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A nonprofit organization

Winter 2010-11

The Advocate Empowering Survivors of Domestic and Sexual Violence

Ad-vo-cate: definition: n. (ad-vuh-kit): person who speaks or writes in support of a cause v: (ad-vuh-kit): To speak or act or write in favor of, support, to recommend publicly a person or cause

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Letter from the Executive Director

Neystal Howard-Jones

New Year’s New Resolution

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” Charles Dickens It’s the time of year when people go above and beyond for others. When we Deck the Halls and give selflessly to strangers.

Ready to get 10 years back?

But what do we do after Santa has come and gone and the wrapping paper is thrown away?

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Board Spotlight

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Event Scrapbook

Make a New Year’s Resolution to keep giving to Brighter Tomorrows and supporting survivors of domestic and sexual assault, all year long.

Staff Spotlight

Light Up the Holidays for Victims of Domestic Violence

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Secretary Tina Strand

From Girl Scouts to Cindy Tamplin Tea

Case Manager Larry Matthews

The Holidays Aren’t Over Yet: Want to Make a True Impact?

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Volunteer Spotlight Lillian Rose-Foshee hits the high notes

Before & After

Two incredible teams go to work at the BT

Save the Date Chocolate & Chic 2011

• Volunteering saves us time and money for necessary resources. • For $25, you can provide meals for a mother and two children for three days. • For $40, you help us answer a day’s worth of crisis hotline calls. • For $100, you shelter and mother and two her two children for one night. • For $200, you guarantee counseling sessions for former victims of sexual abuse. Want to learn more about getting involved? Call us at 972-263-0506.


The holidays should be a time for family and friends to share the joy and hope of the season. For those experiencing abuse, however, December can also be a particularly stressful time. Reports from our local Police Departments indicate that domestic violence incidents increase during the holiday season. Added pressures of holiday expectations can worsen an already unhealthy situation. This year, help those living with abuse to know that they’re never alone, especially during the holidays. Please consider making a $25 donation to Brighter Tomorrows. A very small sacrifice for those in need. Your thoughtfulness brings compassion, courage, and a connection to help. Your donation can give a victim the gift of a new beginning and brighter New Year. Thank you for all you do for victims, this season and every season. Happy Holidays from our Board of Directors, Staff, Volunteers, and our most valuable asset; our clients. Sincerely, Neystal Howard-Jones Executive Director

President Debra Danhof Vice President Jeanine Caraway Secretary Tina Strand Treasurer David Scott Beverly Black Chief Larry Boyd Chief Robert D. Brown Gregory Cashman Lynne Haze Chief Keith Humphrey Rhonda Lenard Rebecca Lopez Jody Morris Robbin Murley Deidre Smith Rev. Charles Wolford

Senior Staff Exec. Director Neystal Howard-Jones Dir. of Business Becky Fowler Volunteer Coord. Mellony Martin Exec. Assistant Angela Faulkner Dir. of Client Services Allison Sharpe DV Coordinator Brandy Smith Sexual Assault Coord. Kim Hekmatyar Prevention Specialist Stephany Edwards Children’s Coord. Maegon d’Agrella Facilities Manager James Woodford

Shelter Case Managers Sara Campos Debbie Castellanos, Marcella Santillan Transitional Housing Larry Matthews, CM Ann Thompson, Life Skills Sandra Trigo, Bilingual Shelter Coordinators Lulu Molinas Sonia Stovall Hotline Kim Bax Thrift Stores Rachel Parsons Eva Timberlake Maria Chapa

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Becoming a Purpose-Filled Woman Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault are not easy to understand if you have not been through--it’s hard enough to understand when you have experienced the outbursts of anger, hate, and hurt from someone you at one time thought loved you. While 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime (and 1 in 6 men), it is still something society largely fails to present properly. It has a trickle-down effect that is multigenerational. It leaves emotional scars that sometimes fail to heal long after the real ones have gone away. What does a woman feel when she has been affected by domestic violence or sexual assault? Kim Hekmatyar, Brighter Tomorrows’ Sexual Assault Coordinator, gives us insight into such a mind trying to relieve the emotional burdens of abuse through the therapeutic collaging of a client. This collage shoes pain and hurt (affair, Get 10 Years Back, Outrage), but it also shows hopes (Becoming a Purpose-Filled Woman, No Pieces Left Behind). Our client is making strides by continuing to live. We make strides for her and others by not being silent. Our client has put her past and future into this collage. YOU can help give it a voice.

You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: Make use of suffering. Henri-Frederic Amiel

“Are we to paint what’s on the face, what’s inside the face, or what’s behind it?” Pablo Picasso

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Board Member

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SECRETARY

Tina Strand

My name is Tina Strand, and I own S&S Signs & Specialties in Desoto, Texas.

My husband and I opened our business 6 weeks before the events of 9/11 happened in 2001. As the economy started tanking, we got involved in the community and Chamber of Commerce. We went to every networking event available to keep our business afloat. As a result of this, I was in the Leadership Southwest Class of 2003. One of my classmates was the founder of Brighter Tomorrows, Jana Barker. We became friends, and I have been a committed advocate of the agency ever since.

