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11th October 2011, Volume 19, Issue 02

UCC climbs world rankings and boasts prestigious award Graham McAuliffe Deputy News Editor

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he Sunday Times has named University College Cork ‘Irish University of the Year’. This is not the first time the university has topped the polls in Ireland, winning the title previously in 2003 and 2005. UCC has also showed an increase in the QS world rankings, rising from 184 last year to 181, one of only two third level establishments in Ireland to do so. The rise in world rankings is not the sole reason for UCC’s award. The university boasts an immensely diverse cultural population amongst nearly 20,000 registered students. Furthermore, over two thirds of graduates in 2011 achieved 2H1 degrees, and only 7% failed to gain employment within nine months of graduation. Researchers at UCC also continue to pave the way with innovative inventions. Two of these developments achieved the Irish ‘Best Invention’ award for 2011; a device for treating lung cancer and a revolutionary microchip technology. When asked about the award, Mr. Con O’Brien, Vice President for the Student Experience, stated: “The designation raises the profile of the institution. It is the third time that UCC has been designated University of the Year

which is unique in the Irish university system. This award reflects UCC’s outstanding record in research, the high quality of its student experience, the huge success of its Access programme and the employability of its grad-

cation Authority, UCC has the largest combined population of mature students, traveller students, students with a disability, and students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, proving UCC’s Access program an excel-

grounds to be awarded the Green Flag for an environmentally friendly campus; the graduate employment rate is at an impressive 93% regardless of the national economic situation; UCC also won an award for its Confu-

"Radical Economist David McWilliams addresses Economics Society"

uates. This achievement will improve the attractiveness of UCC as a first choice preference for students”. According to the Higher Edu-

lent success. The Sunday Times further hailed UCC with other noteworthy achievements: the campus was the first Irish university

cius Institute for Irish education in Chinese language and culture. The University of the Year award is not the only high profile award UCC has won of late. On

September 5th 2011 UCC was named a five star university in accordance with QS world rankings, an award never bestowed upon an Irish university in the past. This award has increased UCC’s position within the top 2% of universities worldwide and has placed the college in 100th position for employers. UCC President Dr. Michael Murphy told national media: “becoming Ireland’s first five star university and improving UCC’s world-ranking position by 205 places in the last six years is an outstanding achievement. It is a credit to the University as a whole, and to the university academic community in particular, that we have made such a significant improvement in the world rankings. It takes hard work and dedication on the part of the entire UCC staff to ensure that the University continues to have such a high international profile, one consistent with the standards we set for ourselves and with our ambition always to excel.”


EDITORIALS Towards greener pastures

news@uccexpress.ie

02 Editiorials

Byron Murphy Editor

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pon speaking to the Irish Diaspora forum in Dublin last weekend, Bill Clinton applauded Irelands attempt at improving its economic standing, stating that he felt we should be back on track in 5 years.

Back on track presumably refers here to a more realistic and sustainable level of economic growth and not the success seen pre-recession. This is great news for any first year currently starting in UCC, but for recent and soon to be graduates this is an incredibly long time. Bearing in mind the fact that unemployment seems to be stabilising around 14.5% the situation is not as bleak as I would have anticipated this time last year, but 5 more years of recovery essentially means a decade lost to low employment and mass emigration. For those of us gracing the exit door of UCC with our presence,

emigration indeed seems to be an appealing prospect. I fully believe that jobs exist in Ireland for those who actively seek it, but it is a lot harder to find graduate careers and people are being forced to settle. Contrast the rate of those jobless here with the same figure in the UK, it’s half as much (7.8%). In the Australia, it’s 5.3%. Little wonder so many of those who received their parchments in September hopped on a flight shortly afterwards. Rather than arguing how Ireland requires patience and talking about how we should give back to the state which gave us an education, I’m going to say that those people have the right idea. Opportunities exist in Ireland at a much smaller rate than they do elsewhere, and why would anyone want to allow geographical ties

“Stay hungry, stay foolish.”

Brian Byrne Deputy Editor

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ast Wednesday, Steve Jobs, the co-founder, chairperson and former chief executive officer of Apple, Inc. passed away after a seven year battle with pancreatic cancer. I don’t know what Jobs’ last words were, but if the

University College Cork

Express Editor:

Byron Murphy editor@uccexpress.ie News Editor/Deputy Editor: Brian Byrne news@uccexpress.ie Design Editor: Joan St Leger layout@uccexpress.ie

plethora of inspirational quotes circulating the interwebs are anything to go by, I’m betting it was something as equally inspirational as the title of this editorial. Clearly, Steve Jobs was a wildly talented and successful individual. He was a 21 year old college dropout when, with fellow computer whizzes Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne, he founded Apple, Inc. By Jobs’ 23rd birthday he had earned $1,000,000. When he was 24, he had $10,000,000, and when he was 25, $100,000,000. But the purpose of this editorial is not to fawn over Steve Jobs or his creations. I own an Photo Editor: Emmet Curtin photoeditor@uccexpress.ie Features Editor: John Barker features@uccexpress.ie Political Editor Audrey Walsh opinion@uccexpress.ie Entertainment Editor: Kevin O'Neill entertainment@uccexpress.ie

iPhone and iPod but I was never an Apple ‘fanboy’. I have never queued at a midnight release and do not pay regular visits to Compu b to play with the newest MacBook or iPad. And I certainly don’t look down on owners of Android and Windows phones, even if I do believe they are decidedly lesser than me. My aim is not to discuss what Jobs created, but rather, what he taught us. On several occasions, Jobs made it clear that it was never about the money. One glance at an iPhone or iPod will surely tell you that. When a person is passionate about something, they will work at it to the best of their ability. They will achieve things others will never achieve; in Jobs’ case, the products mentioned above. Jobs loved what he did; it just so happened he made millions from it. Music Editor: Jack Broughan music@uccexpress.ie Arts and Literature Editor: Tracy Nyhan arts@uccexpress.ie Gaming Editor: Sam Marks gaming@uccexpress.ie Fashion Editor: Kathryn O'Regan fashion@uccexpress.ie Fiction Editor: Christine Dilworth newcorker@uccexpress.ie

get in the way of success and, hopefully happiness? Even if only for a few months, I could not recommend working abroad strongly enough. Two years ago I spend an entire summer unable to find a job at home and last year, after a trip across to Yank-land it took roughly two weeks to achieve the same goal. Not only did I earn money, but I earned lots of money and did so while sleeping in the back of a truck between moving furniture up 8 flights of stairs. It was the best job I’ve ever had, and I couldn’t perform the same role here. Of course, without a SafePass course I’d unquestionably be killed. Embarking on a J1 or an Erasmus is a great demonstration of just how easy it is to work and live in a completely different en-

vironment, and it comes with a free wealth of experiences and new people to meet. This is reward in itself, if one were to find living away from home long term not to ones liking. Personally I plan on evacuating this burning building before the roof collapses and this lucrative philosophy business which I find myself takes a downturn. I know that I won’t be alone, and like so many of our ancestors we are witnessing a brain drain, a mass exodus, or whatever you want to call it. It’s possible that those who remain will see their hard work bear fruit and will forge the life they want here in our beautiful country. I’m just not going to be one who takes that risk.

And this is precisely what he taught us. Jobs may have been wildly talented, but that talent would have been wasted had he not the determination to make use of it every single day. In Office Space, Peter Gibbons is a white collar worker who, like many, loathes his job. Gibbons recalls, “Our high school guidance counsellor used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars and didn't have to work. And invariably, whatever you'd say, that was supposed to be your career.” Gibbons never had an answer, and as a result he never had anything to work towards. He never had a goal. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t have ended up at a horrible, soul-crushing place like Initech. But I’m not trying to induce fear. I’m not saying you have to break the mould; that otherwise you will end up taking your anger out on a temperamental printer as

Gibbons did. Instead, I’m suggesting that you find something you love. Find something you love that you do every day, and find a way to make money from it. For me, it’s writing; for you, it’s probably something else entirely. I firmly believe that those who want something hard enough will get it. It might take a long time, and there will almost certainly be many, many failures along the way, but one day, if you are determined, passionate and motivated enough, you will get to where you want to be. As Steve Jobs himself once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”

TV and Film editor: Niamh Áine Ryan screen@uccexpress.ie Deputy News Editor: Graham McAuliffe deputynews@uccexpress.ie Deputy Features Editor: Michelle Moore deputyfeatures@uccexpress.ie Deputy Music Editor: Mark Roche deputymusic@uccexpress.ie Advertising: Eoghan Healy comms@uccsu.ie

Contributors: Luke Crowley-Holland, Claire Crowley, Chris Kelleher, Kate Doran, Gregory Higgins, Patrick Corkery, Laura Harmon, LisaJuliet MacDonough, Geraldine Carey, Fergal Carroll, Lynn Harding, Daniel Kiniry, Ailish Heffernan, David Toms, Mike Twomey, David Mulcahy Photography Contributors: Aoife Corcoran, Sam Marks and Siobhan O' Connell


03 News

October 11th 2011

Presidential candidate visits UCC Luke Crowley-Holland

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ne week into the launch of the most contested presidential election in the history of the state, UCC welcomed presidential hopeful Michael D. Higgins. In an evening, jointly hosted by the Law and Philosophical Societies, the Labour candidate and presidential front-runner delivered a passionate and honest talk in which he laid out his own political vision and why he should be the 9th president of Ireland. The evening was originally billed as a lively debate between Higgins and Gay Mitchell. However the Fine Gael candidate was unable to attend in a week when Mitchell saw his popularity

plummet as the election begins to look like it may become a two horse race between Higgins and independent Seán Gallagher. A Red C poll released on 6 October, the day of Higgins’ visit, has him leading with 25 per cent of the vote, followed by Gallagher on 21 per cent. The former TD and Minister began the evening with a speech in which he highlighted his vision for Ireland, the economy and discussed his passion for the left, his time in government and his plans should he be elected to the Áras. Higgins spoke about how social protection and the economy should go hand in hand and that, he believes, what’s needed is a “strong connection between morality and economics” along with “radical inclusive citizen

ship.” He condemned the attitudes that developed towards wealth and the economy during the economic boom. Instead advocating a direction based on creativity and social economics with “an Irishness that focuses on heritage and genius.” He emphasized the importance of protecting the venerable in economic policy. He touched on his long involvement in politics, including his time spent as Minister for ‘Arts, Culture and the Gaeltacht’, highlighting how the steps he took grew the Arts industry in Ireland. Higgins also underlined his passion for, and the importance of, human rights and equality in society throughout his speech. In addition, Higgins, first elected as a TD in 1983, made clear the respect he has for his fel

low candidates and their opinions, however an earlier reference to age was an obvious jibe at the perception that the Dragon’s Den investor, presidential opponent Seán Gallagher, has the advantage of youth. Once his speech was concluded the audience in Boole 4 had the opportunity to deliver questions to Higgins, both in English and ás Gaeilge. In response to the first question, regarding the presidential salary and benefits, Michael D. stated that he would not be drawing a pension should he be elected and would support the government should they further decrease the annual salary, €249,014, which was reduced by more than €75,000 last month. Higgins, when queried, also came down in favour of imple

menting gay marriage before finishing by articulately showing his support for the mandatory reporting of child abuse. Shortly after the Q&A Michael D. concluded the evening by pledging, were he elected, to dedicate himself to “the welfare of the people.” The election will be held on 27 October and, with two remaining television debates scheduled for the 18th and 24th, there is still plenty of time for another swing in the polls. However, it will take something sizeable to remove Higgins from the top spot in the public eye, despite the momentum carried by Gallagher.

Radical economist addresses Economics Society Brian Byrne Deputy Editor/News Editor

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avid McWilliams, one of Ireland’s leading economic commentators and best-selling author, discussed the state of the Irish economy last week to the Economics Society of University College Cork. Mr. McWilliams is well-known for his radical views, and was the first economist to predict the downfall of the Celtic Tiger. He was joined by Dr. Nat O’ Connor, Director of TASC (Thinktank for Action on Social Change), a successful group that strives to ensure equality in society even through the harshest Economic conditions. Mr. McWilliams believes the Irish economy was destroyed by the “banking elite”. He stated, “They have enriched themselves and given the bill to the average guy. By raising the national debt of this country to pay for the banks, we are borrowing from tomorrow, not to pay for today, but to pay for yesterday. We will have absolutely no economic return from this money.” He is of the opinion that our generation will see the brunt of

this. “You will pay, in emigration and in monumental levels of unemployment. This is as a result of bad choices.” McWilliams believes we are in a crisis, and that the most important thing we can do is “define our reality”. He explained, “Once you define your reality, the crisis is always much more bearable than you imagine it to be. If we do this in Ireland, we can get through our crisis more easily.” “We spend far too much time in Ireland trying to be the good boy in class, the teacher’s pet. But sometimes, we should seek common sense with the messers in the back.” Mr. McWilliams said we should take example from Greece, a country that, according to international reports, has a 98% chance of defaulting on its debt. “Sometimes, being delinquent is the way out of things,” he said. “Your generation will not fulfil your potential living in a country that is carrying so much debt, particularly if the debt has not been used to create productive infrastructure in the country to raise productivity and our wages.”

"Members of the Economics Society pose with economist David McWilliams and TASC Director Nat O' Connor"

The primary aim, Dr. O’ Con nor of TASC believes, should be to increase employment. “The bank bailout is important, but it can’t be our only target. If we only work on the banking system, it’s only going to repair one small

set of relationships. We need to look at all relationships that we need for a functioning economy, and for a functioning society.” Ultimately, Mr. McWilliams urged those in attendance to use economics to their

advantage. “Use it to think for yourself, strengthen your own position, work it out in your head, and you will never have the wool pulled over your eyes.”


04 News

October 11th 2011

UCC students launch Cork Humanists group Audrey Ellard Walsh Political Editor

tion to Humanism after the birth of his first child in 2004, and the importance placed upon religion and baptism. Many had come with children and expressed interest in the fostering of non-religious traditions and regular meeting focused on family and discussion. Asked about what she views to be the most important issue for humanism, Ms. Hoey spoke about secular education. “I’d say the majority of us have been through a school system which was heavily influenced by the Catholic Church, so I think that is something about which people should be concerned and should want their voices heard.” Amongst the other issues

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CC students Annie Hoey and Aaron Keohane have launched Cork Humanists, a group which seeks to provide a social outlet for people who wish to come together to discuss Humanism and what it means in their everyday lives. The launch took place in the Imperial Hotel and included over 60 selfconfessed non-believers. The age demographic ranged from infants to couples in their 70s with a large student cohort. The guest speaker was Humanist Celebrant Pierce de Courcy who described his own introduc-

discussed was the silent discrimination against the non-religious and those who want to live in a secular society. Humanism, Ms. Hoey explained, is not a religion, but rather a philosophy based on ethics and equality for the benefit of all. Aaron Blake, a Biological Sciences student, described the importance of a group such as the Cork Humanists to him: “I grew up in a later generation so I didn’t have to conform as much as older people, so I guess it’s easier for me to be a humanist or an atheistwhichever I identify with. But in the generation and the century that we’re in it’s more important to be realistic about ethics rather than

things like divine intervention being responsible for the unknown.” Eoin Murray, a Maths Science student, came to the meeting out of curiosity. “Anything that opens up people’s minds, especially in Ireland, is brilliant. I’m just in favour of free thinking really and I was interested in what it was about.” The group is still in its infancy but the interest shown at the first meeting indicates a hunger for more discussion around the area of Humanism and secular living. Ms. Hoey explained, “We don’t want it to become an overly political movement. I suppose the issue is striking a balance between it being

a social group and also for people to feel that they can have their voices heard. I don’t want people to come to the group and feel like they have a really burning issue and that we’re not listening to them, but I also don’t want people who are here for the social side and feel rallied into getting involved in things they’d much rather not. But we’d certainly like Cork Humanists to work as a platform for people’s voices to be heard within Ireland.” Cork Humanists will be hosting a discussion on the topic of secular education on Sunday the 6th of November, and a talk on the importance of family ritual in December.

“Significant progress” made on uranium disposal Brian Byrne Deputy Editor/News Editor

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uthorities at University College Cork are “hopeful” that more than 2 tonnes of uranium currently in storage in a small reactor on

campus can be removed to a safe location. The material stems from a student training reactor which was received by UCC in the 1970s and disassembled in the early 1980s. Despite the existence of the reactor, Cork claims to be a “nuclear free zone”, as advertised on prominent road-signs on the

"The Dever Lecture Centre, beneath which the reactor is believed to be stored"

south side of the city. While the Irish Times and Peoples Republic of Cork website previously speculated the existence of the reactor, the first official confirmation came when Minister for Education and Skills Ruairí Quinn was forced to acknowledge its existence in a writ-

ten answer to parliament. He said “significant progress” has been made on the issue as of late. "UCC no longer has any use for this SCA and would like to dispose of the radioactive material. However, disposing of such a large volume of such material presents unique technical and ad ministrative problems. It is too early to assess thecosts that will be associated with disposal at this time." UCC authorities, in consultation with the Radiological Protection Institute of Ireland (RPII), invested significant time and effort over the past number of years in resolving these problems, and are hopeful for a resolution. Cork South Central Labour TD Ciarán Lynch told national media it was essential a solution be found quickly. "This is an issue that has dragged on over a long number of years and has been a legacy problem ever since the device first arrived at the university," he said. "I’m glad that the re sponse by the minister

shows some progress has been made on the matter and that some resolution now looks like it can be found. But I would be calling on the minister and the university to ultimately and finally determine a safe solution to this in which the device and the material will be actually moved off the UCC campus." Mr Quinn stressed the uranium was stored securely in a "proprietary radioactive waste store" built to a RPII-approved design. He explained, "The material is held at UCC under licence from the RPII, and RPII inspectors regularly inspect this store in addition to inspections by the EU and by the IAEA. The radioactive material is stored under strict physical and electronic security including continuous CCTV monitoring. The store is never entered except for the purposes of inspection." Mr Quinn said the RPII had inspected the store last June and had been "satisfied" with the security arrangements.


05 News

October 11th 2011

“Most charismatic man in science” speaks at UCC Fergal Carroll

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he UCC Centre of Global Development (CGD) held its first event in its ‘Global Challenges Lecture Series’ last Tuesday night as Dr. Robert Gallo, co-discoverer of the link between HIV and AIDs, gave a talk to a packed Boole 4. The talk was titled ‘Viruses, Epidemics, and Means to Control them: with emphasis on HIV/Aids’ which included details on both his past and current work as well as some heated questions from the audience. Described as the “most charismatic man in science” by Tom Cotter, the head of the Biochemistry department at UCC, Dr. Gallo holds 29 honorary degrees and numerous awards, including two Lasker awards. The group of virologists he worked with throughout his career have unearthed many viruses such as

GALV-H (Gibbon Ape Leukemia Virus – Hall’s Island), HTLV (Human TLymphotropic Virus)-1 and 2, HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) and HHV (Human herpesvirus)-6. The talk, which encompassed the basics and history of virology, saw Dr. Gallo speak about the background of his work, including the similarities he noticed between the causes of AIDS and how HTLV was caused by a retrovirus. Dr. Gallo’s work has seen several important practical advancements. The use of a blood test to detect HIV is widely used around the world today as well as therapy to help prevent AIDS. The therapy first began in 1986, but it wasn’t until it was combined with the appropriate drugs from pharmaceutical companies in 1995 that it became widely used. Dr. Gallo emphasised the importance of finding prevention for HIV as it has claimed the lives of 2.1m peo-

ple around the world while the 2004 tsunami killed between 170,000 – 250,000 people. Following Mr. Gallo’s presentation, RTÉ broadcaster Paddy O’ Gorman asked about Gallo’s HIV co-discoverer, Luc Montagnier, and his current work on homeopathy. Dr. Gallo outright dismissed the work, and became visibly incensed when Mr. O’ Gorman mentioned Montagnier’s recipient of the Nobel Prize. Controversy has surrounded the discovery of HIV, and that Dr. Gallo did not receive a Nobel Prize alongside Montagnier in 2008 came as a surprise to many. Looking to the future, Dr.Gallo recently helped establish the Global Virus Network along with fellow virologists William Hall and Reinhard Kurth. Dr. Gallo stated that there are an insufficient number of trained medical virologists and as a result the organisation’s main aim is to help educate responsible virologists

that will be available for consulting or conducting active research. Its long term goals include developing new approaches to identifying viruses, helping to deliver the correct vaccines/drugs to undeveloped countries as well as the continued development of an effective HIV preventive vaccine. The CGD was created as part of UCC’s Strategic Plan 2009-2012 as result of a group of meetings discussing international and global development. The centre’s intention is to highlight the greater need for collaboration and cooperation between the established and developing world. This talk was the first in a series of the organisation has planned since it was officially opened in May of this year by the Minister of State for

Trade and Development, Ms. Jen O’Sullivan.

Georgian execution sparks death penalty debate Brian Byrne Deputy Editor/News Editor

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n light of the recent highprofile execution of Troy Davis by the US state of Georgia, the University College Cork International Relations and Amnesty International societies last week held a joint debate to discuss the death penalty. Audrey Ellard Walsh, auditor of the UCC Amnesty International Society, opposed it. She argued, “The death penalty is inherently wrong. Beyond being a vengeful and utterly medieval form of justice, capital punishment is ineffectual. It has not been proven to be any more effective at lowering crime rates than any other form of punishment. It does not act as a significant deterrent.” The death penalty was upheld by Barry O’ Gorman, Finance Officer of the Societies Guild Executive and Vice Auditor of the International Relations Society. He said, “There

are some crimes that are so morally monstrous, and some criminals so horrendous and irredeemable that they simply cannot live as part of our society anymore.” Ms. Walsh argued that the death penalty removes the chance of redemption. “It is impossible to

undo. There is always the possibility of a wrongful conviction, always the possibility that an innocent person will be murdered.” Troy Davis, a 42 year old African-American man, was convicted of murdering police officer Mark MacPhail in August 1989.

Despite no physical evidence, numerous appeals and support from former US president Jimmy Carter, Pope Benedict XVI and representatives of the European Parliament, Davis was executed on September 21st 2011. While Mr. O’ Gorman agreed that this particular instance was a “horrendous miscarriage of justice” and that “he should never have been put to death” he does not believe it reflects a problem with the death penalty itself but rather one state’s implementation of it. He stated, “It does not prove an argument for banning the death penalty.” Ultimately, Ms. Walsh shares the belief of Amnesty International that the death penalty directly infringes on the human right to life. She said, “No person, no state, no entity, has the right to take a life, and the jus-

tification of such an act as punishment for that same act is utter hypocrisy.” In response, Mr. O’ Gorman countered that “no right is absolute. Rights always come into conflict with each other. Every state reserves the right to discipline its own people who break the laws implemented by that state.” He accredited Anders Breivik, a Norwegian right-wing extremist responsible for the Norway attacks of July 2011. “Some people exist in a moral vacuum. They can never be redeemed in a significant way. The only proper course of action that state should take to protect itself from those types of people is death.” Following the debate, a show of hands decided that the majority still opposed the death penalty. Ms. Walsh urged those who did to continue to oppose it “in each and every situation”.


06 News

October 11th 2011

WEIRD WIDE WORLD

NEWS IN BRIEF Chris Kelleher

Conference on the ‘Rise of Asia’ takes place in UCC The third annual conference of the Asian Studies Ireland Association (ASIA), entitled: ‘Asia's Rise and Its Impact on Europe and Ireland: Challenges and Opportunities’, was recently held at the River Lee Hotel and in UCC's Devere Hall. It featured a keynote speech from Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs and Trade, Mr Eamon Gilmore. Focusing on a wider range of topics including ‘Doing Business with Asia: Prospects and Challenges’ and ‘Business-level Innovation in Vietnam: Does Location Matter’, were Professor Louis Brennan of TCD, Dr Nicholas O'Brien (EU Advisor, Department of Finance), Dr Declan Jordan of UCC and Mr John Mullins, the President of Cork Chamber. The discussion continued UCC's close links with the Asian region and community.

UCC collaborates in biomedical researchs This week, UCC announced the collaboration with other European Universities and research centres to participate in the European Union Lifelong Learning Erasmus Multilateral Projects 2011. Led by Dr Padraig Cantillon-Murphy from the department of Electrical & Electronic Engineering and Dr Colm O’ Tuathaigh from the School of Medicine, the aim of the project is collaborate on the creation of new treatment solutions and medical devices by both students and researchers.

Claire Crowley

Ninety Seconds or Less A New York entrepreneur has found a way to ensure people don’t have to wait very long for a pizza ever again, by creating a Pizza vending machine. This invention can make a pizza in just 90 seconds and customers can either witness their pizza being made or instead choose to watch a 32-inch television screen inside the vending machine, showing entertainment and ads. The vending machine holds enough ingredients to make 150 pizzas, and all of these ingredients are stored in refrigerated and sealed compartment to ensure they are fresh. Five more machines are currently being built for markettesting purposes.

