca-Cola’ Red Disc icon are registered trade marks of The Coca-Cola Company. Unless you request otherwise the address details that you provide to the store on making an order will be retained on the store system for use in connection with future orders made by you. Copyright 2009, Domino’s Pizza Group Limited. All trade marks are registered in the names of Domino’s Pizza Group Limited and/or Domino’s PMC Inc. Used under licence by DPGL. All rights reserved.

7 days a week: 11.00am – Late

Minimum Delivery Order Ð £9.99. Limited delivery area designed with safety in mind.

Drivers carry less than £10.

Valid at Dominos Cambridge store only Ð Coupon Expires: 30/06/10

Buy One, Get One Second pizza must be of equal or lesser value than the first. Available for collection or delivery. Valid at Dominos Cambridge store only Ð Coupon Expires: 30/06/10

Buy One, Get One


Coupon Conditions:

*Delight Mozzarella cheese can replace regular Mozzarella cheese at no charge.

Second pizza must be of equal or lesser value than the first. Available for collection or delivery.

Second pizza must be of equal or lesser value than the first. Available for collection or delivery.

Coke/Diet Coke/Fanta

Sundried Tomato & Garlic Sauce, Cheese, Pepperoni, Onions, Jalapeno Peppers, Tandoori Chicken, Herbs

Sausage, Ground Beef, Pepperoni, Black Olives, Ham, Green Peppers, Pineapple, Sweetcorn, Onions, Tomatoes, Anchovies, Smoky Bacon, Jalapeno Peppers, Mushrooms, Extra Cheese, Tandoori Chicken, Roast Chicken, Tuna, Herbs, Meatballs, BBQ Sauce, Sundried Tomato & Garlic Sauce.

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Valid at Dominos Cambridge store only Ð Coupon Expires: 30/06/10

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Second pizza must be of equal or lesser value than the first. Available for collection or delivery. Valid at Dominos Cambridge store only Ð Coupon Expires: 30/06/10

Buy One, Get One


Second pizza must be of equal or lesser value than the first. Available for collection or delivery. Valid at Dominos Cambridge store only Ð Coupon Expires: 30/06/10

Tel: (01223) 355 155



M I Write C for TCS H TCS is looking for committed writers for Michaelmas 2010

If you’ve got a story, a feature or an opinion that should be heard, get in touch. Email editor@tcs.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

South Africa: A Worthy Host?

Steve Westlake Sports Comment

The World Cup has been more of a poison chalice

For South Africa, the hosting of the World Cup represents a unique opportunity to exorcise the twin demons of past of injustices and contemporary domestic problems. Yet the comparisons drawn in the international press between the “informal settlements” and concentration camps are understandably damaging. In the shadow of the newly-built Mbombela stadium just outside of Nelspruit, capital of Mpumalanga province, more evidence of the World Cup’s Janus-faced legacy can be observed. Locals say they are proud of the new stadium with its iconic “Giraffe” design, but the disparity between the shining, well-lit new roads leading to the football ground and the conditions endured by those who live just a stone’s throw away is shocking. Two schools were relocated to temporary classrooms in containers from freight ships to make way for the sta-

Photo: Audrey Scales

As the opening games of the 19th FIFA World Cup kick off all across South Africa, the spotlight on this remarkable nation will only burn brighter. In the midst of all the on-pitch action and the vigour, verve and vuvuzelas which accompany every match, a closer look at the real meaning of the World Cup to the vast majority of South Africans reveals some disconcerting truths. Beneath the undeniable enthusiasm of those millions of fans swelling the streets of Durban, Cape Town and Johannesburg there is a burden to be saddled for the privilege of staging this showpiece event. Questions must be asked regarding the legacy of this tournament in the light of the ongoing revelations concerning the displacement, both socially and physically, of thousands of the poorest members of South African society in the name of “civic beatification”. The ongoing legal battle between the Kwazulu-Natal provincial government and the Abahlali baseMjondolo movement typifies the kinds of problems that have been endemic in the buildup to the tournement. The passing of the “Elimination and Prevention of Re-emergence of Slums Act” in 2007 is designed to ensure a pleasant environment for the masses of tourists flocking to South Africa this summer. However, this has led to thousands of forced evictions. Numerous NGOs, civil society

organisations and academics have condemned the act as “anti-poor legislation”. Relocation to governmentbuilt “informal settlements” like the tin can town of Blikkiesdorp outside Cape Town has been imposed upon thousands of families. Such settlements have high crime rates and substandard living conditions, fostering an environment in which gang culture thrives. .