She has dreams of someone killing her but wakes up before she sees his face. She knows it is her husband.

I know several women who have been abused and continue to live in the abusive

environment—afraid to get out. I even have one friend who has told me if she ever dies to have it investigated because it isn’t what it looks like. She has dreams of someone killing her but wakes up before she sees his face. She knows it is her husband. That is a fear I do not wish upon anyone. She does not have the strength or determination to get out of the situation.

I support this cause on behalf of her and others. If we can help one person, then we’ve

accomplished something. My goal is to spread the word in our community, empower women to not be victims of domestic abuse, and to help those that are in need through prayer, service to the agency, and donations

Tina Strand

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E-V-E-N-T-S-R-A-P-B-O-O-K Showing Community Support for Brighter Tomorrows

Crosswinds students presented a check in the amount of $700 to Ms. Kim Hekmatyar, Sexual Assault Coordinator for Brighter Tomorrows. Crosswinds High School’s homeroom classes competed against each other to see who could raise the most money in four days for Brighter Tomorrows. The incentive? To give back to the local community in a meaningful way, and a pizza party for the winning homeroom. Ms. Cindy Shipley’s (English 1/Arts) morning homeroom and Ms. Kristina Sanders’ (English IV/Comm.) afternoon homeroom were named most generous and awarded a pizza party.

The Special Ops Special Ladies The nationally ranked Special Ops took on the West Texas Travel Team in the only women’s flat track roller derby in Dallas, Texas, on October 23rd. To show their appreciation for Brighter Tomorrows, they donated $280.00 to our shelters. Thanks, Special Ops!

Grand Prairie Girl Scout Troop 123 Brighter Tomorrows’ children won’t miss a birthday just because they are staying in a shelter. Fifteen wonderful girls from Grand Prairie Girl Scout Troop 123, led by Carie Williams, brought fifteen “birthday boxes” filled with all the ingredients necessary to bake birthday cake, decorations, and games for every age group that may be in the shelter. Thank you, Troop 123! Because of you, birthdays will be a most special time for our youth.

Beautiful tablescapes: The Cindy Tamplin Tea The 11th Annual Cindy Tamplin Tea Memorial was held at the Inglewood Baptist Church on November 20, 2010. This beautifully orchestrated event benefits Brighter Tomorrows every year, in memory of Cindy Tamplin. This year, the event raised over $7,000 for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.

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B r i g h t e r T o m o r r o w s Staff S

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December 4th marked my fourth year with Brighter Tomorrows, and

it has been a honor working for such great organization. This type of work can be very rewarding, but not always is it a pleasurable experience, and in that regard, comes as bittersweet. It never gets any easier listening to or reading the troubling stories from abused women and children. Nor is it easy seeing a person come into your program with absolutely nothing (the bitter). On the other hand, it is oh so sweet to help or see someone get a job who hasn’t worked in 13 years. Or have a client to save over $20,000 towards purchasing their first home. Best of all, attending the graduation of the child that grew up in such harsh environments (the sweet).

It is oh so sweet to help or see someone get a job who hasn’t worked in 13 years. I come from a family that has always worked within the community. My father worked for the City of Pine Bluff, Arkansas, for the Community Development Department for 17 years. My mother taught Sunday school at our church for over 20 years and works at the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff in the USDA Liaison Office, where she counsels and assists students with job placement. Lastly, my sister works for the Student Advocate Involvement in the Leadership Center as a Program Coordinator at Boise State University. As you can see, I come from a family of the community. As for myself, I really got involved in the community in Spring of 1997 through my fraternity (The Gamma Sigma Chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi, which my younger brother is also a member of.) That is where I helped develop and implement a guide right program called “Kappa League”. In the program, we mentored young men from local high schools who were underprivileged and helped them matriculate from poverty into colleges and universities. The five phases of Kappa League where Self Identity, Training, Competition, Social, and Health Education. Tools that I currently still use. In a way, I think I was lead to Brighter Tomorrows. I believe in a simple creed: love of God and love of neighbor. As a Case Manager for Brighter Tomorrows in the Transitional Housing Program, my job entails managing client intakes, development of individual objective plans, performing systematic and continuous follow-up regarding client progress, maintaining appropriate client documentation, and providing practical referrals for services as needed. A typical day for me can consist of meeting with clients for job search, making referrals, and following up on any calls to/from our program’s partnerships. I also may handle any client concerns and issues that may arise, ranging from addressing apartment maintenance needs to personal needs, in addition to all other job tasks as defined in my role responsibilities.

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Winter Wonder

Volunteering with Brighter Tomorrows Why did you decide to get involved with Brighter Tomorrows? I wanted to adopt a family for Christmas. I Googled battered women shelters and found Brighter Tomorrows. What do you like best about the agency? First of all, the cause: They help families, kids, and people who can’t help themselves at that time. The structure of the program is great, you’re not just taking people in—you really are giving them a helping hand rather than a hand out. What keeps you committed to the cause? Seeing the results of everyone working together. The kids are truly happy at Christmas, and Chocolate & Chic raises money that is truly beneficial to everyone who is a client of Brighter Tomorrows. This year, we are hoping for an even better turnout. What has been your favorite moment with Brighter Tomorrows? Chocolate & Chic 2010 was a blast. I am hoping the 2011 will be even better. I encourage everyone to get involved. It is fulfilling and fun to see the fruits of our hard work. Any lasting thoughts you would like to leave with our supporters? Thanks for continuing to support this great organization. There are no limits on giving. Keep up the good work.