Milked for all its worth A fashion designer from the German city of Hanover is transforming the fashion world by designing clothes with something that can be bought at the nearest corner shop - milk! Anke Domaske has developed a fabric called QMilch, which is made from high concentrations of the milk protein casein. The casein is extracted from dried milk powder and then heated up in a type of meat-mincing machine. The milk fibre then comes out in strands and is spun into yarn on a spinning machine. QMilch is made from all natural materials, and the QMilch fabric also has many health benefits, said the young designer, who stated that the amino acids in the protein are antibacterial, anti-aging and can help regulate both blood circulation and body temperature.

Student Unions re-launch ‘Night Bus’ initiative

The Elephant is no longer in the Room

The Student Unions of UCC and CIT have launched a ‘Night Bus’ service aimed at providing the student population of Cork City with a cheap and safe mode of transport during the early hours of the morning. Costing just two Euro, the service commences at Four Star Pizza on Washington Street and serves most of the student accommodation complexes (such as Castlewhite and Victoria Mills) before eventually reaching Wilton. This service is run every Tuesday and Thursday before Christmas, every Thursday after Christmas, and is run every day during R&G Week. The departure times from Washington Street range from 1.45am to 3.15am. This is one of many services available to all current students alongside ‘Niteline’, a confidential listening service offered by students for students, and uLink Peer Support, whereby peer support leaders offer practical, emotional and social support to first year students.

An elephant named Five from a Safari Park in the West Midlands, England, decided to go for a nap after a long day- in the middle of a road. His resting spot caused quite a commotion, as shortly after a large traffic jam had formed. The visitors had to wait until the 11,000 lb elephant woke up and went to find a quieter place to rest. Head Zoo Keeper Andy Plumb said “There was a bit of a traffic jam which lasted a fair amount of time as Five was out for the count and there are rocks along the road to stop drivers leaving the track.”


Politics

07 Politics

Emmet Curtin

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n the political circuit, I’ve always decided to choose who to vote for dependent on the person, not on their party. I have nothing against choosing a party, in fact of all the political parties Labour would probably be the ones who my views would be closest to. In UCC, we have a showing of all the political parties, and as their parties have grown and gained success, so have these political societies too. The same remains true of when they lose favour with the public. In a way, they are just mimics of the parties themselves, succeeding when in the majority, and falling when within the minority. So do political societies have a place on Irish campuses? They may do, but it’s not the one that they should have. In UCC, it is forbidden for politicians to come onto campus, canvassing for votes or recruiting for their parties. The only way they can come onto campus is if they are invited to speak here. Political societies are their way of getting around

politics@uccexpress.ie

Do political societies have a place on Irish campuses this however. Political societies can canvass as much as they want and I know of many members of these societies, who at the last general election lead the canvassing for their parties all over the county and beyond. They are recruiting camps for new members into their party’s regime, disguised as a place for students to socialise. Don’t get me wrong, they do socialize, doing what students do best, but the effects of the parties are seen completely. All paraphernalia, all flyers, most finances, they’re all gotten directly from the party. The societies are puppets of the party, being told to “get ‘em while they’re young”. The societies host events of course, often debates on current issues. I went to one or two of these, and it seemed that for the most part it was basically agreeing with everything the party did. Only one or two people spoke out, sometimes only as a joke. They lacked any real passion, it felt like they were just going through the motions,

throwing this debate more as an obligation, rather than an actual debate. I am a part of a debating society, several in fact, and I see debates where outrageous ideas and principles are spouted on a weekly basis. Debating is all about speaking to convince other people to your point of view, not spouting out your political party’s statements on it. There are of course exceptions to the rule, there are speakers who are large parts of their society, and who try to do more with it then is usually expected. There was the YFG protest against the introduction of the conferring fee, with the help of the now defunct Cork Student News, which was successful. There was also the Fianna Fáil “Extend the Night Campaign”, which called for later opening hours for pubs and clubs, but as you can see that has yet to succeed. If there is one thing that I do agree with, which most of the political societies have done, is their campaigns about voter registration.

It is something we should always remain vigilant about, even when we are experiencing times of prosperity. We should never forget we have a voice, a say in who we think should represent. I remember when Alister Campbell visited the University last year, he told students not to join political societies while they were in college, to think freely, to rebel against the government. I would urge people to follow this advice, don’t just follow in the footsteps of your classmates, neighbours or parents. Don’t follow whoever is popular, or whoever is in power. To truly believe in your local TD, you have to think about more than whoever is helping them get into power, and more about the TD themselves. Will they represent your views? Do they have the experience required? There is nothing that political societies do, that needs representation in UCC, or any campus for that matter, except the views of their parties. All of the major parties: Ográ FF, Labour Youth

and YFG all have dozens of meetings on a regular basis across the country. You shouldn’t just join a political party because of free drinks vouchers. There are other societies and clubs in every college, and I would urge you to join them if you are looking to socialise, in places where your interests might be better served. I’m not in favour of staggering political freedom and expression, but I believe that people can do so without having a halfdozen societies to cater to the needs of all of the political parties in the country. I would not be opposed to a single society catering just to people who want to discuss politics, as from what I have seen, some political society members are great for debating amongst each other. But they shouldn’t be allowed canvas for votes, to brainwash people into joining their party. We don’t allow politicians and their followers to come onto campus and do that, so why should our fellow students be given the same rights?

Rossport Solidarity Camp - a “centre for resistance” Audrey Ellard WalshPo- the health and safety concerns updates and updating the website, can be deducted. around the high pressure raw gas writing articles and press releases 3) To seek justice for the human litical Editor

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he 2005 jailing of the “Rossport Five” brought the Shell to Sea campaign to public attention. However that was by no means the beginning, and certainly not the end of local resistance to the Corrib gas project and the building of Shell’s offshore pipeline. I spoke to Cork expat Paul Lynch on his decision to become involved in the campaign and make the move to the Rossport Solidarity Camp permanently. Moving to Galway after studying mechanical engineering in Limerick, Paul was working in the R&D department of a medical device manufacturer in 2005 around the time of the Rossport Five and the beginning of the Shell to Sea campaign. “There were protests at Statoil garages and people running information stalls with leaflets about the jailing of the Rossport 5, the Shell to Sea campaign and the Rossport Solidarity Camp. At the beginning I was most interested in

pipeline planned to run through Rossport.” Paul found himself debating at first whether or not to get involved in the campaign. “I’d never been involved in a campaign or protest before and had some reservations about getting involved - I didn’t want to get arrested or on the wrong side of the law - I was even apprehensive about becoming “known” to the Gardaí.” After attending a weekend gathering at the Rossport Solidarity Camp in 2007 however changed his mind. “I met really nice people and really enjoyed the weekend. There were talks from locals on the history of the campaign and details on the health and safety dangers of the project. The whole weekend was a great experience.” The camp which is nestled amongst the dunes on Glangad beach is run co-operatively with people sharing the duties of cooking, cleaning and setting up tents. On the administrative side work includes sending out campaign

and researching and writing submissions for planning operations. There is massive interest in the camp with 30 or so people living there full time and more visiting for weekends. “The Corrib gas project is a physical manifestation of a lot of what has gone wrong in Ireland and it feels like the struggle up there is becoming a centre of resistance against the corporate takeover of the county as a whole.” The Shell to Sea Campaign has three main aims: 1) That any exploitation of the Corrib gas field be done in a safe way that will not expose the local community in Erris to unnecessary health, safety and environmental risks. 2) To renegotiate the terms of the Great Oil and Gas Giveaway, which sees Ireland’s 10 billion barrels of oil equivalent off the West Coast go directly to the oil companies, with the Irish State retaining a 0% share, no energy security of supply and only 25% tax on profits against which all costs

rights abuses suffered by Shell to Sea campaigners due to their opposition to Shell’s proposed inland refinery. “I think the aims are in line with the pillars of sustainability – social, environmental and economic – they all need to be looked after.” Since 2003, protesters have been successful in stalling the construction of the pipeline through persistent lobbying, consciousness raising and direct action. Construction is stalled in the planning stages with developers most recently conceding that there will be no work commenced until 2014 at least. There is still concern however about what is at stake, especially for the local people who have been living with uncertainty since 2003. According to Paul “The whole local environment and the health and safety of people living up here is in the balance. It’s tough on local people – imagine having to live in fear of a gas explo-

sion with Shell and their private security firm IRMS as neighbours indefinitely.” The camp hosts groups and individuals regularly from around the country. There is an annual gathering in June but also a number of introductory weekends throughout the year. Paul insists that the camp is a very welcoming place and tours of the area and talks from the campaigners can be organised for visitors. If you are interested in getting involved or just learning more, email: rossportsolidaritycamp@gmail.c om or check out www.shelltosea.com.


October 11th 2011

08 Politics

The reality behind political reform Gregory Higgins Anybody with even a vague awareness of Irish politics agrees that the topic of ‘political reform’ has been the ‘hot topic’ in the recent past. Without doubt the last several years have seen unprecedented movement within the Irish political landscape and the next ten years promises to be the beginning of a new chapter within the story of Irish political history. Politics is a funny game. For some it enthralls, whilst for most however, it serves as an occasional event that only arises every four years, or, Ireland being Ireland, crops up when a local or national issue surfaces that causes indignation of some description. The reality of that broad ‘bodypolitic’, and the way that it endures is the most significant part of the equation that has failed to be addressed by those moving this debate forward. Firstly common sense dictates that a person never makes significant decisions when angry. And at this time nobody can argue that the electorate and citizens of this country are angry. I believe that politicians have failed totally in understanding the distrust and general dislike of those that exist within the political system. The Ireland of 2011 is a very different place from the Ireland of ten years ago, and when compared to the Ireland of nineteen 1991 cannot argue that DeVelera’s Ireland is broadly comparable to the Ireland of today. Indeed one could argue that the only organisation that has persisted in a dominant fashion throughout this period is the GAA. Others still exist but haven’t maintained momentum throughout that period. During the current period of economic and political malaise people have argued that the machinery of the state is not fit for purpose. Parties and citizens have proposed reducing the number of elected officials or abolishing the Senate, along with other more extreme and elaborate measures to overcome the breach that they feel exists between the state and its people. My view, conversely, is that by proposing and implementing these broad and sweeping changes, we are entering into an exercise that in all likelihood will bring about nothing more than bit-part change. Claiming that political reform, as mooted by the current government and political parties nationwide, is tantamount to nothing more than tokenistic politics is an audacious claim. However, I believe that if we fail to understand how we got here in the first place, we are liable to follow the same path and repeat the same negative patterns

that brought us to where we are today. Reform of the institutions won’t bring about a better Ireland in the years to come unless the caliber of politicians that we elect onto those bodies improves. This is where we as voters need to be honest with ourselves. If we elect sub-par individuals into the Dáil, then we must be held accountable for those decisions. If we elect T.D’s based on what they promised the local community council or whatever else you can toss into the ‘parish pump’ style of politician that has existed in this country since independence, then we will do nothing else other than remain within the status-quo. Unfortunately this honesty is something that does not exist amongst the broad electoral base. We need to remember that the country voted for Fianna Fáil on three separate occasions since 1997 and further we need to accept that people demanded that tax rates remain low whilst demanding that the capacity and quality of the public sector improve on a year-by-year basis. We must remember that the electorate demanded that the property construction remain unhindered during the last decade, and while all of this was going on, the main opposition parties broadly supported those three successive governments in their moves, and often criticized them for not spending or doing more on those and other areas. A review of the last fifteen years shows one thing very clearly; the political establishment has failed this country. Governments governed irresponsibly whilst the opposition opposed for opposition’s sake. The country has lacked strong leadership since the demise of Haughey and the beginning of the Celtic Tiger. The country has suffered as a result. The point that needs to be raised therefore is this; was that failure down to the political machinery of the state, or the people within it? My view is that the balance of blame lies on the latter. The most significant point is that we elected these people constantly and as such must engage in a period of self-reflection. To finish I ask you, what then is the point of broad and sweeping changes within the topic of political reform? The fact remains that without a mature discussion on the reasons as to how and why we vote for these politicians and political parties on a constant basis, then the bit-part changes as touted will not achieve anything else other than the way the institutions operate, and will do nothing to improve the caliber of our political leaders.

The Shadow of the Gunman Patrick Corkery

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ince mid-September there has been a flurry of excitement on the political scene with the announcement that Martin McGuinness is going to contest the presidential election. Not all of this excitement has been positive mind you. Listening to the radio since his declaration and following debates on Twitter, McGuinness has been accused of everything from being a former member of the IRA, to still sitting on the Army Council and not ever being a tax payer in the Republic of Ireland. All of which his detractors see as disqualifying him to contest the highest office in the land. Before I continue let me lay out my stall and say that I am not a Sinn Féin voter, nor a Martin McGuinness supporter, however I think the criticisms levelled against him and his entitlement to run for office are lazy and in some cases very petty. The most confusing thing is that when it is put forward that our history is full of gunmen turned politicians there is a collective balk at the idea. Quickly followed by the usual platitudes that the Old IRA was really quite lovely compared to the Provisional IRA, personally I believe to make this distinction is historically illiterate. For anyone who is bothered by history they should take a look at The Year of Disappearances; Political Killings in Cork, 1921-1922 by Gerard Murphy. It will quickly suck any romantic notions about the Old IRA out of their minds and show the fact that like its Provisional successor it was not adverse to the most brutal of actions. Of course those opposing McGuinness will argue that as this was over 90 years ago it is not the same thing as being in the IRA forty years ago. Martin McGuiness’s involvement in the IRA is fresh in the minds of the public. People can still remember images of Warrington, Enniskillen and the

Brighton Hotel bombing on their TV screens, events that happened at a time when McGuinness was active, or at least certainly had tenuous links with the IRA. We do not have the luxury of playing back footage of Protestants being displaced from their homes and murdered gangland style before being deposited in unmarked graves on the newly acquired farms of IRA men. We never got to see coverage of children being torn from their homes and families to board the boat to England so as to escape persecution by members of the Old IRA, the same IRA opponents of McGuinness love to portray as romantic and noble. While I in no way wish to become a revisionist in terms of the role the IRA played in the fight for Irish freedom, I think to neglect the bad that was done in the name of that cause is grossly hypocritical. The elapse of time makes their crimes no less easy to stomach than the atrocities committed by the Provisional IRA, of which Martin McGuinness was a highranking member. Since the Saint Andrews Agreement, Ireland has truly turned a corner on the road to a lasting peace, something which would not have been possible without extreme elements on the Republican and Unionist sides coming to the table. While it was a long and bloody road with crimes committed on both sides, there is no denying that Martin McGuinness was instrumental in helping reach this juncture. Having a vague memory of the Troubles myself, I never believed I would see the day when Ian Paisley would be sitting next to Martin McGuinness and sharing a joke. More importantly I never envisioned that the Democratic Unionist Party would be serving alongside

Sinn Féin ministers in a power sharing government. Still there are those who wax lyrical and trample the same tired old arguments that Martin McGuinness Deputy First Minister is no different to Martin McGuinness IRA Volunteer. I have to beli eve in saying this it is akin to arguing the Minister for External Affairs Frank Aiken was no different to Frank Aiken IRA Chief of Staff, which would be awfully naïve and contrary to the facts on hand. As a people, North and South we still live under what O’Casey called; ‘The Shadow of the Gunman’. It is barely ten years since the Troubles died down and less since normal governance emerged in Northern Ireland. We have to accept the fact that change is slow, but we must see that the wheels are moving and that one of the people moving the wheels has been Martin McGuinness, in the same way normal political discourse developed in this part of the island post Civil War. It is only by people like Martin McGuinness partaking fully in the democratic process North and South of the Island that we can hope to move into an era where we can move from fully ‘The Shadow of the Gunman’. It would be well worth his detractor’s time to contemplate this in the spirit of peace and reconciliation.


October 11th 2011

09 Politics

Mid-wife crisis- how a party and a news agency can potentially ruin your career Sam Marks

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or those unfamiliar, Rebecca Leighton was arrested under suspicion to endanger life little over 2 months ago. It was surmised she had contaminated bags of IV fluids with insulin directly causing the deaths of 3 otherwise well patients at Stepping Hill Hospital in Cheshire. She was released under grounds of insufficient evidence little more than 3 weeks ago. Police did not wish to divulge into investigation details at the time of the arrest for fear of prejudicing any future judgements of the case. And when the charges were finally dropped they were more than happy to admit their misadventure. During that time, Leighton was compliant with the arrest, and constantly begged the authorities not to stop looking for the real killer, if in fact there was one. Judging by the fact that 700 patient reports are now being investigated, we’re looking at either a potential mastermind serial killer, or much more plausibly, a contamination by the manufacturer. The former can only go on rumours and has no face to go with. While the other would see the media and the pharmaceutical companies, two money giants, going head to head, which is more trouble than it’s worth as far as either is concerned. Leighton on the other hand was just unfortunate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to be suspected of poisoning. The real poisoning, however, was by the media. There was no harm in publishing the story, but

twisting the facts and publicity was out of order. Firstly, she was arrested ‘under suspicion’ of endangering life. A lot of papers phrased it as ‘charged’, allowing room for culpable ambiguity. Less reputable papers such as the Sun couldn’t help biasing every article, pasting her as a killer who hated her job and her patients, quoting her Facebook page posts complaining about longs shifts. Honestly, how many of us in college haven’t complained about getting up early after a social night out? What’s worse, even more reputable news sources such as the BBC were in on the gross misconduct in their representation of Leighton. Photos of her party going ways filled the papers, the box and the web pages. Could they not have hired a photographer at the time of her arrest? Furthermore, hasn’t some poor news photographer lost out on much need work because of this? Could they not have chosen a staff taken photo or police mugshot? Leighton’s boyfriend was almost left out of the picture altogether, partly in the hopes of dehumanising their subject matter. The media took the easy way out, and now some innocent (morethan-likely, anyway), whose suggestible patients will probably never trust her as an

employee again, is going to be paying the price for that action. This also raises one very important issue. Would you ever be as eager to put up photos of yourself on Facebook if they could be used against you in court, regardless of privacy settings you have on the actual website? Would ever use Facebook again? It’s a potential lawsuit in the making in its own right. It most likely won’t happen now, but I personally can envisage the day when the media moguls, like Murdoch, will overstep the line. There was another scare at Stepping Hill regarding bleach-contaminated milk which got barely any media coverage in comparison to the main insulin inquiry. Why? Because Leighton was already in police custody at the time, and so couldn’t have been responsible and would have instantly made her look less culpable. It was conveniently swept under the rug of media scrutiny. Meanwhile Leighton is rightly suing the police for a six-figure sum for wrongful (and blatantly premature) arrest, oblivious to the media damage, or knowing that that would be a war she cannot win.

The media in politics - Senator David Norris’ return to the presidential race Laura Harmon

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n August 2nd, Senator David Norris stood on the steps outside his home on North Great George’s Street in Dublin City and announced his withdrawal from the presidential race to a gathering of media. It was game over. His Director of Communications and his Director of Elections had quit the campaign a few days previously. Others, including his Youth Coordinator, announced via Twitter that they were no longer part of his campaign. Four out of the fifteen Senators who had pledged him their support had withdrawn it again. Public figures and some of his fellow colleagues were advising him to bow out. The media were telephoning him; journalists were knocking on his door. The controversy surrounded a letter that Norris had written in 1997 to an Israeli Court, pleading clemency for his former partner, Ezra Yitzhak Nawi, who was convicted in 1992 of having sex with a 15-year-old, underage, Palestinian youth. ‘I see that I was wrong,’ Norris stated at the time, expressing that he didn’t regret supporting and seeking clemency for a friend but that he regretted ‘giving the impression that he did not have sufficient compassion for the victim of Ezra’s crime.’ Norris described Nawi’s behavior as ‘disgraceful’ and stated the fact that it had spread to the campaign and was ‘in danger of contaminating others’ close to him, both politically and in his personal life, as one of the main reasons as to why he had to withdraw from the race. ‘It is essential that I act decisively now to halt this negative process.’ Nobody could have predicted on that day that Norris would be returning to the race six weeks later. A month after his absence, a Sunday Independent/Millward Brown poll revealed that 1 in 3 people wanted to see him on the ballot and that 18% would still vote for him. Facebook pages like ‘Write Norris on the Ballot anyway’ and ‘Reinstate David Norris for President’ were set up. The nomination process was widely criticised, a process that was never altered despite a commitment to do so from all parties in 1998. If there is one thing certain it is that, without the internet, it seems highly improbable that Norris’s re-entry could be facilitated. One of the main catalysts was www.WeWantNorris.com, an online petition set up by Abban Dunne. This petition gained 11,542 signatures, online and through supporters on the streets, calling on Norris to return to the

race. Supporters presented this petition to Norris outside Leinster House on Friday, 16th of September, just hours before his appearance on the Late Late Show that night. ‘This could be the biggest political comeback in Irish political history,’ Norris claimed on the Late Late Show, as he announced that he would be trying to gain the support of 20 Oireachtas members or 4 county or city councils in order to stand for election. He cited the petition as one reason for his return and stated that he had received over 3,000 emails and hundreds of letters since he withdrew. During the following week and a half, the difficulty that Norris had getting nominated initially prevailed. Despite thousands of emails from the public, many via the website Contact.ie, encouraging members of the Oireachtas to allow the people to decide, Norris only managed to secure 18 signatures. He then focused all of his efforts on the councils and on the eve of the close of nominations, he managed to secure the support from the remainder of the 4 councils needed. Getting on the ballot did nothing to halt the intense media scrutiny surrounding Norris. There has been mounting pressure on him to reveal the content of the other letters which he wrote in relation to the Nawi case. Norris has repeatedly cited legal advice as his reason for not publishing the letters. While he has since revealed where he received this advice, his evasion and refusal to answer the question on the Vincent Browne debate last Tuesday night put a dent in his campaign the night before its official launch outside the Writer’s Museum in Dublin. Norris is leading the way when it comes to reach and influence on social networks with nearly 4 times as many Twitter followers than any other candidate and with the most Facebook likes at 25,541. However, effective social media use will not win an election. According to the latest Ipsos MRBI poll for the Irish Times, Norris has dropped 14 points down to 11%. Norris needs to be as transparent and open as possible in answering questions from the media over the coming weeks if he’s to have any chance of regaining votes. In an election that has been dominated by controversy, it remains to be seen what other issues will come to the fore for all of the candidates. Voting takes place on Thursday, October 27th. The last day for registering to vote or moving your vote to another constituency is October 10th.


10 Features

FEATURES Easy to find

John Barker Features Editor

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runchy leaves. As a long day of lectures and assignments loomed over me this morning I found it impacting greatly on my mood and general outlook on life. With the added horror of the early morning, the world was looking somewhat grey and lacklustre. My iPod offered me some relief as I made my way from the train station however it was not exactly the awe-inspiring material I felt in

such need of. Now I am not saying that crunchy leaves are the most exciting things in the world but today, on this ever so dull morning, they were greatly uplifting. As I walked on them I noticed everything about them from the burnt orange colours to the rustling sound made when you kick them. Simultaneously as my senses were then stirred so too was my creativity and imagination. In a matter of moments I had created a verse of a song and was happily singing it to myself. I simply have to marvel at the littlest things that can provide such inspiration. You really can find it just about anywhere. This issue explores a little bit about the theme of inspiration as Michelle Moore’s Vox Pops ask the students of UCC where they find theirs. Lynn Harding then jumps into a

world where words act as such

triggers for change. It is something that I have recognised that we are all going to need a little of this year. The pressure is already on for final year but as long as I’ve got my crunchy leaves then I’m sure I can keep a cool head. Don’t forget the simple

October 11th 2011

things. Remember to relax. In our investigation into the world of stereotypes in the coming pages, L i s a Juliet MacDonough and I both discovered the effect that clothing can have on an individual. I’m not going to go and change my style or anything but I am certainly going to have my tracksuit ready for me when I get home in the evenings so that I can remember that it is time to chill. Find something that makes you switch off from everything; the ac-

ademic and the social life. On a somewhat unrelated note, if like Michelle and I, your passion is for writing then we want to hear from you. With the UCC Express well and truly up and running, we are looking for writers. What is it that has inspired you to pick up a pen and write over the last weeks? It is all of relevance to the student body. Drop one of us an email and we’ll get in touch. We’ll be having regular meetings and would be glad to see you there. Come along. Find your creative outlet. Be heard. And to the readers: watch this space as the next issue will indeed feature the new writings of such writers. Most importantly, enjoy your week.

features@uccexpress.ie

Why does it always rain on me?

