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March 29-April 4



» Dr. Michio Kaku is JUST ONE



Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative


pop pastiche

» CALVIN JOHNSON draws on wide-ranging influences for his lastest project





Stuart Heights Baptist Church at Coolidge Park on Easter Sunday for a community egg hunt Join

at 9 a.m., followed by an


open-air worship service at 10 a.m. The event is free to the public, and we will again hide

0 0 0 , 0 0 1 COOLIDGE

What to bring


• Easter baskets for collecting eggs • Lawn chairs or blankets for the service • A picnic lunch for after the service

Free family fun includes: • • • •

Egg hunt Face-painting Storytelling Coffee and Julie Darling Donuts

The first 500 families to have your portrait taken by our on-site photographers will leave with a free photo print.

2 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

Since 2003

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative •

EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • Michael Crumb • John DeVore Brook Evans • Randall Gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib Paul Hatcher • Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Chris Kelly D.E. Langley • Mike McJunkin • David Morton Ernie Paik • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Cartoonists Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jesse Reklaw • Richard Rice • Tom Tomorrow Photography Jason Dunn • Josh Lang Lesha Patterson Interns Britton Catignani • Kinsey Elliott Molly Farrell • Rachel Saunders



Modern ‘Mad Man’

• Brian May of Maycreate on the return of the hit show and his life as a 21st century branding and ad executive. » 7

MARCH 29-april 4, 2012 • issue no. 9.13

ADVERTISING Sales Director Lysa Greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick Leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email Got a stamp? 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402


Please limit letters to 300 words or less. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

the fine print

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.


«Wayne White

© 2012 Brewer Media

• The AEC is bringing the Chattanooga-born artist to town for a screening of the documentary based on his rich career. » 15

On the cover

BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

Brian May of Maycreate photographed at the Easy Bistro in downtown Chattanooga on Friday, March 23, by Jason Dunn

Negotiate the price of your bottle of wine with your server in an entertaining exchange!

Join us for

Raid the Cellar on April 11

April Happy Hour Special: 1/2 Price Glasses of Wine from 5 to 6 p.m. Monday-Thursday 200 Manufacturers Road v One North Shore v 423.305.1352 v Sunday-Thursday 5-9p v Friday & Saturday 5-10p v Sunday Brunch 11a-3p Reservations Recommended v Free Parking • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 3




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Notable Names

Small college lures top speakers known as a futurist and science literacy advocate, internationally known theoretical physicist Dr. Michio Kaku visits Chattanooga State at 6 p.m. on Thursday, April 5, in the health fitness center on campus. Kaku will present a lecture entitled “Physics of the Future.” The event is open to the public and admission is free. “We initially choose speakers who students recognize, who are current on the latest scientific discoveries, and who can relate these discoveries to audiences in terms that are relevant and comprehensible,” said Phyllis Mescon of Chatt State Student Affairs. Kaku was chosen as a guest speaker by a committee comprised of faculty, staff and students. Mescon said that the committee seeks to bring nationally prominent, highly credentialed science educators whose interactions are universally acceptable for students to participate in the experience. Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson was the first speaker, she said, and he was very popular among the student body. Mescon said they are expecting a similar experience with Kaku’s visit. Kaku is a dedicated educator, an acclaimed author, host of two nationally syndicated radio broadcasts, host of a television show, and a valued consultant collaborating on scientific projects around the world. He continues the work of Albert Einstein as principal researcher in the global effort for an inclusive theory to unite the four fundamental forces of the universe. Within

4 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

this discipline, Kaku is cofounder of string field theory, the foremost model currently under consideration by the international scientific community. Kaku is a faculty member at the City College of New York, where he teaches theoretical physics and holds the title of Henry Semat Chair and Professor. In Princeton, N.J., he is also a visiting professor at the Institute for Advanced Study. Elsewhere, he is a visiting professor at the New York University and fellow of the American Physical Society. His college career began at Harvard University, where he graduated summa cum laude in 1968. From there, he continued his education

at the Berkeley Radiation Laboratory on the campus of the University of California, Berkeley, earning a Ph.D. in 1972. He then took a position on the east coast as a lecturer at Princeton University. An experienced writer, Kaku has authored college textbooks and has published more than 70 scholastic articles that span topics such as superstring theory, supergravity, supersymmetry, and hadronic physics. Kaku has developed an iconic status for creating manuscripts that position science as relevant in daily life. His publications relay the importance of science, particularly physics, in language that the public readily understands. As host of the radio programs “Science Fantastic” and “Explorations in Science,” as well as the Discovery Channel program, “Sci Fi Science,” Kaku explores science-fiction concepts such as time travel as possible experiences in the future. He also contributes regularly to programs on BBC, NBC, ABC, CBS, The History Channel, Discovery Channel, FOX News and CNN. “During his visit, Chattanooga State students will be able to interface with an internationally influential and esteemed scientist, and glean first-hand information about the global science projects on which he is very personally involved,” said Mescon. Kaku is participating as a principal researcher around the world, and he’ll share a bit of that knowledge with Chattanooga on his visit. “Without a doubt, spotlighting Dr. Kaku and his work encourages and improves science literacy among our student body,” Mescon said. —Kinsey Elliott


Movie to link history, art a team of documentary filmmakers are visiting Chattanooga this week to discover the people, organizations and places that make Southern art and design unique. Titled “Something in Particular: A Chronicle of Southern Creativity,” their project includes visits to 13 cities and will result in a full-length documentary and an interactive website with links to all the places, organizations and people they have encountered. Choose Chattanooga, a nonprofit dedicated to attracting individuals to Chattanooga and helping them relocate, is helping filmmakers James Martin, Melonie Tharpe and Cubby West, who make up the documentary team of “selfproclaimed creatives,” connect with local people doing creative things. The trio will chronicle how Chattanooga’s history and culture inform its art. The project hopes to bring attention to the need for both recognition and funding of the arts in the South as a key economic development strategy. “Wherever possible, we wanted the SIP team to experience a typical day in Chattanooga life,” said Linda Bennett, executive director of Choose Chattanooga. “ We also wanted them to interact with as many artists as possible during their visit ... where the filmmaking team can enjoy the local culture and interact with other creatives.” For more information about the project, visit —Staff


