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A nonprofit organization

Autumn 2010

The Advocate

Ad-vo-cate: definition: n. (ad-vuh-kit): person who speaks or writes in support of a cause v: (ad-vuh-kit) To speak or act or write in favor of, support, to recommend publicly a person or cause

It is thanks to advocates that safe shelters get built, emergency and support

services are provided to survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault, and awareness is brought to the community. It is because of the voice of advocates that new laws get passed. Because you are an advocate, you are reading this newsletter.

Speak up Speak out Speak now But that is simply not enough. Make no mistake, domestic violence is alive and well in our community. It only takes one afternoon of listening to the news to realize the extent of what the Texas Council on Family Violence details in their latest report: 74 percent of Texans either know a friend or family member who has experienced domestic violence, or have personally experienced it themselves—yet only 20 percent indicate they have reported the abuse. In order to be an advocate of domestic violence, you have to stand up for the cause. Crimes against our children and our families are on the rise. We must make a stand together with one collective voice. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Don’t be part of the stigma of silence, be a part of the solution. Speak up, speak out, and speak now. Your donations and services are always appreciated, but more than anything, they are desperately needed in order to ensure services are provided to our extended family—the women, children, and men in our shelters.

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Board Directors President Debra Danhof Vice President Jeanine Caraway Secretary Tina Strand Treasurer David Scott Board Members Beverly Black Chief Larry Boyd Chief Robert D. Brown Gregory Cashman Lynne Haze Chief Keith Humphrey Rhonda Lenard Rebecca Lopez Jody Morris Robbin Murley Deidre Smith Rev. Charles Wolford Senior Staff Executive Director Neystal Howard-Jones Dir. of Business Becky Fowler Volunteer Coord. Mellony Martin Exec. Assistant Angela Faulkner Dir. of Client Services Allison Sharpe DV Coordinator Brandy Smith Sexual Assault Coord. Kim Hekmatyar Prevention Specialist Stephany Edwards Children’s Coord. Maegon d’Agrella Shelter Case Managers Sara Campos Debbie Castellanos, Marcella Santillan

At Brighter Tomorrows, we strive to meet the needs of those disenfranchised by abuse and sexual violence. Our employees are so passionate about serving children and families, that they regularly sacrifice personal time to ensure a child has a safe place to sleep, to help a struggling mother find the proper childcare while she is at work… to improve the life of a child, a teen, and a family. Imagine if you will, a mother of six children (ages 1-15) facing a very uncertain time. For a moment, put yourself in her shoes: o Your husband was just convicted of domestic violence for attacking you and your children. o Now you have six mouths to feed and no job. o You’d like to reach out to your family, but they won’t help. o You don’t know how you’ll pay for food and housing, let alone gifts for the holidays. o You just gave back the only car you have because you can’t afford the payments….Imagine, six children, no car, no job and no hope. A scenario like this is very common in one of our shelters. However, even though this is where her story begins with us, it is not how it ends. We are uniquely qualified to advocate on her behalf and watch her transition from crisis to self- sufficiency; thanks to the generous support of donors like you. As an agency, we refuse to sit idly by watching those that are hurting, neglected and abused. We will be that place of refuge. Leading into this holiday season, as you enjoy the comforts that life has afforded you, consider making someone else’s world a little BRIGHTER. Thank you. Neystal Howard-Jones Executive Director

Transitional Housing Larry Matthews, CM Ann Thompson, Life Skills Sandra Trigo, Bilingual CM

Shelter Coordinators Lulu Molinas Amber Oliphant

Hotline Kim Bax

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KNOW the FACTS

The Devastating Facts:

Your Impact:

• 136 women killed by an intimate partner • 189, 401 incidents recorded of family violence • 11,776 adults received shelter from abusive relationships • 15,591 children received shelter • 47% of all Texans have personally experienced some form of domestic abuse • 5.2 million Hispanic Texans are personally affected by the epidemic of domestic violence

• Volunteering saves us time and money for necessary resources • For $25, you can provide meals for a mother and two children for three days • For $40, you help us answer a day’s worth of crisis hotline calls • For $100, you shelter and mother and two her two children for one night • For $200, you guarantee counseling sessions for former victims of sexual abuse

(Texas Council on Family Violence, Abuse in Texas)

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Meet three of our amazing board members.

We like to call them Community Heroes-at-Large. You can call them Chief.

Why did you decide to get involved with Brighter Tomorrows? Chief Keith Humphrey has 23 years of law enforcement experience, and became Chief of Lancaster Police in 2008.