Michelle Moore Deputy Features Editor

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am sitting in a café on a Friday afternoon. The rain hasn’t stopped pouring all day. I sit and watch as people dash in to buy a warm coffee or herbal tea. There is a constant buzz, and I like it. It makes me feel warm.

I hate the rain, but I love it too. I love it on days like these when I am warm inside. I am not envious of the people living in Dublin or the UK who enjoyed a touch of an Indian summer. My summer clothes have been put away since August. Instead I am happy to grab my coat and umbrella which are always at an arm’s reach so I can just take them and go. Speaking of umbrellas, a few litter the floor of the café. The wet that they brought in are forming puddles near some of the tables and chairs. I have already seen a guy shake out his hair. So what is so bad

about the rain? And why haven’t we gotten accustomed to it already? A number of years ago I saw an interview with Maxi Jazz of the group Faithless. In it, he was asked about growing up in Britain. He said the weather was terrible. But one day he woke up to find it raining consciously made a decision to like the rain. He said that it is something that he cannot control and that it rains so often that he had to accept it as part of life. What I find about the rain is that people are easier to talk to when it is lashing down. Everyone has a comment or complaint about it. So it has proven to be a great conversational ice-breaker In my newfound enthusiasm of the rain, I discovered an appreciation page for the rain on Facebook. Entitled “I love the Sound of Pouring Rain Showers & Thunderstorms”; this page has over 1.3 million fans. The page and its sister website ilovetherain.net have an overview about how the rain as the earth’s most precious gift, for if it didn’t exist, there would be no water therefore life would not survive.

There would be no growth on land. What captures my imagination even more is the wonderful photography the website contains. The photographs make the rain appear beautiful. Ordinarily I would never have thought of rain in that way. How can rain be beautiful? It creates a mess. But some of the photography showcases the childish moments of splashing in puddles, people kissing in the rain and painters’ colourful depictions of couples embracing under opened umbrellas as the rain falls in the background. This makes me rethink

the purpose of rain and how most species can benefit from it. Rain can be sexy. Try it as a conversational ice-breaker. Maybe rain will help you raise another person’s temperature like in “Four Weddings and a Funeral”, “The Notebook” and even “Spiderman”. Whatever you are into, enjoy it while it lasts. I won’t be writing about the downpours in winter for they are a completely different story. If you don’t know what I’m talking about you’ll soon understand. Embrace the autumn rain.


October 11th 2011

11 Features

Kate Doran, a grumpy college student who regularly travels long distances to get to UCC, suggests some tips for making the best of Ireland’s lacklustre public transport system.

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s college slowly starts to meander its way through the hills and valleys of what is the student timetable (it’s wedged in there between the pub and bed), most of us find ourselves desperately searching for modes of transportation. Like Gazelles returning to last year’s watering hole we seek out the fastest and best routes to Cork. The bus is none of those things. Sure, gazelles leap through croc-infested waters, but at least they get to their destinations quickly. But the bus, unlike a gazelle, is at least a safer way to travel. You can compare a bus journey to a night in the cells; most of

us have been there, stuck for numerous hours in confined conditions and having to converse with, let’s face it, some very strange characters. Or is that just me? It’s an experience that will make you stronger - or grind your self-worth down to a tiny speck of dust. Regardless, it’s your own fault for not owning a car or for living outside of Cork. Of course, most of you already know this and call me a condescending fool, but for those who do travel by bus, read on for some tips to help make the journey slightly more bearable. Now, how do I know everything there is to know about buses? I am a qualified bus taker.

Ode to the buses And by ‘qualified bus taker’ I mean I’ve been getting buses since I was 12, and I’m an expert. I’ve had ham sandwiches thrown at me on buses. I’ve fallen down the aisle. I’ve seen kids try to light seats on fire. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried. The places I’ve seen! The people I’ve met! The sarcasm I’ve lovingly nurtured, just to write this article. So as George Michael says, have a little faith. Let’s get started!

1.) Air Conditioning. Perhaps the most important feature ever invented for vehicles. Am I hyping it up too much? Probably. Will you be bitterly disappointed when you realise that on most buses that you happen to find yourself situated, over half the air-con systems shall be faulty? Definitely. How does one combat faulty air-conditioning? Wear layers! It took me until second year to figure this little gem out. It’s quite genius really. Too hot? Take off your clothes! Too cold? Throw on some more! Simple. Or, buy a car.

2.)

3) People. Oh the wonderfully unique and deranged strangers you’ll get to meet! Chances are if you follow my advice in tip number 2, you won’t have to worry about randomers trying to sit next to you. Trust me - no one wants to sit next to a crazy. What really grinds my gears (Thank you Peter Griffin) is when a stranger sits beside me when there are copious empty seats at the back of the bus just longing to cushion somebody’s bum. Generally, if a person has any decent form of manners they will ask if the seat is taken. You are then presented with two choices: (A.) Begrudgingly say no and move ALL YOUR THINGS FROM THE SEAT, to let them sit down. Or combat butt companionship by (B.) Simply ask them to move on down the aisle as you are trying to have a private conversation with your friend Bill. Turn to the empty seat and begin to talk animatedly about a topic of your choosing. As I said before, no one wants to sit next to a crazy.

5.) Boredom. This will be accentuated if you are unlucky enough to forget to charge your Mp3 player. It doesn’t matter what time you get the bus, the traffic will always find you. One of the soul crushing things about the roads in Ireland is that everyone’s allowed drive on them. If you were not emotionally scarred by the movie Speed as a child, you’ll probably be okay when the bus slows down to a crippling 5mph. If you’re still terrified by that movie and by Keanu Reeves’ acting in it, why on earth are you on a bus? How does one survive boredom on the bus? Sleep, or throw things at the people in front of you. Perhaps use your laptop to watch movies. One could read but the hassle with this is that there are no earphones to disconnect you from the outside world. You are left vulnerable to curious passengers. I once spent a forty minute trip to Fermoy explaining the ins and outs of ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ to a very elderly gentleman. He was really old and quite deaf and that book is terribly complicated.

Aromas/Musks. Seriously. Expect to have your nose assaulted by weird and wonderful smells. Whether it is the girl that seems to bathe in her Coco Chanel or the particularly grubby individual that appears not to bathe at all. It’s difficult not to smell these people, just like it’s difficult not to breathe. My advice? Acquire some clothes pegs and wear them at all times. Or, get a lift from a friend with a car.

4.) Oversharing. You’ll hear an awful lot of it on the bus. Personally, I do not care about what you and ‘the lads’ got up to during your summer pissup in Alicante from six rows back. The only time I would ever want to overhear someone’s conversation on a bus would be if (A.) They are Morgan Freeman or (B.) If they have recently met Morgan Freeman. Otherwise, just keep the noise down; some of us are hung-over here.

6.) Another thing you can’t avoid is those little villages/towns you forgot existed along your route. It is the most infuriating thing in the world to see the Cork city lights on the horizon as the bus turns off into Midleton. I’m sure it’s a lovely place and blah de blah blah, but honestly, no. If you add twenty minutes onto my two hour trip, regardless of your picturesque views, welcoming hospitality and quaint houses, I will not like you. Want to avoid these places? The only tip I can think of is buy a car.

All in all, being a student is fairly easy. And let’s face it, if getting the bus is the only major problem in your life, you should really grow a pair and stop whining (yes, I am aware of the irony in that statement). Besides, buses are the new planes! They are here to stay. We’ve all seen Coach Trip and how cool are those guys?


12 Features

October 11th 2011

Trading Faces The goth, the geek and the jock; John Barker and Lisa-Juliet MacDonough go undercover on Societies Day to unveil the myths of stereotypes in college life.

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rmed with a variety of outfits, a clipboard and a proposed society, we descended on our prey. Dubbed the ‘no-name society’, it was perfect. We offered people anything they wanted and a completely open forum for the discussion of society events. With a neutral stance we gave nobody the opportunity to turn us down on the basis that they did not like the activity or interest around which we based our practice.

Our findings: What I found interesting was not the figures but was firstly the way people treated me and secondly the way the outfits made me feel. Sporty girl, for instance, was my first look. I wore no makeup, tied my hair back in a tight pony tail, wore a hoodie and tracksuit pants with trainers, basically I looked like I was ready to jog to the Mardyke at any second. I found that when I wore these clothes, I felt very plain Jane. I was not as confident as I usually am and really found it hard to approach people and ask for their signatures. Being a Drama student I am not unused to approaching people, but in these clothes I felt different. I was not myself. In direct contrast to that, I found that people seemed to react better to me in my sporty girl clothes than in my emo or preppy girl outfits. I don’t know why, as I was at my least confident. Perhaps when overly confident people feel bombarded whereas when you are more reserved people find you more approachable? Next up was emo girl. For this look I put on, of course, a black dress. With that I wore knee high socks (that have not seen the light of day since I was 15, may I add) , shoved as much hair in my face as possible, put a zebra print hairband with a bow across my head, bombarded my eyes with black eye makeup and put on my multi coloured trainers. Though I knew I looked absolutely ridiculous, I found that my confidence grew. It was like I was wearing a mask. I felt that I had no problem talking to people now and approached them with the confidence that sporty girl lacked. However, I also found myself using the word “random” a lot more than I usually do. People’s reactions to me were much different than from when I was in my tracksuit. People kept calling the false society “weird”, a word that was not used to describe it when I was in sporty or preppy dress. I also found that people needed more of an explanation about the society when I was dressed as an emo as if they were more suspicious of me when I was dressed all in black than when I was

Lisa Juliet:

John:

dressed in all navy and grey (the colours sporty girl wore). Last but not least was preppy girl. We’ve all seen those girls around campus, the ones who come to college with a full face of makeup, high heels and clothes that you would wear to a wedding every day. I put on my best going out top, the skinniest of skinnies, high heels, piled on the slap and spent 10 minutes trying to make my hair look messy but cute at the same time. How exhausting! Fair play to any girl or boy who has the energy to do this type of thing every day! For all my efforts, I felt like a complete tool and totally overdressed. The fact that my 4 inch heels had me measuring in at 5’10, a height I’m only comfortable at after a bottle of wine, did not help. It also didn’t help that I found people to be quite hostile towards poor preppy girl. I could fool myself and say they were jealous of how glam I looked, but really I think they just thought I was a total tosser. Though people did sign up, I found it more difficult to get people to stop and talk to me and people seemed to find it easier to say no to me dressed as preppy girl than as either of the other two girls. All in all I found this a fascinating experiment. I really went into this thinking that the way I dressed would change other people’s perceptions of me, but I found that it had a more profound effect on me than on others. My own personal style is none of the three stereotypes above, I have been described as “the horse of many colours” or, as my sister once charmingly put it, “It looks like a rainbow threw up on you”. Basically, I wear a lot of colour all the time and I found that when wearing the stereotype clothes I was not myself, it altered my confidence levels greatly and made me much more aware of myself, when I was dressed in these different outfits. I would definitely encourage anyone to dress as a stereotype for a day, just to see people’s reactions and their interactions with you, it really is great fun and you learn a lot about yourself! I for one will be hanging up my stereotype shoes for the moment, I’m much more comfortable in my multi coloured high tops.

Our mission: To find out if stereotypes still exist and to test the open-mindedness of our incoming first years. Time: 09:00 – 11:00 Venue: Societies Day, DeVere Hall. Our disguise: The emo, the prep and the jock. Background: Societies Day in UCC is a day targeted at and most attended by fresh faced first years. Whether it’s a genuine desire to join or a lust for free pens that entices them, they come in their droves, each of them all proudly claiming their ease with college culture as they embrace later mornings and later nights. Yet as UCC prides itself as being a place of equality and acceptance, we seize the opportunity to question if our incoming students really have been able to drop their secondary school mentality as we became stereotypes.

I had to take a deep breath before stepping out in a tracksuit. They’re not my regular attire by any means being more of a skinny jeans kind of guy. However, I secretly felt extremely comfortable and relaxed. Having dragged myself out of bed at 7 am, my get up actually felt rather quilt like and so I wasn’t quite as on edge as I imagined I would be when approaching people, making a friendly connection and then lying blatantly to them. It was when wearing this outfit though that I felt most compelled to adapting my persona. I felt the need to be a bit more macho and a lot more laid back. My attitude had to say ‘I don’t really care if you join or not, I just wanna have play Xbox’. Having experienced such a feeling and a need to chill out it did cause me to question my own normal self: am I really just too uptight about everything? I know my life is hectically busy but I should be able to find the time to unwind too. Having said this I must have pulled it off as not once did I feel uncomfortable approaching people nor did they seem all that uncomfortable or unwilling in approaching me. There was one exception though who claimed to have joined four societies already and couldn’t join anymore, despite signing up to fashion society two minutes later. My relaxed attitude had no problem letting this one go and so I moved onto recruiting a couple of guys for a ‘beer tasting night’. The next outfit would see me experience a radical change in every way. John the goth had arrived. Clad in black and with a hood looming over my face I felt most confined. I found it difficult to even speak to people and so too did they find it difficult to speak to me. Initially I found myself giggling a little uncontrollably, and this was down to the simple fact of how uncomfortable I felt in these clothes. They were suppressing every bit of life within me and I didn’t like it. In contrast however as Lisa felt much more comfortable she was therefore able to coax me along and begin the sign up procedure. The reception we re-

ceived was quite cold. Nobody wanted to talk to us and it was in this stage that we experienced the most awkward and obvious ‘no I don’t want to join your weird society’ from two girls. I almost felt grateful that they had acknowledged us at all though. In an effort to inject a bit of fun into this stereotype, I did suggest a vajazzle party to one shocked first year, who understandably shot the idea down. Shame really. Alongside Lisa’s preppy outfit, I opted for a somewhat indefinable style, with ‘raver’ being the closest. UV trousers, white t-shirt and colours galore made up my next character. Although I felt closest to my normal self at this point, I did not feel welcomed by students. Any signatures did not come from a place of interest rather from a place of ‘I’ll sign, you leave’. I was conscious of people looking at me and assessing my shambolic style, yet there seemed to be a fear in most when they saw us approaching. I would have described this outfit as the most unique of the three and the one which made me an individual. To dwell on this observation then highlights to me the question of whether or not students accept the individual. To compare to two strong stereotypes indicates that although they may not be loved and greeted with open arms, the stereotypes are respected on some level and can remain unquestioned and unscathed by societal change. Perhaps stereotypes ought to be seen and distinguished as an integral part of life throughout all ages. Structure is welcomed in any form. Conclusion: The effect of your clothing can have a greater effect on you than on those around you. From the colours to the style, whatever you choose defines you and your mood for the day. Although stereotypes exist, it is suggested to be society’s way of dealing with the social side of life. Definition is something which many long for and so if one is to belong to a certain clique then society can define him/her. One can accept the defined much easier than the undefined.


ENTERTAINMENT

October 11th 2011

MUSIC/TV & FILM/GAMING/THEATRE & LITERATURE

“Our favourite 20 tv characters… P.18/19

“Discrimination in Gaming? P.22”

“Interview with Colm Mac Con Iomaire of the Frames P.16”

MUSIC/TV & FILM/GAMING/THEATRE & LITERATURE TV & Film Grace Kelly P.14 Death of Film P.15 Bollywood P.15

Music Interview P.16 Mastodon P.16 Girls P.17 St. Vincent P.17

Theatre & Literature Innuendo P.20 Daughter of Smoke & Bone P.20 Phantom of the Opera P.21 The End Is Nigh… P.21

Gaming Discrimination P.22 Dark Souls P.22 Steam P.23 FIFA 12 P.23


ENTERTAINMENT

14

Overkill Entertainments Editor Kevin O’Neil

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s there anything worse than your favourite band splitting up in the midst of a run of classic albums? Or perhaps your favourite TV show or book series ended far before you have enjoyed the luxury of becoming bored of it? Ending a series in its prime has its advantages, certainly. For one, cult classic status is often bestowed upon the likes of Arrested Development and the work of the Pixies, for example, as they jumped overboard long before they outstayed their welcome. The question is, I suppose, whether you want to leave behind a short, consistently good back catalogue or outstay your welcome, irritating the masses you used look fondly upon as fans beyond recognition. As I write this, rumours are emerging from Fox studios that a

pay dispute may signal the end of The Simpsons. By the time publication has occurred, either the death knell will have sounded on the series, or a low level Fox employee will have been erased from the books for spreading false rumours about its illustrious possessions. However, when I stumbled upon the article, I was left in a curious state. How would I feel if Homer and co. were suddenly taken from my television screen? Would it bother me in the slightest anymore? It goes without saying that the show is an all time classic, irrefutably the greatest animation that has ever been put to the screen, though you will find very few who will defend

the unending slide in standards in recent seasons. Memorable antics are a thing of the past for Springfield’s finest; perhaps dropping the curtain on the era defining show would be for the best. Certainly, it would restore some of the lost credibility that continues to wane as I type – viewing figures are plummeting and the show does not create the frenzied rush to see new episodes as soon as they appear as it used to. If they appear on Sky in six months, they will pass unnoticed for an entire generation who will still maintain their fanaticism. For them, the show ended twelve years ago. In a similar vein, indie legends REM recently split up to a chorus of “they were still together?” What I found most curious about the trio’s decision to split was not the timing (their best work was certainly behind them), nor the statement that accompanied it (characterised by their trademark subtlety and manner) but the wave

October 11th 2011

of cynicism from both fans and those who struggle to name a song beyond ‘Losing My Religion’; “I can’t wait for the reunion tour in five years.” This, for a band who changed music? This, for a band who were pinpointed by Kurt Cobain as one of the greatest who ever lived? Without REM, would Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and subsequent generations of guitar style college rock have been created? Inevitably, though it is hard to see it achieving the same level of popularity. In fact, had Stipe and co. not began the ground work, the above remark may have accompanied the news that Nirvana had split, a dozen albums into an inconsistent career. On a lighter note, Arrested Development was renewed earlier this week for a ten episode television stint and a subsequent film adaptation. Jubilation all round, though scepticism creeps to the surface inevitably. Though the masses have been baying for a return to the screen for the Bluth family for some time, I, for one, would rather it stay in the doldrums of the cult

classics next to Freaks & Geeks, Firefly and eh… The Tick, than return as a subpar shadow of its former self. So, posing the question again – is there anything worse than your favourite band splitting up, TV show being cancelled or book series ending prematurely? Overkill. 23 seasons in, I almost wish the Simpsons had bombed after two, Family Guy has long outstayed it’s welcome and as for performers like U2, the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan and Morrissey, the less said about their recent antics the better. In the spirit of avoiding overkill, we have opted for an aesthetic revamp of the Express Entertainment section. Your old favourites are still floating about but under the wonderful new guise that you see before you. Over the coming months, we aim to bring you higher standards than ever achieved in this publication before.

and said “Frank’s bigger than that”. There are those who believe that Grace had affairs with all her leading men. I don’t particularly believe this on the reasons that actors like Gable and James Stewart wouldn’t have wanted Grace due to her younger age. Despite all the rumours, she met Prince Rainier of Monaco and they married on the 18th April 1956. After which, her acting career was no more. During a visit to the palace by the same sister that locked her in the cupboard, Grace was showing her around when the sister noticed a room with all the dolls Grace ever owned. They were in the same condition she got them. This to me is the essence of Grace Kelly’s life - her childhood, her father or more the urge for her fa-

ther’s acceptance of her. It’s rather tragic to think that regardless of the accomplishments of her life, she was still obsessed with what her father would think. She even asked him, upon her marriage to Prince Rainier, whether he was proud that she found herself a prince. On the outside she seemed to have the perfect life - Hollywood star, Model, Mother, Princess! Nevertheless, she never seemed satisfied… Sadly, on September 13, 1982, while driving with her daughter Stéphanie to Monaco from their country home on the French side of the border, Princess Grace suffered a stroke, which caused her to drive her car off the winding road down a mountainside. She never recovered and died the following day.

Submissions and queries to entertainment@uccexpress.ie

Grace Kelly: A Princess…or a troubled girl? TV & Film Editor Niamh Áine Ryan takes a look at the life of one the big screen’s greatest ever icons

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troubled child, Grace was not the archetypal material for a screen legend. Somewhat of a loner, she would spend far more time playing with dolls than with other people and was often locked in a cupboard by her sister. Sadly, her mother would not even notice as Grace was such a quiet child. Acting came naturally to her, however. Upon entering the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York in 1947, Grace came into herself more and more. Far from understated, her time was characterized by spells of exhibitionism, dancing and visits to the male dorms. She engaged in a relationship with a tutor of hers, much to the disgust of her family. Despite this seemingly dramatic change, she still preferred her own company more often than not. This, along with a constant need to impress her father would follow her throughout her troubled life. It seems Grace saw Catholi-

cism as a very flexible religion. She would arise with only the crucifix on; go to mass and then an hour later hop back into bed with a man. It was not so much a matter of sexual addiction or obsession, just rather a constant need for reassurance and affection, probably because she felt starved of attention from her father. She may have felt a great deal of emptiness, even a terrible loneliness and sex was her way of alleviating it. Sad really, that such a talented and endowed woman should feel this way. The interesting thing is that sixty years on, we find these attributes still resonating in women we know. The story and feelings are familiar, aren’t they? Over the next five years of Graces life she made many films like Country Girl, (for which she won an Oscar) Rear Window, To Catch a Thief, Mogambo, The Swan and High Society to name but a few. Contrary to her promiscuous nature in private, Grace was a lady in the public eye and around platonic friends. Thus, when filming Mogambo in Africa, two events stick out, one very heart-rending,

the other scandalous. It seems Grace fell once again for the older man, this time Clark Gable. The really heart aching thing about this story is that I feel it comes straight from the issues she had with her father. Grace fell in love, however, being thirty years his junior the feelings were not reciprocated. She started calling him “Ba” which is the Swahili word for father. One would wonder if she was physically attracted to Gable or if this was just a troubled girl with father issues to face. While filming Mogambo she became good friends with Ava Gardner, Frank Sinatra’s wife. While walking around the set one day, they saw a group of Watusis, hired as extras, and Ava turned to Grace and asked “Have you ever seen a black cock?” Grace went purple with mortification and told Ava “Stop that, don’t talk like that.” As if Ava knew she was being fake, replied “that’s funny…neither have I” - and with that Ava reached over and pulled up the breechclout of one of the Watusis to reveal his penis. Ava grinned


15 Tv and Film

October 11th 2011

To the Death of the Film Industry… And the rise of television. Entertainment Editor Kevin O’Neill charts the decline of the film industry in comparison to the improvement of television.

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he idiot box, once associated with mind-numbing tripe has taken a swift turn for the better in the last decade. As is clear from the countdown of television’s greatest characters of the last twenty years over on pages 18 and 19, some of the most iconic figures in pop culture now grace the television screen rather than the cinematic one. And, interestingly, said countdown also proves that the standard has been ever improving in that same time frame. While several characters rooted in the 1990s make an appearance, there are none who both start and finish before the dawn of the millennium – and only one who was on screen in the 1980s. We have seen this before, however. Hollywood’s unstoppable golden age from the 1920s to the 1960s came to a stuttering halt around the time television became common place, and while wonderful art is still being produced today, it is undeniable that the

originality of the medium has been largely sapped. Sequels, prequels, remakes, superhero franchises, television adaptations… They are a dime a dozen at this stage – aside from last year’s Inception, it is tough to name the last wholly original blockbuster that found success. On the other hand, television has become a critical darling, evident now more than ever with the launch of Sky Atlantic last February in Ireland and the UK. HBO shows are broadcast over here free of charge for Sky customers – a glittering cacophony of originality. From The Borgias to Six Feet Under, The Sopranos to Big Love, the television drama genre received a long needed shot in the backside around 1999 and the fruits of this are evident on

screen today. The major television hits throughout the 1980s were somewhat tacky and uncreative (I’m looking at you Dallas and Dynasty), the majority of them cropping up mid-afternoon on our

televisions nowadays. The 1990s upped the ante a little – comedy certainly continued its meteoric rise with Friends, Frasier and Seinfeld picking up where Cheers had left off. Sadly, comedy has since begun to suffer yet again with the utter banality of Two and a Half Men reducing the genre to

its knees. Its unprecedented success is nothing short of mind boggling. Drama, however, was hit and miss. The X Files and Twin Peaks offered a little insight into creativity, though it was largely BBC and ITV produced detective series’ that were giving the genre some c r e d i b i l i t y. Around the turn of the decade this all began to change with the genius of The West Wing and The Sopranos making an appearance. These two, and the dozens that have followed (take your pick – The Wire, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Lost, Mad Men, House) have all proven to be not simply critical successes but commercial hits also. The production values of the big screen made their way onto television (the opening sequence to Lost, for example) but possibilities were endless. Character and

Finally, some Bollywood action Film & TV Editor Niamh Áine Ryan looks at Bollywood’s next blockbuster and its potential effect on Irish tourism.