Spring brings record show the end of march brings reason to celebrate the analog world with the Record and CD Collector Show on Saturday, March 31, at the Hilton Garden Inn. The variety of CDs and vinyl available, including used and new releases, imports, rare and out-of-print titles, proves an advantage for collectors to meet and check out music as an actual physical item. All genres are represented, and both the casual music listener and serious music heads are encouraged to stop by for a visit. The event has been reduced from twice a year to annually, which Michael Pottorff of Show Logic Productions credits to the economy—namely high gas prices. He said that having the show once a year concentrates everything into one weekend, making their operation more efficient. He also said that the collector population is getting younger, noting that young folks are getting into collecting vinyl these days. The upswing of vinyl in recent years is a mystery to some, but Show Logic, who puts on the collector shows, understands that there will always be a group to reach. “Going from the concept of having the larger format in your hands, forcing you to concentrate and appreciate its form, to the concept of just a file on your computer or iPad, back to the physical form again is quite a feat, but it is happening quite often now,” said Pottorff. Pottorff said he supports local record stores, but added his shows offer another source to find music. Having promoted shows in Chattanooga for the past 20 years, Pottorff also said he has seen more knowledgeable collectors here than most other areas per capita.“The collectors in Chattanooga don’t seem to miss a beat,” he said. —Kinsey Elliott


rick baldwin


Rick Baldwin’s ‘Editoon’ comes to an end with this issue of the Pulse, we bid a fond farewell to Rick Baldwin, our editorial cartoonist for the past seven years. Baldwin had broached the idea of vacating the spot he’s held in these pages for many years earlier this year, but we convinced him to stay. Now, however, he said it’s time to move on. “My company is keeping me pretty busy right now. I’ve also been trying to get my art gallery up and running again after moving it in December,” Baldwin said. “Besides that, I’m writing new material in hopes of doing standup comedy again after 15 years or so off. I do plan on continuing cartooning but probably something more alternative and less deadline-oriented

Rick Baldwin by Rick Baldwin

that I can put on my website.” Baldwin added that he feels his recent schedule has affected the quality of his work (something we haven’t noticed) and that perhaps it’s time for another voice to take

his place. But fear not—Baldwin isn’t leaving for good. He’ll continue as a valued, less frequent contributor to the paper. Baldwin’s illustrations grace our cover at least twice a year and he’s also considering a less political cartoon for our Comix page. “I’ve had fun doing it and I hope I made some people laugh or maybe even think about something,” he said. Until we can find a talented new editorial cartoonist, look for Alex Teach’s “On the Beat” column to occupy this space each week in The Pulse. To view more of Baldwin’s work, visit his website at and REK, his contempoaray and urban art gallery at 1815 Bailey Ave. —Bill Ramsey • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

On the Beat

alex teach

Trayvon Martin? What About Keoshia Ford? “ is there another topic? you wouldn’t think so, until a few days ago, when media outlets and a few local activist organizations started to shut up. A true flavor of the week, the shooting of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Fla., has stoked racial fires and prompted rallies across the nation not seen since the last time “race” became a larger issue than “murder” in this country. Which, of course, is every day. “Murder?” Cool—so long as it’s race-on-race, or at least blackon-white or black-on-black. Is that insensitive? Well, flip on the TV on and see what kinds of “rallies” Al Sharpton is at this week. (Hint: None of the prior scenarios apply.) The best aspects of this show, in my opinion, have been threefold: One, that this was clearly an act of racism. Two, that the only photo shown of the 6-foot, 2-inch 17-year-old has been of him at age 12. And three, it turns out this wasn’t an act committed by a white man, but rather an Hispanic with a history of helping black youth and defending his neighborhood in recent weeks from a wave of crime. Hence the notable silence after all the hellraising had begun. “Oops.” I get it. The kid was a kid in a voting sense, he was unarmed, and he was killed. Does that

bear scrutiny? Holy bald eagle Jesus, of course it does—just as all murders do, and that’s the ugly word for what happens when one human kills another, right or wrong. But why is the nation’s focus on Sanford when Keoshia Ford, a young black 13-year-old girl, was senselessly shot right here in Chattanooga during the third weekend of March? She’s still lying in ICU fighting for her life, caught up in a real gang fight by real gangsters. But the Trayvon Martin shooting has Chattanooga marching because of the inherently racist “white supremacist laws” of Tennessee (according to the local Chattanooga Organized for Action’s website). That’s a huge stand to take! It does, however, explain how the news of said march isn’t being so well promulgated now

Why is the nation’s focus on Sanford when a young black 13-year-old girl was senselessly shot right here in Chattanooga in March?

that they presumably realize that the shooter in this case was not, in fact, white, but rather a Spanish-speaking Hispanic son of a Hispanic. That whole “Kill Whitey” bit absolutely lost its momentum about the time it was revealed “Whitey” had little (if anything) to do with this case. So, now the dog that has caught a car has learned that the car caught was not so much a Caucasian car as it was a Latino one—“AWK-ward!” You see, what happened here is the media presented the initial reports out of passion instead of research or fact. This lead to a domino effect of other organizations, such as Chattanooga Organized for Action,

Sunday with Steinway Featuring Combined Talents of

Tim Hinck & Tyler Shephard Reception will follow concert

April 1st, 3pm at Summitt Pianos 6209 Lee Highway • Chattanooga, TN 37421 RSVP to Buddy Shirk at (423) 499-0600 or on Facebook

to establish marches led by presumably self-hating white people infused with guilt over the inherently white-biased society that allowed the white shooter to go free for no other reason than being white. And now that the presumed white shooter is a Latino shooter, these strawgrabbing groups seem to realize they are now actually protesting against a minority even more minor than the AfricanAmerican slain in question. Besides the “white thing” I feel I have safely established, there is also the fact that Sanford prosecutors also declined to prosecute the case because there is not only not enough evidence to win a manslaughter (down from a murder) case, but verified eye-witness reports saying it was Trayvon on top of accused shooter George Zimmerman who was calling for help on those 911 tapes … and that Trayvon’s own father verified that it was Zimmerman calling for help, and not his son. And have I mentioned that the shooter wasn’t white, after all? Local activists (Chattanooga Organized for Action to be specific, lest I insult other betterinformed activists) have compared this to the 1983 in-custody death of Wadie Suttles, and the need for justice there, too. This was a case handled lo-

cally, overseen by the state, then investigated by the feds. Twice. But because the results were not what people wanted based on word of mouth, that made it wrong. Apparently the FBI colluded with the TBI and the local cops because the possibility that there wasn’t enough evidence to make an arrest made it mandatory to burn local officers at the stake at city hall “just in case”. So now that the white connection is gone between the two cases, the march that has already been planned has to go on for other reasons, lest they lose face. I understand, but I’d sure prefer they just shut up and admit they hadn’t read the other half of the story yet. In the meantime, why is the 13-year-old black female shot in the head on Bennett Avenue in Chattanooga not getting press or a Chattanooga Organized for Action-sponsored march? Is it the result of the Zimmerman’s race, or just another page they hadn’t yet read? I’m eager to find out. You should be, too. Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at alex.teach.

