2 minute read
SELF-CARE: Ask for What You Need
“I don’t have time for self-care. Plus, it costs too much to get regular massages.”
Have you found yourself saying something similar to this when the conversation of selfcare comes up?
Lately, I’ve started noticing that we, as a society, have overcomplicated self-care. For some reason, we feel as though we must indulge in expensive spa days or taking lavish bubble baths.
At the same time, simple techniques, such as setting healthy boundaries and advocating for yourself, are often overlooked. One form of self-care that has made its way front and center in my world lately has been asking for what I need.
Of course, asking for what you need can be easier said than done in real life. Especially if you have spent a lifetime relying on only one person to get things done — yourself. Regardless of your history with this simple, yet complex concept, the more you practice, the easier it gets. Therefore, I encourage you to start practicing by advocating for yourself and asking for what you need.
Here are a few different ways to jump-start this essential skill:
ASK WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS.
Frequently, we ask for help with a desire for a single outcome. We are tied to a single solution, and when our needs go unmet because it is not feasible for the other person, we are all left feeling unfulfilled. To avoid this issue, ask for what you need and be open to receiving support that may look different than what you originally had in mind.
DITCH THE FEAR OF REJECTION.
In some cases, we have already decided that we will not get the answer we desire — even before asking. Tying it back to asking without expectations, ask for what you need without worrying about the answer. Remember, if you don’t ask, the answer is always ‘no.’
BE CLEAR IN WHAT YOU NEED.
If you are struggling to juggle multiple responsibilities, ask for help with a specific project or task (or offer a few to pick from). A key point to remember: you can’t assume others will know what you need help with or that you even require assistance. Be sure to specify what you need rather than simply saying, “I need help.”
Self-care is more than massages and pedicures. It is about ensuring your basic needs are met to maintain your health and prevent (or deal with) issues in life. In the matter of inhibiting life issues, be proactive in asking for help. Ask for what you need before you have reached your breaking point. If you are already dealing with problems due to unmet self-care needs, take stock of where you are struggling the most and figure out a few tasks that can be delegated. Then ask for help while keeping in mind the pointers above.
Prioritizing your self-care is foundational in health, happiness, and success in life. Start today. Take care of yourself by asking for what you need!
YOU DESERVE TO BE SUPPORTED BY YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. ALLOW THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP YOU AND ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED. YOU’LL BE HAPPY YOU DID.
— XOXO KRISTI