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n a boost to the capital’s tourism industry, Dublin, notably Trinity College, has become the backdrop for the making of a new Bollywood film. The film called Ek Tha Tiger (translating ‘Once there was a tiger’) started shooting last month and it is expected to be released in twentyfour countries, reaching an anticipated audience of over 100 million. This is the first time that a major Bollywood film has been filmed in Ireland with such a prominent cast: the leading roles occupied by Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif. Khan has acted in over one hundred movies and is known as “Bollywood’s Bad Boy.” He has featured many times over as the villain and even in real life his image seems to follow him, with several arrests during his career. His trademarks include his perfect smile and dancing! Kaif, mean-

while, is a British-Indian actress who started off in the modelling industry and has been voted the sexiest Asian woman on numerous occasions. Ek Tha Tiger is a love story set in a world of espionage and intrigue. The film begins in Dublin with a world-renowned scientist who, while working in Trinity College, is accused of selling missile technology secrets and classifieds to Pakistan. The Indian government dispatches a secret agent to Dublin to investigate. The agent, code-named ‘Tiger’, falls in love with an Indian student attending a dance academy at Trinity College and embark on a rollercoaster journey to Istanbul, Kazakhstan and Chile. Dance and music is prominent throughout the film. One attention grabbing sequence will see over fifty dancers take part in a routine in Parliament Square in Trinity College. The view of Ireland in Ek Tha Tiger is incredibly positive and upbeat. Dublin, is seen a modern and attractive land with vibrant surroundings, rich in culture and history. Shots have been filmed in Trinity College, Temple Bar and many other locations around the

city. Audiences will see Ireland as a new and fashionable country instead of the stigmas usually attached to Irish culture. Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport Leo Varadkar said: "It's a genuine pleasure to see a major Bollywood film being shot in Ireland, but it's also great news from a tourism point of view. This film will be watched by millions of people in India and around the world, providing a global platform for Ireland as a visitor destination. The Indian film industry is the largest in the world after Hollywood but this is the first film of its type to be made in Ireland. I want to make the actors and crew welcome in the hope that others will follow in their footsteps." Varadkar is not alone in thinking this. The Chief Executive for Tourism Ireland, Niall Gibbons agrees. Not only will this film crew of approximately seventy people spend a few months in Irish hotels, shops and restaurants, but Gibbons has also studied the affect of Bollywood’s film industry in countries like Switzerland, Britain and New Zealand. When asked about Ek Tha Tiger, he believed that “Bolly-

wood is deep-rooted in the psyche of most Indians and the films have a considerable influence on Indian travellers when they are deciding on their holiday destination. We are confident that the footage shot here will help whet appetites and create a curiosity among Indians to come and visit the places where the colourful ‘Ek Tha Tiger’ was shot. We are delighted to have co-operated with the Irish Film Board in securing this important film for Ireland which was also made possible through strong support at Government level.” Taking Switzerland as a prime example, there is a recorded

plot development felt all the more natural and credible, so much more could be done over the course of a thirteen episode series in comparison to an hour and a half long film. It may sound obvious, though this was the first time such scale was attempted with such success on so many fronts. Massive epics like Band of Brothers took the stories of blockbusters and made them more accessible. Big name directors and actors all started to take note – television had long been viewed as a wasteland for talent, though with successful film actors such as Hugh Laurie, Steve Buscemi, Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, Rob Lowe, Jeremy Piven, Alec Baldwin and more making the move toward long-term stability, this has changed among both artists and fans alike. There is life in the film industry yet. The god awful advent of 3D has breathed a degree of profitability back into the medium, while there are still many talented individuals working on creative and unique projects. However, the tables have turned. Where once stood the idiot box now sits a format through which some of the most original and challenging projects have ever been undertaken. And reality TV. But that’s another argument altogether. 250,000 Indian tourists and holiday makers visiting the country every year in the last decade, since the production of Bollywood films began there. Surely, in this economic climate we are living through, the production of Ek Tha Tiger can only help our country and promote it as a contemporary island. Let’s hope that this will be the start of a happy and positive relationship between Bollywood and Ireland but that it will also help our island’s tourism and that the millions of viewers expected to watch are enticed by Ek Tha Tiger’s portrayal of Ireland.


16 Music

October 11th 2011

Interview with Instrumenalist Colm Mac Con Iomaire Solo projects, family time and reflection; Deputy Music Editor Mark Roche finds out what Colm Mac Con Iomaire has been doing lately

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s a multi-talented instrumentalist Colm has not only contributed to Kila, The Frames and The Swell Season but also recorded his own album The Hares Corner which will soon be followed by another instrumental record. A dreary Friday morning would usually be something to stay in bed for; not when you get to speak with one of the most influential Irish musicians of our time. Without wanting to broach the subject of The Frames too early I asked Colm why he decided to record a solo album. He speaks of how playing in The Frames since age nineteen is a collective thing. Positive experiences aside creatively there is also compromise. “There came a point where I had collected all of this music, which needed to be heard. In a band, you record something and each member might have particular favourite

songs; with The Hares Corner I was 100% proud of what was recorded. It was a very rewarding experience”. Commenting on the diversity shown in instrumentation and theme I wondered how Colm moved so swiftly through a broad spectrum of emotions. He sounds so confident about his drive, as we discuss how most art has a theme so too should music. An arch of narrative or emotion allows the album to progress. Iomaire was very adamant that a record should suit many occasions and bear repeated listening. After recently played a gig in The Roundy which I enviably found out about too late I entice him to talk about his experiences of Cork city; he shares stories both old and new. ‘Cork has always been good to my friends and I, more so than Dublin. I can remember in the early days of The Frames playing in places like Nancy Spain’s to great audiences.’ Without sounding too star struck I asked Colm how he felt about my theory of the modern fiddle player. In many ways Colm was a shining light in defiantly straying away from traditional usage of his instrument and making different music. An awkward silence and timid humble response came soon after

as he recalled a lot of prejudice was thrown his way and many accusations were stared down boldly as he refused to believe the barriers people tried to impose on such a versatile instrument. As a fan of The Frames I found his story of their origins absolutely fascinating. “I began busking on Grafton Street with Kila while we were at school. At the same time we saw this other group of buskers: Glen Hansard, Mic Christopher and Mark Dignam. After a while we began to jam regularly after busking, maybe ten or fifteen of us would end up busking all over Dublin to earn a few pound. This group eventually splintered into The Mary Jane’s, Kila and The Frames. I met Glen in 1985 but it wasn’t until 1990 that we began The Frames.” As a band I have rarely heard a member commented on in a negative light, Colm giggles as he ponders whether or not they were ever a band of excess. ‘In the early days a couple of pints during the gig was the only pay available, drinking was a stage that we grew out of pretty early.’ Touring is always a hard process but as a family man himself Colm takes it as more of a positive growing up experience. Touring obviously brings its difficulties, leaving all the work to his partner but as a performer the holidays are great and kids certainly teach you how to manage your time correctly.

Mastodon – The Hunter Mark Roche reviews Georgia’s foremost sludge metal outfit’s fifth offering.

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astodon never do themselves an injustice with albums; since their 2002 origins they have consistently delivered fresh, progressive and powerful music. As an original piece of psychedelic rock The Hunter is no different. While this album certainly has animalistic themes running through it, there is a retreat from Mastodon’s usually

classically inspired concept albums [Leviathan, Blood Mountain]. The Hunter, titled as homage to Brent Hinds brother who died in a hunting accident, could have easily been called simply Brother. The difference between The Hunter’s and its predecessor Crack the Skye (2009) is almost immedi ately apparent as ‘Black Tongue’ opens the album in a similar tone to ‘Blood Mountain’ (2006); heavy as hell! ‘Curl of the Bull’ changes the tone of this album almost immediately, as we get an insight into how much this band has developed. Beautiful riffs lay over delicate lyrics sang cleanly by Troy Sanders as chords seem to ebb and flow; advancing and retreating behind the lyrics. ‘Blasteroid’ continues to confuse as it fuses Sanders vocal gymnastics from clean verse to throat blistering screams. Brent Hinds

and Bill Kelleher’s twin guitar onslaught is something to be marvelled at live but the ingenuity between these guitarists throughout the entire album is something awe-inspiring. A light hearted highlight of this record is ‘Octopus Has No Friends’ which again shows the dynamic not only between guitarists but also the fantastic, effortless drumming of Brann Dailor. Troy Sanders bass guitar looms over the chorus as he sings “I’m on my way back home”. A dark tale of journey is featured in ‘All the Heavy Lifting’; it’s hard not to feel a resonance of death in the lyrics; ‘Just close your eyes and pretend that everything is fine’. A layer of melancholy permeates this song. Beating drums slowly die away as both journey and song end. ‘The Hunter’ shares a colourful tone drifting through the midway mark of this record. An imaginative solo circles overhead the latter half of this track which harks back to earlier Mastodon. ‘Dry Bone Valley’ begins quite timidly but as pace quickens and

One of my favourite albums is The Frames’ Set List. As I asked Colm to reflect on the gig played almost a decade ago he seems to think fondly on that era. ‘The audience are a real part of our shows and it really translates on Set List’. There is no doubt in his mind that it is deserved success all the same, as The Frames first No.1 album, Colm assures me that they couldn’t have achieved as much without regular gigging, hard work and the loyalty of their fans. “It was a tangible foundation for our success”. Both Glen and Colm are well known for their interesting stories but for fear of my credit running low I quickly ask Colm what inspired the Willie Wonka ‘Pure Imagination’ teaser to be inserted into the song ‘Star Star’. “I guess it was one of our favourite films,

we would have grown up with it and watched it every Christmas. It was a quality of our gigs that people reacted to; it came about through improv basically. We had originally used it in Dance the Devil once we gained permission from its composers it eventually kind of stuck to ‘Star Star’”. Following a lengthy conversation there really was only one more question to ask. If you could choose anybody to act as President of Ireland who would you choose? The silence seemed to go on too long as I began to think I had offended his political sensibility he chuckles down the line and says… “Michael Collins, I think he could do the job, he’d probably want to be Taoiseach too!”

Dailor’s excellent drum fills hasten the song begins to take flight. Dashing guitar riffs interlace themselves among a strong bass drum and harmonies which shows the song as much more than a lesson in speed training. I’m impressed that Brann Dailor did not abstain from contributing vocally and lyrically to this album following his success on Crack the Skye; feedback and laughter are the only audible features of ‘Creature Lives’ introduction. As a piece of music it is possibly the most ‘out there’ track on the album. After a minute and twenty seconds of this noise a pleasant bass line and drum accompaniment which is reminiscent of Metallica’s …And Justice for All. If one track should stand out for musical arrangement then this is certainly that song. A complete story narrated around a musical concept; quite an uplifting song for a swamp monster story. ‘Spectrelight’ is possibly my favourite track for one reason; it’s pure f*&king METAL! Scott Kelly of Neurosis features on this song

and is a welcome addition to The Hunter; the synchronicity between musicians on this track is a tour de force of absolute face melters. It would be silly of anybody to dismiss Mastodon as a band with no range or diversity; this song is proof of that. ‘The Sparrow’ was penned by Brent Hinds for his brother and is a sentimental closing track to an immense record. A tenderness not often portrayed is very apparent in this tribute which again is very dream like. Honeyed tones float until the breakdown introduces the heavier aspects of this exceptional piece of composition. Much of the instrumentation is held back in a sort of effort of unburdening the musicians of everything except feeling; a haunting chorus ends the record and we are left with a sense of sheer astonishment. There is no fluidity whatsoever within ‘The Hunter’, if I had to order the track listing it would be very different; this is not to deny its sheer genius. ‘The Hunter’ is certainly a necessity for any Mastodon fan.


17 Music

October 11th 2011

Girls – Father, Son, Holy Ghost. Hippie cults, Drug abuse and low brow music videos, Music Editor Jack Broughan reviews Girls’ second offering These days it’s increasingly looking like most bands plastered over the covers of music magazines come from well-adjusted or at least relatively normal backgrounds. Looking back over the last ten years of releases covered and laded by main stream music media, not many bands seem to have even the slightest inkling of a quirk in their upbringing or history. Save for the evangelical roots of Kings of Leon and Brandon Flowers’ Mormon leanings it all looks pretty dull. By contrast, Girls’ frontman, Christopher Owens, has come from a background that is so bizarre that I’m wary of being left out of some sort of universal joke; or have yet to be informed of the story’s fabrication. Owens grew up in the Children of God cult born out of an evangelical Christian organisation with

loose hippie ties. Amongst the cult’s list of varied and quite frankly, scary beliefs, followers are encouraged to engage in “Sexual Sharing” which entails sexual interaction with all members free of boundaries. This free expression also included lesbianism but, bizarrely, not male homosexuality. The cult’s backward world view also contributed to the death of Owens brother, when he was struck ill by a case of pneumonia and refused medical treatment as per the cult’s beliefs. After his brother’s death Owens left the cult and spent a period of time immersed in the seedier end of the San Francisco gay scene, from which the basis of the band’s first album: Album was recorded. Although it sounds fanciful and completely fabricated, Girls’ genesis has been perhaps the most bizarre and ultimately tri-

Desert Island Discs As the first section of the series, History lecturer Dr. Finola Doyle O’Neil talks to Deputy Music Editor Mark Roche about her favourite musical artists. If I had to choose the three artists I could depend on to always keep me entertained I would have to choose The Eagles, Nina Simone and Tom Waits. The songs that I listen to most frequently are those which have a particularly beautiful theme; as odd as it sounds 10CC’s ‘Dreadlock Holiday’ has beautiful lyrics which I really admire. I have a great interest in a lot of Irish musicians, Jimmy McCarthy, Mary Black and even Lisa Hannigan. A lot of music like that is incredibly beautiful, I don’t care much for loud sounds but I do like a lot of different genres. I suppose a lot of music from the 80’s stands out in

my mind. Steely Dan’s ‘Ricky Don’t Lose That Number’ is a particular favourite which I can always go back to, Pretzel Logic was the album. I’ve seen a lot at Live in the Marquee, James Taylor was a favourite of mine, ‘Sweet Baby James’ is one of my favourite songs ever. I think I’ve listened to ‘Desperado’ by The Eagles on repeat since its release in 1973 and music like Tom Wait’s ‘Closing Time’ is so time enduring; that was released the same year. In relation to soundtracks ‘Schindlers List’ always brings a tear as a beautiful score; I’m also a fan of the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack. I play guitar myself and have a very musical family. I play guitar and have been known to sing also; my party piece would be an original rendition of ‘Once in a Very Blue Moon’ by Mary Blac

umphant since Eels. However, this story and, more importantly, the band totally passed me by up until recently, which to me seemed pretty bizarre until I remembered my first exposure to Girls. Perhaps I had forcibly repressed the memory, or simply had forgotten, but I now remember watching the initial video for ‘Lust for Life’. The original cut contained two of the same guys from the work-safe version of the video mouthing the lyrics of the song into each other’s genitals which, in a weird way, did suit Girls’ sound. Hazy, messy, honest, smutty and, probably, stinking drunk is what rang true in the video and this uncomplicated aesthetic is what swung me in the bands favour. Father, Son, Holy Ghost seemed to set the stage for Owens to push the band to a higher plateau. Instead, it seems the record lags in terms of interesting material and immediacy. For ex-

ample ‘My Ma’ opens with a droning but sweet Hammond organ, slow plodding rhythms and slide guitar playing that sounds like it’s been ripped straight out of a Spiritualized track. The difference here is that the individual traits that should excite me don’t seem to have the impact that I thought they would. ‘Vomit’ moves in the same direction, albeit more bombastic and leaning heavier on the odd juxtaposition of gospel and pop music elements. Perhaps it isn’t expansive as Spiritualized but the whole track despite its flourishes comes across as almost lacklustre. Perhaps it’s something that I’m not quite grasping about the band but their sound seems to be lacking the edge it once had. What originally struck me

about Girls was Owens’ disarming honesty and how, even though some of his subject matter may be familiar territory, his take made things interesting because it was so upfront. Take Album’s opener ‘Lust for Life’, for example: “Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend / I wish I had a loving man in my life / I wish I had a father / and maybe then I would have turned out alright…”. Father, Son, Holy Ghost seems to lose that imperfect and sweet sound that Album had, among the extra instrumentation and recording flourishes.

Review: St. Vincent – Strange Mercy Music Editor Jack Broughan examines St. Vincent’s new offering; Strange Mercy Strange Mercy is the third album to be released by St. Vincent. Formerly of The Polyphonic Spree and an ex member of Sufjan Stevens’ touring band, St. Vincent - or Annie Clark as her mother would know her - seems to be of that rare breed of female solo artist, like PJ Harvey or Bjork, that has a clear aesthetic and style. However, on face value, St. Vincent conjured images of a Zooey Deschanel record layered with vintage Moog Synths and an over populated effects pedal board. The reality is thankfully not as shallow or predictable. My first listen to St. Vincent was the lead single of her second album Actor. The single in question; ‘Marrow’ completely threw me, squelching synthesisers, heavily processed guitar sounds and thumping bass mirrored by lyrics that sound like running commentary on an autopsy. Adding to this, St. Vincent chose to take part in the ‘Our Band Could be Your Life’ tribute gig, choosing to cover two Big Black songs; ‘Kerosene’ and ‘Bad Penny’. The latter sounded particularly vicious and accurately paid homage to a band that was famed for aggressive and misanthropic punk and border-

line noise rock. However I digress, my point is that St. Vincent is far from the twee pop songstress that she seems to be. Now with the release of Strange Mercy, St. Vincent pushes forward into the weirder alcoves of the last two releases. For example the album’s lead single ‘Cruel’ opens with a sickly sweet string sample straight out of an old Disney movie. The track then opens up into a playful sounding guitar part embellished by squelching guitar fuzz. The sound overall is like the type of songs on an arty rock record but with particular attention paid to the catchiness and arrangement. The almost fairy tale sounding back drop of the track seems to be intentionally blemished by the aggressive fuzzed out guitar. It is also undercut by dark and almost sinister lyrics again masked by Clark’s almost elf-like voice. This dichotomy between her penchant for sweet and catchy musical arrangements and her lyrics is the crux of what makes this record interesting. A case in point would be the albums opening track ‘Chloe in the Afternoon’, based on a 1972 French film by Eric Rohmer that tells the story of a man tempted to infidelity by an attractive old friend named Chloe, who usually calls to his office after lunch. The twist occurs when the pair are on the verge of announc-

ing their affair when the husband has a crisis of conscience and returns to the arms of his wife. The track in question re-imagines the affair in a much darker light, casting Chloe as an almost dominatrix like figure, slowly corrupting an honest married man: “…you’re all legs; I’m all nerves, horse whip and hair, my own heels…” Another stand out track that further unwinds the common threads in the album is ‘Surgeon’. The track contains a stunning synth texture that hangs in the back of the track like an expansive landscape view. The lyrics are once again seemingly innocuous but on a second listen become harrowing. The chorus repeats the lyrics “…best find a surgeon, come cut me open…” with the drifting synth and blurry guitar textures that make you feel like you’ve slipped into a drug fuelled coma. As it turns out the surgeon line is a nod to Marilyn Monroe’s journal, particularly aiming to make a song that sounds like “… someone was kind of in Benzedrine and white wine coma, like a housewife’s cocktail.” With Strange Mercy, Annie Clark has achieved a distinct and impressive niche, bold and interesting musical arrangements combined with stunning lyrics and an impressive vocal range in a time where many of her contemporary’s seem to be get by on a lot less.


18 Tv

October 11th 2011

19 Tv

October 11th 2011

The Top 20 TV Characters From The Last 20 Years

viewing. Cold and calculating, the serial killer is one of the most original characters to appear on television in the last decade or two. The core of his character is an ethical code drilled into him by his father from a young age – Dexter only targets those who deserve it. Over the course of the five series so far broadcast, we have seen Dexter become all the more human. Married with children, he struggles to contain his “inner demon”, while juggling his job, his marriage and more.

Entertainment Editor Kevin O’Neill counts down television’s best and brightest from the last 20 years using a convoluted formula of originality, performance, influence and whichever ones we just bloody like the most… We did decide to limit it to one per show in case we just ended up with a cast list from The Wire, though. 20. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother, 2005-Present) I don’t like How I Met Your Mother. It’s a tired format, recycling the same jokes over and over and I don’t like that it has far outlasted its intended timespan, but it is impossible to deny the brilliance of Neil Patrick Harris’ portrayal of Stinson. His catchphrases have entered the populous in a way that has been rare since the conclusion of Friends. Add to that the fact that he is one of few openly gay men playing a straight character on television, Stinson is one that will be remembered long after the show itself has ended. 19. Brian Griffin (Family Guy, 1999-2002, 2005-Present) Family Guy shifted its central character focus as it progressed. Initially concentrating on the bumbling antics of Peter Griffin, it wasn’t long before Seth McFarlane and co. realised the genius at the heart of this gem was the relationship between Brian, the family dog, and Stewie. The two offer a far higher brow of comedy, while still being able to incorporate much of the slapstick humour that made the show popular. Brian, unlike many of the characters, has seen real development during the show’s time on air, varying between the idealistic writer, the political critic and the pretentious loser. 18. Benjamin Linus (Lost, 2004-2010) Initially introduced to be a minor plot device, Michael Emerson’s Ben was one of Lost’s most complex characters. Varying between antagonist and ally, he was wholly unpredictable and just as capable of cold-hearted manipulation as of genuine aid. A calculated, measured and sublime performance ensured that the final three seasons became as unmissable as the early episodes.

17. Chandler Bing (Friends, 1994-2004) It is very difficult to pick just one character from Friends. However, for sheer comic effect, nobody surpassed Chandler Muriel Bing. Wise-cracks, sarcasm, dodgy puns… He was fluent in it all. His relationships formed a central aspect of the show – his marriage to Monica and eventual departure from the city the device used to end the show, while his bromance with Joey from day one was far more touching and hilarious than any other affinity in the show. 16. Gregory House, MD (House, 2004-Present) Hugh Laurie rejuvenated his career and became the highest paid dramatic actor in television history with his portrayal of the gruff, cynical anti-hero Gregory House. The show constantly references the classic Sherlock Holmes tales, with House tackling medical issues with the same nuance for psychology and logic as Arthur Conan Doyle’s protagonist. A fascinating enigma, House is the sole reason to tune into what would otherwise be a largely uninspired television show in many respects. 15. Jack Bauer (24, 2001-2010) As mentioned at the beginning of the article, some characters simply have to be included due to their influence. 24 brought the thriller back into vogue, it’s utterly genius format giving a new lease of life to a long suffering genre. At the epicentre of its success was Kiefer Sutherland’s brutish secret agent. He embodied the hero the America needed during the post-9/11 period. 14. Hal (Malcolm in the Middle, 2000-2006) As father to Malcolm, Reese, Dewey and Francis (and later Jamie), Hal represents a live action version of Homer Simpson. Brought to life with one of television’s best ever comic performances by Bryan Cranston, Hal seems to be permanently teetering on the brink of a mental and

emotional breakdown. He is less of a disciplinarian than wife Lois, identifying more with his sons than his wife ever could. His undying devotion to his other half, however, is one of his most endearing qualities. Few scenes in television history inspire more laughs than Hal roller skating to “Funky Town.” 13. Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City, 1998-2004) Few TV shows exert the same level of phenomenon as Sex and the City. For an entire generation of women (and some men, though they’ll never admit to it), these four women, their relationships and their shoes became essential viewing. At the centre of it all was Carrie Bradshaw. She didn’t perform the sex scenes, she wasn’t the best looking (she resembles an odd cross between a horse and a human foot) but she anchored the show. It may have been the sex that drew people in, but it was the characters that kept them around for so long. The realism, the balance and, consequently, the reasons to keep watching all stemmed from Sarah Jessica Parker’s career defining stint. 12. Eric Cartman (South Park, 1997-Present) The gimmick has to wear off eventually doesn’t it? Evidently not, as South Park has been commissioned up as far as its seventeenth season. Why? It offers that political and social commentary so many of us crave. Eric Cartman, the overweight, foulmouthed ten year old at the centre of the show, provides the majority of this hilarious criticism, targeting everyone from Apple to Scientology and more.

7. Niles Crane (Frasier, 19932004) The spin-off from Cheers focuses on radio therapist Frasier Crane, though as the series progresses it his brother Niles who emerges as the comic gold. Essentially a carbon copy of his older brother, Niles takes obsession, neuroticism, competitiveness and snobbishness to another level. The reason for the success of the character is largely down to a splendid display from David Hyde Pierce, an actor gifted with exceptional physical comedy and prowess with regard to timing. The moments of real emotional triumph in the show all incorporate Niles, rather than Frasier – a curious decision considering the latter’s titular role.