“Whoever you are, wherever you are on life’s journey... You’re welcome here.”

Pilgrim Congregational Church United Church of Christ Sunday • Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street •

Liberal • Progressive • Inclusive • Protestant Church 6 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

MADMAN2012 BRIAN MAY on BUILDING A BRAND AND THE LIFE OF A CHATTANOOGA AD MAN IN THE MODERN AGE By Bill Ramsey Make no mistake. Brian May has no time for the high drama, sexcapades and office hijinks that make “Mad Men” such a juicy and addictive series. But he is fascinated by the show’s depiction of the creative side of an era that ended just as he was born. And he is also quite taken with the style—the classic fashions, the mid-century furniture, the attitude— that have launched a retro cottage industry. May is, after all, what you might call a 21st century “Mad Man.” His firm, Maycreate, is a top design and branding agency, and as prinicipal and creative director, May is chief evangelist of the impact of image. “Whether you like it or not, you are branding yourself from the time you wake up in the morning,” he says. In the digital era, May and his company are Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce on steroids, designing and branding—selling an image— for local, regional and national clients such as CapitalMark Bank, the Chattanooga Convention and Visitors Bureau and Honda Powersports. “The same (advertising) principles apply,” May says over a cool cocktail at the stylish Easy Bistro on Broad Street. “It’s all about creating a conversation.” May certainly achieved that goal with his firm’s latest project—the redesign of the City of Chattanooga’s website. While he declines to discuss the details of an ongoing project, the bidding process prompted a flurry of “conversations,” mostly in opposition to the cost. But that’s another story. With the debut of the much-anticipated fifth season of “Mad Men” just behind us, we asked May about the show, his own experience as an ad man and the difficulties—and pleasures—of running an agency in a small market in 2012. »P8

Brian May photographed on Friday, March 23, by Jason Dunn at Easy Bistro on Broad Street. • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 7


BRIAN MAY: 21st CENTURY ‘MAD MAN’ THE PULSE: While you obviously can’t speak to the era of advertising portrayed in “Mad Men”—and this is Chattanooga, after all— how do you feel about the show and what it says about advertising in general? BRIAN MAY: There are things that I love about the show—when the writers take the characters deeper into the creative process, the research, the accidents and how much effort goes into “doing what we do.” The parts I can live without are, quite frankly, the things that drive the ratings in all likelihood. I’m speaking of all the soap-opera drama and sub-plots, but, hey, not everyone lives and breathes advertising and branding. Most interviews with ad men of the “Mad Men” era who occupied similar roles as Don Draper mostly say they were not like him. What character do you most identify with? Actually, I’d say Don Draper. In the sense that I’m loyal to my team, enjoy the creative process more than any other part of the business, and only want to work with clients that respect us and desire a creative partnership. I’ve been known to ask a client to work with another firm when the fit’s not right. We all know Don Draper would do that. One of the fascinating aspects of the show is that is shows how products we are familiar with were advertised and marketed in the past. Fictional or not, the characters don’t actually seem to have

8 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

much respect for their clients or their products. What product or service are you most happy with being associated with and, conversely, which one are you sorry you helped? Not a campaign but a product or service. It’s a simple belief that if you take the clients that you want to work with you’ll always have fun and do your best work. One of our favorite clients locally is CapitalMark Bank and Trust. They have a great banking model and their customer service is off the charts (as evidenced by their success). CMBT has been a client of Maycreate’s from the very beginning days of the bank. We have a great relationship that fosters a healthy amount of dialog, which in turn produces great creative. As for the product or service we’re sorry we helped, this large retail chain in Atlanta comes to mind. After only 90 days of working with them we decided we’d resign the account. It wasn’t so much about their service or their products as much as it was about how they treated us. Not very respectful at all, which I find funny considering they hired us. With the advent of the Internet and the appearance that it is changing everything one way or another, how would you suggest to someone who might want to get into the advertising field, how they would go about it? What would you do if you were just starting out today? I wouldn’t change my path at all. I like challenges and believe that the only way to move forward

is to always challenge yourself in some way. It keeps the mind sharp, client’s like sharp minds. As for a “recommended path,” I don’t believe there is one single and correct path. But I do recommend these steps: —Go to a college or university and learn from professors that have actually practiced professionally. —Get the best internship you can. Not one of those where you run errands and fetch Starbucks. I mean the internship where you wake up one day scared to go in because you’ve been knee deep into the process and you don’t know what you’re doing. This will help you understand whether or not you’re cut out for the business. At Maycreate every intern we’ve ever had has been working on a real project with real deadlines from their very first day. —Don’t take the highest paying job right out of school. Sometimes the best place to get started is at a print shop. Go to work for less money at a more talent-laden shop. This will help you more in the long run than you’ll realize. —Be willing to resign a job when you’ve outgrown the position. Even if it means taking less pay to work somewhere that will help advance your knowledge and skills. —Stand up for your creative. It may not make it to the client pitch, but if you don’t believe your ideas are best for the client, who will? The account executive won’t stand up for the creative if you aren’t willing to do so yourself. —Do not be afraid to fail.