Two sides of the World Cup: The smiling faces and sunshine of the publicity for the World Cup make a mockery of social reality in much of South Africa.

dium, and their promised new school buildings are yet to materialise. Meanwhile, allegations of corruption at the highest level relating to the awarding of construction contracts have lead to serious worries over the stadium’s reputation and legacy, with no less than six of those involved in the contract process mysteriously dying in the last three years. For these individuals at least, the World Cup has been less a golden opportunity

A makeshift weights bench outside a shack in Khayelitsha, the largest township in the country.

and more a poison chalice. The South African government certainly believes that the World Cup will be good for South Africa in the long run, a unique opportunity to provide massive capital investment into a country whose massive geographical size makes inter-provincial travel difficult. Yet developments like the R8.4 billion Gautrain electric rail service linking Johannesburg and Pretoria

Photo: Heinz Joseph-Lucking

to OM Tambo International Airport suggest that the real legacy of this wonderful sporting tournament may not be a force for good for the whole population. Such schemes have crowded out further public sector investment, goig against the findings of the independent Transport Portfolio Committee which advised against its construction in November 2007

There have been allegations of corruption at the highest level It seems, increasingly, that awarding the tournament to South Africa was a decision informed more by a romantic vision of a continent united by its shared passion than by awareness of the narrow segments of the social spectrum that would ultimately reap the benefits. Of course, there have been advantages. The profile of African football, helped by the six teams that are representing the continent in the tournement, has reached new heights. This summer will be the source of much pride for the continent. However, while we continue to enjoy the unique atmosphere which South Africa provides for this World Cup and the passion with which the crowds have participated thus far, we cannot allow ourselves to forget the millions for whom the competition represented an opportunity for permanent, progressive change - an opportunity which has been missed. The World Cup should have stayed out of Africa until FIFA figured how to present such an event as something other than a fragile facade obscuring massive contradictions.


Thursday, June 17, 2010


The Big Names for World Cup 2010 Thomas Wills Deputy Sports Editor We are five days into this World Cup, and it has been utterly dull. The biggest teams - Brazil, Spain, Argentina and England - have failed to begin with spark or attacking intent, and there has been a marked lark of spectacle and dynamism as teams grind out narrow victories or stale draws. Irregardless, looking ahead to the next rounds remains a salivating task, especially when the sheer number of figures with the erratic talent to change the tournament is considered. TCS looks at the four men who can determine the fate of the World Cup...

Photo: Victoria Watson

Diego Maradona He’s an odious, self-obsessed creature who seems bent upon using every single press conference to further reinforce his cult of personality. However, as Argentina manager he’s also in charge of a cohort including some of the most exciting players in the world. Higuan, Tevez and Messi all have the capacity to change a game with one stroke of inspiration, and they are only three figures in a team that surely has the pedigree to lift the trophy. However, Maradona’s management seems the chief obstacle to this outcome. They barely scraped through qualifying, and the bizarre choice to exclude Javier Zanetti and

Esteban Cambiasso from the squad appears a further disadvantage.

Maradona can’t win the World Cup for Argentina, but if he keeps his head down he might at least limit his damaging impact upon their chances. Jamie Carragher Oh dear. Rio Ferdinand and Ledley King are out, their unrelaible bodies less resilient that Capello hoped. Therefore, it is upon Carragher, the thirty-two year old Liverpool stalwart, to step into the central defensive breach. Forget Rooney and Gerrard, England’s chaces of success rest squarely on the shoulders of this man. His performance against Mexico in the warm-up game was sluggish and will have the likes of Luis Fabiano and David Villa licking their lips, but he can equally turn in the

sort of courageous and tactically astute perforance that has transformed the Kop into a sort of lairy Carragher appreciatiation society.

tled in German squads of the past. Indeed, with Michael Ballack injed for the duration. Schweinsteiger is very much the biggest star. A man with possibly the most German name imaginable (save, perhaps, for a cheeky von inserted somewhere), he was extremely classy against Australia, showing off the range of his passing.


it’s possible to trace a rich lineage of footballing genius from Pele through Zico, Socrates, Romario and Ronaldinho. Luis Fabiano is never talked about in these terms, and neither should he be. He’s not that good. What he is, apparently, is on storming and clinical form. The Sevilla man scored 21 goals in La Liga last season, and shows every sign of bringing his straightforward and effective approach to goalscoring into this World Cup.