He has no limits and, though the standard has dropped a little over the years, Cartman’s penchant for breaking social taboos ensure its continued relevance. 11. Father Ted Crilly (Father Ted, 1995-1998) Having grown up watching Father Ted on a near-annual basis, it just goes without saying that he’d be here. He is the anchor for what remains today to be hysterically funny show. Eternally quoteworthy, Ted will live amongst the true greats of Irish and British television forever more. Ted, on closer inspection, is a strikingly real character in comparison to the rest of the cast. While constantly looking toward pastures new, he remains deeply committed to his faith and those around him – this makes his lampooning

of the Catholic Church all the better. And remember, these cows are small, but those are faaaar away… 10. David Brent (The Office, 2001-2003) The masterstroke of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s short lived comedy series was the mockumentary platform that gave Gervais’ Brent the opportunity to exist as more than just a surreal representation of that boss that everyone has. Brent viewed the cameras as his stepping stone to stardom, engaging with them at every opportunity. Seeing himself as the boss that everyone wanted to have, the friend and mentor, he

attempted to utilise them to advertise the fact that he was a “chilled out entertainer.” When insecurities emerged later in the series, it became clear that here was a character, despite his vain, pompous, hypocritical, offensive nature, every single viewer could identify with. If you didn’t know him, you were him. An utterly genius piece of writing that has been replicated well, but never topped. 9. Ari Gold (Entourage, 20042011) Entourage held little appeal when it first broke onto television screens in 2004. The show was inevitably set for the cut until

Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold began a seven year run of stealing every scene he appeared in. Initially playing a minor role as Vince Chase’s agent, Gold gradually becomes the central focus for the series – a fact emphasised by his appearance as the sole character in the final scene. Based on Mark Wahlberg’s real life experiences, the show is buoyed by Gold’s impeccable portrayal of the typical Hollywood super agent. 8. Dexter Morgan (Dexter, 2006-Present) The format of Dexter means it is a wholly predictable show, though the stunning lead performance by Michael C. Hall ensures that it is unmissable

6. George Oscar Bluth (Arrested Development, 2003-2006) The eldest of the Bluth brothers, ‘Gob’ (derived from his initials) provides constant comic backlash in the show. A magician by trade, he can usually be seen living on a yacht, travelling by segway and associating with a group of male strippers known as the “Hot Cops”. He also crops up at various points with a ventriloquist act starring Franklin Delano Bluth, an African-American dummy, and is in constant rivalry with his brother and best friend (though he’ll never admit it) Michael. Ignored, manipulated and put-down by his parents throughout his life, Gob is portrayed phenomenally by Will Arnett, varying between the offensive, incompetent façade he favours in public to the vulnerable one that yearns for his father’s approval and his brother’s friendship in private. A true tele-

vision legend, his one-liners will live on for some time to come – his mantras creating the perfect moral code. Gob on love: “I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s… it’s like my heart is getting hard.” 5. Omar Little (The Wire, 20022008) The Wire is the greatest television show of all time – its political observations and social commentary spurred by its stunning characters. Omar Little is a not-so-typical stick-up guy at the centre of it all. One of the most badass villains to ever grace a television screen, Omar is a complex character. Openly gay in the series, he sticks rigidly to a moral code that separates him from the other gang members in the city. He never targets those not in “the game”, he looks after his grandmother, he never swears and gets quite annoyed by others doing so. Yet, despite this, he inspires such fear in the people of Baltimore that when he walks down the street, they run in all directions, hurling bags of money in his path. A genuine triumph of modern television – a character so believable, so well pieced together that it even prompted Barack Obama to name him as his favourite TV character. 4. Walter White (Breaking Bad, 2008-Present) With this entry, Bryan Cranston becomes the only actor to show up twice on this list – a testament to his skills as an actor. An even truer testament to said skills is the wider acclaim that he has received for his portrayal of science teacher turned crystal meth dealer (inspired by his discovery that he has cancer) despite the show containing such a strong cast. Since episode one, dozens of strong characters, all meticulously acted, have passed through, yet Walter White still emerges as the best. Damaged and desolate at the beginning, White’s motives were somewhat admirable, though this has become less so as the series progressed. More dangerous and violent than ever anticipated, Cranston’s stellar display has earned him three consecutive Emmy Awards and legions of viewers who daren’t miss an episode. 3. Don Draper (Mad Men, 2007-Present) For generations, men looked at James Bond as the coolest, suave,

sophisticated ladies man on screen. Since 2007, however, this perception has vastly changed with Don Draper’s rise to fame. Impeccably presented at all times, Draper personifies the entire series – effortlessly cool, stylish and irresistible. We have touched on Draper’s convoluted past at different times throughout the series, weaving in and out of his marriage and divorce and the problems that have accompanied him since. His influence on popular culture and fashion in the short time he has graced the screen is unparalleled, while his transition from the unstoppable juggernaut of season one to the broken man of the more recent episodes has been captivating and heartbreaking all at once. Infuriating on the one hand, though utterly endearing nonetheless, Draper is a true triumph of modern screen writing. 2. Tony Soprano (The Sopranos, 1999-2007) “It’s lonely at the top.” Five words that sum up the untouchable genius of Tony Soprano and The Sopranos in general. A tired genre reinvigorated by the brilliance of James Gandolfini’s portrayal of a New Jersey mob boss. Incorporating the traditional characteristics of a patriarchal Mafioso such as the violence, vile mannerisms, infidelities and swearing, Soprano was so much more. This is alluded to in the very first scene, set in his psychiatrist’s office. We get a real insight into the working mind of Tony Soprano, his doubts, his fears and his depression – terrifyingly close to the bone. 1.Homer Simpson (The Simpsons,1989-Present) Was there ever going to be anyone else? Homer Simpson has redefined everything. Initially not even the main focus of Matt Groening’s masterpiece, Homer has taken a central role in many of our lives and shaped society and comedy beyond repair. He has been referenced by American presidents and candidates alike, his catchphrases have become part of the vernacular the world over. For 20 years we have laughed and cried with a man who personifies so much about ourselves and, despite a continuing drop in standard, the day that Homer is taken from our screens is going to be a very dark one indeed.


18 Tv

October 11th 2011

19 Tv

October 11th 2011

The Top 20 TV Characters From The Last 20 Years

viewing. Cold and calculating, the serial killer is one of the most original characters to appear on television in the last decade or two. The core of his character is an ethical code drilled into him by his father from a young age – Dexter only targets those who deserve it. Over the course of the five series so far broadcast, we have seen Dexter become all the more human. Married with children, he struggles to contain his “inner demon”, while juggling his job, his marriage and more.

Entertainment Editor Kevin O’Neill counts down television’s best and brightest from the last 20 years using a convoluted formula of originality, performance, influence and whichever ones we just bloody like the most… We did decide to limit it to one per show in case we just ended up with a cast list from The Wire, though. 20. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother, 2005-Present) I don’t like How I Met Your Mother. It’s a tired format, recycling the same jokes over and over and I don’t like that it has far outlasted its intended timespan, but it is impossible to deny the brilliance of Neil Patrick Harris’ portrayal of Stinson. His catchphrases have entered the populous in a way that has been rare since the conclusion of Friends. Add to that the fact that he is one of few openly gay men playing a straight character on television, Stinson is one that will be remembered long after the show itself has ended. 19. Brian Griffin (Family Guy, 1999-2002, 2005-Present) Family Guy shifted its central character focus as it progressed. Initially concentrating on the bumbling antics of Peter Griffin, it wasn’t long before Seth McFarlane and co. realised the genius at the heart of this gem was the relationship between Brian, the family dog, and Stewie. The two offer a far higher brow of comedy, while still being able to incorporate much of the slapstick humour that made the show popular. Brian, unlike many of the characters, has seen real development during the show’s time on air, varying between the idealistic writer, the political critic and the pretentious loser. 18. Benjamin Linus (Lost, 2004-2010) Initially introduced to be a minor plot device, Michael Emerson’s Ben was one of Lost’s most complex characters. Varying between antagonist and ally, he was wholly unpredictable and just as capable of cold-hearted manipulation as of genuine aid. A calculated, measured and sublime performance ensured that the final three seasons became as unmissable as the early episodes.

17. Chandler Bing (Friends, 1994-2004) It is very difficult to pick just one character from Friends. However, for sheer comic effect, nobody surpassed Chandler Muriel Bing. Wise-cracks, sarcasm, dodgy puns… He was fluent in it all. His relationships formed a central aspect of the show – his marriage to Monica and eventual departure from the city the device used to end the show, while his bromance with Joey from day one was far more touching and hilarious than any other affinity in the show. 16. Gregory House, MD (House, 2004-Present) Hugh Laurie rejuvenated his career and became the highest paid dramatic actor in television history with his portrayal of the gruff, cynical anti-hero Gregory House. The show constantly references the classic Sherlock Holmes tales, with House tackling medical issues with the same nuance for psychology and logic as Arthur Conan Doyle’s protagonist. A fascinating enigma, House is the sole reason to tune into what would otherwise be a largely uninspired television show in many respects. 15. Jack Bauer (24, 2001-2010) As mentioned at the beginning of the article, some characters simply have to be included due to their influence. 24 brought the thriller back into vogue, it’s utterly genius format giving a new lease of life to a long suffering genre. At the epicentre of its success was Kiefer Sutherland’s brutish secret agent. He embodied the hero the America needed during the post-9/11 period. 14. Hal (Malcolm in the Middle, 2000-2006) As father to Malcolm, Reese, Dewey and Francis (and later Jamie), Hal represents a live action version of Homer Simpson. Brought to life with one of television’s best ever comic performances by Bryan Cranston, Hal seems to be permanently teetering on the brink of a mental and

emotional breakdown. He is less of a disciplinarian than wife Lois, identifying more with his sons than his wife ever could. His undying devotion to his other half, however, is one of his most endearing qualities. Few scenes in television history inspire more laughs than Hal roller skating to “Funky Town.” 13. Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City, 1998-2004) Few TV shows exert the same level of phenomenon as Sex and the City. For an entire generation of women (and some men, though they’ll never admit to it), these four women, their relationships and their shoes became essential viewing. At the centre of it all was Carrie Bradshaw. She didn’t perform the sex scenes, she wasn’t the best looking (she resembles an odd cross between a horse and a human foot) but she anchored the show. It may have been the sex that drew people in, but it was the characters that kept them around for so long. The realism, the balance and, consequently, the reasons to keep watching all stemmed from Sarah Jessica Parker’s career defining stint. 12. Eric Cartman (South Park, 1997-Present) The gimmick has to wear off eventually doesn’t it? Evidently not, as South Park has been commissioned up as far as its seventeenth season. Why? It offers that political and social commentary so many of us crave. Eric Cartman, the overweight, foulmouthed ten year old at the centre of the show, provides the majority of this hilarious criticism, targeting everyone from Apple to Scientology and more.

7. Niles Crane (Frasier, 19932004) The spin-off from Cheers focuses on radio therapist Frasier Crane, though as the series progresses it his brother Niles who emerges as the comic gold. Essentially a carbon copy of his older brother, Niles takes obsession, neuroticism, competitiveness and snobbishness to another level. The reason for the success of the character is largely down to a splendid display from David Hyde Pierce, an actor gifted with exceptional physical comedy and prowess with regard to timing. The moments of real emotional triumph in the show all incorporate Niles, rather than Frasier – a curious decision considering the latter’s titular role.

He has no limits and, though the standard has dropped a little over the years, Cartman’s penchant for breaking social taboos ensure its continued relevance. 11. Father Ted Crilly (Father Ted, 1995-1998) Having grown up watching Father Ted on a near-annual basis, it just goes without saying that he’d be here. He is the anchor for what remains today to be hysterically funny show. Eternally quoteworthy, Ted will live amongst the true greats of Irish and British television forever more. Ted, on closer inspection, is a strikingly real character in comparison to the rest of the cast. While constantly looking toward pastures new, he remains deeply committed to his faith and those around him – this makes his lampooning

of the Catholic Church all the better. And remember, these cows are small, but those are faaaar away… 10. David Brent (The Office, 2001-2003) The masterstroke of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s short lived comedy series was the mockumentary platform that gave Gervais’ Brent the opportunity to exist as more than just a surreal representation of that boss that everyone has. Brent viewed the cameras as his stepping stone to stardom, engaging with them at every opportunity. Seeing himself as the boss that everyone wanted to have, the friend and mentor, he

attempted to utilise them to advertise the fact that he was a “chilled out entertainer.” When insecurities emerged later in the series, it became clear that here was a character, despite his vain, pompous, hypocritical, offensive nature, every single viewer could identify with. If you didn’t know him, you were him. An utterly genius piece of writing that has been replicated well, but never topped. 9. Ari Gold (Entourage, 20042011) Entourage held little appeal when it first broke onto television screens in 2004. The show was inevitably set for the cut until

Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold began a seven year run of stealing every scene he appeared in. Initially playing a minor role as Vince Chase’s agent, Gold gradually becomes the central focus for the series – a fact emphasised by his appearance as the sole character in the final scene. Based on Mark Wahlberg’s real life experiences, the show is buoyed by Gold’s impeccable portrayal of the typical Hollywood super agent. 8. Dexter Morgan (Dexter, 2006-Present) The format of Dexter means it is a wholly predictable show, though the stunning lead performance by Michael C. Hall ensures that it is unmissable

6. George Oscar Bluth (Arrested Development, 2003-2006) The eldest of the Bluth brothers, ‘Gob’ (derived from his initials) provides constant comic backlash in the show. A magician by trade, he can usually be seen living on a yacht, travelling by segway and associating with a group of male strippers known as the “Hot Cops”. He also crops up at various points with a ventriloquist act starring Franklin Delano Bluth, an African-American dummy, and is in constant rivalry with his brother and best friend (though he’ll never admit it) Michael. Ignored, manipulated and put-down by his parents throughout his life, Gob is portrayed phenomenally by Will Arnett, varying between the offensive, incompetent façade he favours in public to the vulnerable one that yearns for his father’s approval and his brother’s friendship in private. A true tele-

vision legend, his one-liners will live on for some time to come – his mantras creating the perfect moral code. Gob on love: “I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s… it’s like my heart is getting hard.” 5. Omar Little (The Wire, 20022008) The Wire is the greatest television show of all time – its political observations and social commentary spurred by its stunning characters. Omar Little is a not-so-typical stick-up guy at the centre of it all. One of the most badass villains to ever grace a television screen, Omar is a complex character. Openly gay in the series, he sticks rigidly to a moral code that separates him from the other gang members in the city. He never targets those not in “the game”, he looks after his grandmother, he never swears and gets quite annoyed by others doing so. Yet, despite this, he inspires such fear in the people of Baltimore that when he walks down the street, they run in all directions, hurling bags of money in his path. A genuine triumph of modern television – a character so believable, so well pieced together that it even prompted Barack Obama to name him as his favourite TV character. 4. Walter White (Breaking Bad, 2008-Present) With this entry, Bryan Cranston becomes the only actor to show up twice on this list – a testament to his skills as an actor. An even truer testament to said skills is the wider acclaim that he has received for his portrayal of science teacher turned crystal meth dealer (inspired by his discovery that he has cancer) despite the show containing such a strong cast. Since episode one, dozens of strong characters, all meticulously acted, have passed through, yet Walter White still emerges as the best. Damaged and desolate at the beginning, White’s motives were somewhat admirable, though this has become less so as the series progressed. More dangerous and violent than ever anticipated, Cranston’s stellar display has earned him three consecutive Emmy Awards and legions of viewers who daren’t miss an episode. 3. Don Draper (Mad Men, 2007-Present) For generations, men looked at James Bond as the coolest, suave,

sophisticated ladies man on screen. Since 2007, however, this perception has vastly changed with Don Draper’s rise to fame. Impeccably presented at all times, Draper personifies the entire series – effortlessly cool, stylish and irresistible. We have touched on Draper’s convoluted past at different times throughout the series, weaving in and out of his marriage and divorce and the problems that have accompanied him since. His influence on popular culture and fashion in the short time he has graced the screen is unparalleled, while his transition from the unstoppable juggernaut of season one to the broken man of the more recent episodes has been captivating and heartbreaking all at once. Infuriating on the one hand, though utterly endearing nonetheless, Draper is a true triumph of modern screen writing. 2. Tony Soprano (The Sopranos, 1999-2007) “It’s lonely at the top.��� Five words that sum up the untouchable genius of Tony Soprano and The Sopranos in general. A tired genre reinvigorated by the brilliance of James Gandolfini’s portrayal of a New Jersey mob boss. Incorporating the traditional characteristics of a patriarchal Mafioso such as the violence, vile mannerisms, infidelities and swearing, Soprano was so much more. This is alluded to in the very first scene, set in his psychiatrist’s office. We get a real insight into the working mind of Tony Soprano, his doubts, his fears and his depression – terrifyingly close to the bone. 1.Homer Simpson (The Simpsons,1989-Present) Was there ever going to be anyone else? Homer Simpson has redefined everything. Initially not even the main focus of Matt Groening’s masterpiece, Homer has taken a central role in many of our lives and shaped society and comedy beyond repair. He has been referenced by American presidents and candidates alike, his catchphrases have become part of the vernacular the world over. For 20 years we have laughed and cried with a man who personifies so much about ourselves and, despite a continuing drop in standard, the day that Homer is taken from our screens is going to be a very dark one indeed.


20 Theatre & Literature

October 11th 2011

Children: look away now! Theatre & Literature Editor Tracy Nyhan examines the controversial feature in literature that is innuendo. For those of you who aren’t aware of exposure to sexual innuendos, this might come as a surprise to you. Sexual innuendos conceal some form of sexual reference in the middle of a phrase that is often deep in meaning. They may be hard to grasp at first and require people to think outside the box, but once you open up to them and experiment with them yourself, the more satisfied you’ll feel when you realise just what it is they are implying. There have been mass debates about whether the sexual innuendo is an art form or not. It’s a broad subject that undoubtedly requires masterful manipulation of the language, as well as oral skills. Yet despite the fact that it does involve some thought and creativity, for most people it comes naturally. It is generally accepted that it is inappropriate to thrust sexual innuendos into the minds of children, so some of you might find its frequent inclusion in literature - not just adult’s, but children’s literature too - quite jolting. Interestingly, fairy tales, which we always associate with children, were initially composed for adults. We use fairy tales to teach children

principles and morals despite the fact that they’re laden with sexist and racist views and, of course, they expose the children to sexual innuendos. They were initially told at social gatherings as a type of adult entertainment - which makes sense, seeing as many fairy tales included rape, voyeurism and exhibitionism. The versions of tales we’re familiar with now are very different to the ones originally intended for adults. In an early version of Little Red Riding Hood, for example, the protagonist performs a strip tease for the wolf before hopping into bed with him (might as well add bestiality to the list while we’re at it). Another version of the same tale told of how the heroine performed a strip tease for the wolf and then ran away while the wolf was “preoccupied”. For any young girls reading this; that might not be a great idea if you’re ever abducted. Before the 19th century, a version of Sleeping Beauty called Sun, Moon and Talia circulated, depicting a tale where Talia, the sleeping beauty, gets raped by the prince. By the 19th century, fairy tales became more child-orientated

which is probably a good thing. The Harry Potter series is another excellent example. Rowling composes sentences of such ambiguity that they could be taken any way. There are plenty sneaky innuendos to choose from so if you noticed some while reading the books, well done but it doesn’t exactly take a genius to spot them. If you didn’t notice anything a bit saucy then chances are; you’re probably not old enough to read this article (see title). Anyway, I concluded that sexual innuendos in “The Prisoner of Azkaban” and “The Order of the Pheonix”, in particular, were worth the mention. “Both Sirius and Snape lowered their wands… the unexpected entrance of so many witnesses seemed to have brought them to their senses.” Admittedly, you could arouse anyone’s suspicions with the inclusion of the word “wand” in a sentence, but this is one of the most conspicuous. Perhaps Rowling’s intentions were to leave it open for us readers to interpret and take it whatever way we wanted to, sexually or otherwise. “Hermione’s mouth was slightly open by the time Harry had finished.” Another example of the double entendre and one I simply couldn’t resist putting in. Make of it what you will but it’s obvi-

Read This or Elsewhere News Editor Brian Byrne reviews Daughter of Smoke and Bone, a young adult paranormal romance that's actually worth reading. Really. “Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.” Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor is the best book I've read all year. Here's why. Karou is seventeen. She is a wildly talented art student from Prague, so much so that her sketchbooks, which depict imaginative monsters, have gained a cult following at school. But what the rest of the students don't know; what Karou herself never even

tries to hide, is that these monsters are real. She tells the truth, but with a wry smile so that nobody ever believes her. These monsters – called chimaera – are not only real, but

they're part of her not-so-secret second life. When Karou's not drawing nude portraits at school, she's running errands for Brimstone, the head chimaera. These errands take her around the world: from dark alleys in Istanbul to sunny boulevards in San Francisco, and mainly involve the collecting of teeth – yes, teeth – for a purpose of which she has no clue. She traverses these far-flung locations via doors that lead in and out of Elsewhere, the place the chimaeras call home. It's during an errand to Morocco that Karou meets Akiva, an angel. He has discovered that Karou works for the chimaera and, because of a long-running war, wants to fight her. Fight they do, and while Akiva is stronger, and could easily kill her, he can't. He feels drawn to her, and so decides he must figure out why. Karou, too,

ously just a quote taken from a conversation between Harry and Hermione in The Prisoner of Azkaban, when Harry explains how he saw his own patronus which saved him from the wrath of the dementors. I mean, what else would it be referring to? Subtle sexual implications are not just exclusive to modern literature. Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales feature some double entendres that are, quite frankly, too good to ignore. In The Wife of Bath, one line, in particular, sticks out: “What a fine, young stud. But truly as all my husbands say I have the best little pussy to be found in the city of Bath”. This tale isn’t as subtle regarding sexual references as other literature might be; especially seeing as rape and lust feature prominently throughout the tale. Who said Middle English is boring?! Charles Dickens is no stranger

must make some discoveries: who her parents are, what Brimstone does with all those teeth and perhaps most of all, how she came to be raised by a group of monsters. At first glance, this is your typical paranormal romance: you've got your angst-ridden female protagonist, and two star-crossed lovers from two very, very different worlds. But unlike all that Twilighty crap, this right here is the real deal. Laini Taylor can actually write - exceedingly well. Her prose is beautiful; flowery, but never overpowering, and some of the best I've ever read. Really, I cannot overstate just how beautifully Taylor constructs her sentences: her words never fail to capture whatever it is they are trying to portray; be it the magnificent architecture of Prague or the personalities of her ever-endearing characters. Karou is so much more than your everyday Bella Swan. I think I'll remember her for a long time, and not just because her hair is

to the topic either. In Oliver Twist, he frequently refers to the character, Charley Bates as ‘Master Bates’. Further analysis isn’t really necessary. Shakespeare, too, includes plenty of sexual references in his works (I’m thinking particularly about Juliet’s nurse and Mercutio in “Romeo and Juliet”). Sexual references are everywhere; whether you think they’re funny or inappropriate is up to you. Personally, I think Oscar Wilde hit the nail on the head when he said; “Sexual innuendo was funny until comedians started shoving it down my throat.”

bright blue. She is quirky, funny and – get this – intelligent. She doesn't go all sappy for the first boy she meets; she realises she's better off alone than with some idiotic, self-obsessed heartthrob. Bombshell: I don't like paranormal romance. Twilight was my introduction to the genre, and boy was it a stinker of a first impression. Since then I hadn't touched (literally: I had an aversion) a single book in the genre. Having said all of that, Daughter of Smoke and Bone has not restored in my faith in paranormal romance. I'm still sceptical. But what it has done is shown me that not every book deserves to be tarnished by the same crappy, I-wantto-torture-Stephenie-Meyer-until-s he-admits-she's-rubbish brush. Because this book isn't just great – it's exceptional, and deserves all the success Twilight has received and then some.


21 Theatre & Literature

October 11th 2011

Phantom of the Opera 25th Anniversary at the Royal Albert Hall Editor Byron Murphy takes a trip across the river to indulge the diamond anniversary of a not-so-secret pleasure.