—Do something you’ve never done before. What have been the biggest changes in advertising since you first started? The Internet—and I like it. We can now measure whether something works within a few days. Tweak it, change it and watch the reaction happen. It’s really a nice change from the traditional, almost non-measurable forms of media. But don’t get me wrong—I still love a beautifully crafted headline with copy that’s supported by a brilliant visual. How does a Chattanooga-based ad agency thrive and survive in the modern era. In other words, what has been the key to your success running an agency in a small market? This is pretty simple. Love the market you’re in and have clients in other markets as well. I’ve seen this in other, larger cities first hand. Every agency, no matter the size of the market, should have clients in other markets. Those of us running creative businesses in Chattanooga would like to see more dollars stay here, but the truth is every market says that. I know agencies in Atlanta that complain about work going to New York. Do you think companies and agencies have gone too far in selling concepts rather than products? Do you think there is too much forced humor in ads today, making the ad, and not the product, the focus? There aren’t enough pages to do this question justice. There are books written debating the conceptual versus the “just the facts” approach to advertising. I will say this, I wish more automotive commercials would show

There are things that I love about ‘Mad Men’—when the writers take the characters deeper into the creative process, the research, the accidents and how much effort goes into “doing what we do.” The parts I can live without are, quite frankly, the things that drive the ratings in all likelihood. I’m speaking of all the soap-opera drama and subplots, but, hey, not everyone lives and breathes advertising and branding. more of the actual car. Could a high school dropout be able to work their way up from the mail room in 2012? Is there actually still a “mail room”? Sure, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I’ve worked at the places that had mail rooms. Not very much fun to be had, but I learned a lot while I was there. There is a mail room—it’s on your desktop or in your hand and it goes with you everywhere. Do you think, if transported, would a 1960s ad man be able to compete in the current environment? Yes, good creative people adapt quickly and must be able to think on their feet. I’m not saying Don Draper would understand email on day one, but he’d get it after he realized that he no longer had a secretary. Several times, Don Draper has a “a-ha” moment when an idea hits after he’s struggled to come up with a concept to present. I’m interested in your experi-

ence with those kinds of moments and the campaigns that resulted. The local example of that was the “What is Art 2 Me” campaign we did for Allied Arts a few years ago. We worked on concepts and ideas for weeks. The challenge was to communicate to the general public that everyone experiences art and design daily. Then we needed to come up with a way to engage people and get them involved in the process. After working for hours and hours I was driving across the Market Street Bridge with Monty Wyne (Maycreate’s senior creative director who spent more than 25 years at ad agency giant J. Walter Thompson) when he said, “The real question is what is art to me as an individual.” We both looked a one another and immediately went back to the studio and started working around that idea. The end result was a campaign that encouraged people to take empty photo frames, hold it up to whatever they saw as art and take a photograph of it and post it on the website. It turned out to be the perfect solution.

1200 Taft Highway Monday - Friday 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

1300 Broad Street Monday - Friday 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

10 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •




» pulse picks

B.B. KING THU 03.29 At 87, the King of the Blues keeps traveling, bringing “Lucille” and the hits along with him. 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050


MUSIC B.B. King • Blues legend brings the thrill to Chattanooga. 8 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. • (423) 757-5050



“Be Still and Know” Opening

Yacht Rock? Turn It Up! Do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain?


here is a certain brand of music from the 1970s we can all live without— does Gilbert O’Sullivan come to mind?—but there is also a rich gold mine of tunes from that decade that have stood the test of time and deserved to be heard again and played exactly the way we remember. Enter Atlanta’s Yacht Rock Schooner, one of several bands in the Yacht Rock Revue stable, who perform spoton renditions of the classic music of Hall & Oates, Steely Dan and, as their website proclaims, “the rest of the TimeLife Infomercial Catalog.” The Schooner is a tighter, leaner version of Yacht Rock Revue, which as you might imagine was born of the sea, performing on cruise ships much like the “Love Boat.” Blurring the lines between a tribute, an original act, and a comedic troupe, the Yacht Rock bands have forged a unique niche and attack each song as if it were their own while maintaining the signature licks and riffs of the originals. Love the ’70s? Like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain? Hop aboard the Schooner. Catch them live on Friday, March 30, at Rhythm & Brews.

• A variety of regional artist’s work on display. 5 p.m. • Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. • (423) 266-4453

FRI03.30 MUSIC “The Gondoliers” • 19th century comic opera. 7:30 p.m. • UTC Roland Hayes Hall 725 Vine St. • (423) 425-4601 •

EVENT Etta May • Southern-fried comedy. 7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Road • (423) 629-2233

SAT03.31 MUSIC Mighty Sideshow with Black Betty • A little hard rock for your Saturday. 10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 •

EVENT Roller Girls Season Opener • Hometown roller derby. 7 p.m. • Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. • (423) 756-0001

SUN04.01 MUSIC New Madrid with Woodfangs and Feaux Ferocious • Indie rock at its purest. 8 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E Ml King Blvd. (423) 266-1400

EVENT Louie & Ophelia • A contemporary look at love in middle age. 4 p.m. • Barking Legs Theatre • 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 • • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 11


richard winham

Calvin Johnson’s Pop Rocks

anyone familiar with calvin johnson will likely agree with the reviewer who recently hailed him as “one of the weirder ducks in local music” in the Olympia, Wa., alternative paper, The Weekly Volcano. An outsider with a long history as a performer and promoter in Olympia, Johnson owns K, a highly regarded record label that seeks to “explode the teenage underground into passionate revolt against the corporate ogre world-wide.” Kurt Cobain was a fan. He had the label’s logo—a K inside a shield—tattooed on his arm to remind him “to try and stay a child.” As it is for Johnson, the challenge for Cobain was staying true to youthful ideals. Since 1982 Johnson has been providing a home for artists outside the mainstream striving to maintain their integrity. The label’s music is a democratic, wide-ranging mix of styles from punk to the silent film soundtracks of Timothy Brock performed by the Olympia Chamber Orchestra. The players are largely local, but over the years the label has recorded artists from as far away as Australia, Japan, Germany, Scotland and England, as well as Canada. Johnson (who was born in 1962) didn’t waste any time getting started. He was 15 when he began working as a DJ at KAOS, a local community-run radio station with a playlist composed entirely of music released on indepen-