Whether he manages to replicate those performances in an England shirt will be the difference between quarter final ignomy and something more. Bastian Schweinsteiger Germany have been the only team to really impress in the first round of games, cementing their reputation as World Cup overperformers by dominating Australia and slamming four goals past them. The scoreline, and the incisive performance, obscures the fact that the squad is woefully short of the big names that have bris-

If Spain or Brazil implode before the final rounds then Germany are well placed to take their place as principal challengers, and Schweinsteiger as the man who could power his country to victory. Luis Fabiano Brazil have a long and proud history of producing supreme talent;

This Brazil team is not a vintage year, they are rather a reflected image of their manager Dunga: dull, efficient and successful. With Fabiano’s muscular presence in the final third, their chances of going all the way are far greater.

Varsity Tennis Preview Laura Morrill Sports Reporter Cambridge won 4-0 against tough opposition which will bode well for the upcoming Varsity match. Laura Morrill and Alex Mcgoodwin, number 1 pair, fought back to win 6 7, 6 0, then 10 5 in a third set match tiebreak decider. The good start was then continued by Alice Barnes and Silvia Gugliemi who won comfortably at second pair. The changing of the pairings brought little difference as Cam-

bridge continued their dominence with two further wins. Laura and Silvia won a tough match 6 4 6 4 against Kent’s first pairing. The match was finally completed when Alice Barnes and Corina Balabanwon won comfortably against Kent’s second pair. The victory for Cambridge was good warm up and confidence boost for this year’s Varsity. Meanwhile, the Men’s Blues teams will hope for a reversal in their league and friendly form in this year’s Varsity Match. In

a tough league campaign in the BUCS Northern Premier League, the Blues only just managed to avoid relegation. The decisive match coming in round five when the Blues earnt a hard fought victory against fellow relegation strugglers University of Nottingham. Thier friendly results have also been dissapointing this with the Blues only managing to chalk up two victories out of five. However, having won the last four Varsities, the Blues should have the confidence for another victory.

Do you have Type 1 Diabetes? Interested in Type 1 Diabetes research? The Cambridge University Department of Paediatrics is conducting a research study on the interaction between growth hormone and insulin action in people with Type 1 Diabetes. We are looking for people to participate in this study which will last for 14 weeks and involve: • Two four-week blocks of once-daily medication to suppress growth hormone secretion • Three overnight stays at Addenbrooke’s Hospital • One visit to Addenbrooke’s Outpatient Clinic You will be reimbursed for your time and effort. For more information, contact the Research Team on 01223 763405 or email:

30|College Sport



Thursday, June 17, 2010

Photo: Douglas Brumley

Sun shines as rowing season comes to an end Chris Hinde Sports Reporter For those of us who have spent the year traipsing around Cambridge in tight-fitting stash, who have sat propping open our eyelids all day after 6am alarms, and - more to the point - have happily just spent the week after exams on a self-imposed drinking ban, this Bumps week was an euphoric and exhilarating blur. Even for normal folk, the tension and excitement of the races was captivating, particularly at the top level of competition; the hard-fought battles teased out college patriotism like no other sport can. There is always an element of unpredictability about the May Bumps; returning Blues and Lightweight rowers make this an entirely different landscape to the Lents. Queens’ M1 are the prime example; they had a fantastic early season, shot up 6 in the Lents and were seemingly unstoppable, yet (plagued, perhaps, by steering problems and unfortunate errors) were unable to make an impact amongst the field last week, slipping down one in the Mays chart. After First and Third’s poor performance at Champ’s Head, both Caius and Pembroke were rumoured to have the pace to challenge for the men’s Headship. Hopes for the women lay only with Pembroke or Downing, since Champs’ winners Newnham W1 would be starting the week too far from Headship contention. To the delight of the crowds lin-