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’m not exactly the target audience for West End or Broadway musicals, being a young man who appreciates, as so many young men do, drinking, fighting, watching sport and of course, the company of young women. However, about a year and a half ago my world was turned upside down when I went, almost unwillingly, to see a Broadway production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s high romance, The Phantom of the Opera, and found that not only was it not bad, it was actually very, very good. I was at the time cynical of the art form, having seen a number of ‘blockbusters’ like We Will Rock You, Promises Promises and Billy Elliot and emerged unfulfilled. The revelation came roughly 20 minutes in however, when the titular music kicked in and signalled one of the most astounding scenes I have ever laid eyes on. That had my jaw on the floor and my attention fixed on every word for the remainder, which offered more style and polish than some Hollywood productions have. The staging is spectacular and leaves the audi-

ence wondering how some of these things are possible. This is helped by a story that I am not (too) ashamed to admit managed to bring me, a very grown man, to tears by the time the iconic final scene came to a close. Webber calls this “the greatest love story ever told” and although he would say that, I think he might be onto something. It certainly ticks all of the boxes: innocent but beautiful girl with daddy issues meets mysterious, talented and older bad boy who becomes obsessed with her voice and charm. This was brought to the stage last week at the Royal Albert Hall, as a celebration of the most successful entertainment event of all time. This production has grossed more money than Avatar and has been seen by well over 100 million people, the most of any stage show, and justifiably received a birthday to remember. The cast for this was absolutely stellar; headlining were Ramin Karimloo and the gorgeous Sierra Boggess, the Phantom and Christine from the show’s sequel Love Never Dies which closed on August 27th much to the upset of

those attending the final show (myself included). Karimloo, who also featured in the Les Misérables 25th event, has the strongest voice of any human I have ever encountered and brought to the role such believability; not only the suave, confident movements which has existed since Michael Crawford donned the mask, but also the isolation and sadness which this individual, confined to the caves under the Paris opera house due to facial disfigurement since birth, was faced with. The biggest problem with the staging in this new venue was just that; the Royal Albert Hall was not made for an extravagant and dynamic show such as this. The stage is not large enough and does not include trap doors, and the new chandelier although impressive, disappointed the audience by not crashing down on some unsuspecting dancers. It’s also not a classic

auditorium suited to this type of show, where the round staging obscures a huge proportion of the action unless you’re sitting in £600 seats, which I wasn’t. However the show was stolen at gunpoint by the real star: Andrew Lloyd Webber’s unique music. Fitting the show perfectly, it routinely brings chills down the spine with sinister tones, strengthens on-stage relationships and provides a crescendo like no other to conclude the final scene, where Karimloo’s voice intertwines perfectly. I’ll never understand the public’s scorn of Webber; he stands as one of the greatest composers of our age, understanding as he does how to perfectly match whatever is happening on stage, be it in this production, the sequel, or any of his works. As a sweetener to all of this, guests included five past iconic Phantoms including the cur-

rent front man in the West End, John Owen Jones, the original Jean Valijean, Colm Wilkinson and Michael Crawford, the man who stood in the Phantom’s boots 25 years ago. These all paled in comparison for me, however, to the incomparable Sarah Brightman: the woman who influenced and originated the character Christine Daaé. Those in attendance were thrilled with her performance of the title song, and the realisation that she hasn’t lost a step since opening at Her Majesty’s in London in 1986. The show we attended was the Sunday night feature, and was filmed to be broadcast live in cinemas (you might have seen the poster in Mahon Point), and to be made available next month on November 14th on DVD and BluRay. In order to truly appreciate this work I recommend seeing it at source; where it was meant to be played in London, Broadway or Vegas. Failing that, this is the next best thing and the first time the show has ever been filmed. It should go some way towards showing how much better this story and music is than the awful Gerard Butler film would lead one to believe.

Is the end nigh for literature? Totes awks… Geraldine Carey turns her back on inept social awkwardness and picks up a book in an attempt to deter the impact of technology on literature.

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have a confession to make: I fear for our generation. Truly, I do. Look at us. You can’t walk around college for more than a minute without overhearing phrases such as: “I saw it on Facebook” or “Did you see X Factor last night?” or “I have this app on my iPhone that *insert anything possible here*”. We spend all our lives on the computer, watching TV, or on our phones. We don’t see what’s going on around us. All of these wonderful technological advances are hindering us without our knowledge. Too many times I’ve entered a room to see people on their laptops

or their phones. There is silence. The room is dead. No one is acknowledging each other. No one is communicating – unless on chat or something similar, of course. We don’t know how to connect with one another if there’s not a screen involved. No wonder we have so many “awkward moments” in everyday life; we are awkward people! My theory behind us being socially inept is simply because nobody reads anymore. Correction: nobody reads anything decent anymore. I’m sorry to tell you that Twilight does not fall into the ‘decent reading’ category. And yes, I know I’m risking my life by saying that. Confession number two: I am not blameless in this. I, too, have fallen into the technological trap. I used to be that nerdy kid at school who read all the time. Now, however, I’m ashamed to admit that I

haven’t read a book in months. Scratch that – I haven’t read a book leisurely for a year or two. I was one of those people who whinged about reading books for Leaving Cert English because it meant cutting down on Facebook stalking. But now my eyes have been opened. For the last two weeks, I’ve had no internet in my student house. It has been amazing. I’ve started looking around me instead of staring at a screen for hours. I can tell you that my room is yellow with blue curtains. Better still, I picked up a book. Fair enough, it’s Alice in Wonderland but I had to start somewhere and I wasn’t sure if I still had the capacity to read a whole book without getting bored. It was nice to feel the paper when I turned the pages instead of clicking a button to scroll down.

Seriously though, all jokes aside, it’s quite nice reading something other than the books on your “recommended reading” lists. So now I’m on a reading rampage. I have a list of all the books I want to read next. I want to read the texts we studied in school which I didn’t appreciate at the time, such as; Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor; and The Girl with the Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier. I want to get into classics like To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and anything written by the Bard (if you don’t know who that is, just Google him…). I want to get immersed in the world of Harry Potter once more. Enough about me. Try it for yourself. Give up Facebook for even just a week and pick up a book instead. You

never know, it might surprise you. You could have something to talk about in that silent, awkward room of technology. Even better, it would also help your essay writing as your vocabulary will stretch past “soz bbz”, “OMG”, “totes awks”, “ttyl”…The list goes on. Best of all, you reading a book has the potential to stop me ranting about the youth of today. Surely that’s got to be the deciding factor?! Now, I take my leave. Good luck, future fellow book worms.


22 Gaming

October 11th 2011

Capitalism, democracy and a pair of shorts Gaming Editor Sam Marks tackles the degrading and discriminate rules of gaming, and hopes we can learn from them.

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irst and foremost, I wish to state that this is an opinionated article in which I am most likely clutching at straws, and at time going too far. To most, however, I hope that it will help you to be more critical of how games are presented in modern society, and educate on how much further we need to go to make games more accessible for everyone. Any of you with the slightest interest in gaming might know what I am talking about. If not, let me start this by asking a few simple questions. Do you think Lara Croft would survive more than a minute in a scorpion-infested jungle in those shorts? Do you think Mario is a fair representation of the average Italian Plummer? With all this anti-bullying campaigns, how does a game like Bully pass in modern society? From a very early time, gaming industries have gotten into some

very bad habits regarding their “diverse” representation of the potential gaming public. This is particularly evident on the subject of misogyny. Not too recently, a Battlefield 3 tournament in Texas barred women from participating. It was more for their own protection from misogynistic male gamers. But the irony is games like Battlefield 3 probably only encourage the of idea female stereotypes by near excluding them from the game itself, despite the fact women make up more than 20% of the U.S. army (so much for “modern” warfare). Mass Effect trailers seem to ignore the fact there’s an option for a female character, and characters like Miranda are enough to make any science fiction feminist fear for the future. Lara Croft is only just after changing her shorts to something more believable, in more ways than one! The list goes on. There are reasons why the market hasn’t really expanded its audience. The majority of industries just aren’t targeting anyone new. Take the bulk of today’s gaming protagonists: Gordon Freeman, Masterchief, Sonic the Hedgehog, Marcus Fenix. Notice any pattern? The majority are male Americans equipped with a gun. Sonic, who started out as an innocent enough, Japanese-developed, child’s cartoon character, now has his entire premise of friendly running ruined by gun violence in Shadow the

Hedgehog. The tie between Sega sales rocketing in America and the adoption of guns was inevitable. Now before I take things too far with that or start concluding that the coincidences of Mario’s antagonist Bowser, or Misty from the Pokemon series, somehow imply all gingers (including Dr. Robotnik) are alike to fire-breathing lizards, I should point out you don’t even have to look that closely for discrimination when it comes to gaming. Hell, the latest in the Grand Theft Auto series is more than popular, and assumes that all blacks, gays and Slovakians trying to make it in the Western world will inevitably succumb to drug trafficking and sex bartering as an occupation. Less blatantly, Final Fantasy XIII and VII saw the black Sahz and Barret, with stereotypical hairdos, as the only gun-wielding characters in the game. As previously mentioned, Sonic’s blackfurred nemesis Shadow wields guns. Why bother include the option of choosing a boy or girl at the beginning of Fable if you can’t change its ethnicity to something non-white? Foreigners can’t even get a break from the propaganda. The African Sheva of Resident Evil 5 had the most horrendous AI, which the gamer developers seemingly and completely overlooked, leaving most gamers to eventually spew insults at her on the screen during the single player campaign, despite his character being American in previous games. This kind of behaviour would also explain why Dom the His-

When all hell breaks loose, literally Gaming Editor Sam Marks looks at the ins and potential fall-outs of demon hunting Halloween is upon us soon, so I thought it fitting the new sequel Dark Souls got some attention. Demon’s Souls, its predecessor, has already has a good enough reputation since it was released 2 years ago. For those unfamiliar, you play a customisable RPG character traipsing a world filled to the brim with a plethora of medieval inspired-mythology, only much more grotesque and sinister than left to the imagination. You collect their souls throughout the game, acting like a currency to purchase or repair equipment. But this is not what sets the series apart. It’s not often you come

across such an iconic piece of gaming material that’s idolised for being damn near impossible to play, and this is not in a negative sense. There’s no graspable story. You will die constantly, often suddenly and unremorsefully and perhaps even sadistically from a developer’s perspective, and that’s no exaggeration! Even if you had a cheat manual beside you on a coffee table or watched walkthroughs, you will still die, be it a lot less, but this kind of defeats the purpose. Its appeal lies in a trial-anderror ethos of gaming, and punishment if you do not learn from your previous combating misadventures. Strangely, it’s dying that’s the centre of gameplay. If you die, you return to your last checkpoint, but the souls you collected are

taken from you and remain at the last spot you died. Worse still, when you die or save the game, all previous enemies (with the exception of bosses) will respawn, some of which take a great tenacity to kill, and you will need to reach your last grave to acquire your souls. The catch is if you die again before reaching them, all your collected souls will be lost, forever! There are ways around this, especially with the online functionality. You can leave messages for other online friend players scattered around the world to warn them of forthcoming dangers. Or you can enter each other’s games as phantoms in combating support. However you can also sabotage their efforts in the hope of stealing their souls, adding a whole dark

panic of Gears of War doesn’t qualify as protagonist of the series against Marcus the Caucasian, despite having a more interesting and dramatic story arc. One would swear consoles had phobias of non-American. God forbid one of them has an undesirable accent. Enter Assassin’s Creed’s protagonist, Altair, the only American in Crusade era Jerusalem, dressed in what looks disturbingly like a Ku Klux Klan outfit, 400 odd years before the country even existed let alone was discovered! None of Uncharted’s villains have been English. And if the protagonist doesn’t have an American accent, just make it ridiculous like Mario’s. And what is there to say about ageism in this controversial argument? Even the iconic Final Fantasy 7 (a repeat offender) saw the beautiful blue-eyed, voluminous blond-tufted Cloud face the unkempt white hair and ancient samurai sword of the villainous Sephiroth. Luigi’s Mansion’s premise as a game was based on an old dementing professor forgetting to lock up a few ghosts. Look at the anti-hero Kratos with port-wine skin spots, his behaviour mimicking that of an irritable and dementing’s Alzheimer’s patient, blessed with eternal life. Goodness knows how old and crazy he is. Or perhaps the diabolically insane Andross of the Starfox series with his frosty cold curls and wrinkled gorilla face! Other than Professor Xavier of Capcom, is there no reputable gaming alopecic out there? Nothing escapes some form of new level to human nature, though the emphasis is more on helping players rather than the latter due to harsh punishments for failed player assassinations. There’s a somewhat deep crime and punishment ideology behind the game. This game will test your squeamishness, your ability to expect the unexpected, your learning

abuse in the industry, mental health disorders included, with schizophrenia being the hardest hit. In a massive plot twist Isaac Clarke’s hallucinating brain is responsible for the outbreak of space-zombies on a remote space civilization. The same premise applies to the recent Alan Wake bringing the darkness to a remote Silent Hill-esque town. Child psychology (as well as classic literature) can takes a beating too. The sweet yet curious daydreamer Alice of Lewis Caroll becomes a bloodthirsty hallucinating manic in the American McGee remakes. Ergo, schizophrenics are responsible for alien infestations or similar circumstances and are predisposed to violent tendencies. It’s unintentional, yes, but responsible in its glaring inaccuracies nonetheless. What I guess what I’m trying to say is game developers and their products nowadays appear to conform to what the staff consists of. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Rules are made to be broken, and it’s nice when they do. It would be nice to have more ethnic minority as a protagonist and have whites as side-characters. It would be nice to have more femme-fatales women could look up to and enjoy playing as. Customisable characters are slowly making their way into more and more games. But in games where that is not the case, there is still potential to take offence, even if it’s barely noticeable. I guess the overall moral of the story I’m trying to get at is no media industry, be it movie, journalistic or other, is perfect.

curve and potentially, at times, your mental wellbeing. That aside the game is often beautifully presented in its solitude, and is very rewarding to those who finally complete it. It’s not for gamers faint of heart, and more for the masochistic gamer who appreciates challenge rather than fun.


23 Gaming

FIFA 12 Entertainment Editor Kevin O’Neill checks out the latest from EA Sports’ FIFA series. With the Pro Evolution series floundering, FIFA has taken centre stage in recent years regarding the debate over which football title is the best. However, this lack of strong competition has seen a slow in the progression of the title. Rather than achieving success on the back of their own strengths, the team behind FIFA have been picking up the plaudits as a result of Pro Evolution dropping the ball. Luckily for the football gaming enthusiasts among us, Electronic Arts have opted not to rest on their laurels and have pushed forward a trio of new features that have upped the ante significantly. They have redeveloped the entire feel of the game – gone are the days of simply hitting a button and watching your midfielders do the defensive dog work for you. Precision Dribbling is chief

October 11th 2011 among these features. By the time you had pushed yourself to legendary status on FIFA 11, dribbling was near impossible. A quick passing game was required to break down the staunch defences you came up against and Leo Messi, despite being among the highest rated players on the game, was effectively useless as he was pushed off the ball in a slight breeze. With tighter control now possible, quick flicks around the opposition are easier ensuring that the beautiful game can be that once more. The other two new additions to the game – the Player Impact Engine and Tactical Defending – have made a huge difference to the defensive aspect. Heavily divisive among fans already, there is certainly more of a degree of concentration

Blowing off steam Fergal Carroll takes us through Indie gaming at its best At the end of summer 2009 I experienced a loss, tragic and devastating. My PS3 had died. I tried to get it repaired but my efforts were in vain. I didn't have the money to get a new one, so my personal gaming horizon looked bleak to say the least. That was until I discovered Steam. I had previously had meddled with it for a Half-Life 2 bundle I had gotten a few years previous but my interest never went beyond that. At the behest of a friend I bought Left 4 Dead 2 on sale on Steam for €6.80. It was the first small step back into PC gaming but I haven’t looked back since. After quickly devouring L4D2 (I wasn’t up to much else!), I headed over to the Steam store to possibly pick up some other cheap game and what I found was something to behold. Entering the Steam store for the first time is like walking into a new world. There are similarities with what you know but there are tons to discover. At the forefront there are the games you know and have heard about mixed in with all the kinds of weird you can think up. Just taking a quick look at the store

front right now, there are ads for Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and Deus Ex, as well as smaller games like Bastion, Rock of Ages and Bunch of Heroes. Steam has most of the triple A titles that you would expect from consoles (with only a few notable exceptions) but there are a plethora of hidden gems to be found lurking both on and under its surface. One of the reasons Steam is so special/exciting is because it openly offers something new, something unique. I'm sure I'm not the only gamer who has shooter fatigue. I can name a lengthy list of first person shooters off the top of my head from the past year alone. Sports games seem to be the same thing every year. (FIFA seems to add one new 'key' feature each year while PES has been off the boil recently, although I'm hopeful PES2012 will change that). Companies are looking at the success of mega franchises like COD and Battlefield. They want a slice of the profits and instead of trying to come up with their own innovative experience they tend to play it safe. That’s why we end up with tired, boring and generic

required to take on attackers as they close down your goal. The pre-game tutorial attempts to highlight the importance of ‘jockeying’ an opposing striker but the necessity of this isn’t seen until you are 3-0 down in your opening game to Bolton…

It even comes complete with dodgy refereeing calls – what more could you ask for? Aside from this trio, the game has remained largely the same. The menu and career mode have been given a shiny new makeover, the latter now incorporating scout-

The Impact engine is a nice touch – players colliding, suffering real injuries (unlike in previous titles where a “medium injury” was commonplace) and giving away fouls as a result, it all adds up to a more realistic gaming experience.

ing and youth academy features, as well as player morale and form. These are welcome additions. FIFA 11 fell down largely here – select the right 11 players and you may never need to change a thing on your way to glory. This is no

games like Homefront and Brink. I believe that it is on Steam where innovation is really thriving. Small companies with big ideas are given a fighting chance. It really is the perfect launch platform for small indie developers. It’s not too difficult to get into as opposed to PSN or XBLA, which only release games published from the biggest publishers and there is similar revenue potential. In fact Steam has even saved some companies, such as Introversion from going out of business. I remember during the summer, after purchasing the ‘Humble Indie Bundle 3’, I excitedly showed each game to my ten year old cousin. It was a selection of games with a ‘name your price’ type business model, with money being divided between the developers/charity/website hosting the games. It was something different from the usual games he played but to my disappointment he seemed less interested at each passing game, leading me to the conclusion ‘oh you can’t shoot people in it, you wouldn’t like it’, it is this mentality that has led the industry to where it is today. Maybe I’m just getting older but I’m sick of wasting my time playing round after round of team death match in COD. Unique experiences which offer me something new is what I want. From Aquaria, a Metroidvania type

game which takes you on an ambient journey to learn the fate of the protagonist’s ancestors, to VVVVVV, a one button platform/puzzle game, there is something for everyone. And you don’t have to have the most powerful gaming setup to run every game. Crisis, which came out in 2007 still sets the bar for PC graphics. Surely it’s a sign that developers don’t want to limit their market by making the minimum specs too high. And what’s the kicker? It’s all at an affordable price! Just last weekend I got Alpha Protocol for €2. That’s the price of two chocolate bars! There are daily sales, which see one game (big or small) get the spot light for 24 hours, there are huge summer and Christmas sales, with massive price reductions on big games. Beside Alpha Protocol and L4D2 which I’ve mentioned already, I’ve seen Battlefield: Bad Company 2 and all DLC for €12.50, Borderlands for €7.50, Fallout: New Vegas for €14.99. All brand new! And that’s only a tiny example

longer the case. EA are making gradual strides toward replicating the gritty reality of old style management games, while still retaining the easy pick-up-and-play facet that has ensured the series is still a huge seller today. Football Manager it isn’t – and it is all the better for it. Casual fans will do just as well here as the die-hards. Aesthetically, FIFA 12 looks slick and sublime, both menu screens and the on-pitch visuals have been improved yet again. Stadia and players have, in the majority of cases, been replicated wonderfully. The change of commentary (Andy Gray replaced by Alan Smith) makes for an interesting experience – Smith is far more deadpan and tactically astute than his predecessor. Subtle new features have made for a wholly new gaming experience. It is an improvement on the whole – seasoned gamers may find themselves challenged more than on previous titles. FIFA 12 is unlikely to attract hoards of new fans, though regular fans of the title will be more than appeased with what is a natural and progressive step forward.

off the top of my head. Developers also have massive discounts on their franchises, all the Rockstar/Sega/other games for €75? Who could say no? And Valve have started releasing free to play games on the service as well, the most notable being their own highly successful Team Fortress 2. It caters for everyone’s budget, no matter how big or small. The combination of great games and low prices is a juxtaposition which allowed Steam to grab my gaming heart. Now, faced with the choice of purchasing a new PS3 or a new PC I know where my money is going. I’ve only started to scratch the surface of what Steam has had to offer. So why don’t you take a look at what is on offer? Download the client and give Team Fortress 2 a bash, after all it is free.


20 Theatre & Literature

October 11th 2011

What’s On in Cork? Oct 11th-24th In our new-look entertainment guide, we will point you in the direction of the best musical and theatre performances currently showing in Cork. Kicking off with music, Cork has a host of gigs coming our way over the next few weeks. Some are a little pricier than others, so you may be forced to choose between two or three smaller acts or one big one. Cyprus Avenue is quiet over the next week, but on Friday 21st, as part of their usual series of free gigs on a Friday, they have Butterfly Explosion on stage. It won’t cost you a penny (or a cent) if you get to the venue before midnight. The following night, The Ambience Affair and Katie Kim will be performing in the same venue for just €10. Relatively quiet for

Cyprus over the coming fortnight, but thereafter it gets very special indeed. The Pavilion, on the other hand, have their usual mix of eclecticism on display. Thursday 13th will see the quartet of Taylor McFerrin, Jeremy Ellis, MOTHS and Mynameisjohn bring their creative styles to the city for just €12. Four acts, €12? There’s no arguing with that. I’d pay the €12 for MOTHS alone. Brian Deady launches his latest single in the Pav on Saturday 15th with tickets priced at just €5, while Jericho play a free show on Sunday 16th. The Crane Lane has a host of

great free shows coming up. The highlights are The Deans (Wednesday 12th) and Mike Watt & the Minutemen (Thursday 13th), though they will have the usual offbeat djs, jazz improve and last minute shows – well worth a trip any night of the week. Aside from those, Darkest Era & special guests will rock Fred Zeppelins on Saturday 22nd, Versives will play the Roundy on Friday 21st, while there’s almost always something worth checking out in the Triskel. The UCC Live Music Society will be announcing details of their second showcase (electronic themed) very soon also. For those with an interest in all things theatre, the Everyman Palace has two interesting looking shows on the horizon. B is for

Baby will run from October 11th to 15th (my advice is to check it out the first night – tickets are €10 cheaper than the rest of the run at €17.25), while Spring Awakening returns to the city after a successful run in the Granary last March. It will run from Wednesday 19th to Thursday 27th with the same system for ticket pricing. Both shows are highly rated, the former having won awards for Best New Play in 2010, the latter have garnered rave reviews upon its last run in the city. The Opera House is in the midst of a quiet run at the moment, though a mammoth series of comedy and musical shows are scheduled between now and Christmas. The highlights over the next fortnight are a performance of The Nutcracker by the

Moscow Ballet, tickets starting at €36 – not for the faint hearted I’d imagine. Beyond that, I recommend taking yourself along to the Granary Theatre at any stage purely because you never know what you might find there. Always modestly priced, the venue has a wonderful reputation among Cork people – and not just students. For film reviews, check out the section below – and don’t be afraid to cast the net further afield. The UCC Film Society have regular showings of films you may have missed the first time around, while the Triskel regularly have foreign and independent film nights. Treat yourself to something completely different.

Express Reviews We’re all in the same boat financially nowadays. At the Express, we want to make sure that when you do part with those oh-so precious funds, you are getting the best value in return. Hopefully Kevin O’ Neill’s film and music reviews below will help you avoid a bad choice along the way. The cinema has seen an interesting mix this year; the next few weeks are no different. The Gate Cinema, Cork will play host to a varied collection over the next fortnight. First up is the big one, The Lion King 3D. The Lion King was the first film I ever saw in the cinema, the songs, the scale, the animation and everything blew me away. Disney are capitalising

on the 3D craze by re-releasing a host of films over the next few years (The Little Mermaid, Monsters Inc., Beauty & the Beast, etc.) with “new” features – a handful of new tracks. Mark me down as sceptical for this one, some things just should never be touched. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is Drive starring Ryan Gosling, Bryan Cranston

and Christina Hendricks. Brutally violent, this film makes allusions toward arthouse roots, while the curious soundtrack and pink font make for a unique experience. A powerful lead performance is the highlight. While all the pieces are there, the jigsaw doesn’t quite fit and Drive just about misses the mark. Aside from those, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is still scheduled for three shows daily – slow burning and well acted, the film doesn’t quite reach the heights it aims for. Harrowing, though rather confusing so best pay attention if you check it out. Crazy, Stupid, Love sees Steve Carrell,

E m m a Stone and Ryan Gosling (again) move in for a decidedly formulaic and obvious rom-com, though it warrants more attention than The Debt, The Inbetweeners (seriously? It’s still out?) or Johnny English Reborn. On the musical front, shopping around is still your friend. For the few among us who still buy CDs (raise your hands please!), the likes of Tower Records, Plugd and CD Wow offer far greater value on new releases than HMV, though the big guns offer great prices on older titles. Of the new releases, Kasabian’s Velociraptor! demands to be bought. More experimental than we are used to from the Leicester band, it sees them step beyond their Oasis-in-waiting territory and into the arena headlining slot they have long warranted. One of the best albums released all year. We also have + by Ed Sheeran, likely to be a smash amongst those that fell for his colour by numbers songwriting pastiche earlier this year. Like ‘The A Team’? You’ll love this. Tony Bennett has a new album out – I await the crowd surge to HMV to pick it up – though duets with Lady Gaga and Amy Winehouse

have seen him become the oldest chart-topper in history, and likely to pick up a handful of new fans en route. Girls and Mastodon have new albums out, check out the full reviews of them and St. Vincent in the music section, while Blink 182 have ended their hiatus with a supposed career high in Neighbourhoods. I can’t say for certain as I am blatantly refusing to listen to it. Alt-rock fans rejoice, however, as Wilco, Deus and Feist have all release excellent new albums over the past week or two. Finally, of the most creative acts in Ireland, Jape, has released his third album. Ocean of Frequency does not scale the same heights as Choice Music Prize winning Ritual, though fans of Jape, synth based pop music or anything heavily influenced by the 1980s with a wry, cynical songwriting base should find quite a bit to enjoy on this.