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City bus passes Door stops Windows Queen, full, and twin mattresses Pots and pans Face and bath towels Personal hygiene products New dresses Laundry detergent Cleaning supplies Tissue and paper towels Doors and door numbers Strollers Tub and sink fixtures

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Electric stove and oven combo Car seats and toddler booster Heating pads Boy’s boxes and undershirts (size 10-16) Underwear and socks (large sizes) Plastic gloves Plastic zip mattress covers Mops Pea gravel/river rock/Cleveland stone Twin/full bunks or frames** Washers and dryers Carpet and carpet layers

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Mapsco for DFW House shoes Trash bags Shower linens and curtains Shaving razors Hair products Coats, scarves, gloves Christmas stockings Smart key doorknobs Sofas and love seats** Water hose hanger Comforters** High Importance**

Thank you to everyone participating in adopt-a-family! Irving Bible Church Matthew Road Baptist Church Crosswinds High School

Special Thanks to

Cindy Tamplin Tea Special Ops Texas Instruments

Grand Prairie Girl Scouts Troop 123 Indian Hills Baptist Church

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We appreciate the many contributions we receive from our supporters. This list includes donations received from June 1st through September 30, 2010.

Allstate Foundation AT&T United Way Employee Giving Campaign Bank of America United Way City of Grand Prairie City of Irving City of Irving Community Affairs Combined Federal Campaign of North Central Texas County Treasurer of the County of Dallas Desoto Christian Church Desoto Elks Lodge # 2552 First Christian Church Give with Liberty Employee Donation Grand Prairie Professional Baseball, LP GRC Wireless, Inc. Hackberry Creek Church Horace Mann JP Morgan Chase & Co. Kirkwood United Methodist Church Lockheed Martin Vought Heritage

Management Association Lone Star Park Charitable Foundation for Grand Prairie Moms’ Club of Grand Prairie, TX Morgan Stanley C/O Cybergrants, Inc. Northern Entertainment # 3 Safeway, Inc. Saint Francis Catholic Church South Park Baptist Church St. Luke’s Episcopal Church Texas Health Organization Texas Mutual Insurance Company The McGraw-Hill Companies Truit United Way Campaign of New Jersey United Way of Metro Dallas United Way of Tarrant County Barbara Bardwell Sharon Blackman Carol Campbell Janice Character

Valdena Coleman James Dougan H.L. Edwards Anita Embry Veronica Frazier Roselind A. Height Allison Jackson Arleen E. Lawson Robert Linnstaedt Thalia Matherson Jeffrey Moore Jody Morris Paula Morley Gwendolyn Oliver Alexis Robinson Grey Ryan Sarah Smith Mary Square Earnestine Williams

Walk in Their Shoes... God bless the little children. It’s a phrase we all can recall, and yet, why is it our youth so often get neglected? Payless Gives Shoes 4 Kids program recalls such a saying, and in return have donated 100 vouchers to Brighter Tomorrows’ children for a free pair of shoes this Christmas. “A striking number of children don’t have shoes that fit. Studies show that properly fitting shoes can enhance self-confidence in children and aid in their proper development and growth. Across the globe, it continues to be difficult for struggling families to cover basic needs, making the holidays a time of stress instead of celebration with family.” (Payless Gives).

Thank you, Payless. We and our youngest clients appreciate you.

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~ TMG DAY OF CARING ~

OUTDOOR LANDSCAPING AT BRIGHTER TOMORROWS 2010 TMG Planning & Finance United Way Day of Caring

TMG Planning/Finance At Work

• Mission: Outdoor Landscaping Project to support Brighter Tomorrows, an agency that empowers victims of domestic violence by providing safe shelter and support services • Location: Irving, TX • Date: October 29th, noon-4pm • Volunteers : 22 employees (40% of total staff) • Donations: Over 35 tools/supplies were provided by the team, in addition to funding which covered ~50% of total cost (the rest generously donated by TMG Management)

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TI Confidential - NDA Restrictions

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Still At Work!

Before

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TI Confidential - NDA Restrictions

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Mission Complete!

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TI Confidential - NDA Restrictions

TI Confidential - NDA Restrictions

TI Confidential - NDA Restrictions

THANK YOU ALL!!

12/7/2010

TI Confidential - NDA Restrictions

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An Early Christmas Present for Our Shelter

New wood floors from Matthew Road Baptist Church

Matthew Road Baptist Church... Hard at work to replace old floors...

BEFORE AFTER

HARD AT WORK

BEFORE

The amazing Before and After!

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

HARD AT WORK Thank you for all of your hard work!

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P.O. Box 532151 Grand Prairie, TX 75053

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The Advocate