ing the river, the first men’s division delivered some utterly thrilling races. On Friday evening, Caius M1 resisted the pushes of Pembroke M1 for the entire length of the course, keeping Pembroke in second place overnight. A final nail-biting encounter on Saturday saw the Pembroke men step up a gear and surge to their Bump just metres from the finish line. Despite this drama, First and Third M1 rowed away from their tussles to maintain their Headship for a third year. Still, there are now some very strong contenders in the top five who will be eager for an upset in twelve months’ time. Four comfortable row-overs saw Pembroke W1 carry home the women’s headship once again. Elsewhere in the women’s first division, Christ’s W1 will be happy to end a very successful season with their set of blades, whilst Jesus W1 were found to be completely out of their depth, tumbling down six places from second to eighth. In the lower divisions, Pembroke, Christ’s and Emmanuel enjoyed particularly successful campaigns in both men’s and women’s competitions, although the plaudits for most impressive single crew must surely belong to Caius M3’s trampling of all around them – finishing up nine places over four days. As the boat clubs now wind down their activity for the summer, many of this week’s thousand or so competitors will not row again before October. When winter rolls in, it will be the memory of a glorious

June Saturday which gets us up for the 6am alarm, and the perpetual pursuit of Headship will begin again.

May Bumps: The Big Winners FaT M1 maintained Headship Pembroke W1maintained Headship Caius M3 bumped up nine places Christ’s W2 bumped up six places Emma M3 Bumped up six places Christ’s W3Bumped up six places

The Big Losers Jesus M3 Bumped down nine places Jesus W1Bumped down six places St Edmund’s W1Bumped down five places


Thursday, June 17, 2010


College Sport|31

Odd Balls...

Bex Law takes a sideways look at the world of sport.

Bulls up A matador has hung up his cape in shame after he was arrested and fined for running away from a bull. Arrested for breach of contract, he later stated he ‘didn’t have the balls’ for the job. Having spun his red cape at the charging bull, Christian Hernandez decided he did not want to be charged at by the angry creature and consequently leapt over the wall to safety. His actions came after another bull seriously gored the matador in the leg. The angry crowd jeered at Hernandez as he was forced to return to the ring and point upwards in defeat. It is all very well to jeer from the side but I suggest that the crowd’s claims they would have taken his place are in fact a lot of bull!

Photo: Jonty Fairless

Photo: Intljoe

Jesus crucify Christ’s Shane Murray Sports Reporter


Jesus Christ’s

177-9 39 all out

In an astonishing final, a stubborn Christ’s side were unable to resist Jesus’ ferocious bowling attack, as the heavy favourites eventually cruised to victory. Despite their impressive procession through the group stages and quarter-finals and their imperious victory over Churchill in the semifinals, Christ’s had come into their first final since 2001 firmly in the position of underdogs. They were missing their star batsman of the campaign, Chris Blake, and the wily veteran, Abteen Mostofi. Meanwhile, the Jesus side turned out filled with Blues and Crusaders and had qualified in equally impressive style, before a narrow victory over Caius in the semi-final. In the absence of Blake, Christ’s decided to place their faith in their bowlers, electing to field first in overcast and damp conditions that had threatened to postpone the game. Despite Grimshaw being dismissed early on for 8, Blues Frankie Brown and Charlie Hopkins quickly put together a strong partnership, grabbing 64 runs together. Hopkins was particularly impressive, sending a six sailing over the head of Christ’s

bowler Stephen Harrison, over the pavilion, and onto the road beyond. Unfazed, however, Harrison bowled Hopkins out at the end of the over, allowing Christ’s to briefly halt Jesus’ momentum. Expertly marshalled with military precision by their captain Harry Bardon, Christ’s were efficient in the field, slowly tightening the noose on the Jesus middle order. The hard work in the field was finally rewarded when three wickets fell in quick succession to run-outs, and at this point it appeared that the Jesus tail might be dismissed quickly. Christ’s could, and possibly should, at this point have bowled Jesus out for a more achievable target of around 160, but complacency allowed Jesus to steal some cheap runs in the final overs, and they finished on 177 for 9. Initially pleased at having held what was essentially a university-standard side, Christ’s returned to bat growing in confidence that they might be able to force an upset. These illusions, however, were dispelled with the first ball bowled in the innings, a rocket from Charlie Hopkins which drew an audible intake of breath of the Christ’s supporters, and knowing smiles from those of Jesus. Hopkins opened the Jesus attack with an over that made the pace of the rest of the game seem positively glacial. Faced with a superb and extremely fast bowler, Christ’s were stuck be-