25 Features

October 11th 2011

Me and my backpack go to Peru Proving that student life is not all baked beans and sneaky shoulders of vodka, Michelle Moore recounts her round the world trip. In this issue she visits an iconic Peruvian lost city. When I finished my Leaving Cert I worked full time for two years to save for the trip of a lifetime. 12-hour shifts weren’t pleasant, but the hard work was worth it, allowing me to embark on a once-in-alifetime excursion. My trip started in South America, specifically Peru. After two days and four flights I finally arrived in Cusco, the capital city of the Incas. I found my hostel after hiking the city’s narrow, cobbled and walled streets. It was August and the weather was warm during the day, up to 23 degrees, while at night it would drop dramatically, so much so that on my first night I slept with my sleeping bag as well as the hostel’s two sheets and cosy alpaca (a relative of the llama) wool blanket. As Cusco is 11,000 feet above sea level, the air is thin there and ultimately I suffered from some altitude sickness. A group of backpackers and I were sitting at a table in a local restaurant near Plaza de Armas when I, rather embarrassingly, started to retch into a tissue! Needless to say this resulted in me not getting fed that night. In fact, I didn’t have much of an appetite the whole time I spend in Cusco. Not that there was anything wrong with the food; this simply came hand in hand with the altitude sickness. Undoubtedly the Irish, including me, sniffed out an Irish pub. But it was no ordinary Irish pub. This was Paddy Flaherty’s, the highest Irish-owned pub on the planet at 10,739 feet above sea level. Located at the corner of Plaza de Armas and given the entitlement of the highest Irishowned pub in the world, somehow the pints tasted better. One day during my stay in Cusco, I ventured out like Lara Croft to the world famous Machu Picchu ruins. I went on day trip that was organised by the hostel’s travel agency. I was chased onto the awaiting train by millions of mosquitoes. The two-hour train ride certainly banished any sound thoughts of a com-

fortable journey to the town at the foot of Machu Picchu. However, the view from the window had me enthralled. The train meandered alongside the rapid waters of the Urubama River, a river that runs from the Andes to the Amazon. Flowers whizzed past the window as did the jungle’s large leaves and the occasional bunch of orchids and dahlias. Salvia (a red flower that is quite common in most areas in Peru) and kantu (Peru’s na-

tional flower) dominated the flowerbeds. Struggling to take my eyes away from the river’s edge, I looked up and was astonished at the sight of the towering mountainous ranges of the Andes. Some were snow barren whilst others were snow-capped. The Andes loomed large all the way to the horizon. I felt like a mere human in the presence of these giants. Two hours later the train arrived at the foot of Machu Picchu, and I boarded a bus to bring me up the winding, sandy road to the “lost” city above. I had seen Machu Picchu from the air when flying from Lima to Cusco a few days before. The pilot tilted the plane for a breathtaking view over the Andes. But after a ten minute hike up the steep mountain and with my feet firmly on the ground I took in my first glimpse of the ruins.

The city was nestled between Machu Picchu Mountain and the sugar loaf of Huayna Picchu. The ruins looked magical as they clung to the edge of the mountain face. Juan guided us through the ruins with insightful commentary and local lore. This walk took me to the Watchman’s Hut, Funerary Stone and through the Old City Gate to the Temple of the Sun. I explored the Temple of the Three Windows with my camera and viewed Initihuatana (a holy stone). But the highlight of the tour was the Condor Temple, dedicated to the rare condor vulture. I felt awe and wonderment. In total I spent three hours on Machu Picchu. This place has a distinctive aura. The mysterious feeling it gave me sent my imagination into overdrive. Machu Picchu and Cusco are truly enchanting places and you won’t believe that until you are there.

VOX POPS! Michelle Moore investigates what, why and who inspires students at UCC. Christine Ryan, Fourth Year Law and Irish What inspires you? I’m inspired by my family, my friends and people around me who work hard. Why do they inspire you? They have instilled important values in me to work hard. I admire what they have achieved and what can be achieved. What do you aspire to be? I aspire to be like them. Dara Desmond, MA in Contemporary Migration and Diaspora Studies What inspires you? Life inspires me. Who inspires you? All of my friends inspire me. Why do they inspire you? Because they are inspiring to me. What do you aspire to be? A million things. The best that I can be, the best mother I can be. Elaine O’Driscoll-Adam, Third year Geography and English What inspires you? The people closer to home more than what we actually think. Who inspires you? Certain people in my family particularly my two aunts. One who is 81 and other who is nearly 70. Also my mother. Why do they inspire you? They are strong women who never give up. You are never too old to do anything new. My mother taught me to be confident but not cocky. What do you aspire to be? To get places on my own merit and to never give up.

Highlights: Machu Picchu Day Tour: Backpacker Experience. US$125 each. Day trip from 6.30am to 20.30pm. Includes hotel transfers, train and bus fares, entrance fee to Machu Picchu and a tour guide. Bought from Koyllur Agenia de Viajes Y Turismo (Koyllur Travel Agency). Art: On-street artists, workshops and small art galleries around Plaza de Armas. Many Peruvian painters and sculptors showcase their artwork on the streets, in their workshops and in art galleries.

Stephen Connelly, First year BIS What inspires you? Succession. Who inspires you? My friend Adrian Coyne. Why does he inspire you? He never gives up. What do you aspire to be? To be successful in life.

Adrian Coyne, First year BIS What inspires you? Motivation to do well. Who inspires you? Barack Obama. Why does he inspire you? I like his spirit.


26 Features

October 11th 2011

In a word Lynn Harding indulges in the power of words. I come from a typical Irish family, where overt expressions of emotion are dubbed ‘Americanisms’, hugs are doled out only on special occasions and male tear ducts are removed at birth. Therefore, I sometimes rather think of myself as the emotional reservoir of the household. Whereas the rest of them see nothing whatsoever relevant to their lives in the typical ‘little engine that could’ tales of Oprah’s guests, I feel hugely invested in and touched by their experiences; “It’s just so heart-warming, you know? That girl was homeless, orphaned by heroin, and she just graduated from Harvard!” etc.

Dr. Seuss - “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”; “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you’ll learn, the more places you’ll go”.

Oscar Wilde -“Women are meant to be loved, not understood”; “No man is rich enough to buy back his past”; “We are all in From my parents’ perspective, words of inspiration are only a secondary companion to their fail-safe advice of “Just get on with it”. If you are one of the (decid- the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”. edly more pragmatic) ilk, the following quotes will be of little use to you; if, like me, you revel in heart-warming stories (albeit with a twinge of guilt), prepare to Albert Einstein - “You cannot solve a probsuspend your disbelief and embrace the sugary-sweet fairy dust of hope. lem with the same mind that created it”; “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”; “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value”. Voltaire: “Now now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies” - to the priest asking that he renounce the devil as he administered the last rites. Groucho Marx - “Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do!”

When I grow up... John Barker gets a grip on reality through simple goal-setting. I can recall that throughout the entirety of my childhood I always had a goal. Telling my mother and my father and anyone willing to listen what it was that I wanted to be when I grew up was never a problem. It may have changed more frequently than I got a haircut but still I always had my ambition, my dream and my plan. This for me always revolved around my career and what it was that I wanted to do professionally, and never did I contemplate the family plans. I do however recall that when presented with this question I claimed that I did not want to get married, I would simply have multiple one-nightstands. You may wonder where a ten year old would get such inspiration and the answer is of course Eastenders. When I decided on pursuing a degree in Drama and Theatre Studies I threw somewhat of a spanner in the works as regards my plans to be a lawyer/vet (both at the same time) and now I find myself unsure

of what it is that I want to be this time next year. It is a daunting question and one which I am simply not ready to answer and so I plan on taking a break from any studies or life-long professions. All that I need to focus on now though is finishing my degree as when decision time comes it is what I’ll need to get me where I am going: this much I know. Indeed as I have entered final year, already I have become swamped with impending assignments, presentations and class tests and I’m beginning to wonder where I will find all the time to allow myself to put maximum effort into my academic world. Between societies, academics, newspapers and a job I have succumbed to the fact that this simply will not happen and have quickly learnt the value in goal setting and prioritising. It is easily done once you allow yourself the time to contemplate such matters.

So my advice is... Step 1: Clear a space. In the middle of your panic attack, at the moment when it dawns on you just how much you have to juggle, stop, find yourself a quiet spot where you can still your racing thoughts, and breathe. Step 2: Make a list. What is it that you have to get done?

Indira Ghandi: "I don't mind if my life goes in the service of the nation. If I die today every drop of my blood will invigorate the nation" - said the night before she was assassinated. www.GivesMeHope.com - this site is for the enjoyment of any absolute hardcore saps and will challenge even the most sentimental among you. It comprises lists of short, mostly touching, often probably fictional stories of usually daily events that are designed to brighten the greyest of days. Last but not least - I am sure I cannot be alone in my fascination with famous last words. How can one have the clarity of mind to be strong, witty or enlightening when taking their last breaths? If you take nothing else from this article, maybe it will be that you will craft your own now so that you can dazzle your loved ones with your charm and panache in your final moments. So, what, if anything, should we take from such words? Are they inspirational, or merely beautiful? It’s a twist on the case of that age-old paradox: how can something that feels so right be so wrong? I defer, in this case, to an authority more decorated than myself: "A cynic is the man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing". Wilde was right.

Step 3: Number everything on the list in order of priority, and eliminate the things that aren’t so pressing. It doesn’t mean that they won’t get done but you can at least put a halt to them pressing on your mind. Step 4: Get yourself a day-by-day calendar and commit to planning a schedule. Allow a day for each task. The pages may indeed fill up but at least you know that you have allocated the time to get them done. Step 5: Take a break. Relax and unwind in some way. Have a cup of tea in front of the TV and permit your thoughts to wander into the meaningless lives of The Simpsons. Step 6: Prepare a productive means of procrastination. It is

going to happen, so why not introduce some productivity into the awful habit that ruins a lot of us. Read a novel that is not prescribed on your course, do a crossword; anything that keeps the mind ticking over. Step 7: Just do it. Dive in. Get to where you want to go because only you can make it happen. This is your time so whatever it is that you want out of college, whether it is the top degree or life experience then make sure it is top of the agenda. Finally... Step 8: Succeed.


27 Features

October 11th 2011

Everyday inspiration John Barker and Michelle Moore explore inspirational figures on a local and global level.

LOCAL Business Name: Lucy Wolfe Occupation: Managing Director of Lucy Wolfe & Associates Auctioneers, Owner of Sleep Matters Consultancy and Mother of four children. Background: Having completed a course in Auctioneering and Estate agency practice in Cork College of Commerce and Dublin Institute of Technology in 1996, Lucy has been Managing Director of her own company Lucy Wolfe & Associates since June 2000. From decision-making in creating brands and logos to setting out business and marketing plans, she has succeeded in becoming a property consultant who specialises in residential sales, valuations and property management. Continuous business and personal development keep Lucy achieving her career and family goals. Most recently she became the owner of a Baby and Child Sleep Consultancy upon achieving a Certificate in Sleep Training with OCN and University Reading. She is also a certified Gentle Sleep Coach. A mother of four children, Wolfe

GLOBAL Business Name: Katherine Graham Occupation: CEO Washington Post Background: Katherine found herself in the position of chairperson of The Washington Post following her husband’s death. Presented with the opportunity to fill the vacancy which he had left, Katherine took it despite a great lack of experience. “What I essentially did was put one foot in front of the other, close my eyes and step off the edge.” Katherine became the first female CEO of a Fortune 500 Company. Inspirational Trait: Bringing leadership to a male-dominated environment Science Name: Jane Goodall Occupation: Anthropologist, UN Messenger of Peace, primatologist and ethologist. Background: In 1960 Jane Goodall moved from England to Tanzania when she was 26. In

maintains a balance between her professional and family life. Inspirational Trait: Ability to juggle family and work life. Science Name: George Boole Occupation: Professor of Mathematics Background: Although not born in Cork, it is in Cork (UCC to be precise) that George Boole became the first Professor of Mathematics. Although then known as Queens College, what is today UCC still recognises the honour bestowed on the establishment to have such a teacher as a member of faculty. It was however in Cork that Boole devised the creatively named Boolean Algebra, which is now used in modern computers and electronic equipment. Inspirational Trait: The avid following of his passion.

the cause. Based in Midleton, the summer camp programme has become an integral part of the community. Whilst providing a facility for the mentally handicapped, it also offers an invaluable opportunity for local teens to give back to the community, to gain inexperience and to allow a constructive outlet for their free time. Margaret is a mother of two children with intellectual disabilities and in founding the organisation 21 years ago; she actively sought to lessen the burden for other parents in her position. Inspirational Trait: Acting on the community’s needs.

Causes Name: Margaret Trundle Occupation: Founding member of E.C.P.F.M.H. Background: As one of the chief organisers for the East Cork Parents and Friends of the Mentally Handicapped, Margaret can often be seen at various fundraisers and gatherings, raising awareness of

Entertainment Name: Victor Barry Occupation: Radio Presenter and Film Critic Background: Having started out on UCC Campus Radio ten years ago, Victor is now a presenter on Cork’s RedFM. Victor worked on Campus Radio for four years. Nowadays he presents Cork Talks Back in the mornings. Having never studied a course, except a briefing in libel laws, Victor’s refining and reviewing of his own professional development helps him be more successful. He insists that he never stops learning and

Tanzania’s Gombe National Park, she became a researcher of chimpanzees. With her notebook and binoculars she extensively documented the lifestyles of these primates. She discovered that chimps were not vegetarians as ordinarily thought as she observed one male chimp feeding on a baby bush pig. Her research also showed that chimpanzees have strange but rather familiar lives to humans. Most importantly, she observed a chimp making and using tools. Jane’s work has helped create an awareness of these endangered species. Equally important, the community-centred conservation programmes that the Jane Goodall Institute and Jane Goodall’s Roots & Shoots have established allow local people to become true partners in helping the survival of chimpanzees. Inspirational Trait: Establishing relevant scientific breakthroughs while engaged in some monkey business. Succeeding in establishing that primates are close relatives to humans when it comes to tool-making.

Causes Name: Share The World’s Resources (STWR.org) Occupation: Non-governmental international organisation Background: Share The World’s Resources (STWR) was founded in 2003. It is a not-for-profit organisation that is funded entirely through private donations. STWR campaigns for natural resources including water and oil to be sustained and managed in the interests of the global public. It also advocates for essential goods and services such as staple food, adequate shelter and primary healthcare to be accessible everywhere. Through research and publications STWR work to influence policy. They outline how to secure basic human needs through greater international cooperation and economic sharing. Another objective is to raise awareness of how and what the dominant international economic and political systems are incapable of ending poverty, creating a sustainable economy, or mitigating climate change.

the drive to continue to make breakthroughs on radio keeps him going. Not only is he a presenter, he is an avid film critic whose opinion is respected by many people. You can find his reviews on his independently run website themoviebit.com. Inspirational Trait: Ambition and commitment to a field of interest. Literature Name: Frank O’Connor Occupation: Author Background: Although best known for his short stories, his body of work also boasts literary criticisms, essays, travel writing, translations, plays, poetry, dramas, novellas and biographies. A lot of his writings are based on true life experiences. In some of his stories he reveals childhood memories of his early life here in County Cork. Not only was he influenced by his childhood but he also reflected about his experiences in the Irish War of Independence and the Irish Civil War. Frank’s most famous works inInspirational Trait: Key messages are Share, Unite, Cooperate, Live Simply and Act Now. Entertainment Name: Jennifer Hudson Occupation: Actress and singer Background: Jennifer Hudson sprang to fame in 2004 as a finalist in American Idol. Missing out on the winner’s title, Jennifer subsequently progressed her career through television performances, an album and her role in the movie Dreamgirls. On her way to superstardom, Hudson suffered an awful family tragedy which resulted in the untimely deaths of her mother, brother and nephew. Hudson halted her pursuit of fame to take the time to come to terms with events and to work on stabilising her remaining family. Today Jennifer is back creating new music as well as being the proud mother of David Daniel Otunga Jr. Inspirational Trait: Resilience Literature Name: The Freedom Writers Occupation: Teacher and stu

clude a biography of Michael Collins, which was published in 1937, and “Guests of the Nation”, a short story published in 1931. Locally we can enjoy a service provided in Frank’s remembrance. The Munster Literature Centre at 84 Douglas Street was his birthplace. Each year the centre celebrates The Frank O’Connor International Short Story Festival and showcases the most valuable literary prizes for its Frank O’Connor International Short Story Award. Inspirational Trait: The writer of over 150 works including memoirs and short stories which are all mostly set here in Cork and appreciated all over the world.

dents Background: Erin Gruwell is a high school teacher in California who saw the need to change the dynamics within her classroom. Upon meeting her class, she soon discovered that it was a class divided by strong racial barriers and that historic events such as the holocaust were unheard of to them. In an attempt to tear down these barriers and to install in them a desire for education, Erin used diaries to express their innermost thoughts. Over the course of her teaching them, the students kept diaries and therefore documented their individual journeys of personal growth. With a collection of their work, The Freedom Writers Diary, Erin and her students have gone on to develop educational systems that will change the ways in which students are schooled. Inspirational Trait: Bravery in the public expression of their individuality through the written word.


The New Corker

October 11th 2011

Pressure - By Christine Dilworth Emily sat starring at the same coffee stained spot on her table, looking utterly confused. She just couldn’t understand why her best friend, Mel, would do it. Mel and her friend Stephanie had left the coffee shop nearly a half hour ago, but Emily couldn’t move. She was paralysed in disbelief. It was only when the waitress came over to offer her more coffee did she awake from her daze. She got up quickly tipped the waitress and left. She walked in no particular direction. “It was definitely that Stephanie’s fault”, she thought as the confusion began to mould itself into anger. Emily hardly noticed that she had walked into a newsagent. And there it was the enemy she had been contemplating, starring back at her on every front cover of every woman’s magazine. Vogue, Hello, OK, VIP, the list goes on. Airbrushing was the crime of this generation in Emily’s opinion. Emily mused over the fact that in the society of today people could literally mould themselves, like a piece of clay, into whatever was their personal idea of beauty and what was socially acceptable to be, as a woman or indeed a man. It scared her. The idea of test-tube babies followed this thought in her mind along with images of skeleton-like runway models, who looked like they would evaporate if they lost one more inch off their already excruciatingly small waists. “Does any of this really matter”, was a question that kept swirling around ominously in her head.

“How on earth am I supposed to look like this on a daily basis” she thought, “it’s not humanly possible”. She turned away, disgusted by the flawless images and thought again of Mel. Was there any fathomable way that she could convince her to drop her illogical plan? Mel had come up with a supposedly ingenious plan to use the money she had recently inherited upon the death of her grandfather, to get a ridiculous amount of plastic surgery that she doesn’t even need. “For what purpose” Emily asked herself, “Is it even worth it?” Emily was certainly not a naïve person; she understood the benefits of that kind of work for example on burn victims or people who have suffered from certain accidents and have body altering scars. Plastic surgery could do wonders in those situations and in helping with people’s self esteem. It was the whole vanity angle she could never comprehend. But Mel, she was most definitely somebody who didn’t need it. The people of the socalled celebrity A-list had taken it so far that it had inevitably trickled down into the minds of regular people. So much so they felt the pressure to be as perfect as that completely air-brushed girl we see appearing in a handful of commercials on the T.V. and in magazines. But Mel, she was pretty without even trying to be. The list that Mel recited for her, heightened her horror as she was told of things such as liposuction on her thighs and hips, carving the bone on her lower

Clarity and Confusion By Daniel Kiniry

I once thought life was but a lie We live, we burn, and then we die But now, I think, it is a joy For good of heart, both girl and boy. I once thought life was always low A tale by idiots, sound full of woe It seems, to me, my thoughts have changed And all that anguish now seems strange

But now, I feel, all strangely hurt Tiz like I’ve died and reached a birth Back to that land of dreadful sorrow A wonder if I’ll see tomorrow I once thought life was full of hate But now, for once, I finally see, That ‘tis not life that force this weight ‘Tis but the changing heart of me.

back to give it more of a curve, breast augmentation, a nose job, fat being injected into her lips and of course Botox; the expression hindering invention. A list like this seemed extremely drastic for a twenty-one year old. Recently Mel had been trying to become a working model. That is when she met Stephanie, also a model. There was just something about this girl that didn’t quite sit right with Emily. Perhaps it was her lack of her common sense and genuineness or indeed the hold she had gained over Mel and her actions; there was definitely something off about her.

Emily had no doubt that this Stephanie character had convinced Mel that plastic surgery would be such a smart move for her career. The way they gushed over their master plan at the coffee shop seemed disturbing to Emily. She won-

dered if Mel even realised the pain she was about to experience. She was scared also to think would she even recognise her best friend when she the surgery was over. Heavy heartedly Emily agreed to go along to Mel’s first consultation, hoping to shed a negative light on the whole idea. It was impossible. Mel confessed that the pressures and expectations of becoming a real model meant that she had to do something to give her that edge on the competition. No amount of persuasion however would have convinced her to do otherwise. She wanted to look like all the supposedly ‘flawless’ celebrities and models out there. She even mentioned that girl from The Hills, Heidi Montag, who systematically transformed her body to look like what was her idea of perfection. In Emily’s opinion she looked like a real life Barbie doll but definitely not in the good way. Like what Mel was getting, it was a hell of a lot of surgery that Heidi didn’t need In the end she was forced to just accept the fact that it was Mel’s body and her life so she could do whatever she wanted with them. Unlike Stephanie, Emily couldn’t persuade her friend to do what she thought was best. When Mel was finally going in for her surgery, Emily wished her luck and told her she would see her after. All the while hoping she would still be able to recognise her. The following day Emily received a phone call. It was the Doctor from the plastic surgery clinic. She sensed there was something wrong. She felt a lump in her throat and he proceeded to tell her that Mel had died on the operating table. Apparently her body couldn’t handle the stress and pressure of all the operations at the one time. It definitely wasn’t worth it.

Riddle of the week! Can Christine Dilworth riddle your mind?? The beginning of earth and the end of time, We see it in everything; it’s involved in every line, It is clear in your head; I even have it in mine, It is involved in beauty; for it always finishes sublime What is it?


29 New Corker

The end is not The End. Arts and Literature Editor Tracy Nyhan explores the end.

The tears fall, the time passes And I know that I am wrong. I am wrong in my thoughts Even four years on. The end, as we know it, Truthfully, is not the end. There will come a time when Our hearts will beat together in the same world. There will come a time when I will wipe my tears and see your face Though this time Not through a layer of glass in a frame. There will be a place where Our prayers will be answered. Where we will live forever together, Happily, among those who live in our hearts. I may have told you "good-bye", but The end is not the end: Your heart may have stopped in this world, But in another it beats on.

Whispers and wishes… Editor Christine Dilworth tells a tale in twenty words. Whispers and wishes, hopes and dreams, trials, relentless, pushing fears Wander, lost, one found, appears, alight, revived, no more tears

Riddle me this... Answer...