12 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

dent or artist-owned labels. More than three decades later, Johnson remains resolutely opposed to what he sees as the corrupting influence of corporate values on popular music. Johnson’s latest project is a trio called The Hive Dwellers. On their debut album, “Hewn From The Wilderness,” Johnson sing-speaks offbeat ditties voicing the concerns, frustrations and fleeting joys of the marginalized, misun-

derstood teen who probably spends more time alone than is ideal. His voice is a rich Johnny Cash baritone salted with Lou Reed’s snarky sardonicism. He has Jonathan Richman’s everyman sensibility as a singer, while his writing reflects a deep affection for every era of rock ‘n’ roll, but particularly Brill Building pop and 1970s Max’s Kansas City punk and its aftermath in ’80s Athens, Ga. The album is a rich stylistic smorgasbord. The first song that caught my ear, “Sitting Alone At The Movies,” is a droll portrait of a lonely boy cautioned against “turning around” in his seat in the theatre lest he catch a glimpse “of the couples doing / what they’re doing / smiles and

snuggles … .” A silly, sorry tale pushed along by shuffling drums and a cheesy Farfisa, it’s a pitch-perfect lyrical pastiche of the lugubriously self-pitying girl-group ballads so popular for a time in the mid-’60s. Move over Leslie Gore, make room for Calvin Johnson almost tripping over the words as he tries to cram too many into every bar in his haste to console the lonely soul. The album opens with “Messed Up And Ramblin,’ ” a rhythmically chopped rockabilly stomp with some tasty Duane Eddy-ish guitar. That’s followed by “The Dignity of Saint Jude,” a slice of airy mid-60’s AM pop melodicism with a jangly “Sweets For My Sweet” guitar riff while Johnson’s dour, almost tuneless vocal gives the sugary pop a slightly subversive Velvet Underground edge. After all these years, Johnson still wakes up every day ready to hit the ground running. “I like touring,” he told one interview recently. “We’re never going to be on the radio. Playing shows all over the country, people can put a face to the name or the music. It’s a good way to meet people and let them know we’re still alive.” Calvin Johnson and The Hive Dwellers 7 p.m. Friday, March 30 Sluggo’s 501 Cherokee Boulevard (423) 752-5224

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.


Party at the


Thur 03.29 McKays Road To Nightfall: The Finals 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 David Peterson’s 1946 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 Queen B & the Well Strung Band 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 PLM Spring Tour featuring Gramatik & Break Science with Paul Basic 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 The Deacon Brand Reeves, Sweet and Lowdown Band 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 Baby Baby, Guilty Pleasures Dance Crew 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

Fri 03.30 Spiritual Roots AKA Smooth Country 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 Bounty Hunter 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 Andy Davis 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 Kathy Tugman 9 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St.

(423) 424-3775 Mustache Friday! Waxfang, Glowing Bordis, Formidibles 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Skin Deep 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 Patrick Scott Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Troy Underwood 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Ryan Oyer 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 Country Thunder 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 Yacht Rock Schooner 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644

Sat 03.31 Finesse 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 Kathy Tugman 9 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775 Wick It The Instigator, SoCro 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Brody Johnson and the Dirt Road Band 9 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 Ian Hall 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St.

(423) 634-9191 Skin Deep 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 Mario Diaz 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Dark Horse Ten 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 Country Thunder 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 Mighty Sideshow, Black Betty 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644

Wednesday • March 28

Casper & The Cookies • Mythical Motors Courter, Clouse & King

Thursday • March 29

Baby Baby Guilty Pleasures Dance Crew

Mon & tue

Friday • March 30

Moustache Friday! Waxfang Glowing Bordis • Formidibles

Saturday • March 31

Wick It The Instigator with SoCro

Sunday • April 1

New Madrid • Woodfangs Feaux Ferocious

Wednesday • April 4

Molly Gene One Whoaman Band Saturine Tales

Thursday • April 5

Wed 04.04 Molly Gene One Whoaman Band, Saturine Tales 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Cumberland Collective 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays OPEN MIC CONTINUES!




Tue 04.03 Zeds Dead The Living Dead Tour with Omarlynx 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929


5-Week Guitar & Bass Contest

Long Gone Darlings Hardin Draw • Sans Abri

Sun 04.01 New Madrid, Woodfangs, Feaux Ferocious 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

All Week Long!







29 $1 BEER 10-11PM FRI. FRI 10p 30

THU. 8p



SAT. 10p






31 sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH


WED. 9p





Party on Two Floors!

1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi Bar

Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, March 29: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, March 30: 9pm Troy Underwood

Saturday, March 31: 9pm Ian Hall

Tuesday, April 3: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers


regular gigs

Thursdays Open Mic: Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. • (423) 634-9191 Songwriters Showcase: Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. • (423) 634-0260 Thursday Night Fever with DJ Barry 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 • Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055

Fridays Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 • Bluegrass Night 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 •


Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 •

Nightly Specials Mon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz! Thur: Burger & Beer Night Sat: $2 Domestics 4pm to Midnight


Wednesdays Live Jazz with

The Ben Friberg Trio Thursday • March 28 Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist and Special Guests

Friday • March 30 • 10pm

Ryan Oyer $3 cover

Saturday • March 31 • 10pm

Dark Horse Ten $5 cover

850 Market Street• 423.634.0260

14 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

Mondays Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 •

Tuesdays Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 •

Wednesdays Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. • (423) 634-0260 Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065

Between the Sleeves ERNIE PAIK

Pre-Star Power as a teenager, alex chilton helped to deliver the No. 1 hit “The Letter” for the Box Tops in the late 1960s, supplying his age-defying, gruff vocals. In the early-tomid ’70s, Chilton was the front man for the highly influential proto -g uit a r-power-pop band Big Star, whose first three albums—“#1 Record,” “Radio City” and “Third/Sister Lovers”—are nearly flawless and packed with unforgettable melodies. Alex Chilton In the time period be“Free Again: The tween Chilton’s partici‘1970’ Sessions” pation with these two (Omnivore) groups at the age of 19, he recorded the solo album “1970” at Ardent Studios, which was shelved until its first official release in 1996. The package at hand, entitled “Free Again: The ‘1970’ Sessions,” revisits the album with different song sequences and different sets of bonus tracks depending on the format: the CD includes eight extra tracks, five of which are previously unissued, while the vinyl release appends “All We Ever Got from Them Was Pain” to the end. The album may catch Chilton fans off guard, opening with the catchy, easy-going country-rock, pedal-steel-enhanced “Free Again”—most notably, Chilton’s vocals sound nearly unrecognizable, as he affects a sort of meaty, Southern accent and tone. One of the CD’s bonus tracks is an alternate version with more identifiable singing from Chilton. Unsure of a direction at times, the album often falls back on bluesy licks, like on “Come on Honey,” but it also features the gentle, piano-focused rock of “The EMI Song (Smile for Me)” and the pop-oriented “The Happy Song.” All of these approaches presage Big Star’s fresh power-pop amalgams. While most of Free Again isn’t quite as enduring as Big Star’s material, there are several notable highlights, including “Every Day As We Grow Closer,” the vulnerable, finger-picked-guitar-and-vocals track “All We Ever Got from Them Was Pain,” and, oddly, a messing-around-in-the-studio take of the Archies’ “Sugar, Sugar,” oozing with sleazy abandon. Although uneven, “Free Again” is definitely recommended for Chilton fans, documenting a vital period of uncertainty when he’s working out his vocal identity and trying out genres.