“Everyone’s assistance is needed to make a difference in the fight against domestic violence.” During my childhood, a neighbor killed her husband after years of physical and emotional abuse. She didn’t receive any assistance during this time of abuse because it was considered a “civil matter.” I personally watched my neighbor give up on life because she was not offered proper resources. Since then, police departments have partnered with agencies like Brighter Tomorrows to increase awareness and provide education on domestic violence. This agency symbolizes hope and positive change; it helps victims become survivors. To actually see former victims actively working within the organization speaks volumes about what Brighter Tomorrows means to the community. We need to remember domestic violence and sexual assault are not related to a specific ethnic origin, gender, or socioeconomic status. Everyone’s assistance is needed to make a difference in the fight against domestic violence.

“Your contributions just might change the outcome of a victim’s life.”

Chief Robert Brown has nearly 30 years of experience, and become Chief of Duncanville Police in 2007.

Domestic violence ruins families. The breakdown of the family unit is a major contributor to increased crime, and I have seen far too many victims over the course of my law enforcement career. Brighter Tomorrows has an outstanding commitment to helping these families and individuals. Children need parents that are stable and can act as role models. When families feel safe, communities tend to prosper. As a police officer, you are called during the heat of domestic battles. We see the broken furniture, injuries, frightened children, and tears. By supporting Brighter Tomorrows, you are committing yourself to helping others and addressing a major benefactor to community crime.

“Brighter Tomorrows makes sure my officers always have options and opportunities to offer victims of domestic abuse.” The desire to protect has always made me wonder what more could be done to prevent domestic violence. I recognized early in my career that police intervention would offer no guarantee that the abuse would stop. Having been in the police force for so long, I remember when victims had no choice but to stay in abusive relationships. It was these experiences that prompted me to join Brighter Tomorrows. This agency provided the only shelter option for my officers when they responded to a crime. This shelter option may be the only difference between getting out of an abusive relationship and continuing in an ever-escalating abusive relationship.

Chief Larry Boys has 29 years of law enforcement experience and is the Irving Police Chief.

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Want to know how you can support Brighter Tomorrows this Fall? North Texas GET UP & GIVE! Wed. Sept. 8

9 / 8

Support Brighter Tomorrows by giving online between the hours of 7 AM and 7 PM at www.donortx.org. Donations will be matched!

Food! Fire! Fun! Sunday, Oct. 10

10/10

Carino’s will donate 10% of your check to us. Come in and bring friends and family! (Please tear off and take the voucher on the last page of the newsletter.)

510 W. IH 635, Irving, TX, 75063 972-409-0530

Assassination Roller Derby benefitting Brighter Tomorrows!

10/23

11/01

The nationally ranked Special Ops will take on the West Texas Travel Team from Lubbock, TX at the only women’s flat track roller derby in Dallas County. Check out their website for tickets, venue, and team info. Hurry! Tickets sell out quickly. www.acderby.com

ADOPT-A-FAMILY for Christmas

The holidays are just around the corner, and we need advocates like you to adopt a family in time for a much deserved and special Christmas. Please contact Mellony Martin at mellony@brightertomorrows.net or 972-263-0506.

Would you like to sponsor a Third-Party event for DVAM? Call us! Mourn Celebrate Connect Third-party events are put on by Brighter Tomorrows advocates without the supervision of BT staff. Past events have included church or social luncheons and teas, fashion shows, birthday parties, etc. Please contact Brandy Smith. 972-263-3126.

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Fall into Volunteering... Dear Volunteers,

Coming Attractions:

I would like to first start by saying we appreciate you! There has been a great response these summer months with the Needs Drives, but please do not stop there. The supplies that you have given our clients helped us in more ways than you will ever know. Let us keep the momentum going. I admonish you that if you have not already gotten started please do so and host a drive for needed items for our safe shelters. These drives can be hosted at your church, work, or school. We are still in great need for all of the items listed below.

Sept. 2010 Volunteer Newsletter Fall 2010 Volunteer Appreciation Luncheon Chocolate & Chic: March 19, 2011 Want to volunteer? E-mail me at Mellony@brightertomorrows.net

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City bus passes Door stops Windows Queen, full, and twin mattresses Living room sets Pots and pans Face and bath towels Steam cleaner Hair stylists certificates Personal hygiene products New dresses Laundry detergent

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Thank you for making a difference! Mellony Martin

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Cleaning supplies Tissue and paper towels Doors Strollers Tub and sink fixtures Electric stove and oven combo Car seats and toddler booster Heating pads Boy’s boxes and undershirts (size 10-16) Underwear and socks (all sizes) Twin bed and frame

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Plastic gloves Plastic zip mattress covers Mops Pea gravel/river rock/Cleveland stone GPS Garmin Home Depot gift cards Twin/full bunks or frames Washers and dryers Carpet and carpet layers

Thank you to our Back-to-School supply drive donors! * Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, Irving, TX * Matthew Road Baptist Church, Grand Prairie, TX * Lockheed Martin, Grand Prairie, TX * The Vine Church, Grapevine, TX