October 11th 2011

Lost in Translation - By Ailish Heffernan

Hollie raced off the bus in the bustling English city that is Leeds. She saw the shop that every Irish girl would go to if they were in frantic need of an emergency garment. Yes, you guessed it, Penney’s. But, there’s no such thing as Penney’s in England, which she had learned the week before. Hollie had to spend the next three months calling Penney’s, in her Irish accent, ‘Primark’. Straight away Hollie sees a pair of black high heel shoes. “Perfect!” she whispers to herself, while glancing at her watch. She had ten minutes to buy the shoes and also find the building where her interview was taking place. Hollie eventually finds the building on this Tuesday morning; she waits outside and throws on the heels. This was it; her chance to shine, her chance to find a job, and earn some money for the summer before returning home to university. She rings the bell; a speaker phone comes on. She speaks into it explaining who she is, but the door doesn’t open. Hollie attempts a second time, but to no avail. She then picks up her phone, “Eh…Hello is this Marketing Solutions? Yeah I seem to be stuck outside your building, I can’t get in”. She finally succeeds. But, there’s one problem. She can barely walk in these ridiculous high heels. After walking only a few yards, she’s already feeling the pain of Atmosphere Boutique’s finest heels. She waits in the seating area provided for the interviewee’s. She considers removing the heels and putting her pumps back on. A dilemma she only has the best of 2 minutes to solve. She decides to ask the secretary what she should do. Hollie, with her free Irish spirit, laughs while asking the tight lipped woman behind the desk. The reply she gets is, “Wear whatever you’re comfortable with wearing”. “Hollie O’ Sullivan?” said the Managing Director. Hollie shakes his hand, with her heels in the other. The Managing Director looks at her, stares at her shoes. She laughs as she walks into the interview room explaining her little mishap, “Sorry, I just couldn’t handle them to be

honest. I could barely walk from the main door into the seating area with them on”. She receives a small smirk from the Managing Director. She can’t quite figure if the reason is her Irish accent or the fact she is carrying her heels in her hand. She then says on impulse, “Shur it’s a great ice breaker anyway isn’t it?” hoping to get a laugh. She gets a laugh, that’s half the battle. The mood is more relaxed. Hollie comes home thinking, “How did I pull that one off?” She gets offered the job, but bravely turns it down as it is commission based. Being the typical Irish sceptic she is, she knows it’s not the best job,

chefs, while also learning, when you use the word ‘fecker’ it’s not taken lightly in England. The English people don’t exactly understand that it’s not quite that much of an insult in Ireland. For example, Hollie used the phrase “Ya cheeky fecker” quite often in the workplace, more as a term of endearment. But, at the start of her blossoming career as a waitress, the chefs didn’t quite understand the saying, just like many other Irish sayings and mannerisms. Hollie was leaving nightclubs when the sun was up, after having Jagerbombs which she could buy 2 for the price of £5! Yes, she was in awe at the price of

knocking on doors asking for donations to charity. She decided to try her luck elsewhere to find a different job. And that she did! She firstly lands a promotions job, to the dislike of her father back in Ireland. Hollie’s dad was against this promotion job as she was going to be promoting a sports bar. And she quickly learned that the stereotypical egoistic English ‘chap’ is a far cry from her unassuming buachaillί back home. Hollie succeeds in her promotions job, so much so that they don’t want her to leave. She was all along, in the background, relentlessly looking for a bar job. That’s all she wanted, to work in a bar. After a while she found it, a bar job and a waitressing job all in the one week. The luck of the Irish does exist! Hollie started her waitressing job in a summer garden restaurant. She had the ‘banter’ with the

drink, “Oh my God, £5? You’re serious? Lads stay away from Ireland unless you’re loaded anyway!” She was spending like no tomorrow. Top Shop, River Island, H&M, New Look, all the high street shops were literally half the price of that in Ireland. Another difference Hollie noticed was that her need for GOSH make up would have to go unsatisfied. There was no such thing in England. Imagine an internationally known makeup brand not in England. To her amazement, she couldn’t understand how a country thriving in the fashion industry didn’t have GOSH make-up. Hollie asked around in all the make-up departments of all the shops for this specific brand of make-up. All she received were confused faces to her question. She needed GOSH eye shadow; it was a fashion crisis. So she had to settle for Bourjois eye

shadow, which to her surprise was probably better than GOSH to be honest. Soon enough Hollie was coming to the end of her summer. She decided to have a little staff reunion or ‘hooley’, as she called it to the bewilderment of her English counter parts, the night before she left for Ireland. The little staff reunion ultimately turned into boarding the plane in Manchester Airport having had only two hours sleep. Hollie was sitting in row 32, seat number 7. She was lucky enough to be directly next to the unforgiving air hostess making hand signals that made no sense whatsoever to her. All she wanted was to get some sleep and maybe a quick brandy to ease the hangover. Hollie was hearing “in case of an emergency…”, but all she could think of was the flash backs of the night before. The random driver’s licence her co-worker found that belonged to a man named M. Lee Katz. The licence had an official stamp on it which read “HRH (Her Royal Highness) Prison”. Hollie told her co-worker, Beth, to look him up on her iPhone. That she did. Beth read out the following “…escaped from prison after being convicted for mass murder”. It was quite the revelation of the night. Hollie landed on the emerald isle an hour later. She slogged into the arrival lounge, briskly collected her black suitcase and met her mother at the other side of the arrivals. Hollie managed to arrive home in one piece, but was too hungover to even unpack. The following day Hollie started to unpack her suitcase. She slowly opened it, only to find she had the wrong suitcase. Hollie called her mom and said, “Why are there false passports in here?” She then found a mysterious envelope, inside of which there were ‘strict instructions’ for the next ‘targets’. One of the false passports had a photo, a man she recognised, but couldn’t remember from where. But then, she lost her breath and collapsed onto the bed with her hand over her mouth, paralysed with shock as she gasped “KATZ!”


FASHION

32 Fashion

What Katy Wore

Best in show Fashion Editor Kathryn O’Regan recounts the most remarkable fashion shows for autumn/winter ‘11.

1

Milan is Prada, and these days Prada is probably the most influential fashion house the world over. What Prada says goes. Consider spring’s chunky - soled brogues or last winter’s full skirts – Miuccia makes the trends. This season Prada marches the sixties’ mod down the catwalk, all Mondrian lines and big, playful buttons and snazzy snakeskin knee high boots. It’s Twiggy on Carnaby Street in 1966 with more than a sprinkling of that Italian polish...

2

London fashion week is all about being (a) a bit of a boy, or (b) a bit mental. Both of these aesthetics are good things in my books, and Paul Smith always fits the bill of the former perfectly. Paul Smith is unapologetically British, and much in the manner of fellow British label, Margaret Howell, there is a focus on the staple and a neat, utilitarian androgyny. Pretty much everything about Smith’s autumn collection is wearable and boyishly youthful – beanie hats, turned up jeans, oversized blazers, school boy buttoned up shirts with a smattering of polka – dot here and there.

3

Seemingly everyone loves Proenza Schouler and their particular brand of crafty – cool. Luckily, the duo did not disappoint at New York fashion week. This collection is gold, but perhaps, somewhat surprisingly even...one must cast a wry look upon any collection that shamelessly offers up Native American prints after all. However, one need not worry, the collection is urban, grown – up and bold and thankfully, there’s no attempt at recreating any kind of ethnic dress. Instead, the boys at

4

Proenza have made a smart and beautiful collection with the most devastatingly attractive array of prints and textures.

While I can’t say the collection was a personal favourite, it goes without saying that Louis Vuitton was the most talked about show to emerge from Paris. Head of house, Marc Jacobs knows how to get chins wagging, and finishing a show with Moss herself prancing down the runway in retro big knickers with cigarette in hand is likely to do just that. Of course, the key

fashion@uccexpress.ie

word is fetish – we’re talking bare breasts wrapped in sheer gauze, corset belts, stockings and boots and dangerous military pieces including coats and caps that veer on the SS side. But it’s not all a disturbing cocktail of the cheeky and threatening, the collection also features fancy skirt suits, pretty peter pan collars and lux fabrics that help to soften the show just a little bit.

B

rowsing in Topshop last week, a simple, rather non – descript black dress caught my eye. Up to very recently I have never bought into the fashion creed that thou must have a little black dress suitable for all occasions, and indeed, I have an aversion to the acronym LBD. But there was something about this black dress in question that interested me. Although body – con (one must always consider this with an understandable trepidation), there was a simple 90s-ness to it that appealed. When I think of little black dresses, it’s not Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s that springs to mind, but Kate Moss at the height of her reign in the 1990s. It’s the Kate Moss long before grainy tabloid footage of snorting cocaine in a record studio or marriages to hipster guitarists flanked by a dozen golden - haired fairy children. It’s the Moss a world away from the scraggly – haired creature in city shorts and boyfriend blazers who occupied column inches throughout the noughties, primarily due to her tempestuous and dangerous love affair with a certain rugged rock star. Instead, it’s Kate Moss the Supermodel. Kate Moss who John Galliano said of: ‘She makes things look new. She captures the now like no one else I know.’ It’s Kate Moss for Vogue Italia in September 1994 wearing a succession of glamorous black dresses with sheer

tights and pointed stilettos. It’s no lie that the internet is having a love affair with the 90s, but 90s’ Moss might need a whole new domain to itself if any more Tumblr blogs dedicated to the topic emerge. But just what is it about 90s’ Moss that continues to fascinate? Why is she still relevant? Why is Kate Moss in a white vest with cigarette and scraped back hair tagged as ‘inspiration’ on a million fashion blogs the world over? Appreciation of 90s’ Moss is a whole fashion movement in itself now. It’s an admiration of simple style that ranges from a sort of easygoing youthful grunge – think runners, maxi skirts, jeans and vest tops – to an effortless elegance for evening - short lengths, interesting textures such as velvet or crochet, top knots, smoky eyes and the aforementioned black dress. There’s no fuss, no superfluous decoration and there’s a tendency toward the androgynous which renders the whole thing with a carelessly cool attitude. This Kate Moss is timeless in the same way that Edie Sedgwick in a Breton top is, or Grace Kelly in a full skirt or Patti Smith in a man’s shirt. And it is 90s’ Moss’ particular brand of timelessness that we are after now. There is a desire to look not as ‘done’ as before but rather more thrown together and natural. And Kate Moss in a black halter dress with dirty blonde hair and crooked grin is the look that embodies this.


33 Colour

October 11th 2011

ARIES - MArch 21 - April 19

P

LIBRA - September 23 - October 22

roctology is the one area of medicine which I have never understood. I’m sure it’s very much a required profession, but it doesn’t seem very glamorous. For those unfamiliar, a proctologist is a doctor of asses. This makes me think; at what point in someone’s life did they awake with the sudden calling to be an ass doctor? And what do their college hoodies say? “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be”?

T

omorrow you will be forced to make a choice between your career and your personal desires. Or, as your lecturer would call it, sleeping in.

SCORPIO - October 23 - November 21

TAURUS - April 20 -May 20

A

t night time I often have difficulty sleeping because we in the developed world have such a disproportionate amount of resources when there are so many in African and South American countries who live in much worse conditions. You see it on the TV and in newspapers every day. On the other hand they always have really good coffee. So...you know...it’s not all doom and gloom.

E

very man in his deepest desires hopes, nay prays, that light-up shoes may one day be socially accepted again. If it ever happens it will have to be footballers who lead the way. I promise you there will be a day when Ford Super Sunday comes with an epilepsy warning.

SAGITTARIUS - November 22 - December 21

S

GEMINI - May 21 - June 20

I

have one for you, what’s the difference between attempting to finish over par in a round of golf and an equestrian jockey? One is a hunt on a course...

teve Jobs’ influence will be greatly missed. RIPod.

CAPRICORN - December 22 - January 19

T

his was one of the worst 12 letter phrases. Three years on it’s a tough thing to keep up. If you’ve ever had a boyfriend for that long you’ll know what I mean.

CANCER - June 21 - July 22

R

adioactive substances in the Kane building go a long way towards explaining the nature of students who hang out in Kampus Kitchen. Why socialise above ground when you’re gaining the ability to visually permeate walls at the slight cost of fertility? They’ll probably never notice that’s missing anyway.

AQUARIUS - January 20 - Febuary 18

E

very Sunday growing up my parish priest would put it in my mouth, while many of my friends only had to take it in the hand. It made me feel very angry every time I had to queue for holy communion.

LEO - July 23 - August 22

O

n Friday you will gain a fresh enthusiasm for exercise, after meeting attractive people in your class and wanting to be more physically desirable yourself. Unfortunately you will quickly realise that this is hard work, and running outside is incredibly uncomfortable in Irish winter conditions. You will console yourself with a bag of Doritos and a jolly good crank.

PISCES - Febuary 19 - March 20

S

orry about the Steve Jobs joke, I think it might be bad taste. I hear his funeral was very sad, but as subtle as he would have liked. Never a man for flash was Jobs Challenging Sudoku Puzzles by KrazyDad, Book 19

VIRGO - August 23 - September 22

Challenging Sudoku Puzzles by KrazyDad, Book 13

F

or those ladies who initially put a great deal of effort into their appearance at the start of term and then let this go to the wayside, I have this advice; nobody expects you to dress like you’re attending a ball in 15 minutes, but at the same time it’s too early to start preparations for Movember.

Sudoku

Sudoku #1 9 2 1 4

8 7

6 3

5

6 3 9 8 4

1 7 6 © 2011 KrazyDad.com

8 9 7 3

8 4 6 4

2

2 6

1

Those who don't study the past will repeat its errors. Those who do will find other ways to err! -- Charles Wolf, Jr.

4 5 3

Sudoku #1

2

7 3

2

4 7

5

7 1 4 5 6 1

2 8 © 2011 KrazyDad.com


34 Advertising

October 11th 2011


35 Sport

SPORT

October 11th 2011

UCC seniors far from dominant in home soccer opener David Toms UCC: 2 Carrigaline United: 2

I

n their first game of the new season, the UCC seniors, now playing in the Munster Senior League 1st Division, took on Carrigaline United. The game was played at the College’s home ground of The Farm. Carrigaline were lining out for their fourth match of the season, with 6 points taken from their first three games. Carrigaline beat Tramore Athletic last weekend 4-2 and the week previous beat Ballinahassig an astounding 4-1. With such form behind them, this game was always going to be a difficult one for the men wearing the skull and bones in their opening fixture. It’s worth remembering however that UCC’s seniors are the premier college side in the coun-

try, having won the 2011 Collingwood Cup. Some of that quality was on display during this match with UCC scoring two good goals, but the two goals weren’t enough in a game which saw UCC reduced to ten men in the second half. UCC’s opening was very positive indeed, with Eoin Kilcommon’s getting a good cross off onto Steve Mahon’s head but was prevented from going in inside the first fifteen minutes. The good work and positive opening were given a big setback however when in the 22nd minute of thegame, Carrigaline were gifted a goal, when keeper Eoin Kelly appeared to make a serious error of judgement. The goal was responded to not ten minutes later however when the man wearing the number 10, Simon Holland scored a solid effort. Soon after this a free came once again for Carrigaline, with shouts coming from their ranks to

“work the keeper” but Kelly, keen to make up for his earlier mistake was stead-fast in the goal. Right before half-time UCC took a deserved lead. Simon Holland scored an absolute screamer to put College ahead as the game lurched towards half-time and the rain that came with it. During the break, the rain came down heavy and continued for much of the second half, leaving the pitch to be cut up in a ferocious fashion. At around the hour mark, UCC made their first substitution. Paul Lawless, sporting the number 13 jersey came off the bench and replaced Eoin Kilcommons. Lawless didn’t see but five minutes of action in the game if that. Pumped up for the game, an overzealous initial tackle left him yellow-carded inside a minute of coming in. From that free the ball made its way to the left-wing of the UCC penalty area where a piece of madness ensued and Kelly along with Lawless caused

considerable confusion. Lawless handled the ball in a direct attempt at stopping it going into the UCC goal and was thus unceremoniously sent off with the brandishing of a red card. The reaction from the UCC assistant coach was such that he too was given his marching orders. Predictably enough, the penalty was coolly dispatched by Kelly of Carrigaline. After that the game was a real struggle for UCC, but for the last fifteen minutes or so they made a brave effort to rally and did so in admirable fashion, adopting an all-out attacking strategy with several chances coming close. In all they will feel that it really should have been a three-pointer and not the solitary point they got for the draw. Doubtless they will be upset by their own occasional lack of discipline in this match. UCC: Eoin Kelly, Kyle O’Shea, Steven O’Brien, Andrew Neville, Shane O’Connor, Luke Burgess,

Rob Waters, Steve Mahon, A.N.Other* (sub Shane Hegarty 73)Simon Holland (sub Conor Barry 73), Eoin Kilcommons (sub Paul Lawless 60) Subs: Conor Barry, Paul Lawless, K. Mahony, Shane Hegarty, Dan Murphy. Carrigaline: Gary Noonan, Ronato, Darren Kelly, Tim Mawe, Mike Kiernan, Keith McGovern, Luke Kelly, A.N. Other*, Hugh Shields, Dan Kelly, Karl McPherson. Subs: Conor Brennan, Calem Jones, Kyle Kinsella, Cathal O’Shea, John Harty. *Missing names as recorded on referee’s card Make sure to get out and support the lads this season so we can see them back up to the Premier Division. Check out their Facebook page “UCC Soccer” for news about fixtures.

Football mercenary or dedicated family man The recent scandal involving Carlos Tevez has had an overwhelming response of negative criticism; David Mulcahy challenges the justifications of this.

D

isgraceful! Unprofessional! Greedy! Sack Him! These are just examples from the many statements made by various football pundits and ex-professionals of the much loved sport; upon hearing of world renowned football star Carlos Tevez’s decision not to play when called on by his manager, and crucially when needed by his team-mates. But was this outcry justified or should Carlos Tevez, the human being, be applauded? With Manchester City trailing 2-0 to German giants Bayern Munich in the UEFA Champions League group fixture and approximately 60 minutes on the clock, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini was unmistakeably left red-faced with fury as substitute Tevez had done what is seen to be the unthinkable within the football world - he refused to play! One’s immediate reaction would be exactly the same as those pundits and ex-players and no one can blame the loyal blues fans for feeling irate having just seen what had taken place; bearing in mind that the majority of them that travelled to the game in

Munich spent close to £1000 of their well-earned money to do so. The very notion of what the Argentinean International did must send blood boiling throughout the blue side of Manchester and leaving the red side now having to wait their turn to de-face that massive billboard of the man himself welcoming everyone to Manchester. This really is the sign of the times though, as player power is seen to be crippling football clubs into submitting to their every demand. Long gone are the days when a club could decide when and where a player plied his trade, leaving the player with very little choice. Maybe, in one sense, this incident could be seen as the players’ revenge. But isn’t the massive wage, which is essentially clawed from the public’s pocket every week, enough for these superstars? Take the man in question for example. Carlos Tevez earns an astonishing £250,000 a week for the line of work he is in. Yes I did use the word work, even though most would assume it is just kicking a ball around a field, as it still takes a lot of determination and motivation to stick to a

strict lifestyle of healthy living in order to remain in peak condition for maximum performance as a professional footballer. So therefore, it is a job and not just a kickabout. But with the many sacrifices comes a mountain of financial gain. It could be seen as an outrage then that Tevez, on £250,000 a week, should refuse to work for all the wealth that has been bestowed to him by his employer. This situation should not be seen to be as black and white as first thought though. Removing ourselves from the global football bubble for a moment, and by viewing this scenario from a slightly different angle, we start to see valid reasons for the previously thought insane and unjust behaviour. Here is a man that has claimed on many occasions prior that he is unhappy because his family can not settle in the country. For obvious reasons they have expressed a desire to move to a country that has a lifestyle and climate they are more accustomed to. This desire from Tevez recently found Manchester City secretly looking to secure some kind of deal in the summer transfer window which would see the player get his

wish. But alas with such high demands in transfer fees and wages there was no club in the market willing to step up. Frustration was clearly tormenting the mind of the former City captain and he did what I am sure every husband and father would do in his situation with his family’s wellbeing and happiness at heart. At the time of writing, the future of Carlos Tevez’s football career is yet to be determined. After this scandal there is surely no way back for Tevez as a Manchester City player and it proves to be a difficult dilemma for the hierarchy of one of the world’s richest football clubs to deal with. How do they offload a player with a wage of £250,000 a week and

should command a transfer fee of around £50m without making a substantial loss? On the other hand, if he does grace the Etihad Stadium with his blessed football skills in a blue jersey again that would almost certainly mean the end of Roberto Mancini’s rein as City’s manager, thus ultimately strengthening the might of player power within the game to a frighteningly high level.


October 11th 2011

36 Sport

UCC triumph in the park Michael Twomey

UCC 0-12 Avondhu 0-08

U

CC produced a fine display to see off the challenge of divisional side Avondhu in the Cork County Senior Football Championship semifinal at Pairc Ui Rinn and book a final meeting with Castlehaven. UCC, who had built plenty of momentum after championship victories over Carbery, St.Nick’s and Clonakilty managed to keep their opponents at bay for the hour. The key to UCC’s win was the final display of their defence. As a unit they snuffed out the Avondhu attack limiting them to eight points while managing to keep Avondhu’s danger man quiet throughout. Peter Crowley did a terrific job on Cian O’Riordan at full back while Matthew Galvin did likewise on Tom Monaghan. Niall Daly was superb all through at centre back with the Roscommon man putting in a dominant display. Avondhu never really got into their stride and were unable to match their performance when defeating

last year’s champions Nemo Rangers in the quarter-final. Their forward line failed to function, bar the play of Eamonn O’Connor and were heavily dependent on O’Connor and Paudie Kissane for scores. Kissane made a big impact when moved to midfield but they will rue some poor wides in the second half when scores were there for taking. The game itself lacked any spark as both sides struggled to get any rhythm going. UCC opened up an early two point lead with their full forward line doing the majority of the damage. Paul Geaney and Daithi Casey in particular had major contributions with Geaney getting three points from play while Casey took every chance he got from placed balls. It could have been a lot worse for Avondhu only for the fine display Ray Carey who eventually got to grips with the threat of Casey and Geaney. The college outfit continued to play the game at their pace with Johnny Buckley controlling matters at midfield and they maintained their two point advantage at the break, 0-6 to 0-4, Mike Griffin and substitute JB

Spillane finding the r a n g e . Avondhu sought to force their way back into the game and Paudie Kissane managed to stem the influence of Buckley at midfield while also leading his side forward. Kissane’s hard work paid off with O’Connor getting his third point of the night to help narrow the gap to one with 15 minutes remaining. However, they were unable to draw level in the second half as UCC pushed on in the closing stages. Avondhu’s search for a badly needed goal almost paid off 10 minutes from time but Tom Monaghan was kept out by the excellent UCC defence. The college finished well with Brian Coughlan impressing when introduced from the bench as Casey and Will Kennedy added fine points from play to seal victory for their side. Scorers for UCC: D Casey 0-5 (0-4fs), P Geaney 0-3, M Griffin, JB Spillane, W Kennedy, N Daly 0-1 each. Scorers for Avondhu: P Kissane (0-1f, 0-1 45), E O’Connor 0-3 each, C O’Riordan (f), T O’Shea 0-1 each.

UCC: S Mellet (Carrigaline, Cork); M Hickey (Carrignavar, Cork), P Crowley (Laune Rangers, Kerry), M Galvin (Ballymacelligott, Kerry); T Clancy (Fermoy, Cork), N Daly (Padraig Pearses, Roscommon), S Kiely (Macroom, Cork); J Buckley (Dr Crokes, Kerry), W Kennedy (St Michael’s, Cork); J O’Sullivan (Kilcummin, Kerry), S Beston (Mitchelstown, Cork), M Griffin (Na Gaeil, Kerry); S O’Brien (Kenmare, Kerry), D Casey (Dr Crokes, Kerry), P Geaney (Dingle, Kerry). Subs: JB Spillane (Castlegregory, Kerry) for J O’Sullivan (18), B Coughlan (Kinsale, Cork) for S Beston (40), S Hannifin (Ballyteague, Kildare) for S O’Brien (56).

Avondhu: C Conway (Clyda Rovers); N Barry (Grange), R Carey (Clyda Rovers), O O’Hanlon (Clyda Rovers); P O’Flynn (Ballyclough), P Kissane (Clyda Rovers), C O’Connell (Killavullen); H Dockery (Mallow), E Stanton (do.); J Hutchings (Fermoy), K Sheehan (Mallow), E O’Connor (Kildorrery); T Monaghan (Kildorrery), C O’Riordan (Mallow), T O’Shea (Ballyclough). Subs: B Norris (Killavullen) for O O’Hanlon (19), D Hayes (Mallow) for C O’Connell (HT), V O’Donoghue (Araglin) for K Sheehan (55). Referee: Michael Collins (Clonakilty).

The UCC Express is seeking writers We accept content from all students, if you are interested in contributing then contact the section editor for your preferred area (listed on p.2). We are also looking for an individual to fill the role of Sports Editor, any interested parties should apply to editor@uccexpress.ie.


UCC Express Volume 19 Issue 2 Oct 11 2011