tween doing what was sensible (defending) and what is necessary in a 20/20 game (attacking), and had to opt, disastrously, for the latter. However, even after the opening batsmen were dismissed for 3 runs, no-one could have foreseen the incredible third over of the innings, which effectively ended the match as a contest. Hopkins began a brilliant streak by bowling out the Christ’s captain, Bardon, and then, following a wide, took a superb hat-trick, trapping Cade and Shah LBW, and bowling out James Revell. It was left to Harrison, the most experienced member of the Christ’s side, to restore a semblance of stability to the innings, as he stubbornly and stoically toiled his way to 18 runs not out, much to the frustration of the Jesus bowlers. However, the rest of the tail was unable to follow his example with the same success, as the game attempts of Woodward, Nowell and Williams to protect their wickets went largely unrewarded. The fall of the final wicket was greeted only with muted celebration; the game had been a foregone conclusion for some time. After the match, Christ’s captain Harry Bardon was happy to praise his opponents: “We’ve played superbly all season, but we’ve come against a great team today, and full credit to Charlie Hopkins, who was brilliant.”

Police rain on parade Police have poured cold water over the plans for a Battersea park water fight. In extreme measures to prevent the event warnings have been issued threatening prosecution for participants. The organisers set up a Facebook group to inform the world of their hopes for a large-scale water war in late July. The BBC reports that police officers with dogs will be on patrol and intend to stop suspects and levy a £200 fine. Wandsworth Council have issued warnings to ‘stay away’ after a water fight in Hyde Park proved to be a reservoir of disorder. Vicar on target We’ve all heard that you can drive geese through the city of London, that in Texas you are not allowed to have a pair of pliers in your possession, and that in Miami it is illegal to impersonate an animal. One Wiltshire vicar has revived another ancient law to summon all her parishioners to archery practice. Attendance was mandatory but the barbecue which was given as a reward seemed to hit the target with attendees. The BBC reports that Reverend Mary Edwards had always wanted to enforce the unrepealed law, which was set out in the middle ages, ever since she became aware of its existence. The bringing of running water to the church seemed like an apt time to enforce celebration. Budweiser doesn’t want any buddies With draws galore the World Cup had been lacking sensation. However thirty-six dutch women were detained by police after wearing matching orange mini-dresses to a match. The dress was a freebie given out by Dutch Beer company Bavaria. The women all claimed that they donned the dress in support of their country. However the Telegraph reports that the women were accused of ‘ambush-marketing’ and were asked to leave the stadium during the match or face removal. Unwilling to leave midmatch the women were removed, taken to a Fifa office, interrogated and threatened with a six month prison sentence. Official sponsor Budweiser have the monopoly on beer advertising within official venues and Fifa, unwilling to let trouble brew, are fierce in their protection of the marketing deal.

ger dan o: n t o Ph

Cuppers Final Jesus thrash Christ’s in one-sided final


CambridgeStudent Cambridge

The World Cup Finally Arrives TCS on the highlights

Thursday, 17th June 2010

Cambridge foal short of Varsity win

Oxford nose ahead - Oxford beat Cambridge in this year’s polo Varsity

Oxford Cambridge

5 4

Phill Brook & Lizzie Hepworth Sports Reporters Cambridge made desperate efforts to catch a skilful Oxford polo side, yet time was against them handing the Dark Blues a narrow 5-4 victory. The top deck of the Pimms Bus provided the perfect view of the match this Saturday, a tradition dating back to 1879 (the match, not the bus!). Hosted by the Guards Polo Club in Windsor, the glorious sunshine did much to relieve the agonising pang of defeat. Yet for a side ranked far behind Oxford by handicap, to come so close on the day was a testament to the tenacious skill of the Cantabridgian side. Despite initial confusion over whether the handicap was to be applied, potentially giving Cambridge a two-and-a-half goal lead, eventually it was decided to ignore them: in many ways a fateful decision for the Light Blues, handing Oxford the initiative.