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We appreciate the many contributions we receive from our supporters. This list includes donations received from June 1st through August 30, 2010. The Allstate Foundation American Giving Campaign AT&T United Way Employee Giving Campaign Bank of America United Way City of Grand Prairie City of Irving City of Irving, Community Affairs Combined Federal Campaign of N. Central TX Community Missionary Baptist Church of Desoto County Treasurer, County of Dallas Desoto Christian Church Desoto Elks Loge # 2552 First Christian Church First United Methodist Church Grand Prairie Professional Baseball, LP Grand Prairie Women’s Sorority GRC Wireless, Inc. Hackberry Creek Church Horace Mann

JP Morgan Chase & Co. Kirkwood United Methodist Church Lockheed Martin, Vought Heritage Lone Star Park Charitable Foundation Moms’ Club of Grand Prairie Morgan Stanley Northern Entertainment # 3 Safeway, Inc. Saint Francis Catholic Church St. Luke’s Episcopal Church Texas Health Organization Texas Mutual Insurance The First Christian Church of Lancaster The McGraw-Hill Companies Truist TXU Energy United Way Campaign of New Jersey United Way of Metro Dallas United Way of Tarrant County VHA, Inc. Mrs. Barbara Bardwell Ms. Sharon Blackman

Ms. Wende Burton Mrs. Carol Campbell Ms. Janice Character Ms. Valdena Coleman Mr. James Dougan Mr. H.L. Edwards Mrs. Veronica Frazier Mrs. Roselind A. Height Ms. Allison Jackson Mr. Robert Linnstaedt Mrs. Rebecca Lopez Mrs. Thalia Matherson Mr. Jeffrey Moore Mrs. Jody Morris Mrs. Paula Murley Ms. Gwendolyn Oliver Mr. James Reed Ms. Alexis Robinson Mrs. Sarah Smith Mrs. Mary Square Mrs. Earnestine Williams

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A huge thank you to all the Allstate employees and the Allstate Foundation for your support. And a special thank you to Anita! We appreciate all you do!

Anita Embry

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Fifty-seven Brighter Tomorrow supporters showed up as extras for Friday Night Lights. Thank you for helping us raise $1,140 for a night of football and fun!

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B r i g h t e r T o m o r r o w s Staff

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Tell us about yourself: Professionally, I’ve worked in the social work field for several years now. Personally, I am married with a beautiful toddler, Bella, and another baby on the way. Why did you choose Brighter Tomorrows? I was already familiar with the agency’s work in the community. It’s values towards family and safety coincide with mine. Our Case Manager, Debbie Castellanos, with her daughter, Bella. Seeing a client leave the shelter with hope and confidence, whether it’s because he/she found more permanent housing, obtained a protective order, or finally found a job. What do you love most about your job?

What were you most surprised about regarding your job? That the case load can vary so drastically from week to week. One week I could see multiple clients and their children entering and exiting the shelter while the very next week could be very quiet and calm. Describe a typical day: That involves a lot of paperwork and documenting but also visiting with each shelter resident. They will come into my office to give me an overview of their progress so far, and we will discuss the steps that are needed for them to advance in their independence and safety. Most days also include at least one trip out in the agency van, transporting a resident to an appointment. Most days are very busy and can be unpredictable!

Our case manager, Sara Campos

What do you love most about your job?

Tell us one surprising fact about you or your family. My parents have been missionaries since before I was born and are currently serving in Guatemala. They are so legit. Everyone should meet them Why did you choose Brighter Tomorrows? I was won over by the fact that Brighter Tomorrows had a higher success rate than the other social work organizations. I decided to intern for the summer, which was soon extended into the fall semester, then the winter, spring, summer… and the rest is history!

We bring in families and individuals who have all suffered tragedies and offer them a safe place to begin to heal. Everything about my job communicates the possibility of an alternative to their past; it offers hope for a better life. Every immediate, tangible need I can meet turns that possibility further into reality. I love that! Describe a typical day: Caffeine. Clients. Paperwork. Repeat.

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C T O B E R O Domestic Violence Awareness Month

C T U B R MES DE LA CONSCIENTIZACION SOBRE LA VIOLENCIA DOMESTICA

24 Hour Hotline: 972-262-8383 Toll Free: 1-866-925-7233 P.O. BOX 532151 Grand Prairie, TX 75053

24 Línea Directa de la Hora: El Peaje del 972-262-8383 Liberta: 1-866-925-7233

PLEASE PASS THESE FLYERS OUT WITH A PURPLE RIBBON THROUGHOUT THE MONTH OF OCTOBER.

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P.O. Box 532151 Grand Prairie, TX 75053

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Autumn Advocate 2010