PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, NOT JUST YOUR WEDDING coaching or counseling can benefit your relationship:
Kensi Duszynski, MA, LMFT, CPC Brave Marriage Coaching & Therapy Your wedding date is set. You’ve said yes to the dress. You’re feeling excited and more ready than ever for your big day, but have you considered the days that come after your wedding? Couples often place so much emphasis on the wedding day that they forget to prepare for the marriage that follows! Contrary to popular belief, marriage is radically different from dating, engagement, or living together. Once commitments are made and rings are exchanged, new issues often emerge unexpectedly. Couples who aren’t prepared for this reality may find themselves caught off guard once the honeymoon is over. However, couples who are proactive about preparing for marriage are 30 percent more likely to stay happily married and are better equipped to handle whatever may come their way. So how can you best prepare for your marriage? Consider hiring a premarital coach or counselor. Think about it: When you began planning for your wedding, did you say to yourself, “I think I’ll just wing it and hope our wedding day turns out the way I’ve always wanted it to?” Of course not! You likely began gathering resources, meeting with a wedding planner/coordinator, and hiring the right people to help you pull off your dream wedding. You were proactive. Hiring a premarital coach or counselor can ease your mind and calm your heart, knowing you did everything you could to plan for an amazing marriage. Here are three ways premarital
1. You get tailored-to-you marriage advice. When it comes to your future marriage, whose help do you want in shaping it? While you may trust the wisdom of your parents, in-laws, mentors, or friends, each of those relationships holds a bias. Whether you realize it or not, this bias affects the way your loved ones advise you as you navigate personality differences, relationship dynamics, sex, finances, family and in-laws. The benefit of premarital coaching is that you receive a professional, third party perspective on your relationship, plus research-based assessment and feedback. Moreover, you receive all of this from someone whose training and expertise is in helping your marriage thrive.
As you can see, it is worth the investment to find a premarital coach to guide you toward the marriage you’ve always wanted. If you decide premarital coaching or counseling is worth it to you, make sure to find a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) or a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPCC) who is trained and credentialed in Prepare-Enrich or Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. There’s no doubt that your wedding day will be a day to remember− but making your marriage one for the record books is up to you! Congratulations as you plan and prepare for the wedding of your dreams. May your marriage be just as beautiful.
2. You learn to set realistic expectations. Few of us ever think twice about our expectations for marriage beforehand. We often assume things will go according to plan, or that our fiancé sees the world in the exact same way we do− when nothing could be further from real life. Premarital coaching gives you the opportunity to make your expectations and assumptions clear upfront. This gives you and your fiancé the chance to discuss what you do and do not agree on− and how to navigate your differences. Setting realistic expectations at the beginning also gives you time to adjust your mindset now, so that you’re not caught off guard later on. 3. You acquire essential skills for marriage. Engaged couples often assume they have everything they need to make love last. But the truth is, marriage requires intentionality and strategy, not just hope and a prayer. Are you certain that you and your fiancé are capable of creating and sticking to a budget? How well do you currently communicate your concerns and assert your desires in a way that regularly results in deeper intimacy (think about your conversations around sex, money, major life choices, or in-laws)? How will you two handle things and keep love alive when you experience distance or disagree? Premarital coaching empowers you to answer those questions confidently by providing you with the skillset you need to create a shared life that you both love. Photo credit: Ashlyn Riley Photography
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