And as the first Chukka began, Oxford showed their skill with excellent pressure on the Cambridge goal. In spite of a stumble by Oxford number 2, Tarquin Wethered, Oxford kept control of the ball. Yet moments later Cambridge scrambled a clearance shot to turn the tables on the Dark Blues, leading to a composed attack on the Dark Blue goal. After a brief scuffle as horses jostled for position, Cambridge number 4, Tobi Edun was able to put Cambridge into the lead for the first and only time. Sadly, Oxford came back quickly, mounting a powerful attack through the heart of the Cambridge defence. The pressure proved too great, and Cambridge conceded a soft penalty. Lined up 30 yards from the now undefended Cambridge goal, Oxford 4 and captain, Tom Mayou rode up and took his chance bringing Oxford back level with Cambridge, the first Chukka ending 1-1. The second Chukka began with the players remounted on a new set of fresh Argentinean ponies but also with renewed Oxford pressure, immediately breaking for the Cambridge goal. Oxford’s Tom Mayou, quickly scored to put Oxford ahead


for the first time. To the horror of the Cambridge travelling support, this was swiftly followed by the referee awarding Oxford with a penalty, which they converted with relish. Yet Oxford’s pressure and expanding lead spurred Tobi Edun into action, galloping the length of the field to narrowly miss pulling a goal back for Cambridge. Yet the penalty he won, after an Oxford pony kicked the ball away, gave them to chance to close the gap to one goal. Edun did not disappoint, renewing Light Blue

Pages 30- Bumps Review Page 31- Bex Law’s Odd Balls Page 29- Tennis Varsity Preview hopes and putting Cambridge firmly back in the battle. Cambridge ended the Chukka in style, putting Oxford under pressure and earning raucous cheers from their supporters, although their efforts proved fruitless. But with Cambridge on their tails,

Oxford rode into the third Chukka with renewed intensity, putting the Light Blues back under pressure. Oxford’s Tom Meacher intercepted a daring run by Edun, a Nigerian international, to work towards the Cambridge goal and winning a penalty after a cantabridgian hoof turned goal-keeper. The Oxford goal scorer, Tom Mayou, took the penalty but missed narrowly, much to the relief of Cambridge. However, the pressure soon returned when Oxford received a free shot. Yet the remarkable Edun struck again, blocking the ball as it flew towards the goal. In the scuffle of flying mallets and kicking hooves however, the ball crossed the Cambridge goal line, deflecting in off a hoof to take Oxford into a two goal lead. Another goal for Oxford stretched the gap to three goals. Unfortunately time was against the Light Blues as the Chukka ended during a powerful dash from Edun leaving them behind, 5-2. The fourth chukka presented a bleak picture for Cambridge, and the crowd seemed more subdued, almost resigned to defeat. But Cambridge rode out with their head high. After a short burst of Oxford pressure, Cam-

bridge were able to push towards the Oxford goal. A scuffle in front of the posts in which an Oxford hoof blocked the ball led to a Cambridge penalty. Edun seized the chance and closed the gap. Oxford attacked again however and heroics on the line, again by Tobi Edun were all that prevented a final Oxford goal. The dying seconds of the match saw Cambridge dash for a final goal to take them into extra time, but as the ball crossed the line, the final bell sounded, drowned out by Cambridge cheers. To the despair of the Cambridge team, Oxford were handed the victory by a millisecond. Speaking after the game, Cambridge star, Edun said he was ‘gutted’ to lose, but applauded the quality of the Oxford play. The Oxford captain, Mayou admitted that Oxford were lucky to have avoded the handicap. With the standard of polo everrising, the stage looks set already for another close match next year.. Meanwhile, Cambridge came home with some pride as the seconds beat the Oxford seconds 6 - 2. Consequently, many of the Cambridge seconds will be hoping for starting places next year.

The Cambridge Student  

May Week Edition 2010

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