Respect, Richly Deserved By any measure, Wayne White is a multi-talented national treasure. And he’s from Chattanooga. So, why does he get no respect in his own hometown? By Zachary Cooper back in 2009, a review copy of a rather large coffee table book was sent to our offices. Life has been a little different ever since. The book, “Maybe Now I Will Get The Credit I So Richly Deserve,” is dedicated to the work of Wayne White. Artist, puppeteer, sculptor, painter, revolutionary, visionary, Emmy Award-winning— White is all these things and a master of more than a few. White has the extraordinary ability to work in set design, video, painting and sculpture, yet with each project he retains his own DNA. It’s all distinctly different, yet distinctly his. Wayne White launched his career with his set design and puppet creations on “Peewee’s Playhouse” and went on to numerous award-winning projects such as art directing the music videos “Big Time” by Peter Gabriel and “Tonight’s The Night” by Smashing Pumpkins. There is much more beyond these impressive examples of his incredible portfolio. Google “Wayne White,” or even better, “Wayne White George Jones Head.” His

Wayne White in his studio. The Chattanooga-born artist will visit town on June 21 in conjunction with a screening of a documentary film about him and his work.

work delights, informs, entertains—it makes you think and, most often, you realize that you have the biggest smile on your face when you are looking at it. Here is the one aspect of Wayne White that still continues to surprise people who discover his work—White is from Chattanooga. Yes, he’s a native son. His parents still live in his childhood home in Hixson, where graduated from Hixson High in 1975. He proudly claims his origins

in his work. The references to this region and the “Southerness” that he knows so well is often obvious and up front, especially in some of his paintings. Wayne has appeared at two book signings in the past couple of years at Winder Binder Folk Art Gallery and Bookstore. These were less book signings and more “performances” to be accurate. Wayne displays slides of his art, tells stories about his work and gives insight into the process, all while picking around on a banjo and being genuinely hilarious. Now comes 2012 and a documentary about White and his work has just premiered at South by Southwest Film

Festival. “Beauty Is Embarrassing” is a film all about the artist, some of it shot here in Chattanooga, of course. As the reviews pile in, it’s clearly a winner for both White and writer-director Neil Berkeley. On June 21, Chattanooga gets its turn to screen the film and see Wayne perform his monologue at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre. The Arts and Education Council presents this special screening with White appearing to perform with the Shaking Ray Levis, reconnecting a performance partnership established during his last visit. White’s next visit is getting more attention—a bigger venue, more exposure—but the question is this: When will White’s work take a permanent slot center stage in his hometown? Many people have speculated about the reason why such Chattanooga-bred stars as Usher or Samuel L. Jackson don’t claim a close connection to their hometown. While that chatter continues, White has been winning Emmys, having books written about him, installing sculptures in museums across the country, and now a documentary featuring such fans as “The Simpson’s” creator Matt Groening and Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. Wayne White has produced important works of art. That much should be recognized no matter where he’s from. It just seems like a rather embarrassing oversight that there isn’t more recognition of his work in his birthplace. Word on the street is Chattanooga’s Public Art team is looking for an artist to install a large work on West Main Street. Perhaps Wayne White is up for the task. • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 15


Arts & Entertainment




B.B. KING • Blues legend brings “Lucille” to the Tivoli on Thursday. Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. • (423) 757-5050 •

Thur 03.29 “Be Still and Know” Opening Reception 5 p.m. Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453 “The Mousetrap” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 Etta May 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 David Peterson & 1946 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs

16 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 B.B. King 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050

Fri 03.30 Wildflower Festival and Native Plant Sale 9 a.m. Chattanooga Nature Center, 400 Garden Road (423) 821-1160 Etta May 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233

“The Gondoliers” 7:30 p.m. Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601 “The Mousetrap” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 Claude Stuart 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 38 Market St. (423) 517-1839

Sat 03.31 Wildflower Festival and Native Plant Sale 9 a.m. Chattanooga Nature Center,

400 Garden Road (423) 821-1160 Pow Wow on the River 9 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 266-4041 MDA Muscle Walk 9 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 Louie & Ophelia 4 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 Party with the CSO 6 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 267-8583 Chattanooga Roller Girls Season Opener 7 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 “The Mousetrap” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 Gym Masters Home Show 9 p.m. Southern Adventist University, Ackerman Auditorium, 4881 Taylor Cr. Collegedale (423) 236-2000 Claude Stuart 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839

BlackSmith’S BiStro & Bar

“The MOUSETRAP” • Agatha Christie mystery classic runs through Sunday. Chattanooga Theatre Centre • 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 •

Sun 04.01 “The Mousetrap” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 Pow Wow on the River 9 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 266-4041 Free First Sunday Noon Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 Wildflower Festival and Native Plant Sale 1 p.m. Chattanooga Nature Center, 400 Garden Road (423) 821-1160 Play Me A Riddle: Autism Awareness Event 1 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St. Louie & Ophelia 4 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347

Mon 04.02 Spring Break Camp 8 a.m. Blue Sun Studio, 199 River St. (423)322-9615

Tue 04.03 Turtle Island Quartet 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601 Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. BrewHaus, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 75 Days of Fun Times vary Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. 423) 697-1322

Wed 04.04 Art for Lunch 12:15 p.m. Booth Western Art Museum, 501 Museum Dr. Cartersville, Ga. (770) 387-1300

