Thus, to be succinct we may operationalize domestic violence and abuse as an unwanted systemic set of ongoing behaviors which falls outside normative boundaries and spirals multi-directionally over time around issues of control and power with the intention of enhancing the perpetrator‟s power at the expense of the victim. With this as our lens let us explore specific behaviors and forms of abuse and violence.
YOU MAY BE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE IF:
You are frightened or feel responsible of your partner‟s temper or behavior
You are compliant because you are afraid of being punished verbally or physically by your partner
You make decisions according to what your partner wants or how your partner will react
You censor your reactions and opinions to avoid hurting your partner‟s feelings or causing conflict
You have been kicked, hit, shoved or had things thrown at you or around you
You have been called names, degraded or humiliated privately or publicly
You are unjustly accused of having affairs or blame for things which are not your fault
You have been threatened of being “outed” if you do not comply with partner‟s demands
You have been prevented from getting/maintaining a job, participating in control of mutual resources or restricted access to your money
You have been forced to have sex or caused pain sexually without your consent
Four specific forms of abuse dominate domestic violence literature - emotional, physical, financial and sexual while two others - intellectual and spiritual are ignored. Additionally, imposed social isolation (occasionally examined in terms of emotional abuse) is best considered itself as an independent form given the frequency and impact with which it strikes. The following section briefly defines each of these seven forms and typical behaviors. 11