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

“Excellent food! Freshly and expertly prepared local fare. Great attention to detail. In other towns this food would be twice as much and half as good. Burgers are amazing. Sit outside and watch the Incline. Great mixed drinks and beer selection.” –Buster sept. 2010 Online review

Wednesday through Saturday 11am to 10pm Sunday Brunch 11am to 3pm

3914 St. Elmo AvEnuE ChAttAnoogA (423) 702-5461 Find uS on FACEbook • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

honest music

local and regional shows

The Weeks with AJ Cheek and Wavorly ($3)

Wed, Mar 28


The Deacon Brand Reeves with Sweet and Lowdown Band ($3)

Thu, Mar 29


Great Barrier Reefs with Milele Roots ($3)

Thu, Apr 5


Coming April 12: Shovels and Rope & Jonny Corndaw

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 *

Early Bird tickets on sale now at for $5 • $7 night of show

15 TVs!

Happy Hour Mon-Sat 5-8pm $1 Draft on $6 Mon & Wed Pitchers on Pool & Darts 4021 Hixson Pike • 423.825.4811



SEATED, SERVED AND ON YOUR WAY IN 30 MINUTES—GUARANTEED! Porter's Steakhouse is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days a week. We offer the "Express Lunch" each day, where you can be seated, served and on your way in 30 minutes—guaranteed! Valet parking is always free at Porter's— have your server validate your parking receipt before you leave. Facebook Fans get advance notice of special menu offerings, exclusive private events and discounts. Become a Fan today!


18 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

At the corner of MLK & Broad Street Downtown

The Read House

423 266 4121



Charlie’s—What a Sports Bar Should Be “ By D.E. Langley

in business for a bit more than a month now, the folks at Charlie’s Sports Bar and Grill on Hixson Pike have begun transforming their location into the ideal sports bar. That process has entailed introducing elements that are a crucial part of the sports bar experience. A great sports bar is more than just a watering hole. One crucial distinction between the two is the choice of entertainment options—after all, you can have a drink anywhere. At Charlie’s, assuming you meet the minimum age requirement, you can enjoy all manner of welcome distractions while you enjoy your adult beverage. Four full pool tables are joined by a couple of dart boards, if manual dexterity is your thing. Silver Strike and Golden Tee are available for those more drawn to video gaming, and a jukebox pumps out classic rock anthems for those who want to cut up the dance floor. If you’d rather just park in one spot and take it all in, Charlie’s is great for that, as well. Plenty of seating means you should be able to find an ideal spot for watching your favorite team. And ensuring your team is on one of the 18 televisions should be pretty easy, considering that they subscribe to all the major sports packages. (Baseball will be in full swing soon, and this weekend, of course, supplies the grand finale of March Madness.) A good-humored crowd of regulars and friends keep lively conversation flowing, and there is a notable absence of the drama that shows up at a lot of

A great sports bar is more than just a watering hole. One crucial distinction between the two is the choice of entertainment options—after all, you can have a drink anywhere.

Charlie’s Sports Bar and Grill 4021 Hixson Pike (423) 825-4811 Hours: 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily 21+ at all times

other 21-and-up spots. Charlie’s is definitely a grown-folks’ establishment. That doesn’t mean you can’t let loose, though— Thursday nights, for instance, bring loads of fun in the form of Karaoke Nights, and live bands will grace the joint on occasion, as well. Charlie’s helps ensure that your night will end as enjoyably as it started by keeping drink prices low. Happy Hours run Monday through Saturday (with savings on each and every drink, as well as pitchers), and

Sundays bring $6 pitchers. Even if you can’t make it for Happy Hour, Charlie’s has some of, if not absolutely, the lowest prices on top-shelf drinks in town. A high-end tequila, vodka or whiskey will only run you $6.75! (Make it during Happy Hour, and that price will drop even further!) After a few drinks over the course of a long game, even the hardiest of stomachs begin to growl. Charlie’s offers all the classics you’d expect from any self-respecting sports bar. From

late-night staples like mozzarella sticks and jalapeño poppers to classics like onion rings and cheese fries, they’ve got you covered. Wings, the center of many a sports-fueled fete, are of course on offer, available naked or in hot, mild, or BBQ sauce. The burger drew me in. Promised to be a gargantuan 10 ounces by the menu, the seasoned patty did not disappoint. My bacon cheeseburger was positively massive—as in, I had to slow down to consider how to

take a bite. The juicy giant was accompanied by an ample portion of thick-cut steak fries to complete the quintessential allAmerican meal, washed down with a tall Yuengling draft. Charlie’s is essentially a family-run establishment. It’s easy to build a rapport with the bartenders, who are always a source of lively conversation if you’re so inclined. (Just in case you’re new, I’ll give you a piece of advice: it’s always a good idea to get to know your bartenders.) Stop in earlier rather than later, though—Charlie’s currently closes at 11 p.m. each night, though that will probably be extended once summer rolls around and nights grow longer. When it comes to what’s required of a good sports bar, Charlie’s fits the bill. The layout screams for a party, and they give you everything you need to get your own started as soon as you walk through the door. Watch your team’s next big game with them, and see if they don’t quickly become one of your go-to spots. • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 19


20 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones


$1 WINE BOTH LOCATIONS 205 Broad Street 423.266.5564

Mellow Mushroom Chattanooga

“Drink Up”—it’s getting hot out there. Across

1. Donkey was temporarily turned into one, in “Shrek 2” 6. Final decision 11. ___-droppingly bad 14. Receive, as a penalty 15. Far from lewd 16. The end of winter? 17. Where to play games like Little Red Riding Kombat and Jack and Jill’s SkeeBall? 19. Pork pie, e.g. 20. Golfer ___ Aoki 21. Paperless tests 23. Meat preparation in “Up in Smoke”? 29. Big band leader Tommy 30. It’s a perfect world 31. Yani Tseng’s org. 32. Leavened 34. Question from viewers if TV’s Robin will get a cohost? 40. Camped out in line, maybe 41. Green ice cream flavor 43. Greg’s mate, in a sitcom 46. Flick where you might see planets held up by fishing line 48. Imaginary cutoff of supplies?

51. Language we got the words “basmati” and “juggernaut” from 52. Gp. against workplace discrimination 53. Fifth qtrs., so to speak 54. Where cartoon character-shaped balloons fly? 61. Expert 62. Got hitched again 63. James T. Kirk, by state of birth 64. Wrath or sloth 65. Hollers 66. Topic for the marriage counselor


1. Nuclear fam member 2. NBA airer 3. Prefix meaning “green” 4. It’s north of Afr. 5. Fog maker at a haunted house 6. Get the heck outta there 7. One of the 30 companies comprising the Dow Jones Industrial Average 8. Supporting vote 9. Regrettable 10. Small game of b-ball

11. “Holy warrior” in the news 12. Common shrub 13. Hoses down 18. Pale gray 22. Genre for Schoolly D 23. CCXXV doubled 24. Kachina doll maker 25. Rowing machine units 26. Morales of “NYPD Blue” 27. Son in the “National Lampoon’s Vacation” series 28. Tabloid pair 32. Out in the sticks 33. Speck in the Pacific: abbr. 35. Like yellow-green and red-orange, on the color wheel 36. Weekly academic mag for docs 37. Nutty way to run 38. Female megastar, in pop music 39. British children’s author Blyton

42. It holds a golfer’s balls 43. Periodic table creator Mendeleev 44. Jim who brought us Kermit 45. “Then what happened?” 46. Betty of cartoons 47. Obama opponent of 2008 49. Diagonal slant 50. City the Sisters of Mercy and Corinne Bailey Rae come from 51. Microbrewery’s need 55. Quilting gettogether 56. Bird that can turn its head 135 degrees in both directions 57. Caviar, e.g. 58. You may be struck with it 59. Another nuclear fam member 60. Naval rank: abbr.

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0565.

2318 Lifestyle Way 423.468.3737

Mellow Mushroom Waterside

600 words DEADLINE EXTENDED! Third Annual Short Story Contest “Chattanooga Stories” For our Third Annual Story Contest, aka “600 Words,” we introduce the theme “Chattanooga Stories.” In 600 words, tell a story about our town—a distant memory, a recent event or encounter, for example—and submit it by email only (along with your contact information) no later than April 30, 2012, to: Subject: Short Story Contest

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RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162 • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

Bachelor Essentials: The Eatin’Shirt i am the consummate bachelor. not the oscar Madison type mind you, but more Felix Unger. For those of you who didn’t get that pop-culture reference, it’s like I’m more of a Jerry than a Kramer—neat, organized, my place is (at least) surface clean, but definitely not deep down clean. I’ll let the sheets go an extra week if I’m the only one sleeping in them. And I don’t necessarily pick up crumbs or Q-tips right away, and all of my toilet seats are perpetually “up.” When it comes to the kitchen, my culinary skills are just shy of a short-order cook. I make a mean grilled cheese, pasta, stir-fry and can heat up restaurant leftovers like a pro. I’m the guy Swanson has made a fortune feeding with compartmentalized meat-andthree meals “fresh” from the microwave. And if it’s not frozen, most anything resembling a meal served at my house likely arrived in a “to-go” Styrofoam container. Learning to cook for me is “on the back burner” so to speak. Some will say that eating out nearly all of the time isn’t very economical. I disagree. Over the years, I’ve learned how to order the right selections at the right places to stretch what would normally be considered a single serving into two or three meals. For example, I can make a $7.99 carry out special pizza last at least three meals. Eight bucks for three meals

is a hell of a lot cheaper than whatever I would spend burning anything I attempted to cook from scratch. Me and my other single pals even compare notes on the subject. I recently learned that leftover fries from Five Guys chopped up and cooked with scrambled eggs the next morning makes a fine breakfast. Due to my erratic work and social schedule, meals for me are often eaten at odd times, where breakfast is almost always consumed during brunch hours, lunch doesn’t happen unless I have a lunch meeting, and dinner is either eaten around 4 p.m. or midnight—

22 • The Pulse • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 •

Neatly tucked in a corner next to the sofa, this combat veteran has seen so much action that it’s likely the food-stain badges of honor it contains are all that’s holding it’s precious fibers together. but rarely ever in between. I come home from my afternoon meetings or after a night out and prepare my bachelor meals to be devoured on the couch in front of the television. This habit poses an unnatural eating stance where I’m comfortably laid back instead of leaning over the kitchen table so crumbs and sauce droppings that don’t make the security of a napkin nearly always end up on my shirt. This means that over the

years I’ve gone through gallons of Spray ‘n Wash in order to preserve my finer clothing and to avoid looking like a slob when wearing those unfortunate soldiers that’ve retained the scars of battle wounds inflicted during the slaughter of savory sack lunch enjoyment. I’ve learned that there are many types of sauces and condiments that just can’t be trusted. Soy sauce, mustard, pasta sauce, grease of course, and other substances that elude immediate doctoring by chemical pre-wash treatment have the power to ruin a perfectly good shirt. Nothing is more frustrating for me than pulling a dirty shirt out of the hamper for washing and noticing a deep stain that’s had days to set in and will likely not dissolve with the feeble attempt of Tide alone. So, being the resourceful type, I have found a way to avoid these mishaps forever. It’s called “the eatin’ shirt.” Now, when I come home and want to heat up something in the kitchen to enjoy on the sofa, I remove whatever shirt I happen to be sporting at the time and replace it with a Tshirt that I have affectionately dubbed my “eatin’ shirt.” Neatly tucked in a corner next to the sofa, this combat veteran has

seen so much action that it’s likely the food stain badges of honor it contains are all that’s holding it’s precious fibers together at this point. My eatin’ shirt has become a required staple of my wardrobe, for it’s the fall guy for preserving the pristine nature of its comrades in the closet. This shirt goes in and handles all of the dirty work so that my nicer shirts can live free to make me look presentable for yet another day. Now, before you say to yourself, “Man, Chuck has this filthy disgusting T-shirt shoved into his couch for spilling stuff on,” let me say that the eatin’ shirt does get laundered often. Likely more often than any other garment I own. But the important thing to keep in mind is that bachelor wisdom demands the service of a shirt that can help keep a single man dapper during solo mealtimes. And my eatin’ shirt is just that important to me. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts. • march 29-APRIL 4, 2012 • The Pulse • 23

The Pulse 9.13 » March 29-April 4, 2012